The Anti People Pleasing Podcast (Jo Westwood)

Why can't I get over them even though I know they weren’t right for me? How do I set boundaries with my narcissistic family? How will I know when I'm ready to date again?

Get all your codependency, people pleasing and dysfunctional relationship related questions answered, right here on The Anti People Pleasing Podcast, with me, your host, The Codependency Coach, Jo Westwood.

And occasionally some very cool guests, whose opinions are worth a lot more than your toxic ex’s.

Follow me on Instagram @jowestwood to submit your questions in my stories every Monday.

Subscribe and follow so you never miss an episode. I cannot wait to deliver some As to your Qs!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In the first ever episode of The Anti People Pleasing Podcast Jo answers your questions... "I'm a straight woman and my codependency makes me feel like a bad feminist!" / "Can an abuser change if they say they want to?" / "Has lockdown resurfaced old traumas for people?"

• Content warning for all shows: Potential mention of abuse, coercion, trauma, addiction and mental health issues.

• Follow Jo on Instagram to submit your question in her stories every Monday: http://instagram.com/jowestwood

• Join the Wildly Worthy Recovery Community here: http://wildlyworthy.mn.co

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jo answers your questions... "How can I tell if I need to change my reaction, or they need to change their behaviour?" / "How can I tell when I'm ready to date again, and how can I trust myself not to go too quickly when I do?" / "My friends have stopped talking to me because of my codependent behaviours. How do I move forward?"

• Content warning for all shows: Potential mention of abuse, coercion, trauma, addiction and mental health issues.

• Follow Jo on Instagram to submit your questions in her stories every Monday: http://instagram.com/jowestwood

• Join the Wildly Worthy Recovery Community here: http://wildlyworthy.mn.co

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jo answers your questions... "Is it possible to be both codependent and a commitment-phobe?" / "Do you have any practical self esteem building tips?" / "Why is it good for codependent people to date several people?"

• Content warning for all shows: Potential mention of abuse, coercion, trauma, addiction and mental health issues.

• Follow Jo on Instagram to submit your questions in her stories every Monday: http://instagram.com/jowestwood

• Join the Wildly Worthy Recovery Community here: http://wildlyworthy.mn.co

• Links to resources mentioned in show:

Information on social, sexual and emotional anorexia from SLAA UK: https://www.slaauk.org/is-slaa-for-me/anorexia-sexual-social-and-emotional/

Sexual Anorexia and the Challenge of Social Isolation by Noel Bell: https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/memberarticles/sexual-anorexia-and-the-challenge-of-social-isolation

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jo answers your questions... "I'm a chronic people pleaser in a new job and I feel like my colleagues don't like me" / "How can I get over a breakup in lockdown, and what could I have done differently?" / "Can I heal from codependency in a long term relationship?"

• Content warning for all shows: Potential mention of abuse, coercion, trauma, addiction and mental health issues.

• Follow Jo on Instagram to submit your questions in her stories every Monday: http://instagram.com/jowestwood

• Join the Wildly Worthy Recovery Community here: http://wildlyworthy.mn.co

• Links to resources mentioned in show:

Essay by Elizabeth Gilbert, Learn to be Lonely: https://www.elizabethgilbert.com/learn-to-be-lonely-dear-ones-a-friend-of-this-page-asked-me-today-if-i-wo/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jo answers your questions... "I can't leave my married boyfriend. I'm scared to be alone" / "Can you be both codependent and narcissistic?" / "Why can't I stop telling everyone everything or keep a secret?" / "How do I tell the people I'm dating that I have boundaries?"

• Content warning for all shows: Potential mention of abuse, coercion, trauma, addiction and mental health issues.

• Follow Jo on Instagram to submit your questions in her stories every Monday: http://instagram.com/jowestwood

• Join the Wildly Worthy Recovery Community here: http://wildlyworthy.mn.co

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jo answers your questions... "Is it bad if your partner resembles one of your parents?" / "He's perfect on paper, but I don't find him physically attractive. What should I do?" / "I'm in recovery and struggle to be authentic with my partner and old friends"

• Content warning for all shows: Potential mention of abuse, coercion, trauma, addiction and mental health issues.

• Follow Jo on Instagram to submit your questions in her stories every Monday: http://instagram.com/jowestwood

• Join the Wildly Worthy Recovery Community here: http://wildlyworthy.mn.co

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jo answers your questions... "My parents aren't emotionally supportive and it feels isolating" / "I've started dating again, and I don't know how to tell a stud from a dud" / "I'm dating a great guy, but it feels boring. I'm addicted to the drama of my toxic relationships"

• Content warning for all shows: Potential mention of abuse, coercion, trauma, addiction and mental health issues.

• Follow Jo on Instagram to submit your questions in her stories every Monday: http://instagram.com/jowestwood

• Join the Wildly Worthy Recovery Community here: http://wildlyworthy.mn.co

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jo answers your questions... "Why when things are going well, do I feel like something bad is about to happen?" / "I went on 2 dates and got attached. I felt anxious waiting for a text, is this codependent?" / "I argued with the person I'm seeing and they told me they need time. It's been three days. When should I reach out?" / "Is it ok to call someone out for being codependent? Or should I just be supportive?"

• Content warning for all shows: Potential mention of abuse, coercion, trauma, addiction and mental health issues.

• Follow Jo on Instagram to submit your questions in her stories every Monday: http://instagram.com/jowestwood

• Join the Wildly Worthy Recovery Community here: http://wildlyworthy.mn.co

• Links to resources mentioned in show:

The work of Dr. Elaine Aron on Highly Sensitive People: https://hsperson.com/

Brené Brown on Oprah's Super Soul Sunday, discussing forboding joy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKV0BWSPfOw

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jo answers your questions... "I was in a casual relationship for 6 months and it ended. I feel like I shouldn't feel this bad! Help!" / "What are your thoughts on right person, wrong timing?" / "I've started a new job and find it hard not to overshare about my estranged family and disability" / "How can you tell when you're healing vs. just not that into somebody?"

• Content warning for all shows: Potential mention of abuse, coercion, trauma, addiction and mental health issues.

• Follow Jo on Instagram to submit your questions in her stories every Monday: http://instagram.com/jowestwood

• Join the Wildly Worthy Recovery Community here: http://wildlyworthy.mn.co

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jo answers your questions... "My boyfriend follows a lot of attractive women on Instagram and I feel jealous, help!" / "My baby's dad is a drug addict and I can't stop helping him" / "As I heal, I feel disenchanted with being a therapist. Is this linked to codependency?" / "Can I set boundaries about how someone else lives? Ie. You can't do drugs?" / "How can I tell if someone is being genuinely nice or lovebombing me?"

• Content warning for all shows: Potential mention of abuse, coercion, trauma, addiction and mental health issues.

• Follow Jo on Instagram to submit your questions in her stories every Monday: http://instagram.com/jowestwood

• Join the Wildly Worthy Recovery Community here: http://wildlyworthy.mn.co See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

• Links to resources mentioned in show: 

Nar-Anon - For family and friends of narcotics addicts: https://www.nar-anon.co.uk/ 

Al-Anon - For family and friends of alcoholics: https://www.al-anonuk.org.uk/

CoDA - For codependent people: https://codauk.org/

Information on enabling and interventions: https://family-intervention.com/blog/enabling/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jo answers your questions... "How can I be honest with my partner without feeling like they will reject me?" / "Would love to hear more about codependent - codependent relationships" / "A close friend is dating my ex. Am I wrong to want to distance from her?" / "How to stop diminishing my feelings as a woman?" / "I've had my heart broken and I'm scared to date again"

• Content warning for all shows: Potential mention of abuse, coercion, trauma, addiction and mental health issues.

• Follow Jo on Instagram to submit your questions in her stories every Monday: http://instagram.com/jowestwood

• Join the Wildly Worthy Recovery Community here: http://wildlyworthy.mn.co

• Links to resources mentioned in show:

Article on Kyriarchy: https://everydayfeminism.com/2014/04/kyriarchy-101/

See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jo answers your questions... "Is my partner controlling me? I question myself constantly" / "Can you be love bombed by a friend?" / "The guy I'm dating has no boundaries with his mum. Should I end it?" / "Is food shaming a red flag?" / "I text constantly and he's not into his phone. Is it because he's well adjusted?"

• Content warning for all shows: Potential mention of abuse, coercion, trauma, addiction and mental health issues.

• Follow Jo on Instagram to submit your questions in her stories every Monday: http://instagram.com/jowestwood

• Join the Wildly Worthy Recovery Community here: http://wildlyworthy.mn.co

• Links to resources mentioned in show:

Domestic abuse services, UK:

https://www.refuge.org.uk/

https://www.womensaid.org.uk/

Domestic abuse services for women and girls of African heritage, London based: 

https://www.sistahspace.org/

List of international domestic abuse hotlines:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_domestic_violence_hotlines

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jo answers your questions... "My sister fell out with me over something petty. Should I try harder to make the relationship work?" / "How should I deal with a parent who is argumentative and holds grudges?" / "When I like a guy I start to fixate on them and start to act for them."

• Content warning for all shows: Potential mention of abuse, coercion, trauma, addiction and mental health issues.

• Follow Jo on Instagram to submit your questions in her stories every Monday: http://instagram.com/jowestwood

• Join the Wildly Worthy Recovery Community here: http://wildlyworthy.mn.co

• Links to resources mentioned in show:

The Fawcett Society Report - 150 years of progress on women’s rights and gender equality 1866-2016: https://www.fawcettsociety.org.uk/Handlers/Download.ashx?IDMF=45a5a7f5-ffbd-4078-b0b7-4bfcccab159d

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jo answers your questions... "I struggle with the 12 step label of once a codependent, always a codependent. Is this just my own resistance and denial?" / "My partner of 3.5 years refuses to sleep at my house. Am I unreasonable for needing this?" / "Love the idea of love and heavily depend on others but also have commitment issues... How?" / "How to successfully heal from a codependent relationship when also co-parenting with them?" / "Can two codependents, aware of their people pleasing behaviours, be friends?"

• Content warning for all shows: Potential mention of abuse, coercion, trauma, addiction and mental health issues.

• Follow Jo on Instagram to submit your questions in her stories every Monday: http://instagram.com/jowestwood

• Join the Wildly Worthy Recovery Community here: http://wildlyworthy.mn.co

• Links to resources mentioned in show:

List of global Co-Dependents Anonymous websites: https://coda.org/coda-area-contacts/coda-area-contacts-global/

External blog review of several co-parenting apps: https://separ8.co.uk/tips-advice/co-parenting-apps-which-one-to-choose/

Episode 3 featuring self worth building tips: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/episode-3-q-a/id1576679526?i=1000532714169

Episode 11 featuring more on codependent/codependent relationships: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/episode-11-q-a/id1576679526?i=1000539515980

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jo answers your questions... "When he tells me his hurtful words are 'not that bad' I gaslight myself. How do I trust my feelings?" / Essay Reading - Narcissists Feed Off All Your Emotions, Good Or Bad / "Is it normal to wonder if someone you love is a narcissist but not want to believe it?”" / "When is it too early to say I love you? I’ve been dating a guy for about 6 months but worry about taking it too fast and if my feelings are genuine?”

• Content warning for all shows: Potential mention of abuse, coercion, trauma, addiction and mental health issues.

• Follow Jo on Instagram to submit your questions in her stories every Monday: http://instagram.com/jowestwood

• Join the Wildly Worthy Recovery Community here: http://wildlyworthy.mn.co

• Links to resources mentioned in show:

Episode 1 - Featuring a question on emotionally abusive people going to therapy and changing their ways.

Book recommendation - Sweet Relief From The Everyday Narcissist - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Relief-Everyday-Narcissist-Melissa-Schenker/dp/1936909413

Medium story - Narcissists Feed Off Of All Your Emotions, Good Or Bad

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jo answers your questions... "How to deal with a family Christmas with my controlling mother who wants to parent my child and still treat me like one?" / "Is timing in a relationship really everything?" / "When should I open up about my anxiety and mental health in general? I do it on the first date" / "My kink is being a sub, but I'm codependent. Is that bad?"

• Content warning for all shows: Potential mention of abuse, coercion, trauma, addiction and mental health issues.

• Follow Jo on Instagram to submit your questions in her stories every Monday: http://instagram.com/jowestwood

• Join the Wildly Worthy Recovery Community here: http://wildlyworthy.mn.co

• Links to resources mentioned in show:

Episode 9 featuring a question about right person, wrong timing: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/episode-9-q-a/id1576679526?i=1000537358595

Episode 7 featuring the three lists you need to write to get clarity in your dating life: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/episode-7-q-a/id1576679526?i=1000535899720

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jo answers your questions... "My partner needs to go to therapy but treats it like a joke, how do I get them to go without insinuating they are broken?" / "I've decided to separate from my husband and marry my true wild self. I’m in limbo, any advice? " / "Post narcissistic abuse, how do you trust people? I am frequently afraid everyone is a narcissist" / "Can you give some tip for recovering from self sabotage around making positive changes for my health?" / "How can I create boundaries around my time in a new relationship?"

• Content warning for all shows: Potential mention of abuse, coercion, trauma, addiction and mental health issues.

• Follow Jo on Instagram to submit your questions in her stories every Monday: http://instagram.com/jowestwood

• Join the Wildly Worthy Recovery Community here: http://wildlyworthy.mn.co

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jo answers your questions... "Can you explain financial abuse and how it shows up for codependent people?" / "I got very sick with Covid and my large group of friends didn't believe me. They think I 'ghosted' and all left me" / "My mum is very codependent and controlling. I want to write a letter to her and tell her, should I? How can I bring my focus back to my own healing instead?" / "I’m doing the work, but feel like I doubt myself. Can I be a nice person or is it all just me being codependent?"

• Content warning for all shows: Potential mention of abuse, coercion, trauma, addiction and mental health issues.

• Follow Jo on Instagram to submit your questions in her stories every Monday: http://instagram.com/jowestwood

• Join the Wildly Worthy Recovery Community here: http://wildlyworthy.mn.co

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jo answers your questions: "Why do narcissists move on so fast?" / "He said he’d be my boyfriend so we had unprotected sex but he took it back the next day" / "Is it ok to feel sad about not being in a relationship or is that unhealthy"? / "As an adult I often feel like I want someone to take over taking care of me, like I'm sick of taking care of myself" / "How to not treat yourself badly and let go of shame if you relapse in your recovery?"

• Content warning for all shows: Potential mention of abuse, coercion, trauma, addiction and mental health issues.

• Follow Jo on Instagram to submit your questions in her stories every Monday: http://instagram.com/jowestwood

• Join the Wildly Worthy Recovery Community here: http://wildlyworthy.mn.co

• Links to resources mentioned in show:

Episode 15 featuring an essay on narcissists: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/episode-15-q-a/id1576679526?i=1000542869644

Sweet Relief from The Everyday Narcissist by Melissa Schenker and Tina Moody: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/20549302-sweet-relief-from-the-everyday-narcissist

Dr Ramani Durvasula: http://instagram.com/doctorramani

Safe Slut on Instagram: http://instagram.com/safe.slut

Dr. Ina Park on Instagram: http://instagram.com/inaparkmd

The Savage Lovecast: https://savage.love/lovecast/

Burn Out by Emily and Amelia Nagoski: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/42397849-burnout

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jo answers your questions... "My ex and I want to stay friends, is that possible for a codependent person?" / "I've finally completely left a toxic relationship, and now my libido has tanked, and I'm repulsed by men. Has codependency recovery got anything to do with it?" / "I want to be single for a year but I keep flirting with people I know like me" / "I just ended a long term relationship and I feel immediate regret. Should I give it time or try to get them back? / "Can you press a button in my brain and make me leave him?"

• Content warning for all shows: Potential mention of abuse, coercion, trauma, addiction and mental health issues.

• Follow Jo on Instagram to submit your questions in her stories every Monday: http://instagram.com/jowestwood

• Join the Wildly Worthy Recovery Community here: http://wildlyworthy.mn.co

• Resources mentioned in show:

Article on 'The Art of Flirtation' from Mam Gena - https://mamagenas.com/art-of-flirtation/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Follow me on Instagram: http://instagram.com/jowestwood

Turn on notifications for my IG and submit your questions to me every Monday in my stories, for consideration for the next week's pod!

Find out more about working with me here: http://jowestwood.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How To Deal With Codependent Withdrawal? / Managing Friendships That No Longer Serve Me / What's The Difference Between Self Worth and Arrogance?

Follow me on Instagram and submit your questions for the pod in my stories on Mondays.

Book your free consultation with me here.

Find out more about me and my work here.

CONTENT WARNING FOR ALL EPISODES: Potential mention of abuse, neglect, coercion, addiction, upsetting or activating treatment and / or relationship dynamics in all episodes. Also swearing and some cheesy jokes.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How to date successfully as a codependent or insecure attachment babe. Practical tips and tools that work, even if you're burned out, fed up and jaded by dating, but still would really like to have a loving and fulfilling relationship.

Follow me on Instagram and submit your questions for the pod in my stories on Mondays.

Book your free consultation with me here.

Find out more about me and my work here.

CONTENT WARNING FOR ALL EPISODES: Potential mention of abuse, neglect, coercion, addiction, upsetting or activating treatment and / or relationship dynamics in all episodes. Also swearing and some cheesy jokes.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How to date successfully as a codependent or insecure attachment babe. Practical tips and tools that work, even if you're burned out, fed up and jaded by dating, but still would really like to have a loving and fulfilling relationship.

Follow me on Instagram and submit your questions for the pod in my stories on Mondays.

Book your free consultation with me here.

Find out more about me and my work here.

CONTENT WARNING FOR ALL EPISODES: Potential mention of abuse, neglect, coercion, addiction, upsetting or activating treatment and / or relationship dynamics in all episodes. Also swearing and some cheesy jokes.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Follow me on Instagram and submit your questions for the pod in my stories on Mondays.

Book your free consultation with me here.

Find out more about me and my work here.

CONTENT WARNING FOR ALL EPISODES: Potential mention of abuse, neglect, coercion, addiction, upsetting or activating treatment and / or relationship dynamics in all episodes. Also swearing and some cheesy jokes.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.