The Slanted Hallway (slantedhallway)

Harry Beatnick wants to be the world's greatest beat poet, will his bongos help him beat the odds? 

A government agent is tasked with investigating a Hawaiian restaurant.

A boxer wonders if the beating he's about to take is really worth it.

We've found it, the scariest thing in the world: someone stating their ill-informed opinions loud enough for more than say, 100 people, to hear them. Only this time it isn't their trusty government official doing it, it's somebody else! And that somebody else is a hobo! And that hobo's name is Marty! And those opinions are numerous! Scared yet? 

The monkeys of Monkey World live on a planet a lot like our own... except its got monkeys on it. Now that's good Sci-Fi.

A PSA to all those good-for-nothing housewives out there. 

A veteran chef is forced by a cruel restauranteur to flee deep into the back of house and wage an escalating one-man war against his pursuers. Jean J. Rambeaux is a former waiter/busboy who did 5 tours in a Vietnamese restaurant and won three "Pep Boys 'Does Everything for Less' Gold Stars", but his past still haunts him.

A man finds out for himself whether or not time travel is a good basis for a scary story.

The Civil War pitted brother against brother... and ALIEN AGAINST MAN?????

A highly educated and well-to-do gentleman is appalled to find the truth about a small village in Maine.

A mild-mannered receptionist finds herself not-so-mildly-mannered after enduring a myriad of injustices. How will she choose to right these wrongs? With a certain… not-good satchel perhaps?

A penny saved is a penny earned, and don't trust anyone, not even a wife.

This episode? It's pretty..... unusual. John brown is a lousy nerd but he's scared so we all have to listen to him. OR DO WE?????

William White may be sick with something, just like the rest of us probably are. And just like the rest of us, he should pay somebody indefinitely in order to fix or kind-of fix those not easily defined ailments. OR SHOULD HE?

We watched The Lighthouse. 

Mr. Narrator graces us with a tale from OUTER SPACE????

Is he? Is she??????? Are they??????? Listen to find out, or don't and not???????

A question that has driven a wedge between otherwise happy couples since time immemorial: "Where do you want to eat tonight?". Find out if Thomas and Victoria Adder can survive!

Could bugs be living in their own little world that's exactly like ours?

A west-Arkansas town finds out that their breath stinks. Listen to find out if they take it well.

Dog Cop!

A past-her-prime scientistess wonders if she can find a man before she's all dried up. Or I guess it's a metaphor for that or something.

A mother's greatest fear is letting her child have too much fun. Toys combined with sugary treats push these Mothers to the very brink of their very patience.

Sasha Petrodollarsevitch is after his dead wife's killer. He's also an FBI agent, and he's also a karate expert. 

By and by a Bayou Baddy baits and berates a bundle of buddies...

The worst curse that any who curses has ever been cursed!

Private investigator Grant Shields is on the hunt for answers once more. But is he asking the right questions? Boy, that'd sure be a problem if he wasn't. 

A late night television variety show's host has something he needs to get off of his chest.

Sometimes the only way to show off how good you are is to make someone else pay for it!

From "The Adventures of Clark Chesterfield: American Extraordinaire". Watch, with your ears, as America battles to maintain its perfect winning streak of wars. 

The ultimate conclusion to the 4 part series. The entire world waits with bated breath for the answer to what's OUT THERE. See how I did that? That's how you know it's going to be good. Clever stuff. Clever stuff. Oh! Am I still typing? Whoops! Just gotta take my fingers off the keyb 

A young lady tries to get her spine fixed by a doctor but instead a bunch of scary things happen to her. 

The very president of no less than the very United States is tasked with handling the very fate of humanity in this very episode! How, you ask, aliens and our very relations there with is how!

A very SLANTED CHRISTMAS!

From the files of Detective Grant Shields

On this episode a guest writer and Mr. Narrator take a slightly Slanted take on the classic radio program, 'Prairie Home Companion'. What could go wrong in the lives of two totally unsupervised children wandering around the great depression? Listen to find out...

Henry Schlecter is a spy. The Matterhorn. A briefcase with some very important information in it. You get the idea.

The Brothers Harpe sure do love drinking and murdering. But will their murdering get in the way of their drinking? Will their drinking get in the way of their murdering? Will they quit all their sinful ways and find Jesus? Perhaps on some latter day.

Julie must decide between staying with her somewhat boring husband, or murdering the innocent in the name of Satan and John Coltrane.

Goshen City needs a savior A.S.A.P hopefully the son of a billionaire philanthropist can figure out how to carry on his father's legacy of philanthropy. 

In this particularly terrifying installment of The Slanted Hallway, a blood-drinking baron invites a political cartoonist into his big spooky mansion. What she uncovers is not that scary, to say the least. But to say the accurate amount would be to say that what she uncovers is VERY scary indeed. Join us next week for a story about either a vampire, a werewolf, a ghost, or Frankenstein!

The most dangerous man with an extra finger in the West is dead...or is he?!?!

A Baron of industry comes to grips with his own mortality in the only way he knows how: throwing more money at the problem.

Can a small newspaper stand up to competition and big government??? Will internal struggles rip them apart????? Whats black and white and read all over? Hopefully the paper, or maybe not?

What happens in the Arctic, stays in the Arctic! Which is unfortunate for Captain Blackwood's radar crew "Group 48", there's some-Thing trapped with them up there...

Famed sleuth, Grant Shields is at it again as he snoops around Milwaukee for the person responsible for killin all these people and whatnot. 

From the files of Detective Grant Shields. P.I.. Grant finds himself lost once more amidst an investigation which threatens his beloved home city. 

A man named Laurence is sentenced to die, but instead has the adventure of a lifetime.

"Vadim Krakhmal - Whales Of The North" is under a Creative Commons license (CC BY-SA 3.0)  https://creativecommons.org/licenses/...

Music promoted by BreakingCopyright: https://soundcloud.com/jeaniro/hydros...

https://www.patreon.com/MichaelGhelfi

The Smiths are moving into the neighborhood! And they're looking for quiet suburb living but what they got was nothing but 669 CABOT STREET

A debunker hunkers himself to hear, he has become his greatest fear: an aloof unthruther whose debunking junk is totally bunk. 

In this week's episode, the National Christian Council On Fire Prevention, or  N.C.C.F.P for short, teaches us the importance of good, Christian, fire safety.  Fire Safety. It's about fire safety. 

Mr. Narrator takes us on a miniature adventure on the foggy sloped paddocks, the leaning barn floors, the slanted stallways or the equine world. This story is about horses. We think.

Gladys is as happy as can be! She has the perfect home, the perfect life, the perfect husband. That is of course, until she discovers he has a secret: He’s been messing around on the side… with eating people! Which is very messy.

Private Investigator Grant Shields is about to nab the greatest art thief of all time!

But actually the narrator fights with a malfunctioning censor as he tries recount a classic fairy tale... OR DOES HE???????

One bad man's good deeds will not go unpunished!....Slanted!

Another detective story from the files of private investigator Grant Shields, as he tracks down a horrid killer who could be ANYONE!

A story about a town, a man, a sheriff, a mayor, townsfolk, and whats this a psychopaths on the loose???? Say it ain't so- But it is!

Straight from the mouth of madness, Milton Crane's newest novel has a very confusing and terrifying power...

They've still got it. Age is just a number. Thank you for bein' a friend. You're a pal and a confidante. 

Chugga-chugga choo-choo, there's a gruesome murder that needs solving!

A man buys a used car and gets exactly what he paid for. He also gets an auto loan, an auto loan financed perhaps by the Slanted Hallway cosigned with the Devil himself.  Also, the car may or may not be haunted. 

Star crossed star are star crossed at one another, now they must star cross swords and wits in a battle of swords and wits...

Edmund Hadley wishes to be the first to summit Everest, but those dastardly Mountain pirates are doing their thing and it really gets in his way! 

The Fond Du Lac Hummingbirds have a new ringer on their team, its not a player but a bunch of stogies with a scary power...

Oh these two fellas? Well you could most definitely call them a number of things, but "PEEVED" is number one! Number two? "MURDEROUS!"

In part three of this series. We follow a dedicated public servant on his quest to save his great nation from... themselves? How could that be? Listen to find out!

A man makes a deal with the Devil, everything works out for him, and 'The Devil' doesn't try to pull any fast ones.......... OR DOES HE?

Animation magnate, Chase Ashby, is hassled while trying to do whatever he wants.

A space adventure for the ages! Captain Clark Chesterfield hurdles through the stars to meet with Martian Communists!

Compare to H.P Lovecraft's classic tale of horror. Or compare to a nice lasagna. You know how you can just stick a lasagna right back in the oven the next day to enjoy a second time? Well let's just say, when a young art student goes to stick that lasagna back in the oven, the oven door closes with his hand inside, because his oven isn't on a level surface like the factory instructions say, no he's trapped inside: THE SLANTED HALLWAY.

A gang of criminals succeeds in selflessly contributing towards the accomplishment of a common goal. Or do they? Hmmmm.

In an alternate science fiction reality, a man finds himself so destitute he is willing to sell his body for experimental testing at the local Gaggiman's Consumer Goods Factory. The experiment may or may not go awry, which may or may not cause him to end up in a science fiction reality even less scientific and more fictional than his own. Special thanks to Andrew Orvedahl for playing the main character, Phillip K. [CENSORED].

A young lady strives to cross the finish line first, as the city she grew up in the fields outside of falls into ruin behind her. Oh and that young lady is a HORSE! Brothers feuding etc. 

There's only one thing Tommy Doyle loves more than fire, and that's edged weapons. 

American hero and professional-extraordinaire: Clark Chesterfield, finds romance in the eternal city. God help anyone who stands in his way. 

Brave members of the Metropolitan Police Department must solve a near unsolvable murder, before the killer strikes again! A difficult task, made all the more difficult when your warrants are processed by the First Circuit Court of The Slanted Hallway!

The world awaits for the greatest artist to ever do any kind of art, to do his art. Which happens to be stealing from them and getting away with it. 

Consider dear listeners, two friends, Sam Burns and Artie Fitzroy, and a chance meeting with fate. The place The Oyster River Pub. Half Irish bar, half ugly, all slanted hallway..........

The narrator recounts one of his favorite childhood stories for yours and mines listenings pleasures. SPOOKY

George, Luanne, and Billy are three typical teeny-boppers who spend a weekend getting stabbed and stuck and poked at camp Stickypokeystabby.

A middle-American family just like your family, or my family, or the family that lives in the identical house in between our two families. Tune in every Wednesday at a reasonable hour for more stories of a family just like your family, except the house is bigger, and nobody works, and everyone is happy all the time.   

A renowned huntress is in pursuit of The Most Dangerous Game. Or is she? In pursuit. The one in being pursued. Ah?

Edith hag is going for a typical standard completely unremarkable trip from one place to another place OR IS SHE?????

A youngster named Pud and his gramps hatch a plan to thwart his nagging aunt Drippy along with Death himself, using the power of wishes.

A married couple has their lives turned upside by one innocent piggy bank with driving goggles...sounds SLANTED!......HALLWAY!

Tonight we will be taking a glimpse into one of those perilous moments that cam before victory was certain. We are lead by our interned Captain, Mortimer Falstaff, and the crew of the USS Biddeford, a corvette possibly outnumbered and certainly out matched in their pursuit of the DKM WURSTBITTE.

Clark Chesterfield singlehandedly wins the Korean war. Spooooooky.

When Linda Richards goes to the store she's tricked by a salesman with a devil tale and a devil beard into buying the most devilish method of heating food! And now all her precooked frozen chickens have come home to roost! 

Simply? Yes it is. 30 something episodes and they keep coming but this week? We're all assaulted by THE BEST

Part 2 of this episode? It's even more..... unusual. John Brown is still a lousy nerd who's scared so we all have to listen to him. OR DO WE????? The FBI is on the case. 

It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s… one town’s attempt to restore its former glory? Superiorman meets his greatest challenge yet- but it might not be what you think…

A scary selection of stories of yuletide terrors designed to scare.

Gertrude Fasola lived a simple life, its her death that's complicated! DOCTORS HATE HER!

Everything isn't what it seems at the Spooky Mansion motel...

Follow Dorothy's magical journey through the magical world of... TELEPHONE SWITCHBOARD OPERATION?

Based on the Cookie Revolution of 1959.

In the criminal justice system crimes against the swift completion of a courier’s appointed route are considered especially heinous. In Milwaukee the dedicated Agents of the Inspector General’s office who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Special Victims Unit. These are their stories.

Tales of both yuletide and horror!

The Narrator spends some time telling the story of a mouse and a cat???? But this is no ordinary game of cat and or mouse????