The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project (All Things Comedy)

Athletes at the Olympics are sleeping in cardboard anti-sex beds. A student uses a Hitler quote in his yearbook and a Florida Bath & Body Works thief uses bear mace to attack people at a mall. 

Anthony and Gregg do the opposite of a reverse nadir recounting Anthony’s perfect trip to Halifax. This one had great energy so what are you doing still reading the description? 

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Anthony and Gregg are together again to talk about how Gregg is too old to sleep over at a party and Anthony's getting back into standup. Anthony asks how Gregg totally fumbled Mother's Day and gives some advice as to how he should have handled it. Anthony talks about reading and writing comics before getting into some light, airy headlines like a boy hit to death over a cheesecake, a youtube video about Euthanizing a dog going viral, and a woman running over graves and trying to hit people with her car at an ex boyfriend's funeral. Choo choo!

Anthony just couldn’t wait any longer to recap his trip across Australia, Asia and India. So the guys got back on the mics, traveled across the world and read some bizarre headlines same as it ever was.

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It's the Temptation Staircase. Can you resist pushing something down?

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A woman has a baby with a sperm donor instead of her boyfriend, a man is arrested for kissing unsuspected sunbathers butts, and a man is covered in poop after a passing plane. 

Anthony and Gregg talk about a San Diego trip in which Anthony wasn't invited this time. Erica went horseback riding for Valentines Day and Gregg doesn't remember Anthony's 30th birthday. A man is caught having sex on the job while getting paid overtime for it and a substitute teacher gets caught masterbating in the classroom. 

Anthony has a message for America. A directive, really. And then he repeats that edict repeatedly throughout the episode to great effect. 

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A Michigan woman tried to hire an assassin using a fake website, another woman dies after being injured by a "comfort animal” and an Italian Bishop ruins Christmas by telling kids there is no Santa. 

A Danish man was caught with 21 vaginas in his freezer, a Washington woman is rescued after falling face first into toilet to retrieve her phone and a Florida Bride and caterer are charged with lacing wedding food with weed.

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Anthony giggles uncontrollably trying to get a joke out in this episode that he never quite completes. Listen to the episode to find out when!

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A few barriers are broken on this week’s episode. An entire country earns Listener of the Week status and an emailer endures Anthony’s fury like no emailer before. Emails are a thing and they can be dangerous. 

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Kim Jon Un bans leather jackets so people can't copy his look,  a 'Squid Game' smuggler is set to die by firing squad in North Korea and an adult model shoots herself in her vagina while filming for fans. 

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An arrested driver claims he didn't know a severed head and torso were inside his truck,  a Houston mom is accused of isolating her COVID positive son in the trunk of car and psychologists argue over whether to call patients "sluts".

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Comedy in December just isn’t the same for Anthony. He misses his audience – like the badass JRVP listeners. Anthony and Gregg discuss their recent dinner and reveal the top three finishers of the Junior Vice President listener contest.

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Mail, mail and more mail. 

Anthony and Gregg are back for Studio Session 2 like a killer lightning strike. The Vice Presidents talk about all the hands on Aaron Rodgers, being late for work and Anthony opening for Your Old Droog. Liz spruces up the studio; check it if you dare on Anthony's YouTube Page

Anthony and Gregg have made the move to the All Things Comedy studio and everything is different now. Anthony’s tour announcement (at AnthonyJeselnik.com) goes wrong, as does a 17-year-old’s tubing trip in Wisconsin, as does an amusement park ride in Tennessee. What doesn’t go wrong: The maiden voyage to the ATC studio, which goes gangbusters. Check us out on YouTube too, if you dare! 

Two brothers hit and killed by train at a memorial for their third brother hit and killed by train. 

Anthony and Gregg catch up on Anthony’s time in West Palm Beach running into an old college friend, draft the best roasters of all time, and learn way too much about sounding in a cringey episode of Jeselnik and Rosenthal Vanity Project.  

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Anthony and Gregg are back to talk about being respectful and what they would do in each other's shoes in a new segment (title work in progress). A funeral home is getting some free labor, Papa John is doing the work to clean up his vocabulary, and a Pastor is telling wives that they are too fat and butch. 

A Man dies after masturbating while driving and flipping his car over, a Finnish skier suffers from a frozen penis during a cross country event, and a teacher admits to feeding cupcakes containing husbands semen to students.  

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Anthony and Gregg talk about this historic day in American History. Gregg is making the most of his alone time at home and Anthony gives some advice on how to make the time go even quicker. Is improv comedy cooler than standup? We chat penis girth, sexy teachers and a huge, huge, huge rabbit.

Anthony and Gregg are back for some of the grimmest headlines and the most controversial JRVP Listener of the Week choice the show has ever seen. 

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A Florida mom was shot by a toddler live on a zoom call, a woman marries a man convicted of killing her brother and three brothers die after passing out in a manure pit. 

A Russian man mistook a man for a bear and killed him, a zoo banned a woman for having an affair with a chimp and a man died after gluing his penis shut because he forgot a condom. 

Anthony and Gregg have a lot to live up to after last week’s episode and a lot to answer for. The guys give advice on whether to gamble full-time and how best to use your dog in the car.

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Anthony forgot Gregg's birthday and also had to drug his dog, Rummy. Anthony, Gregg and Erica talk about who they'd clone and travel with. Headlines this week include a boy who almost became a mashed potato, a gender reveal going wrong, and Dr. Dre's ex not wanting to share clothes. 

Anthony and Gregg are back! After a long time off, Anthony talks about what he did on election night, lets us know how his european tour went and dives deep into the Tom Brady commercial strategy. The near and potential long-term future of JRVP is also discussed before diving into emails and headlines. It’s good to be back. 

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The World's first elderly sex robot is created with wrinkles and grey hair. A man is bitten by his neighbor's escaped python while sitting on the toilet and a hot California correctional officer sentenced for "depraved" sex with inmates. Oh and Juvenile creates a banger, "VAXX that thang up" for a dating app.

Anthony and Gregg come strong on this mailbag episode after digesting Bill Burr’s copious notes. They answer questions such as the best way to get inebriated before work and cast themselves in a JRVP horror movie.

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A boy throwing rocks off a bridge onto cars gets shot in the abdomen by a crossbow, a robot breaks a little boys finger while playing chess, and a bride was shot in the head during a celebratory gunfire at her wedding. 

Anthony is in a mood. So Gregg tries to turn that frown upside down with some bad jokes and talk of a killing spree at a petting zoo.

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Is it okay to go through your partner's phone? A man’s penis fell off but regrew back on his arm, a naked man fell from the ceiling in the women's restroom and a man was found with a kilogram of gold stuffed up his bottom. 

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It’s Episode 200! Anthony and Gregg reveal the winners of the Erotic Fan Fiction contest and read the top five entrants on the show. There are gifts, there are laughs and there is Renner. No regrets! 

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Anthony and Gregg have a huge announcement: THE NOID IS BACK. Gregg's segment was cut short on tv and Anthony gives his advice on what he would do. We list what brand's social media we'd love to take over before getting into headlines of the week. Josh Duggar is back in the news, a wedding is God's Will, and a teenager accidentally moves into a retirement community. Choo Choo! 

It's amazing that this is even getting posted right now. 

Anthony and Gregg talk about their week and what it's like to work with the funniest man alive. Anthony thinks having a dog is harder than children, because children don't want to kill each other on the street. Erica reads a fan email in her corner and the guys reflect on Lady Gaga's dog walker being shot, a young girl being killed during an exorcism, and a killer rooster. We have a new favorite spanish rapper, everybody. 

Football season is over, but JRVP season never ends. Anthony and Gregg talk about why Anthony had a weird time during the Super Bowl and someone from Gregg’s past pops up in Email Corner. Diamonds around the world unite. 

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A wife was shocked to learn her husband's cadaver was dissected at a pay per view event, a woman got a massive back tattoo of her boyfriend one week before they broke up, and a man's penis rots after being bitten by a snake while sitting on the toilet. 

We have to start the show with the SLAP heard around the world. A Florida Man was captured on video molesting the family dog, an Arizona company is paying people to poop, and an elderly California man who hired hitmen to kill his wife's podiatrist after her death was found guilty of murder. Yikes. THE SLAP. 

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All new songs this week! 

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For the Fourth of July, Anthony and Gregg celebrate the superiority of America. We’ve got Meth cooking Sushi Chefs, Ant Sex and the absolute worst way to lose your assistant bowling coach job. 

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Is it getting emotional in the ATC studios with only a couple episodes left before JRVP takes a break? No, no it is not.

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Gregg is in Japan, so Anthony brings enough heat to travel across the ocean with life advice that could survive any submarine.

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A Pregnant Texas woman tells an officer her unborn child is a person when caught driving in the HOV lane, Howie Mandel traumatized the internet with an anal prolapse video, and a missing man that fell into a shredder is found by the coroners office.  Gregg is recording from Japan & Erica has the most chaotic day ever. Trigger Warning: chaos. 

A teen gets a USB chord stuck inside his penis, a Texas mother interrupts a school board meeting to talk about anal sex and a woman finds out after 9 years that her gynecologist is her biological father. 

