The Tim Hawkins Podcast (The Tim Hawkins Podcast)

This week, a stranger disposes of an odd item in Branyan’s front lawn. Tim tries to clap his own hand. Is Office Space funny? Pooz hates when Caleb listens to metal music. Carrie Underwood gets violent in OUR version of Before He Cheats. Naked plays too much FartKnife. Freight doesn’t know what FartKnife is. Tim compares golf to the lying adulteress woman in Proverbs. Aaaand the bus has a minor (major) malfunction.   WE HAVE A FACEBOOK PAGE NOW! “Like” us @poddybreak!   Social Meeds:   Email: poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Twitter: @poddybreak Facebook: @poddybreak Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dustin is back on the Poddy Bus!! This week, Tim gets everyone ready to podcast, and then just starts eating in the middle of the room. Dustin tells a regional joke that doesn’t land. Spoiled Rich Kid hears from his first potential female suitor, and it doesn’t go well.  Caleb tries to Google “Painted Baby Pictures”. And a Freight joke goes over the line. (You’ve been warned.) Also on this episode: Tim does a freestyle rap about school picture day. Naked drops his Cinnabon. Dustin’s son pukes the entire color spectrum. Caleb fully inserts his hand into the cream cheese. The gang talks their favorite music. And Freight goes all in on a screaming goat toy.Follow us @poddybreak Email us at poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Click here  to see Tim LIVE!!! For more of Dustin check out dustinnickerson.com Or tweet him @DustinNickerson Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

John Branyan is in the house! This week, nobody can hear, and everybody wants reverb.  The gang talks fighting. Baby Josh has trouble speaking. Freight has a condition where nobody wants to listen to him. Caleb fields a bunch of questions from Twitter.  And there might be a flame thrower outside the bus. Also in this episode: Caleb wants to know what autumn in the park smells like. Tim fears the combover. Freight wants to look like a full on hobo. John does more Freight introductions. And we witness the glorious QUADRUPLE FREIGHTBACK!!!! Learn to the piano with Tim’s favorite system: http://www.timpiano.com Speak a new language with Pimsleur: http://www.timpimrocks.com Follow us @poddybreak Email us at poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Click here  to see Tim LIVE!!! Get more of John at johnbranyan.com Tweet John @john_branyan Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tim’s oldest son, Spencer, joins the gang this week! (He was a little nervous but did great) Everyone takes a deep breath, courtesy of Wim Hoff, and Tim admits to his pro-am air guitar days. Livy eats a whole sleeve of cookies and Luke’s words fall upon deaf friend ears. Thanks to FaithfulCounseling for sponsoring this episode. Go to https://faithfulcounseling.com/timhawkins for 10% off of your first month of counseling. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Luke, Liv and special guest Caleb take over for part 2 of the podcast WITHOUT Tim--beginning with 7 principles to be "funny." They spend time examining podcast reviews, analyzing a cringe- song playlist, and figuring out secrets to connecting with an audience. They call Levi for his thoughts on being a "coarse jester" and finish up with their own hot takes with Spencer. It's a family affair once again on the Tim Hawkins podcast! Big Thanks To Our Sponsors! Abide: Get started now with 25% off a premium subscription by downloading the Abide app at Abide.co/tim. You’ll get additional stories and meditations, premium music, soothing sounds, and more. Athletic Greens: Get a free 1 year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase! Visit athleticgreens.com/HAWKINS Faithful Counseling: Go to https://faithfulcounseling.com/timhawkins for 10% off of your first month of counseling! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Our favorite moments from the first half of 2021! Jackson rants, Livy's vocal guitar, Tim & Luke's greatest hits, Heather's motherly guidance, tidbits from our favorite guests, and so much more. If you forgot to listen to the first 16 episodes of last year, this is your official Hawkins-approved cheat sheet! There will be a quiz.  Big Thanks To Our Sponsors! Hiya: Receive 50% off your first order.! Go to hiyahealth.com/HAWKINS or enter code HAWKINS at checkout. Athletic Greens: Get a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D and 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase! Visit athleticgreens.com/HAWKINS Public Goods: Receive $15  off your first order with NO MINIMUM purchase! Go to publicgoods.com/HAWKINS or use code HAWKINS at checkout.   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Tim and the gang chat about things the old folks say, why humans feel compelled to speak to dogs/babies so much, and the current state of Tik Tok and why it's such a huge, fun, confusing mess. They listen to some questionable slam poetry, and Livvy and Luke are brave enough to share some of their own! Guest call-in from Tim’s old friend and Swedish hard rocker, Ulf Nerfgun, who talks life on the road (literally) and the exclusive Scandinavian love languages. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The crew discusses Tim being canceled by two people, slam poetry is back, along with questionable Fairy Tale Rhymes. Tim and Heather have dinner with the parents, which led to a discussion about getting old, winter sports injuries and comedy horror stories. Big Thanks To Our Sponsors! Abide: Get started now with 25% off a premium subscription by downloading the Abide app at Abide.co/tim. You’ll get additional stories and meditations, premium music, soothing sounds, and more. Athletic Greens: Get a free 1 year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase! Visit athleticgreens.com/HAWKINS Faithful Counseling: Go to https://faithfulcounseling.com/timhawkins for 10% off of your first month of counseling! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tim’s buddy, Bobby Meyers, is hanging out with crew! This week, Caleb just can’t stop gettin’ them gains. Tim accidentally uses a co-ed bathroom. Bobby juices a potato and goes back in time. One of the bunks on the bus gets filled with bananas. And Tim answers your vacation questions from Twitter. Also on this episode: George Washington does crossfit. Bobby burns a couch in his backyard. Tim puts a basketball playing pastor on blast. The gang looks at each others calf muscles. We hear more of Caleb’s inner monologue at Whole Foods. And Freight teaches us how to say Potomac. Learn to the piano with Tim’s favorite system: http://www.timpiano.comSpeak a new language with Pimsleur: http://www.timpimrocks.com Follow us @poddybreak Email us at poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Click here  to see Tim LIVE!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Yo, yo… Big John BranBran is on the biggity-bus… Freight totally wrecks, like, 5 whole  ‘nans. Tim asks what everyone for their Christmas “must-have’s”. Freight wants a flashlight that you can deep fry. Gonzo becomes a pirate. And the gang gets a phone call from Caleb’s beard. Also on this episode: Tom Cruise is an alien, and other conspiracy theories. John list his favorite horror movies. Caleb has a nightmare that comes true. Bob Ross gets a little arrogant. And Pablo Escobar start selling Girl Scout Cookies. Get your Poddy Break Merch! Click Here!!!! Follow us @poddybreak Email us at poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Click here  to see Tim LIVE!!! Get more of John Branyan at http://jbcomedy.webflow.io/ Tweet him @john_branyan Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The gang talks Golf, Running and Hot Dogs, 2-year COVID reflections, Botox, History and Geography Lessons, and The Cringey Debate... Big Thanks To Our Sponsors! Abide: Get started now with 25% off a premium subscription by downloading the Abide app at Abide.co/tim. You’ll get additional stories and meditations, premium music, soothing sounds, and more. Athletic Greens: Get a free 1 year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase! Visit athleticgreens.com/HAWKINS Faithful Counseling: Go to https://faithfulcounseling.com/timhawkins for 10% off of your first month of counseling! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The gang is back for an epic 2022! This week, Jackson steps off his soap box and takes a seat to join the conversation. (Don’t worry…ranting to follow). Everyone puts their heads together to try and make certain rap songs family friendly, Livy educates everyone on the art of the fitted sheet, and Jackson goes full-on Scottish. A sprawling fast food discussion ensues that will surely be referenced in academic papers. Plus, Omicron itself calls in to profess both its iron-fist rule and its fandom of the show...so sweet!  A big thanks to our sponsors!  Athletic Greens: Get a free 1 year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase! Visit athleticgreens.com/HAWKINS Uncommon Goods: To get 15% off your next gift, go to uncommongoods.com/HAWKINS Hiya: Receive 50% off your first order! Go to hiyahealth.com/HAWKINS or enter code HAWKINS at checkout Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're back for Branyan 2: Electric Boogaloo. This week, Jason walks in. Caleb and Branyan can't figure out what fresh milk is. Tim tries to figure out how much riboflavin a grown man needs. Branyan confesses his love for Mountain Dew Code Red. And Freight accidentally pitches a new Disney movie. Also on this episode: Caleb has been plowing the nans, again. Tim won't go in a hot air balloon. Branyan apparently doesn't listen to the podcast. Freight talks about dogs ruffing, while workers are roofing. Caleb lies about reading books for pizza. And everyone tells there "terrible" jokes that are always funny. Get your Poddy Break Merch! Click Here!!!! Follow us @poddybreak Email us at poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Click here  to see Tim LIVE!!! Get more of John Branyan at http://jbcomedy.webflow.io/ Tweet him @john_branyan Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Love lingers as the Hawkins couples discuss their romantic origin stories. Tim forces Luke to issue an apology to all women for his offensive jokes.  Livy uses every spare tire in the St. Louis metro area. Heather, much like Nike, just does it. Oh, and more rapping! Big Thanks to our Sponsors!  ExpressVPN: Visit ExpressVPN.com/HAWKINS to get 3 extra months free! Athletic Greens: Get a FREE 1 year supply of Vitamin D and 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase! Visit athleticgreens.com/HAWKINS Public Goods: Go to www.publicgoods.com/HAWKINS or use code HAWKINS at checkout to receive $15 off your first order with no minimum purchase! Hiya: Receive 50% off your first order! Go to hiyahealth.com/HAWKINS or enter code HAWKINS at checkout Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, the listeners know the show better than we do. Smiley is back to self-promoting on the show. Caleb wonders if there are listeners that have never seen Tim’s comedy. Freight receives his own customized “Freight Flag”. Goose makes his first appearance on the show. What’s on the windowsill? Aaaaaand Tim wants to create a rating system for the listeners gifts.   WE HAVE A FACEBOOK PAGE NOW! “Like” us @poddybreak!   Social Meeds:   Email: poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Twitter: @poddybreak Facebook: @poddybreak Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

John is hanging out on our “standard-sized” bus. This week, Heather wants Tim to un-condition the air. Caleb never knows when to stop taking supplements. John is upset that the podcast never starts on time. And Freight is buried under a mountain of Poddy Break Loot. Also in this episode: The music shop in Mr. Roger’s neighborhood is a front. Tim imagines a ventriloquist funeral. Caleb doesn’t have time to worry about artificial intelligence. John is afraid of being mauled by squirrels. And Freight imitates an owl to a moderate degree of success.   Learn to the piano with Tim’s favorite system: http://www.timpiano.com Follow us @poddybreak Email us at poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Click here  to see Tim LIVE!!! Get more of John at http://www.johnbranyan.com/ Follow John on Twitter @john_branyan Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

One episode to rule them all! In this jam packed THP, friend of the gang Bridget Van Means with Thrive St. Louis Women's Healthcare (thrivestlouis.org) joins the show to talk all things from marketing to kangaroos, we hear from prolific singer-songwriter, Randy Stonehill, and, another call-in from the Hawkin’s dear friend, Dr. Fauci, who gives us the new and improved 7 step vaccine process (find the nearest small cliff next to your home for the last one). Plus, another edition of Jackson Rants that you won’t want to miss, in which he sets the record straight on a certain “mythical” creature.  Thanks to FaithfulCounseling for sponsoring this episode. Go to https://faithfulcounseling.com/timhawkins for 10% off of your first month of counseling.   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Tim and the family/crew discuss a tattoo show that pits people against each other, the bizarre similarities between church and pot dispensary names, and the state of modern country music guitar solos. (What is Brad Paisley doing, exactly?) Livy and Tim stumble into a roast battle, Luke hurts himself doing a shoulder workout, and they recount those precious few concerts/songs that have brought them each to tears. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, the bus stinks. Tim is struggling to stay awake during movies. Caleb thinks the squatty potty is a game changer. Freight is King Kong with a plethora of nans, and everybody thinks he should give a hotel comfort masterclass. Finally, the crew wants to get dressed up to see Luke Bryan at Busch Stadium.   Follow us on Twitter! @poddybreak Email the show! poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The gang explores "Holy-ween"--the church versions of Halloween, why great men don't have lots of friends, favorite cartoons growing up, people who say AMEN at the wrong time at church, annoying conversational tics, picking your fingernails, and keeping active as you age... Big Thanks To Our Sponsors! Athletic Greens: Get a free 1 year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase! Visit athleticgreens.com/HAWKINS Faithful Counseling: Go to https://faithfulcounseling.com/timhawkins for 10% off of your first month of counseling! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The gang gets current and talks current events that are happening currently. Tim makes his plot known to “Will Smith” Albert Pujols upon his return to St. Louis. Livy saves people’s lives after having just one sip of hard seltzer. Heather sprays water at the TV during the Oscars. Luke condones steroid use in the competitive world of podcasting. Thanks to FaithfulCounseling for sponsoring this episode! Go to https://faithfulcounseling.com/timhawkins for 10% off of your first month of counseling. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Grab your waffles, it’s time to party! Tim’s producer, Aaron Willis, joins the crew this week. Freight and Aaron chow down at a Bob Evan’s. Tim wonders about his standards of a clean house. Freight puts his toothbrush in the cabinet. Caleb hugs too long because Freight throws his shoes away. And Tim puts a piranha in his mouth. Also on this episode: Aaron compares The Revenant to My Little Pony. The gang answers important questions from Twitter. Freight’s mom finds a cooler full of cash in the garage. Tim has walnut bowls. And Freight and Tim sing some Freight-i-oky!!! Get your Poddy Break Merch! Click Here!!!! Follow us @poddybreak Email us at poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Click here  to see Tim LIVE!!! Ask Aaron random questions @aaron_willis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey guys and gals, it's time for "The Best of Poddy Break... so far?*". We don't even know how to describe this. It's just a menagerie of ridiculous clips, characters and voices, failures and fruit. Caleb and Aaron are here to guide you through the veritable promised land of podcast stupidity. LET'S DO THIS!!! Tweet us @poddybreak Get your Tim Tickets at http://timhawkins.net/pages/tour-dates  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Heyooo, John Crist is CRUSHING IT on the podcast! This week, Luke Bryan sings the National Anthem. Tim says the word "orange". Josh tells a Valentine's Day story. Freight stares at a basket of crackers. John wonders if sharks are gluten intolerant. And everyone chews deer jerky directly into their microphones! Also on this episode: We discuss your #Freightvrite movies. Caleb isn't very handy, but makes up for it with his beard. Who's Kim Yon Goon? Get yourself a Freight stake. Are guys intimidated by funny women? And Freight gets the most epic gift ever! Get your Poddy Break Merch! Click Here!!!! Follow us @poddybreak Email us at poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Click here  to see Tim LIVE!!! Get your John Crist fix here: http://johncristcomedy.com/ Tweet your little fingers off @johnbcrist Download "Waiting" by lalo here: https://lalo.bandcamp.com/releases Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hold on to your seats! Daren is back on the bus. This episode, the gang visits Mount Rushmore. Freight, Tim & Daren recount where they were on the morning of September 11th. Freight remembers tiny Caleb and his pumpkin. #pumpkinsforcaleb Daren gets covered in ticks. One of those ticks calls into the show. Also in this episode: Daren gets locked out of the bathroom. Freight raises the ruff. We ask the fans to name the bus. Tim wants to put a slide in the nostrils of the mountainous visage of George Washington. Please tweet your #iamfreight stories to @poddybreak Check out Daren and his awesome Radio Show at http://darenstreblow.com/ Tweet him @darenstreblow Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The gang swaps out Livy for Levi (with just a couple vowels), then talks their favorite and least favorite phrases. Tim softens the blow on telemarketers after Heather sets him straight. Luke and Levi relive the foundation of human civilization through a game of squish ball. Oh, and there will be scat.  Thank you to this week's sponsors! Athletic Greens: Get a free 1 year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase! Visit athleticgreens.com/HAWKINS Public Goods: Go to www.publicgoods.com/HAWKINS or use code HAWKINS at checkout to receive $15 off your first order with no minimum purchase! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

John Crist is back for our 60th episode! This week, Freight seductively invites you to make ketchup with him. John can’t find his headphones. Becky gives Tim a micro drone. (Thanks, Becky!) The gang needs a Freightback explained to them. And a rampant case of Christian-ese breaks out on the bus. Also on this episode: Tim almost suffocates watching a YouTube video. Caleb gags at the thought of wet cupcakes. John gets his mouth washed out with soap. The gang discusses restaurant hygiene. And Tim writes a jingle for coffee enemas. Learn to the piano with Tim’s favorite system: http://www.timpiano.comSpeak a new language with Pimsleur: http://www.timpimrocks.com Follow us @poddybreak Email us at poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Click here  to see Tim LIVE!!! Get hair product tips from John at http://www.johncristcomedy.com/ Tweet him @johnbcrist Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jonnie DubDubs is back for some more Poddy Break. This week, Tim gets moth guts on his hands. Jonnie and Tim have “Eagle Talk”. The gang is apparently putting everyone to sleep. Freight gets all jacked on steroids. And Caleb eats pizza on a hotel towel. Also on this episode: Jonnie falls out of his bunk. Marty the Moth calls into the podcast. Bob Smiley is an unwitting participant in our newest segment. Freight wants to clip a carabiner to Jonnie’s underwear. Caleb barely lives through a technical meltdown. And we have another round of Freigh-e-okee!!!! Get your Poddy Break Merch! Click Here!!!! Follow us @poddybreak Email us at poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Click here  to see Tim LIVE!!! Jonnie's got a website: http://www.jonniew.com/ Tweet him @jonnie_w Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tim ponders the meaning of song lyrics and steps in shaving cream. Livvy gossips to God and Luke explains how to cheat on your taxes. The whole gang has a heartfelt talk about armadillos and then tries to leave the zoom meeting but fails together. Plus, the great Jordan Peterson returns to give us his special Peter Pan Peanut Butter & Steak recipe!     Big thanks to Uncommon Goods for sponsoring this episode! To get 15% off your next gift, go to uncommongoods.com/HAWKINS. Don’t miss out on this limited time offer!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join the Tim, Caleb and Freight in the mancave!!! This week, Tim has elbow pain. Nobody knows how Amazon works. Tim has a big mug. The gang takes questions from fans, and offers up a brief history of the weirdness that is Poddy Break. Also on this episode: Tim doesn’t have a foamy thing. Freight has his soffits and facia covered in vinyl. A man punches a kangaroo. The boys discuss their favorite Christmas movies. The crew gets a call from a German inventor. And Tim shakes down the entire country music industry. Merry Christmas!!! Get your Poddy Break Merch! Click Here!!!! Follow us @poddybreak Email us at poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Click here  to see Tim LIVE!!! Get your free download of the Freightback song and say hello to Josiah at: https://soundcloud.com/josiahcharon Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Now for Part 2 with John Crist! This week, Tim wants to roast a pocket-sized Freight. The gang wants to take a survival class because nobody knows how to start a fire. Caleb sees a spider and moves out. Freight needs a perch to sit atop at shows. And Tim wants to join PETA. Also in this episode: Freight spills the mints. John takes up rollerblading. A squirrel gets an Uber. Caleb has an awkward interaction with a girl he likes. John sells a kidney to go to a Taylor Swift concert. And we get a special FreightFact about ears. Learn to the piano with Tim’s favorite system: http://www.timpiano.com Follow us @poddybreak Email us at poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Click here  to see Tim LIVE!!! Get hair product tips from John at http://www.johncristcomedy.com/ Tweet him @johnbcrist Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tim cracks himself up and makes a list of lists. Luke officiates a wedding and could perhaps do yours as well. Livy ruins grilled cheese for everyone, forever. The gang laments multi-level marketing schemes and the perils of falling for one.  Thanks to ShipStation for sponsoring this episode! Go to shipstation.com, click on the microphone at the top, and enter code HAWKINS to get a 60 day free trial.    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

HEY-OOO, WE’RE BACK! Jonnie Boy is with us on this fantabulous run. This week, Tim talks about his first kiss. Jonnie knows too much about Cinderella. Caleb thinks that helicopters are waaaaayyyy doper that simulcasting. And Freight talks to truckers. Also in this episode: The gang talks about being polite. Caleb wants the squad to to wear matching sunglasses at all times. Freight calls Jonnie an anchor. Tim bungie jumps on his honeymoon. And Jonnie wants to injure himself so he can look like Ryan Reynolds. Learn to the piano with Tim’s favorite system: http://www.timpiano.com Speak a new language with Pimsleur: http://www.timpimrocks.com Follow us @poddybreak Email us at poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Click here  to see Tim LIVE!!! Jonnie tweets funny things @jonnie_w Check out his slice of the webs at jonniew.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The gang is joined by comedian and good ol’ Tim pal, John Branyan! A masterclass ensues on the art of stand up and everyone tries out material, new and old, that you won’t want to miss. Resolved in this episode: God decides who’s funny and who’s not and the government can get over your fence if they so desire...probably. Luke speaks blasphemy of cotton candy and Livy counts down from ten.  Big thanks to our sponsors! Mack Weldon: For 20% off your first order, visit Mack Weldon.com/HAWKINS and enter promo code HAWKINS Skylight Frames: For $10 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame, go to skylightframe.com and enter code TIM Public Goods: Go to publicgoods.com/HAWKINS or use code HAWKINS to receive $15 off your first order Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re back in the mancave! This week, we learn why Josh wants to be a sour cream donut. Tim tentatively tunes the television to ten tenors. Freight goes to the public pool after dark. Caleb has hot takes on Ikea and Olive Garden. And Summer Man swings by the show. Also in this episode: Get into Caleb’s head as he shops at Whole Foods. Tim is shocked to learn the Chuck E. Cheese is still in business. Caleb wants to ask Luke Bryan some pointed questions. The gang uncomfortably discusses the word “weenus”. And, everyone peers into to Caleb’s dating life. Learn to the piano with Tim’s favorite system: http://www.timpiano.comSpeak a new language with Pimsleur: http://www.timpimrocks.com Follow us @poddybreak Email us at poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Click here  to see Tim LIVE!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Step aside Luke and Livy, Spencer (the elder Hawkins child) and his wife, Keegan, take main stage this week! A trip down memory lane filled with Schoolhouse Rock and questionable child hip hop. Keegan proves her first grade teacher wrong and the gang cooks up a grueling new-parent crash course.  Thanks to ButcherBox for sponsoring this episode. Sign up at ButcherBox.com/timhawkins and get 2 lbs of ground beef free in every order for the life of your membership! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Bob is mixing condiments on the bus with us! This week, Freight proclaims his love for scented candles. Freight and his groomsmen make a shirtless pyramid. Caleb wonders what a chamberpot is. And Bob melts down meeting one of his comedy heroes. Also on this episode: Caleb’s shirts get smaller as he gets swoller. Freight contemplates his favorite cheese. The gang talks formalwear. Tim remembers when women smelled bad at weddings. Tim and Freight talk about texting. And a TV show gives Bob comedy flashbacks. Learn to the piano with Tim’s favorite system: http://www.timpiano.com Speak a new language with Pimsleur: http://www.timpimrocks.com Follow us @poddybreak Email us at poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Click here  to see Tim LIVE!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Listen in as Tim and long time friend John Branyan discuss John's wardrobe, bringing a clothes dryer on stage, and what Batman villain, Bane, has been up to lately. Also, Jack Hanna lets a puma loose on the bus, Freight tries to stave off the black plague, all whilst John dotes on his grandchildren. Don't forget to tweet the guys your comments, questions, and alternative uses for baking soda at @poddybreak Get more of John Branyan at: http://jbcomedy.webflow.io/ or on twitter @john_branyan Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kenn Kington is back on the show! This week, Todd calls into the show. Tim finishes the last shows of 2017. Freight goes on a bender. The crew says goodbye to Josh. We learn everybody’s favorite Christmas movies. And Tim loses his Christmas spirit because of too many Pentatonix songs. Also on this episode: Tim gets a typewriter. The gang introduces Kenn to the best version of “O Holy Night”. Rick Astley can’t hit those notes. Inflatable Santa has problems on the roof. The bus breaks down temporarily. And Freight assembles some Ikea furniture. Follow us @poddybreak Email us at poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Click here  to see Tim LIVE!!! Get more of Kenn at kennkington.com Tweet Kenn @kennkington Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Bob is back for another Poddy Break! Tim and Caleb try to whisper for the entire episode. Freight doesn’t have a foamy thing on his microphone. Bob buys groceries for Crappaw. Tim specifies what a sandwich is. The gang talks about who makes them laugh. And Caleb sings the Hippopotamus Song. Also on this episode: Tim loses his cheese stick. Bob leaves a Gonzo mug in his attic. Freight does an impersonation. Caleb has an audio meltdown. The gang discusses how early is too early for a pot pie. And we hear an interview with Tim at 6 years old by his father, Dave “Coach” Hawkins. Follow us @poddybreak Email us at poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Click here  to see Tim LIVE!!! Check out Bob’s Website - http://www.bobsmiley.com/Tweet Bob @bobsmileycomic Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tim puts his whole life on the line on a mug. Luke turns out to be one of those anti-stop sign people. The gang decides that Hitler was bad. Livy and Tim sing a very special song about everyone’s favorite leafy bowl food. Jackson rants about the cheater-cheater pumpkin eaters. Plus, a special call in from Mr. Pope, who simply won’t hang up the phone!  Thank you to our sponsors for this episode:  Public Goods: Go to www.publicgoods.com/HAWKINS or use code HAWKINS at checkout to receive $15 off your first order with no minimum purchase! StoryWorth: Go to www.StoryWorth.com/HAWKINS and save $10 on your first purchase! Raycon: Visit www.buyraycon.com/HAWKINS to unlock exclusive deals up to 20% off your Raycon order! Uncommon Goods: To get 15% off you next gift, go to www.uncommongoods.com/HAWKINS      Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you ready??!??!?! John Branyan is back on the bus, and we’re ready to go! Tim insults John’s love of chicken strips. Freight forges Caleb’s signature on a cymbal. John gives an egg update. Tim tries to blow up a Jolly Rancher in the microwave. And Freight finds a gnat in his loaf of bread. Also in this episode: John suggests making a twinkie gun with gunpowder. Homeland security confiscates some pumpkin canons. John explains where baby corn comes from, while Tim gets weirded out by english cucumbers. Tim eats a deer heart. AND FREIGHT GETS A COMEBACK STARTER KIT AND IT’S THE BEST THING EVER!!!!!! World, get ready for #freightbacks! Tweet us with your #freightbacks Let’s get Freight 1,000 followers! Follow him @chrismabrey Follow us @poddybreak Email us at poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Click here  to see Tim LIVE!!! Tweet John Branyan @john_branyan Click here for John's website! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's the inaugural episode of Tim Hawkins' Poddy Break. Tim is joined by long time friend and comedian Kenn Kington. They wax poetic on direct mailers, YouTube vs Facebook, connecting with the audience and the best way to make a three bean salad. Check out more of Kenn at http://www.kennkington.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The crew starts with the "golf fight", followed by a discussion about customer service and a quick game of "Republican or Democrat?" Albert Pujols calls in, and they finish up with "What are you Loving?" Big Thanks To Our Sponsors! Faithful Counseling: Go to https://faithfulcounseling.com/timhawkins for 10% off of your first month of counseling! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Whoopsie! You know when your computer goes all haywire, and you lose all your files, and you eat a pint of ice cream while weeping softly to yourself and watching old episodes of "House Hunters"? Okay, well most of that happened, and now, we can't release what would have been episode two. So, grab a bowl full of Chunky Monkey, keep a stiff upper lip, and head on over to episode 3! It's available now! We apologize for the inconvenience, and now back to your regularly scheduled shenanigans.   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In part two of Tim's time with Daren, we learn why potato starch can ruin a friendship, and the ebb and flow of comedy on a cruise ship. Tim analyses what makes comedians tick and how much fruit is too much for a caveman. Get more of Daren Streblow at: http://darenstreblow.com/ Twitter: @darenstreblow Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Tim and the gang chat about what they would each do in a purge, which horror movies were simply too much to handle, and they ask the dire question...who pooped in this room? They take a stab at making the term “nursing home” sound less depressing and Luke basks in his poll-approved victory of last week’s superhero debate.  Thanks to FaithfulCounseling for sponsoring this episode. Go to https://faithfulcounseling.com/timhawkins for 10% off of your first month of counseling. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Back from popular demand, more epic vocal guitar from Livy you won’t want to miss! Tim describes his perfect mansion in heaven and laments the danger of caring about everything. Luke tries to predict the future of transportation and shares that his secret scammer is not yet gone. Plus, a very exciting family announcement from Tim’s oldest son, Spencer! Oh, and quick sand is fake, FYI.   A big thanks to our sponsors! Butcherbox: Now offering new members a 10–16 pound turkey FREE in their first box. Just go to ButcherBox.com/TIMHAWKINS to sign up. Shipstation: Listeners can use my offer code, HAWKINS, to get a 60-day free trial, just in time for the holidays! Just go to ShipStation.com, click on the microphone at the top, and enter in HAWKINS.     Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The crew crashed Tim’s house! This week, Caleb’s arms are getting huge! Tim thinks way too hard about baby teeth. Josh wonders if Elton John and Billy Joel are the same person. And Freight has impressive thighs. Also on this episode: Tim gives Caleb some ground rules for using the sauna. The gang talks greatest guitar player of all time. A Russian Lady keeps burping Italian Sausage. Tim finds frozen wontons in the mancave. And Freight wants a talking prairie dog to help him out on the road. Learn to the piano with Tim’s favorite system: http://www.timpiano.comSpeak a new language with Pimsleur: http://www.timpimrocks.com Follow us @poddybreak Email us at poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Click here  to see Tim LIVE!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

John Branyan is BACK, and it’s time to get weird! This week, Tim counts people’s items in the express lane. Freight has an amazing Costco strategy. John is old enough to get away with petty crimes. Tim offends Jewish Vampires. And Caleb gets very upset when Freight eats his bison burger. Also on this episode: Tim’s elbow is filling up with water. Heather doesn’t put groceries in a bag. The gang thinks Freight should have his own parade balloon, and subsequently, a calendar. And John gets served an original, hand-crafted Freightback.Follow us @poddybreak Email us at poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Click here  to see Tim LIVE!!! Get more of John at johnbranyan.com Tweet John @john_branyan Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

WE’RE BACK! This week, Olivia calls in unexpectedly to talk about her love life. Tim has had enough of the machine nesters at the gym. Bob thinks Naked looks like a giant baby. Caleb googles the definition of a hole. And Freight sings Cat Scratch Fever as Gonzo. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The gang talks Locker Room Etiquette, An interesting "ministry mansion", Tim and Heather's Anniversary Recap, "The Costco Couple", Politics and Wealth, Livy's Loving Texts Big Thanks To Our Sponsors! Abide: Get started now with 25% off a premium subscription by downloading the Abide app at Abide.co/tim. You’ll get additional stories and meditations, premium music, soothing sounds, and more. Athletic Greens: Get a free 1 year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase! Visit athleticgreens.com/HAWKINS Faithful Counseling: Go to https://faithfulcounseling.com/timhawkins for 10% off of your first month of counseling! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ready for a Poddy Break? In this episode, Tim gets stuck in a glue trap, twice. Bob Smiley takes a tortilla shower and meets Merle Haggard. Caleb and Freight profess their love for hard boiled eggs and asparagus. Meet the crew, and learn everyone's bathroom warning sounds. Get to know the new tour bus mascot, Charlie the Mouse!   Hit us up on twitter @poddybreak   Get more of Bob at: http://bobsmiley.com/ Bob's on Twitter: @bobsmileycomedy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We have the legendary JOHN CRIST on the bus! Tim, John, Caleb & Freight talk about John's viral video, authenticity in the Christian industry, and eating at Buffalo Wild Wings. Ikea man makes an appearance, and Tim wants to kickstart the Freight Fruit calendar. Also in this episode: John talks about his failed stand up bits, Tim finds joy in picking up stuff in his yard, and Freight gives insight into the mysterious world of gift cards. Tweet us @poddybreak Click here to SEE TIM LIVE! Tweet John Crist @johnbcrist Or online at http://johncristcomedy.com/   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

John Branyan is wheels up with us! This week, Tim massacres a cheese stick. Josh is only happy when it’s 60 degrees. John starts a fire at his merch table. Coach tells a risque joke; then explains it. And Freight beatboxes while Tim scowls at Caleb. Also in this episode: The gang writes an uncomfortable  jingle about Freight being racist. We get about a million bathroom related questions on Twitter… What’s up with you weirdos? John tells an embarrassing story about pants. And Tim tries to drive while eating a sopping wet sandwich. Learn to the piano with Tim’s favorite system: http://www.timpiano.com Speak a new language with Pimsleur: http://www.timpimrocks.com Follow us @poddybreak Email us at poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Click here  to see Tim LIVE!!! Get more of John at johnbranyan.com Tweet John @john_branyan Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tim gets a call from the most english englishman you’ve ever done heard. Levi joins the gang to give the outsider’s take on marriage and tell us about George Washington’s wooden...feet? Heather and Livy explain the art of feminine hair critique. Luke combines his two greatest passions into one push up. The gang decides that most people suck...and that they must be banished to a mug. Big thanks to our sponsors! Skylight Frames: For $10 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame, go to skylightframe.com and enter code TIM Raycon: Visit www.buyraycon.com/HAWKINS to unlock exclusive deals up to 20% off your Raycon order! Shipstation: Go to shipstation.com, click on the microphone at the top, and enter code HAWKINS to get a 60 day free trial     Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Tim and his family discuss their greatest fears, the curious case of “Clean Plate” syndrome, and a questionable pronouncement of “the Queen of the World”. Tim recounts his early days as a joke writer for a rock radio station in Dallas, and there’s a special guest call-in from Dr. Fauci, who updates the Hawkins clan on the latest Covid-19 protocols (spoiler alert: 2 masks simply won’t do it). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's time for Poddy Break: Snack Edition… Tim and the crew chow down, and we're piping it straight into your brain! On this episode, we meet Bugle preserver, Brian Henry Thomson. Caleb and Cheese (Merch Manager Matt) discuss the last time they cried. Freight impersonates a Canadian while Caleb sings Taylor Swift. Tim talks about Satanist Youth Camps and how Frosted Mini Wheats brought down the Vikings. Also on this episode: Tim talks about his old band "Better than Enemas". The gang discusses Pokemon Go. Free back hair maintenance tips. And Poozan (Freight's wife) calls with breaking news from Grey's Anatomy. Talk to us! @poddybreak Getchu some Timmy Tickets! http://www.timhawkins.net Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tim raves about his favorite microchip that determines the fate of this very podcast. Livvy accidentally tortures a man whilst trying to fix his hiccups. The gang has a good laugh about fake laughs and reviews sneezing safety. Fake Mother Teresa calls in and professes her Hodunk-ship. Plus, Luke turns up the heat at senior center volleyball!  Thanks to FaithfulCounseling for sponsoring this episode. Go to https://faithfulcounseling.com/timhawkins for 10% off of your first month of counseling. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

John’s back!! This week, John gets in a boxing match. Tim almost catches a fly. Josh kills a moth with the unopened Jonnie W DVD. Crappaw gets a nifty nabber and goes on Shark Tank. Freight drops a fair trade, organic FREIGHTBACK! Also on this episode: The Breville almost becomes a tool of ultimate bug destruction. The show almost doesn’t go on when the power goes out. Tim writes a Freightback jingle. Caleb has serious geographical deficiencies. The moth calls into the show. And John over analyzes a handshake. Learn to the piano with Tim’s favorite system: http://www.timpiano.com Speak a new language with Pimsleur: http://www.timpimrocks.com Follow us @poddybreak Email us at poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Click here  to see Tim LIVE!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, the crew encounters a twenty-two year old dog named Nigel! Levi tells the crew about “promposals”. Jonnie reveals that his favorite PB guest is Dustin. Are there too many superhero movies? Tim lived his own version of “A Quiet Place” at church as a kid. Aaaaand what are comics allowed to take jabs at? Enjoy!     Submit your relationship questions here!!!   