Till The Wheels Fall Off (TWFO Couple - Matt & Paige Robinson)
Explorez tous les épisodes de Till The Wheels Fall Off
| Date | Titre | Durée | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 14 Sep 2022 | What Is TWFO? | 00:17:44 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! In this episode we introduce ourselves and explain what TWFO is and what we plan to accomplish with you! Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 21 Sep 2022 | Contentment - Living at Peace | 00:32:52 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Contentment is an emotional state of satisfaction brought on by being at ease with one's current situation, body, and mind. It's also more elusive than ever and a state we all seek unknowingly. Contentment and living at peace cannot be achieved through purchases, reaching a particular status, or through sheer will. True contentment comes through rearranging priorities, controlling expectations, and taking our hands off of the results of our efforts. We explore what true contentment means and ways to gauge the degree to which we are trying to control the world around us as well as ways to center our minds toward living in contentment. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 28 Sep 2022 | 8 Tips for Productive Fights | 00:35:48 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Fighting is inevitable in any relationship. We fight to be heard, to voice dissent, and sometimes we fight for no reason at all. Nearly everyone fights but do you know how to fight productively? How to fight fair? In this episode we examine the dynamics of a fight and offer solutions on how to fight fair. We’ll also share some of our toxic traits and share stories on what a typical argument looks in our home. Fights can be productive and lead to a stronger relationship and we’ll show you how. We all have bad habits when we fight that lead to further problems so we challenge you to listen and practice the techniques offered in this episode. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 05 Oct 2022 | Discipline - The Missing Link to Success | 00:21:29 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Discipline could be the very thing holding you back from becoming the greatest possible version of yourself. We discuss the importance of discipline, the best ways to attain it, and what you're missing out on if you ignore it. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 12 Oct 2022 | Mind Muscles | 00:30:49 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! When we think about fitness, we often think of our physical fitness...But what does the state of your physical fitness say about the state of your mental and spiritual fitness? We examine the correlation between a healthy body and a healthy mind. We give reasons why we believe you cannot be at your absolute best without a fitness routine and we explore the single best way to achieve your best body and mind through E2M Fitness. We'll discuss what we've learned along the way about ourselves and each other. Abs are really cool...but abs for your brain are even cooler. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 19 Oct 2022 | Detaching With Love | 00:20:33 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Detaching with love can be hard to navigate, but it can be beneficial for all involved, even if it’s painful. We touch on why it’s important, who to detach from, and how to manage difficult relationships and situations. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 21 Oct 2022 | Holiday Bucket List; Make The Most of The Seasons | 00:10:00 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Do your favorite seasons or holidays pass you by and leave you wondering “What happened to the time?!” We discuss some easy ways to make the most of your favorite seasons while tampering expectations so you’re left feeling fulfilled. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 26 Oct 2022 | Reset Your Day | 00:20:04 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Did you have a bad day, or did the day have a bad you? Did your tough morning snowball into the worst day ever and leave you feeling like a magnet for bad luck? We've been there and in this episode we explore the power of restarting your day. We'll give you instructions on how to hit the pause button on any day and restart it with a fresh perspective. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 02 Nov 2022 | Ruthless Accountability | 00:19:15 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Your friendly neighborhood street sweepers checking in to share with you how we've found how keeping our side of the street clean makes life simpler and more manageable. When we focus on our responsibilities and not the responsibility of others, serenity and confidence follow. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 09 Nov 2022 | Coping With Anxiety | 00:26:08 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Are you anxious? What are the sources of your anxiety and how to do you cope with it? We all have different ways of coping with anxiety and managing neurotic thoughts. We discuss how we went from letting anxiety drive our lives and actions to living without it. The first episode of many on how to conquer anxiety. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 23 Nov 2022 | Alcohol & The Holidays | 00:28:26 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! The holidays are a time for fellowship, family, and tradition...but it can also be the source of immense stress and unhealthy coping with alcohol. With mental health at an all-time low and alcohol intake at an all-time high, we're playing with fire as we enter the holiday season. We discuss how to question our alcohol intake and take responsibility for what enters our bodies and why. If you've ever wondered if you have a drinking problem listen and join us as we explore the fringes of addiction and stress during the holidays. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 16 Nov 2022 | Make Money Living Your Purpose | 00:24:58 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Do you hate your job? Do you feel like you're not fulfilling your purpose or your talents are being wasted? Many of us struggle with the feeling that we're wasting time in our choice of career and we don't know how to get out. Join us as we discuss how to capitalize on your quirks and monetize your unique ability. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 30 Nov 2022 | Want a GREAT Relationship? Listen Up. | 00:40:44 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! This episode covers some key factors that have made our relationship successful over 20 years. Whether you are struggling in a relationship, wanting to strengthen an existing one, or preparing yourself for one to come, this discussion is a can't miss! Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 02 Dec 2022 | Time Management | 00:14:02 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Where does the time go? We discuss some tips and tricks we use to juggle a marriage, family, extra curriculars, business, podcast, social media, and more! Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 07 Dec 2022 | Merry Stressmas & Happy Holidaze! | 00:33:00 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! You don’t want to skip this one! From difficult and hilarious family stereotypes, to the burden of gift giving, to overbooked schedules, the holidays can be STRESSFUL. Sit down with us as we tackle ways we’ve found to make the season truly enjoyable in this solution-packed episode. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 09 Dec 2022 | Story Time: When Moms Party | 00:15:01 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Special Episode! Settle in, make sure your kids aren’t close and grab a seat for this special “Story Time” episode. We recount the hilarious events of a recent night when a responsible mother of two decides to party like she’s 21 and then attempts to cover her tracks. Suspenseful, hilarious, and a little vulgar we hope you enjoy a personal recounting of “Paige’s Halloween Bash.” Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 14 Dec 2022 | All or Nothing | 00:27:49 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! "All or Nothing Thinking" or "Black and White Thinking" or "Polarized Thinking" are all terms given to a cognitive distortion wherein the individual has a skewed sense of reality. Things often appear much worse than they are in reality, causing depression and anxiety. If you tend to be an all or nothing type of person, we have solutions. This may be our worst produced episode yet, but there's a reason for it. Listen up and let's grow together! Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 21 Dec 2022 | 10 Things I Hate About You | 00:20:50 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! With Christmas fast approaching and everyone in survival mode, we decided to go light this week. Find out what drives us nuts about each other and let us know what weird pet peeves you have with your S/O on IG! Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 23 Dec 2022 | Story Time: Queso, you taking the kids or not? | 00:11:54 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! It’s story time! This story has become lore in our family and friend circles. For story time this week we re-live an iconic breakdown over Queso…that’s right…cheese sauce. My wife threatened to take the kids and leave if I tossed out some terrible queso. It sounds as ridiculous as it was and it’s hilarious. You won’t want to miss this one! Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 28 Dec 2022 | Manage Post-Holiday Blues | 00:16:05 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Whether we feel the loss of the season and mourn or feel completely overwhelmed from the "Peopling" we have to do with each party there are tough emotions to manage as we exit the holiday season. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 04 Jan 2023 | 3 Reasons Your Resolutions Fail | 00:18:02 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Resolutions fail because they lack depth and weight. In 2023, promise to challenge yourself. Let's take an inventory, explore solutions, and take action that will get you where you want to be. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 11 Jan 2023 | Stop Saving Your Kids! | 00:18:20 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Adversity is essential to growth and independence. When we conquer a challenge we grow and learn but it's becoming rare as parents helicopter ever closer and step in for their kids at every opportunity. There is balance between exposing kids to healthy adversity and being a comforting, supportive parent. Embrace the grey area between with us! Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 18 Jan 2023 | How Addiction Nearly Ruined Our Life | 00:37:53 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! In our first of two episodes about the addiction that nearly tore our family apart, Matt recounts his battle with opioid and alcohol addiction. An emotional recount of a story about how love persevered and hope for anyone in the midst of an addiction or in a relationship with someone. Stick around for Paige's side of the story next week! Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 25 Jan 2023 | From Loving The Addict to Loving Myself | 00:41:09 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Detaching with love from an addict partner, child, friend, or family member is difficult. Whether they are in recovery or in the flames of it, taking care of yourself must be a priority. Join us as we discuss the journey from being codependent to emotionally independent and learning to love ourselves regardless of the addict's behavior. We receive more questions about this topic than any other and we believe there's hope in our message of recovery for the codependent. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 01 Feb 2023 | Own Your Trauma | 00:31:56 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Personality comes from the latin word "Persona" , which refers to a theatrical mask worn by performers to play roles or disguise their identities. In the ancient world, a persona was a mask worn by an actor. If masks can be removed, then can we change our personality? Yes! Let's discuss! Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 08 Feb 2023 | Why Accountability Partners Fail: Spoiler - It’s You, Not Them | 00:41:01 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Accountability partners aren't going to save you from putting food in your mouth and sponsors won't slap the drink out of your hand. This week we discuss how to become the CEO of your own life and stop making your goals contingent on other people's actions. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 15 Feb 2023 | Stop Being Weird About Money | 00:34:06 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Couples will openly talk about their sex lives before they dare talk about their money. Why is this? We discuss why financial discussions are important to intimacy in relationship and how they're likely the most important conversation you AREN'T having. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 22 Feb 2023 | How To Cope With Triggers | 00:37:25 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Triggers are open wounds inside our minds that lead to reactions disproportionate to the present event. The goal here is to learn how to cope with triggers differently, not avoid them completely. Triggers are also opportunities to identify pieces of us that need more work. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 01 Mar 2023 | Spirituality and Happiness | 00:30:23 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Spirituality is a foundation of self development and happiness. This is a conversation we never wanted to have at one point in our lives, but it's one we cannot discount when looking at our lives today. Countless studies have been done and the correlation between happiness and spirituality is very clear. As former atheists/agnostics this journey was long but we found the realm of the spirit does not make too hard of terms with those that seek it. It is available to all. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 08 Mar 2023 | Work Life Balance - Processing Anxiety Around Holidays & Vacations | 00:34:53 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Work Life Balance. It seems so simple, doesn't it? I work, then I fulfill my family duties and live out my passions personally. For some, (myself included) my work has come to define me and separating myself from it isn't always so easy. Let's explore what processing an emotion looks like as we look at work life balance. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 15 Mar 2023 | Improv to Improve - Simple Steps to Make the Most Out of Adversity and Improve Your Life | 00:31:59 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Life is a lot like jazz, it's best when you improvise. It's impossible to get upset when you practice acceptance and improvise to make the most out of difficult situations. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 22 Mar 2023 | How to Set Boundaries In Your Relationship - What Are Boundaries? | 00:28:53 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Boundaries in a relationship are often misunderstood, misused, and undefined. We discuss what boundaries are, what boundaries aren't, how to set them, and how to follow through so that you are protected. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 29 Mar 2023 | Failure is Success | 00:19:23 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Are you failing right now? Congratulations! When we learn to recognize failure as a building block of success it takes on a whole new light. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 05 Apr 2023 | Communication - The Easiest Way to Get What You Need | 00:29:10 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Today we discuss the importance of communication and reveal the secret behind getting what you need in a relationship. Husband won't help out around the house? Employees not doing what they're supposed to? Listen up and try this! Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 12 Apr 2023 | How To Make REAL Change - Celebrating 10 Years of Recovery & Positive Change | 00:34:15 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! This week we celebrate 10 years of recovery and positive change! The journey from addiction to recovery has been long and hard fought, but this lesson is applicable to ANYONE'S life. If you are wanting to make change in your life and better your mindset, accomplish new goals, change yourself for the better, or rid yourself of toxic thinking and/or habits you need to hear this one! Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 19 Apr 2023 | Act Yourself Into Right Thinking | 00:42:20 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! So often we spend hours tormenting ourselves trying to think ourselves out of a problem, emotion, or feeling. Sometimes thinking is helpful, but action is ALWAYS helpful. Journaling is an incredible exercise that creates action that leads to change. Join us as we discuss some personal struggles we have journaled and tips on improving your journaling skills. We've got a great tip for scathing work emails too! Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 26 Apr 2023 | Low Maintenance Relationships | 00:29:56 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Your oldest friends are the easiest to get along with. Why is that? It's because the foundation of that relationship requires little to no maintenance to ensure love and understanding are always at the core of each interaction. People pleasing is a common distortion that many of us work through and it can be the cause of high maintenance relationships. Set expectations early and surround yourself with low maintenance people to ensure happiness and time for self-care. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 03 May 2023 | Ditch Your Excuses - How Limiting Beliefs Stunt Our Growth | 00:22:46 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! There is more written about excuses and why we shouldn't make them than anyone could possibly read...yet we all still make them. Why is that? What's behind our excuses and what are we actually doing when we place blame on an external factor or event rather than taking accountability? In this episode we talk about several examples of people that had every excuse in the world not to succeed, and did it in spite of their limitations...we'll also dive into the psychology of excuses and discover what purpose they actually serve that may shed light on how to avoid making them in the future. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 10 May 2023 | You Can't Change Other People (But You Can Change Yourself) | 00:32:04 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Whether you're in a relationship with an addict/alcoholic or in a relationship with a narcissist or perhaps an incredibly stubborn person, we feel an insistence to encourage them to behave in certain ways. The result is rarely change on the part of the other person and instead ends up in frustration and endless arguments for us. Join us on this episode as we discuss how to deal with someone that refuses to change or lacks the self awareness to change and more importantly how WE can change ourselves to create happiness and contentment with or without these people in our lives. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 17 May 2023 | Acceptance Is The Answer - Develop Balance By Understanding What You Can and Can't Change | 00:52:35 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Acceptance isn't a black or white subject...but it's often perceived as exactly that. True, ruthless acceptance involves accepting our lives, people, places, and things as permanent and unchangeable and only by accepting them as they are can we find happiness. This sounds nice in theory but it often results in calamity, discontentedness and unhappiness as we allow toxic situations or people to steamroll us. Let's discuss what healthy acceptance looks like and how to find balance between what we can control and what we cannot control. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 24 May 2023 | Codependency - It's NOT What You Think | 00:29:48 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! The word "Codependency" gets a really bad rap. The word conjures imagines of someone obsessed with a partner that cannot function without them. It's often used to describe "Needy" behavior but it's much much deeper. In this episode we explore codependency as it relates to not only addiction but relationships in general. We cover the traits of someone that is emotionally enmeshed or self-sacrificing for other people in their lives and some tools to work through the trait. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 31 May 2023 | Living Without Rules - Break Rules to Find Balance | 00:38:18 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Break rules to find balance in your life! Rules are made to be broken. It's cliche but we believe it to be true when it comes to growth and personal development. Rules can have the effect of "Boxing us in" to an identity or a role and questioning them often leads to new perspectives and thoughts that are the foundation of positive change. Join us today on our discussion of how rules inhibit growth and stall personal development. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 07 Jun 2023 | How To Handle Dysfunctional Situations | 00:45:25 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Dysfunction is sneaky. One moment you're enjoying life and the next you're wondering how in the world you ended up in the situation you're in. Whether it's a relationship, job, family dynamic, or any number of situations we find ourselves in they all have something in common...US! Today we discuss the origins of dysfunctional or toxic situations and common examples, why we end up in these situations in the first place, and lastly how to get out of them. Although your situation may vary, these tools and ideas are a GREAT starting place to set you off on a path of fulfillment as you surround yourself with people, places, and things that enhance your life rather than control them. The formula for forming boundaries within an addict/alcoholic relationship is very similar to those around your career and this topic is applicable for nearly any predicament you find yourself in. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 14 Jun 2023 | Building A Relationship In Recovery | 00:37:28 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! This is a listener requested topic that covers how two people working toward better versions of themselves also strengthen the relationship and not lose sight of the overarching thing that brought them together in the first place. We discuss some of the basic foundations of any strong relationship and dive into the caveats that are unique to two people working on bettering themselves in recovery. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 21 Jun 2023 | Gaslighting | 00:34:13 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Gaslighting was the buzzterm of 2022 and as it turns out, many people misuse it. Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse where an individual's perception of reality is repeatedly undermined or questioned by another person. Gaslighting is common in addict and codependent relationships and it's something we have firsthand experience with. Join us today as we discuss gaslighting, how to identify the action within a relationship, and finally what to do about it when you're in it. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 28 Jun 2023 | Forgiveness - How To Forgive Others & Yourself | 00:43:38 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Forgiveness is an incredibly complex topic. Many times we feel that forgiving someone is the same as condoning their behavior and that we are "Letting them win" as we drop our guard and decide to give them another chance. That could not be farther from the truth. Forgiveness is a gift that we give ourselves, and sometimes other people. We discuss what forgiveness is, what it isn't, how to forgive, and how to forgive yourself for your past. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 30 Jun 2023 | Listener Q&A | 00:30:08 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! We took to our accounts to field questions from YOU and we think this episode is AMAZING! We really enjoyed making this one and we'd love to do more of them in the future so please ask away! Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 05 Jul 2023 | Boundaries Part 1: What Are Your Values? | 00:34:40 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! We get asked about setting boundaries more than any single topic so we're creating a 3-part series to break down the process to help you master the technique. In part one we start with the foundation by asking the question, "What are your values?" Your values are the vessel from which every decision you make going forward will come from. Let's get to work! Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 12 Jul 2023 | Boundaries Part 2: What Makes You Uncomfortable? | 00:47:41 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! In part two of our boundaries series we are picking up right where we left off and furthering the discussion around violations of our values. Once we have established our values, it's now important to look outward at the behaviors and actions that lead to uncomfortable feelings (aka violation of our values) so that the boundary and the need for it becomes more clear. We discuss a variety of behaviors that lead to uncomfortable feelings and we encourage you to expound upon our examples and give us some feedback! Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 19 Jul 2023 | Boundaries Part 3: Installing and Living With Boundaries | 00:49:30 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! The final episode in our boundaries series covers the review, installation, and experience of living with boundaries. We discuss in depth what "Healthy" boundaries look like and ways to review them before having the conversation around them. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 26 Jul 2023 | The Forgotten Partner - Validating the Partner In Alcoholic or Addicted Relationships | 00:44:58 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! It's okay to be mad. It's okay. Healing starts after the pain is acknowledged and your feelings are validated. Today we discuss the lack of coverage of the spouse/partner in an addicted or alcoholic relationship and how isolating it can feel. We explore theories on why the stories of the spouse are not discussed or shared, and offer hope to anyone suffering in the midst of an addicted relationship. Recovery is possible and it's not as easy as the world would like you to think. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 02 Aug 2023 | What Is The Partner's Role in Recovery? | 00:49:07 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! A slippery slope topic...What role should you play in your loved one's recovery and what is the best way to support someone in recovery? What are the do's and don'ts, what actions lead to success, what do I need to know? How does any of this work?! All thoughts that race through the mind of anyone that has a loved one battling addiction. We discuss our experience and things we found beneficial for someone in recovery in this episode. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 09 Aug 2023 | Trauma Bonding - Why We Stay In Abusive Relationships | 00:49:44 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Trauma bonding occurs when someone becomes overly loyal or attached to another individual who exhibits toxic behavior. This is highly prevalent in narcissistic relationships but it exhibits itself in many relationships where addiction is present. Today we discuss the reasons trauma bonding occurs and how to break free from a toxic situation. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 16 Aug 2023 | Should I Stay Or Should I Go? - When Is It Time To Leave A Relationship? | 00:35:12 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! "Should I stay or should I go?" paraphrases a question we get maybe more than any other. This episode hopefully brings some clarity to what REAL change and progress in a relationship looks like, so you can gauge your partner's willingness and capacity to do the hard work. Alcoholism and addiction are just one area of recovery they must tackle...but emotional abuse, psychological abuse, and physical abuse are entirely different monsters to deal with in true recovery. Join us as we discuss and bring clarity to the thinking behind the question, "Should I stay or should I go?" Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 23 Aug 2023 | What's Going On With Men? | 00:45:12 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! An issue under the surface of what we often discuss is the role of the substance abuser or emotional abuser is that these people are often men. More so than the addiction that wrecks the marriages, families, and friendships of our listeners and clients is the underlying feeling that "Something is going on with men these days." We began to explore this in conversation, then in research, and our determination is that there may be something to this notion after all. We dig into the issues affecting men today, what's behind it, how addictions of all kinds play a role, and we want your feedback. Give us your thoughts on this episode by leaving a review, comment, or by sending an email or message. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 30 Aug 2023 | Actions vs Intentions - What Matters Most? | 00:37:49 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Your intentions are bullsh...well, not totally, but pretty much. Intentions can be extremely valuable in certain situations to provide context but intentions do not excuse behavior. Often times substance abusers or toxic people will ask that their intentions become the metric by which their behavior should be judged, but this is dangerous and damaging to partners and families. Empathetic and caring loved ones want to give the benefit of the doubt, often to their own detriment. While substance abusers may not mean to hurt the ones they love, they do in fact hurt the ones they love. We discuss weighing actions vs intentions and how to balance the two competing influences and when to consider each. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 06 Sep 2023 | Am I Controlling You Or Just Challenging You To Be Better? | 00:46:11 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! The line between challenging your partner to live up to their potential and controlling them is blurry...Often when we challenge people we're labeled as "Controlling" but that's not always the case. Today we discuss the difference between challenging someone or holding them accountable versus controlling them. Challenging someone and growing alongside each other is a mutual process and the byproduct of a healthy relationship. When it comes to addiction however...it's not always so clear. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 13 Sep 2023 | Leaving Him Saved Our Marriage & His Life | 01:14:38 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! This episode is special in so many ways. It marks one year of Till The Wheels Fall Off, we have our first guests on, and we hear one of the greatest stories from two of the most amazing people we've ever known. Steve and Kristine were happily married when addiction derailed their relationship. Kristine spent 12 years in a relationship with an active addict when she decided she finally had enough. It was ultimately the decision to leave that woke Steve up and opened his eyes to what addiction had done to his life. Steve has one of the most powerful messages of recovery we've ever heard, and Kristine's strength and resilience is utterly amazing. Their journey is a testament to the power of taking care of yourself when addiction wrecks your marriage, and how leaving someone can save a life. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 20 Sep 2023 | How Addiction Affects The Family - Pros & Cons of Al-Anon | 01:04:45 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Our discussion this week is split into two parts. The first half focuses on ways in which addiction affects the family unit. We dive in to the subtle and not-so-subtle ways living with an addict can have emotional and psychological affects on partners, spouses, and children. The second half of our discussion focuses on the current resources available for spouses, specifically Al-Anon. We discuss our thoughts on the program as a whole and what's wonderful about it, and then what we believe it lacks. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 27 Sep 2023 | The Process of Empowerment | 00:52:28 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! The process of empowerment is a journey that takes up time many don't feel they have in the immediacy of a chaotic marriage or relationship. Paige takes a moment to discuss her journey of empowerment and healing while she reintroduces herself. We discuss the timeframe for healing, challenges along the way, and why it's so difficult to discuss being in a relationship with an alcoholic or addict. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 04 Oct 2023 | If You Were Sent This, Please Listen - Part 1 | 01:00:09 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! We've been asked to create sharable content for your partners and spouses, so here it is. We hope it's helpful in some way. This is part one that focuses on the benefits of a sober life together. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 11 Oct 2023 | Reactive Defense - Fighting Back Is Not Abuse | 00:45:56 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Reactive abuse (defense) occurs when the victim of abuse responds to the mistreatment they're enduring. Often times feelings of guilt are present and the victim then feels like an abuser themself. It's important to recognize that reactive defense does not constitute abuse in itself and in many cases is an involuntary reaction to ongoing abuse. Abusers seize the opportunity of these reactions as evidence or "Proof" that they themselves are victims of abuse, shifting blame onto the victim. The volatile nature of relationships where addiction is present leads to many of these instances. This episode is designed to educate victims of abuse and soften the guilt they have around their reactions to abusive behavior. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 18 Oct 2023 | If You Were Sent This, Please Listen - Part 2 | 00:55:50 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! We continue with our message to people in early sobriety with a discussion about the disease concept of addiction, and whether the disease model excuses abusive behavior in a relationship. We dig into the real meat of our overarching theme and discuss accountability, validation of feelings, and offer a different (albeit controversial) perspective on the acknowledgment and validity of abusive behavior in active addiction. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 20 Oct 2023 | If You Were Sent This, Please Listen - Part 3 | 00:47:40 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! The conclusion of our message to those in active addiction, or in sobriety discusses the spouse's perspective with the intent to create empathy. Addiction is HARD and nobody will ever question that for one moment, but it's still important to understand that within a relationship the world does not pause for the spouse like it does for the person in treatment or spending time on their recovery. While a time investment in sobriety is a requirement to create real change, we must learn how to balance our new routines, triggers, with our relationship and hold space for our spouse/partner's experience. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 25 Oct 2023 | Trigger Management for Spouses and Partners | 00:52:02 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Triggers. The word comes up often in addiction treatment but we're going to shift the discussion to triggers that exist for spouses and partners of people that suffer from a substance abuse disorder. Our conversation today is designed to help people that are with someone in early or established sobriety. We touch on the origins of triggers and ways to mitigate their severity and ways to have discussions around triggers. Triggers that exist in a relationship where the addiction is active are discussed, but as you'll hear it's often futile as it's very difficult to heal in an environment where your wounds are still very much open. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 01 Nov 2023 | Communicating With Someone In Active Addiction | 00:46:10 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! The most common question we get is "How do I help them to get sober?" Unfortunately there is not magic solution, but any progress is going to include communication. This episode begins a series of episodes regarding communication at various stages in someone's recovery journey. This first episode in the series covers communicating with someone in active addiction. This is perhaps the most difficult period of communication as we battle the one-way street nature of a relationship with an active alcoholic or addict. We cover some of the challenges, tips on how to best communicate with someone in active addiction, the importance of communication in all healthy relationships and much more. We summarize the conversation with a discussion on detaching with love, managing expectations, and how to achieve acceptance in turmoil. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 08 Nov 2023 | Communicating with Someone in Early Recovery | 01:01:31 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! We continue our communication in recovery series by touching on some of the intricacies of communicating with someone in early recovery. Early recovery presents a unique set of challenges for the recovering person as well as the spouse. Often times spouses and partners want to "Get back to normal" and begin to work on their trauma but we discuss why this isn't always the best plan. We touch on several tips for communication styles and tricks that we found helpful in early recovery and how to navigate some of the most common challenges. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 15 Nov 2023 | Navigating The Holidays With An Addicted Loved One | 00:53:47 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! All I want for Christmas is normalcy... Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 22 Nov 2023 | Healthy Communication - A Vision For Growth | 01:03:08 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! The final part in a series on communication covers what healthy communication looks like. We often disregard the need for healthy communication and "Stick with what we know" but there are tried and true methods to effectively communicate your needs and let others feel heard in the process. We discuss these methods and what has worked for us, we clear up the old "I shouldn't have to ask" argument, talk about what's fight worthy and what's not, whether men can and should be able to read minds, and much much more! Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 29 Nov 2023 | How To Talk With Kids About Your Addicted Loved One And Other Uncomfortable Topics | 01:00:30 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! In this episode we go somewhere we've never gone before and have a discussion as parents, rather than a couple focusing on an addicted relationship. Talking to kids about addiction is extremely difficult to navigate, it's even more difficult when you're talking to them about their own mother or father. We touch on ways to address the subject in an age appropriate way, what not enough discussion and too much discussion looks like, boundaries around details, parentification and emotional incest, and much much more. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 06 Dec 2023 | If a Friend or Family Member Sent This to You PLEASE Listen | 00:50:43 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! It's incredibly hard to communicate to friends and family what it's like being in a relationship with an addict or alcoholic, or even an abusive person...they ask the obvious "Why are you still with them?!" followed by suggestions and advice that often make people feel belittled, invalidated, and alone. This episode serves as a bridge between what your loved one wants to say, and what they may have trouble saying. We ask that you listen to this episode in its entirety with an open heart and mind so that you can gain an understanding of your loved one's situation and become a true ally in their journey of empowerment and recovery. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 13 Dec 2023 | A Doctor's Opinion: Dr. Christopher S. Taylor on Healing, Addiction, Narcissism, and Codependency | 00:55:15 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! TWFO welcomes Dr. Christopher S. Taylor to the show to discuss a litany of topics such as healing, addiction, narcissism, abuse, boundaries, codependency, and much more. Dr. Taylor is the clinical architect behind Independently Strong's new course designed to help spouses and partners of alcoholics and addicts on their own recovery journeys. A hope held by many is that there is a simple solution to a vastly complex problem such as how to navigate a relationship and boundaries with someone in active addiction and Dr. Taylor does a marvelous job in shedding light on the process of healing and making the complicated, seem less so. Be sure to stick around until the very end on this one and let us know what you think by leaving a review! Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 20 Dec 2023 | Detaching With Love Part 2 | 00:56:30 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! We've covered detaching with love before, but the concept deserves further exploration. Detaching with love is paradoxical. We know how to be in love, and we know how to detach...but detaching with love? It's a grey area concept that is rather difficult. It's required as part of the healing process for spouses and partners and involves reframing our expectations of our addicted spouse or partner. We walk through the concept in this episode and discuss its challenges, tips for achieving it, and how to compassionately detach from a relationship. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 22 Dec 2023 | Listener Q&A - How to Navigate Difficult Seasons in Life Sober | 00:27:17 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! We take listener questions from our community and inbox from time to time and we're going to answer a great question today. Often times addicts and alcoholics will justify relapses or use because of difficult life events . E.g., loss of loved ones, loss of employment, relationship troubles, stress, family drama, you name it. We discuss today how we have coped through difficult seasons in life and remained sober and happy as a couple in this quick special edition episode. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 27 Dec 2023 | Dealing With The Guilt You Feel In Leaving Or Setting Boundaries | 00:51:53 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! If I'm doing what's best for me, why do I feel guilty? Even when we do what we know is best for us and our families, we have feelings of intense guilt in leaving a toxic relationship or even setting boundaries in one. We discuss natural (healthy) guilt versus manufactured guilt (unhealthy) and why this happens. We discuss our own personal experiences in dealing with these emotions and provide some clarity to know when you should reconsider the guilt you feel. It's a seldom discussed topic in addicted relationship dynamics and we hope you gain some insight to your situation and yourself. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 03 Jan 2024 | How Will You Level Up Your Recovery In 2024? | 01:01:55 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! With a new year comes reflection of the past. We consider what worked, what didn't and what needs to change moving forward into the new year. This episode is designed to be worked with a worksheet that you can find on our website in the blog section, and we strongly encourage you to follow along with us. We review our lives in 2023 and discuss successes, failures, what we wanted to get done that never came to fruition, and what we aim to change in the next year of our lives. There is no better time than now to take an honest inventory of the past year and decide on what you are going to do different this year. This episode covers not only addiction recovery as the spouse or partner of an alcoholic or addict, but your entire life. Join us and feel free to hop in the community to share your insights and what you liked (or didn't like) about this episode. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 10 Jan 2024 | GENTLE Self-Care: Self-Care For Beginners | 00:50:02 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Self-care...oh my. We hear so much about self-care. There are industries devoted to it, so many opinions and options, and the reality is that very few of them apply to people in survival mode. Self-care IS necessary for your wellbeing and recovery, but many of the diets, exercise regimens, morning routines, etc are frankly too much for someone that is struggling to get out of bed. In this episode we discuss what GENTLE self-care looks like as we graduate to higher levels of ability in the recovery journey for spouses and partners. If you are struggling to get out of bed and someone tells you to change your entire diet, eat five clean meals a day, and spend 45min meditating each morning, it's likely going to fail and put you into a place where you feel even more hopeless. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 17 Jan 2024 | This One's For Overwhelmed Parents | 00:50:10 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Being a parent is HARD. The emotional labor and mental weight of decisions rests heavy on healthy couples in equitable relationships. Factor in addiction, and you often have all of the responsibilities of parenting amplified exponentially onto one parent...on top of the weight and uncertainty of being in a relationship with a substance abuser. We discuss the mental load of motherhood and Celeste Yvonne's book, "It's Not About the Wine" to gain an understanding of what "de facto single parents" are facing every day. We touch on the unique challenges that parents face when their partner is absent in addiction - the responsibilities of caring for children, keeping a home in order, working, paying bills, and wondering when you will ever find time for yourself. Even in circumstances when there is no help from the village in sight, the heaviest burdens sometimes come from within. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 24 Jan 2024 | Codependency Doesn't Tell the Whole Story: Why You Lose Yourself in an Addicted Relationship | 00:54:25 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Books like "Codependent No More" and programs like CODA or Alanon offer a lot of helpful insight on the topic of codependency. Codependency is a dysfunctional relationship pattern where one person's self-worth and identity become excessively reliant on the approval and needs of another person. Codependency does explain some of the behaviors that take place in an addicted relationship, but the story is a bit more complex than this. The "Lost" feelings that many spouses and partners have are sometimes the byproduct of abusive behaviors, gaslighting and the calculated altering of someone's reality in order to keep the addicted train rolling. That is, codependency doesn't tell the whole story and therefore focusing deeply on it as the solution will not fix the entire issue. Simply working on your codependent behaviors will not get you to your end goal of a happy and healthy relationship, nor will it address the trauma from years of abuse that is often present in addicted relationships. Just focusing on your codependency or your own issues and not acknowledging the why of these behaviors is a failure to examine the role that abuse plays in a romantic relationship. In this episode we discuss some of our own healing that was necessary due to the years of gaslighting, mistreatment, devaluing, and disregard of basic human needs in our relationship. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 31 Jan 2024 | Learning to Love Myself - How to Rebuild Your Self Esteem | 01:19:31 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! If it were as simple as saying "Just love yourself" then wouldn't everybody have a high self-esteem? The work that takes place within a spouse or partner to rebuild after addiction is something we've talked about for a while, but never like this. Paige opens up in a way she never has before with details on the journey of rebuilding her self-esteem, loving and trusting herself again, and the role validation played in her recovery. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 07 Feb 2024 | Let's Talk About Sex: Emotional and Physical Intimacy Q&A | 01:17:48 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! We took questions from the community and extracted the most commonly asked questions about emotional and physical intimacy. We've never openly talked about our sex life or thoughts on it, but we get open and discuss all things intimate in this episode. We talk about how to rebuild intimacy, why men view sex differently, why sex drive plummets for people in early recovery, and talk about how addiction affects this crucial aspect of relationships. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 14 Feb 2024 | Infidelity Q&A | 00:45:22 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Infidelity was not part of our story, but we get questions about it weekly. Does the cloud of substance abuse excuse infidelity? Was it really them making the decision to cheat? How do I know if them saying it's not their fault is true? How do you rebuild a relationship after infidelity? We answer these questions and more in our discussion on infidelity from listeners and we hope you glean some much needed answers from it. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 21 Feb 2024 | 10 Truth Bombs About Denial | 01:02:34 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! The state of denial never feels like you think it would feel...Most people believe they can intuitively recognize when they're in a bad situation but that's rarely the case. Denial can be a comfortable place to be, but it will suffocate you over time. We discuss 10 truth bombs about denial and our hope is that from this episode you'll be able to distill the true from the false and gain clarity on the facts of your life and relationship. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 28 Feb 2024 | Are You An Overthinker? | 01:05:49 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Overthinking can plague your mind with many scenarios, many of which are negative and lead to tumultuous thoughts and anxiety. It's more common today than it has ever been and it's not just unique to spouses and partners of alcoholics and addicts. Paige has recovered from anxiety disorder and is a self-professed recovered overthinker. We discuss the traps of overthinking and suggest some ways to break the habit that will lead to a more positive and realistic outlook of your life and the situations you encounter. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 06 Mar 2024 | Are You Overreacting? | 01:04:55 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Is the drinking really as bad as I feel it? Is this a serious problem or am I making something out of nothing? Did I sign up for this? Do I need to just suck it up? Am I overthinking or is my gut trying to tell me something? Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 13 Mar 2024 | Grief and Ambiguous Loss - Grieving The Loss of a Dream | 01:14:54 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! In this episode we cover a particular type of grief common when loving an addicted person called ambiguous loss. Ambiguous loss is a profound sense of loss and sadness that does not stem from the death of a loved one. It may arise from a lack of emotional connection despite someone's physical presence, or conversely, the persistence of emotional ties in the absence of physical closeness. This type of loss leads individuals on a quest for answers, complicating and prolonging the grieving process, often leaving grief unresolved. The standard 5-step process of grief is not always applicable to partners and spouses of alcoholics and addicts and you've probably felt this before when reading about grief. You know you're grieving, but the literature isn't adding up. We take some time to talk about why. We take a deep dive into the work of Dr. Pauline Boss and her pioneering of ambiguous loss and how to develop resiliency to get through it. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 20 Mar 2024 | Finding Comfort as the "Villain" | 01:08:43 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Being labeled a "Villain" is hurtful when you're just trying to protect yourself and your family. In this episode we delve into the complexities of being labeled the "villain" in someone else's story. Paige candidly shares her journey of grappling with self-esteem issues while navigating the role of the villain and the necessity of setting boundaries to protect herself. We explore the challenges of embracing this role for personal growth. We once again tackle the vital topic of setting boundaries and dealing with criticism, shedding light on the dynamics of toxic relationships and their detrimental effects on mental health. Through personal anecdotes and insights, we stress the importance of accountability, authenticity, and trusting one's instincts in navigating toxic dynamics and fostering personal growth. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 27 Mar 2024 | Lessons Learned Together After 4,000 Days Sober | 01:16:23 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! In this episode we discuss some of the lessons we've learned in 4,000 days of sobriety. We discuss pain management, and our partnership with Aleve in their new awareness campaign called "The Painful Truth." Our story is as much about healthy and safe pain management as it is addiction recovery and we discuss what pain management looks like today. We get personal and talk about the beauty of a recovered life and our family weekend where every aspect of the lessons we learned were on display. Patience, gratitude, mindfulness and presence, spirituality, reframing positivity and hope, and acceptance were all on display within a short time period and it's important to remember that things CAN get better if you're willing to work for it. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 03 Apr 2024 | It's Okay to be Angry | 01:04:24 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! In general, we don't like to be angry. It's uncomfortable and then we're faced with the proposition of confronting someone that has upset us which brings about an entirely new challenge. When it comes to anger with someone in active addiction, it's often futile to address concerns in a constructive way. So then what can you do with the anger? We propose repurposing it into something useful. It you're going to be angry, you might as well do something with it. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 10 Apr 2024 | Why the Past is Important - Accountability & Healing | 01:04:58 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Phrases such as "We just need to move forward," "The past is the past, get over it," "Stop bringing up the past" may have a time and place, but not in your relationship post-addiction or after betrayal of any kind. Emotions buried alive never die. While it may be difficult to discuss the past, it's important to discuss it for accountability and to set the stage for healing in the future. When you say "We're not bringing up the past" you're effectively saying that your feelings of guilt and shame are more important than your partner's feelings of betrayal and abandonment. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 17 Apr 2024 | Dry Drunk and Emotional Sobriety | 01:34:19 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Simply removing the substance accomplishes very little. The term dry drunk refers to someone that has not done "the work." The work is the uncovering of root causes and discovering the "why" behind someone's inability to cope with feelings and emotions that caused them to turn to drinking in the first place. In this episode we discuss dry drunk as well as emotional sobriety and offer our experience that sheds light on what it takes to move past dry drunk and physical sobriety into emotional sobriety and true freedom from addiction. This episode features our answers to Wheelie submitted questions and it was a great conversation. Don't forget to leave a review and subscribe to the show! Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 24 Apr 2024 | Anhedonia and the "Blah" Feelings of Recovery | 01:05:59 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! In this episode we discuss anhedonia, or what's commonly referred to as the "blah" feelings of early recovery for both the person coming out of substance abuse, as well as the spouse or partner. We cover the science behind anhedonia as well as what you can do to lessen its effects on your life and get back to feeling better. Many people report feeling "foggy", restless and fatigued, anxious, trouble feeling joy or excitement, and generally numb in early recovery. For many people this leads to relapse, but luckily it's temporary in the vast majority of cases. Likewise, spouses and partners of alcoholics and addicts go through a period of similar feelings as their loved one experiences these symptoms and they mourn the loss of a life they dreamed of as reality sets in. We've been there before and we've got your back through this. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 01 May 2024 | Recognizing Abuse | 01:09:19 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Exploring the harsh reality of abuse and its profound impact on spouses, families, and children is no easy feat. Often, we're tempted to deny its existence in our own lives, but that's a dangerous oversight. Our vision gets clouded; we shift blame to addiction or other factors, failing to see the deeper roots of the problem. True liberation demands that we confront uncomfortable truths head-on. It requires tough conversations and even tougher choices. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 08 May 2024 | How to Tell if Someone is Serious About Recovery | 01:12:14 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Are they serious? Is this normal? How can you tell if someone is really invested in their recovery? In the world of addiction recovery, it's not exactly cut and dry. There are many paths to recovery, and we aren't concerned with how someone recovers, but as to whether real investment into sobriety and accountability are present. In this episode we discuss the many words, attitudes and actions that will give you more clarity as to whether someone is serious about their recovery and rebuilding a relationship or if you have reason to be concerned. Whether it's your husband, wife, partner, or child this episode will no doubt shed some light on whether your suspicions are in fact warranted. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 15 May 2024 | Why Spouses Take Longer to Heal | 01:02:31 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! The recovery journey for a spouse or partner of an alcoholic or addict is not as organized as that of a substance abuser and it's far less controlled. Treatment centers, IOP and PHP programs all over the country offer solace to people struggling from addiction and a safe place for them to get away from their environment to focus on themselves for 30, 60, 90 days or more. The spouse has been clear minded the entire time through active addiction, they pick up extra slack in the relationship, and this continues onward whether someone is working towards sobriety or not. With so little time to focus on the damage caused from emotional and psychological abuse, the recovery journey for a spouse or partner is longer, harder, and far less clear than that of someone with an addiction treatment plan. In this episode we cover some of the reasons the journey of a spouse or partner may take longer than a substance abuser, and discuss some ways you can avoid some of the same pitfalls we encountered. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 22 May 2024 | Rebuilding Trust, Getting Your Needs Met, and Intervention Q&A | 01:11:20 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! We took listener questions for this episode and you can expect to find answers to questions such as: What should you expect when outside life events impact the recovery process, how to handle relapse, can trust be rebuilt after several relapses, is there a point at which trust is no longer on the table, how to handle the shame and guilt that comes from others when you stay in a relationship they don't approve of, how to get what you need out of a partner in early recovery, and much more! Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 29 May 2024 | How to Handle Friends Distancing Due to a Spouse's Addiction - Listener Q&A Pt.2 | 01:18:00 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! We continue to answer listener submitted questions in this episode and address the following: Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 05 Jun 2024 | Separate the Behaviors from the Addiction | 01:13:57 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! How much should you focus on the substance? To what degree is the substance responsible for someone's behavior? Is it easier to forgive someone's bad behavior because they're addicted? Should compassion for a struggling addict or alcoholic overshadow your needs for an equal partner, or for honesty in a relationship? With all of the information on addiction that ranges from choice to disease, it's incredibly hard to know what you should have tolerance for and what you shouldn't. We propose something that worked for us - focus on the behaviors and how they affect you and cast aside the substance. It has been our experience that the substance only made existing behaviors more severe, but it was not the cause of all of them. Long after the substance was removed, many of the harmful behaviors within our relationship remained. We discuss the benefits of focusing on behaviors rather than the substance to bring clarity to a relationship or marriage where addiction is present. We also discuss some of the common ways alcoholics and addicts use the addiction as an excuse for their behaviors and how this keeps spouses "trapped." We touch on the dangers of long-term lying and emotional abuse from an addicted person and how these things affect a spouse, and why many of the harmful behaviors you identify hang around long after the substance is gone. Our goal for the episode was to highlight the fact that it's not the substance that causes harm, it's the behaviors that come along with addiction and how they affect you, your children, and your environment. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 12 Jun 2024 | What Are Spouses of Substance Abusers Recovering From? | 01:11:28 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Many times spouses and partners are lost in a maze of issues that leave confusion and trouble answering a simple question, "What am I recovering from? What defines my recovery?" A marriage or relationship with an alcoholic or addict or a narcissistic or abusive person leaves the victim with issues ranging from PTSD, depression, anxiety disorder, "codependency" as Alanon calls it, or a range damage and it's complex. Much like someone with addiction is simply not recovering from substance abuse, recovery requires a journey involving therapy, support communities, self-work, and plenty of realizations along the way. In this episode we spend time discussing Paige's recovery and specifically, moving from naive and innocent to angry and cynical, ultimately to wisdom and knowing when to trust the right people and when to exclude harmful people from your world. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||
| 14 Jun 2024 | Paige's Perspective: We Are Not Broken | 00:13:38 | |
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Today marks the start of a new solo segment with Paige to supplement our regular weekly show to get you more help, more inspiration, and more lessons. It's called Paige's Perspective, and it's going to be a weekly message to our audience to provide more insight as to what a spouse's journey is like. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! | |||