You Love & You Learn Podcast (Sarah Yudkin)
Explorez tous les épisodes de You Love & You Learn Podcast
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| 24 Jan 2023 | #1 - Why Does Relationship Anxiety Happen? | 00:22:03 | |
Welcome to the You Love and You Learn podcast! I am beyond excited to release this into the world, and can’t wait to dive deeper into the world of love and relationships. Today’s episode introduces my mission behind this podcast and shares a handful of reasons why relationship anxiety (which is a big part of my story) tends to show up in healthy relationships. — Additional resources: | |||
| 24 Jan 2023 | #2 - My Relationship Anxiety Story: From “Do I love him enough?” to “He’s my person” | 00:37:22 | |
In this week’s episode I get much more detailed with my relationship anxiety journey: - the beliefs and experiences that led me to where I am today - leaving my ex and how I made that decision - my story with Nate - from “he’s amazing!” to “do I love him enough?” to “he’s my person” - the challenges we’ve faced along the way - the moment I realized this anxiety was my own and that I wanted to be with Nate - what I’ve learned along the way I hope my story reminds you that you’re not alone. Thank you for listening! *note: my podcast does not apply to abusive relationships — Additional resources: | |||
| 24 Jan 2023 | #3 - “Am I in the ‘right’ relationship?” | 00:18:48 | |
Is there such thing as the “right relationship?” Why is this such a common question we ask ourselves? How do we expand into a new way of thinking? I dive into my thoughts on this subject and how to think about our relationship in a way that is less anxiety-inducing. In the podcast, I mention relationship incompatibilities, and if you’re looking to answer the question “is it anxiety or incompatibility?” in your healthy relationship with more confidence, check out my 2-hour webinar on this for $27. CLICK HERE TO CHECK IT OUT — Additional resources: | |||
| 31 Jan 2023 | #4 - Strengthening Your Relationship Toolbox w/ Alexandra of @toolboxforlove | 00:54:20 | |
In this episode, I sit down with Alexandra of @toolboxforlove as she shares tools that can help strengthen our relationship toolbox and busts the myth that “relationships are zero work.” — Alexandra: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toolboxforlove/ Website: https://www.toolboxforlove.com/ — Additional resources:
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| 07 Feb 2023 | #5 - 6 Lessons from my 6-year Relationship | 00:43:05 | |
I celebrated 6 years with Nate in December and reflected on 6 important lessons from the 6 years. If I had known these earlier on, it would have saved me from a lot of disappointment and anxiety. DM me on Instagram at @youloveandyoulearn with your favorite lesson from the episode! And if this episode was helpful, it would mean the world for you to rate + review the podcast. That helps get the word out to others who may enjoy this information. In the episode, I mentioned the “is it anxiety or incompatibility?” webinar. You can purchase the replay for $27 here: https://sarah-yudkin.mykajabi.com/ra-or-incompatibility-webinar — Additional resources:
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| 14 Feb 2023 | #6 - From Doubt to a 20-year Thriving Relationship w/ Christine Earthart | 00:53:06 | |
In this episode, I sit down with Christine Eartheart, Founder of the Center for Thriving Relationships where she, along with her wonderful husband, helps couples transform conflict, deepen connection, and create the kind of love they have always wanted. She has so much wisdom to share about how to create a thriving relationship, and I can’t wait for you to hear everything she shares! — Check out more of Christine and her work here: https://centerforthrivingrelationships.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/centerforthrivingrelationships/ — Additional resources:
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| 21 Feb 2023 | #7 - 5 Ways to Respond When Anxiety Shows Up | 00:28:45 | |
When anxiety shows up, it can feel tempting to want to make it go away as fast as possible. I’ve found this can actually make the anxiety stronger, and offer up 5 alternate ways to respond next time anxiety shows up. “Is it anxiety or incompatibility? webinar mentioned in the episode: https://youloveandyoulearn.com/ra-or-incompatibility-webinar — Additional resources:
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| 28 Feb 2023 | #8 - Relationships Force Us to Answer Life’s Big Questions | 00:31:41 | |
When you’re in a relationship, life’s big questions present themself: who am I? what do I believe? what do I value? how do I want life to look? what is normal? In this episode, I walk through these big life questions and help normalize asking them within the context of a relationship. — If you’re interested in Deconstruct the Doubts digital course, click here to join: http://bit.ly/3ZoKpw0 Deconstruct the Doubts is a self-study course to understand why you’re questioning your relationship and give you tools to reduce the doubts. I’ve just added 2 Bonus Modules and refreshed the Implementation Workbook—it’s gotten a whole refresh. Price goes up Friday March 3rd! — Additional resources: | |||
| 07 Mar 2023 | #9 - Building Self-Awareness to Strengthen Your Relationships w/ Elizabeth Overstreet | 00:52:34 | |
I sit down to talk with author Elizabeth Overstreet, a trusted love and relationship strategist who keeps things real. She’s a coach and motivational speaker who’s been featured ABC, CBS, NBC, The New York Times and helps you create personalized, practical roadmaps to happier, more satisfying relationships with others and yourself. — Elizabeth: Check out more of her work at: http://www.elizabethoverstreet.com/ Her Podcast Bedtalks: https://www.anchor.fm/bedtalks — Additional resources:
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| 14 Mar 2023 | #10 - We Can’t Dismantle Relationship Anxiety Unless We Do THIS… w/ Chelsea Horton of @healing.embodied | 00:43:35 | |
Chelsea Horton is a Board-Certified Dance/Movement Therapist and the founder of Healing Embodied. She has experienced anxiety, shame, and religious trauma and has dedicated the last 9 years of her life unlearning this and stepping more fully into her authentic self. She has worked with hundreds of people around the world, helping them to overcome anxiety in their lives and relationships through the power of dance/movement therapy. — Chelsea: Website: www.healingembodied.com Instagram: @healing.embodied — Additional resources:
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| 21 Mar 2023 | #11 - Instead of Everything Being 50/50 in your Relationship, Try This… w/ Nate Klemp | 00:57:55 | |
In this episode I sat down with author Nate Klemp to talk about a new approach to relationships and marriage (as seen in his book The 80/80 Marriage) and how to bring more acceptance and mindfulness to your relationship and life. — Nate: Learn more about the book The 80/80 Marriage: https://www.8080marriage.com Sign up for the free weekly newsletter: https://www.8080marriage.com/subscribe Follow @8080marriage on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/8080marriage/ — Additional resources:
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| 27 Mar 2023 | #12 - Being Single While in Partnership w/ Natalie Kennedy of @anxiouslovecoach | 01:06:52 | |
Can you be single and in a partnership at the same time?! I sit down with Natalie Kennedy of @AnxiousLoveCoach to discuss how to embrace your independence while in a relationship. We discuss:
— Check out more from Natalie here: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/anxiouslovecoach/ Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/6MUpA6o5RA9d1Ns4a66kbF?si=b5314ad623e1496e — Additional resources:
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| 03 Apr 2023 | #13 - "How do I deal with negative comments from friends/family about my relationship?" | 00:35:55 | |
This week, I answer the question “How do I deal with negative comments from friends/family about my relationship?” I cover:
In this podcast, I mention my two webinars, which you can purchase the replays of here: — Additional resources: | |||
| 10 Apr 2023 | #14 - “Is it possible to move past ‘the ick’ in my relationship?” | 00:27:27 | |
This week I answer the question “is it possible to move past ‘the ick’ in my relationship?” ‘The ick’ being moments of being turned off, disgusted, or feeling like something your partner does is cringe-y. I cover:
In this week’s episode I mention having 1 private coaching spot available to begin in April. Learn more and apply here. — Additional resources: | |||
| 17 Apr 2023 | #15 - Is Resistance Blocking You From Healing Relationship Anxiety/ROCD? w/ Kiyomi LeFleur of Awaken Into Love | 00:40:55 | |
In this episode, I sit down with Relationship OCD expert and founder of Awaken Into Love, Kiyomi LaFleur, to talk about resistance and how it shows up in our journey to heal relationship anxiety/ROCD. We cover:
— More of Kiyomi’s work: — Additional resources: | |||
| 24 Apr 2023 | #16 - Let’s Talk Somatics + Sex! w/ Marina, the Compassionate Somatic Coach | 00:54:02 | |
TW: this episode mentions sexual assault and rape. In this episode I sit down with Marina, the Compassionate Somatic Coach to talk about somatic work (working with the body) and how our body affects how we show up sexually. We cover:
— For more of Marina’s work, check out:
— Additional resources: | |||
| 01 May 2023 | #17 - “I’m not sure if I’m ‘in love’ with my partner. I just ‘love’ them…is that enough?” | 00:54:57 | |
In this episode, I address questions like: “Did I fall out love with my partner?” “What if I feel love toward my partner, but don’t feel IN LOVE with my partner?” “What if we fall out of love in the future…then what?” “If you fall out of love…can you fall back “in love”? I explore what the differences are between being “in love” and “love” and give you new ways of thinking about love that can expand your perspective. Excited to hear what you think of this one! DM me @youloveandyoulearn on Instagram with your thoughts :) And if you are enjoying the podcast, it would mean the world to me if you can leave a review + rate the podcast. I appreciate you! — Additional resources:
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| 08 May 2023 | #18 - How to Make Space for Our Anxious Parts w/ Alex of @forloveweheal | 00:56:54 | |
In this episode, I sit down with Alex Bishop of @forloveweheal. He’s a registered counsellor who helps others with a wide range of personal and relational challenges work towards a more fulfilling loving relationship with their partner and themselves. In this episode we cover:
— Check out more of Alex’s work here:
— Additional resources:
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| 15 May 2023 | #19 - Are We Too Attached to Our Attachment Style? w/ Stephanie Rigg | 00:53:54 | |
In this episode I sit down with Stephanie Rigg to talk about attachment and how our attachment styles can affect how we show up in our relationships. We cover:
— Check out more of Stephanie’s work:
— Additional resources:
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| 22 May 2023 | #20 - 6 reasons I felt discontent in my relationship | 01:08:38 | |
In today’s episode, I share 6 reasons why I felt discontent in my relationship—6 ‘blockers’ of content (peaceful happiness) in my relationship. I also share 6 practices that have helped me reduce discontent, and enhance feelings of content in my relationship. APPLY FOR THE PIONEER COHORT OF CULTIVATING CONTENT HERE: https://www.youloveandyoulearn.com/cultivating-content-mastermind Kristin Neff Ted Talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvtZBUSplr4 “Is it anxiety or am I settling?” webinar: https://www.youloveandyoulearn.com/is-it-anxiety-or-settling — Additional resources:
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| 12 Jun 2023 | #23 - The “should’s” + pressures of love in our 30’s w/ Emma Wilson, Turning 30 Coach | 00:58:11 | |
In this episode, I got a chance to speak with Emma Wilson, the Turning 30 Coach about how relationship anxiety can be impacted as we near/are in our 30’s. We cover:
Learn more about Emma’s work here: Instagram: @turning30coach Website: www.turning30coach.com Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/il/podcast/turning-30-podcast/id1526149550 In the episode, I mentioned the “would I be happier single?” blog post, which you can read here: https://www.youloveandyoulearn.com/blog/would-i-be-happier-single In the episode, I mentioned the “is it anxiety, or am I settling?” webinar, which you can purchase here for $27: https://www.youloveandyoulearn.com/is-it-anxiety-or-settling — Additional resources:
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| 29 May 2023 | #21 - Leave emotional addiction in your relationship behind w/ Star Jesse Taylor | 01:38:26 | |
This episode is a masterclass of how to shift out of the compulsive patterns of relationship anxiety and ROCD and switching to acting and living from our values. In this episode we discuss:
Learn more about Star and his work here: TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@starjessetaylor Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/starjessetaylor/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y%3D In the episode, Star mentions the work of Mark Freeman - here is Mark’s YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@everybodyhasabrain/videos — Additional resources:
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| 05 Jun 2023 | #22 - My journey towards self-love | 00:31:00 | |
This is a vulnerable episode where I share my experiences and insights on the journey towards self-love, what I’ve changed my mind on when it comes to self love, and my intentions for practicing self-love moving forward. — Additional resources:
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| 19 Jun 2023 | #24 - 5 Books That Changed The Way I View Love + Relationships | 00:56:49 | |
This week I share 5 books that have changed my life and the way I view love and relationships. Each book has meant so much to me and I dive into some of my favorite concepts + quotes from each book. I cover: Mating in Captivity Esther Perel → this changed the way I view passion in relationships and transitioning out of the honeymoon phase The Wisdom of Anxiety by Sheryl Paul → validated my experience of relationship anxiety and brought forward a compassionate interpretation of it Eight Dates by John and Julie Gottman → helped me understand important relationship dynamics and open doors of discussion with Nate on our shared values and life visions The Relationship Handbook by George Pransky → recent book that changed the way I perceive moments of relational challenge and why they happen All About Love Bell Hooks → opened up my perspective on love and what love means — Additional resources:
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| 03 Jul 2023 | #26 - did relationship anxiety visit when I got engaged? | 00:40:55 | |
In Part 2 I’m sharing the behind the scenes of getting engaged and how I felt during and after. I answer community questions like “did you expect it?” “were you anxious during or after?” and “did you feel disappointed during the proposal?” — Additional resources:
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| 26 Jun 2023 | #25 - How To Know You’re “Ready” to Get Engaged | 00:57:30 | |
ICYMI — I’m engaged! In this episode, I’m answering community questions like “how do you know you’re ready to get engaged?” + “what did your pre-engagement discussions look like?” I also share more about my own transformation from being scared of marriage to feeling ready to move forward. Be sure to tune in next week to hear the proposal story, how I felt during and after the proposal, and my post-engagement reflections. — Additional resources:
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| 10 Jul 2023 | #27 Emotional Wounding’s Affect on Relationships w/ Dr. Russell Kennedy | 00:58:46 | |
In this episode, I sat down with Dr. Russell Kennedy, author of award-winning book Anxiety Rx. We talk about how our emotional wounding (which he calls alarm) affects anxiety and what to do about it. We cover:
Check out more of Dr. Kennedy’s work here: — Additional resources:
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| 17 Jul 2023 | #28 - “I feel silly getting hung up on my partner’s looks” | 00:39:53 | |
Have you ever nitpicked your partner’s physical appearance and felt so guilty for it? You are NOT ALONE! In this episode I address a community-submitted topic: hyper-fixation on “small, superficial, or physical traits about my partner, like teeth, hair, posture, or mannerisms.” Hyper-focus on our partner’s physical appearance can cause us to feel shame, so I discuss how to shift out of the shame and into more self-compassion. I also address the question of “if they were exactly the person they are right now, but looked different or to my ideal standard, then would all the questions around it go away?” DM me @youloveandyoulearn on Instagram with your takeaways! — Additional resources: | |||
| 25 Jul 2023 | #29 - Is it wrong to find someone else besides your partner attractive? | 00:33:41 | |
Is it wrong to find someone else besides your partner attractive? In today’s episode, I explore:
I have 2 private coaching spots opening up to begin in August or September…here is the link for more information and to apply. — Additional resources: | |||
| 01 Aug 2023 | #30 – Help! I Can’t Stop Nitpicking My Partner w/ Ivy Miller | 00:33:38 | |
Have you ever judged your partner for making small mistakes like leaving their towel on the floor, or not doing something the way you asked? It doesn’t feel great (I’ve been there, too). In today’s episode, I sat down with Ivy Miller, a certified Mindset & Relationship Coach, to discuss:
…and more. Check out more of Ivy’s work here: Website: https://www.ivymiller.coach/ Group Coaching Waitlist: https://ivyannemiller.mykajabi.com/loving-leaders-waitlist Instagram and TikTok Accounts: @ivyannemiller — Additional resources: | |||
| 08 Aug 2023 | #31 - 9 Tools to Help You Navigate Relationships (& Life) | 00:39:28 | |
Relationship anxiety has so many parallels with what it means to be human. It’s an invitation to lean into uncertainty, discomfort, and change. It’s an invitation to build more self-trust, acceptance, and contentment (peaceful happiness). It’s an invitation to practice releasing expectations, taking responsibility, and explore our values. All of these are not only part of relationship, but part of LIFE, and that’s what I explore in this week’s episode. I have a few private coaching spots open to begin in August + September: Apply for private coaching here. — Additional resources:
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| 15 Aug 2023 | #32 - “Is it relationship anxiety…or are we incompatible?” | 00:48:11 | |
“Is it relationship anxiety…or are we incompatible?” is the #1 question I am asked as a relationship anxiety coach. In this episode, I share 2 frameworks to consider when answering this question, why answering this question can be so challenging, and important reminders to keep in mind if this question brings up a lot of fear for you. To explore this topic further: Check out the “is it anxiety or incompatibility?” webinar + Q&A replay. Get it here for $27. Or, apply for private coaching here. Here is the Mel Robbins Dr. Spirit clip referenced in the podcast — Additional resources:
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| 22 Aug 2023 | #33 - How to Navigate Relationship (& Life) Transitions w/ Ela Topcuoglu | 00:46:13 | |
Transitions and change can bring up a lot of emotion. Whether it’s moving in together, getting engaged, moving to a new city (or country), or changing jobs…there are stages we go through in times of transition. In this episode, I sat down with Ela Topcuoglu, a transformational Life Coach who works with people to make the most of life transitions by helping them become more aware of the psychological, emotional, and spiritual aspects of those changes. — Check out more of Ela’s work here: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elavatecoaching/ Life Transition Quiz: https://www.tryinteract.com/share/quiz/6426bf1ef9c520001499a365 — Additional resources:
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| 29 Aug 2023 | #34 - Becoming More Securely Attached w/ Elizabeth Gillette | 00:43:09 | |
With all the buzz of attachment theory, it’s easy to think being securely attached is “better” and being insecurely attached is “worse.” But what if we were able to shift this perspective and bring a kinder, gentler approach to attachment theory? In this episode, I sat down with Elizabeth Gillette, LCSW, who is an attachment specialist that supports her clients in developing secure ways of relating and improving their relationships. We cover:
…and more! Here are the books Elizabeth Mentioned in the episode:
— Stay connected with Elizabeth here:
— Additional resources:
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| 05 Sep 2023 | #35 - Is Your Relationship Boring, or Are You? | 00:28:53 | |
Do relationships inevitably become boring after the “honeymoon phase” ends? If we’re feeling bored in our relationship—is that a sign something is wrong? I explore these questions and how to strike a balance between finding excitement in a relationship while also knowing that excitement 24/7 isn’t the goal. If you’re ready to confidently navigate relationship anxiety… Apply for private coaching here. — Additional resources:
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| 12 Sep 2023 | #36 - Communication, Conflict, and Connection w/ Jocelyn and Aaron Freeman | 00:39:29 | |
Strengthening communication, navigating conflict, and deepening connection are 3 important pillars of a healthy relationship. I got the chance to chat with Jocelyn and Aaron Freeman of @meetthefreemans to explore these 3 pillars. In this episode we cover:
…and more. — Check out more of the Freeman’s work here: Website: https://www.meetthefreemans.com/ Book: https://www.meetthefreemans.com/argument-hangover Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/meet_thefreemans/?hl=en — Additional resources:
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| 19 Sep 2023 | #37 - Is your Relationship Healthy? w/ Dr. Molly Burrets | 00:47:38 | |
Have you ever questioned if your relationship is healthy or healthy “enough”? In this conversation with Dr. Molly Burrets we explore:
…and more. If you're worried you're in an abusive relationship, review signs of an abusive relationship here. — Check out more of Dr. Molly’s work below: Website: https://www.drmollyburrets.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmollyburrets/ — Additional resources:
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| 26 Sep 2023 | #38 - What Does it Mean to be Two-Feet-In a Relationship? | 00:27:58 | |
In this episode I answer a question from a You Love and You Learn community member: “you’ve mentioned something along the lines of ‘choosing to be all in and not one foot in, one foot out’ - I find myself feeling one foot out but I’m not sure what to do to feel two feet in. What does it mean to be two feet in? I say it in my head but then I’m not sure I’m choosing so in my actions.” Join October’s cohort of Beyond the Doubts group coaching here! (enrollment closes October 13th and spaces are limited). Additional resources: | |||
| 03 Oct 2023 | #39 - Why Do I Think About My Ex? w/ Lindsay O’Brien | 00:45:05 | |
Have you ever thought about an ex while in your healthy relationship? (maybe even an ex you’d been in an unhealthy relationship with?) In today’s episode, I sit down with Lindsay O’Brien, a Dating Coach, Breakup Mentor, and Energy Healer who went through her own journey from divorce and narcissistic abuse to appreciating healthy, stable love. We discuss how to take our ex’s off the pedestal to be more present and appreciative of the person in front of us. Join October’s cohort of Beyond the Doubts group coaching here — For more of Lindsay’s work: Instagram: @thereallovealchemist Website: https://thereallovealchemist.com/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV3W4vAqYSBs6vU4E1vWx-g — Additional resources:
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| 10 Oct 2023 | #40 - Should You Set Social Media Boundaries w/ Your Partner? (& other popular questions) | 00:37:55 | |
In this special guest interview episode, I join actor and YouTube host Kate Easton for a conversation about relationship anxiety. She interviews me and we talk about:
I loved this conversation because it discussed topics that hadn’t quite made their way to the You Love and You Learn podcast yet…enjoy! Join October’s cohort of Beyond the Doubts group coaching here — Check Kate out here: instagram.com/itskateeaston Yoga Nidra YouTube channel I mentioned in the episode: https://www.youtube.com/@SarovaraYoga/videos — Additional resources: | |||
| 17 Oct 2023 | #41 - Creating a Safe Space for Your Partner w/ Alexis | 00:40:06 | |
I’m SO excited to bring you this conversation with Alexis, a past private coaching client. We worked together almost 3 years ago, and yet Alexis continues to use tools and practices from our work to this day. Learning to show up in your relationship in a more grounded way is possible, and I wanted you to hear from someone who’s experienced relationship anxiety and learned how to navigate it in a much more helpful way. Here’s what we cover in this episode:
…and so much more! APPLY FOR PRIVATE COACHING HERE. This is for you if you are in a relationship that you really want to work out yet your anxiety gets in the way, and you know that having someone who’s been in your shoes to guide and support you as you learn to navigate moments of anxiety would be invaluable. — Additional resources:
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| 24 Oct 2023 | #42 - How Perfectionism + Expectations Affect Relationships | 00:32:46 | |
Do you often feel disappointed in your relationship (or life) when things don’t go how you expect they will? Do you have very specific ideas of how your relationship (and life) “should” feel or look, and worry that anything different means it’s “wrong?” In this episode I share what perfectionism and Perfect Moment Syndrome (coined by author Sarah Wilson) are and how they affect our relationships. I also explore how expectations affect how happy or unhappy we are in our relationships. If this is resonating with you and you want to reduce perfectionism in your relationship… APPLY FOR PRIVATE COACHING HERE. This is for you if you are in a relationship that you really want to work out yet your anxiety gets in the way, and you know that having someone who’s been in your shoes to guide and support you as you learn to navigate moments of anxiety would be invaluable. — Additional resources:
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| 31 Oct 2023 | #43 - 7 Ways to Reduce Perfectionism In Our Relationships | 00:34:48 | |
Welcome back for part 2 of this 2-part series on perfectionism in our relationships. Be sure to check out episode #42 before diving into this one! In this episode I share 7 ways to reduce perfectionism in our relationships. Sneak peek:
— APPLY FOR PRIVATE COACHING HERE. This is for you if you are in a relationship that you really want to work out yet your anxiety gets in the way, and you know that having someone who’s been in your shoes to guide and support you as you learn to navigate moments of anxiety would be invaluable. Additional resources:
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| 07 Nov 2023 | #44 - Will I Suffer With Relationship Anxiety/ROCD Forever? w/ Christine | 00:51:04 | |
Very grateful to bring you another conversation with a private coaching client of mine, Christine. These conversations are so important for me because I want to peel back the curtain of others who experience relationship anxiety/ROCD to show you that you’re not alone and that you don’t have to suffer for the rest of your life, Here’s what we talk about in this episode:
…and so much more! APPLY FOR PRIVATE COACHING HERE. This is for you if you are in a relationship that you really want to work out yet your anxiety gets in the way, and you know that having someone who’s been in your shoes to guide and support you as you learn to navigate moments of anxiety would be invaluable. — Additional resources:
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| 14 Nov 2023 | #45 - Making Your Relationship Work w/ Mallory of @makemarriagework | 00:45:18 | |
I sat down with Mallory, a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and 1/2 of @makemarriagework to talk about what it takes to make a relationship work. We cover:
…and more! — For more of Mallory’s work: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/makemarriagework/?hl=en Her free workbook: https://www.mallorywolfgramm.com/free-resource Book coaching with her: https://www.mallorywolfgramm.com/coaching2023 — Additional resources:
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| 21 Nov 2023 | #46 - Do God/The Universe Give Signs About Your Relationship? | 00:54:24 | |
In this week’s episode I got to sit down with a married couple who each experienced their own versions of relationship anxiety and are now married for 4+ years. Joy is a licensed marriage and family therapist/relationship coach, and Mathieu is a relationship coach, and i n this conversation we address a common question in the relationship anxiety space - the question of “Is God/The Universe giving me signs about my relationship?” We cover:
…and more — Check out more of their work here: Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/joyrossignol/ Podcast - Connected and Committed https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/connected-and-committed/id1619614442 — Additional resources:
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| 28 Nov 2023 | #47 - Should You Tell Your Partner About Relationship Anxiety? | 00:31:48 | |
Should you tell your partner about your relationship anxiety? If so, how? I’m often asked questions like: "How much should you disclose about your relationship anxiety to your partner to avoid making them feel bad or scared?" Today I’m answering that question and telling you:
…and more.
– APPLY FOR PRIVATE COACHING HERE. This is for you if you are in a relationship that you really want to work out yet your anxiety gets in the way, and you know that having someone who’s been in your shoes to guide and support you as you learn to navigate moments of anxiety would be invaluable. – Additional resources:
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| 05 Dec 2023 | #48 - Behind-the-Scenes of My Life and Relationship Amidst a Transitional Time | 00:45:46 | |
In this solo episode I’m sharing 7 reflections that have come up (or revisited my consciousness) over the last few months since moving home from Sweden with Nate. This is me pulling the curtain back and sharing some behind-the-scenes of how my life and relationship have looked in this transitional time. My hope is it helps you feel less alone as you navigate the inevitable ebbs and flows of your relationship. If you’ve been enjoying the podcast, I’d greatly appreciate you leaving a 5-star rating and/or leaving a written review on Apple Podcasts with how the podcast has helped or impacted your life. Thank you so much for listening! I appreciate you. — APPLY FOR PRIVATE COACHING HERE. This is for you if you are in a relationship that you really want to work out yet your anxiety gets in the way, and you know that having someone who’s been in your shoes to guide and support you as you learn to navigate moments of anxiety would be invaluable. Additional resources:
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| 12 Dec 2023 | #49 - Let Go of Controlling Habits in Your Relationship w/ Natalie of @anxiouslovecoach | 00:59:50 | |
One of the most challenging things to practice in relationships (and life) is releasing control of things that are not in our control. And one thing that is most definitely not in our control is our partner (or any other human), though there are many times where we end up unintentionally trying to control them.
This may not be intentional, but it’s something that can wear down a relationship if we are not mindful. In this episode, I bring back Natalie Kennedy of @anxiouslovecoach to discuss:
…and so much more! — Check out more of Natalie’s work here: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/anxiouslovecoach/?hl=en Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-anxious-love-coach/id1518652051 — Additional resources:
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| 19 Dec 2023 | #50 - How Default Survival Responses Affect Relationships w/ Amanda Armstrong | 01:04:47 | |
In this episode I got to sit down with Amanda Armstrong who is a neuroscience and trauma-informed anxiety & depression coach. Amanda helped share more about how to understand our and our partner’s default survival responses, which play a HUGE role in how we show up in our relationships. We talked about:
…and so much more! The below links share more about Amanda and and her work: https://www.instagram.com/amandaontherise/ Here are the podcast episodes that inspired this conversation: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6dqYmqtnjRQ2geRRrgB8Y8?si=9af8d8ff50ed4225 https://open.spotify.com/episode/5F5w3yVYCcihx2swMxr20m?si=01ae54e1ce674d3f — Additional resources:
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| 26 Dec 2023 | #51 - 6 Ways to Manage Relationship Impostor Syndrome | 00:38:35 | |
Do you ever worry that other people will discover that your relationship isn’t as shiny and perfect as they think it is? Or that you’ll somehow be exposed for experiencing relationship anxiety? In this episode I’m responding to a You Love and You Learn community submission where someone shared they have a fear that “even though I am confident and content with my partner and relationship, someone else may see through it and call us out on our ‘bluff’ - that we are incompatible, not right, etc. No one has ever said this to us but the fear is there” This episode talks more about that fear, how it contributes to relationship impostor syndrome, and 6 ways to manage relationship impostor syndrome. Thank you so much for listening to the You Love and You Learn Podcast this year! | |||
| 02 Jan 2024 | #52 - Leaning into Discomfort in Your Relationship w/ Robert James | 01:02:27 | |
In this episode, I sit down with Robert James, an OCD & anxiety coach who having spent years struggling with OCD, finally learned to overcome & now helps others to do the same. We talked all about what it means to “lean into discomfort” in our journey to navigate relationship OCD and relationship anxiety (or general OCD and anxiety). Relationships bring up uncomfortable emotions at times, and if we shy away from them or react to them every time—we will be in for a bumpy ride. Robert shares more about:
You can find out more about Robert and his work at his website - https://www.robertjamescoaching.com — APPLY FOR PRIVATE COACHING HERE. This is for you if you are in a relationship that you really want to work out yet your anxiety gets in the way, and you know that having someone who’s been in your shoes to guide and support you as you learn to navigate moments of anxiety would be invaluable. Additional resources:
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| 09 Jan 2024 | #53 - Comparison in Relationships | 00:38:40 | |
Do you tend to compare your relationship to others a lot? Does it make you feel like your relationship isn’t up to par? I’m right there with ya—comparison is something I’ve had a hard time with for most of my life. AND, it’s also something I’ve really worked on in the last few years and I’ve been able to see improvements in. In this episode I dive into why comparison happens, what type of person is most likely to compare, the types of comparisons that can come up, how to change our relationship to comparison, and some reminders about comparison… …all in the hopes that you can look at comparison in a new way and feel inspired to respond to it more intentionally. — Additional resources:
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| 16 Jan 2024 | #54 - Jealous About Your Partner's Past? w/ Eva Thompson | 00:47:49 | |
Have you ever been jealous (or extremely jealous) of your partner’s past? Perhaps you’ve ruminated on their ex’s, asked them questions about their past, or felt like you can’t compare to people they’ve dated or been with intimately. This experience is a little something called retroactive jealousy (RJ), and I’m excited to bring on Eva Thompson who helps people overcome retroactive jealousy and get rid of intrusive thoughts and mental movies about their partners past. In this episode we talk about:
…and more. To dive deeper into Eva’s work, check out the below: Website: https://overcomingrelationshipanxiety.com/ One on one sessions: https://calendly.com/overcomingrelationshipanxiety/45min — Additional resources:
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| 23 Jan 2024 | #55 - The Gifts of Long Distance Relationships w/Hannah of @healingwithhan__ | 00:48:11 | |
Long distance relationships can be very challenging, especially if you’re getting pressure from external sources. “When are you going to be living together?” “Are you sure you’re not wasting your time?” “You should only do long distance if you have an end-date in sight”
In this conversation I talk to Hannah Frewin of @healingwithhan__ about the ups and downs of long distance and how she went from being anxious and doubtful about her relationship and partner to feeling fulfilled within herself and then her relationship.
Hannah shares how her own healing journey completely transformed the way she thinks about long distance, and has so much wisdom to share!
For more about Hannah, check out… Her Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/healingwithhan__/?hl=en
Her free training: https://healingwithhan.mykajabi.com/opt-in | |||
| 30 Jan 2024 | #56 - "Are We Too Different?" | 00:41:51 | |
Have you ever wondered if you and your partner are too different? Too many personality clashes? “How will this ever work?”
In today’s episode I explore why personality differences can feel so threatening and challenging, some reframes about personality differences to help you see them in a new light, and give strategies to navigate personality differences with more acceptance.
In the episode I mention my “is it anxiety or incompatibility?” webinar, which you can get here: https://www.youloveandyoulearn.com/ra-or-incompatibility-webinar — Additional resources:
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| 06 Feb 2024 | #57 - "Do I Stay, or Do I Go?" | 00:37:55 | |
“Do I stay or go?” “How do I know if a relationship is worth saving?” These are not-so-simple questions to answer, and can cause a lot of discomfort because of the uncertainty they drum up.
In this episode, I explore three ways to reflect on these questions (not to get 100% certainty, but to get curious about how you think and feel); Are you looking for permission to stay or go? Are you willing to accept the consequences that come from the decision? What parts of you are looking to stay, and what parts of you are looking to go? (And what is the motivation of these parts?) — Additional resources:
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| 13 Feb 2024 | #58 - 5 Life-Changing Relationship Rules w/ Kimberley Quinlan | 00:50:27 | |
In this episode, I talk with Kimberley Quinlan, LMFT, about 5 relationship rules that changed her life. She’s been married for 20 years and has so much wisdom to share.
Here’s a sneak peek at the 5 life-changing relationship rules: 1. It is not your job or my job to manage our family’s emotions. 2. It is not your job to please the people you are in a relationship with. 3. They are allowed to have their feelings about our choices. 4. It is okay if they struggle to understand us. 5. You get to (and they get to) change their mind or change, period.
This conversation is jam-packed with helpful reminders about how to navigate the challenges that can come from relationships.
For more information about Kimberley and her offerings, check out her website: https://kimberleyquinlan-lmft.com/ — Additional resources:
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| 20 Feb 2024 | #59 - Sex, Anxiety, and Sex Anxiety | 01:20:33 | |
If our sex life doesn’t match the steamy scenes from the movies, it can bring up a lot of anxiety: “am I with the right partner sexually?” “are we having enough sex?” “is our sex passionate enough?” etc. And the ironic part is that all the pressure we place on ourselves and our sex life to be amazing can create the opposite outcome—feeling distracted and disconnected. In this episode what I wish I learned about sex earlier (so I’d have lower sex-pectations) and how to show up intentionally when it comes to sex so it causes less anxiety. If you’re looking for a group of like-minded people alongside you as you build a more secure, loving relationship with your partner (and yourself), join the You Love and You Learn Patreon community! For just $7/month you get access to a live Q&A coaching call, exclusive content only on Patreon, instant access to my webinar library (normally $108), and weekly community posts and discussions. Click this link to join. — Resources mentioned in this episode:
— Additional resources:
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| 27 Feb 2024 | #60 - Taking Ownership for Relationship Anxiety w/ my client | 01:05:28 | |
A lot of times in our relationships, it’s easy to look at our partner and notice all the things they could be doing better. “It’s you, not me.” What’s not-so-easy is taking the time to understand how our own beliefs, patterns, and past experiences contribute to the dynamic. “It’s not you, it’s me.” In this episode, I sat down with a past private coaching client of mine who used to hyper-focus on all the ways her partner could be better. She’s not 100% “fixed” (and that no longer is her goal), but she’s made big shifts in how she relates to her partner (and herself). I can’t wait for you to hear her story, and know you will learn a lot! JOIN THE YOU LOVE AND YOU LEARN PATREON COMMUNITY FOR $7/month. — Additional resources:
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| 05 Mar 2024 | #61 - Cultivating Self-Compassion w/ Dr. Kristin Neff | 00:50:33 | |
In this episode I got to sit down with Kristin Neff, a pioneer in self-compassion research who has been recognized as one of the most influential researchers in psychology worldwide. We talked all about her findings about self-compassion and how creating a more compassionate relationship with ourselves influences how we show up for others. This episode covers:
…and more. Check out Kristin’s website here: self-compassion.org Check out Kristin’s Ted Talk here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvtZBUSplr4 Check out the self-compassion test here: https://self-compassion.org/self-compassion-test/ — JOIN THE YOU LOVE AND YOU LEARN PATREON COMMUNITY FOR $7/month. — Additional resources:
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| 12 Mar 2024 | #62 - The "I'll Be Happy When..." Trap in Relationships | 00:30:48 | |
I’ll be happy when… I find The One my anxiety goes away my partner acts this way my partner looks just right my feelings are what I expect them to be these thoughts go away We place so many rules on ourselves and our partners, and sometimes expect the perfect conditions to be in place in order for us to be happy or be content. In this episode, I break down why this “I’ll be happy when” trap isn’t helping ourselves and our relationships, and give you 5 practices to shift out of this. — JOIN THE YOU LOVE AND YOU LEARN PATREON COMMUNITY FOR $7/month. — Additional resources:
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| 19 Mar 2024 | #63 - From Triggered to Trusting Yourself w/ McKell Kristen | 00:47:28 | |
Do you feel like you’re constantly comparing your relationship to others around you? Maybe you see a couple break up then worry you’re doomed to break up too. Or you see another couple doing something “better” than you and feel like your relationship isn’t good enough. In this episode, I chat with relationship anxiety coach McKell Kristen about how to shift from being triggered about other people’s relationships to building a deeper trust in yourself and your relationship. She shares the 3 R’s of self-trust and how to shift your perspective around relationship comparisons. For more of McKell’s work, check out her Instagram https://www.instagram.com/mckellkristen/ and her free guide that she mentioned in the episode: https://relationshipanxiety.com/guidetolove/ — JOIN THE YOU LOVE AND YOU LEARN PATREON COMMUNITY FOR $7/month. — Additional resources:
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| 26 Mar 2024 | #64 - Relationships Are Big Opportunities to 'Look in the Mirror' | 00:30:24 | |
Our partners and relationships are constantly reflecting things back to us, and if we’re willing to ‘look in the mirror’ we can learn so much. One way we can learn from our relationship is to notice when we’re projecting; “when we see the self in the other.” In this episode, I normalize projecting (you’re not doing something ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’), give examples of projections in my relationship so you can notice them more in your own, and share steps to shift out of projection into more self-awareness (including 6 journal prompts to help you reflect). — If you’re enjoying the podcast… JOIN THE YOU LOVE AND YOU LEARN PATREON COMMUNITY FOR $7/month. — Additional resources:
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| 02 Apr 2024 | #65 - Mastering Your Mind Drama w/ Rebecca Ore | 00:49:25 | |
Does it ever feel like your mind just won’t stop throwing thoughts at you? In this episode, I sit down with relationship coach Rebecca Ore to talk about how to ‘master your mind drama’ and take your power back from anxious thoughts and feelings. She shares her own journey of going from feeling insecure in relationships to valuing herself and feeling worthy through simple, tangible tools and reframes that you can use right away! Resources Rebecca mentioned in the episode: Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers Loving What Is Byron Katie For more of Rebecca’s work: Website: www.rebeccaorecoaching.com Podcast: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2028082 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rebeccaorecoaching/ — JOIN THE YOU LOVE AND YOU LEARN PATREON COMMUNITY FOR $7/month. — Additional resources:
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| 09 Apr 2024 | #66 - 5 Signs of Perfectionism in Relationships (and Life) w/ Kayla Licari | 00:44:57 | |
Perfectionism has been a big theme on the podcast, but it’s sooooo needed! I truly think perfectionism is one of the biggest impacts on how we show up in our life and relationship, so this episode is for all my high achievers who put the bar so high for themselves and others around them. I sit down with Kayla Licari, a physician associate turned coach that helps perfectionists conquer overwhelm in love and life. After realizing she was burning out from overachieving, perfectionist loops that were ruining her marriage, she knew she had to find a way through and now helps others do the same. We talk about 5 signs of perfectionism in your relationships and life; control, fear, judgment, resentment, and prioritizing your needs last. For more of Kayla’s work, check out her Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themedicalperfectionist/ — JOIN THE YOU LOVE AND YOU LEARN PATREON COMMUNITY FOR $7/month. — Additional resources:
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| 16 Apr 2024 | #67 - The Unintended Consequences of Healing | 00:43:26 | |
‘Healing’ and growth are usually looked at as good things. But what happens when it becomes something we’re doing to try and be perfect and fix all the ‘bad stuff’?
If you feel like you ‘should’ be on a healing journey and growing, or else you’re doing something wrong and not going to live up to your ‘potential’ – this episode is for you. It’s a set of reminders that I come back to often, especially when my inner perfectionist tells me I’m not ‘healed’ enough. — If you’re enjoying the podcast… JOIN THE YOU LOVE AND YOU LEARN PATREON COMMUNITY FOR $7/month. — Additional resources:
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| 23 Apr 2024 | #68 - Build Healthy Realtionship Habits w/ Gottman Method Therapist Anna Aslanian | 00:45:22 | |
There is so much to learn from the Gottman Method of therapy, which is based on 40+ years of relationship research thanks to the work of John and Julie Gottman. I wanted to discuss how we can apply some of these key lessons to build better relationship habits, and was grateful to have a conversation with Anna Aslanian, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who’s a certified Gottman Method therapist. For more about Anna, check out: https://www.instagram.com/mytherapycorner/ https://www.gottman.com/author/anna-aslanian-lmft/ — If you’re enjoying the podcast… JOIN THE YOU LOVE AND YOU LEARN PATREON COMMUNITY FOR $7/month. — Additional resources:
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| 30 Apr 2024 | #69 - If My Relationship Isn't Easy, Am I Forcing It? | 00:57:38 | |
In this episode, I address advice like “a relationship should feel mostly positive / easy / joyful in order to be worth it”, and “if the balance swings negative or if the association is that the relationship is difficult or complex then it’s a red flag.”
If you’ve ever wondered “shouldn’t this be easier?” – this episode is for you!
The article I mentioned in the podcast is here: https://www.lionsroar.com/intimate-relationship-as-a-spiritual-crucible/ — If you’re enjoying the podcast… JOIN THE YOU LOVE AND YOU LEARN PATREON COMMUNITY FOR $7/month. — Additional resources:
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| 07 May 2024 | #70 - Healing Anxiety Through Nervous System Regulation w/ Amanda Armstrong | 00:49:49 | |
Today we’re diving into something that has a big impact on our overall mental health and wellbeing; our vagus nerve. Amanda Armstrong, neuroscience and trauma-informed anxiety & depression coach (and now AUTHOR!) is back on the podcast to help walk us through how to improve our mental health by working with our vagus nerve - the nerve that connects our brain and body, and regulates our nervous system.
Amanda has so much wisdom to share (check out episode 50 in case you have not heard that one yet) and I was very excited to bring her back for another conversation.
To order Healing the Vagus Nerve book and dive more into Amanda’s world: Order Healing the Vagus Nerve on Amazon (here) Website: https://www.riseaswe.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amandaontherise/?hl=en — If you’re enjoying the podcast… JOIN THE YOU LOVE AND YOU LEARN PATREON COMMUNITY FOR $7/month. — Additional resources:
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| 14 May 2024 | #71 - Trusting Your Intuition in Your First Serious Relationship w/ my client | 00:51:57 | |
It can be so hard to trust ourselves when there is so much relationship information and advice out there. Even well-meaning friends and family can add their two cents when sometimes, we really didn’t need it!
In this episode, I sat down with a client of mine who shares her journey of trusting her intuition in her first serious relationship. We also explore the fear of being attracted to other people and how to discern if you should listen to other people’s advice.
To get access to the “Is it Anxiety, or Intuition?” webinar that’s mentioned in the episode… JOIN THE YOU LOVE AND YOU LEARN PATREON COMMUNITY FOR $7/month. — Additional resources:
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| 21 May 2024 | #72 - Is it Normal For Healthy Love to Feel Boring? | 00:39:58 | |
Have you ever felt bored in your relationship and worried that something is wrong? Maybe you’ve wondered “is this normal, shouldn’t things feel more exciting than this?” I’ve been there, and this has been a trigger I have struggled with myself, so I wanted to explore it more. In this episode, I explore:
If you’re loving the podcast… JOIN THE YOU LOVE AND YOU LEARN PATREON COMMUNITY FOR $7/month. — Additional resources:
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| 28 May 2024 | #73 - What if I've Had Relationship Anxiety/ROCD from the Beginning | 00:18:59 | |
Common questions I am asked are “what if I never had a honeymoon phase?” and “is it bad if I’ve had relationship anxiety/ROCD from the beginning of my relationship?”
My two cents is how long we’ve had RA/ROCD is less relevant than what is contributing to the RA/ROCD…and that’s exactly what I explore in this episode! What factors may have contributed to RA/ROCD being there from the beginning, and how to move forward if this is your experience.
If you’re loving the podcast… JOIN THE YOU LOVE AND YOU LEARN PATREON COMMUNITY FOR $7/month. — Additional resources:
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| 04 Jun 2024 | #74 - Speaking Up For Your Needs in a Relationship w/ Gayane Aramyan | 00:43:08 | |
Are you clear about what your needs are in a relationship? If so, do you communicate them openly with your partner? If you answered no to either question, you’ll enjoy this conversation. Our partners cannot read our minds, especially if we are not even sure what we’re expecting in the first place, so it’s important to take time to think about these things.
To explore this, I chatted with Gayane Aramyan, a marriage and family therapist who specializes in perinatal mental health support for women and couples. She’s been with her husband for 15 years and has learned a lot along the way of how to continue to speak up for your needs (and clear out resentments) through lifes’ transitions (including becoming parents).
For more of Gayane’s work:
https://www.therapywithgayane.com/ https://www.instagram.com/therapywithgayane/ — If you’re loving the podcast… JOIN THE YOU LOVE AND YOU LEARN PATREON COMMUNITY FOR $7/month. — Additional resources:
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| 11 Jun 2024 | #75 - Healing Unworthiness: From Trauma to Self-Worth w/ Sarah Baldwin | 00:49:40 | |
This topic is LONG overdue, and that is feeling unworthy and how this affects our life and the ways we show up in our relationships. I’m thrilled to have had the chance to speak with Sarah Baldwin, who is a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner and expert in the field of trauma resolution.
We explore reasons we feel unworthy, how to become kinder to ourselves, how to reconnect with our body if we’ve been stuck up in the mind our whole life, what it means to be connected to your ‘truth,’ and more.
For more of Sarah’s work:
https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/worktogether — If you’re loving the podcast… JOIN THE YOU LOVE AND YOU LEARN PATREON COMMUNITY FOR $7/month. — Additional resources:
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| 18 Jun 2024 | #76 - A Reframe to Help Relationship Anxiety: Zooming In and Out | 00:16:53 | |
This simple reframe has helped me (and dozens of my clients) in moments of relationship anxiety: zooming in when you’re thinking too big-picture, and zooming out when you’re hyper-fixated on something in the present moment. I explain why this matters in your relationship and specific examples of zooming in and out to help manage your anxiety.
If you’re loving the podcast… JOIN THE YOU LOVE AND YOU LEARN PATREON COMMUNITY FOR $7/month. — Additional resources:
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| 25 Jun 2024 | #77 - Helpful Advice From a Divorce Lawyer | 00:30:59 | |
I was pleasantly surprised when I listened to a podcast with James Sexton, a divorce lawyer who’s seen the ups and downs of couples for 25+ years in his career and has a lot of wisdom to share from it.
Today’s episode focuses on a key thing he sees that leads to relationship breakdown: 1. Not knowing what you want or need, and 2. Not knowing how to express what you want or need. I explore different categories that it can be helpful to explore your needs in, two book recommendations to help you get started, and tips for HOW to communicate needs in a helpful way.
If you want to explore this more in private coaching…
If you’re loving the podcast… JOIN THE YOU LOVE AND YOU LEARN PATREON COMMUNITY FOR $7/month.
Books mentioned in the episode: Eight Dates by John and Julie Gottman *Amazon affiliate links — Additional resources:
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| 02 Jul 2024 | #78 - From Burnout to Balance: Cycle Syncing w/ Ash McDonald | 00:47:50 | |
his episode is a long-time coming, one I have been so excited to record and share with you because I wish more people knew this information! Menstrual cycles can have such a huge effect on how we’re showing up throughout the month, and if we don’t know what to expect…we can feel a lil’ crazy or guilty about the changes in energy, mindset, and emotions.
So I brought Ash McDonald, Therapeutic Business and Life Mentor, on the show who is someone that went through her own journey with cycle syncing after feeling burnt out during her third pregnancy and having hope that there was a better way to live her life and show up for her loved ones.
For more of Ash’s work and the Flow Lab course she mentioned in the episode:
— If you’re loving the podcast… JOIN THE YOU LOVE AND YOU LEARN PATREON COMMUNITY FOR $7/month. — Additional resources:
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| 09 Jul 2024 | #79 - Part 1: Navigating Family Dynamics: Expectations vs. Reality w/ Alexandra Schelling | 00:46:17 | |
You asked…we’re answering! Alexandra Schelling (of @toolboxforlove on Instagram) and I polled our communities for questions about navigating our significant other’s families, and we’re answering the questions in a two-part episode. Today’s episode is all about what’s happening in our OWN mind when it relates to our partner’s family. Expectation vs. reality (and the anxiety that causes), insecurities when we compare to other people’s relationships with their in-laws, and feeling triggered by specific interactions. We explore all of these topics and how to respond to them more mindfully. Stay tuned next week for part two about setting boundaries with in-laws! For more of Alexandra’s work, check out: — If you’re loving the podcast… JOIN THE YOU LOVE AND YOU LEARN PATREON COMMUNITY FOR $7/month. — Additional resources:
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| 16 Jul 2024 | #80 - Part 2: Setting Boundaries with In-Laws w/ Alexandra Schelling | 00:39:15 | |
You asked…we’re answering! Alexandra Schelling (of @toolboxforlove on Instagram) and I polled our communities for questions about navigating our significant other’s families, and we’re answering the questions in a two-part episode. Today’s episode is all about navigating relational dynamics with our partner’s family. Should we set boundaries with our partner’s family? Should they? How to navigate with family’s criticism? How to create connection with in-laws? We explore all of these topics and how to respond to them more mindfully. For more of Alexandra’s work, check out: — If you’re loving the podcast… JOIN THE YOU LOVE AND YOU LEARN PATREON COMMUNITY FOR $7/month. — Additional resources:
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| 23 Jul 2024 | #81 - Staying Grounded During Wedding Planning | 00:27:41 | |
In this episode, I share my personal journey from getting engaged (June 2023) to planning my wedding (in May 2025). Thanks to great questions from the You Love and You Learn community…I discuss:
— If you’re loving the podcast… JOIN THE YOU LOVE AND YOU LEARN PATREON COMMUNITY FOR $7/month. — Additional resources:
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| 30 Jul 2024 | #82 - How to Make Room for More Joy | 00:24:07 | |
Do you ever notice yourself feeling good, then suddenly an anxious voice pops up saying “wait, shouldn’t I be worrying about something?” or “if I don’t worry about this–how will I figure it out?”
I’ve been here, and I used to sabotage most of my good feelings by jumping straight back into worry. In this episode, I explore:
PS–be sure to join my Instagram broadcast channel lovin’ and learnin’ for the latest updates on a new exciting offering I have coming soon. — If you’re loving the podcast… JOIN THE YOU LOVE AND YOU LEARN PATREON COMMUNITY FOR $7/month. — Additional resources:
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| 06 Aug 2024 | #83 - Taking Our Partner Off The Pedestal w/ Charisse Cooke | 00:49:27 | |
I loved this conversation because time and time again this comes up in the work I do with clients (and it was a pattern in my own relationship). I sat down with Charisse Cooke, who is a London-based relationship psychotherapist with over 20 years experience. She helps individuals, couples and groups develop relationship skills and define love in a way that has meaning for them.
In this episode we discuss:
…and more. For more of Charisse’s work, check out: Her Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/charissecooke/ Her website: www.charissecooke.com — If you’re loving the podcast… JOIN THE YOU LOVE AND YOU LEARN PATREON COMMUNITY FOR $7/month. — Additional resources:
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| 13 Aug 2024 | #84 - Why We Sabotage Healthy Relationships w/ Dr. Morgan Anderson | 00:38:47 | |
If you have ever felt like your healthy relationship is boring and the “vibes are off” – this episode is for you! I sat down with Dr. Morgan Anderson, a clinical psychologist, relationship coach, and host of the “Let’s Get Vulnerable” podcast.
In this episode we discuss:
…and more. For more of Morgan’s work, check out: Her Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmorgancoaching/ Her free resource: Www.drmorgancoaching.com/gift — If you’re loving the podcast… JOIN THE YOU LOVE AND YOU LEARN PATREON COMMUNITY FOR $7/month. — Additional resources:
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| 20 Aug 2024 | #85 - How to Help Someone w/ Relationship Anxiety + ROCD | 00:31:16 | |
If you are the partner of someone with relationship anxiety, this episode is for you.
If you have relationship anxiety and want to be able to ask your partner for more intentional support, this episode is for you!
Thank you to the help of the You Love and You Learn community on Instagram for this episode. I received dozens of answers to the question “how does your partner help you navigate relationship anxiety?” to influence this episode.
I cover:
…and more
PS–the Relationship Anxiety Toolkit is LIVE! You can get it here. — Additional resources:
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| 27 Aug 2024 | #86 - The Realities of Healing Relationship Anxiety | 00:21:14 | |
Have you ever felt like you were not going “fast enough” in your journey to heal relationship anxiety or ROCD? Maybe you’ve seen other people share their wins and felt like you’re just not getting it. It’s easy to beat ourselves up when we compare to other people’s highlight reels–but today I am peeling back the curtain of what healing relationship anxiety actually looks like.
Get the Relationship Anxiety Toolkit here! — Montage Fallacy article by Herbert Lui Additional resources:
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| 03 Sep 2024 | #87 - Why You’re Triggered by Your Partner w/ Thais Gibson | 00:48:12 | |
You are in for a TREAT with this episode, which truly felt like a therapy session for me. I sat down with Thais Gibson who has over a decade working as a practitioner and specializes in blending attachment theory, psychology, and subconscious reprogramming.
We discuss what Thais refers to as the “relationship shadow” and explore why our partners can be so dang triggering (it’s not what you think!) and how to navigate these triggers more mindfully.
For more about Thais, check out:
Website: https://university.personaldevelopmentschool.com/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool
Learning Love book: https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/learning-love
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/ — Additional resources:
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| 10 Sep 2024 | #88 - Healing From the Inside Out w/ Alison Seponara | 00:49:34 | |
This episode focuses on healing anxiety from the inside out. And who better to speak to than Alison Seponara – therapist, anxiety educator, holistic healer, and author who specializes in helping others create their own holistic anxiety healing toolkit!
Anxiety can come from many different pillars of our life; our friendships, our physical health and wellbeing, our relational attachment dynamics, our mental patterns, and so much more. Alison and I cover each of these topics and offer bite-sized tips to healing anxiety.
For more of Alison’s work:
– Additional resources:
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| 17 Sep 2024 | #89 - 5 Tips When You Feel Disconnected From Your Partner | 00:34:13 | |
It can feel so painful to be disconnected from your partner. I get it, because I’ve had a few of these moments myself recently! Let’s talk about it.
In this episode, I share:
– Additional resources:
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| 24 Sep 2024 | #90 - Embracing a Partner Who’s Different From You w/ Chelsea Horton | 00:36:50 | |
In this episode, Chelsea and I dive into the idea that true relationship strength often comes from embracing differences rather than being exactly the same.
We cover:
…and more
For more of Chelsea’s work
Website: www.healingembodied.com IG & TikTok: @healing.embodied
– Additional resources:
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| 01 Oct 2024 | #91 - When You Want to Stay in Your Relationship, But Wish Things Were Better | 00:25:33 | |
I’ve never done this before, but today I am bringing you a training from my Patreon membership to the podcast to show you a peek into the types of trainings we have every month!
This month’s topic: wanting to stay in your relationship, but knowing you want things to be better or different, too.
If you want to dive into a library of trainings like this, and connect with 300+ others on a journey to become more secure… Join the You Love and You Learn Patreon community – Additional resources: | |||
| 08 Oct 2024 | #92 - A New Mindset Towards Anxiety | 00:16:54 | |
In this episode, I explore the common struggle of wanting anxiety to disappear and how this often makes the anxiety feel even stronger. Many people ask, “Why is my anxiety still here even after I’ve tried all the tools?” – let's discuss a helpful shift in mindset that can transform your relationship with it. I cover:
…and more! – Additional resources:
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| 15 Oct 2024 | #93 - Why Lowering the Bar May Actually Be a (Really) Good Thing w/ MJ Mayes | 00:43:53 | |
In this episode, MJ and I discuss why lowering the bar in your life and relationship might actually be a good thing. No, this isn’t about settling or letting go of standards. It’s about moving forward without beating yourself up for every imperfection along the way, and taking small intentional actions instead of waiting for everything to perfectly line up before you can move forward.
This is the permission slip I’ve needed for so many years, and I know it will feel like a breath of fresh air!
For more of MJ’s work:
– Additional resources: | |||
| 22 Oct 2024 | #94 - Why You’re Unhappy, and What Can Make You Happier w/ Stephanie Harrison | 00:48:50 | |
Does it feel like you’re doing all the ‘right’ things but you’re still not happy? Does it feel like everyone around you seems to be happier than you, and you feel so guilty about it?
What if this wasn’t a flaw or something you’re doing wrong – and we have been getting happiness wrong all along? In this episode, I sat down with Stephanie Harrison of @newhappyco to explore what happiness is and isn’t, and how we can take small steps to become more happy and fulfilled in our lives.
For more of Stephanie and New Happy, check out: www.thenewhappy.com
– Additional resources: | |||
| 29 Oct 2024 | #95 - "When You Know, You Know" | 00:47:55 | |
In this episode, I unpack the phrase “when you know you know” and how I used to take this phrase very literally, which caused a lot of anxiety and pressure on me. I deconstruct what it actually means to ‘know’ something or have ‘knowledge’, as well as the characteristics of someone who is more likely to ‘know’ something within their relationship or life. If you’ve ever heard someone say they “just knew” their partner was the one and felt crappy about it (“what do they know, and how do they know it?!”) – this episode is for you! Additional resources: | |||
| 05 Nov 2024 | #96 - Signs of an Abusive Relationship w/ Dr. Molly Burrets | 00:47:10 | |
This is a long overdue episode to explore signs of what an abusive relationship is and isn’t. I often give the disclaimer “my work does not apply to abusive relationships” and wanted to have a licensed therapist explain the types of abuse so people are aware.
And who better than Dr. Molly Burrets, a licensed clinical psychologist based in Los Angeles with 15 years of experience practicing psychotherapy, conducting research, and teaching at the undergraduate and graduate levels.
In the episode, we mentioned resources for people experiencing abuse in an intimate relationship:
Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network (RAINN) – 800.656.HOPE (4673)
National Domestic Violence Hotline – 800.799.SAFE (7233), 800.787.3224 TDD
Books:
The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize It and How to Respond by Patricia Evans
The Dance of Anger: A Woman’s Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships by Harriet Lerner
The Emotionally Abused Woman: Overcoming Destructive Patterns and Reclaiming Yourself by Beverly Engel
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk
For more of Molly’s work, check out: www.instagram.com/drmollyburrets
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| 12 Nov 2024 | #97 - My Recurring Relationship Anxiety ‘Theme’ | 00:24:59 | |
Over the years, there is a recurring ‘theme’ that brings up discomfort for me within my relationship, and that is when things feel boring or mundane. It used to really freak me out, and I would jump to thinking I had to go find a more exciting partner or relationship.
I still have these moments of judging the boredom, but when I pause to reflect further, I see things a little differently now: as a chance to pour into my life more intentionally, vs. placing the relationship or Nate on a pedestal.
In this episode, I explore how I am setting intentions this winter to intentionally show up for myself and nurture 3 key areas:
These are 3 key areas that Robert Johnson shares in his book (We: Understanding the Psychology of Romantic Love) to take the projection off our partner to complete us and make us whole. Excited to share this with you so you can take the time to reflect on these key areas, too!
Additional resources: | |||
| 19 Nov 2024 | #98 - Uncovering Inner Peace w/ Lily Sais of @peacefromwithin | 00:50:02 | |
In this episode, I sit down with Lily Sais, a former school psychologist turned registered Three Principles practitioner, whose journey has taken her from anxiety to a place of peace. Lily is passionate about helping others uncover the peace that already lies within them, beneath anxious thoughts (the peace that already lies within…LOVE!)
We cover:
…and more!
For more of Lily’s work: https://www.peace-from-within.com/pfwcommunity https://www.instagram.com/_peacefromwithin/
Additional resources: | |||
| 26 Nov 2024 | #99 - Lessons from Being in Limbo w/ Ela Topcuoglu | 00:41:42 | |
In this episode I am back with past guest, Ela Topcuoglu, who is a Life Transition Coach that helps us intentionally move through life’s big milestone moments (that can often be challenging for someone with anxiety). Things like moving in together, getting engaged, a breakup, changing jobs, or looking ahead to marriage. One stage of transitions in particular, the limbo stage (in between the old life and the new) can be particularly uncomfortable and confusing, so Ela is back to explore:
If you’ve ever felt stuck between where you were and where you’re going, this episode is for you! For more of Ela’s work: Additional resources: | |||
| 03 Dec 2024 | #100 - The Love We’ve Learned from 100(!!) Episodes | 00:40:01 | |
I can’t believe we’re already at episode 100 of this podcast! After sitting down with 50 guests, there were many lessons learned about love that I wanted to recap and share–so I went back and listened to the final question I ask all guests; “what is one thing you have learned about love that you want to leave listeners with?”
I found that there were 7 key categories of these lessons, so I went more into depth about each one and am sharing the key ideas from my wise guests over the last couple years.
The 7 key categories were:
To those who have listened to the podcast–THANK YOU!! Cheers to the next 100 episodes.
Additional resources:
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