The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma} (Robyn Gobbel)

"I've been listening to you since the beginning but I'm having such a hard doing the things I'm learning.  What am I doing wrong?"

I have a feeling soooo many of you are nodding your head.  Yup, been there.  Yup, asked that question.

Here's the short answer.

You're doing nothing wrong.

Listen for the long answer (you know I have a long answer!) and also for ideas about what to do next.  What are the steps to take to moving from knowing to doing?

Welcome to Fridays in February Q&As!  I'll be answering one question every Friday in February.

Have a question?  Leave me a voice message over at https://robyngobbel.com/podcast

Look for the box that says "Send me a question!"

Hit the button and record your question right on my website.  Easy peasy!

See you next week!


Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)

eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)

In depth parent course: Parenting after Trauma: Minding the Heart and Brain

CLICK HERE to read about The Club and join the waitlist for the next time we welcome new members

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

****please don't listen to this episode when your child can overhear****

Most parents I know have had the thought “I do not like my kid.”

Parents of kids with big baffling behaviors, lots of dysregulation, and especially histories of attachment or relationship trauma have had that thought more than once.

Then they become paralyzed by the shame of having that thought. More than once.

They tell no one.  Or if they do, it’s with a tone of both shame and horror at themselves. 

In a way, I have found this self-shaming to be more significant in the parents who are drawn to my work. Y’all are parents who are committed to understanding what behavior really is and how to respond by increasing connection, co-regulation and felt-safety.

You’ll say things to me like “I know why my kid is struggling.  I know why they act this way.  It’s awful for me to feel like I don’t like them.  I’m an awful person.”

Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)

eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)

In depth parent course: Parenting after Trauma: Minding the Heart and Brain

CLICK HERE to read about The Club and join the waitlist for the next time we welcome new members

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

"How do I help adoptive parents feel more empathy toward their child's parents so that their relationships can improve?"

I love this question.  Thank you for calling it in, and thanks for even having it.

The answer takes a few twists and turns as I talk about grief, all feelings being welcomed, and believing in everyone's infinite worth.

Listen for the full answer as well as questions we can all ask ourselves to really do a self-inventory- have I created a space where all feelings are welcome?

Link to Kent Hoffman's Infinite Worth Ted Talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9fHCrP8hZM


Welcome to Fridays in February Q&As!  I'll be answering one question every Friday in February.

Have a question?  Leave me a voice message over at https://robyngobbel.com/podcast
Look for the box that says "Send me a question!"
Hit the button and record your question right on my website.  Easy peasy!
See you next week!


Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)

eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)

In depth parent course: Parenting after Trauma: Minding the Heart and Brain

CLICK HERE to read about The Club and join the waitlist for the next time we welcome new members

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

We talk a lot about our kids' owl, watchdog, and possum brain.

But what about ours?

Let's talk about mine. 

How I was almost convinced our moving company was a ponzi scheme plotting to steal all our stuff.

How I grow and strengthen my owl brain.

How my owl brain has been tested in the past couple months as my team and I move The Club. 
The movers did not steal our stuff.  They did do some extremely odd things but that's fine because they moved my stuff across the country.


Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)

eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)

In depth parent course: Parenting after Trauma: Minding the Heart and Brain

CLICK HERE to read about The Club and join the waitlist for the next time we welcome new members

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

"My six-year-old gets stuck when things don't go as planned or the way she wants them to go.  She'll flip her lid and it can take 30 minutes for her to calm down.  Help! What do I do?"

In this Q&A we talk about our x-ray vision goggles, how disappointment can be a tricky feeling, and different ways to help our kids move through distressing moments, like Greg Santucci's "Change the Sensory Channel."

In this episode I mention these previous podcast episodes:

https://robyngobbel.com/notflippingyourlid/

https://robyngobbel.com/againstabehavioralapproach/ with Greg Santucci OTR

Welcome to Fridays in February Q&As!  I'll be answering one question every Friday in February.

Have a question?  Leave me a voice message over at https://robyngobbel.com/podcast

Look for the box that says "Send me a question!"

Hit the button and record your question right on my website.  Easy peasy!

See you next week!

Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
In depth parent course: Parenting after Trauma: Minding the Heart and Brain
CLICK HERE to read about The Club and join the waitlist for the next time we welcome new members

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Today is your lucky day because you get to meet a pretty awesome mom.

A mom who might be a little like you- even if you're a grandma or a dad or a foster parent or a big sister or whoever you are.

A mom who is straight up with us right away that she knows it's very possible that her child will have possibly life-long struggles with regulation. 

And even if that's true, there are still a lot of things she can do to make life easier or better or maybe just less hard.

I hope you love this special episode.

Many many thanks to my special guest :)

Read a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/BehaviorDoesntChange

Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
In depth parent course: Parenting after Trauma: Minding the Heart and Brain
CLICK HERE to read about The Club and join the waitlist for the next time we welcome new members

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

I'm introducing you to one more amazing mom this week (I introduced you to another amazing mom last Sunday! Go check it out!)

This mom has given me the privilege of watching some pretty remarkable transformation happen as she practices being OK with exactly who she is.

And how that matters in her parenting.

I hope you love this special episode.

Many many thanks to my special guest :)

The Club opens periodically to new members- the next time is March 1 - 7, 2022!  See all the details and join us over at https://robyngobbel.com/theclub

Read a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/SelfCompassionForThisMom

Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
In depth parent course: Parenting after Trauma: Minding the Heart and Brain
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

"I experienced post-adoption depression when my son was adopted as a newborn.  Now he has some behaviors that make it hard for me to parent with compassion.  How do we get out of this stuckness?"

This is such a brave and vulnerable and honest question.  Thank you for trusting as well as trusting all my listeners to hold you and your son's pain.

Regular podcast listeners won't be surprised that I start off by talking about self-compassion!  I have some thoughts about the important of everyone processing their grief, as well as how to support this parent's son is expressing authentic and valid feelings without being hurtful.

In this episode, I mention my free ebook on attachment: https://robyngobbel.com/ebook

Welcome to Fridays in February Q&As!  I'll be answering one question every Friday in February (yeah, yeah, I know today it's March!!!).

Even though this Fridays in February series is over, I'm leaving the Q&A voicemail line open!  I'll release these bonus Q&A episodes occasionally, as questions come in!

Have a question?  Leave me a voice message over at https://robyngobbel.com/podcast

Look for the box that says "Send me a question!"

Hit the button and record your question right on my website.  Easy peasy!

See you next week!

Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
In depth parent course: Parenting after Trauma: Minding the Heart and Brain
CLICK HERE to read about The Club and join the waitlist for the next time we welcome new members

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Ever wonder how to apply the concepts of felt-safety and attunement to one of the trickiest parenting experiences ever?  Food and feeding kids with extreme picky eating, food preoccupation, or other feeding-related challenges that feel very stressful in your family?

This is exactly why I invited today's guest to the podcast!

Dr. Katja Rowell is a family physician in Washington State, the author of Conquer Picky Eating for Teens and Adults, Helping Your Child with Extreme Picky Eating, and Love Me, Feed Me.  Dr. Rowell is also the co-founder of Responsive Feeding Pros, an international digital learning platform for professionals working with feeding and eating challenges within a responsive framework.

Responsive Feeding is a feeding model that has been in the academic literature since 2011 and is recommended by American Academy of Pediatrics. 

Dr. Rowell described Responsive Feeding as a model that ultimately helps kids tune into their hunger and fullness cues, while also recognizing and honoring that food is comforting and regulating.  

Responsive Feeding is a model that is both high structure and high nurture, which ultimately allows for a lot of flexibility.  Responsive Feeding prioritizes felt safety; it is never intended to be rigid.  Responsive feeding is about attunement and helping caregivers respond to their child’s cues.

All of this sounds very familiar right?  Attunement, felt-safety, high-structure, high-nurture.

I knew Dr. Rowell would be just the right guest to talk to my audience!

Dr. Rowell will be a guest in The Club in March, teaching a masterclass on Responsive Feeding!  We'd love to have you join us! https://robyngobbel.com/theclub

Read a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/ResponsiveFeeding

Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
In depth parent course: Parenting after Trauma: Minding the Heart and Brain
CLICK HERE to read about The Club and join the waitlist for the next time we welcome new members

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Consequences. Punishments. Limits. Boundaries.

These words don't mean the same thing but we often use them interchangeably.

In this episode, we get clear on what exactly is a consequence versus a punishment versus a boundary.

And how parenting through the lens of regulation, connection, and felt-safety is absolutely not boundary-less or permissive parenting.

It's a way of looking at our kids and asking "What does my child need to be successful?" and then giving them that.

It definitely isn't about making sure our kids are always happy or never frustrated or we always say yes.

It's about changing the lens on how we view their expressions of emotions and behaviors.

And yes- it's about setting boundaries that keep our kids safe and help their brains develop the internalized co-regulation (self-regulation!) they need!

In this episode, I reference a LOT of other episodes.

Has Trauma Informed Become a Behavior Modification Technique?

What’s Regulation Got to do With it

Focus on Arousal not Behavior

Connection can’t not work

We are Always Searching and Yearning for Connection

Felt Safety- what’s that?

Connection or Protection

What Behavior Really Is- free video series masterclass

Parenting after Trauma: Minding the Heart and Brain- online digital course

This episode is a replay of an episode that originally aired on October 19, 2021.

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Dr. Mona Delahooke is an infant and toddler mental health specialist who weaves together the connection between behaviors and the nervous system. In addition to her direct clinical work with families, Dr. Delahooke has dedicated her career to bringing the science of behaviors and the nervous system to educators and parents.

Dr. Delahooke’s third book, Brain Body Parenting: How to Stop Managing Behavior and Start Raising Joyful, Resilient Kids, was released today, March 15, 2022.

In today’s interview with Dr. Delahooke, you’re going to hear about the three things she always takes into consideration when supporting a child with behavioral challenges:

•  the child’s autonomic state
• developmental stage
• individual unique needs

 But more than practical tips, what I’m most excited for you to hear from Dr. Delahooke is how much compassion she has for parents of kids who struggle. 

Read a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/BrainBodyParenting

Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
In depth parent course: Parenting after Trauma: Minding the Heart and Brain
CLICK HERE to read about The Club and join the waitlist for the next time we welcome new members

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

June is allllll about attachment!  We kicked off this special series on attachment last week with my interview with author Bethany Saltman and her memoir "Strange Situation."

Today- we are going back to basics.

Attachment is something that gets a lot of airtime but also, a lot of confusion.  

In today's episode we'll talk about John Bolwby and how he brilliantly noticed that attachment is about physical (and emotional) survival.

We explore the difference between safe haven and secure base, and about how attachment is both about connection and autonomy.

We look at the three attachment behaviors Bowlby identified:

1. Seek, monitor, and maintain proximity 
2. Use the attachment figure as the secure base
3. Flee to their attachment figure when afraid

Going Back to Basics certainly means highlighting the work of Mary Ainsworth, which ultimately led to The Strange Situation and the attachment classifications we now know as secure and insecure.

I'm a big fan of scaffolding (which you know if you're a member of The Club or you've taken Parenting after Trauma: Minding the Heart and Brain online digital course) so consider this episode an important part of the scaffolding of attachment.  We've got to get clear on the basics before moving on!

Hit subscribe to Parenting after Trauma in your podcast player so you don't miss anything in this monthly focus on attachment!

There’s a lot in this one episode and the whole six-part series!  I made the series into a beautiful eBook so you don’t have to take notes and you can review it as often as you want.  To download the F R E E ebook, click here: https://robyngobbel.com/ebook


Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
In depth parent course: Parenting after Trauma: Minding the Heart and Brain
CLICK HERE to read about The Club and join the waitlist for the next time we welcome new members

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Here we are with the THIRD episode in this monthly focus on attachment!

Today is allllll about secure attachment.   

85% of the time, a child’s attachment experience will parallel the working model of attachment of the principal person caring for her.  ~Eric Hesse

Whoa.  Well, if that's the case, the obviously we have to first talk about attachment in adults and caregivers.

In this episode we look at five characteristics of an adult with secure attachment.

Then we look at some of the characteristics of a child with secure attachment.

THEN we look at the inner working model that develops from secure attachment.

There’s a lot in this one episode and the whole six-part series!  I made the series into a beautiful eBook so you don’t have to take notes and you can review it as often as you want.  To download the F R E E ebook, click here: https://robyngobbel.com/ebook

Hit subscribe to Parenting after Trauma in your podcast player so you don't miss anything in this monthly focus on attachment!  Next week, we'll explore insecure attachment!


Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
In depth parent course: Parenting after Trauma: Minding the Heart and Brain
CLICK HERE to read about The Club and join the waitlist for the next time we welcome new members

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Bethany Saltman is the author of part memoir part biography Strange Situation- A Mother’s Journey into the Science of Attachment.  Bethany is a professional researcher, writer, and longtime Zen student who went searching for what she felt was missing when she was a new mom. 

Like myself, Bethany discovered Dr. Sears’ The Baby Book on attachment parenting when she was pregnant with her now 15-year-old daughter (my son is 15 and almost the exact same age!) and had expectations about what motherhood and parenting was going to look like: a blissful time where she enjoyed the natural awakenings of maternal instinct.

Which did not happen.  

Bethany remembers that she wasn’t patient with her daughter.  She didn’t feel very loving toward her.  And ultimately she felt broken because Dr. Sears had promised in his book that attachment parenting was easy because it ‘feeds on a mother’s natural intuition.’  Bethany stated she was doing her best but also doing a lot of things wrong as a mom- and couldn’t figure out why.   

So she went on a deep-dive journey into exploring the science of attachment, in particular Mary Ainsworth and The Strange Situation.  

Bethany’s exploration into the science of attachment led her to the conclusion that behaviors have actually very little to do with attachment. There isn’t a checklist.  Raising a child with secure attachment isn’t about breastfeeding or co-sleeping. 

It has to do with how you think and feel about your attachments and how this is transmitted from mind to mind, generation to generation.

I can't wait to hear what you think about this interview with Bethany!!!

You can find Bethany on Instagram @Bethany_Saltman or on her website at www.BethanySaltman.com.  Grab her book Strange Situation wherever books are sold but try to get it from your local bookstore ;)

Don't forget to subscribe to Parenting after Trauma with Robyn Gobbel!

Then head over to my website and get the free, 45 minute masterclass What Behavior Really Is and How to Change It at www.RobynGobbel.com/masterclass



Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
In depth parent course: Parenting after Trauma: Minding the Heart and Brain
CLICK HERE to read about The Club and join the waitlist for the next time we welcome new members

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Another episode in the June series on attachment!

Today is all about insecure anxious attachment.

Anxious attachment is in the category of 'organized' attachment- meaning, the infant figures out an organized way to get their attachment needs met in the best way possible.  So smart!

In this episode, we look at 

• The behavior patterns that lead to anxious attachment
• The attachment needs of connection and autonomy, and which one is harder for babies with anxious attachment
• Anxious attachment impact on regulation
• The hope versus the expectation of anxious attachment

There’s a lot in this one episode and the whole six-part series!  I made the series into a beautiful eBook so you don’t have to take notes and you can review it as often as you want.  To download the F R E E ebook, click here: https://robyngobbel.com/ebook

Hit subscribe to Parenting after Trauma in your podcast player so you don't miss anything in this monthly focus on attachment!  In the next episode, we'll explore insecure attachment! 



Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
In depth parent course: Parenting after Trauma: Minding the Heart and Brain
CLICK HERE to read about The Club and join the waitlist for the next time we welcome new members

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Another episode in the June series on attachment!

Today is all about insecure avoidant attachment.

Avoidant attachment is in the category of 'organized' attachment- meaning, the infant figures out an organized way to get their attachment needs met in the best way possible.  So smart!

In this episode, we look at 

• The behavior patterns that lead to avoidant attachment
• The attachment needs of connection and autonomy, and which one is harder for babies with avoidant attachment
• Avoidant attachment impact on regulation
• The hope versus the expectation of avoidant attachment

There’s a lot in this one episode and the whole six-part series!  I made the series into a beautiful eBook so you don’t have to take notes and you can review it as often as you want.  To download the F R E E ebook, click here: https://robyngobbel.com/ebook

Hit subscribe to Parenting after Trauma in your podcast player so you don't miss anything in this monthly focus on attachment!  Next week, we'll explore disorganized attachment! 



Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
In depth parent course: Parenting after Trauma: Minding the Heart and Brain
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

***Possible Trigger Warning***

Learning about disorganized attachment might feel overwhelming and bring up uncomfortable feelings.  Listen in a place and at a time you can take breaks and seek regulation.  Titrate yourself!  Maybe read the article on the blog instead of listening to the podcast.  www.RobynGobbel.com/disorganizedattachment

***********

Another episode in the June series on attachment!

Today is all about disorganized attachment.  If you haven't caught the previous four episodes in this series on attachment, be sure to check them out.

In this episode, we look at 

• What happens when a baby's attachment system has them fleeing toward their caregiver when they are afraid, but the caregiver is who is causing the fright
• Why disorganized is disorganized- it's the only attachment 'style' that isn't organized
• The kinds of experiences an infant can experience as disorganizing

There’s a lot in this one episode and the whole six-part series!  I made the series into a beautiful eBook so you don’t have to take notes and you can review it as often as you want.  To download the F R E E ebook, click here: https://robyngobbel.com/ebook

Hit subscribe to Parenting after Trauma in your podcast player so you don't miss anything in this monthly focus on attachment!  Tomorrow we'll explore How Attachment Changes! 



Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
In depth parent course: Parenting after Trauma: Minding the Heart and Brain
CLICK HERE to read about The Club and join the waitlist for the next time we welcome new members

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Part 6 of 6 in the June series on attachment!

The part you've probably been waiting for: how does attachment change?

 If you haven't caught the previous five episodes in this series on attachment, be sure to check them out.

In this episode, we look at 

• How important it is to recognize insecure attachment as protective, trusting in the truth that things only change once we stop trying to make them change
• What was needed at the time- but not received- for each stream of insecure attachment
• How to meet that need now, creating a possible experience for that experience in attachment to shift toward security
• The power of rupture and repair in shift toward secure attachment

There’s a lot in this one episode and the whole six-part series!  I made the series into a beautiful eBook so you don’t have to take notes and you can review it as often as you want.  To download the F R E E ebook, click here: https://robyngobbel.com/ebook

Or even better!!!  Go to my website right away and download the free eBook!!!

Yup!!  I took this entire six part series and had it beautifully and professional designed into an eBook!  You can download it, read it slowly, read it repeatedly- whatever you want.

Head over to https://robyngobbel.com/ebook to receive the free download.



Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
In depth parent course: Parenting after Trauma: Minding the Heart and Brain
CLICK HERE to read about The Club and join the waitlist for the next time we welcome new members

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Today we wrap up this month's focus on attachment with my dear mentor and friend, Bonnie Badenoch.  

Bonnie Badenoch, PhD, LMFT is a thought-leader in the relational neurosciences.  When I think about her contribution to this emerging field of study, I think ‘integrator.’  Bonnie has helped us all feel into the many different strands that are woven together to become what we now call relational neuroscience- interpersonal neurobiology, affect regulation theory, polyvagal theory, memory reconsolidation theory, attachment theory, and more.  Bonnie has taken the science and created space for clinicians to make meaning of how the science comes alive in us and in our work with clients.  

Bonnie knows the science of relationships better than anyone I know, but more than that she knows relationships.  She’s been an integral part of my own journey- without Bonnie there certainly would not have been this attachment series or the Brilliance of Attachment eBook.

Bonnie is the author of three books- Bing a Brain Wise Therapist, The Brain-Savvy Therapist’s Work Book, and her newest book, Heart of Trauma.  If you want to learn more about the amazing work Bonnie does in the world, head over to the website www.NurturingtheHeart.com

 If you'd rather read a summary of the interview instead of listening on the podcast, you can head over to my blog https://robyngobbel.com/bonniebadenoch

You can download the F R E E eBook "The Brilliance of Attachment" at https://robyngobbel.com/ebook





Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
In depth parent course: Parenting after Trauma: Minding the Heart and Brain
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Our kids don’t need us to be perfect.  Not only do they not need us to be perfect, it would actually be bad for them if we were.  

In fact, research shows parents are in attunement with their children about 30% of the time.  30%!  That’s it!  

When I teach, I often reassure parents that ⅓ of their interactions with their child are “getting it right.”  About ⅓ of the time they are “getting it wrong” (whatever that even means- we all have our own, valid definitions).  The rest? The remaining ⅓? Well ideally, the other ⅓ is spent in repair.  

Read a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/RuptureRepair

Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
In depth parent course: Parenting after Trauma: Minding the Heart and Brain
CLICK HERE to read about The Club and join the waitlist for the next time we welcome new members

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

There’s a lot of confusion about what co-regulation really is.  Parents often say to me something like “OK, I get it- I’m supposed to give co-regulation instead of a consequence.  But- what does that really mean?  Like- what does co-regulation actually look like in real life?”

Listen to the episode to learn:

• What regulation really is
• What co-regulation really is
• The ‘ingredients’ of co-regulation
• An example of in-real-life co-regulation (with an older child)
• Active vs. passive co-regulation

In this podcast, I mention:
Is it really about trust? Or not enough co-regulation?  Building the Tower of Self-Regulation
Regulation Does Not Equal Calm

FREE
One-page PDF infographic on What Does Co-Regulation Really Look Like!
CLICK HERE to get the download sent to your inbox

You can read a longer summary AND get a full transcript over at https://robyngobbel.com/coregulation

Over on my website you can find:
Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

What does my child need for their success to be inevitable?

If I wanted to paint the top of a 20 foot wall, I’d rent some scaffolding.  Scaffolding makes the floor higher and would get me as close to the top of the wall as I needed.  

The scaffolding would help make my success inevitable.  It’s not the only thing I need to be successful (paint would come in handy!), but it’s a really important piece.  

In parenting, scaffolding is the support that we put in place that allows our children to be successful.  Then, slowly, thoughtful, and sequentially, we decrease the amount of external support needed as our children develop that capacity to be successful on their own.

Read a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/Scaffolding

Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
In depth parent course: Parenting after Trauma: Minding the Heart and Brain
CLICK HERE to read about The Club and join the waitlist for the next time we welcome new members

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

It's hard to write a summary of this episode because it is so rich with goodness.

Mark Vatsaas is a dad and parent coach for parents of kids with challenging behaviors.  He's compassionate, clear, articulate, and has a knack for seeing straight through to the heart of the manner (that's my observation of him!!)

There are so many brilliant sound bytes in this episode.  It's long but you are going to want to listen to the whole thing.

Mark gives us a peek into his process as a parent coach and describes how he often sees these four themes emerge in his work with struggling parents:
1. Attachment and our drive for survival
2. How our emotions help us navigate our world
3. Defendedness
4. How parents show up- and specifically how they send cues of safety and connection to their children

There are a few tears, some laughter, and by the end you will understand by Mark's business is called Seen and Heard.  Just listening to this episode will help you feel both seen and heard.  Promise.

To learn more about Mark's work, head to www.SeenandHeard.coach.  He offers a free 90 minute consultation for parents- no obligation to schedule any additional sessions.

*************************
There are so many more free resources just waiting for you over at www.RobynGobbel.com

Blog: www.RobynGobbel.com/blog

Free resources, including video resources on the impact of trauma: www.RobynGobbel.com/freeresources

While you are there, sign up to be the first to know when the in-depth, comprehensive brain-based and attachment-supporting course for parents opens for registration!  www.RobynGobbel.com/parentcourse

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Lacy Alana beautifully reminds us that we don’t have to be perfect.  Our messiness can meet each other’s messiness.  We can welcome our kids’ messiness, and find the strength to keep welcoming it…even when it seems like nothing is working.

Lacy is a therapist, program developer, trapeze artist, and improv genius who comes to the podcast as an adult who understands childhood trauma because she experienced childhood trauma, including being a youth who was in out-of-home care as a teenager.  Lacy wanted to come on as a person who offers hope for all the parents and professionals out there walking this hard path of caring for a child impacted by trauma.

Find Lacy and all the amazing work she is doing in the world at www.YesAndBrain.com.


*************************
There are so many more free resources just waiting for you over at www.RobynGobbel.com

Blog: www.RobynGobbel.com/blog

Free resources, including video resources on the impact of trauma: www.RobynGobbel.com/freeresources

While you are there, sign up to be the first to know when the in-depth, comprehensive brain-based and attachment-supporting course for parents opens for registration!  www.RobynGobbel.com/parentcourse

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

JD Wilson- dad and host of the Empowered to Connect Podcast- believed that his reputation as a 'legend' when he was baby-sitting other people's kids meant he'd be a rock star parent.

Then he actually became a parent :) and we all know how that went!

JD and his wife turned to connected parenting because they didn’t know what else to do.  Their tools weren’t working, the way that they were parented weren’t working, and he wanted to learn a different way.

It wasn’t easy.  In fact, JD said “for the first couple years of shifting our parenting, it felt like we were running through a swamp.”  It was just so hard to actually put the connected parenting ideals into practice.

JD bravely, boldly, humbly, and humorously shares his journey from spankings to being the co-host of a connected parenting podcast, working and supporting other parents who are also making the journey from punitive to connection based parenting both through the podcast and his work at Memphis Family Connection Center.

We're keeping it real here today, and I hope you love JD and his story as much as I do.

If you'd like to read a thorough summary of episode, CLICK HERE.

You can find the Empowered to Connect podcast here: https://empoweredtoconnect.org/podcast/ or simply search for Empowered to Connect wherever you listen to podcasts!

Goodies you can find on my website:

FREE Brilliance of Attachment eBook at https://robyngobbel.com/ebook
FREE masterclass on What Behavior Really Is and How to Change It at https://robyngobbel.com/masterclass

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

"The brainstem is developed, soothed, and repaired through experiences that are rhythmic, repetitive, relational, and somatosensory" ~ Bruce Perry, MD, PhD

This is part 3 of the Strengthening the Foundation of the Brain series.

The brainstem is the lowest, most inside region of the brain.  It sits at the base of the brain and connects the skull brain to the spinal cord.  The brainstem is the first part of the brain to really wire up, flourishing with neural connections.  The brainstem is organizing and developing in utero and is working pretty effectively in healthy, full term infants.

The brainstem is responsible for all the things our brain and body does automatically- in fact, it's called the autonomic nervous system.

Heart rate, respiration, and most importantly in this Strengthening the Foundation for the Brain series- the regulation of energy and arousal in the nervous system.

It can be easy to overlook the relationship between energy, arousal, and behavior because we've been taught to believe the behavior is largely deliberate, intentionally, and something we do with a lot of thinking.

The brainstem is organized and regulated- healed- through experiences that are rhythmic, repetitive, relational, somatosensory!

If you'd rather read the blog instead of listen on the podcast, CLICK HERE.

Goodies you can find on my website:

FREE Brilliance of Attachment eBook at https://robyngobbel.com/ebook
FREE masterclass on What Behavior Really Is and How to Change It at https://robyngobbel.com/masterclass

Upcoming trainings for Parent and Professionals are listed at https://robyngobbel.com/trainings

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

People pleasing is different from cooperation. 

People pleasing is different from cooperation. 

Cooperation = connection, no loss of autonomy, requires frustration tolerance

People Pleasing = abandoning self because it is too scary or uncomfortable to regulate through the rupture in the relationship.  

People pleasing is a stress-response. It’s a behavior that the “Trickster” possum uses when the possum pathway is activated.  

If you aren’t sure what I mean by possum pathway, check out this podcast/blog: https://robyngobbel.com/possumbrain

I also describe the owl, watchdog, and possum brain in my free eBook, Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior

Some folks call this people-pleasing behavior “fawn.”

I call this “trickster” behavior.

Read a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/PeoplePleasing

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Behavior is just what we see on the outside that tells us about what’s happening on the inside.

If we want to change behavior, we have to change what’s driving the behavior.

This approach to behavior change rests on the idea that regulated, connected kids who feel safe behave well.  If you’re curious about how I came to that conclusion, you can watch my free masterclass and download the free eBook on Focus on the Nervous System!

How many times have you felt confused because of conflicting parenting advice?
Or how often has good parenting advice worked- but only some of the time?
That’s because parenting advice is aimed at stopping a behavior. But…

Read a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/ChangeBehavior


Over on my website you can find:
Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Marshall Lyles is a therapist, author, poet, trainer, advocate, and thought-leader.  Mostly though, he is a dear friend. 

I asked Marshall to come on the podcast to talk about disability, ableism, and parenting kids with vulnerable nervous systems. 

I couldn’t possibly capture the beauty of my conversation with Marshall in a short summary.  This is an episode you absolutely want to listen to in order to get the full impact. 

You can read a longer summary AND get a full transcript over at https://robyngobbel.com/ableisminparenting

In this episode, Marshall and I discuss:

• The definition of disability
• The definition of ableism
• Trauma Informed Care and ableism
• How ableism shows up in parenting kids with invisible, brain-based differences

Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)

eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)

Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club

Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

I know it feels very frustrating when you find a therapist, arrange your schedule, and find a way to pay for therapy only for your child to not participate. Often parents ask me how to get their child to participate or what to do if their child won’t participate.  

But actually what we really need to talk about is what does it look like to participate- or not- in therapy.  Especially as a child.

In this episode, we’ll talk about

• What therapy really is
• What the right pace is for your child
• How it’s not possible for your child to not participate (if the therapist is prioritizing safety)

FREE
One-page PDF infographic on What Therapy Really Is!
CLICK HERE to get the download sent to your inbox

Read a summary of this episode, access the full show notes: RobynGobbel.com/ChildInTherapy

Over on my website you can find:
Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Sometimes it feels like our kids have a hole in the bottom of their heart.  No matter how much love and attention is put in, it seems like it’s never ever enough.  

These kids cannot hold onto the feeling of presence and connection.  When it’s there, it’s great.  When it’s not, it’s like it was never there to begin with and they’ll never get it again.  They don’t have a string that connects them to all the moments of connection they’ve had in the past and all the moments they will have in the future.  

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What whining and clinging behavior means
• Why some kids seem like a bottomless pit of needs
• Steps to fill your child’s connection cup

Read a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/BottomlessPit 

Over on my website you can find:
Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Selma Bacevac is a psychotherapist, author, and coach who specializes in helping Balkan women and parents heal from trauma and anxiety.  She is an expert in healing parent/child relationships.  You’ll love listening to Selma because she really just embodies secure attachment.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• What a brave space is
• How importance brave spaces are in parent/child relationships
• The inspiration behind Selma’s new children’s book

You can read a longer summary AND get a full transcript over at https://robyngobbel.com/bravespace

Follow Selma on instagram HERE.

Buy Selma’s book, Adem and the Magic Fenjer, HERE.

Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)

eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)

Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club

Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

What if understanding memory science and the impact of trauma on memory processing would help our children’s behaviors make sense?

You know trauma impacts behavior, but there's a fascinating link between trauma and memory that will give you an even greater understanding of what's shaping your child's confusing behaviors. Understanding memory science helps you respond with more compassion, empathy and boundaries.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Complex memory science in a way that makes sense
• What happens when memory processing is disrupted by trauma
• Why disruptions in memory processing lead to difficult behaviors
• Clarity on what our children need in order to ‘jump start’ the memory processing system and ultimately decrease difficult behaviors

Read a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at RobynGobbel.com/TraumaMemoryBehavior

Free eBook
Watch the Trauma, Memory, Behavior video series and download the free eBook HERE.

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Understanding your child's Mental Models, a specific kind of Implicit Memory, can help you make sense of your child's behaviors and helps you know what experiences they need from you to change their beliefs about themselves, relationships, and their sense of safety in the world. 

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What a Mental Model is and how it influences our perceptions and behaviors
• How our Mental Models are developed
• What conditions can create Mental Models that contribute to big, baffling behaviors
• How we can change Mental Models
• How to discover your child's Mental Models

Read the summary or full transcript at https://robyngobbel.com/mentalmodels

Download a FREE worksheet to help you discover your child's mental models at https://robyngobbel.com/mentalmodels

Over on my website you can find:

Video series and ebook Trauma, Memory, and Behaviors (FREE)

Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club

Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

I submitted my book on June 30, 2022 after 18 months of actively writing THIS book.

The story of this book actually starts with me writing another book in 2020.  A book that isn't done but I do hope I'll finish and publish one day!

Writing a book was a lot and I really wanted to just process the whole experience with you.

And maybe you want to write a book and this episode will demystify the process for you a bit.

I hope you enjoy the episode :)  Send me an email and tell me what you think!

In this episode, I mention Bethany Saltman who was on my podcast last year.  Check it out here: https://robyngobbel.com/strangesituation/

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Laura Strohm, LCSW is a therapist, colleague and dear friend. If you are in The Club or Being With, you already know Laura is my right hand everything. I asked Laura to come on the podcast to discuss a profound post she recently made in The Club Forum about impossible questions, impossible situations, and impossible decisions. You know, the kind of decisions and circumstances that those of you who are parenting kids with histories of trauma, kids with big, baffling behaviors, kids with vulnerable nervous systems, are facing constantly. Laura's words resonated so deeply for me and also for everybody in The Club, I really wanted to share this with as many humans as possible. 

In this episode, Laura and I discuss

• What it really feels like to face impossible questions, situations and decisions
• How connection helps us anchor and tolerate the impossible, even when there are no right answers
• The quality of grief and gratitude that can arise in those moments

Read a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at RobynGobbel.com/Impossible

Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)

eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)

Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club

Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Jessica Sinarski is a highly sought-after therapist, speaker, and change-maker. Extensive post-graduate training and 15+ years as a clinician and educator led her to create the resource and training platform–BraveBrains. She makes brain science practical, helping parents and professionals become healers for hurting children. She is the author of the award-winning Riley the Brave series, Hello, Anger, and more.  

I asked Jessica to come on the podcast to talk about her newest Riley the Brave children's book and parent resource all about sensory processing challenges. 

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What our senses are (There's more than the 5 you learned in kindergarten!)
• How our experience of our senses impacts behavior
• Ways to empower your child to get their sensory needs met

Riley the Brave's Sensational Senses will be released on October 6th, 2022. You can preorder now through October 5th and receive special bonuses at https://www.rileythebrave.org/senses. You can also find Jessica at http://bravebrains.com/blog/ and learn more about her course for therapists at https://bravebrains.com/moving-beyond-trauma-informed/

Read a summary and full episode transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/senses

Over on my website you can find:

Video series and ebook Trauma, Memory, and Behaviors (FREE)
What Behavior Really Is: Video Series & eBook (FREE)
Brilliance of Attachment: eBook (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

When your child can't handle hearing 'NO' or gets really dysregulated when a boundary is set, it can be really hard on the whole family. Understanding the role of Frustration Tolerance in your child's reaction to hearing 'NO' can help you set them up for growing this developmental skill.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why some kids are delayed in developing this complex developmental skill
• The impact of trauma on frustration tolerance
• The role of mental models and memory processing in developing frustration tolerance
• How we can set our kids up to grow this developmental skill

Read a summary and full episode transcript at: https://robyngobbel.com/frustrationtolerance/

Over on my website you can find:

Video series and ebook Trauma, Memory, and Behaviors (FREE)
What Behavior Really Is: Video Series & eBook (FREE)
Brilliance of Attachment: eBook (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

This episode is a recording of an email I sent out yesterday.

More people have responded to this email than ever before, so I wanted it to reach as many people as possible.

There is much grief in loving someone who struggles.  Have you grieved?

https://robyngobbel.com/haveyougrieved

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Another important piece of understanding what is underneath your child's big, baffling behaviors is the Stress Response System. Our Stress Response System plays a huge role in our children's behaviors and also how we perceive those behaviors.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What stress is and how to differentiate good stress from bad stress
• The impact of trauma and toxic stress to the Stress Response System
• How to build resilience in a sensitized Stress Response System
• A reframe to shift your own Stress Response System 

Read a summary and full episode transcript at: https://robyngobbel.com/stressresponse/

Check out my recent series on Building the Foundation of the Brain mentioned in this podcast HERE

Over on my website you can find:

Video series and ebook Trauma, Memory, and Behaviors (FREE)

What Behavior Really Is: Video Series & eBook (FREE)

Brilliance of Attachment: eBook (FREE)

Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club

Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

No matter how much effort we put into understanding behavior, seeing our kids for who they truly are, and connecting with their infinite worth, for those navigating the baffling behaviors of kids who have experienced trauma, or have sensitized stress response systems and/or vulnerable nervous systems, parenting can be traumatic

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why the experience of trauma in parenting isn't being talked about
• The kinds of experiences that make parenting traumatic
• Signs of toxic stress and trauma in parenting 
• Ways to get your nervous system what it needs to heal

Read a summary and full episode transcript at: https://robyngobbel.com/parentingistraumatic

Over on my website you can find:
Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

A short note from Robyn...

This episode is a recording of an email I previously sent out.

New skills- like hoisting a kayak over your head or staying regulated in the face of utter chaos- take a lot of practice. 

Sometimes shame gets in the way of continuing to practice, and I easily feel the tug toward 'it's too hard.  I should give up...'

It is hard.  Sometimes you need to rest.  Sometimes you can keep going.  Sometimes a kayak falls on my head.

You can read the transcript over at https://robyngobbel.com/kayakonmyhead/

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

A short note from Robyn...

This episode is a recording of an email I previously sent out.

Sometimes good parenting advice can actually leave us feeling more alone, isolated, and yes- hurt.

It's not bad advice.  It's just not enough.

In this episode I mention my interview with Marshall Lyles about Ableism and Parenting, as well as my ow memes and reels (LOL- oh the irony) over on Instagram.

Read the transcript at https://robyngobbel.com/whenparentingadvicehurts/

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

A short note from Robyn...

This episode is a recording of a social media post and a post I made in The Club a while back.

Loving someone who is held captive by toxic shame is so so hard.  I hope this short episode gives you a little understanding of toxic shame and self-hatred, as well as a few practical ideas about how to be with a child who is stuck in a pit of toxic shame.

The Club On-Demand Video Library houses a three-part video training on the neurobiology of toxic shame.

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

No one likes to feel manipulated.  It feels gross and yucky and we instinctively want it to stop.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What manipulation really is
• Why children manipulate
• How you can help your child find their voice and decrease manipulation

Read a summary and full episode transcript at: https://robyngobbel.com/manipulation

Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

The first episode in a three-episode series on neuroimmune disorders and big, baffling behaviors.  Even if you don't suspect neuroimmune disorders are impacting your family, I invite you to keep listening!

Today's discussion with Dr. Qazi Javed highlights the complex relationship between trauma, vulnerable nervous systems, baffling behaviors, and neuroimmune disorders.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Common symptoms
• When to get assessed- especially if your child has a history of trauma or other causes that could lead to nervous system vulnerabilities
• How to get assessed/how to find a provider

Read a summary and full episode transcript at: https://robyngobbel.com/neuroimmune/

Resources

PANDAS physician network https://www.pandasppn.org/

Neuroimmune Foundation https://neuroimmune.org/

ASPIRE: The Alliance to Solve PANS and Immune Related Encephalopathies https://aspire.care/

Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)

eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)

Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club

Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

I invited an adult with a neuroimmune condition onto the podcast to discuss his experience and provide listeners with some insight on what children with PANS/PANDAS and other neuroimmune conditions may not have the words to describe. This special guest happens to be my husband, Ed. This episode is part 2 in a 3 part series. Next week, you'll hear me discuss my experience as a caregiver.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What a child with a vulnerable nervous system may long for you to know, but doesn't have the ability to tell you verbally
• What kind of caregiver response really helps (sometimes) 
• How the Dysregulation - Shame Cycle feels

Read a summary or the full transcript on my website: https://robyngobbel.com/neuroimmuneinsideout

Resources
PANDAS physician network https://www.pandasppn.org/
Neuroimmune Foundation https://neuroimmune.org/
ASPIRE: The Alliance to Solve PANS and Immune Related Encephalopathies https://aspire.care/
Monster in Me Documentary: https://www.themonsterinsideme.com/

Over on my website you can find:
Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

This is episode 3 in a 3-part series on neuroimmune conditions.

Today I'm bringing to you a solo-episode about what it's been like to love someone and be in a committed relationsihp with someone who has big, baffling behaviors.

Last week, I introduced you to my husband Ed and he described his experience with chronic Lyme disease, nervous system dysregulation, and yes- big, baffling behaviors.

Those of us who love people with big, baffling behaviors have our own unique and oftentimes traumatic journey.

I know my journey is very different than yours, but I hope that there's moment or two in this episode where you feel seen and less alone.

Thank you for offering my family the felt safety to record these episodes for you.

Read a summary or the full transcript at:
https://robyngobbel.com/neuroimmunecaregiver

Resources
PANDAS physician network https://www.pandasppn.org/
Neuroimmune Foundation https://neuroimmune.org/
ASPIRE: The Alliance to Solve PANS and Immune Related Encephalopathies https://aspire.care/

Over on my website you can find:
Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

We talk about ‘being with’ our kids and each other and our clients.

But what does it mean to be with?

And why is it important?

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What it means to 'be with'
• Why it matters
• What is require to be with
• The role of 'tools' in being with
  
  

Read a summary or the full transcript at:

robyngobbel.com/beingwithkids

Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Understanding the difference between having influence over behavior vs. control can help you get clear on what to focus on. 

One of the trickier parts of the work I do is talking so much with parents about attachment, their role in co-regulation, and felt-safety, without snagging into parent’s shame about every parent's deepest worry- that their child’s baffling behaviors are all their fault.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What it means to influence, not control
• What your real responsibility is in influencing behavior
• Responsibility does not equal blame
• How to acknowledge influence without shame

Read a summary or the full transcript at:
robyngobbel.com/influencebehaviors

Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How to talk with kids about tricky topics like
  • Why they were relinquished for adoption
  • Why they can’t see their family
  • Why their family doesn’t want to see them
  • Why their family has gone on to have a new family

Resources mentioned in this podcast:
Marcella’s new podcast! Adoptees Dish

• Listen on Spotify
• Follow on Instagram

Robyn’s podcast series on memory

• https://robyngobbel.com/traumamemorybehavior/
• https://robyngobbel.com/mentalmodels/

Robyn’s eBook and video series on memory

• https://robyngobbel.com/course/traumamemorybehaviors/

Read a summary or the full transcript at: https://robyngobbel.com/adoptiontruth

Connect with Marcella here:
https://marcellamoslow.com
On Instagram at @marcellamoslow

Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Mindi Kessler, therapist and author of Cycle Breaker: A Guide To Transcending Childhood Trauma. talks about breaking general cycles of abuse and trauma

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What is a trauma reenactment
• How our children trigger our own childhood wounds
• Ways to begin healing ourselves

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Mindi’s new book, Cycle Breaker

• Find on Amazon

Emotional Freedom Techique

• Brad Yates on Youtube

Read a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/cyclebreaker

Connect with Mindi here:
https://www.mindikessler.com/
https://www.instagram.com/mindikessler/

Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

A transnational and transracial adoptee, therapist and author of Being Adopted, discusses the importance of providing authentic representation and accurate reflection of the adoption experience

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• The importance of providing an authentic mirror for little adoptees
• How we can allow parts of your child's spirit to breathe
• Why "fixing it" isn't the most powerful intervention
• How to reconcile when child hasn't had mirroring from their community

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Amy's book Being Adopted

• Find on Amazon

Read a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/beingadopted

Connect with Amy here:

Website: www.growhealblossom.com
Instagram: www.growhealblossom.com

Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

An interview with Ilyse Kennedy, author of The Tender Parts about how parts work can help us build trust in how our inner system (and our children's systems) are unfolding and healing.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• About Internal Family Systems as a therapy modality and way of being
• Some of the language used to describe parts work
• How parts work can help parents

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Ilyse's book The Tender Parts

• Find on Amazon

Upcoming training

• Presence and Patience

Read a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/tenderparts

Connect with Ilyse here:

• Website: www.movingpartspsychotherapy.com
• Instagram: @MovingPartsPsychotherapy
• Facebook: @MovingPartsPsychotherapy

Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

***This episode originally aired on February 16th, 2021***

Connection.  Empathizing.  Offering choices.  These parenting ideas sound good in theory but if you are living with a child who seems chronically angry or won’t get out of bed or is otherwise pretty much always unhappy or dysregulated- none of those parenting suggestions seem to do much good.  So…what should you do instead???

This episode takes you through the three places I always recommend parents start first when they are trying to support their child who feels chronically dysregulated.
1. Food, water, and movement
2. Structure, routing, and predictability
3. Stick close

These may or may not help your child to decrease their level of arousal and dysregulation but they are always where I recommend parents start first!

Read a full summary or the full transcript at: www.RobynGobbel.com/alwaysdysegulated

For an introduction to tracking arousal instead of behavior, read this blog: www.RobynGobbel.com/watchdogbrain or listen to episode 4

Parenting after Trauma: Minding the Heart and Brain online course:  www.RobynGobbel.com/parentcourse

You can watch the free masterclass on Regulation, Connection, and Felt-Safety right on my website!  www.RobynGobbel.com/masterclass

Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

***This episode originally aired on May 25th, 2021***

I'll bet you are familiar with this baffling phenomenon.

Everything seems great.  Fun!  Even laughter and real good times.

And all of the sudden- completely dysregulation and melt-down.

Sometimes even just the anticipation of something fun can lead to dysregulation.

I know that understanding the why doesn't exactly solve this problem, but I definitely find that understanding the why can open up compassion and keep us more regulated.  Which then means we can respond instead of react.

In today's episode we are looking at the science behind why this happens.

It's science- not sabotage!  Promise!

In this episode you hear me mention a F R E E three-part video series on Trauma, Memory, and Behaviors.  You can find that at https://robyngobbel.com/videoseries

If you are ready to take a deep-dive into parenting a child impacted by trauma through the lens of regulation, connection, and felt-safety, you'll want to check out my self-paced, comprehensive, and all online digital course Parenting after Trauma: Minding the Heart and Brain.  You can find that at https://robyngobbel.com/parentcourse

Read a full summary or the full transcript at: https://robyngobbel.com/goodtimesgobad/

Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

***This episode originally aired on March 2nd, 2021***

Or mad? Or scared? Or overwhelmed? Or shut-down?

Why do I make a mountain out of a mole hill?  Why can’t I keep it together?  

Being ignored (or yelled at or cussed at or disrespected or refusing to eat or do a chore or or or or the list is endless) is never going to feel good.  But- have you ever wondered why your brain goes into full on attacking watch dog mode when the reality is- refusing to do a chore, go to school, or even being ignored or yelled at, isn’t life threatening?

If it isn’t life threatening, why does our brain go to attack mode?

We talk about two reasons in today's episode:

1. Decreased window of stress tolerance
2. Implicit memory awakenings

***************
I talk about a LOT of resources in this episode!
Blog articles:

1. Finding Playfulness
2. Self-Compassion
3. No Behavior is Maladaptive 

Read the full summary or the full transcript at: https://robyngobbel.com/whydoigetdysregulated/

Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

***This episode originally aired on December 22nd, 2020***

I love love love talking about self-compassion for two main reasons.   

1. Self-Compassion is solidly anchored in the relational neurosciences- and you know how much I love...and need...for things to be anchored in science.  
2. Self-compassion has tenacity.  There's no way out.  Self-compassion has an answer for all your reasons why you aren't worthy of self-compassion.  I love that about self-compassion (probably because people describe me as tenacious- especially, relationally).

In this episode, we will explore the science of self-compassion.  We'll look at why compassion is the neurobiology of change.  Why you deserve compassion.  Why compassion is how the brain heals and changes.  Compassion can feel risky- and I'll give you the science that might help you feel safe enough to take the vulnerable step toward self-compassion.

To read the full summary or the full transcript visit:  robyngobbel.com/selfcompassion

Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

***This podcast episode originally aired on January 5th, 2021***

How do we not flip our lids when our kids are going bananas?  It's HARD.  Because dysregulation is quite literally contagious!!  And if we flip our lids too then it's usually pretty hard to deescalate the situation.   Offering connection, regulation, and felt-safety to our kids is a lot easier if we don't flip our lids! (Although for sure- perfection in parenting is never ever ever required and sometimes, I flip my lid, too!)

In this episode, we will look at steps you can take- IN THE MOMENT- of a stressful parenting experience (assuming no one is in literal danger!) that will help you stay regulated (not calm!) so you can tackle the real problem.  The real problem is probably your child's regulation, connection, and/or felt-safety!

To read the full summary or the full transcript visit: www.RobynGobbel.com/notflippingyourlid

If you are new to this model of brain-based parenting, you can watch my free 45 minute masterclass on Regulation, Connection, and Felt-Safety here: www.RobynGobbel.com/masterclass

Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

***This episode originally aired on May 24th, 2022***

There’s a lot of confusion about what co-regulation really is.  Parents often say to me something like “OK, I get it- I’m supposed to give co-regulation instead of a consequence.  But- what does that really mean?  Like- what does co-regulation actually look like in real life?”

Listen to the episode to learn:

• What regulation really is
• What co-regulation really is
• The ‘ingredients’ of co-regulation
• An example of in-real-life co-regulation (with an older child)
• Active vs. passive co-regulation

You can read a longer summary AND get a full transcript over at https://robyngobbel.com/coregulation

In this podcast, I mention:
Is it really about trust? Or not enough co-regulation?  Building the Tower of Self-Regulation
Regulation Does Not Equal Calm

Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

***This episode originally aired on May 11th, 2021***

You’ve asked yourself “Is this a behavior that’s coming from my child’s trauma?  Or is this regular acting out kid behavior???”

Sometimes it’s pretty obvious but if you’re asking yourself that question, you’re probably in a situation where it isn’t obvious.

What if I told you it doesn’t matter?

Hear me out.

Why do you want to figure that out?  Usually because it feels like you’ll handle the situation different based on the answer.

But actually, it doesn’t matter. And it’s impossible to determine anyway.

What you really want to think about is- how dysregulated is my child?

And then respond to that!!  

There are some core truths about humans- regulated, connected kids who feel safe do well.  So if you’re child isn’t doing well- ask yourself if this is about regulation, connection, felt-safety or some combination of those.

Then, based on your child’s level of arousal/dysregulation, you can intervene in a way that will calm their arousal and bring back their owl brain.   

I explore this in depth in today’s episode!  If you want to learn more about this way of looking at behaviors, watch this free masterclass online  www.RobynGobbel.com/masterclass

To view the full summary or the full transcript visit: https://robyngobbel.com/traumabehavior/

Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

***This episode originally aired on May 18th, 2021***

What if I told you that calm isn't best?  Calm isn't what we are working toward!  And prioritizing calm gives other states of the nervous system a bad wrap!

Calm is just a byproduct of an attempt to regulate!  In fact, there are risks to focusing on calm as our primary goal.

On today's episode, I'm thrilled to introduce you to Lisa Dion, LPC, RPT-S, is an international teacher, creator of Synergetic Play Therapy, founder and President of the Synergetic Play Therapy Institute, and host of the Lessons from the Playroom podcast.  She is the author of Aggression in Play Therapy:  A Neurobiological Approach for Integrating Intensity and is the 2015 recipient of the Association for Play Therapy’s Professional Education and Training Award of Excellence.

Lisa and I have a lovely time discussing the difference between regulated and calm, including the risks of pretending to be calm when we aren't.  As parents and clinicians who care for kids with a history of trauma, it's important to negotiate ways within ourselves that we can be honest and congruent with our true experiences (maybe we are mad!) while still remaining regulated and offering felt-safety.

Wait what?! Regulated and mad?!?!

Yup.  Regulated and mad.  Have a listen to see what Lisa has to say about this!

You can find more of Lisa's work over at Synergetic Play Therapy Institue, including her book for clinicians, Aggression in Play Therapy.

To read the full summary or the full transcript visit: https://robyngobbel.com/lisadion/

Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

A conversation with Emily Daniels who has developed a trauma-informed training for schools that equips teachers to cultivate conditions for felt-safety in the classroom.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What's happening in schools now
• How felt-safety is different than what we usually think about in regards to school safety
• Why we should offer an abundance of cues of safety in this time of politicization and mass shootings
• Why it's important for educators to befriend their nervous systems first 

Previous podcast interview with Emily Daniels: https://robyngobbel.com/regulatedclassroom/

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Emily's book and resources: https://regulatedclassroom.com/collections/the-regulated-classroom

Read a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/regulatedclassroom2

Connect with Emily here:
Website: https://regulatedclassroom.com/
Instagram: @theregulatedclassroom

Over on my website you can find:
Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

An interview with Dr. Chaitra Wirta-Leiker about empowering children to be the boss of their own stories and how to find therapists who can hold those stories with curiosity and resonance.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• We all get to decide how we want our stories to be shared, and why it's especially important for adoptees to have tools for responding to intrusive questions
• The powerful connection of finding a therapist who is an adoptee
• How to find the right therapist for your child

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Dr. Wirta-Leiker's book: https://growbeyondwords.com/adoptees-like-me/

National Adoptee Therapist Directory: https://growbeyondwords.com/adoptee-therapist-directory/

Screening Questions: https://growbeyondwords.com/2015/08/screening-questions-when-seeking-an-adoption-competent-therapist/

Read a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/superpowers

Connect with Dr. Chaitra Wirta-Leiker here:
Website: https://growbeyondwords.com/
Instagram: @growbeyondwords
Facebook: @BeyondWordsPsychologicalServices

Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

An episode of sharing, connecting, and reflecting on all the goodness and intensity of 2022, celebrating this community, and looking forward to the year ahead on the podcast and more.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• The huge and impactful undertaking of Being With
• News about my upcoming book!
• What's been happening in The Club
• The most vulnerable thing I did in my business in 2022
• What's ahead for 2023

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Being With Directory: https://robyngobbel.com/beingwithdirectory/

Read a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/reflections

Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Understanding behavior helps us actually solve the problem, leads to compassion, and actually helps behavior to change, but first we must understand why we are so afraid that understanding behaviors means we are excusing "bad" behaviors.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• The difference between understanding behavior and excusing behavior
• Why understanding behavior is important
• What are our fears about understanding behavior
• What leads to behavior change
• The importance of compassionate boundaries

Read a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/understandingbehavior

Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Focusing on understanding what's driving behavior can sometimes make it feel like we aren't addressing the behavior at all. It can feel as if we are boundaryless and permissive. This episode sheds light on what boundaries really are and how focusing on regulation, connection and felt-safety increases compassionate boundaries in response to behaviors.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What boundaries really are
• How they are different than punishment and rules
• Examples of boundaries
• What to do when your child violates a boundary 

Resources mentioned in this podcast:
Previous podcast episode "But What about a Consequence?"

FREE
One-page PDF infographic on Boundaries with Connection!
CLICK HERE to get the download sent to your inbox

Read a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/boundaries1

Over on my website you can find:
Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

In part 2 of this series on Boundaries with Connection, we explore how to set boundaries that create success by providing structure and containment that offers safety, connection, and co-regulation.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How boundaries can create physical and emotional safety
• How to create the kind of boundaries your child really needs for continued development
• How to set boundaries with the intent of increasing regulation

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Previous podcast episode https://robyngobbel.com/scaffolding

FREE
One-page PDF infographic on Boundaries with Connection!
CLICK HERE to get the download sent to your inbox

Read a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/boundaries2

Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

"Sometimes it feels like my child escalates and gets physical or has a tantrum- almost on purpose. Like- they want to get out of control. Is this possible?"

It's totally possible, but it's not because they are manipulative or because they don't want to feel better.

Let me help this behavior make more sense to you so you can stay more regulated and present for your child during this baffling behavior.

Welcome to Fridays in February Q&As!  I'll be answering one question every Friday in February.

See you next week!

Read the transcript: https://robyngobbel.com/dysregulatedonpurpose/


Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)

eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)

In depth parent course: Parenting after Trauma: Minding the Heart and Brain

CLICK HERE to read about The Club and join the waitlist for the next time we welcome new members

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

"I’m so confused about the RAD diagnosis. My son’s therapist suggested it but everything I read online is scary and hopeless. Help!"

When parents get a diagnosis of RAD (or it even gets suggested!) they head straight to Google.

What they find is terrifying!

That's the problem with RAD as a diagnosis!

In this episode, I give a new framework for considering what's underneath the behavioral symptoms that lead to a diagnosis of RAD- and why this reframe is crucial to treatment.

Welcome to Fridays in February Q&As!  I'll be answering one question every Friday in February.

Additional Resources

Brilliance of Attachment eBook by Robyn Gobbel

Developmental Trauma Close Up by Beacon House (this is an EXCELLENT resource on Developmental Trauma)

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

In part 3 of this series on Boundaries with Connection, Juliane Taylor Shore talks us through how boundaries work in relationships with our children - relationships where we have to show up every day - and why it is so important for us to have good psychological boundaries when our children are verbally aggressive. 

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What are psychological boundaries
• How do psychological boundaries help us
• Why good psychological boundaries are important when a child is verbally aggressive
• How to create space between your mind and another's mind

Resources mentioned in this podcast:
Juliane Taylor Shore's website: https://www.cleariskind.com/
Juliane's boundaries course: ​​https://therapywisdom.com/neurobiology-of-feeling-safe/
Jules' Relationship Podcast : https://whydoesmypartner.com/

FREE
One-page PDF infographic on Boundaries with Connection!
CLICK HERE to get the download sent to your inbox

Read a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/boundaries3


Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

I’ve been listening for a while and the watchdog and possum brain ideas have really helped me. Is it OK to teach this to my kids too? I’m worried they’ll start using it as excuses.

I get this question all the time! If we teach our kids about the watchdog and possum brain are they going to start saying things like “My watchdog brain made me hit my sister!”

In this episode, I:

• Outline the benefits of teaching our kids about their brain (there are lots)
• Teach you what to do if your child uses it as an excuse
• Recommend resources for how to teach your child about their brain

Welcome to Fridays in February Q&As!  I'll be answering one question every Friday in February.

Additional Resources:

Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior Podcast: https://robyngobbel.com/changebehavior
Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior FREE Webinar: https://robyngobbel.com/webinar
The START HERE podcast: https://robyngobbel.com/starthere

Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

My four-year-old is relentless in their demand for constant attention. But especially when I’m doing something like checking a text message, watching something on my phone, or talking to someone else- even just their dad! If I don’t pay attention immediately, he freaks out. How do I get this under control?

In this episode, I:

• Reassure you that the need for connection is totally normal!
• Describe the neurobiology processes that make a lack of connection feel like danger
• Recommend resources for how to help your child be able to tolerate disconnection

Welcome to Fridays in February Q&As!  I'll be answering one question every Friday in February.

Additional Resources:
Scaffolding Podcast: https://robyngobbel.com/scaffolding
Bottomless Pit podcast: https://robyngobbel.com/bottomlesspit

Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Robyn shares her personal journey with strengthening her own psychological boundaries.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Robyn’s experience as a client in a therapy setting
• Allowing others to have their own emotional journeys without interfering
• Caring for your watchdog and possum brains with your owl brain
• The title for Robyn’s book coming out September 2023!!! Pre-order HERE

Resources mentioned in this podcast:
Being With Directory: RobynGobbel.com/BeingWithDirectory
Parent Course Directory: RobynGobbel.com/ParentCourseDirectory
The Club: RobynGobbel.com/TheClub
Podcast with Juliane Taylor Shore: https://robyngobbel.com/boundaries3/

Read a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/myboundaries

Over on my website you can find:
Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

The Club is currently welcoming new members and I know you have questions- questions that ultimately boil down to:

• Is The Club right for me and my family?
• How can The Club help?

I also answer very practical questions like:

• What’s Included in The Club? (so much!)
• How much direct interaction do I get with Robyn (lots!)
• Is it easy to quit when I’m ready? (YES!)

Welcome to the Friday Q&A series! I’m answering listener questions every Friday on the podcast.

For all the details about The Club and to join us, head to https://RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Over on my website you can find:
Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Understanding the neurobiology of toxic shame helps us understand how to begin to change this for our kids.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What is the difference between shame and toxic shame
• What is the neurobiology of toxic shame
• How does toxic shame develop?
• Why do good things trigger shame for some people?
• Robyn's book is available for pre-order!!!

Resources mentioned in this podcast:
Robyn's Book: https://robyngobbel.com/book/
The Club: RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Read a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/toxicshame

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Understanding how your child's - or your - behaviors protect against re-experiencing toxic shame and what it looks like will help you along the way to healing toxic shame.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What behaviors might you see that are related to toxic shame
• How and why behaviors protect us from re-experiencing toxic shame
• How Internal Family Systems helps us make sense of these behaviors
• How toxic shame can protect us from experiencing the grief of aloneness

Resources mentioned in this podcast:
Robyn's Book: https://robyngobbel.com/book/
The Club: RobynGobbel.com/TheClub
Ilyse Kennedy's book: The Tender Parts: A Guide to Healing Trauma through Internal Family Systems Therapy.

Read a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/toxicshame2

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Part 3 of a 3 part series on toxic shame discusses how toxic shame heals and gives parents a map for how to be with kids who experience toxic shame.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• There is no technique or tool to heal shame
• What toxic shame really needs in order to heal
• The role of memory reconsolidation in healing toxic shame
• Why holding the truth for our kids matters

Resources mentioned in this podcast:
Robyn's Book: https://robyngobbel.com/book/
The Club: RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Previous Podcast Episodes:
Trauma, Memory, and Behavior Part 1
Trauma, Memory, and Behavior Part 2 (includes a F R E E download)
What Our Kids Really Need (and Us, Too): Moments of Healing

Read a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/toxicshame3

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

What is a vulnerable nervous system and how do you know if your child has one? Understanding what is meant by "vulnerable nervous system" can help you support your child with big, baffling behaviors.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What do I mean by vulnerable nervous system
• How to know if your child has a vulnerable nervous system
• What causes nervous system vulnerability
• How to support a child who has a vulnerable nervous system

Resources mentioned in this podcast:
Robyn's Book: https://robyngobbel.com/book/
Attachment Series ebook: Robyngobbel.com/ebook
The Club: RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Read a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/vulnerable

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Should my child- who has a history of attachment trauma- be only doing family therapy? Or is it OK for them to do individual therapy?

In this episode, I:

• Reassure you that this is a nuanced decision with no clear answer
• Describe when individual therapy might be most appropriate
• Describe when family therapy might be most appropriate

This is a Friday Q&A episode, where I answer a listener’s question.

Additional Resources:
https://robyngobbel.com/childintherapy

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/IndividualOrFamilyTherapy

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

A conversation with Melissa Corkum and Lisa Qualls, authors of Reclaim Compassion: The Adoptive Parent's Guide to Overcoming Blocked Care with Neuroscience and Faith about blocked care- what it is, what causes it, and how families can begin to recover. 

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What is blocked care
• What are the symptoms
• How can you overcome blocked care

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Blocked Care Assessment: theadoptionconnection.com/parentingaftertrauma
• Website: Reclaimcompassion.com
• Book: Reclaim Compassion

Read a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/blockedcare

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

A conversation with Meredith Ethington, author of The Mother Load: Surviving the Daily Grind without Losing Your Ever Loving Mind about mental health and the mental load of parenting.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why authentic storytelling about parenting is so important
• Why being honest about mental health struggles in parenting matters
• How to hold space for our children's vulnerability and our own
• How the mental load impacts parents

Resources mentioned in this podcast:
Meredith's blog: Perfection Pending
Meredith's new book: The Mother Load

Read a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/motherload

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

For the mom and dad or grandma or grandpa or caregiver who is worried they are making things worse because of how they are parenting.

You have tried so hard to be the parent you want to be.

You have tried so hard to break cycles. To not parent the way you were parented.

And I’ll bet that sometimes, you end up parenting or behaving in exactly the way you are trying not to.

And maybe sometimes it’s actually really bad.

This episode is for you.

Read a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/ParentingFailure

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

What does this way of parenting look like with teens?

In this episode, I:

• Reassure you that teens want to be parented with playfulness and connection, too
• Explore what’s hard about realizing we don’t have control over anyone’s behavior- including our teens
• Remind you that the behavior you want to see from your teen are all owl brain skills, so keep using regulation, connection, and felt safety to grow their owl brain

This is a Friday Q&A episode, where I answer a listener’s question.

Additional Resources:
Parenting in the Eye of the Storm by Katie Naftzger
Brainstorm by Dan Siegel
How to Talk to Your Teen About Anything by Katie Malinski
Podcast episode with Katie Malinski: https://robyngobbel.com/talktoyourteen/

Read the transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/ParentingTeens

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Why does my child hate having their feelings validated?

In this episode, I talk about the top 5 reasons I see about why kids don’t like their feelings validated:

1. It feels too vulnerable
2. It feels intrusive
3. You’re getting it wrong
4. You’re on the watchdog or possum pathway
5. They are too far down the watchdog & possum pathway

This is a Friday Q&A episode, where I answer a listener’s question.

Additional Resources:
Regulated Does Not Mean Calm https://robyngobbel.com/lisadion
Toxic Shame Series https://robyngobbel.com/toxicshame
Has Trauma Informed Become another Behavior Modification Technique? https://robyngobbel.com/traumainformed/

Read the transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/ValidatedFeelings

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Robyn explores the grief in parenting kids with vulnerable nervous systems 

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• The relationship between trauma and grief
• Why it's important to make space for grief in our kids and in ourselves
• The role of self-compassion
• How a lack of media representation of your parenting journey causes grief

Resources mentioned in this podcast:
Robyn's book: https://robyngobbel.com/bafflingbook

Read a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/grief

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Healthy use and overuse when it comes to screen time
• Consuming screen time with mindful intentionality 
• Helpful tips for transition time away from screens
• Power with instead of power over and having collaborative conversations
• What do we do now that the screens are turned off?

Screen Time & Mental Health Summit
The Bright & Quirky Screen Time & Mental Health Summit runs May 15 - 19.
CLICK HERE to register for FREE!

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• The Good Life by Robert Waldinger 
• Atomic Habits by James Clear
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/brightandquirky 
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brightnquirky/

Read a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/screentime

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

A deep and touching conversation with Carrie Contey, PhD. about the profound human work of being in relationship with another developing human and remembering their essence in the midst of challenging behaviors and chaos.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What does Carrie Contey mean by Knot Parenting
• What it is to be human and care for humans as they grow
• A bigger container for holding the work of parenting

Resources mentioned in this podcast:
Website: https://www.carriecontey.com/
Podcast: https://www.carriecontey.com/podcast
Email: hello@carriecontey.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/carrieconteyphd
Instagram: @carrieconteyphd https://www.instagram.com/carrieconteyphd/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@carrieconteyphd
Freebies: https://www.carriecontey.com/resources

Read a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/knotparenting

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Can you please talk more about blocked care?

This Friday Q&A is a follow up to Episode 123- Healing Blocked Care. 

1. If connection is a biological imperative, how can I be experiencing blocked care?
2. How does blocked care fit into the owl, watchdog, and possum approach to the nervous system?
3. What are some more tips for parents experiencing blocked care?

This is a Friday Q&A episode, where I answer a listener’s question.

Mentioned Resources: 

• Healing Blocked Care episode: https://robyngobbel.com/blockedcare/
• Reclaim Compassion by Lisa Qualls and Melissa Corkum: https://www.amazon.com/Reclaim-Compassion-Adoptive-Overcoming-Neuroscience/dp/B0BW344WQ8
• Brain Based Parenting by Dan Hughes: https://www.amazon.com/Brain-Based-Parenting-Neuroscience-Interpersonal-Neurobiology/dp/0393707288
• Start Here private podcast: RobynGobbel.com/StartHere

Read the transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/BlockedCare2

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

This is NOT an episode about how to make your kid go to school. 

What you WILL learn in this episode:

• What is pathological demand avoidance, or PDA?
• Schools valuing attendance above all is not helpful
• You are a good parent even if your kid doesn’t go to school
• That sometimes, all we have to do is be nice

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Can’t Not Won’t by Eliza Fricker
• The Family Experience of PDA by Eliza Fricker
• The Educator's Experience of PDA by Eliza Fricker

How to Connect with Eliza Fricker:

• Website
• Facebook
• Instagram
• Twitter

Read a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/SchoolRefusal

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

We cannot be trauma informed without changing our beliefs about human behavior. 

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How staying focused on behavior is objectifying and dehumanizing
• Why we cannot heal vulnerable nervous systems with objectifying approaches
• How our culture sets parents up to believe good parents are in control of their kids behaviors
• How to begin deconstructing these beliefs so we can stay in our owl brain

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Robyn's book: https://robyngobbel.com/bafflingbook
• Has Trauma Informed Become A Behavior Modification Technique? https://robyngobbel.com/traumainformed/
• Influence Behaviors, Not Control https://robyngobbel.com/influencebehaviors/
• Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior webinar  https://robyngobbel.com/webinar 

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/trulytraumainformed

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

You aren’t parenting wrong. It’s not your fault. Asking “What am I doing wrong?” is the wrong question! Here’s what be curious about instead.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• That you’re not doing it wrong (well, not any more wrong than anyone else)
• A more helpful to question to ask ourselves when our kids are struggling
• Why having kids who are never dysregulated isn’t the goal

Resources mentioned in this podcast:
Robyn's book: https://robyngobbel.com/bafflingbook
Influence Behaviors, Not Control https://robyngobbel.com/influencebehaviors/

Read a the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/notdoingitwrong

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

An episode all about the evolution of the podcast and how the name change will reflect the vast audience of families with children who have baffling behaviors. 

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• The origins of the podcast
• The huge impact of the podcast
• Why we're renaming the show 
• Who the podcast is for

Resources mentioned in this podcast:
Robyn's book: https://robyngobbel.com/bafflingbook
The Neuro Immune podcast series: http://RobynGobbel.com/NeuroimmuneSeries

Read a the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/bafflingbehaviorshow

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

An episode exploring the feeling of disappointment as an underlying cause of many baffling behaviors.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why and how we avoid feeling disappointment
• The neurobiology of disappointment
• Behaviors associated with avoiding disappointment
• The importance of embracing disappointment

Resources mentioned in this podcast:
Robyn's book: https://robyngobbel.com/bafflingbook

Read a the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/disappointment


Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Looking for practical strategies to nourish a fried nervous system?

Living with someone who has significant vulnerability in their nervous system can lead to a sensitized stress response system, resulting in unpredictable and sometimes unsafe behaviors. This can leave our own nervous systems in a state of distress. While we often discuss secondary trauma in parenting kids with trauma histories, the truth is that living with someone who has significant dysregulation is trauma in itself. Understanding this perspective allows us to acknowledge the challenges we face without criticizing ourselves or others.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• The impact of parenting on your nervous system
• The consequences of burnout and lack of support
• Signs of a fried nervous system
• Practical strategies for nourishing a fried nervous system

FREE
One-page PDF infographic- what to do when your nervous system is fried!

CLICK HERE to begin the download

Resources mentioned in this podcast:
Previous episode recommendations:

• Connection vs. Protection (7)
• Self Compassion (8)
• Understanding Behavior is Not Excusing Behavior (109)
• Grief in Parenting Kids with Vulnerable Nervous Systems (129)
• Scaffolding (82)
• When Parenting is Traumatic (95)

Read a the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/fried

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Marna Pacheco, the creator of Capeable Weighted Products, started her journey due to the needs of her daughter.  Marna's devotion to her family and her relentless pursuit of research led to the development of SmartWeight-Technology, a different approach to weighted products, wrapped up in a sweet little pink cape - the first Capeable product.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• The Three C’s of Smartweight Technology
  • Conform
  • Compress
  • Constant Contact
• How this innovation leads to such a positive impact on the nervous system
• How Marna was able to use her experiences to create change for thousands of kids and families

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Rising Tide Conference
• Capeable
• The Connected Therapist by Marti Smith

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/capeable

Over on my website you can find:

Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)

eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)

Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club

Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

An episode that explores the behavior of stealing and the underlying factors that contribute to it.

Stealing is a frequent concern among parents and professionals, yet there is a lack of comprehensive resources on the subject. The goal is to provide a single source that explores the behavior of stealing in depth, taking into account the underlying factors that contribute to it.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• The underlying causes of stealing
• What to do about stealing
• What it takes to help your child be successful at not stealing

Resources mentioned in this podcast:
Previous episode on the Stress Response System: https://robyngobbel.com/stressresponse/

Read a the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/stealing

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

In this podcast episode, Robyn Gobbel interviews Sarah R. Moore, the author of Peaceful Discipline: Story Teaching, Brain Science & Better Behavior, and founder of Dandelion Seeds Positive Parenting.  Sarah was working a corporate job when as a new mom, a conversation with a pediatrician who discouraged her from responding to her baby's cries ignited a fire in her to research and understand the importance of responsive parenting. This experience led her to empower parents and caregivers by providing evidence-based information and support.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• The basics of conscious parenting
• The importance of curiosity and grace 
• Sarah's HUG process (Holding reactions, Understanding perspectives, and Granting grace
• The power of story teaching

Resources mentioned in this podcast:
Sarah's book: Peaceful Discipline: Story Teaching, Brain Science & Better Behavior
Website: https://dandelion-seeds.com/

Read a the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/responsive

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

What if I told you that there's a revolutionary approach to parenting that's shifting the traditional power dynamics and nurturing stronger relationships of trust and understanding? My latest conversation with Amanda Diekman, author of the groundbreaking book "Low Demand Parenting", explores this very concept. Together, we tread into the challenging terrain of parenting children with highly sensitive nervous systems, sharing insightful strategies and breakthrough research work of Ross Green, Mona Delahooke, and Stuart Shanker.

In this episode you’ll learn:

• What is low-demand parenting
• How to create a post-meltdown plan for parents

Resources mentioned in this podcast:
Low Demand Parenting- Released July 21, 2023
https://us.jkp.com/products/lowdemand-parenting?_pos=1&_sid=b80ccd227&_ss=r
***For 20% off and free shipping, use code: BafflingBehaviors20

Find Amanda on Instagram: @LowDemandAmanda
Find Amanda online: https://www.amandadiekman.com
Post Meltdown Plan for Parents on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/Ctgv-B1OjtE/

Read a the full transcript at: https://RobynGobbel.com/lowdemand

Follow Robyn On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Ever found yourself struggling to understand and support a child who simply doesn’t fit the mold? Dayna Abraham's way to Calm the Chaos might be just what you're looking for.  Dayna's journey from being a sibling to a challenging brother, to teaching dysregulated kids, and then parenting a unique child herself, offers a wealth of wisdom and practical strategies. Dayna has taken everything she's learned from supporting her son and now helps struggling families all around the world. 

In this episode you’ll learn:

• How Dayna’s personal experiences have led her to develop her Calm the Chaos framework for parents
• The importance of seeing kids uniqueness as something to be celebrated, not changed
• Why parents deserve exactly what our kids deserve- safety and connection and understanding

Resources mentioned in this podcast:
Lemon Lime Adventures
Calm the Chaos Book
Calm the Chaos Podcast

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/CalmtheChaos

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith