The Pleasure Podcast (Naomi Sheldon and Anand Patel)

In this episode of The Pleasure Podcast, we look at the changes that occur in our sexual relationships as we age. We are thrilled to speak with Woet Gianotten, world-renowned sexologist from the Netherlands. Woet worked his way through surgery, tropical medicine, gynaecology, contraception and now specialises in sex and relationships in older people and those with physical re-ablement needs, such as following cancer or paralysis.

Woet addresses coming out, not only about sexuality and gender, but the challenge and importance of coming out about your health issues, physical difficulties and sharing your sexual desires. We discuss how pleasure evolves over a lifetime, the importance of sex for our general health and the incredible sexual satisfaction we can find as we move away from the performative sexuality of youth.

Woet reveals his tips on maintaining our relationships as we grow older together and how time can enhance our sex lives. We discuss the impact ageing in the LGBTQIA+ community who can find themselves being forced back into the closet, and how positive change is happening. Movingly, he talks about patients in the terminal part of their lives and the importance of connection, touch and humour in creating powerful sexual legacies for those left behind.

If you or someone you know is affected by any of the issues discussed in this podcast, please have a look at The College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists website. They provide information and psychosexual support to people at all stages of their lives.

We would love to continue the conversation and hear from you: email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod.

Social Media:

Naomi Sheldon: @NaomiSheldon1

Anand Patel: @therealdranand

Follow us at: @ThePleasurePod and visit us at www.thepleasurepodcast.com

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Hello! Today we welcome award-winning actor and writer Charlotte Josephine onto The Pleasure Podcast.

 I’m delighted to introduce our listeners to Charlie, they are one of my personal heroes having given me the strength and permission to write when I was just setting out and they were already on the way to prolific playwrighting. They swept onto the theatre scene with solo show Bitch Boxer which won the Soho Theatre Writers award and is now being adapted for film. The host of plays which followed have received awards, huge praise and sell out houses. They recently played a queer Mercutio for the RSC’s Romeo and Juliet – a role which became significant for them both on and off stage.

Charlie started to identify as non-binary two years ago after having felt they’d failed at womanhood the whole of their lives. They join us to talk about shedding the label of she and the therapy and self-interrogation that got them there. We discuss the rules that come with being assigned female at birth and how writing has helped them to be comfortable in their own skin.

Charlie has been sober and in food recovery for years. They describe how sobriety has allowed them to enter a sexual revolution and what queer sex can teach us all about good sex. And it’s a lot. We look at the ripple effect that bad and good sex can have in the wider world and why representation of queer people is so important.

Thank you Charlie for your honest, present and playful words that will help so many other people in finding out who they are.

Flies is being made with @boundlessabound and Birds And Bees with @TCLive which can be found HERE

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We would love to continue the conversation and hear from you: email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod.

Please do rate, review, and share the podcast, it helps other people find us!

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Social Media:

Charlotte Josephone: @charlotte_j_b

Naomi Sheldon: @NaomiSheldon1

Anand Patel: @therealdranand

Follow us at @ThePleasurePod and visit us at www.thepleasurepodcast.com

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Today we welcome journalist, author and feminist trailblazer Marisa Bate. Marisa was one of the founding members of The Pool and writes extensively about domestic violence. Issues that affect women’s lives are at the forefront of her writing, whether that be in Grazia, The Guardian, The Independent, Cosmopolitan – the list goes on. Her journalism is prolific, smart, hard hitting and very, very moving.

 Anytime that families are together for long periods without normal routine, domestic abuse goes up…throw in alcohol, stress, it’s no wonder that during lockdown the phone lines for Refuge and Women’s Aid have been so busy.

We talk to Marisa about how domestic abuse is being spoken about more widely than ever before. The Archers Big Little Lies, and now Rhianna are discussing what used to be a very private, shameful occurrence.

We explore what economic abuse is, how reproductive coercion can go undetected and why a culture of fancying the bad boy can be so damaging. We hear the ways in which countries around the world are trying to support and protect victims of sexual abuse. From code words in grocery stores in France to alcohol bans in Greenland.

And Marisa advises us on what to do if you recognise abusive behaviour during lockdown and beyond. And why, if you hear anything worrying next door, you should always call the police.

CW: Domestic violence, abuse

Marisa’s brilliant book The Periodic Table of Feminism is an essential guide to the feminist movement and the often-unsung international figures who’ve shaped it. It was published by Penguin and is available from all good bookstores.

More of her work on domestic violence can be found in Vogue.co.uk. She has covered economic abuse for the Guardian, Woman's Hour, The i Paper and how abusers manipulate the Child Maintenance Service.

She recently wrote about lack of support for children who witnessed Domestic...

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Next week we’ll be returning to business as usual but for now it’s the finale of our mini-series on parenthood. This week we welcome doctor and sexual function specialist, Janine David to speak to us about sex and sexuality in pregnancy. Janine is a GP working in Wales who specialises in Men and Women’s sexual health. She developed an interest in sexual health in 2013 and, like Anand, is a Fellow of the European Committee of Sexual Medicine (FECSM). This is the highest qualification you can achieve in this field and she is the only active GP in Wales to hold this.

Janine has a diploma in Obstetrics and Gynaecology and is a member of the British, European and International Societies of Sexual Medicine (BSSM, ESSM & ISSM).

Janine is a regular speaker on the national and international stage and is actively involved in clinical research as well as being a mother and so we are thrilled to have her join us on The Pleasure Podcast to talk about sex and sexuality in pregnancy!

We discuss medical training and recognise the gaps that don’t aid us in supporting pregnant women, let alone talk about sex with them. Janine slays myths about sex in pregnancy and shares how important intimacy between couples is: we need to recognise how we remain sexual beings before, during and after pregnancy even if the actual delivery can shock men’s perspectives of their partner’s genitals!

We speak practically about the importance of masturbation, how to make sex more comfortable in the later stages and how sadly semen isn’t going to stimulate labour, but orgasms serve to keep you together.

It’s a frank and fun conversation about relishing the changes in pregnant bodies, maintaining intimacy and retaining your sexual identity.

Learn more about Janine’s clinics here.

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We would love to hear from you: email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod.

Please do rate, review, and share the podcast, it helps other people find us.

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Social Media:

Janine David: @DrJanineDavid

Naomi Sheldon: @NaomiSheldon1

Anand Patel: @therealdranand

Follow us at @ThePleasurePod and visit us at www.thepleasurepodcast.com

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In this episode of The Pleasure Podcast we welcome the talented multi-hyphenate Jason Domino: activist, porn performer, sex worker, and head of the sexual health think-tank: The Domino Foundation. 

Jason was raised as a committed Christian and tried to change his sexuality as a teen using aversion therapy and conversion camps. He shares with us how he started in sex work and porn and how a health scare following a porn shoot opened his eyes to the need for sex education, particularly around HIV prevention. This led to the creation of Porn4Prep, a groundbreaking film combining sex and HIV education featuring porn performers and health care professionals.

We talk about the rules for negotiating open relationships and how Jason separates sex with a client from sex with a partner. 

Jason discusses the problems with the current sex work laws and advocates the full decriminalisation as the method that would most reduce harm and stigma to sex workers. 

Jason’s activism in sex work and HIV prevention has taken him all the way to the United Nations in Geneva, speaking on Sexual Health & Human Rights.

All the safe (and not so safe for work!) videos are at https://porn4prep.com and you can read more about pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) for HIV which is already reducing HIV transmission.

Please check out the links below mentioned by Jason in the podcast to learn more about helping sex workers keep safe, the fight for the decriminalisation of sex work and the legal frameworks that are in place across the world. 

https://decrimnow.org.uk

SWARM: https://www.swarmcollective.org

National Ugly Mugs: https://uknswp.org/

If you’d like to support Jason’s work please take a look at https://thedominofoundation.co.uk.

CW: This episode has mention of rape and gay conversion therapy.

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We would love to hear from you and continue the conversation. Email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod.

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Social Media:

Jason Domino: @TheJasonDomino 

Naomi Sheldon: @NaomiSheldon1

Anand Patel: @therealdranand

Follow us at: @ThePleasurePod and visit us at acast.com/privacy

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In this week’s episode we speak to the trailblazing Monty Moncrieff MBE, Chief Executive of London Friend, a charity for the health and well-being of LGBTQ+ people. The London Friend headquarters acts as a safe space and is one of the longest established LGBTQ+ community centres. It also manages Antidote, a specialist drug and alcohol service, which was the first in the UK to observe the rise of chemsex amongst gay and bisexual men.

Having grown up in the north of England, Monty has been working and volunteering with LGBT organisations for over 20 years, starting as a helpline volunteer and subsequently a trustee with Switchboard LGBT in 1996. Monty was included in the Independent on Sunday’s Rainbow List of the top 100 most influential LGBT people in Britain between 2013 – 2015 and was awarded an MBE in 2018 for his services.

Monty discusses the appearance and rise of the chemsex phenomenon and the impact this has had on a subsection of the gay community. It’s a warm, broad-ranging discussion covering intimacy and emotional connection, loneliness and belonging, mental health and drugs, sex and consent.

Monty shares his experiences growing up gay, his coming out story, #NoOutsiders and the importance of good and early relationship education. We talk apps like Grindr and Scruff and the impact that harnessing technology has had on how men who have sex with men meet each other. Pick your gay tribe! Naomi learns A LOT.

Content Warning: This conversation does go to some dark places and there is mention of sexual abuse and rape.

If these issues have affected you or anyone you know or you’re interested in learning more about the work that Monty does please go to London Friend

The Pleasure Podcast is hosted by Naomi Sheldon and Anand Patel, and is edited by Matt Peover.

Social Media

Monty Moncrieff @MontyMoncrieff

Anand Patel @therealdranand

Naomi Sheldon @NaomiSheldon1

Follow us on @ThePleasurePod

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It’s the season finale! What a journey we’ve been on. Thank you to all our glorious guests and thank you especially to you, our listeners. We’re at 10k listens! We're building an amazing community and we couldn’t have done it without you. We’ll be back in September with a glittering series two. First up is Sara Pascoe on Sex, Power, Money. Make sure to subscribe and keep alert for a bonus episode we’ll be dropping later this week.

Without further ado, here is the final episode of the series! It’s a banger.

We welcome, journalist, author, panelist, speaker, activist, Lynn Enright. She’s written for almost every publication you can think of spanning from Vogue to The Financial Times and everything in between. She has this particular skill of blending the personal with the political, making her subject relatable and the message powerful.

We interview Lynn on her book, Vagina: a re-education; part memoir, part practical guide- she breaks down the myths women have been told about their bodies for generations. A book which has rightly earned its place in the feminist canon.

We talk about the rise of labiaplasty, the clitoris, and if you’d ever want your labia tickled. Lynn speaks brilliantly on the lack of education about getting pregnant and explores the ‘we’ve left it too late’ fallacy/reality when it comes to fertility. Anand’s GP knowledge comes into its own as he educates us on male infertility and what to look out for when using lube. We look at the gap in female sexual health making way for companies like Goop to come to the rescue. Ever wondered if a jade egg is a good investment? Anand tells us exactly why it’s a risky business. Naomi does a rendition of *that* Fleabag speech on pain (move over Kristin Scott Thomas) and we discuss how the medical profession need to take women's pain seriously. It’s a funny, open, educational episode that’s wide ranging and warm-hearted. What a delicious finisher to season1!

Get your copy of Vagina: a Re-education, published by Allen and Unwin, from all good bookstores.

We would love to continue the conversation and hear from you: email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod.

Social Media:

Naomi Sheldon: @NaomiSheldon1

Anand Patel: @therealdranand

Lynn Enright: @lynnenright

Follow us at: @ThePleasurePod and visit us at www.thepleasurepodcast.com

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This week of The Pleasure Podcast we welcome the award-winning comedian, actor and writer Richard Gadd. In 2016 he won the esteemed Edinburgh comedy award, with Monkey See Monkey Do, a raw, personal account about his sexual assault. It was a performance which pushed the boundaries of comedy and which felt monumentally cathartic for its win.

In 2019 his first solo theatre show Baby Reindeer was the talk of Edinburgh. In it he relives his experience of being stalked by a woman with a dangerous obsession with him, about wrestling with his sexuality, and trying to come to terms with his assault.

We speak about the effects of growing up in an uber masculine world where you thank God you’re not gay, and sex ed was devoid of condoms. He speaks about the sexual abuse and grooming which threw his relationship with sex out of orbit. And of the erectile dysfunction that followed which destroyed relationships and his confidence.

The dissociation that followed felt at odds with his happy teenage years and the cost was his loss of the ability to be vulnerable and intimate throughout this period of deep pain.

Richard tells us how he has been able to approach sex and intimacy again. And how his deeply personal shows have been part of that healing process.

He describes what drives a person to make a show about their trauma and what the effect is when you thought it might ruin you but in fact launched you into a whole new dazzling chapter of your career.

The emotional and psychological honesty of Richard’s work is astonishing. How he tackles the source of his trauma and his evolving understanding of his own masculinity is truly breath taking.

CW: There are some subjects which we cover that listeners might find disturbing: Sexual Abuse, Stalking.

Follow Richard on social media @MrRichardGadd for more information on his shows and upcoming dates.

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We would love to continue the conversation and hear from you: email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod.

Please do rate, review, and share the podcast, we hear it helps other people find us!

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Social Media:

Naomi Sheldon: @NaomiSheldon1

Anand Patel: @therealdranand

Richard Gadd: @MrRichardGadd

Follow us at @ThePleasurePod and visit us at www.thepleasurepodcast.com

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We're back! Welcome to the second series of the Pleasure Podcast. We are thrilled to be kicking off our first episode with multi-award winning comedian, author, actor, documentary maker and fellow podcaster Sara Pascoe. This year her comedy show Lads Lads Lads, had a primetime BBC2 special, and her new BBC2 sitcom has just been announced. It’s on family dynamics, sex and the reason humans behave the way they do, a theme Sara has become master of. Sara’s work is characterised by the studious findings of a ferocious intelligence delivered with warmth and wit, and her latest offering to our bookshelves is no exception. Her first book Animal a partial autobiography mixing feminism, memoir and evolutionary biology. Sex, Power, Money her second non-fiction, is an utterly insightful, funny and sensitive exploration of the way human behaviour and modern masculinity is underpinned by wealth and economics.

We visited Sara and her dog Mouse in her lovely home in London to speak about her new book, which is why you might hear some puppy water slurping and paw pattering. 

We talk about Hebephilia, the true meaning of ravishing, the evolutionary perspective on sexual desire, why we socially respect a large penis but don’t choose to have sex with them, the psychology of catcalling and why we lay everything at porn’s door to avoid having educational conversations about sex. We also manage to squeeze in a little about how in researching for her book Sara's perspective on porn and sex work began to evolve. She’s one of the brightest, funniest women I’ve ever had the pleasure to meet. We hope you enjoy being welcomed into the brilliant mind of Sara Pascoe as much as we did.

Sex Power Money is available to buy from all good bookstores and her companion podcast of the same name (a brilliant series of interviews with people we rarely get to hear from) is available from wherever you get your podcasts.

You can buy Sex, Power, Money here and Animal here.

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CW: This episode has mentions of rape, sexual violence and suicide.

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We would love to hear from you and continue the conversation. Email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod.

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Social Media:

Naomi Sheldon: @NaomiSheldon1

Anand Patel: @therealdranand

Sara Pascoe: @sarapascoe

Follow us at: @ThePleasurePod and visit us at

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We bring you a Pride special this week of The Pleasure Podcast with the incredible Tom Glitter/Crystal Rasmussen. This non-binary quintuple threat is a Drag Queen, writer, presenter, singer and most importantly, professional Celine Dion Stan.

Crystal tells us about their new book Diary Of a Drag Queen, a searingly honest memoir detailing their journey from New York, to London, via Lancaster, and the journey to coming out as non-binary, all whilst being an absolute drag legend. Crystal moved us to tears, made us laugh and even squeezed in tips on the best sex clubs in London. We loved discussing how it's possible to stretch the boundaries of what pleasure is and from where we can receive it. Crystal shares with us their queer experience of a world dependent on boundaries and rules, and the challenges of non-conformity when it comes to sexuality and gender. We're given an insight into the hazards of visibility, from stares to physical violence, which has had a profound effect on how they feel they can exist in public.

It’s a very explicit discussion. Movingly we talk the power of logical and biological families, delve into dark rooms and the rules of negotiating open relationships. Most of all it’s a story about realising who you are and recognising your self-worth

Content Warning: Homophobic abuse and violent hate crime

If you or any of your friends or family are affected by issues raised by this podcast, Switchboard can signpost you to local resources and groups.

Get your copy of Crystal’s Diary of a Drag Queen published by Ebury Press from all good bookstores.

Catch the first episode of Comedy Central’s Dragony Aunts on YouTube

You can catch Crystal at the Edinburgh Festival where she presents The Bible 2 (Plus a Cure for Shame, Violence, Betrayal and Athlete's Foot) Live! Tickets here

As always, we would love to continue the conversation and hear from you: email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod.

Social Media:

Naomi Sheldon: @NaomiSheldon1

Anand Patel: @therealdranand

Follow us at: @ThePleasurePod and visit us at www.thepleasurepodcast.com

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It’s the finale of season four! Thank you to all our guests and pleasure podders for making this a brilliant season, we’ve reached more people than ever before. We love our growing community and thrilled to know you’re as passionate as us when it comes to talking about pleasure. I’m taking a break to have my babies, but we’ll be back in January with a brand-new season. Don’t worry, there’s a juicy archive of episodes to explore so please dig in. But now for our finale guest, and this really is a special one…

It’s international changemaker, Black Pride co-founder, MBE rejecting, aptly named Lady Phyll! Phyll Opoku-Gyimah co-founded UK Black Pride. She’s the exec director of Kaleidoscope Trust, an organisation working towards the liberation of LGBTQ people around the world; an Albert Kennedy Trust patron, and a public speaker focusing on race, gender, sexuality and class. She successfully campaigns for the better treatment of people of colour in the LGBTQ+ community and this year was voted number 4 on the Pride Power List.

This is a gloriously personal conversation where we discuss the genesis of Black Pride and Phyll’s search for intimacy after her marriage ended and she was able to finally fully explore her sexuality with women.

She shares the emotional connection found in her first sexual experience with a woman which allowed her to be ‘seen’ in the most profound way, as well as her thoughts on polyamory and having sex that allows for vulnerability rather than performance, not ignoring of course, the simple joy of fucking!

We talk about the paths trodden by Black lesbian women who have come before her and why UK Black Pride has come together as an ongoing movement rather than a moment providing an inclusive safe space to connect with your chosen family. And the importance of recognising the broad range of identities that we have - the intersections of race, gender, sexuality that are all important to recognise to manage true allyship.

In a zoom miracle, in under an hour, the three of us fell in love - we hope you do too.

Lady Phyll is the is the co-editor of Sista!, an anthology of writings by same sex living women of African/Caribbean descent with a connection to the United Kingdom, released by Team Angelica Publishing in 2018, which includes work by 31 writers and available on Amazon and all good bookshops.

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We would love to hear from you: email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod.

Please do rate, review, and share the podcast, it helps other people find us.

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Social Media:

Lady Phyll: @MsLadyPhyll

Naomi Sheldon: @NaomiSheldon1

Anand Patel: @therealdranand

Follow us at @ThePleasurePod and visit us at www.thepleasurepodcast.com

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Welcome to episode 2 of The Pleasure Podcast. This week we speak to multi-award winning, plus size style blogger, journalist, and author Stephanie Yeboah. This year she was the cover girl on Glamour’s self-love issue. And on Instagram she is making waves celebrating the bodies of plus size, black women. Her sexy, witty, and insightful posts redefine accepted beauty standards and challenge the co-option of body positivity by socially acceptable white bodies.

Stephanie has experienced racism and fat-phobia from a young age, from being bullied at school to being fetishized and objectified in her romantic life. The way she flies in the face of these discriminations by creating a positive space for change is awe inspiring. Her Instagram page is testament to this. Check out her beautiful pictures HERE

Stephanie speaks to us about navigating life and dating as a black, plus-sized woman and how she and others can manage to find self-acceptance when judgement and discrimination are still so rife.

Stephanie’s book Fattily Ever After: The Black Girl’s Guide To Living Unapologetically will be published by Hardie Grant Books on the 3rd of September. It’s a love letter to plus size black women. You can pre-order a copy on her website stephanieyeboah.com.

CW: There are some subjects which we cover that listeners might find disturbing: Racism, Sexual Abuse, Violence.

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We would love to continue the conversation and hear from you: email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod.

Please do rate, review, and share the podcast, we hear it helps other people find us!

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Social Media:

Naomi Sheldon: @NaomiSheldon1

Anand Patel: @therealdranand

Stephanie Yeboah: @StephanieYeboah

Follow us at @ThePleasurePod and visit us at www.thepleasurepodcast.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today we welcome Alex Cowan, a leading disability activist, performer and writer challenging the sexual erasure of differently abled people around the world. Alex has been a real pioneer, In 2014 she appeared in Alternative Miss World - their first contestant in a wheelchair, and appeared on Channel 4 discussing her relationship with her husband. She was the first disabled person to attend the world-renowned European Society of Sexual Medicine Summer school and has worked with Alistair Morrison, photographer to Hollywood royalty, reinterpreting the iconic Christine Keeler photos replacing the Arne Jacobsen chair with her wheelchair. 

Alex developed Multiple Sclerosis in her late teens and documents her journey (with the man that eventually became her boyfriend and now husband) as the effects of illness changed and challenged her body, her self-view and her relationships. Alex describes what that has meant for her ability to physically navigate sex when disability meets ageing. We talk about the frustration of friends presuming she’s celibate as if disability changed who she was as a person and shares how a really low point triggered the need to shock herself out of her despair - and so she jumped out of a plane! 

We discuss the importance of sex workers in helping provide intimacy and physical contact when the dating scene can be significantly more challenging to negotiate, let alone finding suitable accessible spaces for disabled people to meet.

Read her writing for Good Housekeeping and see more of those Alistair Morrison photographs here: https://100stories.leonardcheshire.org/changing-perceptions/

Thank you to Alex for this inspiring conversation that reminds us again to see the person rather than the disability and providing practical tips on how to keep a sexual relationship going with a differently abled body.

Just a little note that Naomi had to pop out for the last part of the interview, in case you’re wondering why she goes quiet later on!

Alex kindly supplied the following list of super-helpful books and links (on GoogleDrive for convenience!):

https://tinyurl.com/yaye8xq5

We would love to continue the conversation and hear from you: email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod.

Please do rate, review, and share the podcast, it helps other people find us!

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Social Media:

Naomi Sheldon: @NaomiSheldon1

Anand Patel: @therealdranand

Follow us at @ThePleasurePod and visit us at www.thepleasurepodcast.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Trailer to launch The Pleasure Podcast with writer and actor Naomi Sheldon and sexual function doctor Anand Patel.

In this new series Anand and Naomi will be talking to special guests on the relationship we have to our bodies when it comes to sex, sensuality and intimacy. As adults we’re supposed to know it all, but how much do we really? The Pleasure Podcast is a response to the UK’s ad hoc approach to sex education and society’s reticence to discuss the intimate.  

Guests vary from sexologists and therapists to novelists and DJs, who speak with openness, wit and expertise on sex and pleasure and challenging preconceived ideas. They hold conversations that are inquisitive and non-judgemental, casting a broad net, not limited by sexuality, gender, culture or belief. They don’t pretend to know it all and they really want to learn from others. A deeper understanding of our relationship with our bodies can help us find more joy in our daily lives.

Anand brings the perspective of a practising GP and sexual function specialist, of a man seeking insight into women’s stories, and with the experience of growing up gay in a religious family in the 1980s under the shadow of AIDS. Through his practice he sees how genuine conversations around sex and intimacy about adult wants and concerns are rarely brought into the open. Naomi has acted at the RSC and in the West End, and is developing various TV projects including adapting Good Girl for C4. Her writing deals with themes of intimacy and emotion. Growing up in the hyper-sexualised 90s left her with a complicated relationship to sex, self-worth and sexuality. She wants to deconstruct those early lessons and learn afresh what it is to experience pleasure.

If you like the sound of our trailer, you’ll love the frank conversations about sex and pleasure. Be part of the conversation by emailing us (hello@thepleasurepodcast.com) or tweet us @ThePleasurePod.

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Today on the Pleasure Podcast we welcome Sangeeta Pillai, founder of feminist online platform Soul Sutras and fighter of Indian Patriarchy! Sangeeta developed SoulSutras to be a safe space for South Asian womxn to tell their stories openly without shame or fear, connecting with one another, sharing a common cultural identity.

Soul Sutras has developed into a feminist platform hosting the award-winning taboo-shaking Masala Podcast to developing Masala Monologues, a series of writing workshops and theatre shows in the UK and US.

Sangeeta talks to us about her childhood, growing up in the slums of Mumbai and expected to follow the narrow familiar trajectory planned and expected for South Asian women of obedient daughter, wife, and mother. Sangeeta pushed against traditional expectations from a very young age, being the first woman in her family to work and decline marriage, but not without significant personal cost.

We discuss the cultural drive for purity and the responsibility of women to guard that safely between her legs. Sangeeta received the message from her family that physical pleasure is not for her, that sex will be the ruin of the archetypal good Indian woman. The strongly conditioned links between nudity and sex and shame at an early age limited access of even simple intimacy.

Having a breakdown led to Sangeeta's sexual awakening and eventually her drive to create a safe space for women to speak to each other and open up. A blog became a writing workshop which developed into a theatre space and an award-winning podcast.

We talk about reclaiming the sexual heritage of India such as the Kama Sutra for a great seductive sexual experience, and look at India as a liberal secular place of openness and possibility. We discuss the deification of boys that is endemic in Indian culture and how growing up feeling like you are somehow better is harmful for both men and women. We discuss how her more traditional extended family have responded to her work by silence, how to move forward when you are not seen as a success by your family, and how the price she has paid for the path she has chosen is loneliness.

Sangeeta keeps pushing the boundaries, recognising the importance of keeping challenging the silence and taboos in Asian culture to allow us all to normalise sex and intimacy and affection.

Learn more about Soul Sutras here and catch Sangeeta’s wonderful Masala Podcast on Spotify, iTunes or wherever you find your podcasts!

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We would love to hear from you: email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod.

Please do rate, review, and share the podcast, it helps other people find us.

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Social Media:

Sangeeta Pillai: @Soul_Sutras

Naomi Sheldon: @NaomiSheldon1

Anand Patel: @therealdranand

Follow us at @ThePleasurePod and visit us at www.thepleasurepodcast.com

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This week on The Pleasure Podcast we welcome German portrait photographer, music video and lesbian feminist porn director Julia Schönstädt. Julia is passionate about platforming unheard voices, working with prisoners, refugees as well as sex workers, helping the world to see them beyond their labels. Her 16 Bars Project, a prisoner's portrait series that aimed to raise awareness for the penal system, led to a Guardian award.

Her work as a guest director for Erika Lust, the pioneer in feminist porn, was her first foray into the adult film world. Fed up with the mainstream representation of girl on girl porn, Julia’s work centers on authentic content for the LGBTQ community. She sent us a couple of her films and they are breath taking, fusing a music video aesthetic with erotica to create a delight for the senses, far removed from mainstream porn.

You can access the films we discuss All Eyez on Me and Pleasure Seekers . Warning...they are very sexy.

We discuss the problems of mainstream porn and how ethical porn is fighting to counteract them, from consent and sexual health, to making sure that women are behind the camera as well as in front.

Julia shares her experience as a porn director on and off set; how language is key when making sex scenes believable and why revealing that she works in the sex industry was more scary than coming out.

We look at the importance of speaking openly about porn, why we should be paying for it, and how porn has a role and a duty of care to teach about consent, diversity and sexuality to a whole generation of kids who rely on porn for their sex education.

Julia has a production company @sugartowngirls and you can access Julia's films we discuss here:

ALL EYEZ ON ME

PLEASURE SEEKERS

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You can find out more about Julia's other work on her website: www.schonstadt.com

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We would love to hear from you: email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod.

Please do rate, review, and share the podcast, it helps other people find us.

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Social Media:

Julia Schönstädt: @j.schoenstaedt

Naomi Sheldon: @NaomiSheldon1

Anand Patel: @therealdranand

Follow us at @ThePleasurePod and visit us at www.thepleasurepodcast.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week on the Pleasure Podcast we welcome an expert in all things historically sexual. It’s the incredible award-winning historian, lecturer, and author Dr Kate Lister. However you might know her best as the mind behind Twitter’s very own behemoth Whores of Yore.

Kate is a lecturer and researcher in the literary history of sex work at Leeds Trinity University and she regularly writes for inews, Vice, and the Wellcome Trust. Kate has also graced our screens, most notably giving historical context to our sexual desires in Channel 5s My Secret Sex Fantasy (which is where we first met!).

The research behind Whores of Yore, a wildly popular historical archive of sexuality and sex work, has culminated in Kate’s book, ‘A Curious History of Sex’. This whistle stop tour through sexual history covers immense ground including the etymology of cunt, the control of women’s desire, the history of same sex relationships, pubic hair, monkey testicle transplants, sex robots and incredibly much much more. 

Kate’s book is available for pre-order from Unbound, Waterstones and Amazon and will be published in February 2020. Pre-order sales support Basis Sex Work Project in Leeds.

We speak to Kate about this erudite, funny and at times very shocking book – it’s a broad and genre defying conversation running the gamut from Ancient Greece to The Rock via Noel Edmonds House Party. It’s the naughty history lesson we didn’t receive in school, but wish we had.

We would love to continue the conversation and hear from you, our listeners: email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod.

Social Media:

Kate Lister: @WhoresOfYore and @literaturepeep

Naomi Sheldon @NaomiSheldon1

Anand Patel @therealdranand

Follow us at @ThePleasurePod and visit us at www.thepleasurepodcast.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week on The Pleasure Podcast we welcome radio producer, presenter, and writer Amrit Matharu. She's currently working for the Asian Network, and has contributed to Radio London, Radio Northampton, and BBC Stories to name but a few. Amrit published her dissertation "Desi and Desire" focusing on British-Asian female identity and has become well known for discussing taboo topics such as sexuality, a subject rarely talked about amongst the South Asian community.

She’s passionate about promoting body confidence and works as both a body positive activist and plus size model.

We talk to Amrit about her Sikh background, Asian family dynamics, and how her parent’s values have impacted on her own relationship to romance and sex. She brings a fascinating insight into how a typical Asian upbringing which focuses on virginity, can leave you without the skills to manage dating and relationships, whilst the family pressure to get married ramps up. Asian Tinder and temple matrimonial lists provide one solution to prospective couples, but the beauty standards in this game of top trumps based on height, hair texture, weight and skin colour can create a narrow dating field.

Amrit is a firm believer in being part of the ‘generation of change’ where although she recognises and understands her parents’ beliefs and the affect it has had on her, she would not impose those views on her children. It’s an interview full of the cognitive dissonance that surrounds tradition and modern living that gets to the core of our need for tribes and belonging.

You can follow Amrit’s life and thoughts on her blog Amaretto’s World and find links to her dissertation Desi and Desire here.

We would love to continue the conversation and hear from you, our listeners: email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod.

Social Media:

Amrit Matharu @AmarettosWorld

Naomi Sheldon @NaomiSheldon1

Anand Patel @therealdranand

Follow us at @ThePleasurePod and visit us at www.thepleasurepodcast.com

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Our guest is Sunday Times Bestselling author, award-winning podcaster, novelist, blogger and speaker Emma Gannon. Her debut novel Olive follows the lives of women whose friendship shifts as babies enter the frame. Emma adds a refreshing voice to the dialogue around motherhood, through a story whose main character has actively chosen to live a child-free life without regrets.

 When Emma asked if there was anyone out there who is child free by choice, she was inundated with responses from women who felt like they weren’t seen, from those saying they regret having children to simply not wanting them right now. In this episode we discuss the mother of all questions – why the child-free choice is often a taboo one.

We look at the pressure that from parents to provide grandchildren, the strain that not having a baby can put on friendships and how we might reconnect with these friends down the line. We discuss body processes, perfection, biological clocks and why being a freelancer is particularly hard for soon to be parents searching for role models. It’s a wide-ranging discussion with that digs deep into the choice to be child-free and how no choice is better or worse. It’s just right for us. Emma is a brilliantly straight talking guest who you want to discuss all elements of life with when you're looking for a thoughtful and beautifully balanced perspective.

Emma’s debut novel Olive is published by HarperCollins and is available from the 23rd July, available from all good bookstores. Her new book Sabotage, a handbook on how to slay your own sabotage is out on September 24th. Check out her podcast Ctrl Alt Delete and her debut non-fiction The Multi-Hyphen-Method.

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We would love to hear from you: email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod.

Please do rate, review, and share the podcast, it helps other people find us!

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Social Media:

Emma Gannon: @emmagannon

Naomi Sheldon: @NaomiSheldon1

Anand Patel: @therealdranand

Follow us at @ThePleasurePod and visit us at www.thepleasurepodcast.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It’s the season finale! Our guest sends us off with hope and solidarity. We welcome femme non-binary trans writer and performer Teddy* Lamb. I first spotted Teddy roaming around Soho with pink hair, frills, and a prominent, sexy moustache. The combination felt somehow audacious and I’ve been longing to speak to them about gender and identity ever since. 

Teddy was using they/them pronouns long before being non-binary was even part of their vocabulary. They describe theirs as a gender rather than a sexuality story. But their pansexuality and description of the joy of T for T sex leaves us marvelling at how much there is to learn from the trans community when it comes to consent and empathy in sex.

This interview was recorded the day after Liz Truss, the Minister for women and equalities, announced her plans to prioritise single-sex spaces, protect children from irreversible decisions about gender and potentially rename the ministry, the ministry of freedom.

Teddy explains why this these speeches are so damaging and how in the UK, while the most likely to be vulnerable, trans people have little support. With no legal recognition for being non-binary, a 2-3 year wait for surgery, speech therapy, and counselling trans people are dying as they wait.

Teddy describes the physical response to being misgendered, of finding gender euphoria, and why they are only sleeping with trans people for now. We look at the radical power of trans body hair, and how much there is to learn from the young members of the LGBTQ+ community.

Their show Since You’ve Been Gone, a glorious autobiographical account of growing up queer in the 90s and of finding yourself whilst dealing with loss, was an Edinburgh hit. Pleasure Podcast listeners can watch the show until the 24th May using the password PleasureTeddy here: https://vimeo.com/419525480

*Of note, since recording this episode, they have changed their name to Tabby Lamb.

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If you have been affected by any of the issues discussed please take a look at the following:

Petition against Liz Truss’s words: http://chng.it/nYdKs6qZ7q

Gendered intelligence: http://genderedintelligence.co.uk/

Find out more about Teddy at teddylamb.com

CW: assault and transphobia.

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We would love to hear from you: email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod.

Please do rate, review, and share the podcast, it helps other people find us!

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Social Media:

Teddy Lamb: @TheTabbyLamb

Naomi Sheldon: @NaomiSheldon1

Anand Patel: @therealdranand

Follow us at @ThePleasurePod and visit us at 

This week we welcome Jen Brister to The Pleasure Podcast. She’s a critically acclaimed stand up comedian, actor and author of the frank and funny book The Other Mother. She’s regularly been on our radios, toured six solo shows around the world and graced our screens on Live at the Apollo, Live at the comedy store and Frankie Boyle’s New World Order. Later this year she’ll star in the Sara Pascoe series ‘Comedy Lectures’ and ‘Hypothetical’, and she’ll be touring her hilarious show Under Privilege around the UK in 2020. I saw it at the Edinburgh Fringe this year and she blew my woollen socks off.

We speak to Jen about her first book ‘The Other Mother’, an honest, funny memoir in which she describes her experience of being a gay non-biological ‘other mother’ to her twin boys. Jen speaks to us about what happens when the reality of your sexuality comes face to face with your childhood dreams of parenthood, about gay visibility within the entertainment industry, kissing in public, the financial and emotional cost of IVF and the division of labour when raising two babies in a same sex relationship.

Jen is one of my favourite comedians and she makes us laugh a lot whilst tackling issues that are pertinent to everyone, no matter what sort of family you have.          

You can get your copy of The Other Mother published by Square Peg now at all good book stores. Her latest show Under Privilege will be touring the UK in 2020. It explores the meaning of privilege and what it’s like as a lesbian to raise two young boys whilst putting two fingers up at the patriarchy. Dates and tickets are available through her website jenbrister.co.uk.

Could can buy Jen’s book The Other Mother HERE, and find the dates for the UK tour of Under Privilege HERE.

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As usual, we would love to hear from you and continue the conversation. Email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod.

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Social Media:

Naomi Sheldon: @NaomiSheldon1

Anand Patel: @therealdranand

Jen Brister: @JenBrister

Follow us at: @ThePleasurePod and visit us at www.thepleasurepodcast.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this week’s episode of the Pleasure Podcast we talk to writer and illustrator Flo Perry. Flo’s work on Buzzfeed is always a viral sensation, and she has just published the wonderful How To Have Feminist Sex – A Fairly Graphic Guide. Flo is on a mission to improve our sex lives. Her graphic novel is a manual on how to have the sex you want whilst navigating the niggles and neuroses we've built up over a lifetime when it comes to getting down and dirty. This joyful and sexy book is filled with Flo’s gorgeously drawn humans that don’t just decorate the pages, they populate her world.

Flo’s illustrations grace a variety of books including The Girl's Guide To Growing Up Great, written by Sophie Elkan and Remember This When You're Sad by Maggy Van Eijk. Flo is also one of the founders of Aphrodyki, an incredible (and always sold out) queer club night! Find her on the door…

Flo proudly reclaims the word slut and we talk dating apps, sending nudes and ghosting. We learn her top tips for one night stands and how to end a date without causing offence, even if it’s five minutes after you’ve sat down. We even answer the big questions - how to learn what turns you on and the unexpected side effects of chlamydia meds. We discuss body image, the bisexual experience and the gap in the market for a modern day Samantha Jones. Where are our slutty heroines?

You can buy Flo’s How To Have Feminist Sex – A Fairly Graphic Guide, published by Particular Books from Waterstones, Amazon and all good bookstores

Flo’s lovely photograph is by Hannah Eachus. 

We would love to continue the conversation and hear from you, our listeners: email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod.

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Social Media:

Flo Perry: @FloPerry

Naomi Sheldon: @NaomiSheldon1

Anand Patel: @therealdranand

Follow us at @ThePleasurePod and visit us at www.thepleasurepodcast.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week are delighted to welcome award-winning DJ, author and podcaster Gemma Cairney on The Pleasure Podcast.

Her star-spangled music career has spanned 10 years. In her BBC R4 series The Sound Odyssey she travelled the world with British musicians to collaborate with local musicians of the areas they visited. She presents the BBC 6 Leisure Society interviewing cultural icons about their loves beyond what they're known for. Her Grace Jones interview for Amazing Grace won the Best Music Show Rose d'Or. Her book Open: A toolkit for how magic and messed up life can be was reviewed by The Guardian as "full of reassurance for teenagers that they are not alone, whatever they may feel". It's, in short, bloody marvellous. This year she'll be presenting at Glastonbury.

An alternative format for this week! We take you through 8 tracks that Gemma has chosen as part of her special one-off Pleasure Playlist. She takes us through each track discussing the part it played in her life and how it has brought her pleasure. As we are not the BBC (we wish we were Desert Island Disks for this one) we've provided the playlist for you to listen to either alongside of after the podcast.

We were so happy to have Gemma with us as she shared her insights into what music and movement can do as part of living a full and pleasurable life. We spoke about the physical and emotional release of music, how it can be a cohesive social force, a short cut to memory and about why women of colour can be often underestimated and labelled as "too much". We also look at how music can help us find our tribe, our identity and make us feel sexual and desirable.

It's a light-hearted, joyful conversation on the simple pleasure of music. After 40 minutes in her company you may find yourself wanting to dance wildly to her favourite Garage tunes. I know we did.

Gemma's Pleasure Playlist

Spotify

iTunes

1. Just The Way You Are - Barry White
2. Nothing Even Matters - Lauryn Hill
3. Plenty - Guru feat Erykah Badu
4. I Love It - Icona Pop
5. Tutti Frutti - Little Richard
6. Too Many Man - Boy Better Know
7. Oops - Tweet feat Missy Elliot
8. Closer Than Close - Rosie Gaines

Gemma's bonus Sunshine Garage playlist in Spotify

Do get in touch with what would be in your pleasure playlist @thepleasurepod

Gemma's book Open is available to order HERE

Listen to her interview with Grace Jones on The Leisure Society HERE

Gemma's beret collaboration with Mary X are available to buy HERE

Social Media

Naomi Sheldon @NaomiSheldon1

Anand Patel @therealdranand

Gemma Cairney @gemcairn

Follow us on @thepleasurepod

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This week on The Pleasure Podcast we welcome a woman who has heard it all. It’s Multi award-winning writer, broadcaster and sex educator Alix Fox. Alix co-hosts BBC Radio 1 show Unexpected Fluids, in which comedic ‘real life tales of sexual fails’ are used as a springboard for frank, constructive conversations. Over on Netflix, she’s a script consultant for hit series Sex Education, whilst on The Modern Mann podcast with Olly Mann, she’s fronted her own X-rated agony aunt segment for almost half a decade, answering listeners’ most intimate queries in ‘The Foxhole’. A proud ambassador for both Brook young people’s sexual wellbeing charity and menstruation education foundation Bloody Good Period, Alix was a face of HIV Testing Week, and is scheduled to reappear as a fetish and pleasure expert on Channel 4’s The Sex Clinic. Resident Sexual Wellness Expert for Superdrug, and brand ambassador for Tenga and Womanizer masturbation toys (she wouldn’t put her name to anything she wouldn’t happily, fappily put her genitals on!), she’s currently working on an audio documentary series about the history of kink for Audible. A former editor on alternative culture mag Bizarre, her writing can be found in publications including The Guardian, Stylist, Grazia, Glamour, Fabulous, Cosmo, Vogue, Time Out and more, and she’s made videos and shows for folks including Bodyform, EllaOne and Durex. She’s a judge on Lovehoney’s 2020 Design A Sex Toy Competition.

I can’t think of anyone I’d rather confide in about my sexual concerns.

We speak to Alix about the experience of being an X-rated agony aunt, including what questions she commonly gets asked, issues of transference, and the pressure to be at forefront of sexual practice in your private life when you’re a Sexpert. She guides us through an extraordinary array of sex toys, and gives us golden advice on how to keep sex in long term relationships fresh. Micro-dating anyone? We are all in.

Alix’s open-hearted, open-minded approach leaves us feeling that we could talk about anything that’s on our minds about sex and intimacy.

We would love to continue the conversation and hear from you, our listeners: email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod.

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Social Media:

Alix Fox @AlixFox

Naomi Sheldon @NaomiSheldon1

Anand Patel @therealdranand

Follow us at @ThePleasurePod and visit us at www.thepleasurepodcast.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week’s guest is Bruntwood Prize winning playwright, screenwriter and director Anna Jordan. Her work has been performed in theatres around the country from the Royal Court to the Royal Exchange. On screen you’ll have heard her whip smart dialogue in shows such as Succession and Killing Eve. Her down to earth charm is combined with a furiously wicked humour – finding laughter and hope in the darkest of places. And it’s this combination that is so striking in her monologue for The Bunker’s Everywoman, in which playwrights wrote confessions on parenting and identity. Anna’s piece was on her miscarriages and navigating a potential motherhood whilst losing her own mother. In Anna’s signature style, the account is far from hopeless, more, it’s an honest tale about a subject that is still so little spoken of without shame and fear.

 Anna had three missed miscarriages before she had her son (who makes a star appearance). She talks to us about trying for a baby, the losses along the way, what a missed miscarriage is and the choices that follow. We discuss how writing can help us find a way to remember and the joy of finding just the right word for some of the most painful experiences of life. Anna explores the shame of blood, who to tell about your miscarriages and the act of falling in love with her pregnant body after years of self-scrutiny. 

She says ‘if one in four pregnancies end in miscarriage then why as a society don’t we talk about this more? Why is it that anything that occurs below the belly button and above the knee of a woman is talked about in whispers?’

We do go to some darker places here about so take care if you’ve been affected by miscarriage.

CW: Miscarriage, death

Anna is a terrific workshop facilitator and will running a Nurture Ideas and Keep Them Alive workshop on Thurs 3rd Sept, perfect for anyone who wants to get that writing idea down on paper however experienced you are- you can book on eventbrite HERE

Anna is represented by Camilla Young at Curtis Brown

Read more about Anna's experience in her blog HERE

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For support about pregnancy, miscarriage and pregnancy loss/still birth you can contact:

Tommy’s Charity

The Miscarriage Association provide free advice and support

And Sands.org for stillbirths and neonatal...

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Candice Brathwaite launches us into our brand-new season 4 and our mini-series on parenthood. And WHAT guest! She’s the Sunday Times Best-seller author of I Am Not Your Baby Mother and the founder of Make Motherhood Diverse, an online platform to provide visibility for all the “types” of mother you can possibly think of to stand tall, proud and heard. In her memoir she explores her childhood, her pregnancies and what it’s like to bring Black children into a racist society in which Black British women are 5 times more likely to die in childbirth.

We talk to Candice about the kind of motherhood that was pedalled to the women of Brixton of the mother and baby unit, how her husband and the other Black men in her family have been knocking the absent father stereotypes on the head. We discuss the shocking disparity of healthcare between Black mothers and other patients, from pain management to mental well being and how more Black women are liable to be picked up under the mental health act as being a danger to their child even during childbirth. Oh, and why her wardrobe collection is more than about looking good, but a radical act of self-care and Black feminism.

She's a superstar and this is a frank and eye-opening discussion that looks at so many facets of being a mother and a Black mother. We could've talked for hours.

I Am Not Your Baby Mother is published by Quercus Publishing and is available to buy from all good bookstores.

 CW: Traumatic birth and racism

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We would love to hear from you: email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod.

Please do rate, review, and share the podcast, it helps other people find us!

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Social Media:

Candice Brathwaite: Instagram @candicebrathwaite

Naomi Sheldon: @NaomiSheldon1

Anand Patel: @therealdranand

Follow us at @ThePleasurePod and visit us at www.thepleasurepodcast.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today we welcome award-winning Guardian journalist, writer and full-time single dad, Freddy McConnell. Freddy is perhaps most well-known for the film Seahorse: The Dad Who Gave Birth directed by acclaimed director Jeanie Finlay which documented his journey into fatherhood as a trans man. Freddy speaks to us about the empowering experience of realising he was trans, of coming off of testosterone to become pregnant, and how being trans is not necessarily a transition but a state of being.

We also discuss the misinformation given to trans men about the effects of testosterone therapy on their fertility. I found this interview particularly fascinating given my work with testosterone deficiency syndrome in cis men. It was a really important reminder that our assumptions in the medical profession need to be challenged when it comes to treating trans bodies.

Freddy talks about his childhood, the freedom he was given to make his own choices and the compromises he felt compelled to make. We talk about his experimentation with identity, about the difficulty in getting information about being trans 10 years ago and the struggle to get medical treatment - in cases it can be years until the first appointment, let alone starting treatment.

Importantly, we look at the difference between treating trans men and cis men with testosterone and the evolution of understanding how it affects trans men. We discuss the changes that testosterone had on Freddy’s body from hair to his own scent and then being read as male - a hugely affirming moment. Freddy shares how being cared for as a trans man being pregnant was rather uncomplicated, the midwife simply caring for the person in front of them and how the challenges of pregnancy were more from the lack of testosterone and the dysphoria rather than pregnancy.

Seahorse is available to watch here.

Freddy's work can be found on his website here.

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We would love to hear from you: email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod.

Please do rate, review, and share the podcast, it helps other people find us!

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Social Media:

Freddy McConnell: @FreddyMcConnell

Naomi Sheldon: @NaomiSheldon1

Anand Patel: @therealdranand

Follow us at @ThePleasurePod and visit us at www.thepleasurepodcast.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We're baaaaack! Welcome to Season 3 of The Pleasure Podcast. We're kicking off with a woman who needs little introduction. I think it's fair to say she is the nation's sweetheart. And not just because she speaks openly about bonking Jeff Goldblum with a piece of toast stuck to her bum (onscreen).

Some of you may have grown up with her in Nanny Mcphee, had your hearts broken by her in THAT SCENE in Love Actually, or fell in love with her in Sense and Sensibility, Howards End, Last Christmas, or.... the list goes on. Alongside her screen acting she is known for her outspokeness, her activism, and being a general all round excellent egg. She's the only person to have won Academy Awards for both acting and writing, it's DAME EMMA THOMPSON!

We spoke to Emma about how to come back to our instincts when it comes to erotica and pleasure, the sex handbook she made her daughter, why it's important never to shame your sister if you catch her wanking, and the resistance against being squashed into shapes that society wants you to be. Her take on the subtle yet ferocious power of hormones quietly blew our minds.

Emma's astute ability to understand human behaviour is astonishing, and at times she becomes our therapist fit to rival Esther Perel.

We hope this conversation inspires you, gets your brain box buzzing, and helps you (just a little) to come back to what pleasure means to you.

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We would love to continue the conversation and hear from you: email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod.

Please do rate, review, and share the podcast, we hear it helps other people find us!

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Social Media:

Naomi Sheldon: @NaomiSheldon1

Anand Patel: @therealdranand

Follow us at @ThePleasurePod and visit us at www.thepleasurepodcast.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's an emergency isolation episode! We welcome clinical psychologist and psychosexologist Dr Karen Gurney. Karen joins us in these extraordinary times to talk about sex, pleasure and relationships during this pandemic. How we can manage our anxiety and maintain our intimacy whilst distancing ourselves from others.

This is a practical conversation with lots of tips and tricks for us all, whatever our sexuality or gender, whether living on our own, apart from our loved ones, in couples, in house shares or back home with less than supportive families.

Karen is lead psychosexual therapist for 56 Dean Street (NHS) and director of The Havelock Clinic, an independent sexual problems clinic based in London. She teaches nationally and has written for and featured in Marie Claire, Cosmopolitan and Refinery29 and completed her first TEDx talk in Feb 2020. She is also the UK ambassador for www.thepornconversation.org - a not-for-profit initiative set up by Erika Lust designed to help parents and carers talk to young people about porn use.

Karen’s book ‘Mind the Gap: The Truth About Desire And How To Futureproof Your Sex Life’ by Headline Home was launched in March 2020 and is available from Amazon, Waterstones and independent bookstores.

Karen has kindly shared the following free resources for you to use:

https://havelockonlineworkshops.teachable.com/p/how-to-harness-the-power-of-your-brain-to-improve-your-sex-life

You can find the ‘Understanding your conditions for good sex’ exercise at:

https://thehavelockclinic.com/resources/

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We would love to continue the conversation and hear from you: email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod.

Please do rate, review, and share the podcast, we hear it helps other people find us!

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Social Media:

Dr Karen Gurney: @karengurney5 on Twitter and @thesexdoctor on Instagram

Naomi Sheldon: @NaomiSheldon1

Anand Patel: @therealdranand

Follow us at @ThePleasurePod and visit us at www.thepleasurepodcast.com

This episode is sponsored YES, The Organic Intimacy...

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In this week’s episode of The Pleasure Podcast we have a rare interview with Wild Iris - sex worker and Queer woman of colour. Her name and voice have been altered to protect her anonymity.

Wild Iris speaks eloquently and openly about her experiences of having sex with men in order to fund her true passions in life. Iris shares how her autism, negotiating the social interactions and office politics, meant keeping a ‘regular’ job was virtually impossible and how that led her to consider sex work. We discuss the various forms of sex work and her views on ‘sugaring’. Wild Iris reveals how the majority of her time is devoted to administration rather than sex: the business of hotel bookings and websites.

Iris talks openly about the groups of men she works with, the services she provides and what it’s taught her about men. Fascinatingly she reveals how her sexuality intersects with the work she does and how her skin colour makes men view her, in the world vs in a private sexual space.

Iris talks movingly about loneliness and otherness, the isolation of sex work; and sadly, why relationships with health care and particularly the Police are a source of threat and violence to sex workers, how the current law continues to make sex workers remain at risk.

Read Wild Iris's Gal Dem article on loneliness and sex work here. Whilst she prefers to stay away from social media, if you would like to contact her directly, Wild Iris has given permission for her email address to be shared: wild.iris.366@gmail.com.

If you're affected by any of the issues raised in this episode or interested in learning more about keeping sex workers safe, please check out the links:

The Sex Worker Advocacy and Resistance Movement (SWARM): https://www.swarmcollective.org

National Ugly Mugs: https://uknswp.org/

https://decrimnow.org.uk

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CW: This episode has mentions of rape and sexual violence.

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As usual, we would love to hear from you and continue the conversation. Email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod.

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Social Media:

Naomi Sheldon: @NaomiSheldon1

Anand Patel: @therealdranand

Follow us at: @ThePleasurePod and visit us at www.thepleasurepodcast.com

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Today we welcome renowned child-birth coach and author Lindsey Bliss. Lindsey is co-founder of doula agency Carriage House Birth which has assisted in more than 1100 births across the US and is mother of seven including two sets of twins! As Naomi has been pregnant with twins for all of lockdown, Lindsey was the perfect person to speak to about the role of a doula in supporting people through a momentous but often stressful time. Anand had been taught to be suspicious of doulas at medical school but speaking to Lindsey was transformational and totally turned around his understanding of exactly what a doula does.

Lindsey shares how her own birth experiences made her want to support and empower others going through the same situation to make their own choices and have their voices heard through their birth journey. We discuss the challenges of the medicalisation of birth and the differences between the UK and US systems. Lindsey stresses the impact of race on the care you might receive and recognising the role of a doula to bear witness and even hold healthcare professionals and the structures responsible to account.

As Naomi has found, there can be a lack of continuity during pregnancy, nevermind lockdown, and seeing a different midwife or doctor each time makes building trust and relationships with healthcare professionals hard and can ramp up the uncertainty. In these situations, as Lindsey tells us, the regular support of a doula throughout the pregnancy can bring a real sense of relief and allow for someone to advocate for your choices without imposing their views. In this impassioned, wide-ranging interview, we discuss the issues that worry new parents the most, trying to change the language of pain that imbues standard conversations about delivery and how to retain your identity and sensuality as a new parent.

Lindsey’s book The Doula’s Guide to Empowering Your Birth published by Harvard Common Press is available from Amazon, Waterstones and all good independent bookstores.

Read more about her work and agency, Carriage House Birth here and catch up with her on Instagram @doulabliss.

CW: Childbirth, medical problems in delivery

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We would love to hear from you: email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod.

Please do rate, review, and share the podcast, it helps other people find us!

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Social Media:

Lindsey Bliss: @doulabliss

Naomi Sheldon: @NaomiSheldon1

Anand Patel: @therealdranand

Follow us at @ThePleasurePod and visit us at www.thepleasurepodcast.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week on The Pleasure Podcast we welcome actor Paapa Essiedu. He’s been named a BAFTA breakthrough Brit and won huge acclaim for his performance as the RSC’s first black Hamlet. In Michaela Coel’s series I May Destory you he plays the sex positive Kwame, a gay man whose assault is ignored by the Police – a beautifully nuanced performance. But Naomi will always think of him as the man she met at the RSC who in one memorable show played a singing seal as her understudy – a role she'll never let him forget.

Paapa grew up in east London, and was raised by his Ghanaian Christian mother, after his father left for Ghana. Her upbringing had a long-lasting impact which made him the man he is today.

We talk to Paapa about growing up in the 90s, poor and Black on a London estate and what happens if your only sex education is learnt from lads’ mags and fumbles behind the bike shed. We look at how lad culture can forge desires that don’t match up to the girl you fancy in Geography and the unlearning men must do to discover their own tastes.

Paapa tells us how sometimes not having your dad breathing down your neck can let you be free to be your own man and the privilege of emotional vulnerability when being strong and hard can act as a mode of survival. We touch on how Black men are pushed towards hyper sexualisation and how the #MeToo movement has impacted the conversations men are now having. How willing are they to engage with past behaviours?

CW: Racism

If you would like to know more about groups that are supporting men and their role in society do check out the following organisations:

The Good Men Project: A website that examines what it means to be a good man in today's society.

Good Lad Initiative: specialising in helping men and boys to contribute to improving gender relations.

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We would love to hear from you: email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod.

Please do rate, review, and share the podcast, it helps other people find us.

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Social Media:

Paapa Essiedu: @PaapaEssiedu

Naomi Sheldon: @NaomiSheldon1

Anand Patel: @therealdranand

Follow us at @ThePleasurePod and visit us at www.thepleasurepodcast.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It’s our Bonus Edinburgh Episode! At The Pleasure Podcast HQ we are delighted to welcome theatre maker, actor and award-winning spoken word artist Katie Greenall. She’s been a resident artist at The Roundhouse for the past year and created the show Fatty Fat Fat about living in a body which the world tells you to hate which she will be performing at the Edinburgh Fringe this August - do catch her there. 

An advocate for the fat acceptance movement with the Fat Liberation manifesto above her bed, Katie urges people to leave their diet books at the door, whilst she sheds a light on what it’s like to be constantly judged on your body size. 

In an interview with The Stage she said “Theatre should hold a mirror up to society and there are people who look like me whose stories are eradicated. This show isn’t about saying ‘this is my body and I love it’, because that isn’t my truth – this show is about life.”

In today’s episode, Katie reclaims the word fat for herself and learns to love her body by increments, an ongoing process. 

We discuss the lack of fat people in the media, and fat fictional characters who aren't merely the comedy character. It’s a journey to empower herself, now able to ask for what she needs as a fat person and to stop policing herself. Katie shares the unsatisfying sex of her teens that ticked experiential boxes but left her unmoved. She talks about exploring her queerness, to find a word that fits how she feels and the people she loves; how bigger bodies fit together and enjoy pleasure. 

We would love to continue the conversation and hear from you: email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod.

Social Media:

Naomi Sheldon: @NaomiSheldon1

Anand Patel: @therealdranand

Katie Greenall: @Katie_Greenall

Follow us at: @ThePleasurePod and visit us at www.thepleasurepodcast.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week on The Pleasure Podcast, our guest is the brilliantly bright, best-selling author Sarah Perry.

Sarah's novels After Me Comes The Flood, The Essex Serpent, and Melmoth have made her into a house-hold name. The Essex Serpent was a number one bestseller in hardback, was shortlisted for the Costa Novel Award and was named Waterstones Book of the Year. It is currently being adapted for screen. Melmoth, a Gothic masterpiece of moral complexity, asking us profound questions about mercy, redemption, and how to make the best of our conflicted world, was a Sunday Times Bestseller and was shortlisted for The International Dylan Thomas Prize. She's been compared to Dickens, Bram Stoker and Kafka. But her writing refuses to follow conventions and genre and her Gothic spirit is always accompanied by sharp originality.

She also happens to be one of the most interesting, worldly women I've ever had the pleasure to meet. Sarah's puritanical upbringing led her to find a secret world of pleasure and erotic imagination in literature, whether in Tess of the D'Urbervilles or her sisters' Jilly Cooper books stashed under the bed. Her tastes are wide and her conversation deep. We talk about what makes the great erotic moments in literature, what we're programmed to find erotic, the ethics of writing, the inadequacy of filthy language... and if there there really should be a Bad Sex Awards at all.

She also reads out some delicious poetry by Hannah Sullivan and sexy James Joyce letters. Best to listen on your earphones for this one.

The Pleasure Podcast is hosted by Naomi Sheldon and Anand Patel, edited by Matt Peover and hosted by Acast.

After Me Comes The Flood, The Essex Serpent, and Melmoth are published by Serpent's Tail

The Hannah Sullivan poem we discuss is You, Very Young in New York from Three Poems

Elizabeth Smart's By Grand Central Station I Sat Down and Wept is available here

You can read some of James Jocye's letters to Nora here

And here's quotes from the full shortlist of the 2018 Bad Sex Awards

Social Media:

Naomi Sheldon @NaomiSheldon1

Anand Patel @therealdranand

Sarah Perry www.sarahperry.net

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This we speak to consultant breast cancer surgeon, author, TEDx Speaker, triathlete, and nominee for Woman of the Year 2016 Liz O’Riordan.

Liz was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer in 2015 and had a recurrence in 2018. She went viral when she dressed as Elastagirl from the Incredibles for the last day of her radiotherapy. Liz uses her unique perspective of being both surgeon and patient to write her award-winning blog about living with breast cancer and more recently a book: The Complete Guide to Breast Cancer.

She writes to empower cancer patients, separating fact from fiction. We speak to Liz about her experience of surgeon turned patient and the lack of information breast cancer patients are provided with when it comes to sex and intimacy after diagnosis. Her story of redefining her sense of feminity when the treatment removed a breast and plunged her into sudden early menopause is powerful and eye-opening. We felt very honored to have Liz with us to speak on a subject we hear so little about.

You can read Liz’s blog and watch her TEDx talk here: liz.oriordan.co.uk

Buy her book The Complete Guide to Breast Cancer: How to feel empowered and take control published by Vermilion from @hivestores HERE , or HERE @wordery or from Amazon HERE

Liz's TEDx talk Jar of Joy can be found HERE

Her top twitter sex gurus are Jo Divine and @SamTalksSex 

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As usual, we would love to hear from you and continue the conversation. Email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod.

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Social Media:

Naomi Sheldon: @NaomiSheldon1

Anand Patel: @therealdranand

Follow us at: @ThePleasurePod and visit us at www.thepleasurepodcast.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode of The Pleasure Podcast we welcome Leïla Slimani. She was the first Moroccan woman to win France’s most prestigious literary prize, the Prix Goncourt, which she won for Lullaby. A journalist and frequent commentator on women’s and human rights, she is French president Emmanuel Macron’s personal representative for the promotion of the French language and culture. 

We speak to Leila about her collection of essays Sex and Lies which examine the sex lives of women in Morocco. 

In these essays Slimani gives voice to young Moroccan women grappling with a conservative culture that at once condemns and commodifies sex. In a country where the law punishes and outlaws all forms of sex outside marriage, as well as homosexuality and prostitution, women have only two options for their sexual identities: virgin or wife. 

We discuss what it was like growing up in a liberal family within a deeply conservative society. Misconceptions about sex and sexism in Islam. And whether we can ever know who we are when our country has been colonised.

She asks if it’s possible for the people of Morocco to rediscover their own culture away from the impact of colonialism and if so, whether that would be a more tender, affectionate, and honest way to live. Sex and Lies confronts Morocco's hypocrisy of sexual values and is a vibrant appeal for the universal freedom to be, to love and to desire.

Sex and Lies is published by Faber and Faber and is available HERE

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We would love to continue the conversation and hear from you: email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod.

Please do rate, review, and share the podcast, we hear it helps other people find us!

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Social Media:

Naomi Sheldon: @NaomiSheldon1

Anand Patel: @therealdranand

Follow us at @ThePleasurePod and visit us at www.thepleasurepodcast.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It’s the SEASON 2 FINALE people! Not only has it zipped by, but we added on TWO MORE EPISODES from season 1 for your pleasure. Don’t say we don’t treat you well.

And are we finishing this round with a bang or what?! (we are, yes) We have an extraordinary, golden guest for you to see us out. Welcome Rain Dove Dubilewski. You’ll likely know them better by face than by voice, but that’s soon to change… Rain Dove was the first model EVER to be in both male and female magazine covers at the same time and have been using their hefty social media platform (350K+ followers on IG) to defy gender norms and raise awareness about social issues including women’s rights and mental health. Rain is an open-minded, self-aware, funny interviewee who is open and giving with their unusual, moving life story and their hopes for society. You’re going to get a lot out of it. PROMISE.

 Rain joins us to talk about the impact of growing up whilst fitting into the aesthetic expected from women despite the F on their birth certificate. It wasn’t until working as a firefighter in an all-male team who thought Rain was a man, that they realised they were able to present both as male and as female. Living as a man during this time allowed them a sneak peek into what they thought would be a bed of toxic masculinity. What they learnt there would change how they understood the power dynamics at play when it comes to the currency of emotion.

 You ought to know that when Rain is presenting as either male or female or simply themselves, they are absolutely drop dead gorgeous.

 We talk about the benefits and drawbacks of presenting as either gender, and what being a ‘a Gender Capitalist’ really means. Rain tells us about their often harrowing experiences of using male and female bathrooms and why unisex toilets are in fact the safest loo option for everyone. What struck me most about her story is how despite having Trump supporting parents and leaving home at 18 to save face for the family after coming out, they believe in empathy with the people who most ostracise them. Their message of acceptance and kindness is paramount and is quite frankly, inspirational.

 Rain is making a mockumentary series Queers Without Fears developed entirely by the queer community. It’s a fun sci-fi venture which seeks to readdress the balance of highly sexed and violent portrayals of queer folk that presides in film and TV and it’s out in December!

 They are also releasing a mockumentary in response to Piers Morgan’s insistence that if you can choose your pronoun, then he chooses to identify as a penguin. It’s going to be very funny but with an undoubtedly important message about love and kindness at its heart.

Enjoy and we’ll see you next year with more terrific guests and topics on pleasure and the body for Series 3. 

You can watch Rain’s TedX talk on Gender Capitalism here

CW: misgendering and violence

We would love to continue the conversation and hear from you, our listeners: email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod.

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Social Media:

Rain Dove @raindovemodel

Naomi Sheldon: 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the very first episode of The Pleasure Podcast. Join your hosts Naomi Sheldon and Anand Patel as they and a guest delve into the world of pleasure and the relationship we have to our bodies when it comes to sex and intimacy. This week they are joined by photographer, artist and author Laura Dodsworth.

When do we ever see a photograph of a vulva which is not sexualised? What happens when we see 100, each accompanied by a woman's story?

Laura's books The Bare Reality and Manhood documenting 100 photos of breasts and penises alongside intimate personal testimonies have been making waves around the world. Her new book Womanhood completes this triptych with photos of 100 vulvas giving a powerful insight into what it means to be a woman in the 21st century.

Not only is Laura a pioneer of documenting the stories of the body, but she is one of the most articulate and inquiring minds we could have hoped to have spoken to on this subject. We talk about internalised misogyny when it comes to how we feel our vulvas should look like, the radical act of showing how they really look outside of the 'porn perfect pussy', childbirth, the pleasure women are capable of and much more...

Most poignantly, Laura speaks about shame and anger as a way to hold women in their place. She describes how sharing stories can help us let go of our shame and tap into our collective anger and sexuality as a source of strength and a force for change. "Pleasure is about more than nerve endings. Because I've let go of some of some shame, I've actually let go of some armour... I feel like a stronger person but more capable of vulnerability." She is, in short, a revelation and we hope you fall in love with her as deeply as we did.

NB This is our first recording and it's a bit more echo-y than the rest of the series - but it is full of wisdom, wit and wonder!

Laura Dodsworth's 100 Vagina's documentary on C4 is available to watch here, her books Womanhood, Manhood and Bare Reality are available here. Naomi's play Good Girl is available here

Naomi Sheldon @NaomiSheldon1, Anand Patel @therealdranand, Laura Dodsworth @BareReality

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.