The Couples Therapist Couch (Shane Birkel)

Click here to learn more about The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

If you work with couples you know that a large percentage of the people seeking help have experienced some sort of infidelity in their relationship. Sometimes, people wonder if it's even worth trying to repair the relationship. 

Even if you use the best possible interventions in therapy, some cases seem to not get any better. Dr. Talal Alsaleem and I discuss his new book called Unfaithful and Unrepentant: Affairs Beyond the Hope of Repair where he discusses this topic.

Dr. Talal Alsaleem is an expert at helping couples to do this. He also does training and supervision for other therapists to learn how to more effectively help couples who have been affected by infidelity.

Learn more about Dr. Talal Alsaleem here.

And here for training on working with affairs

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Some of the most popular episodes on the podcast have been about working with sex in the context of Couples Therapy. There are so many dimensions to explore beyond the physical aspect of what is going on sexually. In this episode Ian Kerner talks about a range of ways to explore sexuality in more depth. Considerations include where clients fall in the life span, cultural, family of origin, medications, psychological issues, internalized beliefs interpersonal and relational issues.

Also during this episode we talk about using a science based approach, the PLISSIT model, low desire, mismatch libido, erotic temperament, sexual function issues, and the willingness window.

Ian Kerner, PhD, LMFT is a licensed psychotherapist and nationally recognized sexuality counselor who specializes in sex therapy, couples therapy and working with individuals on a range of relational issues. Ian is regularly quoted as an expert in various media, with appearances on The Today Show, The Dr. Oz Show, and NPR. He lectures frequently on topics related to sex and relationships.

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit HelloAlma.com/ATPP to learn more

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this episode, Shane talks with Dr. Laura Copley about trauma bonds. Laura is a trauma therapist, international speaker, and author of the relationship self-help book, Loving You Is Hurting Me. Hear the stigma around trauma bonds & toxic relationships, how trauma bonds work, how to help your clients face their fears, the similarities between trauma bonds & addiction, and how to give hope to your clients’ relationships.

To learn more about Dr. Laura Copley, visit:

Loving You Is Hurting Me on Amazon

Loving You Is Hurting Me on Barnes & Noble

Instagram @DocCopley

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this solo episode, Shane discusses how leverage works in couples therapy. Hear the different forms of leverage, examples of leverage involving couples, how leverage can help you tackle tricky topics with clients, whether it’s right to stay together for the kids, and the most important questions to ask in a couples therapy session

When couples come to us with issues related to money they often feel completely stuck. One partner might want to save for the future and one partner might want to give their children valuable experiences in the present. There is often a multitude of stuff going on beneath the surface that couples are only partially aware of.

In this episode with Kiné Corder we go into detail about how to help couples listen and understand each other's values without compromising their own. We talk about how to help couples not only communicate, but also to make a plan that they can both feel good about and provide them with structure about how to work through difficult money conversations. 

Kiné Corder is a best-selling author, international speaker, and psychotherapist specializing in financial therapy. She is the host of the Love and Money Podcast.

Stan Tatkin says that being a Couples Therapist is like being a good Jazz Musician. With a jazz performance, the musicians follow the flow and play in the moment. They're not following a rehearsed piece. No concert is the same. With jazz, it's the many years of practice and expertise, that give each performance its unique identity.

As Couples Therapists we bring our own experience and training to each couple we work with. The best Therapists have the ability to be present and trust their instincts to guide couples to what they need.

Stan Tatkin is the creator of A Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy. He is the author of several books for couples which are listed below with links. 

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Check out Stan's website at thepactinstitute.com

Stan's TED Talk called Relationships Are Hard, But Why?

Stan's books:

Wired for Dating

Wired for Love

Your Brain on Love (6 CD set)

Love and War in Intimate Relationships

When couples are unable to communicate because they get emotionally escalated, it is often a result of trauma. Dr. Janina Fisher helps people become aware of these emotions and parts of themselves in a way that they can begin to heal and grow and improve their relationships.

Janina Fisher, PhD is a licensed Clinical Psychologist and Instructor at the Trauma Center, an outpatient clinic and research center founded by Bessel van der Kolk. Known for her expertise as both a therapist and consultant, Dr. Fisher lectures and teaches nationally and internationally on topics related to the integration of research and treatment and how to introduce these newer trauma treatment paradigms in traditional therapeutic approaches.

Find out more at janinafisher.com

Get her book, Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Today's Sponsor

I've partnered with the Psychotherapy Networker to give you this free resource from Esther Perel. She's put together her 125 best "sexuality conversation starters." Get it today at psychotherapynetworker.org/shane

This episode is packed full with advice for how to do good couples therapy. Some of the topics covered are the 6 types of confrontation, rethinking 1st sessions, and how to incorporate attachment theory, differentiation, and neuroscience. 

Dr. Ellyn Bader is the co-founder of the Developmental Model for Couples Therapy. She and Dr. Peter Pearson co-wrote the book, In Quest of the Mythical Mate. They were pioneers in the field of couples therapy at the time and have since educated numerous therapists on how to work effectively with couples.

In this episode with Jan Bergstrom, we go into depth about the 5 Core Practices of a Healthy Life. This work was inspired by Pia Mellody and has become the foundation for many models of therapy. We talk about doing inner child work, feelings reduction work, and standing in your truth. We also touch on the importance of self-esteem and boundaries.

Jan is the co-founder of the Healing Our Core Issues Institute. She is the author of the new book, Gifts From a Challenging Childhood. She has trained with Pia Mellody, Peter Levine, John Kabat Zinn, Sue Johnson, and Terry Real.

For more information on trainings and workshops go to healingourcoreissuesinstitute.com.

Get Jan's book, Gifts From a Challenging Childhood

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Today's Sponsor

The Kauai Retreat for Therapists

The CAV Academy presents the Kauai Retreat for therapists on Kauai, Hawaii from February 13-15 2020. There are 3 days of workshops exploring the practice of Couples Therapy including one full day intensive with Terry Real. Sign up here!

In the episode today, Dr. Marni Feuerman talks about why couples therapists make the best individual therapists. We discuss how important relationships are in everyone's lives even those who are single. We also talk about using dating apps, being a respectful dater, and what the dating scene looks like these days.

Dr. Marni Feuerman is a licensed psychotherapist in private practice in South Florida. She is a nationally recognized relationship and marriage expert with specialized training in couples' therapy.

Dr. Marni is a frequently quoted expert in the media and recently released a self-help book for women who struggle with repeated unhealthy relationship patterns titled, Ghosted & Breadcrumbed: Stop Falling for Unavailable Men and Get Smart about Healthy Relationships. Visit her official author website at DrMarniOnline.com.

This episode is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.  Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, ASWB, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to Feeding America.

Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code COUCH to get an additional 10% off.  They have a number of free podcast CE courses, too, including a CE interview with Dr. Julie Gottman.  Check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

This is the third Bonus Business episode in a series that is release the first Thursday of each month.

Being in Private Practice can be lonely and therapists tend to be introverts to begin with. In this episode Shane talks with Amber Hawley about how therapists can build their business community. Therapists need to do a better job of making their businesses a priority and having a business bestie (or besties) can help.

Amber Hawley is the co-host, along with Maelisa Hall, of the podcast, My Biz Bestie. She is also the owner of a group practice, licensed marriage and family therapist, business coach, ENFT, mom of three kids and avid coffee drinker.

My Biz Bestie is a podcast focused on sharing ways of connecting with other female entrepreneurs, making the most of networking, discussing helpful biz resources and having fun while being in business.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy and a bonus episode the first Thursday of each month about the business of private practice.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes!

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Resources

Visit Amber’s personal website at www.amberhawley.com

Visit Amber's practice website at www.fremontcounselingservices.com

Check out the podcast website for MyBizBestie

Check out the site for online resources for couples, couplesfix

Maelisa Hall's site for paperwork support for mental health professionals QAprep

Books

Get Rich Lucky Bitch by Denise Duffield-Thomas

The next cohort of the Couples Therapist Business Mastermind starts in January. Learn more here.

In this episode Shane talks to bestselling author, Amy Morin, about her new book, The 13 Things Mentally Strong Couples Don't Do. Shane was honored to be one of the many relationship experts who contributed to the book.

Amy is the author of 6 books including:

13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do
13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do
13 Things Mentally Strong Women Don’t Do
13 Things Strong Kids Do
13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do Workbook
13 Things Mentally Strong Couples Don’t Do

Find out more about her and check out her podcast at amymorinlcsw.com.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. I'm Shane Birkel and my goal is to bring you interviews with experts in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Learn more about the Couples Therapist Business Mastermind.

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this episode, Shane talks with Dr. Rachel Glik about her brand-new book, A Soulful Marriage. Rachel is a licensed professional counselor who has counseled individuals, couples, and families in private practice for over 30 years. In A Soulful Marriage, she breaks down how to heal your relationship with responsibility, growth, priority, and purpose. Hear the seemingly out-of-body experiences that can happen in a therapy room, why conflict & friction can be a good thing in a relationship, the 4 pillars of a soulful marriage, how to focus on listening & develop good communication in a relationship, and how to prioritize your partner - even after you’ve had kids.

To learn more about Dr. Rachel Glik and check out A Soulful Marriage, visit:

DrRachelGlik.com

A Soulful Marriage on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and more

This episode explores fundamental questions like why do we fall in love, why do couples fight and how can couples work through conflict? Harville Hendrix has been on the forefront of teaching about relationships for decades. He is the founder of the couples therapy model called Imago Couples Therapy.

Harville Hendrix Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt Ph.D. are internationally-respected couple's therapists, educators, speakers, and New York Times bestselling authors. Together, they have written over 10 books with more than 4 million copies sold, including the timeless classic, Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples. In addition, Harville has appeared on the Oprah Winfrey television program 17 times.

Couples retreats and intensives are getting more and more popular and for good reason. It is a very good way of making a lot of progress in a short amount of time. 

In this episode, Rachel Zamore and I talk all about retreats. We cover the difference between an educational couples experience with a group of couples vs. a private couples retreat vs. an intensive. We also talk about the various options like discernment retreats, affair repair retreats and repair and renewal retreats. 

Rachel Zamore is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and offers compassionate, integrative counseling and relationship coaching for couples and individuals.  Rachel’s work is informed by her deep commitment to mindfulness, to loving presence, and to nurturing the wholeness and unique gifts of each person and relationship.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Visit Rachel's practice website at innerwell.org.

Visit Rachel's site for therapists at relationshipcrossroads.com

We often have clients who are shut down emotionally and don't understand why. It is difficult for them to access their emotions. Most of the time this is due to living in a family where emotional expression either wasn't modeled or encouraged, or  where it was actively shut down. This emotional neglect is abusive and shaming to children, but most people think that it was just "normal" which can be part of what makes it so difficult to work with.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Today's Sponsor

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this episode, Shane talks with Dr. Mark Karris about his new book, Beyond Fairy Tales. Mark is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) with plenty of experience working with youth, families, couples, and individuals. Beyond Fairy Tales is all about helping couples find clarity, do the work, and build a lasting relationship. Hear his thoughts on Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), the role of research in couples therapy, dispelling myths about relationships, common types of attachment styles, and how to move from blame-based perspectives to mutual understanding.

To learn more about Dr. Mark Karris and check out Beyond Fairy Tales, visit:

MarkGregoryKarris.com

Beyond Fairy Tales on Amazon

Relationship Wisdom and Religious Trauma Recovery YouTube Channel

In this episode, Jasmine Foulkes talks about her journey in becoming a therapist and what has been helpful for her in her work with couples. She has a talent for connecting with couples and uses emotionally focused therapy as the primary model that she works from.

Jasmine is a therapist in Nottingham, England. Using EFT, she helps couples have greater insight, raise self-awareness, and improve communication. She encourages and ability for couples to reach out when they feel distress.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out Jasmine's website at jfoulkescounseling.com

Today's Sponsor

Brighter Vision

Brighter Vision makes amazing websites for therapists. Go to www.brightervision.com/try/couples/ to get one month free off your Brighter Vision subscription. Let Brighter Vision help you build the practice of your dreams.

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

In this episode, Shane talks with Hilary Waller about pregnancy, parenthood, and relationships. Hilary is a psychotherapist who supports new parents as they navigate pregnancy and parenthood. Hear the best way to support couples who are new parents, what to recommend for people who just found out they’re pregnant, why community plays such a big role, how often parents should check in with each other, and the most challenging cases she’s worked on. 

To learn more about Hilary and her books - Dropping the Baby and Other Scary Thoughts and The Perinatal Patient - visit:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/hilary-waller-fort-washington-pa/1251531

https://www.amazon.com/Dropping-Baby-Other-Scary-Thoughts/dp/0367223902

https://www.amazon.com/Perinatal-Patient-Compassionate-Postpartum-Depression/dp/1683736567

One of the main preconditions that is often listed for doing couples therapy is an active addiction. It is hard for couples to get closer in there relationship when problematic drug or alcohol use is present. 

In this episode Dr. Robert Navarra discusses the difference between addiction and problematic drug use and how to guide couples to make a plan when they are living with the impact of this. 

Dr. Robert Navarra is a clinician, researcher, and author specializing in couple recovery. He has created “Roadmap for the Journey: A Path for Couples in Addiction Recovery”, and “Couples and Addiction Recovery: A Gottman Approach for Therapists, Counselors, and Addiction Professionals”.

Find out more about him at https://drrobertnavarra.com/

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

The episode this week is being sponsored by the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

This is the seventh in a series of ten episodes that are about inspiration and hope during this time of Covid-19. Most of the interviewees are therapists and offer support and perspective for getting through stressful situations.

The episodes were mostly recorded around late March and early April.

In this episode, Elisha and James Travis talk about their experience of getting married during a pandemic and all of the adjustments they had to make for their wedding.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

This episode is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.  Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, ASWB, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to  Feeding America.  And the best part?  Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code COUCH to get an additional 10% off.  They have a number of free podcast CE courses, too, including a CE interview with Dr. Julie Gottman.  Check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com. 

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the 6th edition of the bonus business episodes that are released the first (or second) Thursday of each month. This is a solo episode with Shane Birkel that is all about steps you can take if your practice isn't quite where you want it to be yet.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

This episode is with Dr. Ellyn Bader, the founder of the Developmental Model of Couples Therapy. She has been teaching Couples Therapy since the 80s when everyone told her that no one would want that type of therapy.

We talk all about Differentiation in this conversation which is about each partner expressing their own needs and wants and being able to listen to the other without judgement or defensiveness.

Find out more about Ellyn at couplesinstitute.com

Find out more about the Developmental Model at couplesinstitute.com/developmentalmodel

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

This episode is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.  Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, ASWB, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to  Feeding America.  And the best part?  Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code COUCH to get an additional 10% off.  They have a number of free podcast CE courses, too, including a CE interview with Dr. Julie Gottman.  Check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com. 

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

In this episode, Shane talks with Wendy Behary about narcissism in couples therapy. Wendy is the Bestselling Author of “Disarming the Narcissist” and the Founder and Director of The Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey and The Schema Therapy Institutes of NJ-NYC and DC. Hear how she became interested in the study of narcissism, how to approach narcissism as a therapist, how to use Schema Therapy, whether it’s okay to interrupt your clients, and how to avoid getting triggered.

To learn more about Wendy and check out her book, visit:

DisarmingTheNarcissist.com

This is the first solo episode on the Couples Therapist Couch. Shane Birkel talks about how love changes over time and normalizes how different it might feel at different phases of the relationship. In order to keep love alive with our partners, it takes a lot of work. 

As the New Year approaches it is important for all of us to set relationship goals along with all of the other areas of our lives. 

Thank you all for listening in 2017. There are already lots of great episodes scheduled for 2018. I appreciate all of you!

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes!

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

When working with couples where one partner is a first responder there are specific issues to be aware of that can help make the work in therapy much more beneficial. Whether one works as a law enforcement officer, for the fire department, or as an EMT, there are common themes that can be extremely important for the partner as well as the therapist to understand.

During this interview, Cyndi Doyle goes into great depth about how we can be more aware of and sensitive to specific challenges that first responders and their partners face. Cyndi has a podcast called Code 4 Couples, which is specifically for law enforcement officers and their relationships.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy and a bonus episode the first Thursday of each month about the business of private practice. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes!

Resources

Visit Cyndi's podcast website called Code 4 Couples

Visit Cyndi's practice website at Pecan Branch Counseling

Books mentioned:

A CHiP on my Shoulder by Victoria Newman

I Love a Cop: Revised Edition: What Police Families Need to Know by Ellen Kirschman

Emotional Survival for Law Enforcement: A Guide for Officers and their Families by Kevin Gilmartin

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

When one or both couples are on the Autism Spectrum or label themselves as Aspergers, it can be incredibly helpful to be understanding of particular things that will be helpful for working with these specific couples. In this episode, Grace Myhill talks about particular topics that neurodiverse couples often seek help with.

Here is a paragraph from her website: A couple is neurodiverse when one partner is neurotypical — processes information the way most people do — and the other partner has a different neurological process, as is the case when someone has Asperger’s. This difference between the partners can affect their relationship and that is why it is important to understand that neurology matters when working on the couple’s issues.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Grace Myhill is the Director of Couple's and Partner’s Services, Asperger / Autism Network (AANE). She facilitates many Groups and Workshops for couples as well as therapists. She is a presenter at workshops for spouses and professionals on the topic of Asperger’s and you can find articles on her website: gracemyhill.com.

Here is the link to sign up for the course on working with neurodiverse couples.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes. See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Today's Sponsor

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

When it comes to sex in our society there is actually very little that has been written on it historically, particularly about female sexuality. At the same time it is one of the topics that people have the most interest in and influences so many of the decisions in our lives. 

In this episode, Dr. Emily Nagoski talks about desire, context, dual control model, responsive desire, and so much more. Emily is the author of the book, Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life.

You can also go to emilynagoski.com to find out more

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Today's Sponsor

I've partnered with the Psychotherapy Networker to give you this free resource from Esther Perel. She's put together her 125 best "sexuality conversation starters." Get it today at psychotherapynetworker.org/shane

In the field of Couples Therapy there has been very little research on gay couples. Fortunately, more and more is being done all of the time. It is important for Couples Therapists to be educated on this research and also understand how they can communicate in a way that is inclusive.

This episode was with Alapaki Yee and Salvatore Garanzini, the founders of the Gay Couples Institute with locations in San Francisco, San Diego, and New York. They created the institute because they disagreed with many of the things their gay and lesbian friends were being told in their own relationship therapy that were not based on any research.

They both have advanced training in the Gottman method and Salvatore is a Certified Gottman Therapist. They continue to do research and are at the forefront of what is working in couples therapy. Please, please, please read the article below about their work!!!

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday.

Please rate and subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes!

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Resources

Visit The Gay Couples Institute website at gaycouplesinstitute.org

Article:

Gottman Method Couples Therapy Established as Evidence-Based Treatment for Same-Sex Couples

Sex is such an important part of couple relationships and comes up all the time in our work. Dr. Nazanin Moali gives couples therapists tons of insight into how to work with the sex issues that couples bring up during sessions. She is a Psychologist in California and works with couples and people struggling with addiction.

 In her podcast called Sexology, Nazanin untangles the science of sex and pleasure. She helps individuals and couples improve their sex lives and achieve deep and passionate connections with their partners. She is dedicated to educating people around the world to embrace sexuality as an essential aspect of life and eliminate the stigma associated with it.

 The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Resources

Visit Nazanin’s website for her podcast, Sexology

Email Nazanin at drmoali@sexologypodcast.com

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Integrative Behavioral Couples Therapy is the model that Andrew Christensen developed for working with couples along with Neil Jacobson. In his extensive work and research with couples he found that most couples therapy was focused around change. A primary difference in his approach is that it is focused on acceptance first.

 Andrew Christensen has been researching couples for 35 years. He is a distinguished professor at The University of California Las Angeles. He is the author of a multitude of articles and co-author of the book Acceptance and Change in Couples Therapy and Reconcilable Differences.

 The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Resources

Visit Andrew Christensen's website at drandrewchristensen.com

Visit his site for free, online, relationship help at ourrelationship.com

Learn more about Integrative Behavioral Couples Therapy at ibct.psych.ucla.edu

Books mentioned

Reconcilable Differences by Andrew Christensen, PhD, Brian D. Doss, PhD, and Neil S. Jacobson, PhD

Acceptance and Change in Couples Therapy by Neil S. Jacobson and Andrew Christensen

Clinical Handbook of Couples Therapy edited by Alan S. Gurman, Jay L. Lebow, and Douglas K. Snyder

Subscribe for more great episodes to come.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Learn more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

In this episode, Shane talks with Anita Mandley about intergenerational trauma and relationships. Anita is an Integrative Psychotherapist with over 30 years of experience in the field of Mental Health. Hear why she focuses on building relationships first, why intergenerational trauma happens, the things that influence us the most, how to ease into these discussions as a therapist, and the most important thing you can bring to a session.

They discuss the importance for therapists to have some background in the science of psychotherapy in order to best serve their clients. This information is very lacking so far in the world of therapy. They also have a magazine and podcast called the Science of Psychotherapy.

Find out more at scienceofpsychotherapy.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This episode is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.  Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, ASWB, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to  Feeding America.  And the best part?  Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code COUCH to get an additional 10% off.  They have a number of free podcast CE courses, too, including a CE interview with Dr. Julie Gottman.  Check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com. 

This episode is packed full with advice for how to do good couples therapy. Some of the topics covered are the 6 types of confrontation, rethinking 1st sessions, and how to incorporate attachment theory, differentiation, and neuroscience. 

Dr. Ellyn Bader is the co-founder of the Developmental Model for Couples Therapy. She and Dr. Peter Pearson co-wrote the book, In Quest of the Mythical Mate. They were pioneers in the field of couples therapy at the time and have since educated numerous therapists on how to work effectively with couples.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Today's Sponsor

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this solo episode, Shane discusses how shame works and how to talk through shame with your clients. Hear the definition of shame, toxic shame vs. healthy shame, examples of shame between partners and children, how shame relates to compassion, and how to help your clients slow down and process the shame they’re feeling

When we think about relationships, we often minimize how much work it takes to maintain the happy, healthy connection with our partner. We often feel like love should just come naturally or that if we are with the “right” person everything will just fall into place. What good couples therapists know is that being in a satisfying relationship absolutely does take a lot of effort.

In this interview, Dr. Brent Atkinson talks about how there is often too much insight and understanding as the focus in couples therapy and too little focus on repetitive practice. He proposes that we are all programmed in a way that makes it very difficult to get unstuck when unhealthy patterns play out with our partner. We need to learn to recalibrate the way that we interact with our lover in order to be capable of communicating in a different way.

Dr. Brent Atkinson is the principle architect of Pragmatic/Experiential Therapy. This approach translates new knowledge about how the brain processes emotion into practical methods for improving relationships and increasing personal success. He is Professor Emeritus of Marriage and Family Therapy at Northern Illinois University and his ideas have been published in several journals and magazines. He continues to facilitate trainings and has been the keynote speaker at many professional conferences.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy and a bonus episode the first Thursday of each month about the business of private practice. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes!

Resources

Visit Dr. Brent Atkinson's website at The Couples Clinic

Check out several articles by Brent in The Psychotherapy Networker magazine

Train with Brent in Houston this February in this 5 day intensive training for mental health professionals

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

One of the main issues that couples bring up in therapy is disagreements about parenting. The way people parent is often related to the way they were brought up by their own parents. That makes these ideals deeply ingrained and particularly triggering for people. Adding to that is the reality that we are impacting our children in a way that will affect them for the rest of their life.

The amazing teen therapist, Mallory Grimste joins The Couples Therapist Couch today to talk about the children’s experience during these parenting struggles. Mallory has a passion for helping teen girls feel more emotionally confident. Her clients often come to her complaining of anxiety and loneliness. They leave therapy feeling better about their relationship with themselves and others. They are no longer afraid of the uncomfortable and have the skills to create a life they love living.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

If you enjoyed the podcast please take a moment to leave a review on iTunes. Thank you!

Resources

Visit Mallory's website at mallorygrimste.com

Get your FREE downloadable meditation at mallorygrimste.com/couplestherapistcouch

Book Recommendation: Untangled by Lisa Damour about guiding teenage girls into adulthood.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

In the episode this week, Beth Irias from Clearly Clinical talks about feedback informed treatment with couples. She does an amazing job of explaining the importance of documentation and tracking outcomes. One of the things that resonated for me is how it all comes back to being able to serve our clients as effectively as possible by determining what is actually working in therapy.

Find out more about Beth at clearlyclinical.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

This episode is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.  Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, ASWB, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to  Feeding America.  And the best part?  Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code COUCH to get an additional 10% off.  They have a number of free podcast CE courses, too, including a CE interview with Dr. Julie Gottman.  Check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com. 

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

If you work with couples you know that a large percentage of the people seeking help have experienced some sort of infidelity in their relationship. As Couples Therapists, it is important that we know how to work with these couples and help them recover from the infidelity in a meaningful way.

Dr. Talal Alsaleem is an expert at helping couples to do this. He also does training and supervision for other therapists to learn how to more effectively help couples who have been affected by infidelity.

Learn more about Dr. Talal Alsaleem here.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

This episode is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.  Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, ASWB, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to  Feeding America.  And the best part?  Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code COUCH to get an additional 10% off.  They have a number of free podcast CE courses, too, including a CE interview with Dr. Julie Gottman.  Check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com. 

When Terry Real started working with couples in the 90s he found that the conventional wisdom just did not work. Eventually he created his own model for working with couples called Relational Life Terapy. 

He has also published several books including his most recent called US: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship. 

Find out more at terryreal.com

If you want to buy the book and get the Staying in Love workshop free here is the link https://terryreal.com/freecourse/

Live workshop starting June 14 https://summit.terryreal.com/special/

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This episode is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.  Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, ASWB, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to  Feeding America.  And the best part?  Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code COUCH to get an additional 10% off.  They have a number of free podcast CE courses, too, including a CE interview with Dr. Julie Gottman.  Check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com. 

One of the most difficult thing we do as couples therapists is to get both members of a couple to feel like we get them and we want what is best for them. In this episode, EFT trainer and supervisor, Ryan Rana, walks us through the process of attuning to a client's deepest pain or attachment dilemma. Once we show them that we "get it," they will be much more hopeful about the work in couples therapy.

Ryan Rana, PhD, LMFT, LPC is an ICEEFT certified EFT Trainer, Supervisor and Therapist. He is the current President and Founder of the Arkansas EFT Center. He and his wife, Anne, founded The Joshua Center where he currently practices and acts as the Executive Director. Ryan is a sought after public speaker. Ryan also supervises and consults with clinicians and leaders in Arkansas and around the world in online platforms. In his 21 year career he has spoken to groups on over 1,000 occasions.

Find out more at ryanrana.com and arkansaseft.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Today's Sponsor

I've partnered with the Psychotherapy Networker to give you this free resource from Esther Perel. She's put together her 125 best "sexuality conversation starters." Get it today at psychotherapynetworker.org/shane

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this episode, Shane talks with Karen Bonnell about co-parenting. Karen is the Author of The Co-Parenting Handbook and The Stepfamily Handbook, and has culled her knowledge and skills from 40 years as a psychotherapist & psychiatric nurse practitioner to inform her guidance for parents and families in transition. Hear how to do what’s best for the kids, how to cooperate with your co-parent, how to navigate bringing a new partner into the mix, why there’s no such thing as perfect parents, and how to focus on connection before correction. 

To learn more about Karen Bonnell and check out The Co-Parenting Handbook and The Stepfamily Handbook, visit:

KarenSBonnell.com

KarenSBonnell.com/Karens-Books

You can also listen to Karen on Episode 36 & Episode 73 of The Couples Therapist Couch

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

A lot of times, when couples work with therapists who don't have good couples therapy training, they feel like it is hard to make any progress.  In this episode, Shane talks with certified Relational Life Therapist, Dr. Pam Staples about the importance of being direct and speaking the truth to couples with love and respect.

Find out more about Dr. Pam Staples at myrelationallife.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

This episode is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.  Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, ASWB, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to  Feeding America.  And the best part?  Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code COUCH to get an additional 10% off.  They have a number of free podcast CE courses, too, including a CE interview with Dr. Julie Gottman.  Check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com. 

Welcome to the first episode of The Couples Therapist Couch, a podcast by couples therapist, Shane Birkel. This is the podcast for Couples Therapists, Marriage Counselors, and Relationship Coaches to explore the practice of couples therapy. This episode is with expert therapist, Margaret Thompson and explored the Art of Couples Therapy. Subscribe for more great episodes to come.

The episode this week is with Jourdan Virginia Blue. She talks all about the innovative approach to working with couples that she has created. Secret Love Hacks is a 12 week couples therapy approach that any therapist can use with their couples. All the sessions are direct, fast paced, easy to teach and easy to apply.

Find out more at https://moderncouplestherapist.com/

Jourdan Virginia Blue is a full-time couples therapist in Nashville, TN. She leads couples workshops annually, offers all day couples intensive sessions on the weekends, is the creator of a relationship focused podcast, and is the expert in her area for couples work in her private practice!

Find out more at https://jourdanvirginia.com/book

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

The episode this week is being sponsored by the Couples Therapist Inner Circle. Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Never before in history has there been such a movement towards individual happiness. For a long time people have had a strong sense of commitment to their marriage and to their families. That has all changed a lot in the last 70 years. Couples and family therapy has a evolved a lot along with this movement. More than ever before, people feel the crunch between individual happiness and marital commitment. 

For this reason, Dr. Bill Doherty along with his daughter, Elizabeth Doherty Thomas, started the Doherty Relationship Institute. He has written 15 books and regularly teaches and trains therapists and couples. He has served as President of the National Council on Family Relations and received the Lifetime Achievement Award from the American Family Therapy Association. He is also the founder of Discernment Counseling for couples on the brink of divorce.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Visit The dohertyrelationshipinstitute.com

Find out more about the 2020 Kauai CEU Retreat for Therapists

As couples therapists we know how important a good foundation is. Educating couples about relationship skills right from the beginning can set them up for a lifetime of fulfillment. Unfortunately, we are not taught nearly enough about what it takes to have a happy, healthy relationship in our society.

Mayi Dixon helps couples with this by offering premarital counseling in her private practice in Atlanta, Georgia. She works with these couples to learn how to have a fulfilling relationship and gain understanding right from the beginning.

Mayi has worked in the mental health field for over 10 years. Mayi specializes in Marriage and Family Therapy and Play Therapy. She works a lot with adults recovering from infidelity, attachment, adult parent child relationships, and healing from sexual trauma with an emphasis on attachment.

Currently, Mayi host her own relationship show on Blog Talk Radio entitled the “Heart and Soul of Relationships”. Mayi works as an Adjunct Professor at Mercer University and is a doctoral student at Mercer University studying Counselor Education and Supervision. 

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes!

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Check out Mayi's website at premaritalbliss.com

Follow Mayi on instagram at http://www.instagram.com/innovcounseling

Follow Mayi on facebook at http://www.facebook.com/innovcounseling

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this episode, Shane talks with Emily Nagoski, PhD about sex & science. Emily is a Sex Educator & Researcher and New York Times Bestselling Author of Come As You Are and other books on sex. Hear why there needs to be more sexuality education out there, the different forms of desire, how the sexual accelerator & brake work, how to bring up sex with your clients, and the most surprising findings from Emily’s research.

To learn more about Emily Nagoski, PhD, visit:

EmilyNagoski.com

Come As You Are Book

Come Together Book

Burnout Book

Feminist Survival Project Podcast

There is a growing movement of therapists who are using various social media platforms to connect with the people who need them. In this incredible interview with Silvy Khoucasian, we talk all about using Instagram in order to market your private practice. This is the second bonus business episode for the purpose of helping therapists grow their private practices.

Silvy has been able to grow her Instagram following to over 16,000 followers in under a year. Because of this, she has a way to provide value to people to help them in their relationships. Potential clients have the opportunity to get to know her before deciding to work with her. She has tons of amazing tips for listeners to be able to grown their reach by building an Instagram following.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy and a bonus episode the first Thursday of each month about the business of private practice. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes!

Resources

Visit Silvy's website at silvykhoucasian.com

Follow Silvy on Instagram at silvykhoucasian

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

In this episode of The Couples Therapist Couch, Hedy Schleifer and Shane go deeper into the ideas created by Hedy in her method of working with couples called Encounter-Centered Couples Therapy.

She talks about visiting each other's neighborhoods and unraveling the survival knot. The way that Hedy works with couples is deep and transformative and leads them into much greater intimacy with one another.

Hedy Schleifer has been a therapist for decades and has a wealth of experience educating, training, and presenting to other therapists. Find out more about her and her model, and her trainings at hedyyumi.com.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Click here to learn more about The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

In this episode Dr. Stan Tatkin talks about the importance of having a "we" or "us" mindset in our relationships. He also talks about some common relationship conflicts people face in their relationships and how to work through them.

This is exactly what his new book is about, In Each Other's Care.

Find out more about Dr. Stan Tatkin at https://www.thepactinstitute.com/

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. I'm Shane Birkel and my goal is to bring you interviews with experts in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Learn more about joining the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this episode, Shane talks with La Shanda Sugg about empowerment from trauma. La Shanda is the Founder & Chief Love Officer of Labors of Love Counseling and Consulting. As a therapist, trainer, and coach, she is gifted with the art of translating complex concepts and making them relatable and easy to understand. Hear her formula for working with couples, how to move your clients into compassion for themselves & others, how to renarrate their story, what we can learn from our inner child aka little, and how to help clients live in their full selves - not just their thoughts.

To learn more about La Shanda Sugg and check out Labors of Love Counseling and Consulting and The Labors of Love Podcast, visit:

TheLaborsOfLove.com

The Labors of Love Podcast

Labors of Love Counseling and Consulting, LLC YouTube

Instagram @LaborsOfLove513

Artist Elle Marie

50 years ago men and women were more likely to know what each of their different roles were and feel competent to fulfill their partner in the relationship. In the last few decades women have become more empowered in their careers and men have become more involved at home. This has been a positive evolution for humans, but has led to a lot of stress on relationships.

John Gray is the author of the most well-known and trusted relationship book of all time, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. USA Today listed his book as one of the top 10 most influential books of the last quarter century. In hardcover, it was the #1 bestselling book of the 1990s. Dr. Gray’s books are translated into approximately 45 languages in more than 100 countries and continues to be a bestseller.

Dr. Gray has written over 20 books. His most recent book is Beyond Mars and Venus. His Mars/Venus book series has forever changed the way men and women view their relationships.

John helps men and women better understand and respect their differences in both personal and professional relationships. His approach combines specific communication techniques with healthy, nutritional choices that create the brain and body chemistry for lasting health, happiness and romance.

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

In this episode, Cyndi Darnell talks about how we need to change the way we talk about sex, gender, pleasure, and power. We also discuss some of the mistakes that therapists make when talking about sex with their clients. 

To find out more about Cyndi Darnell visit cyndidarnell.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This episode is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.  Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, ASWB, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to  Feeding America.  And the best part?  Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code COUCH to get an additional 10% off.  They have a number of free podcast CE courses, too, including a CE interview with Dr. Julie Gottman.  Check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com. 

When it comes to making money in private practice, Joe Sanok is on the forefront of leading therapists to reach their potential. In this episode he talks about the risk involved in having a safe, secure 9-5 job, focusing on a niche, and making more money in your private practice.

Joe is the host of The Practice of the Practice podcast and has a website that offers therapists tons of great resources for starting, growing and leveling up their practices. Joe is also a consultant who works with therapists to help them be successful in business and make more money.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Resources

Visit Joe Sanok's website for therapists at practiceofthepractice.com

Check out Joe's own group practice site at mentalwellnesscounseling.com

Sign up for the 28 step checklist practiceofthepractice/start

Sign up for the World Changers Challenge at practiceofthepractice/challenge

Listen to Joe's podcast called the Practice of the Practice. You can find on iTunes, Stitcher, or Googleplay.

Books mentioned

The Scream Free Marriage by Hal Edward Runkel and Jenny Runkel

Subscribe for more great episodes to come.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

In this episode Shane interview Lisa Ferentz, who is an expert on trauma and has trained and educated hundreds of therapists on how to work with trauma.

She talks about how necessary coping strategies evolve in childhood in response to not having a secure attachment and how these strategies impact adult relationships.

We talked about what people can do in the present when these parts of themselves get triggered. Lisa also touches on sexual abuse survivors and the experience of trying to be sexual in adult relationships. 

Lisa is a recognized expert in the strengths-based, depathologized treatment of trauma and has been in private practice for 32 years. She presents workshops and keynote addresses nationally and internationally, and is a clinical consultant to practitioners and mental health agencies in the United States, Canada, and the UK.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Visit Lisa's website for more information

Check out Lisa's most recent book, Finding your Ruby Slippers: Transformative Life Lessons from the Therapist's Couch

After years of studying couples, neuroscience, and attachment, Dr. Stan Tatkin knows what is necessary for a deep, enduring relationship. In this episode we talk all about those factors and also where couples get off track. 

Stan is the founder of the PACT institute which stands for the Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy. He is one of the leading trainers in the world of couples therapy and offers an extensive certification program in this model. Pact has a reputation for effectively treating the most difficult couples.

Click the link to check out the previous interview with Stan in episode #35.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Visit Stan's website at stantatkin.com

Also check out thepactinstitute.com

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

In this episode, Shane talks with John Gray about Beyond Mars and Venus and what he’s been up to since his last time on The Couples Therapist Couch. John is one of the most well-known relationship experts of the past 40 years and also wrote the iconic bestseller, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. Hear how to keep your libido at any age, why partners lose interest in sex, how to keep that spark as a married couple, why grief is actually addictive, and what he learned from his wife’s passing.

To learn more about John and his coaching, visit MarsVenusCoaching.com

Check out John’s book, “Beyond Mars and Venus”

You can also listen to John on Episode 43 of The Couples Therapist Couch: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/blog/043-beyond-mars-and-venus-with-john-gray

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

In our society, it is modeled from a very young age to suppress our emotional experience. This is traumatic for children in particular and for humans in general. 

Somatic experiencing is a type of therapy which helps people to become more embodied and move into acceptance of the emotions they are experiencing. 

Dr. Abi Blakeslee, SEP, CMT, MFT, Ph.D., integrates Somatic Experiencing with clinical research, the psychobiological principles of attachment, psychodynamic therapy, and somatic bodywork in her practice and teaching. She has conducted original research on the role of implicit memory in Somatic Experiencing with a committee that included Dr. Daniel Siegel.

Find out more at abiblakeslee.com

For practicioners at traumahealing.org

Information on the relationship repair workshop

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Using psychodrama in therapy has the capability to help people unlock neural pathways in ways that they wouldn't otherwise be able to with typical talk therapy. This episode explores that process as well as goes through several examples of how to use psychodrama with couples.

Walter Logeman is a therapist in Christchurch, New Zealand who specializes in working with couples. He is a supervisor, trainer, and qualified Imago therapist. He conducts workshops for therapists on how to use psychodrama with their couples. 

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Visit Walter's website

There are specific things for therapists to think about when working with a couple who has been impacted by autism. It could be a child of the couple or one of the partners who is on the spectrum, but whatever the case, there is a lot to consider. 

This conversation with Janeen Herskovitz sheds light on many of those concepts for therapists to keep in mind. 

Janeen is a Mental Health Counselor in private practice in North Florida. She loves helping autism spectrum families live happier more peaceful lives.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes!

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Resources

Visit Janeen's podcast website at autismblueprint.com

Visit Janeen's practice website at puzzlepeacecounseling.com

Everyone knows someone who has been impacted by infidelity. It is such a prevalent reality in our society, yet there is still so much taboo and limited understanding in the way that we talk about it. There tends to be a lot of shame and judgement involved which can make it even more difficult for couples to work through it.

In this interview with Terri DiMatteo we talk about how to help couples affected by infidelity and betrayal. We go into detail about how to guide couples to have a different perspective and learn to trust and depend on each other again. 

Terri DiMatteo is a Licensed Professional Counselor in New Jersey and the founder of Open Door Therapy. She spent many years as an Early Childhood Specialist where she learned about the work of John Bowlby and Attachment Theory. She brings that understanding into her work with couples. She specializes in helping couples cope with infidelity. 

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes!

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Check out Terri's practice website at opendoortherapy.net

Check out Terri's blog loveBONDS

Here is a link to her podcast on iTunes. It is called Love Bonds

When couples come for therapy they are usually aware of anger, frustration, and lack of connection. As humans we are very good at figuring out who to blame our feelings on instead of communicating with vulnerability. Emotionally Focused therapy helps people to connect with themselves and their more authentic emotions. When people tap into their feelings of sadness, fear, and hurt and communicate those from a place of vulnerability, they are more likely to be able to be heard and connect with each other.

Dr. Rebecca Jorgensen is a trainer and supervisor for Emotionally Focused therapy. She works with a lot of therapists to help them grow in their ability to do good therapy with couples. She has a facebook group (link below) where you can learn more about the practice of EFT. She also has trainings on her website.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Click here to join the Emotionally Focused Therapy Facebook Group

Check out Becca's website at rebeccajorgensen.com

As therapists we get lots of training and do an amazing job of serving our clients in therapy. What most of us don't learn and need help on is how to build, run, and grow a great business. Whether you have clients coming in the door, willing to pay your full fee might have little to do with how effective you are as a therapist. There is a lot that most of us can do to improve our marketing, presence on social media, and networking with our communities.

Talking about all of this today is Allison Puryear from Abundance Practice Builders. Allison is passionate about helping therapists grow the practice of their dreams. She knows what it's like to love the work as a therapist, but not feel like you can even survive on what you are making. It is her mission to empower therapists to do the work they love AND make good money doing it. 

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Check out Allison's website at abundancepracticebuilding.com

Join the Abundance Practice Builders Facebook Group

Learn more about the AbunDance Party membership site

Many people in our society have a belief that conflict is always a bad thing and should be avoided at all costs. In the interview today we unravel this myth about conflict and explore how it is not only helpful to relationships, but also essential. That is not to say it is always a good thing and it is very important to understand how we are approaching conflict in our relationships.

Not only are CrisMarie Campbell and Susan Clarke experts at this and have literally written the book. They are also well practiced in the benefits of conflict in their marriage to each other.

CrisMarie Campbell and Susan Clarke are the founders of Thrive!—a coaching and consulting firm that specializes in helping individuals, leaders, teams and entire companies learn how to deal with differences to ignite creativity and innovation. They have a proven, step-by-step process for making teams great—a process they’ve honed working with hundreds of leaders and their teams for over 25 years. 

See their TedX talk called Conflict - Use it Don't Defuse it

Get their book called The Beauty of Conflict for Couples 

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Today's Sponsor

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

In talking about factors that destroy relationships, Dr. Pat Love speaks with such depth and wisdom about all the things that are required to have a secure, healthy relationship.

She talks about emotional security, attachment, systems theory, the relational set up, being flexible and spontaneous and so much more that we often take for granted in our relationships.

Dr. Pat Love is known for her warmth, humor, and practical, research-based wisdom. Her blog posts, YouTube clips, books, trainings, workshops, and online courses have made her a popular go-to relationship consultant. Her work has been featured on TV, in cyberspace, and popular magazines, but she’s also a distinguished professor, licensed marriage and family therapist, and long-standing clinical member and approved supervisor in American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy.

Dr. Love (yes that is her real surname) has authored/co-authored six books, has written numerous professional publications, and has developed multiple training programs including Love Education™. Her work literally has taken her around the world to help people understand and improve their relationships.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Today's Sponsor

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

Welcome to the third episode of The Couples Therapist Couch, a podcast by couples therapist, Shane Birkel. This is the podcast for Couples Therapists, Marriage Counselors, and Relationship Coaches to explored the practice of couples therapy. In this episode Shane interviews expert, Kerry Lusignan. Subscribe for more great content!

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy. This report compares Emotionally Focused Therapy, Relational Life Therapy, The Developmental Model, The Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy, IMAGO, Gottman, and Internal Family Systems.

The episode today discusses the 5 losing strategies and also 5 winning strategies that couples can use in order to stop feeling stuck. Shane Birkel also gets into how to use the feedback wheel which is a valuable resource for helping couples communicate.

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this episode, Shane talks with Dr. Pat Love about The 5 Forces Destroying Your Relationship. Pat is an acclaimed therapist, speaker, and author of several books who has been a clinical practitioner of marriage and family therapy for over 40 years. Hear what’s important when selecting a mate, why true love takes time, how to help your clients when their emotions get flooded, how to navigate financial stress, and why fairness is so crucial to the success of a relationship.

To learn more about Dr. Pat Love, visit:

FlourishTogether.com

Pat’s books on Amazon

Pat’s LinkedIn

In this episode, Dr. James Hawkins and I explore therapist's process of growing their ability to implement the EFT model specifically. We also talked a lot about self of therapist in the room and how we have the ability to have a big impact on society.

Dr. James Hawkins is an Emotionally Focused Therapist and trainer. You can find out more about him at dochawklpc.com and @dochawklpc on social media. He has recently started 2 podcasts called the Leading Edge and the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy. 

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Today's Sponsor

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Because of the way that men and women are socialized differently, there are particular challenges that men face when it comes to relationships. For this reason, Quentin Hafner wrote a book that provides a clear and actionable roadmap for becoming a successful husband.

The book, Black Belt Husband, outlines twelve character traits necessary to be a great husband, man and partner. Quentin Hafner is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Orange County, California, who works with men and couples in his practice. 

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Check out Quentin's website at quentinhafner.com

Get a copy of Quentin's book, Black Belt Husband

In this episode, Ari Tuckman describes how he often sees clients where what is being defined as "problematic behavior" is actually due to undiagnosed ADHD. Ari gives us a lot of information about how to work with these clients and how to help them feel more connected.

Ari is an expert at working with ADHD, relationships and is also a sex therapist. He has written 4 books and has a podcast about ADHD called More Attention, Less Deficit.

Books:

• ADHD After Dark: Better Sex Life, Better Relationship (August 2019)
• Understand Your Brain, Get More Done: The ADHD Executive Functions Workbook
• More Attention, Less Deficit: Success Strategies for Adults with ADHD
• Integrative Treatment for Adult ADHD: A Practical, Easy-to-Use Guide for Clinicians

Find out more at adultadhdbook.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Today's Sponsor

The Kauai Retreat for Therapists

The CAV Academy presents the Kauai Retreat for therapists on Kauai, Hawaii from February 13-15 2020. There are 3 days of workshops exploring the practice of Couples Therapy including one full day intensive with Terry Real. Sign up here!

In this episode, Dr. Sue Johnson talks about the beginning of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy and the lack of options for Couples Therapists to get training at the time. 

Dr. Sue Johnson is an author, clinical psychologist, researcher, professor, popular presenter and speaker and a leading innovator in the field of couple therapy and adult attachment.

Sue is the primary developer of Emotionally Focused Couples and Family Therapy (EFT), which has demonstrated its effectiveness in over 30 years of peer-reviewed clinical research. She is founding Director of the International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT).

Find out more about Sue at drsuejohnson.com

Find out more about EFT trainings at iceeft.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Today's Sponsor

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

Because of the history of power and influence in our world, we are socialized in ways that impact our relationships in a huge way. If we aren't aware of these realities, we might behave in inappropriate or boundary violating ways that are offensive to the people we care about the most.

Dr. David Wexler talks about this topic and what we can do to live in a way that is more relational for everyone. David Wexler has been teaching and writing about relationships and men's issues for decades. He is currently working on a new book about Counseling in the #Metoo Era.

Find out more about David at davidwexlerphd.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Today's Sponsor

I've partnered with the Psychotherapy Networker to give you this free resource from Esther Perel. She's put together her 125 best "sexuality conversation starters." Get it today at psychotherapynetworker.org/shane

When we are feeling stress with our partner, in our relationships, it is often due to the fact that we are not able to stay present in the moment. In this episode, Melissa Sutor, MS, MS, talks all about the benefits of mindfulness for relationships and for a healthy life.

Melissa Sutor is a mindfulness teacher and coach, mental health counselor, and founder of Dragonfly Healing Center nonprofit organization. She leads wellness retreats to help clients reduce stress and prevent burnout. Find out more about her at melissasutor.com.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

The episode this week is being sponsored by the Couples Therapist Inner Circle. Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Learn more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

In this episode, Shane talks with Heawon Hake about the Collective Consciousness, Intergenerational Wisdom, Spirituality, and PTSD. Heawon is a Social Worker, Psychotherapist, and the Author of “Daughter of Korean Freud.” Hear Heawon’s personal story with abuse and how she got interested in psychotherapy, how PTSD ties to the unconscious, how to feel more empowered, how she approaches suicide and death, and the fine line between blaming the victim vs. feeling a sense of empowerment about our own life.

For more about Heawon, visit KoreanAmericanPsychotherapist.com

Check out Heawon’s book list at KoreanAmericanPsychotherapist.com/BookList

Learn more about the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Learn more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

In this episode, Shane talks with Leanne Campbell about all things Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and trauma. Leanne is a Speaker, Writer, and EFT Trainer who co-authored the book “A Primer for Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy (EFIT)” with Sue Johnson. Hear the benefits of EFT, why isolation is traumatizing, how to gather information before diving into experiences, the CARE model to focus on in initial sessions, and how to be careful when working with trauma.

To learn more about Leanne and check out her books, visit DrLeanneCampbell.com

Check out Leanne’s previous episode on The Couples Therapist Couch: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/blog/079-eft-and-attachment-injuries-with-leanne-campbell-and-david-fairweather

Dr. Peggy Kleinplatz is a Professor in the Faculty of Medicine and Director of Sex and Couples Therapy at the University of Ottawa, Canada. She was awarded the Prix d’Excellence in 2000 for her teaching of Human Sexuality. She is a Certified Sex Therapist and Educator. She is Director of the Optimal Sexual Experiences Research Team of the University of Ottawa and has a particular interest in sexual health in the elderly, disabled and marginalized populations.

Get a copy of the new book, Magnificent Sex

Please see optimalsexualexperiences.com. 

This episode is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.  Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, ASWB, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to Feeding America.

Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code COUCH to get an additional 10% off.  They have a number of free podcast CE courses, too, including a CE interview with Dr. Julie Gottman.  Check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

In our society, we do a terrible job of preparing new parents for what is to come in their relationship with each other. 92% of parents report increased disagreements after the baby is born. Adding to the huge amount of stress experienced in the transition to parenthood is the perception that we are not good enough or that we are doing something wrong. 

Elly Taylor has made it her mission to help couples better prepare for the journey of becoming their new version of "us". She has broken it down into 8 steps for families to understand in order to be able to thrive.

Elly Taylor is an Australian relationship counsellor, independent parenthood researcher and author of the award winning book Becoming Us. Elly is the founder of Becoming Us, an organisation created to teach helping professionals her research and evidence-based approach to the transition into parenthood and to support mothers, fathers, partners and families to thrive.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes!

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Check out Elly's website at ellytaylor.com

Buy Elly's book: Becoming Us: 8 Steps to Grow a Family that Thrives

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

In this episode, Shane talks with Kathryn Rheem about trauma in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). Kathryn is the Director of The Washington Baltimore Center for EFT. Hear how she got over her Impostor Syndrome, how our nervous system is impacted by trauma, how to teach people to be able to receive love, how to connect with someone who’s angry and defensive, and the power of empathy. 

To learn more about Kathryn, visit:

WashingtonBaltimoreCenterForEFT.com

RheemClark.com

TheEFTCafe.com

For many people, one of the most difficult times in their life can be going through a breakup or divorce or experiencing some other brokenness in their relationship. Because we are wired to connect as humans, going through this heartbreak can feel like a significant trauma. It is important to have the tools, support and resources to go through this type of experience.

Chautè Thompson talks all about how to recover from these types of situations in the episode today. She wrote a book called Brand New Me: The Pursuit of Wholeness. Chautè Thompson, LMHC is a licensed clinician, speaker, author, educator, consultant and certified family mediator. She offers life changing strategies, transformational empowerment, personal development and mental/emotional health messages to schools, churches, conferences, workshops and seminars.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Find out more about Chautè at brandnewmejourney.com

Visit Chautè's practice website at inspirehopehealthhealing.com

Check out Chautè's book at Brand New Me: The Pursuit of Wholeness

Today's Sponsor

Brighter Vision

Brighter Vision makes amazing websites for therapists. Go to www.brightervision.com/try/couples/ to get one month free off your Brighter Vision subscription. Let Brighter Vision help you build the practice of your dreams.

The episode this week is being sponsored by the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

In this episode, Liz Phillips gives an overview of Internal Family Systems (IFS), a therapy model that was developed by Dick Schwartz. 

She also talks about Intimacy From the Inside Out (IFIO) which is a model of couples therapy that comes from IFS. In IFIO therapy, each member of the couple is invited into a process, which leads to a self compassionate, and secure relationship with him or herself.

Find out more about liz at lizphillipstherapy.ca

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

The episode this week is being sponsored by the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

In this solo episode, Shane breaks down how to work with high intensity after an affair. This topic stems from a question that came up in the Couples Therapist Inner Circle. Hear how to help clients recover after an affair, the emotions both partners are going through, how long it typically takes people to recover from an affair, how to get someone to stop having affairs, and how to help a client avoid getting into a shame spiral.

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

Show notes to come...

This conversation explores the debate between differentiation and attachment. This episode is with the authors of an article entitled Attachment vs. Differentiation and in that article they use Emotionally Focused Therapy (Sue Johnson) vs. Crucible Therapy (David Schnarch) to compare these two models. We talk about whether these two developmental theories are compatible and whether or not it is effective for a therapist to try to integrate aspects of them at the same time, in our work with couples.

Nathan Hardy, PhD is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and professor at Oklahoma State University.

Adam Fisher, PhD is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and professor at Brigham Young University.

Check out their article here: Attachment vs. Differentiation

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

In this episode, Shane talks with Tina and Michael LeBlanc about their book, The 10 Habits of Happy Couples. Tina and Michael are the wife-husband duo behind Better Yourself 365, where they work exclusively with couples. Hear how they decided to marry each other and work together, their new approach to counseling, the importance of bettering yourself first as an individual, how much they work on their own relationship, and why couples often have shame in seeking therapy. 

For more about Better Yourself 365, visit BetterYourself365.com

GET A FREE chapter from their book - The 10 Habits of Happy Couples: https://betteryourself365.lpages.co/the-10-habits-of-happy-couples/

Get their TAKING CHARGE OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP digital course for couples at 34% off! https://betteryourself365.lpages.co/taking-charge-course-special-deal-for-podcast-listeners/

FOR THERAPISTS - If you want to preview their course for couples for free before referring it to clients, just contact Tina by email to request a FREE CODE: Tina@BetterYourself365.com

There is a growing reality of non-traditional couples who are coming in for relationship therapy. People who are in polyamorous relationships, want to open up their relationship or are among a number of other sexually marginalized populations are looking for guidance. As therapists we might not always know how to work with these types of relationships, but it is our responsibility to be as compassionate, understanding, and as open as possible.

In this episode Martha Kauppi talks about how we all have particular biases that we bring to our work with clients and the importance of being aware of these and open to learning more about relationships we may not have worked with before.

Martha is the founder of the Institute for Relational Intimacy. The Institute is committed to competence working with a full array of sex issues, including sexual health concerns, alternative sexualities, problematic sexual behavior, and LGBTQAI+ related concerns. She also offers training and support to therapists.

Her dream is to debunk myths and prominent cultural beliefs that disrupt intimate connections between partners, and help create a world where it is easy to find a therapist who can work effectively with relational intimacy challenges.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out Martha's website and free course at instituteforrelationalintimacy.com

Today's Sponsor

Brighter Vision

Brighter Vision makes amazing websites for therapists. Go to www.brightervision.com/try/couples/ to get one month free off your Brighter Vision subscription. Let Brighter Vision help you build the practice of your dreams.

Why do we love in the first place? Why do we choose the partners we choose? What happens in the brain when people fall in love? These are all questions that Helen Fisher has spent her career answering. 

Helen E. Fisher, PhD  is a biological anthropologist, and Senior Research Fellow, at The Kinsey Institute, Indiana University. She has written six books on the evolution, biology, and psychology of human sexuality, monogamy, adultery and divorce, gender differences in the brain, the neural chemistry of romantic love and attachment, human biologically-based personality styles, why we fall in love with one person rather than another, hooking up, friends with benefits, living together and other current trends, and the future of relationships-- what she calls: slow love.

Find out more about Helen Fisher at anatomyoflove.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Today's Sponsor

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

Learn more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

In this episode, Shane continues his talk with Patricia Papernow for Part 2 of a 2-part interview on stepfamily relationships. Patricia is widely recognized as one of the world’s foremost experts on “blended families” and received the 2023 award for Distinguished Contribution to Family Therapy from the American Family Therapy Academy. Hear the benefits of authoritative parenting, how to maintain discipline, why it’s important to talk through things as a couple, the reality of parent-child attachment, and the impact of gray divorce.

To learn more about Patricia, visit StepfamilyRelationships.com

Check out Patricia’s books at StepfamilyRelationships.com/Books

In this episode, Dr. Jonice Webb sheds light on this issue and discusses how prevalent the reality of Childhood Emotional Neglect is in our society and the impact it has on people's lives and relationships. 

Dr. Jonice Webb is a recognized psychologist expert with over 25 years of experience, and the author of the best-selling books Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect and Running On Empty No More: Transform Your Relationships With Your Partner, Your Parents & Your Children.

Find out more about Jonice Webb at childhoodemotionalneglect.com

Take the Childhood Emotional Neglect Assessment

Get your copies of Running on Empty and Running on Empty No More

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Today's Sponsor

The episode today is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world. 

Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to the Trevor Project for LGBTQ+ youth suicide prevention. 

Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code SHANE to get an entire year of CE courses for just $40.  They also have a number of free CE courses, too, so check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com.

This episode is with Jill Fischer who is a leading Emotionally Focused supervisor and trainer. She provides listeners with a fantastic overview of EFT as a model and what is necessary for training.

Emotionally Focused Therapy is one of the leading models in the world of couples therapy. We talked about the externship, core skills training, and how your own personal work as a therapist can enhance your ability to go deeper with the couples you work with. 

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Visit Jill's website at positivecouples.com

The reality of supremacy culture and generational trauma continue to show up in our lives in a big way. People often struggle with perfectionism, imposter syndrome, and issues in their relationships and they don't understand why.

Shirani Pathak talks about these topics in the episode today. She has a podcast called Fierce Authenticity and a book of the same name. 

You can find out more about her and explore her podcast and her blog at shiranipathak.com.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

This episode is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.  Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, ASWB, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to  Feeding America.  And the best part?  Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code COUCH to get an additional 10% off.  They have a number of free podcast CE courses, too, including a CE interview with Dr. Julie Gottman.  Check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com. 

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

When working with couples in therapy, it can be easy to get lost in their story and stay focused on the content of what they are talking about. This often feels like a tennis match, watching the ball go back and forth. In the interview this week with Rob Fisher, he talks about how to use experiential techniques in order to help couples slow down, be more present, and tune into what is going on inside them. 

Rob is a certified Hakomi Therapist and Trainer. He teaches couples therapy internationally. He is the publisher of The Couples Psychotherapy Newsletter and the author of a book about experientially oriented couples therapy entitled Experiential Psychotherapy With Couples: A Guide for the Creative Pragmatist.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Visit Rob's website for more information

Here is a link to the Hakomi Institute website

In order to guide couples to greater intimacy it can be helpful to have a framework that is backed up by decades of research. Laura Heck talks with Shane in this episode about the fact that as a therapist, there is no substitute for experience, but having exercises and interventions can be life changing for couples when used properly.

Laura Heck is an LMFT and Certified Gottman Therapist in private practice in Salt Lake City, UT. She is co-founder of forBetter, an action driven online coaching tool for couples that teaches the science of successful relationships through straight talking and exercises.

She co-hosts Marriage Therapy Radio where you can be a fly on the wall while two marriage therapists hash out some of the most common issues couples encounter. She is the co-developer and master trainer for the Gottman Seven Principles Program and consults as a relationship expert for corporations and media outlets.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes!

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Resources

Visit Laura Heck's practice website at www.laurahecktherapy.com

Check out the online coaching tool for couples at www.forbetter.us

Check out Laura's podcast, Marriage Therapy Radio

HIPPA compliant video conferencing mentioned during the show: wecounsel.com

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

In this episode, Shane talks with Dr. Sabrina N'Diaye about peace and healing in couples therapy. Sabrina is a therapist, storyteller, and peacebuilder with over 3 decades of service to the underserved. Hear how to get your clients to slow down and breathe, the role of a couples therapist when it comes to divorce, how to model acceptance, how to look at a marriage in different stages, and when to be direct with your clients.

To check out Sabrina’s book, Big Mama Speaks, visit: BigMamaSpeaks.com

To learn more about Sabrina’s practice, visit: TheHeartNest.com

You can also listen to Sabrina on Episode 172 of The Couples Therapist Couch

In therapy we participate in the conversation with people as they explore the potential for their lives. As a masterful therapist, Lori Gottlieb knows this work, but she is also an expert at something that is a bit different.

She receives letters from people who need help in their lives. She doesn’t talk with them, ask questions, or get to know who they are. Using only the letter each person sends, she crafts a response that sheds light and provides amazingly in-depth insight for her column in the New York Magazine called What Your Therapist Really Thinks.

Lori is a psychotherapist and bestselling author of 4 books, most recently, Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough. In this episode she talks about the process and challenges of writing her column. She is also writing a new book called, Girl Walks Into A Therapy Room.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy and a bonus episode the first Thursday of each month about the business of private practice.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes!

Resources

Visit Lori's website at lorigottlieb.com

Read articles from Lori's column, What Your Therapist Really Thinks

Lori's Books

Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough

I Love You, Nice to Meet You: A Guy and a Girl Give the Lowdown on Coupling Up

Stick Figure: A Diary of My Former Self

Inside the Cult of Kibu: And Other Tales of the Millennial Gold Rush

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

This special episode is part of a 6 video business bonus that you can get for signing up for the Couples Therapist Inner Circle. 

In this episode, Laura Long talks about marketing, niching, websites, and networking. She discusses the importance of thinking about what makes Couples Therapists different and encourages us to think about how we will appear to potential clients. 

Laura is a badass business coach and you can get tons of great information and resources from her website: yourbadasstherapypractice.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Today's Sponsor

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

Kim Ploussard is a Certified Relational Life Therapist and one of the Coaches for the model. Back in episode #62 she talked about the 5 Core Issues and how they impact relationships.

In this episode she goes deeper into the understanding of the 5 Core Issues with regard to children and parenting.

Find out more about Kim at albanymarriagecounseling.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

The episode this week is being sponsored by the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

In this episode, Deirdra Fay talks about the transformational change that is possible when we understand attachment and trauma and are able to do deeper work within ourselves. Deirdre talks about the seven steps to a solid internal world and helps people learn how to become safely embodied.

Deirdra is the Author of Becoming Safely Embodied and Attachment-Based Yoga and Meditation for Trauma Recovery. She is also publishing a new book soon. She does a lot of teaching for therapists and has been inspired by her time living in an Ashram, yoga, mindfulness, IFS, Sensorimotor Therapy and Compassion Focused Therapy.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Find out more about Deirdre at dfay.com

You can also sign up for her free Safe Guide

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Today's Sponsor

The Kauai Retreat for Therapists

The CAV Academy presents the Kauai Retreat for therapists on Kauai, Hawaii from February 13-15 2020. There are 3 days of workshops exploring the practice of Couples Therapy including one full day intensive with Terry Real. Sign up here!

This is the second of a series of ten episodes that are about inspiration and hope during this time of Covid-19. Most of the interviewees are therapists and offer support and perspective for getting through stressful situations.

The episodes were mostly recorded around early April.

Thank you to Selma Selma Bacevac in Jacksonville Florida for taking the time to do the interview.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Interested in learning more about becoming a therapist for Betterhelp? Click here to Try it out today!

Interested in finding a therapist with Betterhelp? Click here to get started!

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.