Trans Questioning Podcast (Sarah Zedig)
Explorez tous les épisodes de Trans Questioning Podcast
| Date | Titre | Durée | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 06 Jan 2020 | Conversation with a Transgender Therapist (with Rose Benjamin) | 01:01:50 | |
THIS WEEK: Sarah talks to Rose Benjamin about her experience as a therapist specializing in transgender issues. Topics include: The application of wisdom, the truth of ourselves, passive vs active trauma, historical roles of trans people, and the pitfalls of the stereotypical trans narrative. Follow Rose Benjamin on Instagram @trans_therapist_rose "Two Spirits, One Heart, Five Genders" by Duane Brayboy. If you have a story to tell or a question to ask, email us at TransQuestioningPodcast@gmail.com or send an anonymous message at curiouscat.me/transquestioning TQ Twitter: @TransQPodcast Support Sarah Zedig on Patreon.com/LTAS or give a one-time donation at ko-fi.com/sarahzedig INTRO MUSIC by Zoestra COVER ART by @deervvitch If you are in crisis or just need a shoulder to cry on, please contact the Trans Lifeline for support at TransLifeline.org. | |||
| 15 Aug 2019 | Heather Flowers: Staying Dangerous | 00:57:47 | |
You climb into the warm crevice of your meat mech. Its pungent copper wetness fills your nose and slides down the back of your throat... it tastes like blood and cherries. It occurs to you that this nightmare of muscle and bone feels somehow more like home than anywhere else you've ever been. You whisper your name and push your neck onto the nerve spike. As the thing you call "yourself" expands, a fire lights in the pit of your stomach. Oh, of course. This is what it feels like to be alive. This is what it feels like to be you. You are GENDER DISASTER. THIS WEEK: Game developer Heather Flowers joins us to discuss EXTREME MEATPUNKS FOREVER Season 2, which is on Kickstarter now! Topics include antifascism in video games, advice for aspiring artists, how to deal with trolls, what to do about diversity in the games industry, being transgender online, and what keeps us going in the age of fascism. Support EXTREME MEATPUNKS FOREVER Season 2: Bound By Ash on Kickstarter!Buy Heather's other games, including Meatpunks Season 1, at hthr.itch.io! Follow and support Heather on... Patreon: patreon.com/hthr Twitter: @HTHRFLWRS If you have a story to tell or a question to ask, email us at TransQuestioningPodcast@gmail.com or send an anonymous message at curiouscat.me/transquestioning TQ Twitter: @TransQPodcast Support Sarah Zedig on Patreon.com/LTAS or give a one-time donation at ko-fi.com/sarahzedig INTRO MUSIC by Zoestra COVER ART by @deervvitch If you are in crisis or just need a shoulder to cry on, please contact the Trans Lifeline for support at TransLifeline.org. | |||
| 04 Feb 2025 | The Solace of Strings | 00:55:22 | |
Let's Make Some Noise!In the first proper episode of Trans Questioning 2, Sarah kicks things off with a rattle as she discusses generational warfare, Gen Z attitudes about education, and the real problems of artificial intelligence while simultaneously restringing and tuning her guitar. That's right, it's a classic "distracted ASMR" episode. Intro Music by Molly Noise: https://linktr.ee/MollyNoise. Help support Sarah financially at patreon.com/ltas, comradery.co/sarahzedig or ko-fi.com/sarahzedig for one-time donations. Find her posts on mastodon, bluesky, and tumblr. Take care of yourselves. Find out more at https://trans-questioning-podcast.pinecast.co | |||
| 13 Jun 2022 | Personal Responsibility (to kick your ass) | 01:08:56 | |
My head is a blender and society is giving me too many tropical fruitsThis smoothie has a bit of a neapolitan flavor. Contradictions, the pandemic, rate of profit, and my own disjointed writings on The State Of Things come together in what can be resoundingly described as "an hourlong podcast episode." Death Panel podcast: Outdoor Transmission w/ Dr. Theresa Chapple Music by Molly Noise: https://linktr.ee/MollyNoise Cover Art by Deerwitch: @deervvitch Help support Sarah financially at patreon.com/ltas or ko-fi.com/sarahzedig for one-time donations. Sarah's Twitter: @hmsnofun Take care of yourselves. Find out more at https://trans-questioning-podcast.pinecast.co | |||
| 15 Jul 2019 | Marble Charlotte: On Conversion Therapy | 01:13:13 | |
CONTENT WARNING: This episode gets into several heavy topics, such as emotional abuse, privacy violations, homelessness, victim blaming, and conversion therapy. Please take care of yourselves. THIS WEEK: Marble Charlotte comes on the show to discuss her experience with a family-mandated therapist whose only goal was to convince her she wasn't transgender. Follow and support Marble on... Patreon: patreon.com/sweetestskull Twitter: @marblecantus Twitch: twitch.tv/marblecantus Podcast: Deck of Friendship Do you have questions, stories, or other gender-related gripes you want to share? Support Sarah at Patreon.com/LTAS or give a one-time donation at ko-fi.com/sarahz For podcast updates, follow @TransQPodcast INTRO MUSIC by Zoestra COVER ART by @deervvitch If you are in crisis or just need a shoulder to cry on, please contact the Trans Lifeline for support at TransLifeline.org. | |||
| 09 Dec 2019 | What Is Trans Questioning? | 01:01:07 | |
Sarah's back yet again, and she has even more questions. THIS WEEK: Why did this show start? What will this show become? What's Sarah even been up to??? Do you have questions, stories, or other gender-related gripes you want to share? Support Sarah at Patreon.com/LTAS or give a one-time donation at ko-fi.com/sarahz For podcast updates, follow @TransQPodcast INTRO MUSIC by Zoestra COVER ART by @deervvitch If you are in crisis or just need a shoulder to cry on, please contact the Trans Lifeline for support at TransLifeline.org. | |||
| 01 Jul 2019 | Aysha U. Farah: The Good and Bad of Cyberpunk | 01:04:07 | |
What even is cyberpunk? THIS WEEK: Writer Aysha U. Farah joins to talk a little about their experience with gender, as well as to discuss a certain high-profile cyberpunk video game currently making the promotional rounds in the game-o-sphere. We explore what the genre means to us, why we think so many people get it wrong, and offer up some atypical examples of it being done right. ALSO: Some minor discussion of Homestuck and Hiveswap Friendsim, because what's a cyberpunk discussion without a little self-flagellation? Follow and support Aysha: Twitter: @ayshaufarah Website: ayshaufarah.com Patreon: patreon.com/aufarah LINKS: Aysha U. Farah on Intermission re: Puss in Heels The Vienna Game - Homestuck Cyberpunk AU Fanfic by paraTactician Do you have questions, stories, or other gender-related gripes you want to share? Support Sarah at Patreon.com/LTAS or give a one-time donation at ko-fi.com/sarahz For podcast updates, follow @TransQPodcast INTRO MUSIC by Zoestra COVER ART by @deervvitch If you are in crisis or just need a shoulder to cry on, please contact the Trans Lifeline for support at TransLifeline.org. | |||
| 20 Jan 2020 | Southern Transgothic Disasters (with Cassidy Claymore) | 01:02:13 | |
THIS WEEK: Cassidy Claymore joins Sarah in that most hallowed of social activities: just vibing. Topics include: Being trans in the south, homelessness, road trips, being an animator, and various obscenities. Follow and support Cassidy on Twitter: @CassClaymore YouTube: melt Patreon: patreon.com/melt If you have a story to tell or a question to ask, email us at TransQuestioningPodcast@gmail.com or send an anonymous message at curiouscat.me/transquestioning TQ Twitter: @TransQPodcast Support Sarah Zedig on Patreon.com/LTAS or give a one-time donation at ko-fi.com/sarahzedig INTRO MUSIC by Zoestra COVER ART by @deervvitch If you are in crisis or just need a shoulder to cry on, please contact the Trans Lifeline for support at TransLifeline.org. | |||
| 24 Jun 2019 | To Destroy Capitalism You Must First Destroy Gender | 01:13:51 | |
What does gender even do, anyway? THIS WEEK: Sarah lectures a room full of undergrads on her theory that the existence of transgender people undermines the foundations of so-called western civilization. We also discuss trans healthcare, public perception, the importance of internalizing genderqueer politics, and little ways you can help the trans/enby folks in your life. ---- Do you have questions, stories, or other gender-related gripes you want to share? Support Sarah at Patreon.com/LTAS or give a one-time donation at ko-fi.com/sarahz For podcast updates, follow @TransQPodcast INTRO MUSIC by Zoestra COVER ART by @deervvitch If you are in crisis or just need a shoulder to cry on, please contact the Trans Lifeline for support at TransLifeline.org. | |||
| 27 Apr 2020 | Normal Isn't Neutral (with Sage) | 01:07:51 | |
Sarah is joined by locally infamous firebrand Sage to discuss life in late capitalism. Topics include: Good leftist podcasts, PHASE II, discord server politics meta, the compression of time, and VIOLENCE. If you have a story to tell or a question to ask, email us at TransQuestioningPodcast@gmail.com or send an anonymous message at curiouscat.me/transquestioning TQ Twitter: @TransQPodcast Support Sarah Zedig on Patreon.com/LTAS or give a one-time donation at ko-fi.com/sarahzedig INTRO MUSIC by Molly Noise COVER ART by @deervvitch If you are in crisis or just need a shoulder to cry on, please contact the Trans Lifeline for support at TransLifeline.org. | |||
