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Date
Titre
Durée
17 Feb 2022
BDSM
00:27:55
On today's episode, learn how to find pleasure in your power AND your submission, as well as how to feel pain in a whole new, much less painful way.
Every heartbreak, every loss, every asshole comment your boss makes, every time you catch yourself failing to stick up for yourself... will never again feel the same.
In today's episode, we're going to explore how masturbation as a metaphor can increase your confidence...
And how literally masturbating can too!
If you want to get in on the next round of the Iconic Queer Mastermind and apply all these sexual metaphors to grow your business, add your name to the waitlist here: https://coachalexray.com/iconic
And if you want to experience this wild, sexy, spiritual, queer birthright alongside me, join the Unicorn Herd (my email list) here: https://coachalexray.com/#email
Body Image & Honoring Your Autonomy w/ Victoria Jocko
00:50:22
Today I have my incredible client Victoria Jocko on the podcast to share how the Confident Queer process helped her gain confidence in her body and her relationship.
She's actually an empowerment coach herself and I am delighted for you to get to hear her experience and her advice.
We talk about polyamory, loving your body, and honoring your autonomy.
Overcoming Shame & Living Polyamorous w/ Chuck Copenspire
00:54:26
Whoa!!
Today we covered a lot of ground.
I can't wait for you to hear from Chuck as he shares his story of overcoming shame about his autism, parenting, polyamory, and so much more.
If you're working on releasing shame in any area of your life, this episode is it!!
And if you're in a polyamorous relationship or thinking about it, you're really going to appreciate Chuck's insight into what's worked and what hasn't worked for him.
In this episode, my client Brian Grainger shares how he's used my Confident Queer Process to release control and attract clients, friends and partners.
He also shares tips that he uses with his weight loss clients that will work in dating, moving, business, and just about every area of your life.
MIND BLOWN.
Plus Brian share's a brand new idea I've never heard of before: creating a consensual relationship with yourself.
This episode will shift your relationship with others, your inner world, and your body.
In today's episode, I want to share with you how I magnetically attract friends.
This topic came up by request through my Instagram stories.
So here it is!
I want to give you the beliefs and habits that allow me to walk into rooms of strangers and instantly make friends.
This happens for me alllll the time now.
But it wasn't always this way.
When you implement the tips in today's episode you'll find that you make friends more easily and with the types of people you actually want to create a friendship with.
Today I want to share with you one of the most confidence-boosting experiences I have had in a long time.
Have you ever thought of booking yourself a nude or boudoir photoshoot?
Are you feeling like you'd need to be a lot more confident before booking?
Well, waiting till you feel more confident is actually preventing you from becoming more confident!
In this episode, peek behind the scenes with me and the photographer behind Images Male Photography, David E, as we discuss the details of planning, and shooting my first nude shoot.
I am so thrilled to begin this multi-episode series with you today!
As you know, I recently moved from Maryland to California and it has been quite the adventure!
The growth, the fear of change, the very rocky start less than 24 hours before we hit the road which nearly postponed the trip, the drama on the road, the heartache of being so far from everything and everyone I've known.
*takes an excessively deep breath*
IT HAS BEEN A JOURNEY Y'ALL.
And beginning today I want to share with you 5 episodes of recordings from the road, lessons, and stories told right in the moment.
Life lessons for confidence are told through vivid experiences you'll never forget.
We begin today with a realization of appreciation that no one had ever quite explained well to me.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know to appreciate what I have... but this hit different.
I've been cooking up something super fun for the month of June to bring more confidence and self-esteem to Pride Month.
This the very first podcast challenge!
Pride month is an amazing time of celebration and reflection and recognition.
And the LGBTQIA+ community is made of up individuals with real stories which often aren't shared.
This June we are taking things below surface level and I'm challenging you to the Queer Intimacy Challenge... to see others and be seen for what actually matters to you.
Let's go beyond 'how are you?' ...'good.'
And towards, "who are you? What's important to you? What motivates you? What makes you get out of bed in the morning?"
Check out today's episode to get the full details and grow your confidence while taking part in the wave of conscious intentional queers.
Join us.
P.S. The members in Confidence Coven are blowing this challenge up with special bonuses and prizes
Today I’ve got some help for my trans and genderqueer Unicorns when it comes to other people respecting our new pronouns.
Sometimes it can be tough to know why and how to confront the people in our lives who can’t seem to get on board with our new pronouns. Internet advice abounds but how much of it feels really doable?
If you’re not trans, or don’t have pronoun problems, this one's for you too. We’ve all had the experience of wanting to confront someone, for 1000 different reasons and all the same stuff applies, no matter what the issue.
Not only can we confront people without needing to be angry or over the top, we can build our own confidence in the process. Sounds crazy right? Listen in to find out how.
Have I got a treat for you this week. In this episode I get to chat with Frank Smith, the creator and star of ‘Open To It’ a webseries about queer and polyamerous relationships.
I love how Frank is helping to shift our community’s narrative from one of suffering to one of thriving with love and openness. He’s got a really helpful perspective on centering joy in our lives. And you’ll love his advice for poly relationships (because real humans = real opportunities for messes of feelings).
Today I want to celebrate with you the diversity of LGBTQIA+ identities in our beautiful community. I’ve got 6 guests, each with a unique story to share about finding and becoming themselves.
This episode was amazing to record, each story has something to say about what it means to be queer. I hope you can find yourself here too. Or at least a part of your story.
This is what pride is all about. We each have our uniqueness and we are willing to stand together for each other and say ‘you’re not alone.’
What an episode I have for you! Today we get stories, wisdom and way too much fun with The Old Gays. Oh, and blindfolds, lots of blindfolds!
They share so much, they’ve got stories from creating The Old Gays, to coming out and being queer in the 60s & 70s.
I can’t wait for you to get to know Jessay, Bill, Robert and Mick, the fabulous queens of The Old Gays. They’re so passionate about meeting and supporting the younger generations and that’s something our community needs. We have history in our community that we can’t lose and getting to meet and connect with the older generations helps us keep that history alive.
I’m so, so excited for you to meet The Old Gays! This was such a fun episode. I still can’t believe I got to have them on the podcast 🤩
In this episode we're back to exploring my cross-country move. This week I share the last lesson from the road and a surprising twist on my relationship with my parents.
If you feel pressured to always be on social media, you’re going to find a huge relief in this episode too.
As you listen along with my journey I hope you see that confidence isn’t something you achieve, it’s something you continually practice.
Here we go! It’s time for the conclusion to The Big Move. Let’s wrap this up with a glittery bow and some reflection on shaking up my life, and yours.
I know it feels far away to just jump off the board into the deep end and turn your life upside down. Hell, I don’t think I knew what I was getting into and I went from one end of the country to the other. That is ok.
The truth is, it’s all just one step at a time. That’s all we can ever do.
Tune in this week for some ideas, (blow your mind!) questions and encouragement.
I have some story time for you this week. We are headed back in time as we look at how this thing called relationship works, or doesn’t!
The title is a giveaway so let’s cut to the chase, we broke up, of course. Let’s chat about why and what I learned, all hanging out, with a bit of shade.
Mistakes were made, all over the place, on all sides. That’s pretty normal, we all have our ‘stuff.’ The best part is we get to work on it, together.
I have an amazing human to introduce you to this week. My client, coach colleague, academic and fellow ADHDer, Jacy Tackett.
We started with hypocrisy, detoured through philosophy, got a little caught up with duality in coaching, cruzed around in sales processes and ended up with consent and so much more between. It has been such a pleasure to be on her team and I’m thrilled to share her with you.
We had so much fun together I had to split it up into two episodes.
I have an amazing human to introduce you to this week. My client, coach colleague, academic and fellow ADHDer, Jacy Tackett.
We started with hypocrisy, detoured through philosophy, got a little caught up with duality in coaching, cruzed around in sales processes and ended up with consent and so much more between. It has been such a pleasure to be on her team and I’m thrilled to share her with you.
We had so much fun together I had to split it up into two episodes.
Creating a safe space non-performatively w/ Simone Seol
00:44:29
I’m so pleased to introduce you to my amazing friend and colleague Simone Seol!
She is a marketing coach who walks the walk. And we had such a fun (and slightly anxiety inducing) conversation about the ways we’ve f***ed up and learned.
Enjoy this conversation as we get a little naked, figuratively, and chat about our life and coaching experiences. Some of them were terrible and we’re not here to sugar coat it.
And tomorrow tune in for a special bonus part two where Simone and I share how we are working on being the change we want to see in our industry.
This is for coaches and people who are getting coaching too. Coaching is an amazing tool, but the industry has done a sucky job of valuing safety and consent.
Creating a safe space non-performatively w/ Simone Seol pt. 2
00:30:40
I’m so pleased to introduce you to my amazing friend and colleague Simone Seol!
She is a marketing coach who walks the walk. And we had such a fun (and slightly anxiety inducing) conversation about the ways we’ve f***ed up and learned.
Enjoy this conversation as we get a little naked, figuratively, and chat about our life and coaching experiences. Some of them were terrible and we’re not here to sugar coat it.
And tomorrow tune in for a special bonus part two where Simone and I share how we are working on being the change we want to see in our industry.
This is for coaches and people who are getting coaching too. Coaching is an amazing tool, but the industry has done a sucky job of valuing safety and consent.
I was thinking about you and about how s*x is one of the hardest (pun intended?) places to really feel confident. So I decided to tell you 3 totally embarrassing stories about my s*x life.
I wanted you to know that I’m out here living this confidence thing, getting uncomfortable and living to tell all the tales. I really wanted you to know, so you can learn to do it too.
Or maybe you just want to hear some crazy s*x stories. Either way.
This week let’s be in the moment. I’ve got a moment of calm for you, and a moment on the relationship between discomfort and what’s happening around us.
When we’re in the uncomfortable moments, all we want is calm and quiet. Then it seems calm creates it’s own type of uncomfortable motivation to begin again.
So let’s just take some space for being a messy human being. It’s ok. Whatever is happening right now, you’ve got this too.
Today is a great day to talk about relationships. In the movies and on TV, they all seem to just happen, as if by magic. Two people in the right spot at the right time? Boom! Done!
There isn’t much we see, growing up or grown up about what it takes to be ready and actually available mentally and emotionally when that relationship does show up. So I’m here, laying out what work I’ve done, and keep doing, to help this relationship thing happen.
We’ve all got our own work to do, but let’s work together, we can get so much more done. 😘
This week’s podcast is about the rubber hitting the road. In some ways, kinda literally! I keep talking about having your own back, so let’s talk about one way that can, and did, happen in my life.
I really love to support my friends, sometimes showing up in support ends up being more than I have capacity for. Then there is the decision to stay or go.
This week we’re going to talk through how to make decisions for ourselves. This isn’t easy but I’m here to tell you, making a decision on purpose supports everyone.
This week it’s time to get real. Lots of us have been in that slow slide down towards a rock bottom, sometimes for years (and years…) while a part of us watches and wonders if this is all we get.
Today I’m going to talk about what I learned about myself through and after all that pain. Pain can teach us. How we respond to pain is something we can change, if we want to.
I’m inviting you, this week, to consider how you want to respond to your own rock bottom.
I’ve got another episode for you from the porn industry.
This time I talked to Nico Nova, a model with a mission. I can’t wait for you to meet him.
Nico understands that humans have a complicated relationship with themselves and shame gets in the way. He is out here creating porn to help people feel less alone and less shame.
Combining porn and self development? I’m absolutely here for it.
I think you’re going to love meeting Nico just as much as I did.
Today we’re going to wrap up this series on sex work.
I’m going to talk about a particular experience I had while Gogo dancing. (So being a gogo boy isn’t exactly sex work but it’s still in the erotic industry, and the lesson still applies.)
We’re going to look at how trauma holds you back from accepting support.
We have all had trauma, it’s part of being a human.
We also all deserve support.
So I'm going to shed some light on what happened to me and how I’ve been working through it.
Setting Boundaries with your Audience w/ Chelsea Dickinson
00:56:27
Today you get to meet my friend Chelsea Dickinson aka The Sabotage Queen.
Every time we’ve FaceTimed we said, “why the heck did we not record this? People would PAY to listen in on our conversations! This shit is gold.”
Sooooo now you do get to listen in, but for free!
On today's episode we talk about how you should be more of a bitch on the internet, how to survive overwhelming amounts of attention, and how to set boundaries in the increasingly less private online world.
It’s the unfiltered conversation you didn’t even know you needed to hear.
Off Stage: The Dilemma Between Authenticity and Social Media
00:20:36
Weather you're using social media to connect with people or as a way to make money, it's still requires you to put in labor.
So how is this free labor affecting your overall "work load"?
Can you spend time online without getting closer to burn out?
And is the pressure to put on a show online eroding your authenticity?
In this episode, we're exploring all that and more.
If this is important to you, you're going to love the workshop I'm running called Off Stage. We're going to actively work on managing the balance between on and off our social media stage.
The holiday season is upon us. And with it, the stress of family dynamics.
So let’s talk about it.
I’ve got a framework that’ll make it much easier for you to set boundaries.
Let’s make that difficult conversation with mom, dad, grandma, whoever a bit easier so you can clear that elephant out of the room and enjoy their company a bit more.
This week I have an interview to share with you. While media has improved in the way it represents queer people, there are many groups of people still missing from the scene.
There are large areas of America that are not as devoid of queer life as it might seem.
So today I'm chatting with my assistant. He chose to be queer in rural America.
I hope you have as much fun getting to know him as I have. Enjoy.
PS. If you need help in your business with things you'd just rather not do, he can help. Reach out.
***About the new format & Discount Code*** Thank you for being one of our awesome loyal listeners! I can't express how thankful I am for you. I can't wait to be back with you in the new year. The new format will include a lot more guests. If you have any topics or guest you would like to suggest, please email us at podcast@coachalexray.com
As a thank you for your support of the show, get 50% off your first month of the Confident Queer Membership. Just use code: PODCASTFAM ***
What happens when an entrepreneur steps back from their podcast for eight months due to a whirlwind of life events? A mini identity crisis YAYYYYYY 🎉
This last year has been nuts, moving across the country, experiencing a breakup, hiring a new assistant, and juggling part-time work, just to name a few things I've been up to. This period of intense change sparked an identity crisis and compelled me to reassess my entrepreneur identity. Hear about the invaluable lessons I've learned about the importance of balance between work and self-care, and how I emerged stronger from this period of uncertainty.
My biggest realization (or reminder) since we last talked was that life is like art, it's open to our interpretation. I'll share how this perspective helped me appreciate the highs and lows of my journey. And candidly talk about the challenges of starting new projects, grappling with imposter syndrome, and how I've made sense of it all.
I'm back and ready to embark on this new phase of our journey together.
Ever found yourself stuck in a mental rut filled with negativity and can't seem to shift gears? This episode is all about how to work through that, but not in the typical 'love and light' bullshit way.
Getting stuck in a negative spiral is part of being human. In today's conversation, we explore how to navigate these mental slumps, not by rushing through them, but rather embracing the experience. We discuss the importance of allowing your emotions to be felt and expressed, and how changing your perspective can lead you out of this mental maze. It's about being present, experiencing and expressing your emotions, and changing your focus - all without any shame or guilt.
Don't forget! Join the Instagram broadcast channel for behind-the-scenes goodies and the opportunity to add your input to the show.
What happens at the intersection of spirituality, sexuality, and unapologetic queerness? We're about to find out, as we chat with the one and only Kaelan Strouse, a.k.a Ecstatic Self.
As a tantra and spirituality coach, Kaelan shares the wisdom he has gathered on his personal journey, igniting a path for us to explore our own spirituality and sexuality without judgment or fear.
In this episode, Kaelan guides us to a deeper understanding of human connection, intimacy, and vulnerability. He advocates for the celebration of sexuality as a crucial part of our spiritual life, eroding the shame typically associated with it.
If you feel intimidated talking about sex in this way, or your past has left you jaded and hesitant to anything spiritual, I think you'll really appreciate Kaelan's approach.
We also discussed cultural appropriation in spirituality. Kaelan has some great tips on respecting other cultures while learning from them.
So, join us today for your own self-discovery, transformation, and unlearning as we queerize Tantra and Spirituality with Kaelan Strouse.
Have you ever been sitting in front of your birthday cake just about to blow out the candles when suddenly, on the other side of the window, your car explodes?
Yeah... me neither. But my boyfriend has! And today he's joining the podcast to share some funny stories from his life.
There's no big life lesson to learn today. Instead, I hope you have fun just hanging out with us and laughing along.
Have you been curious about how to bottom better or even at all? Do you have questions you're afraid to even ask? Are you nervous about what you might find out? Strap in (or strap on) for an honest discussion as Alex Hall aka The Bottom's Digest lays it all out there.
In this episode you'll learn nutrition techniques, booty hole exercises, and perhaps new information on douching to help make bottoming the most delicious, magical, pleasurable experience possible.
Alex debunks the myth of the 'bottom diet' and emphasizes the role of fiber supplements and plant diversity in maintaining a healthy gut. Then we really take you THERE as we candidly discuss what to do in a messy situation.
We emphasize the power of communication and provide strategies to address the associated shame and anxiety. We explore techniques to loosen up and highlight the importance of stretching the anal area for healthy sex. Finally, we wrap it up with a celebration of bottoming, with Alex explaining why it can be such an exciting and pleasurable experience.
Get ready to learn, laugh, and let go of your inhibitions in this unmissable episode!
Alex mentioned "box breathing" if you've never heard of it, here's a quick definition: It's called box breathing because like a box has 4 equal sides, there are 4 equal parts to box breathing. 3-4 seconds breathing in, four 3-4 seconds holding your breath, 3-4 seconds exhaling and 3-4 seconds holding after your exhale.
Ever felt the crushing weight of anxiety and longed for an effective tool to manage it? Well, there's no need to feel alone or overwhelmed anymore. Lay back and enjoy as this audio guides you to new and healing sensations.
This episode is designed to be your guide whenever anxiety strikes. The best part is, you can do this while sitting or laying comfortably. It's not just about "managing" anxiety, it's about connecting with it, accepting it. Through this practice you'll prove to yourself that you can confidently navigate discomfort.
You may find this episode calming, and it's a perfect listen if you can't fall asleep.
If you'd like a personalized one-on-one sessions to further help manage your stress, boost your confidence and improve your mental health, schedule a coaching call.
Have you been feeling like you just don't know how you can possibly handle all of life's stressors? Feeling like you just don't got this anymore? Tired of faking like you have it all figured out? That's what we're talking about on today's episode.
Join me as I share my own story of grappling with accepting help. We cover everything from anxiety episodes to understanding how dependency, codependency, independency play a part in your overwhelm. I reveal in my personal journey how acknowledging the need for support has been pivotal in my healing process.
The second part of our discussion revolves around the varied nuances of dependency, codependency, independence, and the less acknowledged, interdependence. We'll take a look together at the difference between "I've got this." and "We've got this." And delve into the significance of interdependence - a balanced and healthy way of relating to others. Interdependency is about balance - relying on others emotionally while not losing sight of your individuality.
Discover how acknowledging your need for support will actually empower you, not hinder you. And by the end of this episode I hope to change your mantra from "I've got this", to "We've got this".
Quincy Bazen: Comedy and His Journey to Authenticity
01:00:17
Welcome to a hilarious behind the scenes chat with Quincy Bazen, the multi-talented stand up comedian and co-host of the Dom Pop podcast. Take a peak into his world growing up a Navy brat, to co-creating a hit podcast, and making the daring move of relocating to sunny Los Angeles. There's never a dull moment as Quincy humorously shares his experiences, whether it's about his desire to pretentiously add accents to his name or his personal journey with ADHD.
This episode takes a deeper dive into Quincy's love for the performing arts and his knack for balancing multiple careers. You'll hear about his personal growth through his acting career, his passion for writing and directing, and his web series 'Rest in Pieces'. But that's not all, Quincy also opens up about his liberating journey of coming out, the struggles, and the joys of embracing his queer identity. Our conversation is sure to keep you gripped as we navigate the challenging terrain of authenticity, social expectations, and the journey to self-confidence.
We also delve into the realities of living a public life, dealing with people’s perceptions, and the relentless pursuit of self-acceptance. Quincy and I share our experiences, the highs and lows of performing in front of vast audiences, and the strains of managing an online presence. We also discuss how therapy, and plastic surgery played roles in boosting his confidence. Expect a heartening chat full of laughs, insights, and a whole lot of inspiration.
Christynne Wood: A Journey of Resilience and Trans Activism
00:43:29
Today we sit down with Christynne Wood, a national trans and civil rights activist, and 2023 San Diego Champion of Pride winner. Christynne shares her vivid memories of growing up in Springfield, Ohio, dealing with gender dysphoria and the impact a single understanding kindergarten teacher had on her life. Together, we explore the courage and resilience it takes to be true to oneself, amidst the challenges and adversity.
Imagine being in the Navy in 1974, and dealing with your own internal battle of gender identity. That's precisely what Christynne Wood experienced, and she opens up about this journey, from her enlistment to marriage. Her personal testament is a tapestry of dedication, resilience, and love that is sure to inspire many.
But that's not all. Christynne also pulls back the curtain on her world of activism, recounting her encounters with a conservative group called Santee Parents 4 Choice, and a protest outside the YMCA that tested her resolve. She passionately advocates for safe spaces, state law support, and the importance of not facing life's difficult transitions alone.
Join us as Christynne shares her wisdom and experiences, and discover how you can join her fight for transgender rights at the Trans March in Orlando, Florida on October 7, sponsored by lucha.org. It's an episode that promises to leave you inspired to get involved in your local politics, and more understanding of the struggles and triumphs of the transgender community.
*Correction: Around 42 mins Alex said bluechip.org was sponsoring the march in Florida. That was a mistake. Christynne is being sponsored by lucha.org.
Details about the Protect Tans Kids March on Oct 7 in Orlando Florida
Endorsers include: Women in Struggle - Mujeres en Lucha, Queer Youth Assemble, Teamsters National LGBTQ+ Caucus, Center for Constitutional Rights, PRISM South Florida, Orlando Come Out With Pride, Equality Florida, Pride at Work Eastern Mass., Tampa Bay Community Action Committee, NYC Reclaim Pride Coalition, New Orleans Real Name Campaign, Louisiana Women's Action Committee, Unión del Barrio, United American Indians of New England, MLK Coalition of Greater Los Angeles, Milwaukee (MKE) LGBT Community Center, Baltimore Peoples Power Assembly, Harriet Tubman Center of LA, Umbrella Brigade of Orlando, and many more.
Break Free From Self-Sabotage: Transforming Your Flaws Into Gifts
00:22:40
Are you trapped in the vicious cycle of self-sabotage? Imagine turning your perceived flaws into your greatest gifts. This episode is all about breaking free from that negative pattern, shedding the shame that's been holding you back, and learning to love and appreciate yourself, scars and all. In this episode you'll learn a unique four-step process to help you see your flaws as your super powers.
Do you find yourself avoiding confrontations or procrastinating? These behaviors, deeply rooted in our beliefs, can significantly impact our self-confidence and keep us stuck in self-sabotage. But, what if we told you that you could transform these behaviors into your secret superpowers and use your unique strengths to your advantage? This episode will help you identify these hidden strengths and gives you the tools to harness them. Whether you choose to work with me one-on-one or utilize these tools on your own, this journey will lead you to feeling a whole lot more confident. Get ready to embrace your individuality and turn your flaws into gifts.
If you're hiding from your sexual health (like I've done) Mistr is an excellent judgement free resource. You can get tested for HIV & STIs for FREE in all 50 states, D.C. and Puerto Rico. Everything is handled online and through your at home test kit. No doctor's office, no needles, no paperwork and free delivery. And you can even get PrEP totally free with or without insurance. Mistr is for all adults 18 and older. And Mistr can provide you with care no matter what your HIV status is.
Morgxn Thicke: Navigating Intimacy and Genderqueer Confidence
00:49:11
Get ready for a journey into the life of Morgxn Thicke, a queer, femnasty individual with Butch Queen tendencies who's making waves the gay porn industry. Morgxn's real, raw, and riveting insights about life behind the scenes and beyond the spotlight will transform your understanding of this industry. From their queer persona to the highs and lows of their private life, Morgxn's authenticity will leave you captivated.
Your gonna love Morgxn's insights on open communication in intimate relationships and its undeniable influence in the adult entertainment industry. Morgxn takes us through their adventures since breaking into the industry in 2019, revealing their experiences with initiating critical sex work conversations, and the tightrope walk between embracing new experiences and confidently upholding their own boundaries. We journey further into the world of sexual intimacy and gender confidence, exploring Morgxn's approach to creating chemistry and passion in their work.
Something I really appreciate about this conversation with Morgxn is how they underscore the significance of self-love, and pursuing what genuinely ignites joy. We round out our discussion by celebrating Morgxn's contribution to the industry and their impact in fostering a safe haven for sexual exploration. Prepare to have your perspective broadened and your understanding deepened in this enlightening episode.
Melissa Gonzalez: From Fear to Financial Empowerment
00:50:24
Have you ever wondered how your upbringing and identity shape your financial journey? My guest, financial planner Melissa Gonzalez, shares her inspiring story of shifting from viewing money as a negative force to understanding it as a tool for empowerment and opportunity. Raised in a predominantly female household, Melissa provides a unique perspective on the impact of family and identity on one’s financial journey.
Melissa openly discusses her experiences as a queer woman in the financial industry, highlighting the importance of leading with identity. She offers valuable insights on overcoming the fear surrounding finances and approaching goals with an abundance mindset. Her candid reflections on her own experiences of workplace challenges post coming out as lesbian, and her journey to financial confidence, will leave you feeling inspired and empowered.
In the latter part of our episode, we focus on the financial challenges unique to the queer community. Melissa shares her wisdom around topics such as estate planning, adoption, emergency funds and workplace harassment. She also offers practical advice for budgeting, financial planning, and finding a financial advisor who understands your unique needs. Plus she answers the big question: 'Do you need to invest in real estate in order to create financial freedom?' Trust me, you won’t want to miss Melissa’s empowering story and tips for planning a better financial future. Join us to overcome your financial fears and leave feeling confident.
This episode is all about cover coming the fears, embarrassment, and discomfort that hold you back from being authentic.
We all know what it's like to be judged or shamed simply for being your authentic self. I was just eight(ish) when my passion for the Princess Jasmine dress earned me shame rather than applause. This childhood encounter and similar episodes throughout my life taught me that authenticity often comes with a price. Today we're taking that embarrassed boy who loved a princess dress to an adult who finds joy in vibrant eyeshadow.
Fear of authenticity is a common thread uniting many of us. In this episode you'll learn to embrace the 'confident queer' in you through authenticity, acceptance, and self-love.
Flamy Grant: Faith, Drag, and Topping the Christian Music Charts
00:55:46
Flamy Grant is the first drag queen to ever top the iTunes Christian singles and albums charts! Flamy's story isn't just about music; it's about resilience and authenticity in the face of adversity and online trolling. It's about refusing to compromise on true identity despite societal pressures. If you grew up evangelical christian, you won't want to miss this episode.
It this episode Flamy takes us deeper into her personal life, exploring her battles with religious trauma from evangelicalism and her journey into the transformative world of drag. Hear how Flamy uses this platform to express herself and challenge gender stereotypes, even in spaces where acceptance is hard to find. And that's only the tip of the iceberg. She's got the best advice I've ever heard for dealing with haters and trolls online.
We dive into Flamy's creative process and the nostalgic elements in her music, the struggle of reconciling faith with sexuality and gender identity, and her role as a queer voice in the evangelical space. We end with a heart-touching discussion of her song 'Holy Ground,' a song that unveiled part of Flamy even before the creation of Flamy herself.
She also set a record for being the first guest to ever make my cry on my podcast. Grab a tissue box y'all!
Referenced in this episode: Here’s the video with the woman freaking out about candles at Bath & Body Works Flamy’s favorite song is 'Holy Ground' Flamy’s new single 'Fortune Teller' is OUT NOW everywhere you like to listen.
Taking a break. It sounds great! By why is it so filled with guilt?
By the end of this episode, you're going to reclaim your right to rest.
Feeling guilty about resting? Caught up in the grind of endless productivity? Our capitalist society has us believing that our worth equates to how much we're doing, but it's time we debunked this myth. This episode explores the importance of taking breaks without guilt and letting go of the pressure to make rest another form of self-improvement. Through a raw discussion of my personal struggles with overworking, we question the hustle culture and remind you that your value is not determined by productivity. So, take a breathe, relax, and remember rest is about simply being.
I'm looking forward to my own rest now as we close out the year. And I look forward to spending time with you in the new year!
Thank you for supporting the mission through your monthly contribution and by inviting your friends.
Remember, your value does not come from what you do or how much you do. Your value comes from who you are.
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Saw and I get naked and vulnerable with you. We share some of our insecurities, and how we've grown. I'm especially impressed by Saw's willingness to be vulnerable with us about his transition and body dysmorphia. On top of all that, he still strips all the way naked. (you really should check out the video for this one 🔥😏)
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Kai and I get naked and vulnerable with you. We share some of our insecurities, and how we've worked through our mental health journeys. Kai also shares some insight on his experience being an Asian American and trying to live up to impossible beauty standards. (you really should check out the video for this one 🔥😏)
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Adrian and I have known each other for a couple years. And there's always been an underlying sexual tension. So when he agreed to be on the show, I was so excited to finally get naked and vulnerable with him.
We share some of our insecurities, and how we've worked through our body image issues. And although we usually wait till the end to get handsy, we couldn't keep our hands... or our mouths off each other! You'll hear 😏🔥
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Darian and I met on Instagram a few months ago and hit it off right away. He's got such skills for the logistics of sex, and I love the mental and emotional side of sex. Together, we're a perfect complimentary pair. And I think you'll hear that in this episode.
We share some of our insecurities, and our real reactions to the discomfort of standing up for ourselves. Plus, we made a big mistake in the recording process and decided to leave it because it was too funny and real not to share! This one is so real, and you're gonna love it 😏🔥
Have you ever found yourself being fake vulnerable?
Where you share something that sounds vulnerable, but really you have a plan of action to handle it already.
If you’ve caught yourself doing this, that’s ok! It is just part of the process.
In today’s episode I help you see the difference between fake and real vulnerability and use it as a test for whether or not you are being fake or real in your confidence.
Mark is an Author, Model, Coach and Speaker who advocates for mental health and addiction recovery.
Today Mark shares about his mental health journey, losing all confidence in himself, addiction to drugs and alcohol, attempting suicide, and the triathlon that changed his life.
In this bonus episode, back by popular demand, my friend and past client, Corey Spade joins us!
Corey is back to give you an update since his first episode which has been the most popular guest episode I've ever done. (You can find that BONUS episode here).
In this bonus episode, you'll get to meet Mike Balaban, the accidental gay historian, and host of the BAMMER and Me podcast.
Mike share's his perspective as a gay man from the baby boomer generation. He's got some invaluable lessons we can all learn about the evolution of queer culture.
Have you ever tried to use mantras to change your thinking? How about positive quotes online? What about daily affirmation apps? If they aren't working for you, it's not your fault.
In today's episode, I'll give you the exact process to wrangle negative thinking and transform it into positive thinking.
Hint: No human is able to force positive thoughts when they're down in the dumps.
After this episode, you'll be able to move past negative thoughts. And it starts with not beating yourself up for having them.
Influencer to Mental Health Advocate w/ Diego Downtown
00:46:48
In this bonus episode, you'll get to meet Diego Gonzalez-Zuniga, the man behind Diego Downtown and host of Your Insecurity Is Showing on IGTV.
Diego gives us insight into how and why he's evolving from an influencer to a mental health advocate. He also shares his own insecurities with us today.
Last week we talked about getting rid of negative thoughts. This week I'm going to share with you the most difficult obstacle you'll encounter in the process: cognitive dissonance.
Cognitive dissonance is a mental clash. It's holding two opposing beliefs at the same time. And it is what's required in order to change your thinking.
In this bonus episode, my client Raphaela shares her story of how she had to face the question 'who am I without achievement?' A lot of her identity was wrapped up in success at work, school, and fitness.
Through one of the roughest patches of life, when her sudden health decline made her stop everything, Raphaela developed the confidence to be the trailblazer she's always known she is.
In this bonus episode, my client Keila J shares how she's mastered personal, professional and romantic connection.
Keila is a screen writer, actor, and professional match maker. All of those requires the ability to accept rejection. Today you get to hear how Keila has changed her perspective on rejection and how it's led her to more joy and ease in screen writing, acting, entrepreneurship and dating.
Today, I want to share with you my own journey. I'm sharing it with you because I want you to understand no matter how dark, how empty, or how hopeless you feel, there's opportunity for you.
I will warn you ahead of time, I do go into detail on my experience attempting suicide. So this one is a little heavier. But I promise as always, it ends with joy and encouragement.
Being Vulnerable and Owning Your Life w/ MaShawn Jones
00:48:55
In this bonus episode, my client MaShawn shares how he's found more confidence through vulnerability.
MaShawn works in the military and is also starting a personal image consulting business. Today you'll get to hear how MaShawn has moved away from people-pleasing, is more authentic in his relationships, and has begun the scary journey to entrepreneurship.
We also talk a little about intersectionality and body shaming in the gay community. This episode is packed with gold for you!
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