Email: poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Twitter: @poddybreak Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The crew discusses "Shamilton", along with what makes for a good song parody. Excessive childhood punishments are recalled, along with a lengthy inspiring conversation on the value of confidence. And finally, Eli calls to get the Netflix password. Big Thanks To Our Sponsors! Abide: Get started now with 25% off a premium subscription by downloading the Abide app at Abide.co/tim. You’ll get additional stories and meditations, premium music, soothing sounds, and more. Athletic Greens: Get a free 1 year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase! Visit athleticgreens.com/HAWKINS Faithful Counseling: Go to https://faithfulcounseling.com/timhawkins for 10% off of your first month of counseling! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jonnie W is back! (and we could talk to him if Freight didn't take his sweet time getting to the dadgum microphone...) Tim gets flummoxed by cheese cubes. Jonnie gets in trouble with his wife because of something Caleb said. And, in a special turn of events... JASON THE BUS DRIVER IS ON THE PODCAST! Jason gets a poignant phone call from the strange man that he found in his hotel room. (and it's amazing!)   Also on this episode: Jonnie talks about his past jobs. Tim starts "hot sauce talk". Jonnie rants about E.T. for the Atari 2600. Freight touches his mic. The gang talks about Fortune Cookies, Ouija Boards and Magic Eight Balls. And Jonnie leaves his rental car running during one of his shows.  Tweet the gang @poddybreak See Tim Live – Click Here Get to know Jonnie W - http://www.jonniew.com/ Tweet him @jonnie_w Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tim introduces the Department of KOC - Karens on Call. Luke deals with an e-commerce menace and Tim tries out some new material before the gang kicks the faucet off (you had to be there). Livvy performs a soul-altering guitar solo without a guitar and yet another family is ripped apart by debates over the 2009 classic, Avatar. Plus, a sincere nod of remembrance and gratitude to comedy icon, Norm MacDonald. Thank God for Norm! Thanks to ShipStation for sponsoring this episode. Listeners can use my offer code, HAWKINS, to get a 60-day free trial, just in time for the holidays! Just go to ShipStation.com, click on the microphone at the top, and enter in HAWKINS. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Tim still remembers his lines from his 5th grade play. Caleb doesn’t like chocolate. The crew fields questions from the audience. Aaaaand racist Freight makes an aggressive return to the show.     WE HAVE A FACEBOOK PAGE NOW! “Like” us @poddybreak!   Social Meeds:   Email: poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Twitter: @poddybreak Facebook: @poddybreak Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Heeeere’s Jonnie W. And also, Crappaw, Luke Bryan, Ikea Man, and Tim, and Caleb, and Freight, and Aaron… SO MANY PEOPLE!! Tim and Caleb talk tattoos. Tim finds the correlation between prison ministry and Chuck E. Cheese. Freight throws a water bottle. Jonnie channels Hannibal Lecter. And Aaron beheads a block of Velveeta. Also on this episode: The gang opens gifts from Poddy Break fans! Crappaw gets new tennis balls. Ikea man gets some olives. Jonnie shows his biblical knowledge. Freight doesn’t get a Christian pickup line. And Crappaw gives out motivational speeches. Get your Poddy Break Merch! Click Here!!!! Follow us @poddybreak Email us at poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Click here  to see Tim LIVE!!! Get updates on Jonnie at: http://www.jonniew.com/ Tweet Jonnie @jonnie_w Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jackson and TIm share their day with the help of flute accompaniment. The crew discusses Tim's V.I.P behaviors at his shows, Liv and Luke's KORN concert and which virtual world would you like to live in. Big Thanks To Our Sponsors! Abide: Get started now with 25% off a premium subscription by downloading the Abide app at Abide.co/tim. You’ll get additional stories and meditations, premium music, soothing sounds, and more. Athletic Greens: Get a free 1 year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase! Visit athleticgreens.com/HAWKINS Faithful Counseling: Go to https://faithfulcounseling.com/timhawkins for 10% off of your first month of counseling! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tim is back with the crew as they discuss what it takes to write songs, as well as songs that make them cry. Luke and Liv's all-inclusive brings up the topic of all the scams out there, Finally, they end with a flurry of thoughts about podcast upgrades, plastic surgery, and culminating with an updated tour of the NEW Hawkins estate. Big Thanks To Our Sponsors! Abide: Get started now with 25% off a premium subscription by downloading the Abide app at Abide.co/tim. You’ll get additional stories and meditations, premium music, soothing sounds, and more. Athletic Greens: Get a free 1 year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase! Visit athleticgreens.com/HAWKINS Faithful Counseling: Go to https://faithfulcounseling.com/timhawkins for 10% off of your first month of counseling! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jonnie W is back on the bus! Tim and Caleb geek out on Michael Jackson music. The gang decides if Freight should shave his head and grow a giant beard. Tim gets in trouble for running in church. Caleb leads the gang in a retrospective of corporal punishment. Jonnie gets hit by a wet orange in a gym sock, and Tim has a potty accident in the car. Chris Cornell and Neil Diamond stop by, and Luke Bryan duets with Michael Jackson. Also on this episode: Olympic Talk, Badminton memories with Tim & Freight, Tim gets a Gliffrey shirt and Freight gets his first fruit delivery from the fans. #FruitForFreight Tweet us @poddybreak Get #fruitforfreight trending, you weirdos! Get more of Jonnie W at: http://www.jonniew.com/ Ask Jonnie to sing anything as Chris Cornell @jonnie_w Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The gang talks about “a new special musical instrument”, stories in air travel, take several Q&A from the audience, and they talk about musical soundtracks and Olivia shares a long lost "Hamilton" song that never quite made the cut... Big Thanks To Our Sponsors! Athletic Greens: Get a free 1 year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase! Visit athleticgreens.com/HAWKINS Faithful Counseling: Go to https://faithfulcounseling.com/timhawkins for 10% off of your first month of counseling! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The gang gets real about a certain country music mega-star and debates her true identity. Luke explains ‘ghosting’ to Tim by declining to answer his question and walking off the podcast. Heather recounts a true western stand-off witnessed at her local Walmart. Tim critiques international music and sings with an unparalleled European flare and grace. Livy enters the draft and is already reporting boredom on the front. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

DING DING!! Time for Round 2!! Listen as Bob shares stories of dating in the modern age, as Freight slowly transforms into Crappaw. Tim reminisces about what dating was like in the old days, and Caleb is tired of playing the game. Freight doesn’t care about emojis. And Caleb says "Wife Me"... Also on this episode: Tim tears a donut hole in half. The gang reveals their personal trump cards. Bob talks about his career after divorce. Caleb goes on a diet and his circle of friends has a meltdown. And, Freight watches Bob’s periscope of the podcast WHILE HE’S ON THE PODCAST!?! Get your Poddy Break Merch! Click Here!!!! Follow us @poddybreak Email us at poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Click here  to see Tim LIVE!!! Check out Bob’s Website - http://www.bobsmiley.com/ Tweet Bob @bobsmileycomic Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tim’s inside news source in Eastern Europe has almost no clue what’s going on in Ukraine. The gang receives a complimentary batch of 2-piece swimsuits. Livy breaks down the step-by-step process of raising comedically gifted children. Heather gets road rage and hits a building with her car that was giving her some attitude. Luke recalls his boyhood days in the woods and, reportedly, is the first human to successfully put his phone charger into the wall in one fell swoop. HUGE Thanks to our Sponsors this week! Indeed: Go to indeed.com/HAWKINS to claim your $75 job sponsorship credit! Offer expires March 31st. ExpressVPN: Go to expressvpn.com/HAWKINS to get 3 extra months for free! Athletic Greens: Get a free 1 year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase! Visit athleticgreens.com/HAWKINS Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A dire call in from an ex-believer who had one too many fiber-one bars. Livy burps. Luke is open about his emotions and scavenges for everything in the Hawkins household (except banana laffy taffy). A theological debate ensues, culminating in Heather’s pronouncement of the best chick-fil-a sauce. Crappaw calls in to tell the gang he loves them and that he still has awful bowels! Thanks to FaithfulCounseling for sponsoring this episode. Go to https://faithfulcounseling.com/timhawkins for 10% off of your first month of counseling! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A painful compilation of worship fails that might not make God proud. A new potential Hawkins gang country album? Unless Livvy and Luke steal the show with a non-conforming husband & wife duet. Please pay Tim for a cameo, but don’t worry, he is still pure! Plus, a mysterious case of a missing wedding band (no, not a cover band).  Thanks to FaithfulCounseling for sponsoring this episode. Go to https://faithfulcounseling.com/timhawkins for 10% off of your first month of counseling. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In part two, Tim and Bob delve into why B's are funnier than R's, how to field dress a deer, and the Wiggle's Greatest Hits. Bob also talks about his recent divorce, his new role as a single parent, and reading the fine print for online dating profiles. Caleb and Jackson, Tim's youngest son, are along for the ride. See more of Bob at: http://www.bobsmiley.com Bob's twitter: @bobsmileycomic Also, send your questions, comments, and conspiracy theories to our new Poddy Break twitter account: @poddybreak Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

THE RETURN OF SPOILED RICH KID… This episode is a special one, because Tim, his kids, Spencer, Olivia (Livi), Levi, and Spencer's new bride, Keagan are all along for the ride. Spoiled Rich Kid kicks things off, and educates Caleb on bidets. Tim gets a flip phone, and gets upset when people eat his macadamia nuts. Levi's hair looks like Twitty from Even Stevens, and family friend Brock gets mauled by a house cat off camera. Spencer and his new bride, Keagan honeymoon at Disneyland and eat bad Japanese candy. Keagan gives her insights into the St. Louis Blues off season strategy, while Spencer and Tim get overly aggressive on the ice. Olivia gets a sloth for graduation, pledges her allegiance to the monarchy and cries at mean YouTube comments. Caleb and Tim get a curry in the basement of Rashpoot and talk about their trip to England. Oh, and Spoiled Rich Kid is back, if you're into that sort of thing. Tweet your little fingers off @poddybreak See Tim Live!!! - http://timhawkins.net/pages/tour-dates Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Nekked (aka Monty, aka Gerber, aka Kevin) sits in! Tim has hot takes on Star Wars. Caleb thinks ranch can be used on everything. Branyan's chicken finger feud continues. Freight imitates Forrest Gump as Gonzo, Peter Dinklage grows once every year. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, we’re clapping for Maddoux. Freight’s been bullying Dustin all weekend. Levi misses his stage call because he’s practicing his golf swing. Tim is giving Dustin a generous amount of “high thigh”. Gerber loves facts about himself. Who’s the meanest person on the bus? Pooz has been favoriting Dustin’s tweets at midnight. Freight likes the band Skittles. Caleb doesn’t know anything about science.   WE HAVE A FACEBOOK PAGE NOW! “Like” us @poddybreak!   Social Meeds:   Email: poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Twitter: @poddybreak Facebook: @poddybreak Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Dustin hates Disney. Tim has an epiphany about a new life change. The crew recounts odd show day memories. What’s your fav fried chicken? A fight breaks out after the Sunday night show. Aaaaaand the crew gets a late night craving for PB&Js.   WE HAVE A FACEBOOK PAGE NOW! “Like” us @poddybreak!   Social Meeds:   Email: poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Twitter: @poddybreak Facebook: @poddybreak Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Tim and the gang rave about their new favorite Icelandic band, listen to Eurovision and explain how it could be the trick to getting you out of a Spotify rut, and Tim’s 15 year old son, Jackson, makes his first ever appearance on the show to deliver an epic footwear rant. The heavy-hitting listener questions are finally answered, Livy’s slam poetry career continues (this time with a bongo beat), and, a special guest call-in from the one and only Crappaw!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tim’s brother & manager, Todd, is on the bus! This week, Freight suppresses his feelings. Tim and Todd reminisce about terrible gigs and trying to find success in the early days.  Todd talks about the unfortunate side-effects of Caleb’s diet. And Tim pretends his brother is a turtle. Also on this episode: Freight takes a drink and it’s super weird. Todd talks about addictive personalities. Caleb and Todd go for a run. Tim is writing a movie. Caleb tries to skip Christmas decorating at Freight’s house.  And Tim and Todd resent Freight’s childhood Christmases. Get your Poddy Break Merch! Click Here!!!! Follow us @poddybreak Email us at poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Click here  to see Tim LIVE!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ding ding, back in the ring, for another round of Poddy Break! Tim’s eldest son Spencer is on the show, and he’s making bowties for dogs! Caleb’s been bored during the slow work season, and Tim has lactic acid in his quads. Freight sings a sliver of karaoke, and laughs at a dog. And the Hawkins clan makes a terrifying discovery in the family van. Also in this episode: Tim misses the smell of mimeograph ink. Luke Bryan hits Dylan Scott with a folding chair. Kevin the Guitar Center guy shows up and plays some monster riffs. Freight speaks in his Russian Accent. And Spencer eats a whole jar of strawberry preserves. Get your Poddy Break Merch! Click Here!!!! Follow us @poddybreak Email us at poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Click here  to see Tim LIVE!!! Click here for Goosehaven Bowties! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tim's Mom is here! Pooz is here! John Crist is here! Honestly, this is the most people we've ever had on the bus. But even with those cameos this show is about the greatness that is Nelda Hawkins, Tim's mom. Hear her spin yarns about not being able to find a towel at the hotel, Coach accidentally drinking champagne, and the time Tim drank a bottle of laxative. She's got stories about not dancing, what Tim was like as a baby, and what it's like having a comedian as a son. Tweet us @poddybreak See Tim Live Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Branyan is back! In this episode, Tim and Caleb metaphorically hold hands in laughter. John Branyan reveals his wrestling persona, and finishing move. And, Tim's music producer, Aaron Willis, chimes in with his virtual reality roller coaster experience. Tim eats a bouillon cube. John ponders putting vanilla behind his ears. Caleb becomes a comedy goalie. And Siri clearly has no idea who she's talking to.   Also in this episode: Meet Glade, the guy that wants to know where you got that turkey leg, the gang discusses their favorite smells, and Caleb opens a window of floor space.   Chat us up on twitter @poddybreak Get more of John Branyan at: http://jbcomedy.webflow.io/ Tweet John @john_branyan Ask Aaron dumb questions @aaron_willis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Gang ponders the mysterious world of life before the internet. Livy confesses to not knowing the difference between the metaverse and matrix, and recounts getting sexually harassed by an elderly lady. Luke reads a particularly vicious Amazon review of a disappointed hot sauce user. Tim develops dad-envy at the golf course. Plus, everyone’s favorite Norwegian rocker, Ulf Nerfgun, rings in the show with some classic Scandinavian holiday cheer! (Beware of Krampus).  Thank you to our sponsors! Butcherbox: New members can get free bacon for life and up to $100 off! Sign up at butcherbox.com/TIMHAWKINS Mack Weldon: For 20% off your first order, visit mackweldon.com/HAWKINS and enter promo code HAWKINS     Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Tim roasts Caleb for going to the hospital on the road. FREIGHT IS BACK. Daren’s friend Brian calls in. Caleb thinks George Beverly Shea sounds like he’s chewing a hamburger whilst singing.The crew gives relationship advice to a listener. Tim steps in the net as the comedy goalie. Daren gives scorching hot takes on Star Wars, and where did Alex’s nicknames come from?     Submit your relationship questions here!!!   Email: poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Twitter: @poddybreak Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