| 12 Nov 2020 | Loud Everywhere Questions | 00:58:06 | |
Sarah returns with new questions for a world on fire. THIS WEEK: What the hell she's been doing the last seven months, feelings about the pandemic and the election, weird TMI dildo-based gender euphoria, the importance of playing with your identity, and plans for the future. Music by Molly Noise: https://linktr.ee/MollyNoise Cover Art by Deerwitch: @deervvitch Help support Sarah financially at patreon.com/ltas or ko-fi.com/sarahzedig for one-time donations. Sarah's Twitter: @hmsnofun Take care of yourselves. | |||
| 28 May 2022 | Breakfast of a Burnt-Out Worker | ||
Wake up to a world with room to spare.TQ is back! This week, Sarah makes breakfast, drinks some coffee, and then reads selections from Noel Ignatiev's Adequate Men, the memoir of a communist revolutionary working inside a steel mill in the 1970s. From there we discuss the nature of work in America today, the neoliberal project of decoupling labor from the workplace & erasing the ideological commitments of the labor movement, and why there is hope to be had for the future of the revolutionary movement. "Acceptable Men: Life in the Largest Steel Mill in the World" by Noel Ignatiev. Music by Molly Noise: https://linktr.ee/MollyNoise Cover Art by Deerwitch: @deervvitch Help support Sarah financially at patreon.com/ltas or ko-fi.com/sarahzedig for one-time donations. Sarah's Twitter: @hmsnofun Take care of yourselves. Find out more at https://trans-questioning-podcast.pinecast.co | |||
| 01 Apr 2020 | Just Another Normal Episode | 01:20:38 | |
Mars and Miles host TQ for a very standard and regular episode of the show. Do you have questions, stories, or other gender-related gripes you want to share? Support Sarah at Patreon.com/LTAS or give a one-time donation at ko-fi.com/sarahz For podcast updates, follow @TransQPodcast INTRO MUSIC by Zoestra COVER ART by @deervvitch If you are in crisis or just need a shoulder to cry on, please contact the Trans Lifeline for support at TransLifeline.org. | |||
| 27 May 2019 | Mia Mulder: The Real Nordic Model | 01:13:21 | |
The Swedish Empire expands! THIS WEEK: Youtuber Mia Mulder joins us to discuss the politics, weather, and media in Sweden, including the national pride that is The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, as well as an accounting of the one and only comedy the country has ever produced. And then, in perhaps the most riveting moment in TQ history, Mia shares the amazing story of her time as an activist. Follow and support Mia: Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/c/MiaMulder Twitter: @PotatoPolitics Do you have questions, stories, or other gender-related gripes you want to share? Support Sarah at Patreon.com/LTAS or give a one-time donation at ko-fi.com/sarahz For podcast updates, follow @TransQPodcast INTRO MUSIC by Zoestra COVER ART by @deervvitch If you are in crisis or just need a shoulder to cry on, please contact the Trans Lifeline for support at TransLifeline.org. | |||
| 29 Sep 2021 | The Last Episode of Trans Questioning (unless it isn't) | 01:07:00 | |
THIS WEEK: Trans Questioning is ending, whether now or a bit later. But something new will take its place, and this episode is an exploration of what that thing will be and why I feel compelled to make it a reality. NOTE: I was high and exhausted when I recorded this episode, and I did not listen to it for errors. I know that by the end I was spewing youthfully vague political generalities. I promise these discussions on Genderpunk will be a hell of a lot more specific. Music by Molly Noise: https://linktr.ee/MollyNoise Cover Art by Deerwitch: @deervvitch Help support Sarah financially at patreon.com/ltas or ko-fi.com/sarahzedig for one-time donations. Sarah's Twitter: @hmsnofun Take care of yourselves. Find out more at https://trans-questioning-podcast.pinecast.co | |||
| 11 Jul 2022 | Some Things You Learn About Yourself At Pride | 01:11:10 | |
Food is good and so are dogs, meta or otherwise.I went to Pride and felt like I was allowed to feel attraction to other people as a transgender woman! Topics include: my mom's recipe for "shit on a shingle," lessons from pride, lesser-discussed media stereotypes that had an outsized effect on my sense of self, a song i wrote called "meta dog," and what I learned about my socioeconomic upbringing from cooking aforementioned recipe. This one's packed so buckle in!!! Music by Molly Noise: https://linktr.ee/MollyNoise Cover Art by Deerwitch: @deervvitch Help support Sarah financially at comradery.co/sarahzedig, patreon.com/ltas or ko-fi.com/sarahzedig for one-time donations. Sarah's Twitter: @hmsnofun Take care of yourselves. Find out more at https://trans-questioning-podcast.pinecast.co | |||
| 05 Jun 2019 | Hormonal Melancholic Ennui | 00:20:22 | |
Now wait just a second, this isn't a Monday! THIS WEEK: Oops, we had technical difficulties. This is a short one to discuss the mental challenges of falling off HRT, untreated ADHD, and the general depression that comes with moving. ---- Do you have questions, stories, or other gender-related gripes you want to share? Support Sarah at Patreon.com/LTAS or give a one-time donation at ko-fi.com/sarahz For podcast updates, follow @TransQPodcast INTRO MUSIC by Zoestra COVER ART by @deervvitch If you are in crisis or just need a shoulder to cry on, please contact the Trans Lifeline for support at TransLifeline.org. | |||
| 21 Jan 2025 | TRANS QUESTIONING 2: EPISODE ZERO | 01:25:10 | |
THE TIME IS NOWAfter a lengthy hiatus, Trans Questioning is coming back! More importantly, I'm finally getting my beard lasered off! Covering the period from before my first laser session to after my second, this episode is an old school piecemeal TQ self-reflecting on why it's taken me long to get this process going, and what it means to my stalling transition. I also get tonsillitis. And through it all, naturally, I'm processing the newfound political reality in the USA as a trans woman, searching as always for a light at the end of the tunnel. Improbable as it may seem, I think I found one. For an explanation as to why this is "episode zero" of Trans Questioning "2," listen to the episode. It's the very first thing I talk about. Expect regular biweekly episodes starting sometime before spring 2025. Find out more at https://trans-questioning-podcast.pinecast.co | |||
| 13 May 2021 | Where The Hell Have You Been? | 01:01:27 | |
THIS WEEK: Wow, it sure is difficult getting your hands on the medications that make your brain work! Music by Molly Noise: https://linktr.ee/MollyNoise Cover Art by Deerwitch: @deervvitch Help support Sarah financially at patreon.com/ltas or ko-fi.com/sarahzedig for one-time donations. Sarah's Twitter: @hmsnofun Take care of yourselves. | |||
| 12 Mar 2025 | The Surgery & Other Anxieties (with Iris Jay) | 01:10:51 | |
Looks like we're blasting one off again!In the first interview episode of TQ2, Sarah talks to cartoonist Iris Jay about transgender surgeries, everything that goes into them, and what ultimately comes out. We also answer a listener question about whether you should come out at work! Be aware that this is an adult conversation that gets into some pretty gross nitty-gritty, so maybe don't listen to this one over a meal. Unless you're into that! CW: Surgery, needles, genital dysphoria, catheter horror, bodily fluids. Follow Iris elsewhere! Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/irisjaycomics.bsky.social Mastodon: https://shrike.club/@irisjaycomics@mellified.men Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/irisjay The Cartoonist Cooperative: https://cartoonist.coop/ Intro Music is "Roll Up Your Sleeves" by Molly Noise: https://linktr.ee/MollyNoise. Help support Sarah financially at patreon.com/ltas, comradery.co/sarahzedig or ko-fi.com/sarahzedig for one-time donations. Find her posts on mastodon, bluesky, and tumblr. Take care of yourselves. Find out more at https://trans-questioning-podcast.pinecast.co | |||
| 17 Jun 2019 | Nonbinary Friend-Finder Blues | 00:32:00 | |
Back on meds, let's get to some questions! THIS WEEK: We dig through our backlog of anonymous curiouscat asks, which flit mostly between themes of finding community and feeling unsure how to be nonbinary in a deeply binary world. Wow, same! Can Sarah single-handedly solve these common trans problems in just thirty minutes? Guess you'll have to listen and find out! ---- Do you have questions, stories, or other gender-related gripes you want to share? Support Sarah at Patreon.com/LTAS or give a one-time donation at ko-fi.com/sarahz For podcast updates, follow @TransQPodcast INTRO MUSIC by Zoestra COVER ART by @deervvitch If you are in crisis or just need a shoulder to cry on, please contact the Trans Lifeline for support at TransLifeline.org. | |||
| 08 Jul 2019 | Comorbid Disorderly Conduct of the Nonbinary Variety | 01:03:34 | |
Uh oh, Sarah's back and this time she has EMOTIONS. THIS WEEK: We discuss the psychological experience of being off and on HRT, as well as the comorbidity of mood disorders and learning disabilities, which makes it hard to diagnose things like ADHD, BPD, or bipolar. Hormones aren't a silver bullet for mood and habit, unfortunately! ALSO: A pair of emails, first about the state of transgender rights in the military in Singapore, and then asking about finding friends and salvaging damaged relationships after coming out. Do you have questions, stories, or other gender-related gripes you want to share? Support Sarah at Patreon.com/LTAS or give a one-time donation at ko-fi.com/sarahz For podcast updates, follow @TransQPodcast INTRO MUSIC by Zoestra COVER ART by @deervvitch If you are in crisis or just need a shoulder to cry on, please contact the Trans Lifeline for support at TransLifeline.org. | |||
| 21 Feb 2025 | What Goes Unsaid Does Not Exist | 00:55:28 | |
Laser Hair Removal Progress UpdateShe's three sessions deep into LHR and Sarah's feeling morose. While sifting through her feelings across several separate recordings, she discusses the stop-and-start nature of transition, the immateriality of intrusive thoughts, and the question of what comes next after laser has done its job. Intro Music is "Roll Up Your Sleeves" by Molly Noise: https://linktr.ee/MollyNoise. Help support Sarah financially at patreon.com/ltas, comradery.co/sarahzedig or ko-fi.com/sarahzedig for one-time donations. Find her posts on mastodon, bluesky, and tumblr. Take care of yourselves. Find out more at https://trans-questioning-podcast.pinecast.co | |||
| 23 Dec 2019 | Mediating Transmasculinity (with Dylan Clark) | 00:59:53 | |
THIS WEEK: Sarah is joined by video essayist Dylan Clark to discuss his videos on Contrapoints, Boys Don't Cry, Dorian Electra, and others. Topics include: redefining manhood, the invisibility of men's gynecology, fandom shipping as media analysis, media analysis as astrology, and a twenty five minute conversation about canonicity in Homestuck. Follow and support Dylan on... GoFundMe: DC Needs a Hysterectomy Youtube: Boyform Twitter: @InBoyForm If you have a story to tell or a question to ask, email us at TransQuestioningPodcast@gmail.com or send an anonymous message at curiouscat.me/transquestioning TQ Twitter: @TransQPodcast Support Sarah Zedig on Patreon.com/LTAS or give a one-time donation at ko-fi.com/sarahzedig INTRO MUSIC by Zoestra COVER ART by @deervvitch If you are in crisis or just need a shoulder to cry on, please contact the Trans Lifeline for support at TransLifeline.org. | |||
| 28 Jun 2022 | Doing Dishes at the End of the World | 01:07:50 | |
This is probably healthier than twitter, tbh.In this week's episode, I do the dishes and ramble about the overturning of Roe v Wade, the state of American labor, and the place of gender within the ongoing culture war. If you like ASMR, this one's for you. Music by Molly Noise: https://linktr.ee/MollyNoise Cover Art by Deerwitch: @deervvitch Help support Sarah financially at comradery.co/sarahzedig, patreon.com/ltas or ko-fi.com/sarahzedig for one-time donations. Sarah's Twitter: @hmsnofun Take care of yourselves. Find out more at https://trans-questioning-podcast.pinecast.co | |||
| 13 May 2019 | Molly.Noise: Stateside Booksmart Goth GF | 01:05:03 | |
The commie talk is coming from inside the house! THIS WEEK: Molly.Noise is stateside and holding my hand, because we're gay! We talk about the challenges of an international long distance relationship, the importance of judgment-free conversation in intimate moments, as well as what being a nonbinary trans person means to Sarah. This, of course, leads us to talking about socialist philosophy, anarchy, and the arbitrary nature of societal norms. We couldn't be more on brand if we tried, could we? Follow and support Molly: Bandcamp: mollynoise.bandcamp.com Twitter: @ImPureNoise Do you have questions, stories, or other gender-related gripes you want to share? Email us at TransQuestioningPodcast@gmail.com, or send an anonymous message to curiouscat.me/transquestioning Support Sarah at Patreon.com/LTAS or give a one-time donation at ko-fi.com/sarahzedig For podcast updates, follow @TransQPodcast You can find Sarah @hmsnofun INTRO MUSIC by Zoestra COVER ART by @deervvitch If you are in crisis or just need a shoulder to cry on, please contact the Trans Lifeline for support at TransLifeline.org. | |||
| 20 May 2019 | Spaces/Faces | 00:41:23 | |
Hello, I'm tired and hoarse. THIS WEEK:Sarah talks about moving to a new place in THE CITY, feeling dysphoric about facial hair, the lethargy of being low on medications, and also discusses the pros and cons of snapchat's genderswap selfie filter. The takes in this one are saucy. ---- Do you have questions, stories, or other gender-related gripes you want to share? Support Sarah at Patreon.com/LTAS or give a one-time donation at ko-fi.com/sarahz For podcast updates, follow @TransQPodcast INTRO MUSIC by Zoestra COVER ART by @deervvitch If you are in crisis or just need a shoulder to cry on, please contact the Trans Lifeline for support at TransLifeline.org. | |||
| 06 May 2019 | Sarah Becomes a Professional | 00:40:22 | |
Welcome back to my hovel. Do you like what I've done with the place? THIS WEEK: Sarah answers long, LONG overdue reader questions, touching on relationships troubled by dysphoria, whether to come out as trans when you have an STI, and fantasies of bodily rearrangement. ---- Do you have questions, stories, or other gender-related gripes you want to share? Support Sarah at Patreon.com/LTAS or give a one-time donation at ko-fi.com/sarahz For podcast updates, follow @TransQPodcast INTRO MUSIC by Zoestra COVER ART by @deervvitch. If you are in crisis or just need a shoulder to cry on, please contact the Trans Lifeline for support at TransLifeline.org. | |||
| 05 Aug 2019 | Sarah Zedig Talks About Left-Tube | 01:14:20 | |
Time to pour some milk on our faces and talk about LEFTWING MEDIA. THIS WEEK: Sarah shares some HRT updates before diving face first into some topical internet discourse by asking: what is left-tube, and is it a movement? Covers criticism of the "dirtbag left," the differences between left-tube / breadtube, a history of the likes of ContraPoints and others, Sarah's experience on youtube, left-tube's similarities with comedy non-journalism like The Daily Show, what it does well, what it does poorly, and how we could all be doing a lot better. Hint, the answer involves communism. Do you have questions, stories, or other gender-related gripes you want to share? Support Sarah at Patreon.com/LTAS or give a one-time donation at ko-fi.com/sarahz For podcast updates, follow @TransQPodcast INTRO MUSIC by Zoestra COVER ART by @deervvitch If you are in crisis or just need a shoulder to cry on, please contact the Trans Lifeline for support at TransLifeline.org. | |||
| 12 Dec 2018 | 2018: The Year That Just Won't Quit // A Happy Trans Holiday, Six Months on HRT, and a Very Special Announcement | 00:57:16 | |
Alternate title: This Is Fine (Take 3). THIS WEEK: It's been a hot minute since the last episode went up, huh? Sorry about that, life's been a hell. But the hell is almost over! We're near enough yet that we don't have to contemplate the worse damnation that will assuredly follow. In this episode, I discuss why I had to record this episode three separate times before being happy with it; some observations about hormone replacement therapy as I approach the six month mark; the weirdness of an unexpected thanksgiving; and, finally, I have a VSA regarding the future of this podcast. ---- If you are in crisis or just need a shoulder to cry on, please contact the Trans Lifeline for support at Translifeline.org. Do you have questions, stories, or other gender-related gripes you want to share? INTRO AND OUTRO MUSIC is the Mii Channel Theme JAZZ COVER by insaneintherainmusic. COVER ART is by the wonderful Emilee Bumgarner. Support me monthly on PATREON at Patreon.com/LTAS or with a one-time donation at ko-fi.com/sarahz | |||
| 29 Aug 2018 | Under the Influence of Estrogen (or, A Body Changes) // A Mailbag Tragedy | 01:07:06 | |
Two months on HRT and second puberty is in full swing. THIS WEEK: I discuss the various changes I've noticed after two months on feminizing hormones; suddenly Sarah is starting to exist; a series of digressions on topics various and sundry. ALSO: Very few people have sent me emails, so I've decided to give the spammers their due. It's time to discuss the tragedy of the late Dr. George Pascal, whose affairs in Burkina Faso promise to be profoundly lucrative. Do you have questions, stories, or other gender-related gripes you want to share? Email me at TransQuestioningPodcast@gmail.com INTRO MUSIC is the Mii Channel Theme JAZZ COVER by insaneintherainmusic. OUTRO MUSIC is A Settlement in Red Bluffs JAZZ COVER by insaneintherainmusic. COVER ART is by the wonderful Emilee Bumgarner. Support me on PATREON at Patreon.com/LTAS | |||
| 10 Jan 2018 | Carta Monir: If You Give a Teen an Internet, You Make Them Trans and Gay (12/20/2017) | 00:56:45 | |
Shut up, Zara! Let someone else talk for once. THIS WEEK: Carta Monir discusses the themes of her comics, the intersection of video games and real life, the way the internet exposes young people to new ideas, the way cis comfort is centered in trans coming out narratives, how comics are the best medium for depicting trans people, recommendations for where to buy cheap clothes, talking dead moms, indie comic recommendations, and plans for the future. Please follow Carta Monir on Twitter @cartamonir Here follows a list of all the comics we discussed/Carta explicitly recommended: INTRO/OUTRO MUSIC is the Mii Channel Theme JAZZ COVER by insaneintherainmusic. COVER ART is by the wonderful Emilee Bumgarner. Support me on PATREON at Patreon.com/LTAS | |||
| 27 Feb 2018 | Beginner's Guide to Laser Hair Removal: How, Why, and When (02/25/2018) | 01:03:32 | |
For the wayward soul who just wants to get blasted in the face by high-powered lasers. THIS WEEK: How to talk to professionals; why to get laser treatments; what laser hair removal is and how it works; how LHR compares to electrolysis in terms of time, pain, and cost; what a laser appointment looks like; LHR's longterm effectiveness; how to avoid outdated information; diversifying your porfolio of first-hand accounts from across the web; my experience with LHR, from length of the session to the particular sensation of the treatment itself; cost/benefit analysis and strategies for maximizing the effectiveness and cost of your treatments with hormone replacement therapy on the horizon; learning to overcome dysphoria; and at last, a few life updates involving pants, epilation, and Twin Peaks. NOTE: The audio of my actual LHR session has been drastically edited for time. It was short, but not that short. INTRO/OUTRO MUSIC is the Mii Channel Theme JAZZ COVER by insaneintherainmusic. COVER ART is by the wonderful Emilee Bumgarner. Support me on PATREON at Patreon.com/LTAS Do you have questions you want me to answer in an episode? Email me at TransQuestioningPodcast@gmail.com | |||
| 14 Mar 2018 | Diaries of a Cracked Egg (03/01/2018) | 00:42:15 | |
Looking back on those first days of accepting my transness. THIS WEEK: Reading Twitter threads from July, August, and September of 2017 about realizing I was transgender, doubting whether I was transgender, and then accepting that yeah, I was transgender. The influence of ContraPoints, Zinnia Jones, and assorted trans spotlights; "I'm definitely not trans" means you're probably trans; the importance of seeing the variety of transgender experiences, and how hairy, overweight, or otherwise atypical-bodied people transition; transition goals that have been met, to my own surprise; and the performance of an old poem that is, looking back, totally about body dysphoria. The blog I read from here was, essentially, the backdoor pilot of this very show. You can find it right here: https://zaraenthused.tumblr.com/ Do you have questions, stories, or other gender-related gripes you want to share? Email me at TransQuestioningPodcast@gmail.com INTRO/OUTRO MUSIC is the Mii Channel Theme JAZZ COVER by insaneintherainmusic. SARCASTIC SELF-PROMOTION MUSIC is sans. by Toby Fox. COVER ART is by the wonderful Emilee Bumgarner. Support me on PATREON at Patreon.com/LTAS | |||
| 27 Sep 2018 | Do you Need to Suffer to be Transgender? - EPISODE 30 // Genderqueer | 01:25:13 | |
It's the thirtieth episode, and a full year after recording episode one! THIS WEEK: Answering more spam mail, answering an actual listener question about whether one can be too well off to call themselves trans and begin transitition; discussing what has changed in the year since I came out, including the recent revelation that I am genderqueer; talking about the recent Contrapoints video "The Aesthetic" and some criticisms of it (I ended up making a video about this, which you can find right here), including the nature of unfulfilling and cynical art, and the lessons one might take from Nineteen Eighty-Four. Identity! What the h*ck is it? ---- Do you have questions, stories, or other gender-related gripes you want to share? Email me at TransQuestioningPodcast@gmail.com INTRO, OUTRO, and INTERSTITIAL MUSIC is the Mii Channel Theme JAZZ COVER by insaneintherainmusic. COVER ART is by the wonderful Emilee Bumgarner. Support me on PATREON at Patreon.com/LTAS | |||
| 27 Jun 2018 | #DropTheT and Queer Respectability Politics // HRT Diaries 001 | 01:02:22 | |
Am I emotions because drugs, or am I emotions because sad? THIS WEEK: My first ten days on hormone replacement therapy. What has changed? Has anything changed? How do I feel? Am I more irritable? Has my beard melted off yet? We also talk about #DropTheT, a twitter campaign by some in the LGBT community to drop the T, because unlike the lesbians, gays, and bis, the transgenders are [insert tired offensive anti-minority scapegoats that have been reused for every group to ever demand visibility]. While the campaign itself isn't much of anything, it does point to the growing a presence of a queer respectability politics. Now that many cisgender white gay folks have tasted normalcy, suddenly they have something to lose when transgender people become the subject of public outrage, and they would rather police what counts as legitimately queer than use their newfound privilege to stick up for those who still suffer. It's a tale as old as time, except it's 2018 and we're all going to die. Hurray! Do you have questions, stories, or other gender-related gripes you want to share? Email me at TransQuestioningPodcast@gmail.com INTRO/OUTRO MUSIC is the Mii Channel Theme JAZZ COVER by insaneintherainmusic. HRT DIARIES MUSIC is the Mirror Temple JAZZ COVER by insaneintherainmusic. COVER ART is by the wonderful Emilee Bumgarner. Support me on PATREON at Patreon.com/LTAS | |||
| 26 Oct 2018 | Emergency Episode: Terror and Despair in the Transgender Community | 00:56:25 | |
As this week comes to a close, it's hard not to feel like the US government is openly loading the gun they'll soon use for our execution. It's hard not to feel like you're going crazy as everyone else gaslights you by insisting that it's just a distraction from whatever the real problem is. Violence against transgender people is all too present already, but now we face the prospect of a mob of emboldened, bigoted blackshirts (or, in this case, redhats) taking their frustrations out on us without the fear of legal ramification. It's overwhelming, it's painful, it is traumatic. This episode is not a solution. I don't know what the solution could possibly be. I just know we need to feel entitled to our emotions if we want to survive the years to come. ---- Support me monthly on PATREON at Patreon.com/LTAS or with a one-time donation at ko-fi.com/sarahz be safe out there. | |||
| 23 Aug 2018 | Emily Lynch: The Secrets that Made Us / How To Trans | 01:03:36 | |
Tips and tricks from a 19 year old film nerd. THIS WEEK: The wonderful Emily Lynch stops by to talk about her experiences coming out as transgender to her parents, presenting full time, and the various strategies of making oneself accustomed to their new identity. There are many jokes and japes along the way (bonus points if you get my sick Dark Souls reference), including tales of sperm donation and movie journies. ALSO: I recount my final days in Italy, and preface the next episode, which does not yet exist for you (or it does, and you're in the future-present compared to my present-past (relative to your present)). It's a good time for all and sundry! Check out Emily's INTERWEB PRESENCE: Do you have questions, stories, or other gender-related gripes you want to share? Email me at TransQuestioningPodcast@gmail.com INTRO/OUTRO MUSIC is the Mii Channel Theme JAZZ COVER by insaneintherainmusic. COVER ART is by the wonderful Emilee Bumgarner. Support me on PATREON at Patreon.com/LTAS | |||
| 13 Dec 2017 | Emotional Breakdown ASMR (11/01/2017) | 00:54:21 | |
A grand old time with grand old emotions. WARNING: This one is EXACTLY what it says on the tin. Talking about figuring out you're trans just a liiitle too late, losing friends, losing family, struggling to find yourself, and ultimately how cathartic it can be to just let yourself feel emotions. INTRO/OUTRO MUSIC is the Mii Channel Theme JAZZ COVER by insaneintherainmusic. COVER ART is by the wonderful Emilee Bumgarner. Support me on PATREON at Patreon.com/LTAS Do you have questions you want me to answer in an episode? Email me at TransQuestioningPodcast@gmail.com | |||
| 29 Nov 2017 | On the Run from the Gender Police (10/10/2017) | 00:53:12 | |
"Weird is my thing." THIS WEEK: Do you have to "earn" your pronouns? The changing context of Facebook, a simple test to see if you're trans, an excerpt from Julia Serrano's "Whipping Girl," is passing as your preferred gender the end of the road? Obsessing over gender norms, expecting objectification, giving up the autonomy of a male body, the political danger of coming out as trans and the obligation you have to utilize your privilege to make other people's lives a little easier. This episode was recorded October 10th, 2017. INTRO/OUTRO MUSIC is the Mii Channel Theme JAZZ COVER by insaneintherainmusic. COVER ART is by the wonderful Emilee Bumgarner. Support me on PATREON at Patreon.com/LTAS Do you have questions you want me to answer in an episode? Email me at TransQuestioningPodcast@gmail.com | |||
| 14 Nov 2017 | Gender Confessions and a Death in the Family (9/29/17) | 00:48:34 | |
What does it mean to be transgender? Coming out is hard, and there's a lot of pressure to immediately start transition once you've gone public. But there is a lot we can learn about ourselves in the process of coming to terms with being transgender / nonbinary / genderqueer, and that is the focus of this podcast: to live in the question without an immediate need to reach an answer. The Trans Questioning Podcast is one newly-minted trans person's record of their thoughts throughout the questioning process, including the painful ones. Especially the painful ones. This episode was recorded September 29th, 2017. CONTENT WARNING: This episode contains frank discussion of depression, suicidal thoughts, and the death of a parent. INTRO/OUTRO MUSIC is the Mii Channel Theme JAZZ COVER by insaneintherainmusic. COVER ART is by the wonderful Emilee Bumgarner. Support me on PATREON at Patreon.com/LTAS Do you have questions you want me to answer in an episode? Email me at TransQuestioningPodcast@gmail.com | |||
| 03 Jan 2018 | Trans Dating in the Movies: A Parable (12/25/2017) | 00:48:40 | |
A thought experiment regarding representation. THIS WEEK: If you make a movie about a trans woman being assaulted by a cis man, you're saying all trans women will be assaulted. If you make a movie about a trans woman being accepted by a cis man, you're saying all trans women will be unconditionally accepted. In short: the compounding interest of mass storytelling in a world full of minorities desperate for representation presents a unique challenge for young storytellers. ALSO: Christmas day doubts, not having family to go home to, dealing with questions asked by a doubtful uncle, and a renewed sense of purpose as 2018 promises big changes for this budding trans woman. INTRO/OUTRO MUSIC is the Mii Channel Theme JAZZ COVER by insaneintherainmusic. COVER ART is by the wonderful Emilee Bumgarner. Support me on PATREON at Patreon.com/LTAS Do you have questions you want me to answer in an episode? Email me at TransQuestioningPodcast@gmail.com | |||
| 21 Dec 2018 | Navigating Holiday Hell // May Leitz Has Joined Your Party | 01:11:16 | |
Hot take, ice cream is better than Red Dead Redemption 2. THIS WEEK: It's May Leitz's first official episode as cohost! We discuss her reasons for jumping ship (in a good way), workshop future show segments, answer reader questions about how to deal with acquaintances/friends/family having an attitude about your transness, and how to feel sure in your identity when you haven't socially transitioned. May recommends Scorsese's After Hours and An American Werewolf in London, while Sarah recommends Mother 3 and thoroughly does not recommend Red Dead Redemption 2. ---- Check out May's new album She's Bleeding, You Asshole over at nyxfears.bandcamp.com, out on Christmas day! Watch for Sarah's new video In Transition at youtube.com/c/letstalkaboutstuff ---- If you are in crisis or just need a shoulder to cry on, please contact the Trans Lifeline for support at Translifeline.org. Do you have questions, stories, or other gender-related gripes you want to share? INTRO AND OUTRO MUSIC is the Mii Channel Theme JAZZ COVER by insaneintherainmusic. COVER ART is by the wonderful Emilee Bumgarner. Support Sarah at Patreon.com/LTAS or with a one-time donation at ko-fi.com/sarahz For podcast updates, follow@TransQPodcast | |||
| 19 May 2018 | Imposter Syndrome: The Arrogance of Validation (05/13/2018) | 00:47:11 | |
What happens when you really believe nothing you do is worth the space it occupies? THIS WEEK: A flurry of life updates, including film awards, clothing swaps, and joyful conversations; how being transgender and/or being an artist comes with the constant baggage of imposter syndrome, wondering if you really are what you are, if you're just wasting everybody's time; learning that it isn't arrogant to feel that what you have spent years working on is actually pretty good; and, as always, tackling the patriarchy and the dumb rhetoric used by the dopes trapped within it. Do you have questions, stories, or other gender-related gripes you want to share? Email me at TransQuestioningPodcast@gmail.com INTRO/OUTRO MUSIC is the Mii Channel Theme JAZZ COVER by insaneintherainmusic. SARCASTIC SELF-PROMOTION MUSIC is sans. by Toby Fox. COVER ART is by the wonderful Emilee Bumgarner. Support me on PATREON at Patreon.com/LTAS | |||
| 14 Feb 2018 | In Anticipation of Passing or Failing (02/09/2018) | 00:35:04 | |
When you're waiting to start, all you can think is what happens next. THIS WEEK: Questions about temporality, the bad sounds of piano, the body hair situation, how tweezers are the gateway drug to epilation, a quick first-hand account of what epilating feels like, a rant about noisy chairs, imagined placebo feminization, WHAT IS A PRETTY HAND???, the strawman of autogynephilia, the question of vocal coaching, David Lynch, the spirituality of being transgender, and an exerpt from a book that will probably never see the light of day. INTRO/OUTRO MUSIC is the Mii Channel Theme JAZZ COVER by insaneintherainmusic. COVER ART is by the wonderful Emilee Bumgarner. Support me on PATREON at Patreon.com/LTAS Do you have questions you want me to answer in an episode? Email me at TransQuestioningPodcast@gmail.com | |||
| 12 Apr 2018 | Is This What Being Human Feels Like? (04/11/2018) | 00:52:03 | |
Fun fact: sometimes coming out as transgender can be a good thing! THIS WEEK: I had my third laser appointment and it wasn't (as) miserable! Searching for grad school, giving mock lectures, finding a passion, working on a youtube show and a podcast while also trying to find hormones and do lasers and be able to pay bills all at once; having something to live for; learning to feel alright about oneself. Barebones by way of topics this week, but dense in terms of verbiage! Do you have questions, stories, or other gender-related gripes you want to share? Email me at TransQuestioningPodcast@gmail.com INTRO/OUTRO MUSIC is the Mii Channel Theme JAZZ COVER by insaneintherainmusic. SARCASTIC SELF-PROMOTION MUSIC is sans. by Toby Fox. COVER ART is by the wonderful Emilee Bumgarner. Support me on PATREON at Patreon.com/LTAS | |||
| 16 Jan 2019 | Kallen Chi: Comics, Cartooning, and Ambiguous Identities | 01:16:46 | |
Time to expose the TRUTH about the Cal Arts style. THIS WEEK: Sarah has a conversation with nonbinary artist Kallen Chi (they/them), a graduate of Cal Arts and a professional cartoonist and animator. We discuss what got them into animation, the intersections of the transmasculine and transfeminine experience, the difficulties of discussing gender with your family, the importance of finding friends, and the misconceptions of hormone replacement therapy for transmasculine people. ALSO: Kallen brought a list of notable genderqueering media and creators, and among these we tackle Evangelion, Persona 4, Wandering Son, and My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness. ---- Find Kallen on twitter @kallenchi The episode where I answered Kallen's original question is titled This Is Just An Advice Show Now. ---- Do you have questions, stories, or other gender-related gripes you want to share? Support Sarah at Patreon.com/LTAS or give a one-time donation at ko-fi.com/sarahz For podcast updates, follow@TransQPodcast INTRO AND OUTRO MUSIC is the Mii Channel Theme JAZZ COVER by insaneintherainmusic. COVER ART is by the wonderful Emilee Bumgarner. If you are in crisis or just need a shoulder to cry on, please contact the Trans Lifeline for support at Translifeline.org. | |||
| 09 Jan 2019 | Let's Talk 2019 // Yesterday's Nightmare, Tomorrow's Dream | 01:13:55 | |
One hell year down, another hell year begins. THIS WEEK: Sarah and May discuss the concurrent release of their latest passion projects, both of which are deeply emotional explorations of trauma and the transgender experience. We discuss some hopes for 2019, May details her brand new body modifications, we address a reader question about coming out as a teen in the American South, and generally pledge to wreck stuff. May recommends Venom and Aquaman, Sarah recommends Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse. ---- May's album, She's Bleeding, You Asshole: nyxfears.bandcamp.com/album/shes-bleeding-you-asshole Sarah's video, A Video About Transitioning: youtu.be/3PClMhVAQWg ---- Do you have questions, stories, or other gender-related gripes you want to share? Support Sarah at Patreon.com/LTAS or give a one-time donation at ko-fi.com/sarahz For podcast updates, follow@TransQPodcast INTRO AND OUTRO MUSIC is the Mii Channel Theme JAZZ COVER by insaneintherainmusic. COVER ART is by the wonderful Emilee Bumgarner. If you are in crisis or just need a shoulder to cry on, please contact the Trans Lifeline for support at Translifeline.org. | |||
| 10 Oct 2018 | Life Complicates; Life Simplifies // Nonbinary Vagaries and Listener Questions | 01:10:13 | |
Sometimes, things are okay. THIS WEEK: Discussing the sudden quintupling of my audience following the release of a video about Natalie Wynn of ContraPoints; answering listener questions about nonbinary identity, internal transgender repression, and the need for identifying one's birth gender within the discourse; the nasty insinuations of the healthy that one needs only to just "do it" to get healthy, and how difficult it truly is for someone with a mood disorder to live a healthy lifestyle. ---- Do you have questions, stories, or other gender-related gripes you want to share? INTRO AND OUTRO MUSIC is the Mii Channel Theme JAZZ COVER by insaneintherainmusic. COVER ART is by the wonderful Emilee Bumgarner. Support me on PATREON at Patreon.com/LTAS | |||
| 14 Nov 2017 | Trust Your Gut: The Best Worst Advice (10/4/2017) | 00:42:20 | |
THIS WEEK: What lead me to realize I was transgender, how I feel about being trans, the magical thinking of gender questioning, the infuriating subjectivity of gender, how depression lies, why the best and worst advice is "trust your gut," and what to feel after a Twitter argument. What does it mean to be transgender? Coming out is hard, and there's a lot of pressure to immediately start transition once you've gone public. But there is a lot we can learn about ourselves in the process of coming to terms with being transgender / nonbinary / genderqueer, and that is the focus of this podcast: to live in the question without an immediate need to reach an answer. The Trans Questioning Podcast is one newly-minted trans person's record of their thoughts throughout the questioning process, including the painful ones. Especially the painful ones. This episode was recorded October 4th, 2017. CONTENT WARNING: This episode contains frank discussion of depression. INTRO/OUTRO MUSIC is the Mii Channel Theme JAZZ COVER by insaneintherainmusic. COVER ART is by the wonderful Emilee Bumgarner. Support me on PATREON at Patreon.com/LTAS Do you have questions you want me to answer in an episode? Email me at TransQuestioningPodcast@gmail.com | |||
| 19 Sep 2018 | May Leitz: Embracing Vulnerability, and the Freedom of Performance | 01:25:55 | |
When you come out as transgender, the freedom of Halloween is every single day. THIS WEEK: I talk to video essayist and host of youtube show Nyx Fears, May Leitz! We discuss the hell that is life in the DFW metroplex, what it's like coming out as trans to an existing fanbase, how she figured out her transness, how she navigates dysphoria, the ambiguities of identity and the challenges of articulation, where she got her name, what the heck a "woman" looks like, and how Halloween is basically Transgender Christmas. ALSO: A lengthy discussion about vulnerability and earnestness in online media criticism, particularly on youtube, and our problems with the over-valuation of "objective" criticism. ---- Please watch May's coming out video "The Truth" right here, and follow the links below to all her other stuff. YOUTUBE MAIN:Nyx Fears ---- Do you have questions, stories, or other gender-related gripes you want to share? Email me at TransQuestioningPodcast@gmail.com INTRO/OUTRO MUSIC is the Mii Channel Theme JAZZ COVER by insaneintherainmusic. INTERSTITIAL MUSIC is Rosalina's Comet Theme JAZZ COVER by insaneintherainmusic. COVER ART is by the wonderful Emilee Bumgarner. Support me on PATREON at Patreon.com/LTAS | |||
| 20 Feb 2019 | We Invented Love: Remembering the Mermaids Charity Stream // FEATURING MANY GUESTS, and also hbomb | 01:24:32 | |
The dust has settled on the DK64 Nightmare Stream that raised over three hundred thousand dollars for transgender support charity Mermaids. Now, it is time to reflect. THIS WEEK: Sarah, May, and Elliot recount their experiences interacting with the likes of Cody Johnston, Chelsea Manning, and Chuck Tingle on the stream. ALSO: Twenty-one special guests share their feelings about the stream, either as viewers or participants (or, in one case, the instigator). You can find the timecode of their appearances below, as well as their twitter handles where provided. (also, in the intro, Sarah said Jan 2018 when she meant 2019. she wholeheartedly apologizes for being human) ---- Henlo Birb | 0:03:35 | @lastplacesnazztplace [instagram] ---- Podcast: @transqpodcast ---- Do you have questions, stories, or other gender-related gripes you want to share? Support Sarah at Patreon.com/LTAS or give a one-time donation at ko-fi.com/sarahz INTRO AND OUTRO MUSIC is by Zoestra, whose music can be found at SoundCloud.com/Zoestra COVER ART is by the wonderful Emilee Bumgarner. If you are in crisis or just need a shoulder to cry on, please contact the Trans Lifeline for support at TransLifeline.org. | |||
| 07 Nov 2018 | Molly.Noise: Ironic Self-Deprecation is OUT, Actually Liking Yourself is IN | 01:28:08 | |
You're not garbage, okay? THIS WEEK: A conversation with transgender musician & political theorist Molly.Noise! We discuss the subtle ways language assumes maleness, the insidious ways we destroy ourselves to fit in, how we systematically devalue our art and our work in order to seem humble, the ways we apologize for existing, the ways we situate ourselves as closeted trans people in sex and relationships, the mirror phase of development in relation to gender performance, and so much more. What a conversation this was! ---- Molly's Stuff! Bandcamp:mollynoise.bandcamp.com ---- Do you have questions, stories, or other gender-related gripes you want to share? INTRO AND OUTRO MUSIC is the Mii Channel Theme JAZZ COVER by insaneintherainmusic. COVER ART is by the wonderful Emilee Bumgarner. Support me monthly on PATREON at Patreon.com/LTAS or with a one-time donation at ko-fi.com/sarahz | |||
| 24 Oct 2018 | My Existence is Non-Negotiable, Even In 2018 // DHS Gender Memo & Reader Questions | 01:18:51 | |
That's right, you've been reading this podcast all along! THIS WEEK: Is it time to panic yet? Are we allowed to panic? Is it time to finally start saying, hey, maybe the States are in a bit of a pickle vis-a-vis fascism and blackshirt violence? Is the alarm only valid when it's rung by a straight cis able-bodied white guy? Am I being sensationalist by earnestly googling how to gtfo of the country? Am I losing my mind right now? Because it feels like I'm losing my mind right now. ALSO: Coming out to family, how to dress in gender-affirming clothes without outing yourself to the world, and a disappointing aside about western RPGs. ---- Do you have questions, stories, or other gender-related gripes you want to share? INTERSTITIAL MUSIC is the Mirror Temple JAZZ COVER by insaneintherainmusic. INTRO AND OUTRO MUSIC is the Mii Channel Theme JAZZ COVER by insaneintherainmusic. COVER ART is by the wonderful Emilee Bumgarner. Support me monthly on PATREON at Patreon.com/LTAS or with a one-time donation at ko-fi.com/sarahz | |||
| 24 Jan 2018 | Names and Genitals: The Conversations We Never Have (01/16/2018) | 00:47:46 | |
How do you find a new name for a new you? THIS WEEK: My habit of connecting names to characters; the unintuitive intuition it takes to find a new name; the incomprehensibility of the universe; the terror of going out in girl mode for the very first time publicly; "transition" as an actual phase; nervous hair plucking tics; talking frankly about SEX REASSIGNMENT SURGERY (which I incorrectly refer to as "gender reassignment surgery"); the specifics of SRS for trans women; how it feels when you aren't the trans person who hates your genitals or your entire body; trying to find some peace with yourself. INTRO/OUTRO MUSIC is the Mii Channel Theme JAZZ COVER by insaneintherainmusic. COVER ART is by the wonderful Emilee Bumgarner. Support me on PATREON at Patreon.com/LTAS Do you have questions you want me to answer in an episode? Email me at TransQuestioningPodcast@gmail.com | |||
| 06 Dec 2017 | Drugs, Traps, and Transphobes (10/18/2017) | 01:03:26 | |
In the mood for patriarchy. THIS WEEK: Turns out I have bipolar, the wonderful effects of drugs, society's puritanical dislike of drugs, how we treat alcoholics, comorbidity in disorders, what's it like to feel normal? A long rant about how terrible "trap" is as a way to refer to trans people, and another long rant reacting to a series of hilariously transphobic tweets. INTRO/OUTRO MUSIC is the Mii Channel Theme JAZZ COVER by insaneintherainmusic. COVER ART is by the wonderful Emilee Bumgarner. Support me on PATREON at Patreon.com/LTAS Do you have questions you want me to answer in an episode? Email me at TransQuestioningPodcast@gmail.com | |||
| 12 Sep 2018 | One Simple Trick for the Cis to Help their Trans Friends -TERFs Hate It! | 00:56:20 | |
#ihaveagramophone. Make it trend, or I walk. THIS WEEK: Melancholy in the Sarah's world; the loneliness of Italy without friends at home to talk to; revisiting your journal is ALWAYS a bad idea; reflections on my conversation with Shannon Strucci in the previous episode; fear of asking friends and colleagues to respect your new name and chosen pronouns; the stress of being a stealth transgender person in college; good reactions from friends and family; how cis people can help trans people. Do you have questions, stories, or other gender-related gripes you want to share? Email me at TransQuestioningPodcast@gmail.com INTRO MUSIC is the Mii Channel Theme JAZZ COVER by insaneintherainmusic. INTERSTITIAL MUSIC is the Mirror Temple JAZZ COVER by insaneintherainmusic. OUTRO MUSIC is the Mor Adain - Roaming the Wastes JAZZ COVER by insaneintherainmusic. COVER ART is by the wonderful Emilee Bumgarner. Support me on PATREON at Patreon.com/LTAS | |||
| 28 Mar 2018 | Research is the Antidote for Hopelessness (03/20/2018) | 00:56:19 | |
When transitioning, it helps to look at the bigger picture. THIS WEEK: Impatiently waiting for laser hair removal to yield a fruitfully barren face; facial hair as a barrier to seeing myself as my preferred gender; wishing for a transgender data nexus; pros and cons of going the less-than-legal route for hormone replacement therapy; am I imagining progress? Hairgrowth cycles and why LHR takes so long; trying to make friends and find a trans/NB community; failed attempts at socializing; a crowded trans friendly board game night; the euphoria of being gendered correctly; and a few words about my recently released video about Twin Peaks. Do you have questions, stories, or other gender-related gripes you want to share? Email me at TransQuestioningPodcast@gmail.com INTRO/OUTRO MUSIC is the Mii Channel Theme JAZZ COVER by insaneintherainmusic. COVER ART is by the wonderful Emilee Bumgarner. Support me on PATREON at Patreon.com/LTAS | |||
| 30 May 2018 | Selfies of the Soul (05/26/2018) | 00:57:02 | |
Sometimes the healthiest identity is a constructed identity. THIS WEEK: The stress of friends moving across the country, the stress of losing friends altogether; plans for starting hormone replacement therapy, and considering internationl travel in the early stages of HRT; discussing Carta Monir's selfies; the power of selfies to reclaim personal agency; the means by which society robs everyone of their agency, but tricks heterosexual, cisgender, white, male, able-bodied folks that all their privilege is a result of their efforts; we get into something of a sticky wicket by way of comparing apples and oranges; as always, punch nazis. Here is a link to Carta Monir's piece about selfies for Them. Magazine: https://www.them.us/story/selfies-and-trans-visibility Do you have questions, stories, or other gender-related gripes you want to share? Email me at TransQuestioningPodcast@gmail.com INTRO/OUTRO MUSIC is the Mii Channel Theme JAZZ COVER by insaneintherainmusic. SARCASTIC SELF-PROMOTION MUSIC is sans. by Toby Fox. COVER ART is by the wonderful Emilee Bumgarner. Support me on PATREON at Patreon.com/LTAS | |||
| 05 Sep 2018 | Shannon Strucci: The One-Way Road to Obsession | 01:06:56 | |
It's time to dish about the creeps that make life miserable for women on the internet. THIS WEEK: I talk to youtuber Shannon Strucci, hot off the release of her feature-length video essay about parasocial relationships. We discuss how death in the family (especially parents) can other you from friends and colleagues, the gross and creepy harassment a successful woman gets, how gender affects one's success on a public media platform, the weird real life fanfic written about Jacksepticeye and Markiplier, what it's like being a woman on a film set, and much more! ---- Check out Shannon Strucci's incredible series about parasocial relationships, Fake Friends: You can follow and support Shannon on the following platforms: ---- Do you have questions, stories, or other gender-related gripes you want to share? Email me at TransQuestioningPodcast@gmail.com INTRO MUSIC is the Mii Channel Theme JAZZ COVER by insaneintherainmusic. INTERSTITIAL and OUTRO MUSIC is the Ice Cap Zone JAZZ COVER by insaneintherainmusic. COVER ART is by the wonderful Emilee Bumgarner. Support me on PATREON at Patreon.com/LTAS ($5 patrons get 10 whole minutes of conversation that were cut from this episode!) | |||
| 14 Dec 2018 | So You Want To Ruin Your Life: The Definitive Guide to Being a Youtuber (featuring May Leitz) | 01:21:08 | |
Sometimes, the best advice is DON'T. THIS WEEK: I visited the home of May Leitz to talk about our mutual self-harm practice of making videos for the internet. In this candid, flighty, stream-of-consciousness conversation, we discuss how we choose the topics we want to cover, how to deal with weird or negative viewer feedback, what it's like to be a transgender youtuber, as well as all those wild hot tips you need to disregard in order to find your own success. Despite her wishes, you can find May on Twitter @nyxfears, where you can also track down all her other work. Watch her bandcamp for the release of her amazing new album on Christmas day! ---- If you are in crisis or just need a shoulder to cry on, please contact the Trans Lifeline for support at Translifeline.org. Do you have questions, stories, or other gender-related gripes you want to share? INTRO AND OUTRO MUSIC is the Mii Channel Theme JAZZ COVER by insaneintherainmusic. COVER ART is by the wonderful Emilee Bumgarner. Support me monthly on PATREON at Patreon.com/LTAS or with a one-time donation at ko-fi.com/sarahz | |||
| 13 Jun 2018 | Taking the Plunge: Contemplating Hormone Replacement Therapy (06/11/2018) | 00:36:38 | |
The day of the appointment looms, and stress begins to take hold. THIS WEEK: A shorter episode due to surprises. Getting ready for my trip to a women's center to get bloodwork done for HRT, but is it what I want? Is it a waste of time? We also talk briefly about E3 and... not a heck of a lot else. Do you have questions, stories, or other gender-related gripes you want to share? Email me at TransQuestioningPodcast@gmail.com INTRO/OUTRO MUSIC is the Mii Channel Theme JAZZ COVER by insaneintherainmusic. SARCASTIC SELF-PROMOTION MUSIC is sans. by Toby Fox. COVER ART is by the wonderful Emilee Bumgarner. Support me on PATREON at Patreon.com/LTAS | |||
| 27 Dec 2017 | The Benefits of Dead Parents (11/20/2017) | 00:43:40 | |
Sometimes having a hard life makes life easier. THIS WEEK: A couple comic recommendations, male privilege as a trans woman, bad family, identifying with anime cat girls and furry characters, the shame of stuff for girls, internalized misogyny, violence against women in media, and my plans for the new year. INTRO/OUTRO MUSIC is the Mii Channel Theme JAZZ COVER by insaneintherainmusic. COVER ART is by the wonderful Emilee Bumgarner. Support me on PATREON at Patreon.com/LTAS Do you have questions you want me to answer in an episode? Email me at TransQuestioningPodcast@gmail.com | |||
| 17 Jan 2018 | The Tantalizing Future of Cis-Medical Discrimination (01/05/2018) | 00:45:48 | |
Transgender healthcare advice is best served from uneducated cisgender practitioners. THIS WEEK: 2018 plans (again); spending time with family; more doubts about being trans; what would have helped me come out sooner?; a dream of normalcy that is probably too good to be true; crossdressing advice from a friend; a twitter thread from @transscribe where trans people discuss the many, many, many ways they've been ignored, ill-served, or outright abused by a poorly trained and biased medical establishment. INTRO/OUTRO MUSIC is the Mii Channel Theme JAZZ COVER by insaneintherainmusic. COVER ART is by the wonderful Emilee Bumgarner. Support me on PATREON at Patreon.com/LTAS Do you have questions you want me to answer in an episode? Email me at TransQuestioningPodcast@gmail.com | |||
| 05 Nov 2018 | This Is Just An Advice Show Now // "What If I'm Not Trans?" and Other Reader Questions | 00:47:04 | |
I have finally embraced the inevitable evolution of this podcast into a self-help advice show. THIS WEEK: The fear of coming out and transitioning even when support is likely; the gravity of secrets and the allure of questions left unanswered; the complications of being a transgender man and the child of immigrants; how to con your ungrateful parents out of money and live your best life; why your ungrateful parents are trash and how you don't owe them a dang thing; reiterating the fact that it is okay to come out as trans but to desist later. Seriously! Coming out as trans is not a fact you've carved out in stone. Identity is weird and it's all a subjective nightmare. Stop stressing and just experiment! ---- Do you have questions, stories, or other gender-related gripes you want to share? INTRO AND OUTRO MUSIC is the Mii Channel Theme JAZZ COVER by insaneintherainmusic. COVER ART is by the wonderful Emilee Bumgarner. Support me monthly on PATREON at Patreon.com/LTAS or with a one-time donation at ko-fi.com/sarahz | |||
| 23 Jan 2019 | Three Trans Friends (Part 1) // Live Show Hot Takes, Butterfly Fascism, and What To Do When You Misgender Someone | 00:58:14 | |
Let's get salty. THIS WEEK: We discuss the Nyx Fears live show, May's appearance on a certain male-dominated livestream, the commonality of mansplaining, Dark Souls hot takes, why video games are bad, uncovering the awful truth behind @Mothcub's rosy exterior, how tattoos and piercings are trans body modification, the transmasculine experience, how we destroy ourselves with cynicism and self-deprecation, and we get honest about misgendering. ---- Follow Elliot on Twitter @yourparentscoke ---- Do you have questions, stories, or other gender-related gripes you want to share? Support Sarah at Patreon.com/LTAS or give a one-time donation at ko-fi.com/sarahz For podcast updates, follow@TransQPodcast INTRO AND OUTRO MUSIC is by Zoestra, whose music can be found at SoundCloud.com/Zoestra COVER ART is by the wonderful Emilee Bumgarner. If you are in crisis or just need a shoulder to cry on, please contact the Trans Lifeline for support at TransLifeline.org. | |||
| 24 Jan 2019 | Three Trans Friends (Part 2) // Policing Womanhood, Transmasc v Transfem, and the Hard Questions No One Asks | 01:00:45 | |
The Discourse continues in part 2! THIS WEEK: Misogyny in the trans community, the anger of the observer, the outrage of the unhappy, what it means to build a trans community, differences between transgender men and transgender women, complicated questions about ourselves and our media that don't make for pithy youtube videos, The Elliot Test, movies as a magic trick everyone wants to spoil, youtube as a recursive echo chamber, and toxic attitudes towards fandom. Elliot and May recommend early 2000's horror movies, Sarah recommends overly expensive out-of-print Twin Peaks memorabilia. ---- Follow Elliot on Twitter @yourparentscoke ---- Do you have questions, stories, or other gender-related gripes you want to share? Support Sarah at Patreon.com/LTAS or give a one-time donation at ko-fi.com/sarahz For podcast updates, follow@TransQPodcast INTRO AND OUTRO MUSIC is by Zoestra, whose music can be found at SoundCloud.com/Zoestra COVER ART is by the wonderful Emilee Bumgarner. If you are in crisis or just need a shoulder to cry on, please contact the Trans Lifeline for support at TransLifeline.org. | |||
| 14 Nov 2018 | Tomorrow Isn't Written // 49 Percent of the Electorate Showed Up, and We Are Alive | 01:06:27 | |
So many people engaged in their civic duty! THIS WEEK: Discussing the lunacy of "identifying" as a younger person; a crisis of mental health among trans people; good news from Massachusetts and Colorado; discussing the truly historic turnout of the 2018 midterms and how people disappointed by the "blue wave" aren't looking close enough; perhaps fascism can be stopped before it causes truly irreparable harm? ALSO: Reader questions about the distinction between nonbinary people and transgender people, and the challenges of discovering your transness much later in life; plus some updates about future projects from your Very Productive Girl! ---- SOURCES: Historic Midterm Turnout: http://time.com/5452258/midterm-elections-turnout/ Implications of Blue Wave: https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2018/11/midterms-blue-wave-statistics-data-analysis.html You Can Still Be Transgender If You Don't Feel Dysphoria: https://everydayfeminism.com/2016/05/transgender-without-dysphoria/ 6 Affirmations for People Who Don't Feel Trans Enough: https://everydayfeminism.com/2017/03/trans-folk-dont-feel-trans-enough/ Reddit Thread - Realizing You're Trans At Later Age: https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/3twom2/who_else_on_here_didnt_know_they_were_trans_until/ Trauma and Transness: https://letsqueerthingsup.com/2016/01/16/trauma-and-transness-why-i-didnt-always-know-i-was-transgender/ What It's Like to Transition at 70: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/gender-affirmation-surgery_us_5bb3a27be4b0d1ebe0e568f0 ---- If you are in crisis or just need a shoulder to cry on, please contact the Trans Lifeline for support at Translifeline.org. Do you have questions, stories, or other gender-related gripes you want to share? INTRO AND OUTRO MUSIC is the Mii Channel Theme JAZZ COVER by insaneintherainmusic. COVER ART is by the wonderful Emilee Bumgarner. Support me monthly on PATREON at Patreon.com/LTAS or with a one-time donation at ko-fi.com/sarahz | |||
| 22 Nov 2017 | "Am I trans enough?" and Other Ridiculous Questions (10/7/17) | 00:51:09 | |
Hierarchies as far as the eye can see! THIS WEEK: Discussing an email sent to Laura Kate Dale, ranting about the absurdity of gender norms, late night depression and doubts, desperately wanting a nerd shirt, changing attitudes, remembering a mock debate about don't ask don't tell, and learning to live with your own problems. This episode was recorded October 7th, 2017. WARNING: This episode contains frank discussion of dysphoric emotions, depression, and suicidal thoughts. INTRO/OUTRO MUSIC is the Mii Channel Theme JAZZ COVER by insaneintherainmusic. COVER ART is by the wonderful Emilee Bumgarner. Support me on PATREON at Patreon.com/LTAS Do you have questions you want me to answer in an episode? Email me at TransQuestioningPodcast@gmail.com | |||
| 25 Apr 2018 | Trans News Roundup: A Primal Scream of Existential Dread (04/20/2018) | 01:01:04 | |
What's going on in the world today? Probably nothing good! THIS WEEK: Updates about my life, including having a pleasant 4/20 (no relation); federal court overturns transgender military ban, which is a... good thing?; Boston's anti-discrimination laws protecting trans folks are on the ballot again, because the GOP really wants mandatory crotch inspections at every bathroom door; if you're going to make propaganda, at least put some money into it; Sarah has a crisis and slowly melts into a puddle of stress. Do you have questions, stories, or other gender-related gripes you want to share? Email me at TransQuestioningPodcast@gmail.com INTRO/OUTRO MUSIC is the Mii Channel Theme JAZZ COVER by insaneintherainmusic. SARCASTIC SELF-PROMOTION MUSIC is sans. by Toby Fox. COVER ART is by the wonderful Emilee Bumgarner. Support me on PATREON at Patreon.com/LTAS | |||
| 20 Dec 2017 | Trans People Know What Cis People Know (11/04/2017) | 00:57:43 | |
Did you think we forgot? THIS WEEK: Talking about podcast hosting, fearing friends talking behind your back, taking and giving good writing advice, how cis people talk about trans people, how fascists talk about everyone, how Thor:Ragnarok made me realize that I'm a lesbian, and all of this while shaving. INTRO/OUTRO MUSIC is the Mii Channel Theme JAZZ COVER by insaneintherainmusic. COVER ART is by the wonderful Emilee Bumgarner. Support me on PATREON at Patreon.com/LTAS Do you have questions you want me to answer in an episode? Email me at TransQuestioningPodcast@gmail.com | |||
| 25 Jul 2018 | Transgender Existence is Fascist Resistance // HRT Diaries 003 | 00:45:40 | |
When they demand that you disappear into the shadows again, the only choice is illumination. THIS WEEK: The GOP doesn't want LGBT people to adopt children, and of course this will disproprtionately effect the T; what happens when a fascist dictator blames a minority group for society's ills, cons the people into persecuting them, persecutes them successfully, and the ills of society remain unaddressed? Why, it's time to pick another minority, of course! Given the current political climate, is it such a jump to think that transgender people are next in line? They want us to go away, which is why we must make ourselves more public than ever. ALSO: Updates on being in Italy, including being sick, missing Pompeii, and sorting through pictures; asking myself when I'll feel comfortable thinking of myself as a woman; pondering the various developments of two months on hormone replacement therapy and whether they're real or just in my head. Do you have questions, stories, or other gender-related gripes you want to share? Email me at TransQuestioningPodcast@gmail.com INTRO/OUTRO MUSIC is the Mii Channel Theme JAZZ COVER by insaneintherainmusic. COVER ART is by the wonderful Emilee Bumgarner. Support me on PATREON at Patreon.com/LTAS | |||
| 10 Jul 2018 | Update from the Italian Front // HRT Diaries 002 | 00:23:25 | |
I'm elsewhere! Wow! THIS WEEK: A shorter episode digging into the conflicted feelings of an early transition trans person having to go boymode in another country for a month, looking for changes from HRT, and maybe feeling a little more calm? Hmmm. Do you have questions, stories, or other gender-related gripes you want to share? Email me at TransQuestioningPodcast@gmail.com INTRO/OUTRO MUSIC is the Mii Channel Theme JAZZ COVER by insaneintherainmusic. COVER ART is by the wonderful Emilee Bumgarner. Support me on PATREON at Patreon.com/LTAS | |||
| 06 Mar 2019 | Who Am I Now: Identity After Transition // Seven Months HRT and Other Updates | 00:48:03 | |
Woah, wait, where's the other girl? THIS WEEK: It's just Sarah! Like old times, eh? Discussing body developments after seven months on hormone replacement therapy, the stresses of being a transgender youtuber, and how to build yourself back up after years of basing your layers on other people's expectations. ---- Do you have questions, stories, or other gender-related gripes you want to share? Support Sarah at Patreon.com/LTAS or give a one-time donation at ko-fi.com/sarahz For podcast updates, follow@TransQPodcast INTRO AND OUTRO MUSIC is by Zoestra, whose music can be found at SoundCloud.com/Zoestra COVER ART is by the wonderful Emilee Bumgarner. If you are in crisis or just need a shoulder to cry on, please contact the Trans Lifeline for support at TransLifeline.org. | |||