Was That Good For You? (Studio71)

It's my first episode of the new season! Solo episodes are hard for me. I suffer from serious imposter syndrome. As you can see from the title of the episode, this is basically a stream of consciousness in regards to the pressure I (and most people) put on ourselves - whether that's in relationships, the bedroom, or just life in general. I talk about accepting every version of myself and the pressure to perform on social media. We get deep. Follow Raya: Instagram: @rayacarmona Twitter: @rayacarmona TikTok: @rayacarmona To watch the podcast on YouTube: Raya's Channel Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/WTGFYPod If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/WTGFYPod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

No one knows marketing and media more than this week’s guest and my good friend Kristi. We met during our time working at Playboy, so we kick off the episode by discussing the #1 question we used to get: Where is line between objectification and sexual empowerment? We also talk about the harmful effects of porn & romcoms, the times we let media dictate our sex lives and the importance of intimacy coordinators on set.  Follow Raya: Instagram: @rayacarmona Twitter: @rayacarmona TikTok: @rayacarmona To watch the podcast on YouTube: Raya's Channel Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/WTGFYPod If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/WTGFYPod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week, I'm joined by Portia - the founder & creator of Froetic Sexology. We discuss the ways in which we were taught about sex as well as how it can be improved for generations going forward. Portia explains how to bring mindfulness and meditation practices into sexual experiences, and how it can lead to even better orgasms. Toward the end, we dive deep into the importance of looking at sex as a co-creative experience versus a performance, which we find many women and femmes struggle with. Learn more from Portia here. For more on IG: @rayacarmona  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

On this week's episode, one of my best friends, actress Imani Hakim is on the show! She and her friend, director Daniel Weaver, talk through the nuance of interracial relationships. We get deep about the challenges that come with dating outside your race or even your ethnicity, and what we've all learned along the way. For more on IG: @rayacarmona  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

On this week's episode, I'm joined by Adrienne Williams to discuss the many pros and cons of using dating apps. We talk matching with A-list celebs on the Raya app, how apps might actually be making dating worse, and how Adrienne’s boyfriend might want to upgrade from a “kept man” to a “houseboy.” Word of the day: Houseboy For more on IG: @rayacarmona  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today I'm joined by my good friend Kelley Fox to discuss the meaning of emotional unavailability in relationships. We also talk about how differences in love languages can be perceived as disinterest. Listen to find out if you might be falling for the traps of being strung along by someone who’s emotionally unavailable (or just not that into you). Word of the day: Brat For more on IG: @rayacarmona  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today my friend and Playmate Shauna Sexton comes to the studio to discuss the art of sexting. We offer the woman's perspective in receiving dick pics as well as the amount of work that goes into making a good sexy video. Do you have the right lighting and angle? Is Netflix blaring too loudly in the background? All important factors to consider. Later we offer a few tips on the proper sexting etiquette and how men can stand to try a little harder before hitting "send." Word of the day: Soft Limit For more on IG: @rayacarmona  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sam Miller (writer, sexually active 27-year-old male) joins me to discuss the healthiest ways to set up a friends with benefits situation. I lay out rules I've made for keeping FWBs civil, which, frankly, sometimes still lead to feelings for the other person. Sam recounts one particular time that he was scorned by a friend with benefits, as well as his perspective on the longevity of FWB. Word of the day: Klismaphilia For more on IG: @rayacarmona  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I had my good friend and Playboy bunny Marissa Luck on to discuss the importance of asking for what you want in every aspect of a relationship. Whether it's emotional or what you want in bed, defining what you expect is important in understanding a person and setting boundaries for yourself. We also discuss times that not telling our partner exactly what we wanted led to misunderstandings or worse, fewer orgasms. Word of the day: Gräfenberg spot For more on IG: @rayacarmona  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Andrew Cramb from the "Where Are All My Friends" podcast joins me to talk the tightrope of navigating post-breakup relationships. We discuss seeing an ex later and hating that they look better than you, the complications with having an ex that's in your friends' circle, and of course answer the ultimate question, is it ever a good idea to sleep with an ex? Word of the day: Intersex. For more on IG: @rayacarmona  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week, my friend and musician/actor Malcolm Cumming joins to discuss the age-old story of men calling women "crazy" and why they feel it's so easy to categorize them as such. Malcolm tells the story of his meth-snorting ex-girlfriend that he feels deserves the title. Debate ensues. Word of the day: Lordosis For more on IG: @rayacarmona  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Nikki Limo, host of the Shit They Don't Tell You Podcast, joins me this week to discuss the spectrum of foreplay and how Nikki was a late bloomer when it came to the act. We swap techniques that we learned from old Cosmo magazine clippings and 1998-era Google, and how we both lost their virginities in the back of a car. Afterwards, we rundown a few helpful tips to be better at foreplay. Words of the day: Taint For more on IG: @rayacarmona  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week, Kelsey Hellenbrand comes to the studio to discuss what it means when you get a "gut feeling" in your relationship. Is it always right? And how much trust can and should you place in a person versus yourself? We also talk about times our gut was right, and other times where it led us down the wrong path. Word of the day: Emotional Play For more on IG: @rayacarmona  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Entertainer, actress, and fire-breather Georgie Leahy joins me to talk about everyone's favorite subject: masturbating! We We also discuss why some people find it awkward to masturbate in front of a partner, why having more sex actually drives women to masturbate more, plus the time Georgie lost her virginity to a deaf dancer. Word of the day: Anilingus For more on IG: @rayacarmona  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week, my favorite couple Travis Canby and Judy Lovingfoss come on to discuss the stigma behind someone's "body count" aka the number of people a person has slept with. Travis talks about the pressure that young men feel to boost up their "number" in front of other men, while Judy and I explore the real damage that "slut shaming" has done to women and why they often lower their number publicly. For more on IG: @rayacarmona  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week I had the amazing Dana Savage on! Dana is the founder of Tango, a revolutionary sex toy company that caters to all genders, orientations and genitalia. We talk about the current state of sex toys and the many misconceptions that keep people away from them all together. Plus, we discuss why there is a stigma against men using sex toys and how all of that might be changing thanks to the "eating ass" movement. Word of the Day: Anal Beads For more on IG: @rayacarmona  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today I'm joined by my friend Summer Thomas to discuss why people cheat and how it can lead to trust issues. Summer recounts the times she was cheated on and how she's still recovering from the damage. After that, we discuss what the line is between innocent flirting and full-on cheating. Word of the Day: Axilism For more on on IG: @rayacarmona Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Music producer Matt Beckley joins me to dispel some myths and lies surrounding the world of sex and relationships: Does playing hard-to-get really work? Is rebound sex the perfect way to get over someone? We break down these questions and use our own past experiences to finally put some relationship urban legends to rest. Word of the Day: Figging For more on IG: @rayacarmona Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Non-monogamy, threesomes and more on modern love are explored in this week's episode. I'm joined by my friend Julia Fae, who identifies as polyamorous, to discuss the best and worst about dating in the modern world. We chat about how the internet has made it much easier to find people that share your kink and how antiquated "rules” for relationships are slowly fading away. Word of the Day: Polyamory For more on IG: @rayacarmona Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Spirituality advisor and tarotscopes writer for Glamour Magazine Meghan Rose joins me this week to explore where spirituality fits into sex and dating. Meghan explains how being able to balance energies is crucial in any physical and romantic connection and how working on yourself is the most important action you can take before trying to enter into any romantic relationship. Word of the Day: Tantric For more on IG: @rayacarmona Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week, I had the incredible Jimanekia Eborn AKA The Trauma Queen on the show. They have worked in the mental health field for 12 years, specializing in sexual education and sexual trauma support. We discuss the many ways to define trauma and how it can affect every type of relationship. Jimanekia also explains how to navigate your sexuality and future relationships after a traumatic event. For more on IG: @rayacarmona  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today, my friend Emily and I cover a variety of topics including the trouble with defining your sexuality, finding sex parties on Eventbrite, what DMs they're getting on a regular basis, and their performance anxiety in bed. For more on IG: @rayacarmona  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Good friend and licensed marriage counselor Bri Ferron joins me to discuss the various attachment styles, how it was probably established in your childhood, and how to deal with a partner that has a different attachment style than you. Find out your attachment style here! For more information on attachment styles, check out "Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help YouFind - and Keep - Love." For more on IG: @rayacarmona Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Women's sex coach Lacey Broussard joins me to discuss her work with women and changing the narrative that women are often plagued with surrounding their sexuality and having orgasms. Lacey discusses using a jade egg to enhance sexual pleasure, using modern and ancient techniques to have multiple orgasms, and how men are missing out on great pleasure by not putting stuff in their butts. Visit Lacey's website The Multiorgasmic Mama for more! For more on IG: @rayacarmona  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week, I had Meghan Rose back on the show to help answer listener-submitted questions. Topics range from how to broach the subject of kinks to your partner, if pegging makes you gay (it doesn't), navigating forbidden crushes and so much more! For more on IG: @rayacarmona  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Gabriella Sibaja is back to help me answer even more of your most burning sex and relationship questions. In this part two of last weeks episode, we answer questions ranging from "How sustainable are polyamorous relationships?" to "Should I even be dating during lockdown?" For more on IG: @rayacarmona  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week, I'm joined by the amazing speaker/author/activist Zachary Zane to discuss how Zoom virtual sex orgies work, how non-monogamous couples are navigating quarantining together and why being on lockdown is the perfect time to put things up your butt, For more Zach, check out his column on Men's Health or explore your body with B-Vibe. For more on IG: @rayacarmona  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week, I had model and asexuality advocate Yasmin Benoit on the show to discuss the many misconceptions around asexuality. We also chat about how it's slowly becoming more widely accepted as a sexual preference, although Yasmin knows firsthand it still has a long way to go in mainstream society. For more on IG: @rayacarmona  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week, I'm joined by Astrologer Colin Bedell AKA QueerCosmos to discuss how no two signs are ever incompatible when it comes to relationships, sometimes you just need to work on yourself first. Colin also brings astrology into the 21st century by explaining how gender and sexuality shouldn't factor into your readings and how only finding "compatible" signs could actually land you in a terrible relationship. For more on IG: @rayacarmona  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Of all the STIs, why does herpes carry such a heavy stigma? When did it become the sexual boogeyman? Suzanna Brusikiewicz is determined to change that. In 2021, she came out publicly about having HSV2 and has been working ever since to spread awareness as well as unconditional love and self-acceptance. Alongside her work as a sensual guide, Suz works to help people reclaim their sensuality and let go of society's judgements.  See more from Suzanna here: https://www.suzbub.com/ Follow Raya: Instagram: @rayacarmona Twitter: @rayacarmona TikTok: @rayacarmona To watch the podcast on YouTube: Raya's Channel Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/WTGFYPod If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/WTGFYPod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Gabby joins the show for our first monthly Q&A of the season and we've got some wild listener-submitted questions. How unethical is it to masturbate to an ex's nudes? Does watching gay porn make me gay? How do I ask for better sex without upsetting my partner? We answer all of that and more on today's episode!  Follow Gabby on Instagram at instagram.com/gabbysibaja Follow Raya: Instagram: @rayacarmona Twitter: @rayacarmona TikTok: @rayacarmona To watch the podcast on YouTube: Raya's Channel Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/WTGFYPod If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/WTGFYPod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My good friend Cici joins me today to chat about all things sex work. Cici has spent time as a dancer, an escort and an OnlyFans creator, so we discuss the pros and cons of doing one type of sex work versus another. We also talk through the difficulties that can arise behind the scenes in the world of stripping as well as how our work on OnlyFans has actually helped us create better boundaries in real life.  Follow Cici on Instagram at instagram.com/spicycowgal Follow Raya: Instagram: @rayacarmona Twitter: @rayacarmona TikTok: @rayacarmona To watch the podcast on YouTube: Raya's Channel Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/WTGFYPod If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/WTGFYPod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This was one of the most fun episodes I've ever recorded on the show. I invited my ex (and now very good friend) Chris to join me for a very candid conversation about our previous relationship. We broke up many years ago, and although it was quite a serious relationship, looking back with the hindsight and maturity that time has given us was so interesting. We also discuss the nuance to being friends with someone you were once in a partnership with, and why it doesn't always work out as well as it did for us.  Follow Raya: Instagram: @rayacarmona Twitter: @rayacarmona TikTok: @rayacarmona To watch the podcast on YouTube: Raya's Channel Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/WTGFYPod If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/WTGFYPod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I had professional dominatrix Lucy Sweetkill on the show today to walk us through life as a dominatrix with over 10 years of experience. From how she got started to the power dynamics around dungeons, this episode feels like a crash course on the world of professional BDSM. Lucy also explains the art of mindful domination, boundary setting and healing trauma through kink.  Follow Raya: Instagram: @rayacarmona Twitter: @rayacarmona TikTok: @rayacarmona To watch the podcast on YouTube: Raya's Channel Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/WTGFYPod If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/WTGFYPod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

For our last Q&A of the year, Gabby and I tackle a ton of listener-submitted questions! We discuss how to work around a penis that's too big, navigating a partner's pronouns around family during the holidays, and why the classic saying "Those who look will find" is so true when it comes to snooping.  Follow Gabby! https://linktr.ee/gabbysibaja Follow Raya: Instagram: @rayacarmona Twitter: @rayacarmona TikTok: @rayacarmona To watch the podcast on YouTube: Raya's Channel Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/WTGFYPod If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/WTGFYPod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Gabby is back for this month's listener-submitted Q&A and let me tell you - this is a crazy one. We got more personal than ever while discussing the best blowjob techniques and how to make car sex amazing (I told the story about the time I had spite sex in a berry field). We also answered some more serious questions involving sexual compatibility, being new to queer dating and when to keep fighting in a relationship versus calling it quits.  Follow Gabby on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gabbysibaja/ Take the BDSM quiz here: https://bdsmtest.org/select-mode My favorite vibrator for newbies! https://bit.ly/3GxvERd Follow Raya: Instagram: @rayacarmona Twitter: @rayacarmona TikTok: @rayacarmona To watch the podcast on YouTube: Raya's Channel Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/WTGFYPod If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/WTGFYPod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Kristofer and I became online friends over the pandemic and after reading his essay "Dad Used To Have Boobs (And They Were Kind Of Big)," I knew I wanted to have him on the show. Kristofer is a comic, screenwriter, and Twitter personality, and today he joined me to discuss his experience dating while trans, our thoughts on the nuance of bisexuality and navigating fetishization on dating apps.  Follow Kristofer here! https://twitter.com/kristoferthomas?s=21&t=vxcmCnT7mVkz1WhD7VIo9g Follow Raya: Instagram: @rayacarmona Twitter: @rayacarmona TikTok: @rayacarmona To watch the podcast on YouTube: Raya's Channel Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/WTGFYPod If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/WTGFYPod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This is an episode that starts off as one thing, goes into an entirely different thing and then somehow comes full circle and works relatively cohesively. C'est la vie. I discuss the science behind why unhealthy relationships can be so addicting, our need for validation and how it can be traced back to childhood, the importance of rejecting normalcy, and why it's cool to be a piece of shit.  Follow Raya: Instagram: @rayacarmona Twitter: @rayacarmona TikTok: @rayacarmona To watch the podcast on YouTube: Raya's Channel Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/WTGFYPod If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/WTGFYPod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I had the incredible Dr. Tara on the show today to discuss overcoming sexual anxiety. Dr. Tara is a tenured professor of relational and sexual communication at California State University Fullerton, an award-winning researcher, sex and relationship coach, and the host of the Luvbites podcast. We also discuss the idea that dating is a learned skill and the importance of prioritizing pleasure over performance. Learn more from Dr. Tara here! https://www.luvbites.co/ Follow Raya: Instagram: @rayacarmona Twitter: @rayacarmona TikTok: @rayacarmona To watch the podcast on YouTube: Raya's Channel Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/WTGFYPod If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/WTGFYPod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

For our last Q&A of the year, Gabby and I tackle a ton of listener-submitted questions! We discuss how to work around a penis that's too big, navigating a partner's pronouns around family during the holidays, and why the classic saying "Those who look will find" is so true when it comes to snooping.  Follow Gabby! https://linktr.ee/gabbysibaja Follow Raya: Instagram: @rayacarmona Twitter: @rayacarmona TikTok: @rayacarmona To watch the podcast on YouTube: Raya's Channel Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/WTGFYPod If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/WTGFYPod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I had award-winning global CamStar, Lindsey Banks, on the show today. Banksie, who is a veteran in the adult industry, has also been on multiple panels, hosted seminars and works as a voice for cam girls, sex workers and Latinx creators in the community. We discuss her career trajectory, incorporating virtual reality into sex work, the emotional side of camming and so much more.  Get more from Banksie here! https://www.banksietv.com/about-me Follow Raya: Instagram: @rayacarmona Twitter: @rayacarmona TikTok: @rayacarmona To watch the podcast on YouTube: Raya's Channel Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/WTGFYPod If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/WTGFYPod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week I had the incredible Tricia Wise, also known as Safe Slut, on the show. We talked about life with genital herpes, how reiki can help heal sexual traumas and navigating the safe sex conversation. Tricia and I discuss red flags when it comes to talking about STIs and the importance of setting clear boundaries with people. See more from Tricia here! https://www.safeslut.shop/about  Follow Raya: Instagram: @rayacarmona Twitter: @rayacarmona TikTok: @rayacarmona To watch the podcast on YouTube: Raya's Channel Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/WTGFYPod If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/WTGFYPod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I had Adrienne, also known as The Yoni Nutritionist, on the show today for a crash course in vaginal and sexual health. Adrienne is a certified nutritional practitioner who specializes in holistic nutrition & wellness for common, chronic vaginal infections like yeast infections, candida overgrowth, bacterial vaginosis, UTI’s, and STI's. We talk about the medicinal struggle for people with vaginas, the importance of diet and stress and how they may be affecting you more than you realize and so much more. If you've ever struggled with any chronic vaginal health issues, you need to listen to this episode! Learn more from Adrienne here! https://yoninutritionist.com Follow Raya: Instagram: @rayacarmona Twitter: @rayacarmona TikTok: @rayacarmona To watch the podcast on YouTube: Raya's Channel Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/WTGFYPod If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/WTGFYPod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This month's Q&A is one of those episodes where there's something for everyone. If any of the advice you hear today might resonate with someone you know, send it along for the greater good of humanity! We answer questions such as: What should I do about a friend who's too flirty with my partner? If a guy is too nice, should I worry he'll eventually become a "Wife Guy?" How do I handle an ex who is punishing me simply for ending things? Give this episode a listen to hear the answers to these and more! Follow Raya: Instagram: @rayacarmona Twitter: @rayacarmona TikTok: @rayacarmona To watch the podcast on YouTube: Raya's Channel Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/WTGFYPod If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/WTGFYPod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I had couples & relationships therapist, consent, sex & sexuality writer and educator Yana Tallon-Hicks on the show this week! We discussed how to navigate desire differences in a relationship, understanding the root of your kinks, how your sex life affects the rest of our life and why it's okay to own your vanilla-ness even in this new ultra sex-positive world!  Get Yana's new book "Hot & Unbothered" here! https://yanatallonhicks.com/preorder/ Follow Raya: Instagram: @rayacarmona Twitter: @rayacarmona TikTok: @rayacarmona To watch the podcast on YouTube: Raya's Channel Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/WTGFYPod If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/WTGFYPod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

On this month's solo episode, I discuss how important emotion regulation has become to me, for myself and for the sake of my relationship. I also talk about how sometimes forbearance is the right choice over open communication and how to keep a spark alive even in a long-term relationship. Give it a listen and let me know what you think!  Follow Raya: Instagram: @rayacarmona Twitter: @rayacarmona TikTok: @rayacarmona To watch the podcast on YouTube: Raya's Channel Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/WTGFYPod If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/WTGFYPod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's okay to be early on in your sexual journey than others. We don't shame around here! If you feel like you need a refresher on sex education, looking for some tips & tricks to be better in bed or are simply just starting out - this is the episode for you!  Get tested for STIs here: https://gettested.cdc.gov/ Follow Raya: Instagram: @rayacarmona Twitter: @rayacarmona TikTok: @rayacarmona To watch the podcast on YouTube: Raya's Channel Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/WTGFYPod If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/WTGFYPod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This is my first round table episode in over a year! On this week's episode, I had two of my favorite couples over to discuss social media and its effects on relationships. We chat through the pressure to seem perfect, posting about break ups, how to drown out the opinions of others and so much more. Listen to the end for a tangent (although an extremely enlightening one) about navigating another layer of complication: when one person in a partnership has ADHD. Follow everyone below!  instagram.com/gabbysibaja  instagram.com/ryanscottgraham  instagram.com/kylierae  instagram.com/sheppard_iv Follow Raya: Instagram: @rayacarmona Twitter: @rayacarmona TikTok: @rayacarmona To watch the podcast on YouTube: Raya's Channel Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/WTGFYPod If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/WTGFYPod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We tackle so many unique questions on this week's Q&A and there's truly something for everyone. One listener is looking for tips on diving into kink for the first time, while someone else wonders if their new boyfriend following Instagram models is a red flag. We also dive into navigating overly-friendly exes as well as whether or not cheating in the past should worry a new partner.  Follow Gabby & I on Instagram!  instagram.com/rayacarmona instagram.com/gabbysibaja  Follow Raya: Twitter: @rayacarmona TikTok: @rayacarmona To watch the podcast on YouTube: Raya's Channel Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/WTGFYPod If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/WTGFYPod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I had porn collage artist Lisa Be and photographer Rina Mov on to discuss what it means to be a "nasty woman." We debate the best time to start being open about bodily functions with a new partner as well as the standards women are held to when it comes to those things. We also discuss why men are uncomfortable around women who openly like sex and swap stories of the times we've had to get "nasty" in front of our sexual partners. For more Lisa & Rina For more on IG: @rayacarmona  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week, I'm so excited to be joined by Charles & Shelley Wininger. Over the past 20 years, Charley, 71 years old, and Shelley, 69 years old, have found MDMA to act as a kind of romantic glue for them. They've used it intentionally to enhance and deepen their bond, with its positive effects on their marriage accumulating over time. They explain that they’ve done MDMA carefully and responsibly together over 70 times. We chat through how the drug has rejuvenated them both emotionally and sexually as they’ve entered their senior years.  Get a copy of Listening To Ecstacy here.  For more on IG: @rayacarmona  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Was That Good For You? is a guide to all things sex and relationships. Every week, sex educator Raya Carmona talks openly and honestly with guests on topics ranging from navigating interracial dating to normalizing kinks in the bedroom to the trajectory of becoming a sugar baby. Through candid conversations with friends as well as interviews with leaders in the sexual health field, this show works to destigmatize the sexual journey we are all on. Recurring guests include Raya’s partner Kelen Capener and her best friend Gabby, who help answer listener-submitted sex and relationship questions. For more, follow the show on Instagram at @wasthatgoodforyou.  Follow Raya: Instagram: @rayacarmona Twitter: @rayacarmona TikTok: @rayacarmona To watch the podcast on YouTube: Raya's Channel Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/WTGFYPod If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/WTGFYPod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

On this week's episode, travel photographer Beth Saravo and State Champ’s Ryan Scott Graham join me to talk long distance dating. From communicating when you’re in different countries to hooking up on the tour bus, they cover it all. For more on IG: @rayacarmona Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

On this week's episode, I'm joined by my best friend and recurring guest Gabriela Sibaja to talk about the good, the bad and the ugly when it comes to creeping on social media. Whether it’s snooping on your ex or digging through a new partner’s past, we both agree that it’s time to cut the habit. For more on IG: @rayacarmona Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week, I had the lovely Shani Long on to discuss the double standards when it comes to owning your sexuality. We discuss the Madonna-Whore Dichotomy and how Kim Kardashian's status and perceptions made people ignore the fact that her sex tape was nothing more than revenge porn. As a listener, you’ll get 10% off your first month by visiting BetterHelp.com/GoodForYou. For more on IG: @rayacarmona  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week, I'm joined by my friend Morgan Grimes who was married (and divorced) at a young age. She discusses how people, both older relatives and peers, viewed her own marriage and divorce and explains why it's not much different than people getting together and breaking up. We also discuss the stigma behind multiple marriages and how it's time we rethink these prejudices. As a listener, you’ll get 10% off your first month by visiting BetterHelp.com/GoodForYou. For more on IG: @rayacarmona  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week, I had journalist and author of two sex & cannabis books, "The Little Book of CBD for Self-Care" & "Finding Your Higher Self: Your Guide to Cannabis for Self-Care", Sophie Saint Thomas in the studio. We discuss the many benefits of introducing weed into your sexual relationships, including anal and vaginal suppositories, enhancing your orgasms, and reducing pain during sex. She also give tips on how to introduce pot to others who might be nervous about it, and we explore the stigmas against people who use marijuana for medical reasons versus recreational uses, and why both should be generally de-stigmatized. For more on IG: @rayacarmona  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week, I had actress, musician and OnlyFans creator Erika Heidewald on to discuss the recent takeover of OnlyFans by millionaire celebrities (Bella Thorne, Cardi B) and why they're attempt to help is actually harming sex workers and adding to the stigma. Erika and I also discuss how just because Erika has an OnlyFans, that doesn't mean she, or any sex worker, is less deserving of love and meaningful relationships. Follow Erika on Instagram: Instagram.com/ErikaHeidewald  For more on IG: @rayacarmona  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week, I chat with musician Ryan Scott Graham, a member of State Champs (and Gabby's boyfriend)! We talk about why people fall for musicians, what that does to their egos and personalities, and Ryan's personal experiences on how his life completely changed when he became a musician, including how being left on read was a thing of the past. Follow Ryan: Instagram.com/ryanscottgraham As a listener, you’ll get 10% off your first month by visiting betterhelp.com/goodforyou  For more on IG: @rayacarmona  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week, I'm joined by author and host of "The Sex Ed" Podcast, Liz Goldwyn to discuss how there is no such thing as a late bloomer, the many short-comings of modern sex education, and why most of the concepts around virginity are just social constructs. Plus, Liz answers some listener-submitted questions, including how to explore new avenues of sex with your partner & whether you should sleep with your ex (spoiler alert: you probably shouldn't). As a listener, you’ll get 10% off your first month by visiting betterhelp.com/goodforyou  For more on IG: @rayacarmona  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week, I had author and certified witch Gabriela Herstik on to discuss Sex Magick (not to be confused with "magic") and how sexual energy is crucial in her work. We also explore how Magick can work for everyone in their everyday lives, no matter what your background or what you believe in, and how to use your energies to find love and success. As a listener, you’ll get 10% off your first month by visiting betterhelp.com/goodforyou! For more on IG: @rayacarmona  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week, writer and polyamory ethical non-monogamy resource Gabrielle Smith joins me to discuss how to navigate opening a relationship to polyamory and/or ethical non-monogamy and how to set appropriate boundaries to ensure success in your relationship. We chat about the issues that don't allow people to comprehend opening a relationship, including insecurity and pressure, and why we're conditioned societally to think that jealousy is just a part of being with someone. As a listener, you’ll get 10% off your first month by visiting betterhelp.com/goodforyou! Resources on polyamory and ENM mentioned on this episode: Michelle AKA Polyamorous While Asian GabAlexa Shrimp Teeth For more on IG: @rayacarmona  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week, I talk with sex journalist and sex toy enthusiast Gabrielle Kassel to chat about masturbation, sex toys, and so much more. Gabrielle explains where and how a beginner user can start incorporating toys, and gives her recommendations for toys you may have never heard of. We also discuss Doomsturbating, talking about sex outside of the bedroom, and how Covid may make conversations about STI testing easier in the future.  Sex Toys & Companies mentioned on this episode: Cute Little Fuckers Fun Factory Le Wand Bow Stainless Steel Toy INTRODUCING: Was That Good For You Merch Drop 1! Support the show by visiting WasThatGoodForYou.co to grab limited edition pieces including tees, crewneck sweaters, one of a kind vintage and more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week, I had my friend and musician almondmilkhunni on discuss her dating life and explosive career, the pressure she feels from being on social media, and how she became a de facto voice for dancers and sex workers. We also discuss the divide among OnlyFans users and she explains why she avoids dating Cancer men. Listen to almondmilkhunni's music here: https://open.spotify.com/artist/778bhPsYwr6sAELsBBX8MC?si=TRtIl2gaSG--bHqz-hBktw As a listener, you’ll get 10% off your first month by visiting betterhelp.com/goodforyou! For more on IG: @rayacarmona Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week, I'm joined by musician Bonavega to discuss coming from a religious background and breaking out of that shell. Bonavega details how he's found himself through his music, including not conforming to any gender or sexuality norms and even the subject matter he sings about, as well as how this personal exploration has actually led to healthier relationships. Listen to Bonavega's music here! For more on IG: @rayacarmona  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week, I chat with BDSM educator & 24/7 collared submissive Lina Dune to dispel some myths surrounding BDSM and the kink community, including how safe it is, how it stresses consent and communication, and how aspects of kink can help with everyone's sexual experiences, even those not interested in BDSM. Check out Lina's Patreon here! For more on IG: @rayacarmona  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Kristi Beck from Playboy HQ joins me in the studio for a frank discussion on the always fascinating topic of sex on the first date! Kristi explains how sex BEFORE the first date led to her healthy, long-term relationship (she's now engaged to him)! and why we should shed old stereotypes. For more on IG: @rayacarmona Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

On this weeks episode, my good friend Rachel Eck chats with me on all things porn. We get into our personal preferences, discuss the most popular porn searches and the possible negative effects of consuming too much porn. For more on IG: @rayacarmona Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices