We Gotta Thing - A Swinger Podcast (Mr & Mrs Jones's Swinging Adventures)

It's not a secret that engaging in the lifestyle can be expensive! In this episode we discuss budgeting tips for your lifestyle adventures and why we prioritize spending money on us as an investment in our relationship.

Keeping up with the Joneses
A lifestyle "happy hour" with "sexy" lifestyle friends, an intimate conversation with "new" lifestyle friends and we share some playtime with "old" lifestyle friends, and a very fun evening with some "podcasting" friends.

Discussion topic
We made mistakes early in our lifestyle journey by not understanding how to make rules.  We've split "rule making" into two categories: "rules" to protect your relationship and should not be broken and "boundaries" which are more flexible and allow for healthy growth.

Snapshots
Two listeners share snapshots about making and breaking rules and boundaries while Mrs Jones and I share two of our sexy encounters from this past month.

Being vulnerable is not easy and may not come natural for some, espcially when exploring the lifestyle. We tend to wall off our personal lives because we're worried about people knowing too much about us. We don't want to be known. We're here just to have some sexy fun, right?

In this episode we talk about how being vulnerable has led to some amazing friendships as well as a lot of sexy fun with people who care. The more we share the more we gain confidence, become more attractive to others and most importantly discover our authentic selves!

Join our community and download our brand new WGT app here!

Listen in on our conversation with a resort full of imperfect but beautiful ladies! The ladies of Desire discuss what they've had to realize and overcome in order to enjoy and grow into the lifestyle. Along the way the are discovering real transformation both in themselves and in relationships with their partners.

Discussion Topic: Setting expectations is something we (and many couples) struggle with in the lifestyle.  With expectations usually comes disappointment.  Disappointment can lead to leaving the lifestyle or stir up negative emotions and feelings about yourselves.  We discuss how we TRY to manage our interactions with others and share some tips we hope will help you do the same. Good luck!

Join us as we discuss the topic of jealousy and other emotions from our own experience as we entered the lifestyle.

Discussion Topic: Way back on WGT Episode 3 we discussed Mr Jones's struggle with jealousy when we entered the lifestyle. In this episode we welcome Catherine, a licensed professional counselor AND swinger!  She breaks down jealousy: what it is, how to prepare for it, what it feels like, how to identify it, how to work through it and come out of it stronger as a couple.

You can reach Catherine by email at expansiveconnection@gmail.com or on her website: www.expansiveconnection.com

Resources Mentioned: 
The Ethical Slut by Janet Hardy
The Jealousy Workbook: Exercises and Insights for Managing Open Relationships by Kathy Labriola
Numerous books by Brene Brown
Vulnerability TED Talk by Brene Brown

You're awake again at 3:00am. You can't go back to sleep. You calculate how much sleep you'll have if you go back to sleep right now. Then, while staring at the ceiling, a voice inside your head decides to make up a (absolutely truthful and believable) story about a missed opportunity with another couple and why they aren't responding to your messages to meet again....

Sound familiar? In this episode Meshai from Expansive Connection helps us to understand where that voice is coming from, how to recognize the lack of logic in that voice and how to redirect the conversation to something more logical and accurate. Also, you are not the only one experiencing these very convincing voices!

Learn more about Expansive Connection coaching services on their website and while you're there be sure to subscribe to their newsletter!

Many couples ask about how to 'successfully' navigate a clothing optional resort. How do we find couples like us? How do we socialize with others without them thinking it's an invitation to play? How do we let couples down if we don't want to play? How do we interact with couples the day after we play?

Listen in as we discuss our own experiences and how we see others managing this very common dilemma. 

This month we discuss why other couples reject us when reaching out from a lifestyle dating site and how to improve our chances of success in the future.

This episode complements our episode 62 "Putting Yourself Out There - Lifestyle Profiles 2.0" and our blog post on the same topic titled "Our First Online Couple Profile."

We discuss identifying red flags in other couples and how to respond when you see them. We also talk about red flags that pop up within your own relationship and how, if left unresolved can lead to you becoming a red flag to other couples. Listen in as we work through one of our own red flags!

Chris and Nancy share their amazing and unique story of finding the lifestyle through a period of intense emotional exploration after being together for more than 20 years. We've learned that no relationship journey into the lifestyle is the same but we so all experience our own twists and turns. We hope you enjoy listening to them tell their story!

Discussion Topic: In this episode we celebrate the milestone of reaching 50 episodes by reflecting on our lifestyle journey thus far. We are learning a lot and having a loads of fun but it's the people we meet and the growth in our relationship that are most valuable.

Care to join us?
Our new We Gotta Thing Members Only Subscription
Our Navigating Your Lifestyle Journey online course
Our new We Gotta Thing website
Email: mrjones@wegottathing.com
Email: mrsjones@wegottathing.com
Follow us on Twitter

Listen in as our event guests discuss working through their individual fears, anxieties and challenges at a clothing optional resort during our week together at Desire Pearl Resort just south of Cancun, Mexico.

Keeping up with The Joneses- Changes to our music format; Email us!!; Playtime at home
Discussion Topic- Mr Jones interviews Mrs Jones about the past year in the lifestyle
Snapshots- We share ours and two special snapshots from listeners!

Mentioned in this episode
Jim and Jen from The Hidden Swing

Music licensed through BMI
Me & Mrs Jones- Billy Paul

Contact us
Email us at wegottathing@gmail.com
Follow us on Twitter @wegottathing

Discussion Topic
In this bonus episode we discuss an issue that most couples will face, one way or another, during their journey through the lifestyle.  Jay and Kay from "That Couple Next Door" podcast join us to discuss a performance anxiety issue the four of us encountered when playing together.  This issue is pervasive and can be discouraging but fear not, with the right approach: good communication, self-reflection and re-testing it can be resolved for the best!

Boy, do we have a lot to talk about this month.......

Keeping up with The Joneses- A dinner and a "hot" hot tub date;  a night out in Miami; the dreaded vanilla cruise; an awesome house party..

Discussion Topic- Our thoughts on CatalystCon- a conference described as a "melting pot of sexuality"

Snapshots- Mrs Jones finds a good use for both hands and Mr Jones gets an eyeful....

Listeners Q&A- Do we think we could just "pull the plug" on the lifestyle and be happy?

Mentioned in this episode:

Catalyst Con East 2015

The Curious Couple for the Curious Ear

Dr Zhana Vrangalova

The Private Gym

Life on the Swingset- Live at CatalystCon East

Ending the Sexual Dark Age- Live at CatalystCon East

Music licensed through BMI:

Me & Mrs Jones- Billy Paul

I'm in Miami Bitch- LMFAO

Picture- Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow

Mr Jones- Counting Crows

This month's question: Could you and your partner  pull the plug on the lifestyle and be happy?  Let us know at wegottathing@gmail.com

Listen in as our guests share their Desire Pearl 2021 snapshots in a recorded-live conversation from the resort! Some are thoughtful and meaningful, some are sexy and others are downright hilarious! Oh, and we share ours as well...

Our new 'What's Your Thing?' sexy and smart card game is now available!

Here is our updated Naughty Stockings list just in time for the holiday shopping season (or any season really)...

New Relationship Energy (NRE) is that sexual buzz we feel when we first meet and connect with a couple or individual. We discuss navigating this heightened state of emotional and sexual feelings by processing it, understanding it, keeping it in perspective and responding to it in a healthy  way.

NRE can feel scary and risky but we believe if it's understood and managed well it can provide a super charged experience and be very meaningful (and a whole lot of fun) for all involved.

We sit down with four of our lifestyle friends and share real stories about what it's like to experience hurt feelings during an event and how to dissect, debrief, discover and confront the root cause of the issue.

As much as it hurts sometimes, we discuss why we think it's important to work through the issues together in order to experience personal growth and strengthen our relationships.

Keeping up with the Joneses
After a bit of a rant from Mr Jones, we chat about a local date with a new couple that didn't go as well as we would've liked.

Topic
We talk about our week in paradise! After 14 months we finally get back to Desire Pearl and talk about meeting some amazing new friends, experiencing some play time with sexy couples and of course a lesson learned (or two).

Snapshots
Two sexy stories from a couple we had some fun with at Pearl and two from us as well.

Discussion Topic: In Part 2 of our judgment series we are joined by our "much younger friends" to talk about how age factors in to meeting, connecting and even playing with couples who are much older or younger. We also break down age related stereotypes in the lifestyle. Is age truly just a number?

The New Monogamy- Redefining Your Relationship after Infidelity by Tammy Nelson

Join our members only community!

We discuss four distinct behaviors we consider to be deal breakers to moving forward and possibly making new lifestyle friends and connecting with potential play partners.

1. Sharing opinions on politics, religion or other emotionally charged topics
2. Being closed minded or  judgmental toward others
3. Being 'tone deaf,' or not being able to read the room
4. Trying too hard to make something happen

What do you think? What behaviors do you consider to be deal breakers?

Discussion Topic: Mrs Jones is joined live by "C" from the Swinging Downunder podcast to discuss what the two ladies believe men need to know and understand to be successful in the swinging lifestyle.

Mentioned this Episode:
The Swinging Downunder podcast
Our brand new We Gotta Thing website
Our new "Members Only" subscription
Our online Lifestyle Course

Listen in as our friends Mark and Beth share their unique journey into and exploration of non-monogamy! We also review our Virgin Cruise out of Barcelona and discuss our first local lifestyle meet and greet since our big move south.

Discussion Topic: The swinging lifestyle is a place we go to grow our relationship.  But to experience any kind of personal or relationship growth we must step out of and beyond our comfort zones. Listen as we discuss the topic ourselves and then hear similar thoughts from others in a session we recorded with Swinging Downunder on our latest trip to Desire Pearl Resort in Cancun, Mexico.

Less than 10 rooms remain! Travel with us to Desire Pearl the week of November 16-23, 2019!  Book your trip here.

Join our Members Only Community

Listen to the Swinging Downunder podcast

Read our latest newsletter here and then Subscribe to our newsletter here!

Keeping up with the Joneses
We recap the highlights of our experiences at Naughty in N'awlins 2017!  Our WGT Meet & Greet and workshops were amazing, we were runner-ups again at the Annual Lifestyle Awards for Best Lifestyle Podcast.

Discussion topic
We hear from many listeners how difficult it is to find that "four-way connection" with other lifestyle couples.  We break down the issue and offer insights into what works and doesn't work for us. Oh, and we share how we screwed up at NiN (the Joneses are not perfect).

A special thanks to Ike Thomas for writing our transition song to snapshots and the ending of our show!  Ike's latest work is an acoustic album with the Irreverent Reverends called "Songs for Andreas" and can be found on iTunes and Spotify.

Visit our website for more information about the Joneses!

As we are mired in the current pandemic many of us are being pulled back away from our social and sexual mindsets. When we are concerned about our jobs, our children, our families and our health we need to be deliberate to ensure our relationships and our sexuality is a priority!

We discuss the difficulty of resolving the tension between who we are wired to be as humans and who we are trained to be by society.

Mentioned in this episode:
Brene Brown Unlocking Us Podcast
Casual Toys store
We Gotta Thing website

We hear story after story about the difficulties many (and mostly newer) couples in the lifestyle experience when encountering 'cliques' while attending events, visiting clubs or attending parties or meet and greets.

Are they really cliques or could it be our perception of others based on things we observe or the feelings we experience at such events? Will they really reject us or ignore us if we have the courage to approach them or could this a predisposed fear of rejection?

Join us as we dig deeper into what cliques really are and how to manage and navigate groups in an unfamiliar and sexually charged environment.

Discussion Topic: Using Stephen Covey's Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, we align how those same habits can make you successful as a couple in the swinging lifestyle.

Travel with us to Desire Pearl the week of November 16-23, 2019!  Book your trip here.

Join our Members Only community here!

Keeping up with the Joneses
We discuss our evening with J and K from the That Couple Next Door podcast and we thank you, our listeners for voting for us and making We Gotta Thing a finalist in the Annual Lifestyle Awards ceremony at Naught in N'awlins.

Discussion topic
Not much of a lesson in this episode- we talk about all the hot, fun and sexy times we had at Naughty in N'awlins 2016!  Our Meet and Greet was amazing, we met so many lifestyle podcasters, listeners, new swinger friends and reconnected with "old" friends too.

Snapshots
Of course we both share sexy snapshots from NiN!

Contact us
Mr Jones's email- mrjones@wegottathing.com
Mrs Jones's email- mrsjones@wegottathing.com
Twitter- @wegottathing
Website- wegottathing.com

Music licensed by BMI
Me and Mrs Jones- Billy Paul

Listen in to our conversation about whether or not it's the right time for us to move from soft swap to full!

Join our conversation with Bomber and The Belle from the Black & Kinky Podcast as we discuss the issue of race in the lifestyle today. As a black couple they share their perspective, experience, opinions and challenges around meeting and connecting with those of a different race.

In this episode we discuss the issue of 'Kissing and Telling' in the lifestyle. How do you feel about couples sharing personal details about a private play experience? Do you share details with others to include the names of your play partners? Is there ever a good reason to Kiss and Tell? Listen in as we discuss our opinions in the matter!

Discussion Topic- Connecting with your play partner while trying to maintain a connection with your own partner is a balancing act many find difficult to achieve.  This month we discuss the challenge of and some helpful tips for staying connected as a couple during playtime with others.

Online Lifestyle Course Relaunch- we are excited to announce the following major changes and additions to our course products:

Base price reduction on our Community and Premier level courses
A new a la carte menu allows you to purchase the individual course   modules of your choice
Reserve private video conferencing sessions with Mr and Mrs Jones
New $99 mini-courses designed by topic
We now also accept payment via PayPal
We offer 12 month payment installment options for the Community and Premier courses
All products come with access to our private and secure members only forum
Explore and purchase at our Navigating Your Lifestyle Journey store!

Having experienced counseling ourselves over the past few months, we invite Catherine from Expansive Connection to talk with us about how those in non-monogamous relationships benefit from getting guidance from professionals. Also, we share some exciting news about the future of the We Gotta Thing podcast! 

Keeping up with the Joneses- Goodbye Paige and Penn, Halloween party, dinner dates (good and bad) and good friends

Discussion Topic- Emotional monogamy and sexual non-monogamy

Snapshots- Special guests (HINT: Swinger Diaries) and our own hot memories

New Swinger Podcasts

The Aussie Swingers

Swinging Downunder

LnK Swinging Adventures

Shameless Adventures

Two or More to Tango

Swinger Podcast

Contact us!

Email- wegottathing@gmail.com

Website- wegottathing.com

Twitter- @wegottathing

Music licensed through BMI

Me & Mrs Jones- Billy Paul

In this episode we discuss what "chemistry" in the lifestyle means to us and how it's different from attraction.  Is chemistry between others instantaneous? Can chemistry with others fade over time? How is chemistry with lifestyle friends different from the chemistry between me and my spouse or partner? Listen in for our answers to these questions and hear a couple of sexy snapshots from us and some listeners!

Join our We Gotta Thing members only community

Visit our website and learn more about our upcoming WGT events

Keeping up with the Joneses- Another spectacular house party, a visit by our Florida friends, fun at a Meet & Greet and dinner with a special listener
Discussion Topic- Here's what Mr & Mrs Jones from today would tell Mr & Mrs Jones from 18 months ago about their future lifestyle journey if we could travel back in time!
Snapshots- We share ours and two more from our listeners

Contact Us!
Email- wegottathing@gmail.com
Website- wegottathing.com
Twitter- @wegottathing

Music licenses through BMI
Me & Mrs Jones- Billy Paul

Not only does real life often get in the way of engaging in the lifestyle, but simply staying sexually connected as a couple is a struggle. Add a global pandemic to the mix and you have the perfect storm of events that make this struggle almost impossible to avoid.

In this episode we really don't have solutions to the issue, we simply share where we are in this so that as a couple you know you are not alone.

Meshai from Expansive Connection Coaching joins us as we dive into the topic of being rejected in the lifestyle. We all experience the negative emotions when rejected by others and Meshai helps us to understand why we feel this way and how to process and respond to these feelings.

Announcing our special project
Mrs Jones and I are developing an online lifestyle course called Navigating Your Lifestyle Journey to be released in December 2017! We've created 6 modules and over 30 lessons to help you move into the through the lifestyle while having fun, growing your relationship and avoiding the pitfalls and mistakes.  For more information please check out our website or send us an email at mrjones@wegottathing.com.

Discussion Topic
As we prepare for our first group trip to Desire, we discuss the seven deadly mistakes to avoid when attending a lifestyle resort, hotel takeover, meet & greet or any other large swinger event.  Why are we experts? Because we've made all seven mistakes ourselves!

Our New Online Lifestyle Course is Live!
Our new online lifestyle course called Navigating Your Lifestyle Journey is now available! We've created 6 modules and over 40 lessons to help you move into the through the lifestyle while having fun, growing your relationship and avoiding the pitfalls and mistakes. For more information and to purchase visit our new course website or send us an email at mrjones@wegottathing.com.

Discussion Topic
We contrast the sexy, fun, respectful, open and honest (for the most part) people we meet in the lifestyle to the current workplace culture of sexual harassment and assault.

As we all focus on staying well during this pandemic we thought it a good time to talk about a few health related issues and how they impact our lifestyle journey.

"Mr Night" is a certified Family Nurse Practitioner of 20 years and is also a certified Bio-identical Hormone Replacement Specialist. He and his wife "Mrs Night" are also in the lifestyle and join us to discuss how diet, exercise, hormones and supplements can be used to proactively manage our health as we age.

Questions for "Mr Night" can be sent to us through our We Gotta Thing website.

To learn more about hormone replacement and how to find a reputable provider visit worldlinkmedical.com

This bonus episode 13 part 2 was originally posted on the Swinger Diaries podcast in August 2015.  Swinger Diaries is no longer podcasting so we are posting this episode to complete the story of our time together as podcasters at Naughty in 'Nawlins 2015!

All previously released Swinger Diaries podcast episodes can be requested on their website!

Keeping up with the Joneses
"Friends" from out of town drop by for a few sexy encounters and we chat about the half-marathon that almost happened.

Discussion topic
We break down lifestyle friendships and what they might look like.  We categorize friendships into four types: Community, Casual, Close and Core to help put some perspective on expectations for making Friends With Benefits in the lifestyle.

Snapshots
Mr Jones enjoys watching a friend give Mrs Jones a good tongue lashing on the massage table while Mrs Jones recollects a hot make out session.

Mentioned
Please sign up here if you're interested in attending our Meet & Greet at Naughty in N'awlins this summer! Find the "dumb" card game here!

Special Episode!
In this episode we are joined by Paige and Penn from Swinger Diaries and we all discuss our hot, sexy and fun times together at Naughty in N'awlins! Catch part 2 of this episode on their Swinger Diaries podcast episode 19!

Music Licensed through BMI
Me & Mrs Jones- Billy Paul
Mr Jones- Counting Crows

Contact Us!
Email- Wegottathing@gmail.com
Twitter- @wegottathing

Keeping up with The Joneses- Why yes, we do know George!
Discussion Topic- Who are you? Who are we? Our experience with swinger date site profiles.
Snapshots- Mrs Jones- Dirty dancing in a vanilla disco;
                   Mr Jones- so THAT'S what dirty dancing is...

Thoughts and comments from our listeners- All the way from Sydney, Australia

Mentioned in this episode:
Do You Know George?
Dr Zhana's Swinger Party Survey
Naughty in N'awlins
iTunes Review

Coming to Naughty in N'awllins? Email us at wegottathing@gmail.com

Do you struggle with if, when and how to tell other couples you're not interested in meeting? What about after you've played and you've lost interest? What if they ask you why you aren't interested?

What if you are the recipient of a 'let down' message? Do you want to know why or would you rather just move on to the next couple? Does the sting of rejection ever get easier?

We invite you to listen in as we discuss this topic from both sides!

Keeping up with the Joneses
Afternoon delight with good friends, Mr and Mrs Jones's reconnection time,  Dan Savage's Humpfest and why you shouldn't drink beer all day before running a half-marathon.

Discussion Topic
We talk about when and how to talk to your partner about trying the swinging lifestyle.

Snapshots
Mr Jones describes watching the purple double-ended dildo disappear and Mrs Jones shares a naughty look with Mr Jones.

Mentioned in this episode
Dan Savage's "Humpfest"
The Desire Forum
That Couple Next Door podcast

Contact us
Mr Jones's email- mrjones@wegottathing.com
Mrs Jones's email- mrsjones@wegottathing.com
Twitter- @wegottathing
Website- wegottathing.com

Music licensed by BMI
Me and Mrs Jones- Billy Paul

Keeping up with The Joneses- Sexy times with special friends and a hot night for just us two!
Discussion Topic- We talk about how we reconcile our Christian faith with our lifestyle journey.
Snapshots- Mrs Jones shares a “mouth full”; an awesome four-way connection and two listener snapshots.

Our 2016 travel plans:
Do You Know George?- February 12-15
Vanilla Cruise- March 26- April 2
Naughty in N’awlins 2016- July 6-10
Desire Pearl Resort- August 13-21

Contact Us:
Email- wegottathing@gmail.com
Twitter- @wegottathing
Website- wegottathing.com

Music licensed through BMI:
Me & Mrs Jones- Billy Paul

Keeping up with the Joneses
Our new website is live! Come take a look at wegottathing.com and let us know what you think.  We also share what sexy things we've been up to this month to include pushing a boundary by playing on the first date, enjoying our "Southwest Friends" again (in a sexy way) and a couple of other dinner dates.
 
Discussion topic
We've received a couple of critical emails lately from listeners who say we "only play with attractive couples" and that the lifestyle environment we describe is "nothing like what we  normally see".  We break down the idea of what attractiveness means to us both, who we are attracted to and how attractive we see ourselves.  Attractiveness is a subjective word and we hope to better explain what it means to us and ask you to do the same.

Snapshots
Mr Jones loves the "dirty talk" while Mrs Jones participates in a very sexy triple-blow-job (yes, they do exist)!

Fearing or experiencing jealousy is one of the biggest reasons couples either don't try the lifestyle or don't last in the lifestyle. Why is that? It's more complex than we realize! Join us as Catherine from Expansive Connection Coaching helps us to understand the many flavors of jealousy to include envy, comparison, performance insecurities, fear of abandonment and many more.

Download the complete list of the flavors of jealousy here!

Keeping up with The Joneses- A dinner party, a house party and an apartment party
Discussion Topic- Our Naughty in N'awlins experience
Snsapshots- Side by side service and the ponytail holder

Mentioned in this episode
Naugthy in N'awlins
pLink Floyd
Colette Club

Podcasters at NiN
Swinger Diaries
Swingercast
Swap Fu
Two or More to Tango
Average Swingers
Bliss Bringers

Music licensed through BMI
Me & Mrs Jones- Billy Paul
Scream and Shout- Brittany Spears/Will.i.am
Mr Jones- Counting Crows

Contact us:
Email- wegottathing@gmail.com
Follow us on Twitter- @wegottathing

Discussion topic: We often focus on rules and guidelines "inside the bedroom" but in this episode we discuss what we consider to be the golden rules of the lifestyle outside of the bedroom. The importance of Confidentiality, Respect and Honesty with ourselves and others should seem evident but in a sex-charged environment they can be easily overlooked and forgotten.

Keeping up with the Joneses
A vanilla race weekend, a hot quickie with good friends before vacation, sexy fun with the Sapphic Swingers, a trip to Trapeze Club in Fort Lauderdale and a weekend double-header.

Discussion topic
We talk about how our "vanilla cruise" helped us to redefine the lifestyle as a way of living a sexy life full of fun and not just swinging (although that's fun too)!

Snapshots
Mrs Jones dancing with a bunch of sexy guys and Mr Jones at a nude beach with three HOT chicks!

Mentioned in this episode
The Sapphic Swingers- with Rachel and Tiffany
Trapeze Club- Fort Lauderdale

Contact us
Email- mrjones@wegottathing.com
mrsjones@wegottathing.com
Website- wegottathing.com
Twitter- @wegottathing

Music licensed by BMI
Me & Mrs Jones- Billy Paul

Discussion Topic
In this episode we discuss the difference between being courageous and being confident as you enter and navigate the swinging lifestyle. Many people say "just be confident" and you'll be fine.  But is that enough to be helpful?  We offer tips to help you understand the difference and how being courageous leads to being a more confident person and couple in the swinging lifestyle.  Confidence is sexy!

Keeping up with The Joneses- Desire Pearl: The Resort
Discussion Topic- Desire Pearl: The Experience
Snapshots- Sex fort orgasm and caught red-handed

Mentioned in this episode
Desire Pearl
Naughty in N'awlins
Annual Lifestyle Awards

Music Licensed by BMI
Me & Mrs Jones- Billy Paul
Desire- Andy Gibb
Stays in Mexico- Toby Keith
Mr Jones- Counting Crows

Contact us
Email- wegottathing@gmail.com
Twitter- @wegottathing

What is trust not? Trust is not a feeling that someone else creates in us with their actions.

Some of us think we can trust people only when they are doing what we want them to do so we don't feel uncomfortable things we don't want to feel. Additionally, trust is not using other people as our emotional security blankets.

Our brains love predictability and safety so when someone doesn't behave in the ways we want them to we can feel unsafe, or in others words, we may 'freak out' a bit!

Kel from Expansive Connection joins Mr Jones this episode to help us understand what trust is, what trust is not, and how to work through what appear to be trust issues with your partner.

Resources:

Discussion Topic: We share sexy stories from our trip to Desire Pearl and discuss the benefits and drawbacks of sexual play with newbies and veteran couples in the swinging lifestyle. Spoiler alert: we enjoy both!

Mentioned this episode:
Join our We Gotta Thing private members only group
Listen to our podcast with the Spiritual Swingers
Desire Pearl Resort in Cancun, Mexico

Kel from Expansive Connection coaching joins us to discuss some of the benefits and challenges one may encounter when choosing to explore the non-monogamous lifestyle. Kel shares from her perspective of being a certified relationship coach and also from her experience being non-monogamous with her partner.

Resources mentioned:

We Gotta Thing podcast episode 33: "How the Lifestyle Strengthens our Relationship"

We Gotta Thing podcast episode 41: "A Licensed Counselor (and swinger) Breaks Down Jealousy"

Sex and Psychology by Justin Lehmiller- podcast episode 215: "Dealing in Differences in Relationships"

When first considering reasons for entering the lifestyle making lifelong friends is not normally the goal. But after getting used to connecting with people and having some sexy playtimes we begin to realize how 'human' our lifestyle friends are and how these friendships are sometimes deeper, more meaningful and more real than any we've had before.

We talk about our pathway to discovering our tribe in the lifestyle and just how special some of these friendships have become!

Listen in on our live recording from Desire Pearl where our guests discuss their unique perspectives, perceptions and realities of the term 'clothing optional.' Most of us struggle with self-confidence and have body-image issues so the idea of being naked in front of others can cause anxiety and fear. After hearing stories from other 'real people' we can better understand what it's all about and how it can help us discover and grow into our real selves. Being naked is a good thing!

Discussion Topic- In this episode we discuss how we see the lifestyle bumping up against real life.  Personally we are becoming more "out" as swingers, more and more mainstream media is reporting on swinging and the lifestyle community seems to be growing rapidly.  What does this all mean? Listen in to find out!

Mentioned in this episode:
Our online lifestyle course- Navigating Your Lifestyle Journey
The Joneses Interview- Leading Questions w/Calvin Moore Podcast
Swinger Diaries Interview- The Together Podcast
Swinging Downunder Interview- Share a Slice with Sean Podcast
GQ Magazine Article: Inside the Clothing-Optional Resort of Your Swinging Dreams
Prevention Magazine Article: I Took My Husband to a Clothing Optional Resort and Here's What Happened
Maxim Magazine Articles: Welcome to One of the Raunchiest Party Spots on the Planet and Welcome to the World's Kinkiest Cruise Line
The Today Show with Megyn Kelly: Are Non-monogamous Relationships on the Rise?

Please join us in celebrating 10 years recording the We Gotta Thing podcast! This is a very special episode recorded live with a group of our closest friends at the Desire Pearl resort. We thank all of our listeners and community members for the steadfast support and look forward to recording many more episodes in the years to come! Cheers!

Keeping up with the Joneses
This episode we share three explicit experiences, a weekend with some "tried and true" LS friends, an evening with our new Texas friends and (queue the trumpets) our first experience with a single female!  

Discussion topic
We discuss how we developed a healthy approach to the lifestyle by 1) setting priorities, 2) staying balanced and 3) keeping a healthy perspective as a couple in the lifestyle.

Snapshots
Mr Jones shares an extremely "happy ending" with a new friend and Mrs Jones describes being pushed against a wall from behind while enjoying a sexy view in the mirror...

Mentioned
Please sign up here if you're interested in attending our Meet & Greet at Naughty in N'awlins this summer!
Mrs Jones recommends visiting the Licor 43 website.

Keeping up with the Joneses- another try at a house party, a visit from our Florida friends, single guy #2 and a "shake down" cruise of our new swinger pad.

Discussion Topic- We discuss how we approached understanding and balancing the risks (STIs, pregnancy, our relationship and being found out) with the rewards of entering and progressing through the lifestyle.

Snapshots- (Yet) another un-sexy snapshot from Mr Jones but never fear, Mrs Jones heats things back up with a very sexy story!

Mentioned in this episode
Centers for Disease Control- educate yourself about sexually transmitted infections.

Contact us
Email- wegottathing@gmail.com
Website- wegottathing.com
Twitter- @wegottathing

Music licenses by BMI
Me & Mrs Jones- Billy Paul

Before entering the lifestyle or becoming experienced in the lifestyle we never imagined doing some of the things we've actually done and things we've learned about the lifestyle. We share how our perspectives change over time and also share what some of our listeners have to say about their own experiences!

Mentioned: Room 77 Podcast with Richard and Lauren

Discussion topic: In this episode we catch you all up to date on what we've been going through since we were "outed" as lifestyle podcasters 18 months ago.  Through all the turmoil we lost our "happy place" and share how we've grown and rediscovered each other.  Each person and couple has the freedom to define and then find their happy place in the lifestyle.

Our We Gotta Thing Desire Pearl trip next year we be the week of November 16-23, 2019. Click here to join us!

Join our WGT Members Only Community here!

Discussion Topic- Navigating this lifestyle can be awkward at times, especially when trying to transition from conversation to playtime.  We discuss our experience in this area and share some tips to help couples take the leap to enjoying some sexy fun with others! 

Our New Online Lifestyle Course is Live!
Our new online lifestyle course called Navigating Your Lifestyle Journey is now available! Purchase in the month of January 2018 to have a chance to win two free passes to Naughty in N'awlins 2018! For more information and to purchase visit our new course website or send us an email at mrjones@wegottathing.com.

Discussion Topic- Many couples approaching the lifestyle consider clothing optional resorts as a first step on their journey.  This episode we tackle some commonly held beliefs and fears regarding clothing optional resort vacations.  Just back from another trip to Desire Pearl, we use our experiences from the week to "bust some myths."

Book your trip to one of the Desire Resorts right here!

Subscribe to our Finding Your Thing weekly newsletter here.

Discussion topic
In this special episode we'd like to share our "single guy" with you all!  We hope that listening to Tony will help couples navigate the single guy experience and help those aspiring single males to better understand how to best position themselves for "success" in the lifestyle.

Snapshots
A "three-way" snapshot of our playtime together with Tony!

Contact us
Mr Jones's email- mrjones@wegottathing.com
Mrs Jones's email- mrsjones@wegottathing.com
Twitter- @wegottathing
Website- wegottathing.com

Music licensed by BMI
Me and Mrs Jones- Billy Paul

In advance of our group trip to Temptation Grand Miches in the Dominican Republic we visited the resort to experience it ourselves. Through construction delays, supply chain disruptions, hurricanes and normal growing pains the resort is now open for business! Listen in as we describe what we enjoyed and what we think still needs to be improved upon to bring it up to par with the Desire Pearl and Riviera Maya resorts in Mexico.

Discussion topic
Listen in as we chat at Desire Pearl with Jay and Nathan, an Indian couple from Edmonton, Canada, who were brought together in an arranged marriage.  If you think you know what an arranged marriage is you might want to listen and learn!  They discuss how it all began, the pitfalls and stereotyping they faced and what led them to try the lifestyle after over 20 years of marriage.

We've all heard the term 'opposites attract' when talking about relationships. Does the same hold true when finding connections in the lifestyle? Do we search for people just like our partners or do we find ourselves attracted to those who are the opposite?

Listen in as we discuss our preferences and what we're still learning about ourselves and each other as we continue to navigate this lifestyle.

Mentioned:
Casual Toys
USA Transfers
Everlywell STI Testing
Double Date Nation
Kasidie
Desire Resorts Discounts

Topic- Some people are either put off by the term "swinger" or have misperceptions of what it really means today. We've decided to use the term 'Social Sexy' to describe how we view and engage with others in the world of ethical non-monogamy.

Mentioned: Our friend "Ess" is a boudoir photographer. Check him out on Instagram and read his recent blog post on our website!

In this episode we talk with the creators of the brand new lifestyle website Double Date Nation, Dave and Andi.  The four of us discuss our ideas and share our opinions on how best to create and optimize your lifestyle website profile to be most effective. We also interview them about their new site to find out how it's different from others and why they believe another lifestyle dating site is necessary.

To try Double Date Nation free for three months sign up here and use promo code: WGTPC

Watch Dave and Andi on their YouTube channel: The Celibate Swingers

Finding your tribe, making lifelong friends, connecting for sexy playtime and growing your primary relationship are just a few ways to define 'success' in the lifestyle.

Many may mistakenly believe you can just fill out a profile and 'show up' to quickly enjoy these benefits. We have learned that just like in life, you must both put in the hard work over a period of time to experience all the lifestyle has to offer.

Are you ready to put in the hard work? We believe the reward is worth the effort!

Erectile Dysfunction and Performance Anxiety are often misunderstood by many in the lifestyle. Numerous couples experience this issue but don't take the time to acknowledge, openly discuss, research and confront the issue head on.

Normally us guys would rather get a prescription for a performance enhancing medicine but never understand and treat the underlying health and psychological issues.

Mr Night returns to give us his professional opinion and we share our views as an experienced lifestyle couple.

Some use the term 'jealous' when these things happen but we'd like to dive a little deeper and talk about why we use the the word envy as opposed to jealousy.

Episode 10: We've Come "Full" Circle

Keeping up with The Joneses- Hot (some not) Dates at the beach.

Discussion Topic- Navigating back to full swap; handling uncomfortable advances.

Snapshots- "Danger Will Robinson"!!

Listener Snapshots

Mentioned in this episode

Naughty in N'awlins

Desire Resorts

Music licensed through BMI

Me & Mrs Jones- Billy Paul

Right Back Where We Started From- Maxine Nightingale

Picture - Kid Rock/Sheryl Crow

You Are So Beautiful- Joe Cocker

Contact us!

Email-wegottathing@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter-@wegottathing

Men are programmed through all aspects of life to avoid showing interest in other women. But now we are in this lifestyle where other women expect us to show some interest. This is so confusing! How are us guys supposed to know when you ladies are interested in getting to know us better?

Get out your notepads for this episode as Mrs Jones sets us all straight in the matter...

Keeping up with the Joneses- We Gotta Thing-o, Naughty stockings, a birthday double blow job, a trip to Pittsburg, new play friends and your hairdresser said what?

Discussion topic- we talk about the thought process and steps to take in order to move into the through the lifestyle.

Snapshots- two listener snapshots and a couple of hot snippets from our latest playtime!

Listen in as we review the brand new "The Eden" section of Desire Riviera Maya! We also enlist the help of many of our friends in a live recording from the resort to share how they challenged themselves to become a bit 'less vanilla' during our recent group trip.

We are all guilty of creating false narratives and making up those stories in our heads as we consider approaching another couple in the lifestyle. Sometimes we don't even give the other couple a chance because we are certain we know the ending of the story! We convince ourselves that they are out of our league, or they won't find us attractive, or they will probably just reject us.

We talk with our friends Andi and Dave from the lifestyle dating site Double Date Nation about how we can all recognize when we begin telling our own story and how to intervene to help create the true story!

Keeping up with the Joneses
This month we catch you up on the sexy weekend we had with a very special couple as the four of us visited the Trapeze Club in Atlanta, Georgia.  Oh, and you'll also want to hear what we put in each other's naughty stockings!

Discussion topic
How is it that we can watch each other have sex with other people and not only does it turn us on but it brings us closer?  Many of you have asked this question so we decided to share some tangible things we've experienced that prove to us (and hopefully you) that swinging can improve and already strong relationship.

Snapshots
Okay, two naked female bodies and a strap-on.  Need we say more?

Don't forget to join us at Desire Pearl the week of November 11-18!  Visit our website and click through our Desire banner to book your room and join us, the rooms are going fast!

Join us as we discuss (in detail) our swinging experiences at the Sinn-ergy James Bond New Year's Eve hotel takeover and party!

We are contantly bombarded with lifestyle symbols and the promises they bring of attracting lifestyle couples to us in our day-to-day lives! From upside down pineapples in the grocery store, to black rings on the right ring finger, to white rocks at the end of the driveway, to wearing jewelry that brings special powers.

Some content creators, lifestyle businesses and marketers exploit our collective desire to stay anonymous while at the same time magically attracting others into our secret lives with little or no effort at all.

In this episode we discuss how to both pick-up on a send those sexy vibes in ways that require a bit of work on our part but often lead to meaningful connections with others regardless of the setting. It's all about being noticeable and creating enough curiousity and intrigue to draw others in and then knowing how to engage and progress in a natural way. 

Not only do they offer a 'judgment free' zone but they bring their certified credentials and experience in the lifestyle.  Learn more about what an experience will be like with Catherine and Expansive Connection below.

Expansive Connection

Expansive Connection in the We Gotta Thing Community

NNM Enneagram Episode 1

NNM Enneagram Episode 2

NNM Enneagram Episode 3

NNM with Catherine

Catherine from Expansive Connection Coaching joins us to help define that 'squishy' term that is a result of some combination of 'swinging' and 'polyamory.' She then discusses pro's and con's of what to expect when creating your own brand of 'swolly' and then shares tips on how to succesfully communicate and navigate along the way.

Resources mentioned during this episode:

Sex Nerd Sandra Podcast- The New Monogamy with Dr. Tammy Nelson

The Erotic Blueprint Breakthrough Quiz

Group play can be fun but also tricky! In this episode we explore the benefits and pitfalls and share our perspective on how we approach and navigate playing in larger groups.

We also recap our very first Desire Mansion takeover event!

George has been hosting elaborate and sexy lifestyle events all over the world for 15 years. Since we've attended several and get many questions about these 'mysterious' lifestyle gatherings we thought it best for you to hear directly from George! From Burning Man to Cuba to London, Mexico City, Manhattan Napa and even Washington, DC you're sure to find an event to pique your interest.  Care to join us?

Explore all of George's upcoming events here!

Keeping up with the Joneses
Dinner with new friends, hosting new friends in the "Swinger Pad" and a night out with Jay and Kay from That Couple Next Door podcast.

Discussion topic
We recap our trip to Temptation Resort in Cancun and discuss our penchant for attracting and helping "newbies" move forward in  the lifestyle.  Connection, confidence and communication!

Snapshots
Listeners "M and A" share a sexy story, Mr Jones recounts a happy ending with Tony and Mrs Jones shares a memory from her birthday weekend at Temptation.

Mentioned in this episode
That Couple Next Door podcast with Jay and Kay
Temptation Resort, Cancun Mexico
Lifestyle Awards voting for your favorite podcast!

Contact us
Mr Jones's email- mrjones@wegottathing.com
Mrs Jones's email- mrsjones@wegottathing.com
Twitter- @wegottathing
Website- wegottathing.com

Music licensed by BMI
Me and Mrs Jones- Billy Paul

Most of us have mastered being 'adult-like' in all aspects of our lives. We are experienced at life. We are parents, spouses/partners, coaches, employees, teachers, leaders and friends. We've become accustomed to situations that require a mature and thoughtful response (most of the time anyway!).

However, when engaged in non-monogamy we can experience new things and perhaps even some new feelings. We are sharing ourselves and our partners initmately with others. Our relationship is now at risk so the stakes are high. Situations will arise that invoke strong emotions in a way we may not have experienced before and it can be difficult not to act out in ways that may hurt others or push them away.

In this episode Catherine, a licensed therapist from Expansive Connection Coaching talks about what is happening inside our brains and how we might be able to anticipate and respond 'like adults' when things don't go as we expect.

Join Mr & Mrs Jones and they interview "Scott & Kelly." This couple's journey into the lifestyle sounds like many other origin stories but then takes a bit of a turn when a family member shares some unexpected news. In another suprising twist the lifestyle community jumps in for a big assist to help and support them work through an interesting dilemma.

Keeping up with the Joneses
This month we catch you up on our date(s) with a "unicorn", an evening in our swinger pad with good friends, a somewhat vanilla work party at our house and a family event.

Discussion topic
Mrs Jones recently discovered the lifestyle changed Mr Jones more than herself.  Armed with this revelation she decides to "interview" Mr Jones in order to dig into how men may view the lifestyle experience differently than women.

Snapshots
We start off by sharing two newbie "hot tub" snapshots from listeners.  Mr Jones shares a "messy" story with good friends while Mrs Jones tells how she caught herself flirting at a vanilla event while Mr Jones was out of town.

Don't forget to join us at Desire Pearl the week of November 11-18! Visit our website and click through our Desire banner to book your room and join us, the rooms are going fast!

Perhaps you have not had your first play experience yet or haven't had one in a very long time due to the current pandemic.

Preparing for that first play experience creates a lot of build up, anticipation and nerves. No matter how that first time goes one can lose sight of the fact that it's only one experience and should not be the benchmark for all future play times in the lifestyle!