Anthony and Gregg went to dinner together for the first time in a year, and Anthony's dog hates Gregg so much that he made him go home.  Anthony and Gregg battle for who will donate sperm to Erica. We find out "What Would Anthony Do" when an elephant takes a giant piss. Headlines this week include Lil Nas X grinding on Satan, a coach being fired for using slurs as play calls, and a jockey being suspended after testing 1000 times over the cocaine limit. CHOO CHOO. 

On a very special episode of JRVP, the healing power of salsa conquers all (Except prematurely buried toddlers, Martha Stewart’s sex life, and Anthony’s athletic prowess).

Anthony and Gregg get locked out of work, talk about a nurse gone wild and Anthony gives a special appreciation for all the JRVP listeners. 

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Mailbag time! Listeners wrote in their questions to our email and Anthony and Gregg answered!

Like many a great novel, this episode builds slowly and ends in a torrent of explosive emotions, misgivings, killer roosters and sex dolls mistaken for human bodies. 

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In this special year-end episode, Anthony and Gregg go long and strong talking about Anthony’s final shows of the year, a chance meeting out with Bill Burr and their annual Top-10 books of the year list.

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Mail, Mail, and MORE Mail!

Anthony and Gregg talk about Tom Brady’s Roast, killing dogs and adopting a monk in the best way possible. 

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A teacher who replaced  a fired sex crime teacher commits sex crimes herself, a woman befriended her mom's killer and then he killed her and an immigration officer was fired for putting his wife he didn't like on the terrorist list. In Erica's Corner we play a new song from DJ $crilla. 

Anthony is off the road and ready to talk about Chris Rock’s comedy special, a wedding death where everyone wins and is a little too excited to give advice to a listener whose boyfriend cheated on her with his step-sister. 

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A Man gets eaten by piranhas and drowns in lake while escaping a bee attack, a man in upstate NY bursts into flames after being tasered and a woman is held hostage by a sword wielding man in Utah. 

SEAWEED IS DEAD. 

An elderly woman falls in a country club pond and is eaten by alligators, a man serves his amputated foot to his friends in tacos, and a honey brand is recalled when the ingredient to help ED was discovered inside. 

Anthony and Gregg talk about what life will be like after Covid restrictions lift, Anthony's family is in shock over a sad story that happened this past week, and a listener questions how Anthony and Gregg find new and exciting books. JRVP is back with another segment of "What Would Anthony Do starring Eddie Murphy and Dan Aykroyd. A man propped up his dead wife with sunglasses to trick their kids at Christmas, a stolen slide from the park, and some sweet, sweet Rollercoaster lovin' makes the headlines this week. 

It’s been far too long since Anthony and Gregg were in the studio together, so they catch up on Anthony’s tour, go over the Hasan Minhaj controversy and dance like no one is watching when two brand new songs are premiered on a very special JRVP.

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Anthony is playing hurt, giving episode 236 a dramatic tension unlike any other. Can he make it to the end?

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Anthony knows you are worried about the announcement he made last week and he is ready to ease your concerns. Or not. We also get to the bottom of the least lucky woman on Earth. 

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A man accused of killing his wife wins the GOP primary from jail, a mother fell in love with her son and "the sex is mind blowing!" and a woman with two vaginas defies all odds and gives birth. 

A Man poos out of his privates and ejaculates from his bum due to rare condition, a haunted house actor stabs an 11 year old in the foot while trying to scare him and some gorillas surprise some on lookers at the zoo. 

Anthony is inspired this week; by art, by Jack Handey and by one JRVP fan who makes a Bones and All decision everyone can appreciate. 

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The Holiday season is officially here and no one celebrates it like Anthony and Gregg. Except for the Taco Bell location in San Pedro, California.

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An 80 year woman old gets locked in her basement after a bloody intruder broke in and told her to take bath with him in her nightgown, a transracial influencer plans penis reduction to be "100% Korean" and a man sleeping with his sister, murders her after finding out she slept with another man.

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Anthony is in a bad mood after being stood up by a new friend and being disrespected in the All Things Comedy parking lot and everyone pays the price.

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A man drops used condoms into donation boxes and says he's spreading the message of Jesus, Alexa tells a 10 year old girl to touch a plug with a penny, and the Taliban orders shop owners in Afghanistan to behead all mannequins. Jason Derulooooo. 

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THE Pig heart man dies 2 months after transplant, a man in a porter potty is crushed by a bulldozer and a box of human heads is found in Denver.

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The Boys are back in town and they are ready. Ready for the Weeknd! Get in the mood for summer with too much talk about stolen body parts and dogs. 

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Anthony and Gregg talk about the rules of sleeping in the same bed and the biggest question every two friends must ask: Do they dare close the door? Also, Rummy finally loves Anthony!

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Anthony does his best to end the show in less than an hour because he enjoyed talking so much about ending the show in perpetuity. Is this tour ever going to end?

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Gregg and Anthony talk about their week and what they've been up to. Anthony talks about comedians pitching their cities for him to move to and Gregg needs some help with getting his daughter to like fresh air. Eric Andre once set off fireworks on Anthony's set and he talks about if he was really mad before getting to the headlines of the week. A two year old shot both of his parents, a woman faked a wedding, and Bill Gates is on the market. 

Anthony is back and so is Shauna Rae in our lives. Anthony and Gregg talk about whether dating a 23-year-old that looks like an 8-year-old is creepy, what’s up with Anthony and James Acaster and remember a classic, literal staredown between Anthony and his old boss Jimmy Fallon. 

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An Alabama man was found sleeping in a press box amidst chicken fingers, candy and meth, a drunk man joins a search party looking for himself and a man dressed up as a ninja attacked special ops soldiers. 

Mailbag - but voice memo style. 

A man tosses his penis out a window during a police car chase, our favorite pansexual body builder is back, and a woman is found guilty after hiding 26 kids behind a false wall at a daycare facility. 

Anthony and Gregg discuss the Steelers loss to the Browns in the Playoffs and how Anthony put the loss into perspective. Gregg is really into Koalas all of a sudden and Anthony talks about not being able to travel to Thailand. A guy got too drunk and changed his name to Celine Dion, Armie Hammer is 100% a cannibal and a girl is robbed at gunpoint for a dog. It's not creepy to have a sex doll, but it's very creepy to break it. 

Anthony finally has power and on the fourth day he said "let there be light." Anthony and Gregg share their memories of Larry King before getting to this week's headlines: more monkey exploitation, a TSA agent tricked a girl for boobs, and a man ran around naked covered in guts carrying his dad's head. Who is the worst cook in America? As always, we close the show with the hot recommendations you can't afford to miss. Like $GME.  

Gregg has a Sophie’s Choice in this episode that will change the way you look at him forever or at least change how Anthony mercilessly mocks him for the rest of the episode. 

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There are no sacred cows on this episode of JRVP, just sacred elephants. Birthday boys, herpes influencers and pickleballers all face Anthony and Gregg’s wrath. New videos drop Wednesday nights on Anthony’s Youtube page and our new merch is available on his website. 

Anthony is back from recording his special and flying high. He’s also the owner of multiple cars. 

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A DJ is slammed for playing song for prom queen with no working legs, an alleged threesome leads to a 60 person brawl on a cruise and a drunk wedding guest nearly sets venue on fire and continues dancing. 

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We're all playing checkers while this woman in the storm drain is playing chess. 

Gregg is back in the studio and Anthony is riding high after some epic shows. But the return of one of JRVP’s most famous clips causes a rift in the show’s fabric that may never be repaired. 

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Anthony and Gregg talk about the usual like Rummy in water, babies in water and Erica in bed. They also talk about the heartbreak of grieving for a close friend and whether talking about that usual nonsense makes you feel better.

It’s time to make a billion on streaming. Anthony starts the process of putting together his band with a single that is going straight to the top of the charts.

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Demi Lovato sings to ghosts to help them overcome sexism, rampaging monkeys kill 250 dogs in revenge massacre and a robber held up a bank but deposited the money in that bank’s ATM outside, in his account. 

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Anthony, Gregg and Erica are in person for the first time in months and hilarity ensues. It's Rummy's Gotcha day! 

It’s a late night party in the JRVP studios. The most annoying neighbor, the worst thing to find with Christmas decorations and some new jingles help pass the time until the big Erotic Fan Fiction Contest in episode 200.

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A Pro-life activist is found with 5 fetuses in her home, a southwest passenger was arrested for masturbating 4 times during a flight, and parents unplug their ring cam as a person keeps offering their 3 year old ice cream every night.

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Anthony and Gregg have a lot to catch up on in the first episode of 2023. Christmas, Birthday, New Year’s, Tulane, RENNER.

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A house where a teen brutally murdered his mom and sisters has a graphic halloween display, a man was indicted for swinging a machete during an argument and a New Zealand city wizard was taken off payroll. 

A professor of "Happiness" locks his child in a dog crate and beats his wife, a singer peed on an audience member during a concert and an 11 year old girl got gonorrhea from a hot spring.