John Crist is rolling with us on the bus! This week, Tim teaches a masterclass on Keurig use. John thinks that actors aren’t being real enough. Caleb gets hit with a Freight Fist. And a very young Tim brings down the house with an inappropriate accent. Also in this episode: Tim and John talk about first gigs and worst gigs. Freight reveals his alter ego, Earthquake McGoon. John chooses Dunkin Donuts over Krispy Kreme. Tim throws shade at paninis. John quotes a verse from one of the testaments. And Freight knocks out his costar in Bye Bye, Birdie. Get your Poddy Break Merch! Click Here!!!! Follow us @poddybreak Email us at poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Click here to see Tim LIVE!!! Get hair product tips from John at http://www.johncristcomedy.com/ Tweet him @johnbcrist Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Bob Smiley is rollin’ along on the Poddy Bus! This week, Tim doesn’t know what data is. Freight chimes in with an early and epic Freightback. Caleb is afraid of bathroom germs. The gang gets in a kerfuffle over hand washing. We meet Tim’s “special helper”, Reggie the Pocket Elf. And Smiley is trying to find a date on “Buckets of Fish”. Also on this episode: Tim accidentally changes a word in a joke and bombs. Bob sleeps in a kitchen and showers in the mop sink. Caleb wonders how much protein there is in a grasshopper. Freight and the gang opens gifts from fans. And Tim finds a trio of Eight-Wait-Boom songs. Learn to the piano with Tim’s favorite system: http://www.timpiano.comSpeak a new language with Pimsleur: http://www.timpimrocks.com Follow us @poddybreak Email us at poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Click here  to see Tim LIVE!!! Get more of Bob at http://bobsmiley.com/ Tweet him @bobsmileycomic Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Levi’s brother Spencer salvages a plethora of cat poop for a Christmas gift. Freight is a gift party dictator. Jonnie joins the crew as the neighbor kid on Christmas morn. How old is Monty? Tim thinks Jonnie has a thumb head. Caleb receives a disappointing gift from a fan, whilst Freight is presented with the ULTIMATE benefaction (good word)!   WE HAVE A FACEBOOK PAGE NOW! “Like” us @poddybreak!   Social Meeds:   Email: poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Twitter: @poddybreak Facebook: @poddybreak Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Jean (aka “Lil Freight”) joins the crew! Dustin shares his in-depth knowledge of Paw Patrol. Caleb experiences a guy at the gym that is out of control. Tim wants to build his own gym with special etiquette. And Monty receives an embroidered towel as a gift from a fan. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Tim and the gang take on the “birds aren’t real” phenomenon, discuss the science of fruits versus vegetables, and share stories of unusual roadkill. Luke explains the unexpected origin story of pirates, and why they might not all just be the swashbuckling villains we see on the big screen! And finally, the gang sobers up for a more serious discussion about career and financial struggles, with Tim sharing his thoughts on how “making it” in comedy has drastically changed in the course of his life.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The gang is hanging out in the man cave at Tim’s casa. Cheese has the sniffles. Tim installs a dimmer while sitting on the toilet. Freight sits on his mic. Caleb sprays sea salt in his hair. The gang has hat talk, and decides to go see hockey in Canada. Also in this episode: Freight has a garage sale. Tim ponders getting the band back together. The gang talks about pranks. Freight pees in Tim’s cornflakes. And Cheese has his #iamfreight moment. Let’s get Freight 1,000 followers! Follow him @chrismabrey Follow us @poddybreak Click here  to see Tim LIVE!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Levi explores the potential of Cold Stone Steve Austin. Caleb is unsure if a pepper is a fruit. Freight's fame pulls people away from Bob's table. And Tim is in a Gospel trans.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It’s da crew, baby! Wassadoo? This week, Tim has flashbacks to his time as an Olive Garden waiter. Caleb has another encounter with the dancing excerciser at his gym. Freight sits in an adirondack chair. AND SPOILED RICH KID CALLS IN!!! Also in this episode: Tim runs over Freight’s family photos with a lawnmower. Caleb and Tim relive their ill-fated radio show. Josh and Caleb talk about Pop-Tarts and Gushers Fruit Snacks. Olivia joins us for travel talk. And Tim gets emotional talking about the Kardashians. Learn to the piano with Tim’s favorite system: http://www.timpiano.com Speak a new language with Pimsleur: http://www.timpimrocks.com Follow us @poddybreak Email us at poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Click here  to see Tim LIVE!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The gang tries to paint a picture of the typical Hodunk listener and discusses discount cremation practices. Heather opens up about her family’s fancy (and no-longer secret) Italian hotel. Tim learns to speak German, for dogs. Livy makes her father an offer he simply can’t refuse. Luke unveils his plan to make millions with little more than a box fan. And, crappaw returns to either show support or take his vengeance! You never can tell with him. Big Thanks To Our Sponsors! Athletic Greens: Get a free 1 year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase! Visit athleticgreens.com/HAWKINS Faithful Counseling: Go to https://faithfulcounseling.com/timhawkins for 10% off of your first month of counseling! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The gang goes news panel and reports on their respective areas of expertise. Livy keeps Luke’s ego in check and questions reality (television). Tim is made to feel inferior by every single person on the internet. Luke tries to fix Netflix and strives to be the best that no one ever was. Heather scratches her 20 year itch...gently! Thank you to our sponsors this week: Faithful Counseling: Go to https://faithfulcounseling.com/timhawkins for 10% off of your first month of counseling! Athletic Greens: Get a free 1 year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase! Visit athleticgreens.com/HAWKINS Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Gang has a collective crying fit talking about how difficult it is when families begin to grow apart. (Adele is involved, obviously). Tim practices his football coaching routine with an unusual soundtrack. Livy embraces total fashion freedom and Luke fails to make friends at the gym. Heather needs custom headphones made for her unique ear shape. Oh, and it is decided that everyone has a junk drawer - if you think you don’t, you just haven’t found it yet.  Thank you to our sponsors! Public Goods: Go to www.publicgoods.com/HAWKINS or use code HAWKINS at checkout to receive $15 off your first order with no minimum purchase! Faithful Counseling: Go to https://faithfulcounseling.com/timhawkins for 10% off of your first month of counseling. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Freight won’t come out of his bunk. Tim has some BIG family news! Tim can do a dog sound. The crew receives the largest gift basket in Poddy Break history. Levi throws down some serious love wisdom. Aaaand Branyan and Tim want to arrange a marriage for Caleb.     WE HAVE A FACEBOOK PAGE NOW! “Like” us @poddybreak!   Social Meeds:   Email: poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Twitter: @poddybreak Facebook: @poddybreak Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, the long awaited return of Jackson Rants! The gang gives their take on college sports and marvels at Luke’s budding fan base. Oh, and Tim gets a visit from the mafia (please don’t ever ask him about his business).  Thanks to FaithfulCounseling for sponsoring this episode. Go to https://faithfulcounseling.com/timhawkins for 10% off of your first month of counseling. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices