Something Positive for Positive People (Courtney Brame - Something Positive for Positive People (SPFPP.org))

It's very rare that you hear about people disclosing and having success. I've been fortunate to have Tim come on and share his most recent success story with us. While shy at first in speaking on the podcast, you hear throughout as Tim begins to open up and get more comfortable sharing his experiences leading up to him meeting an amazing person and how that awkward conversation can potentially go if you're willing to put yourself out there. I originally wanted Tim to share with us BEFORE he disclosed to capture the emotion of leading up to it then I realized that was super selfish and I should have checked in with him to see which was best for him. Fortunately it went well. He has a pretty amazing weekend lined up for himself and his girlfriend coming up.

For obvious reasons, Tim couldn't go into too much detail about his past or his situation due to his need to remain anonymous and given his previous workplaces. So a lot of the pauses are just him finding other ways to word things or me making sure we stay away from digging too much into that kind of info.

For more updates on Something Positive for Positive People, follow me on Instagram @CourtneyBrame

Stay Positive

This was my first interview with a couple who met through support group events. Each one shares their experience of their diagnosis prior to meeting each other in addition to showing us their sex life isn't over.

Episode 22 - Sex Positive Families: Preparation Over Prevention

37 year old (we think) Melissa hosts the Sex Positive Families podcast which I’ve followed on Instagram for several months now @Sexpositive_families. She’s a social worker/sexual health educator doing amazing work I felt was useful to Something Positive for Positive People. I didn’t have good sex education growing up, many of the people on the podcast have expressed the same, and I can speak from experience, that lack or absence of proper education is a contributing factor to the stigma around STI’s that many of us struggle with. Melissa teaches us how to have sexual health conversations with our youth. This episode was fun, informative and definitely useful.

The most interesting takeaway to me was tickling and how it relates to sex as an adult. In tickling, the tickler often feels the other person is enjoying themselves due to the amount of laugher taking place. The tickled is laughing, and at some point is saying no or stop, and their no goes ignored. In sex (as an adult), I could find myself doing this enjoyable fun thing with someone while they are showing signs of enjoyment, but if they say no, I could go on to ignore that because ohhhh they don’t mean no, they can’t mean it because they’re having too much fun. I thought that connection about consent between tickling as a child and sex as an adult was powerful. There are many other cool gems in this episode to listen for, so I hope you’re able to get them and have some awesome SEX-ual health convos with the youth you’re closest to.

In relation to the focus of this podcast, AFTER reaching out to Melissa, I found out she is HSV-2 positive!!! We still do the ‘Hi I’m Courtney and we’re speaking with ______ about their experience with _______’, but the important lesson here is that as someone living with HSV, I wouldn’t have known she had HSV had I not been open about my own. The fact that I was reaching out for the sole purpose of connecting our listeners to her work goes to show you just how common the herp-glerp is.

Telling your kids about your diagnosis - Should I Disclose My HIV or HSV status to my children: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLEFZ9DrQE8

Melissa of Sex Positive Families can be found at www.sexpositivefamilies.com, on Instagram @SexPositive_Families, Facebook @sexpositivefamilies, Twitter @sex_positivefam, YouTube Channel: Sex-Positive Families

You can find Sex-Positive Swag at www.redbubble.com/people/sexpositivefamilies  

Please continue to rate and review the podcast as it does help with the rankings and get this podcast to those who need to find it. Many people have been connected to the resources available that they may not otherwise have come in contact with so soon. I’m on Instagram @CourtneyBrame

I really do wish I could speak to more STI’s but finding people with HIV/AIDS who are willing to share is quite a challenge. If you’re ready to share, please reach out.

Stay Positive!

Our guest for this episode is Emily Depasse, 25 year old Yogi, lifter, model, blogger, paralegal and MSW/MEd Human Sexuality graduate student living with genital hsv-2. Upon diagnosis 2 1/2 years prior to this recording, Emily wondered who would love her as many of us do at some point upon our diagnosis. Her will to persevere was depleting, she felt alone and did what many of us do in this emotional state, turn to a distraction. In her case it was alcohol and supportive, yet unhealthy relationships with friends in order to cope.

As with any other episode, there are some things that'll resonate better with some than others. Bullet points below on the greatest takeaways.

- H Test: Blood test comes back negative, second test from affected area is positive

- Disclosing to friends as a means of support: You never forget that first disclosure

- Challenging beliefs about a person who has herpes and identifying it to ourselves

- Stigma mis-truths: Never says how common herpes is until you have it

- Disclosing on those forms for various services

- Being dumped on Snapchat (what a jerk)

- Support from someone who understands over someone who's 'qualified'

I also find it incredible that Emily is able to do all of these things despite the popular belief that once you contract herpes, your life is over. Facing some judgment from strangers is the least of one's concerns when you have things going on in your life you're committed to! I am grateful to Emily for creating space to share with us her unique experience and offering herself as an educational resource available for additional support.

If you want to reach Emily, check out any of the means below:

Blog: www.emilydepasse.com 

Twitter and Instagram: @SexELDucation

FB Blog page: https://www.facebook.com/eldsoul/

Smithsonian Article that says almost everyone has herpes citation: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/can-we-gene-edit-herpes-away-180968551/

Thank you for listening! If you haven't already, please leave us a review on whatever podcast app you're listening to us from letting us know what you like about this episode or the podcast in general. It could be as simple as the guest's voice or as complex as herpes is itself haha, I gotta stop.

I'm on social media @CourtneyBrame.

Stay Positive!

This episode is an unfiltered look at what happens when you hit a wall. I’ve been grieving, burned out, and realizing just how much I’ve neglected my own needs. In this solo episode, I share my journey of recognizing burnout, learning to set boundaries, and making the decision to take a step back to refocus on what really matters.

I talk about canceling an event due to low turnout, how that decision made me reassess my priorities, and the importance of environment in healing. I also reflect on lessons from my Yoga Therapy training and personal experiences that are helping me navigate grief in a healthier way.

If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, drained, or like you’re constantly running on empty, this episode is for you. Sometimes, the best way to move forward is to pause and allow yourself to recalibrate.

All signs pointed to a solo episode being released today. The Universe/God/Life will always challenge you to prove you are who you say you are and ultimately you surrender to that and live your truth or you suffer with resistance by living out an untruth. Today was a challenge for me and this podcast was a proactive response to the Universe that I am. Recognition of the sameness in us all makes for a much more peaceful life. You wouldn't consciously hate yourself, you love yourself and when you recognize that self in the world around you, you see more of that reflected through you.

Keeping it simple:

- The challenge in finding necessary resources before a disclosure or after exposure. The importance of being there.

- Stigma in the LGBTQ community versus the sub-communities of us living with an STI, what support looks like and living WITH stigma versus batling stigma. Understanding it isn't going away means understanding how to live with it #WHATSTIGMA.

- The Stigma of living with an STI comes from the uneducated popular opinion of those who DO NOT have or know they do not have an STI and unchallenged, this allows the stigma to be overwhelming.

- The answer was no. What was the question? Follow @HOnMyChest On Instagram to find out.

- Recognizing sameness in us all is peace. Focus on our differences creates a heiharchy of better than/worse than ultimately leading to conflict/chaos.

- Looking for someone who can incorporate a lighthouse into the current logo somehow. Open to recommendations if you know someone.

- Be a lighthouse doesn't mean disclosing to the world, it means recognizing the challenges others could be facing and offering to be there for them in a supportive fashion. The more lighthouses we have, the more support is available to us all.

- Please share with me any places I should be sharing this podcast as options are limited.

Thank you for your continued support. At this point we are at 12k downloads and the podcast is much more discoverable than other means of support and information. That's all thanks to you, the listeners! I look forward to more of these solo episodes and engaging more with the audience. Hopefully we can dive deeper into who guests are rather than what they look like and help us live with the understanding that the stigma isn't going anywhere.

Follow the Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/Something-Positive-for-Positive-People-1528441563917176/

I'm on all other social media @CourtneyBrame

Stay Positive!

New York based Psychotherapist, Melissa King, LMHC talks to us about recognizing our own behavior patterns from an objective view. Melissa also shares her very interesting journey after going 8 years believing she was in HSV+ only to find out later that the results from her IGM test were inaccurate! Melissa shares some amazing insights from her experience including methods on how to deal with a new herpes diagnosis.

Melissa can be found at www.myheartdances.com Melissa is also on Twitter @_myheartdances

Please continue to like, rate, share and review this podcast on your podcast player as it is helping us get the exposure to have more 'out there' guests on the podcast which is so helpful to others finding people who are in fact out there because they are open to being there for their following/audience as a lighthouse and support resource. Thank you so much for all your support. I'm on social media @CourtneyBrame

Stay Positive!

Ignite Intimacy podcast host, Laura Aiisha joins us to talk about her personal coming out to her audience sharing her herpes experience with The 'H' Opportunity's Adrial featured as a guest. 

Laura hosts the podcast, Ignite Intimacy, a podcast about sex, intimacy and romantic relationships. For more information about Laura, visit: http://lauraaiisha.com/ignite-intimacy-podcast/ be sure to check out episode 81 we did together.

Laura can also be found:

iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/ignite-intimacy/id1138178795

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5VSa7BzFrpZ7mQxdpUfBEl?si=keniDBr-SDyDWgZy4y0NDQ

Libsyn: http://igniteintimacy.libsyn.com

I'm on Instagram @CourtneyBrame. Don't forget to keep up with the hashtags #SPFPP #WhatStigma #SomethingPositiveforPositivePeople and the Facebook Page, Something Positive for Positive People is up!

Stay Positive!

The most important takeaway from this episode depends on your own personal experiences and how you can relate. Kim shares her story having an 11 month marriage with a man who had lived with HIV for more than 8 years. Kim found out about his diagnosis when her late husband was literally on his death bed. After going through his medical history and journals, she found that Brandon, her late husband, had sought out spiritual counseling and the guidance he had received was to NOT treat himself and that his faith should lead him through his condition. Spiritual leaders and other people in positions of influence are going to give their opinion when consulted on topics based on their knowledge on the subject, even if that knowledge is minimal. We cannot stop them from doing that. What we CAN do is seek medical advice from qualified medical professionals when it comes to our health. Here's Kim's story!

About the guest: Kimberly M. Knight is a native of Raleigh, North Carolina. She graduated from North Carolina Central University with a Bachelor’s Degree in Family & Consumer Sciences concentrating in Family &
Community Services and is currently pursuing her Masters Degree in Social Work . She served as an
Ambassador of the North Carolina AIDS Action Network Women’s Empowered Team which works
directly with the Greater Than AIDS program for Alicia Key’s Empowered Initiative and has volunteered
at the Alliance of AIDS Services-Carolinas since 2013. Her personal interest include her lifestyle blog,
The Lux Blog™ , that discusses art, culture, entertainment, and style for North Carolina. She's an
Managing Online Content Editor and Contributing Writer for Sheen Magazine​. She’s covered red carpet
events at the 2016 Black Girls Rock Awards, Sheen Magazine’s Legendary Weekend, and the Lamplight
Awards. Currently, she’s a Graduate Research Assistant with UNC’s 2BeatHIV Project for the Global
Health Infectious Disease Institute.

Please rate and review this episode if you haven't already via your podcast player!

Follow the show on Instagram: @CourtneyBrame

Short version, we talk about HPV and the sexual assault that surrounded Chrissy contracting it. Viewer discretion advised. The number 1 takeaway here is more of a societal issue than anything. The oppositie of love is indifference! That's the word I couldn't think of in this episode when I hit that stumble point! Indifference enables nonloving situations to take place. Don't be indifferent.

This episode highlights 31 year old Chrissy who was diagnosed with cancerous HPV she contracted at age 16 after a series of sexual assaults. Growing up in foster care, Chrissy had to un-learn what she thought love was from her foster family. After finding her mom, Chrissy tried to build a relationship with her. This ended when her mom chose her then boyfriend over her own daughter. The creation of Love Out Loud was brought about once Chrissy learned she needed to love herself. Once that realization was made, she was able to not only love others, but teach them to do the same.

https://www.loveoutloudshow.com/ LoveOUTLoud is designed to promote self confidence, self love, while not changing who you are. Speaking at rehabs and group homes, I have a chance to relate to those who have had a rough life and want to better themselves. I have found through speaking, and telling my story, I have helped people gain the self confidence and self love they have missed out on for so long. Instagram: LoveOutLoudShow

 

Please rate and review on your favorite podcast player. Follow me on Instagram @CourtneyBrame

Lauren just moved to Japan, had a new life starting for her teaching English and then BAM herpes. She finds herself being diagnosed by a Japanese doctor who just goes, "WOW" after visual confirmation of genital herpes. After a negative swab test, Lauren suffered from symptoms but couldn't get anyone to give a final confirmation with a blood test and treatment of the virus. She literally had to almost beg to have her vagina looked at (by a medical professional of course). 

Lauren was in a relationship with someone who was misinformed about herpes. Her ex said she had herpes once but it went away. Now, most of us who listen to this podcast are aware herpes doesn't just 'go away'. Lauren's now ex girlfriend may not have used the proper terminology at that point in time. Visibly, yes, herpes goes away but the virus doesn't leave your body.

Herpes for Lauren was a huge blessing. She originally thought this would fix her relationship that had many other issues, one of which being abuse. Herpes made it easier for her so she tried to make it work, but it just delayed the inevitible. Lauren says herpes saved her life. She found herself feeling alone, engaging in self-harm, drinking to fall asleep, even cutting herself. Lauren has stepped away from those behaviors and has incorporated many positive habits into her life such as exercising and cooking. She began to find her own identity outside of that relationship she was in or allowing those relationships to define her.

Lauren's advice to newly diagnosed people is to write love letters to yourself. Lose yourself inside yourself to find yourself.

My biggest takeaway from this episode is Lauren's openness so soon after her diagnosis. I love how open she is and how willing she was to disclose to people close to her for this being so new. We all have different experiences in life and I think she's had some in her life that prepared her for dealing with her diagnosis way better than a lot of us could have or will.

If you like this or any other episode, please don't hesitate to leave us a review. Please continue to support the show by rating/subscribing and letting people know about it. This is turning into so much more than just a lighthouse/resource connecting newly diagnosed people to resources available to them for support, this is changing people's lives ya'll. Mine especially because it gives me a new found sense of purpose. I appreciate all the guests and all the listeners for supporting the show on top of all the brave souls who put themselves out there constantly being rejected but still doing the right thing in hope of finding love. Thank you all.

I'm on social media @CourtneyBrame

Stay positive

Meet 40 year old Emma in the Bay area! 9 months diagnosed with HSV1 & HPV, open-minded Emma did NOT fit the mold of the kind of person she considered to have any stds. Mindfulness and self-awareness were key to Emma's bounce back from feeling like shit to the knowing that she is the shit.... as should you. 

You should listen to this episode if you're struggling to tell people close to you. Allow yourself to open up to the world around you, especially those most important to you that you feel compelled to tell.

The episode title says it all. You get tested and have your perception of yourself challenged. Once you realize you're THE shit, you stop feeling that way.

Personally, I came to like myself more around the people who knew I had herpes than I did around those who didn't know. There was no more hiding or shame, there was only awareness of inconsistency of my behaviors. I opened up to one friend, then another, then family members, and now anyone who listens to this or goes to my Instagram knows. And you know what? Most people really don't give a shit because it doesn't affect them. In dating, you have to realize who you are and your self worth. 

We often question whether or not a person will accept us for our condition, when in reality, you should ask if you accept them as a fit for your life. 

For updates on the podcast, check out @CourtneyBrame on Instagram.

Please Rate and Review the podcast on your podcast player.

Stay Positive

Stigma can't exist where there is open discussion and a safe space for understanding to develop. The thing about contracting an STI is that it is very rare that someone voluntarily acquires it. When it is acquired, the only way we have to process what it means for us is that now we're screwed because our sex-ed was 'wear condoms to avoid an STI'. Unfortunately we don't go beyond that level of education until the preventive measures have failed us. There should be more education on how to move forward in the event you are exposed to an STI. What do you do when someone discloses to you? What if you need to disclose your sex health status? Where are consistent facts? How do you find support?

Unfortunately all we have are people's experiences to assist with preparation, helping you manage life with an STI. Olivia shares with us her experience viewing herpes for what it really is. It's a virus! You know what else is a virus? A common cold. The herpes virus is just a tenant dwelling in the nerve endings around your mouth or at the base of the spine. Your common cold lives in your nose and throat. It's a cool tenant that resides in your body that lets you know when things aren't right in your life situation or body. (I have friends that don't even let me know when they see typos in my podcast descriptions) People will share with us that they have a cold and we don't go 'eww you're gross and have lots of partners you share breathing space with. Yet when we share that we have herpes and HIV, it's common for people to distance themselves permanently and assume we are dirty. Why isn't there a stigma for a common cold? This viral infection has no cure (sound familiar?). 

Stigma can't exist in a space where there is truth and open communication about the situation. Stigma is tied to shame. The anti-stigma is truth. The truth of the inevitibility of contracting an STI, the truth that it is manageable, the truth that we all know someone living with one. Talking about it is the beginning of the anti-stigma. One day we can all #WhatStigma and laugh about it.

Olivia Richman, AKA GlamourPuss, M.D. is a 3rd year medical student informing us about STIs, what a vagina can look like, the female reproductive system and more! She also discusses sexual harassment, assault, consent, what's inside a rape kit and redefining masculinity. Stay tuned for upcoming seasons about empowered relationships, healthy living & a 'teen's' life on her YouTube Channel.

Link to video versions available on GlamourPuss, M.D.'s YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/glamourpussmd 

Part 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mP0km8lG62E&t=5s

Part 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QvzQ50ZlStE

Olivia can also be found at her website: https://www.glamourpussmd.com/ as well as Instagram and Twitter @Glamourpussmd

***Disclaimer*** Olivia is NOT a physician/medical doctor and does not have her M.D. (yet). She chose this name because she intends to continue making informative YouTube videos and will attain her M.D. by 2019. She does not give medical advice. Please speak to your doctor if you have any questions regarding your reproductive health.

I'm on Social Media @CourtneyBrame. Please continue to subscribe to, rate and review the show! It's helping many people find it sooner and get the support they're seeking.

Stay Positive!

This episode marks the end of an era. Since 2017, the SPFPP podcast has held space for people navigating herpes stigma—but now, it’s time for a shift. I’m closing out Season 1 with some real talk about why I’m expanding the mission. It’s bigger than herpes. Season 2 will center more broadly around positivity—mental health, emotional healing, identity, and minimizing stigma across the board.

I share where I’ve been emotionally, what’s brought me here, and what I’ve learned about myself, relationships, and the weight of stigma—beyond just a herpes diagnosis. There’s grief, there’s liberation, and there’s clarity.

If you’ve been here since the early days, thank you. If you’re just finding this—welcome. Season 1 will live on as a resource. Season 2 is something that maintains the integrity of season 1 minus the herpes exclusivity, Something Positive for Positive People.

In honor of STI awareness month, we're releasing every episode as they are recorded. This episode features my friend Brynn, one of the first friends I disclosed to that I have herpes. Her deer in the headlights facial expression was misinterpreted for being surprised at my disclosure. After finally revising that day recently after deciding to record this episode together, it was in fact because of the moment of WHEN I decided to disclose to her. This disclosure was done out of a few different feelings, one being annoyed that she always gave me shit for having such a passive dating life, and then to just end my own mental misery that came from the strain of having to dismiss the encouragement to start dating again. This meant lying to myself and making excuses at least every Wednesday for happy hour margs and tacos and then Saturday nights for about 2 years.

I am fortunate to be surrounded by such great people in my life, but I wouldn't have known how great they were until having to test that. The best way to test the strength of a connection or open the door for it to take place, is to really allow yourself to be vulnerable to someone. They will either support you or reject the idea of providing support to you. In that case, you know where they stand and then you have to decide where you stand. After my disclosure to Brynn, our friendship grew and I earned the confidence to tell more of my friends, then everyone who knows I do this podcast. This is a great example of just how close support is for us during a challenging time, we just have to use it.

On top of her sharing her experience of thinking she had contracted herpes, Brynn has Type-1 diabetes which I think is an important element to consider here as to how supportive she was to me when I shared something I was secretly so emotional about at the time. We talk about how easy it is to be seen as handicapped because you just have to do some things a little different than most people, and not everyone will be okay with that. Which is fine because that goes to show you how they respond to you when things get challenging.

I'm on social media @CourtneyBrame

Please continue to like/rate/share/review this podcast. On a weekly basis I hear from people who find this podcast who put themselves out there to connect with others for support, dating and mutual interest groups who otherwise may not have found this show. Those reviews do way more good than you can imagine. Thank you for all your support!

Stay Positive!

In this episode, we dive deep into the complexities of relationships, focusing on conversations monogamous people need to be having—conversations often expected in non-monogamous relationships. Joined by a fellow herpes advocate, we explore topics such as ghosting, age differences, manipulation, and the impact of stigma on our self-esteem. We discuss the fear of disclosure, the importance of accountability, and how unhealthy relationships can sometimes divert our attention from what truly matters. Our guest shares insights from her journey through the kink community and how it shaped her communication skills, ultimately leading to a healthy marriage. We introduce the idea that the real challenge in relationships isn’t always finding someone else but learning to be vulnerable and open in communication. Stay tuned for part 2, where we’ll continue this important conversation!

Living with herpes, you have to learn to accept yourself before you can expect anyone else to. A couple questions addressed are: What does a person with herpes 'look' like? Are you settling for a partner JUST because THEY accept your condition? If you remove herpes from your life situation, what's left? 

The greatest takeaway here is for you to first disclose to yourself. You should be able to look yourself in the mirror, get comfortable with the word HERPES and say to yourself, "I have herpes AND..." what follows AND is all the things you value about yourself that don't relate (or do relate) to your sexuality. BUT NO HERPES INFLUENCE HERE!!!

I'm on Instagram @CourtneyBrame. New episodes will regularly be released on the first of each month with bonus episodes on the 15th of each month. If you haven't already, PLEASE Please please leave a review and a 5 star rating on your podcast player to help more people find the podcast and connect to resources for support. This show wouldn't be what it is without the guests and the listeners sharing, liking, rating and reviewing the podcast. Let's continue to get this out there! We all know someone living with an STI, we just may not know it.

Til next time, stay positive!

Heads up I talk about abortion from the lens of being a Man. This was supposed to be a 15 minute update, but the way grief works having come up on the anniversary of my grandma's funeral which happens to be my birthday, aside from me apologizing for my inconsistency the last month or two, apparently all this needed to come out as well.

Full blog post: https://spfpp.org/podcast/spfpp-359-23-years-of-grief

In SPFPP Episode 347: Who's Rejecting You?, we dive into the journey of a 37-year-old woman from Washington, D.C., who shares the emotional parallels between the grief of her marriage's end, the excitement of newfound sexual freedom, and the life-changing moment she was diagnosed with herpes. Together, we explore the complexities of dating with herpes, highlighting how dating itself can be challenging, with or without an STI. Our discussion also unpacks the concept of rejection, emphasizing the importance of maintaining high standards and seeking compatibility in relationships. Through our guest's experiences, we examine the significance of communication skills and intentionality in dating, while also reflecting on the shared struggles and challenges that go beyond herpes.

Here’s the link to the herpes disclosure workshop we mentioned in the recording: https://spfpp.org/offerings/p/herpes-disclosure-workshop

Courtney Brame returns to the SPFPP podcast with an exciting update—his first-ever in-person clinician training simulation focused on minimizing herpes stigma in medical settings. He shares behind-the-scenes insights on the simulation’s impact, lessons learned, and his vision for expanding this initiative nationwide. This episode also explores themes of self-expression, boundary-setting, and the importance of building stigma-free communities. Tune in for an honest reflection on personal and professional growth, upcoming events, and how you can support the movement for better herpes education.

Visit spfpp.org/training for more information!

Trigger warning - Our guest talks about having been drugged and raped leading to their positive HSV diagnosis. Please take care of yourself as you listen to this episode and understand the main takeaway here is to treat the trauma.

In this episode of Something Positive for Positive People (SPFPP), we dive deep into redefining sex positivity with Sol, a Black woman navigating herpes stigma, casual dating, and sexual exploration. Sol shares her journey of breaking away from vanilla sex expectations, growing up in a religious household, and finally finding her voice in the sex-positive community.

She talks about how past partners pushed her toward one-sided sex, where she never felt truly heard. From unfulfilling experiences like a three-year relationship where penetration and her needs were disregarded, to a partner who enjoyed causing her pain—Sol realized that sex wasn’t something that was being done with her, but to her. That changed when she found herself in spaces that focused on mutual respect, consent, and pleasure. It led her to explore settings like sex parties, where communication about desires and boundaries is not just encouraged, but required.

We discuss what it means to be pleasure positive—where the focus isn't on just saying yes or no, but on having honest conversations about needs, boundaries, and consent in a way that is safe and validating. Sol talks about how transformative it was to be in a setting where everyone asked before engaging and how that level of accountability makes all the difference.

This episode sets the tone for the upcoming Safe Sex Expo, where we'll continue these discussions, offering workshops on communication, consent, and pleasure. If you’re curious about sex positivity, or just tired of the same old "vanilla" conversations about sex, this one's for you. And come check out our events like the Safe Sex Expo to learn more.

49 year old Soiesette is HSV2 positive. Our conversation more so focuses on her willingness to continue a marriage with her husband who found out he was HIV positive after going to the doctor for a foot problem he was having that didn't appear to go away.

Soiesette spent the next year going to get tested every three months and by the end was negative for HIV. She accepted her husband's diagnosis and trusted in the vow she made both to the man she married and God. They went through counseling together in order to continue the marriage. With medication and research showing the reduction of risk of transmission, she was willing to go through the process for the sake of her marriage. The one thing that held them back was her husband's mindset of "If I have sex with my wife, I will kill her". For that reason, they parted ways and my homegirl Soiesette is on the market ya'll! They still have a positive relationship with one another.

What I want to highlight here is her husband's mindset about killing his wife if they have sex. This is a normal fear to have. Nobody wants an STI. Nobody wants to pass on an STI to a loved one. We often block our own blessings due to our own stubbornness and we punish ourselves with exile and isolation to a degree even when we don't HAVE to do that. Love is unconditional, we shouldn't block ourselves from this type of loving energy by shutting off to those willing to take the risk with us because we are in fact worth it! I do not know what I'd do in this particular situation even given the knowledge we have now or the medication that reduces the risk. I don't think any of us can say unless we are in this situation. Soiesette obviously felt this man was worth the risk, even though her HSV-2 increased her risk of contracting HIV. 

For more information on Soiesette and her involvement in the community, visit: www.agiftofpurpose.com

Follow Something Positive for Positive People on Instagram @CourtneyBrame

Please rate and review the show on your podcast player.

Stay Positive.

Here's the highly anticipated part 2 to Dale's episode! Off the record I asked if Dale were open to sharing Dale's personal experience in their sex life. I'm getting better about the she/her him/her they/their pronouns. I butchered it in the beginning of this episode :/ . 

This episode highlights Dale's open-mindedness. Being non-binary non-monogamous really leaves the door open to all types of explorating with various anatomies. 

Negotiations really stood out to me in this convo we had. The idea of having a full conversation of what to expect (SHOULD CONSENT BE EXCHANGED BY ALL PARTIES) never occurred to me. This communication is where all assumptions can be eliminated. You can express what you're into and allow the other person/people to express what they're into, discuss sexual health, and this makes it easier to relax into the experience of freaky thangs. Note that negotiations don't mean consent. Negotiations mean these are the things that are on the table. Consent should be exchanged still.

Dale manages the social media pages dedicated to sex ed and the destigmitization of herpes. On Instagram, Dale is @_I_have_herpes_

I can be found on social media @CourtneyBrame

Please continue to review/comment/share/like/rate this podcast. The people finding it are being directed to resources helping them tremendously. Literally at 1pm central time today, someone on Reddit said they were diagnosed yesterday and found this show and that it helped them a lot. Thank you all!

Never settle in a relationship. Despite being diagnosed with herpes, you shouldn’t make yourself be somewhere you don’t want to be. You don’t have to stay because of feelings of unworthiness.

Our guest from this episode introduced me to pansexuality, what it means to be kinky, what non-binary is and for the first time, brought the pronoun conversation to me. Herpes positive, polyamorous and pansexual, our guest talks about the role having HSV plays in their sex life.

*Trigger Warning* In this episode of Something Positive for Positive People, 26 year old Katie talks about her experience with HSV-2 which she contracted 3 years ago from a sexual assault. At 2:00 into the episode it is first mentioned. At 6:00 into the episode, Katie tells the story of her sexual assault. This story and conversation ends at 24:30 just before you hear me say, "Now back to the herpes". 

Shortly after her diagnosis of HSV-2, she met and disclosed to her now boyfriend putting her at a 100% successful disclosure rate. Just a heads up for all the haters lol.  

I would like to ask for your forgiveness for making the statement that makes Katie's sexual assault makes everyone else's means of contracting their std seem like nothing. So for that I apologize. I caught it in the moment but continued to say it anyway. My friend I had proof-listen to this episode pointed it out to me. 

Follow me on Instagram @CourtneyBrame for more updates on the podcast. Episodes will be released regularly on the first of each month with bonus episodes in between. I'm always looking for guests to share their experience with stds and skin to skins (My attempt to de-stigmitize the skin to skin virus, herpes).

Stay Positive!

In this episode of Something Positive for Positive People, I get personal about my experience with Yoga Therapy after being diagnosed with herpes. We go into what Yoga Therapy is, how it’s different from traditional therapy, and why it’s such a game-changer for managing the emotional and physical toll that comes with living with herpes. I also talk about the role of emotional wellness, and how yoga practices can help with stress, identifying triggers, and improving overall well-being. If you're navigating stigma and looking for another way to take care of your mental health, this episode will give you something new to consider.

I recorded this episode on the 12-year anniversary of my herpes diagnosis. In it, I talk openly about the grief I've been processing following a recent breakup, and how anger—something I’ve long masked with niceness—has been quietly shaping my relationships, my work, and my sense of self. I explore how my childhood experiences, emotional suppression, and fear of being perceived as violent have all played a role in keeping me from fully expressing what I need. This is about reclaiming my anger—not as something destructive, but as a compass that points to my unmet needs, boundaries, and desires. It’s also about integrating the split versions of myself I’ve been moving through: the safe, stoic me and the playful, impulsive one. This episode is as much a check-in with y’all as it is with myself.

I often tell people how important it is that we not identify with our herpes diagnosis ONLY for me to look up and realize I've been doing this very thing myself. On today's episode, I speak to changing this, and what it looks like for you to change it as well. If you struggle with herpes stigma and want different for yourself, check out Something Positive for Positive People for resources to help you through the emotional and psychological impacts that come with a diagnosis.

Alright y’all, this episode marks a bit of a shift for SPFPP. For years, we’ve focused on dating with herpes—what it looks like, how to navigate it—but today, we’re stepping into something new: the other side of dating, being in a relationship.

As someone who’s been talking about dating with herpes since 2017, it feels only natural for the podcast to evolve with where I’m at in my own life. Truth is, herpes isn’t a big deal to me anymore, especially now that I’m in a relationship. So it’s time for me to start talking about what this next chapter looks like.

This episode is all about being vulnerable, and y’all, I’ve been feeling the pull to share more of myself—my experiences, my challenges, and my growth. If you listened to Episode 259 where I talked about my grandmother, you know what I mean. I’m finishing Yoga Therapy school, moving in with my girlfriend, planning for a family, and just really leaning into what matters to me now.

I want to know where you’re at, too. Have your values changed? Are you looking for something different from SPFPP? Let me know! Let’s build this next phase of SPFPP together.

Nanette returns to us to share how group support helped Nanette make the connection that birthed ProjectAccept.org in addition to various social media interest groups for people living with herpes. Nanette talks a little about how contracting herpes helped with her bedside manners interacting with patients.

There's a ton of inaccurate or inconsistent information available to the public from credible resources but the information is presented in ways to skew statistics. One example is referring to the statistics of people living with genital HSV-1 being one number, but living with genital herpes (which includes HSV-1 and HSV-2) showing the same numbers. This kind of miseducation makes it difficult to be taken serious when presenting facts that don't support equally credible sources.

Social support has tremendously helped me. I immersed myself in chatrooms and connected with people had it not been for herpes, I would never have met otherwise. Social support in this context means to socialize with individuals who understand what you're going through so well that it doesn't even have to come up. In social support, there's a level of freedom where you get to genuinely just BE yourself around a group of people. For Nanette, it started at a barbecue, for myself, it was a float trip. Tremendous psychological gains were made as a result of getting out of my comfort zone. I'm forever thankful for the social support and the person who introduced me to it.

Project Accept is another resource for us. One of their goals is to provide consistent, accurate and REAL information about HSV and HPV to the public. They recognize the emotional and physical struggle of a herpes diagnosis and is here to help. For information on the support discussion referenced in this episode, visit: http://projectaccept.org/support-discussion-information/ to register. Visit their website: www.projectaccept.org for more information.

Check in on the hashtag, #SomethingPositiveForPositivePeople if you aren't comfortable following the social media pages of an #STDPodcast. I'll share things I like as well as updates of the show/episodes and all that fun stuff. I'm still on social media @CourtneyBrame. If you want to share your story, feel free to shoot me a message.

Stay Positive!

I interview Soraia Papaya, who uses she/they pronouns. Whenever I go into an interview, I set the standard that I would probably say the wrong thing or ask a ridiculous question. Fortunately everyone so far has been cool in correcting me. I asked about their use of she/they pronouns, some stereotypes within stereotypes around bisexuality such as this inherent belief of hyper promiscuity, inherent nonmonogamy, and association with transphobia which was completely new to me. We talk about this bi erasure through a push toward pansexuality in order to not exclude trans folx. There’s also this idea that bisexual people aren’t sure of their sexuality, and Soraia talks through her own experiences facing some of these stereotypes on Episode 87 of Something Positive for Positive People. I’d say until recent conversations, I’ve shared some beliefs in some misconceptions as well. The thing about assumptions is that we’re either so confident in them that they don’t come up, or they don’t come up because we fear receiving a negative response from the person we ask. It can almost be perceived as a form of rejection if we approach it from a right/wrong standpoint. It’s about allowing ourselves to be redirected so that we can be more connected. In being able to speak with Soraia and sharing it on SPFPP, I hope you’re able to challenge your own assumptions and allow for deeper, more evolved connections to take place in your life. Find me at www.spfpp.org because that’s an expensive website and we need the traffic lol. Stay Sex Positive! Soraia can be found on Instagram @transformativesexologist Mentioned resources from this episode: “Bi: Notes for a Bisexual Revolution” by Shiri Eisner

So what do my ex’s have to do with this? Literally everything. I had this EXperience with anxiety, I EXplored the behavior and emotions behind them. Through this came a need to EXpress which I was not healthily doing before due to the lack of awareness. I took different action through that anxiety and used it as fuel for expression. Communicating this was challenging at first but the confidence that followed allowed me to share or EXchange with others in a vulnerable fashion which led to further EXpansion of my own perspective. What do your Ex's have to teach you? Do we have the same ones making us EX-kimo siblings? haha that was a reach! Stay Sex Positive!

One of my favorite people I've yet to meet in real life, Christie Federico, Sexuality & Soul Alignment Coach joins SPFPP for a very lighthearted, fun conversation about self-worth. Applied to dating, it is important to know who you are, what's important to you, and have ways to identify if what's important to you is also important to prospective partners. Get this dating advice from a dating coach and if you're someone who'd like support in your dating life, don't hesitate to reach out to Christie about coaching! About Christie: Christie Federico, M.Ed., is a Relationship + Sexual Empowerment Coach. She works with individuals and groups, helping them feel confident and fully expressed in their bodies, sexualities, and entire lives. Christie empowers her clients to align all aspects of their lives with their authentic selves so they can lead a life of meaning, deep connection, pleasure, and fulfillment. visit www.christiefederico.com and follow her on Instagram @christiefederico If you have the means and want to support what we're doing at SPFPP, visit www.spfpp.org and consider donating what you can to help us continue to expand. Stay Sex Positive!

Primarily masculine identifying people connect with me about the quantitative information about herpes and the primarily feminine identifying people connect with me about the qualitative information about herpes. I want to test this by getting more men on the podcast so fellas, let's step up. I know there's a fear around being vulnerable and open about sexuality and the feelings behind a diagnosis but it's the only way to lower boundaries and connect! We gotta match that energy being expressed in this space. If you have the means to do so, please consider donating to Something Positive for Positive People by visiting www.spfpp.org. This supports the podcast and getting people living with an STI with therapy if they're struggling with their diagnosis. If that's a lot for you right now, please leave a review on whatever podcast player you're listening on. Stay Sex Positive!

Trigger warning as we cover domestic abuse. Please protect yourself as we get to that part early on in the episode. Most of our focus is on self-image and body positivity. Check your self-talk. If you have a hard time checking how you speak to yourself, then act out of accordance with those negative thoughts. Challenge hateful THOUGHTS with loving ACTIONS and see how that voice changes for you. Please take the survey monkey to help us get in front of some very influential people who can make things happen for spfpp. One o my goals is to make finding support less challenging for people when they're diagnosed. Answering this two question survey gives me the data to get there (End date July 25, 2019): https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/XMTLTL8 This is the event I hope to attend: http://www.ncsddc.org/std-engage-2019/ Thank you all for your support. With a $25+ donation to spfpp.org send me your t-shirt size and address if you're in the USA and I'll send you a t-shirt! Stay sex positive! About the guest: Emily "Keanunani" Arnstein is a former ballerina who spent her young life struggling with self-image after being criticized by the dance community for not having the right body shape and size. As an adult, she overcame these negative thought patterns by developing self-talk strategies, understanding the "function" of the body as it relates to health and fitness rather than placing the value of self-worth on physical appearance, and surrounding herself by an accepting and supportive community. She now studies and performs Hawaiian hula (a body-positive and accepting dance community) and aims to pay forward her improved sense of self to help empower others to overcome challenges with health, fitness, and body image, and to help them recognize their ability to make positive changes in their own lives. Website: teespring.com/stores/healthy-hula-girl Instagram: @Healthyhulagirl Facebook: Healthy Hula Girl

I share the details of the recent survey I took from listeners living with herpes about their initial negative emotional responses to their diagnosis and how listening to Something Positive for Positive People has helped them.

Ella Dawson, known for her TEDx Talk titled 'STIs aren't a consequence. They're inevitable' which has received more than 500k views, steps out of retirement from herpes activism to share her experience as an activist. We talk about setting boundaries, dating sites, ways to avoid burnout during activism. This is encouragement not just for the herpes activists because it relates to all activism.

How could Disney have made someone kinky? Should you disclose your herpes status in kink scenes? How do you know if you’re kinky? What’s the difference between being dominant and abusive? How does being kinky help you in business? The answer is to listen to episode 85 of Something Positive for Positive People! Veronica Yanhs, a multi-passionate Kink & BDSM Educator breaks down all these for us in this episode. During our chat, we uncover my own personal beliefs about kink and what dominance and submission have looked like in past relationships. I’ve always felt a certain pull toward dominance, because that’s where my arousal leads me. Thing is, there’s a guilt there that created a resistance to naturally falling into what feels right for me and brings me the most pleasure. Veronica’s words opened that up for me to begin to challenge my beliefs and begin to heal that wound by going in and reshaping the story with the truth. So I’m on that journey. After hearing this episode, what journey will you be on? Let me know what ya’ll think of the website www.spfpp.org and let me know if you have any feedback. I’m on social media @HOnMyChest Considering exploring Dominant/Submissive kink dynamic? Click Here to join the waiting list for the book for beginners & starter pack! About Veronica - Veronica is a multi-passionate entrepreneur on a mission to strip people bare—of the expectations and limiting beliefs that do not serve them—so they can thrive unapologetically exactly as they are. From systems to spankings, she emboldens womxn to leverage their pleasure and power in business and the bedroom with Business Laid Bare (systems for creatives and entrepreneurs that scale and save their sanity) and Desires Laid Bare (kink education for beginners in a fun and shame-free way). She gets all hot and bothered by diligent process, thoughtful protocols, and high-quality service: from the spreadsheets to the bedsheets. Website: www.veronicayanhs.com Instagram: @veronicayanhs Email: hey@belaidbare.com Book: https://www.desireslaidbare.com/ds-guide-waitlist/

Billy dated his partner for 7 months before they became aware of his positive HIV status. Billy's story shows what it really means to support a partner during a challenging time in their life. While he has not tested positive for HIV himself, the perspective Billy has is one from seeing how a partner's internalization of a positive diagnosis can effect everything around us. This is a damn good episode to listen to if you are considering dating someone with a positive STI status and if you're someone who is positive but you can't get over the fact that you may expose your partner to your condition. This discordant conversation has come up often recently in DMs and this story is a REAL instance of what it can look like when a person literally forces another away due to their own feelings about their positive diagnosis. Oh and SVAKOM was kind enough to offer us a huge discount on their pleasure toys! Visit www.svakom.net and select your items. When you get to checkout, use the promo code +people (plus sign people all one word) to get 40% off your purchase! Cearra and I are fans of this pleasure toy company and appreciate the recommendation from Instagram's S.xuallectual who introduced us to this company's products. Check out the website! It's live! www.spfpp.org Working on language but I'm so pumped to have this up it doesn't even matter ha! Billy can be found on Instagram for more sex ed and STI facts in their Facebook stories: @billyroyperez and @svakomusa Connect with me through the website www.spfpp.org Stay Sex Positive!

Lindsey informs us about another common virus in the herpes family, cytomegalovirus defined by the CDC as: Cytomegalovirus (pronounced sy-toe-MEG-a-low-vy-rus), or CMV, is a common virus that infects people of all ages. Over half of adults by age 40 have been infected with CMV. Once CMV is in a person’s body, it stays there for life and can reactivate. Most people infected with CMV show no signs or symptoms. However, CMV infection can cause serious health problems for people with weakened immune systems and for unborn babies https://www.cdc.gov/cmv/index.html Given the political climate we're in right now where reproductive rights are being restricted, the timeliness of this episode is important for a number of reasons. Lindsey shares her experience through her pregnancy where she finds out after alerting the doctor that she knew something wasn't right with her body repeatedly and then being dismissed, only to find out later that at some point she had been exposed to CMV during her pregnancy. Lindsey found out about this several weeks into the pregnancy and was given the information on what the baby's life could look like if she chose to go through with birthing the child. She was informed about the child's potential disabilities and challenges it would face IF it would not be stillborn. Lindsey was given a choice and made the choice that she felt was best for her. For more information on CMV please visit www.nationalcmv.org If you'd like to purchase a SPFPP t-shirt to support the nonprofit, Something Positive for Positive People, please let me know and we can figure out how to get that to you. They are $25. I'll make a real announcement once the website goes live. I'm on social media at HOnMyChest. Stay Sex Positive!

If you are curious about non monogamy or interested in opening your relationship, I encourage you to consider checking out this podcast episode. Dr. Stephanie K. Webb teaches an online course you can sign up for at www.unscriptedrelationships.com that is an introduction to opening up your relationship. I enjoyed this course as it is hands on and there's a workbook that helps you put what you're hearing to paper which allows you to challenge beliefs you may have had before. Dr. Stephanie defines cheating for us. I have always thought people who were non monogamous couldn't cheat because their partners knew they were involved with other people. Dr. Stephanie corrected me on that one real quick haha. We also talk about love in comparison to commitment, rules in comparison to boundaries, compulsory monogamy and ethical monogamy and I did my best to keep this around 1 hour for everyone to make it through. Depending on the feedback, we may be able to convince Dr. Stephanie to come back for a part 2. Let us know what you think. Please leave a rating and review for this episode and share with your frans! This was great! About Dr. Stephanie:https://www.unscriptedrelationships.com/about-me Follow Dr. Stephanie on Instagram @Unscriptedrelationships I'm on social media @HOnMyChest Also we have $25 t-shirts. The money that comes in will go toward development for the nonprofit functions of Something Positive for Positive People. For more details just contact me on social media or email me: courtneywbrame@gmail.com Stay Sex Positive!

There’s a range of emotions that come with dating. While it starts often with physical attraction, it’s common to decide to look at the more important things once the person has you by the eyes. From there, you choose to have a written exchange if you’re on a dating site like Dating Positives, or a verbal exchange if you’re in a social setting. From there you’re deciding whether or not this person is compatible with you. What’s amazing about this process is that you are naturally empowered as the chooser. “Are they a fit for me?” is the question we’re answering during the exchange with the potential partner. By the end of the exchange, we know if we want another one or if there’s no need for doing it again. If not, we move on and repeat this process with the next potential partner. And then there’s those of us who can’t relate to the luxury of being able to decide based on appearance if someone is a fit for us. Physical attraction, conversation, lifestyle, etc. tends to carry a much lighter load when you seek partners based on whether or not you’re a fit for them. I struggled with this after my positive herpes diagnosis for years. I began to look at prospective partners based on how they viewed me. Am I a right fit for you? What can I do to be a better fit? And then there was always the lingering covert expectation of “if I’m everything else they need in a partner, then they won’t mind that I have herpes”. Where did these thoughts come from between the time I likely contracted herpes and when I actually found out I had herpes? Nothing changed except for the fact that I was now aware of something that just lived in my body. I let its coming out of hiding completely change the way I did dating and relationships. I found someone who was able to elaborate almost parallel to my experience around this time and decided to have a conversation with her on the Something Positive for Positive People Podcast where I interviewed her about dating with herpes. Our guest for this episode talks about making dating decisions from this space of being chosen rather than being the chooser and just how it can mess with your head to have to potentially deal with that rejection, especially in a casual dating environment. Living in Bali, she shares the experiences she’s had disclosing her positive status to partners and the various responses she’s gotten from partners still not wanting to use condoms, changing their mind from accepting her status to not accepting it, the importance of disclosing to casual partners or not disclosing, and then of course being flat out rejected. Check out this episode to hear about Adrienne’s experience casual dating and disclosing and not disclosing to partners in this casual atmosphere. What we learned from these experiences and what her audience on Instagram surprisingly thinks about whether or not to disclose to casual sexual partners. About the guest: Adrienne Rommel, is a Certified Nutritional Practitioner, Yoga Teacher and Mindfulness Coach from Toronto, Canada has a passion for women’s sexual health and wellness. As a 37-year young woman, she’s struggled with her own Yoni and sexual health issues since she was a teenager. For her, it was the lack of sexual education and increased antibiotic use as a child, long-term birth control pill use, lack of STI awareness, bad diet, high stress lifestyle and unresolved emotional trauma that contributed to her own personal sexual health issues. Having struggled with her own sexual health for half her life, she’s lived with HSV-2 genitally for 16 years and is prone to yeast infections, but has healed herself through diet and natural holistic wellness and healing practices. Experiencing it first-hand and having the knowledge as a Certified Holistic Nutritionist, she helps women who are struggling with their own personal Yoni and sexual health issues, heal their bodies and Yoni’s from the inside out, just like she healed her own. She is also a new member of the Herpes Activist Network Dismantling Stigma, HANDS! Adrienne can be connected with on: Instagram, Facebook, Youtube @YoniNutritionist and her website is www.yoninutritionist.com Support the show by becoming a patron at Patreon.com/spfpp If you like this episode please like, rate, review and share this podcast! I’m on social media @HOnMyChest! Stay sex positive!

Johana Dominguez teaches us that while it could always be worse, things ALWAYS can be better. Living 8 years with genital HSV taught her to shift that negative self talk. Below are some great takeaways from this SPFPP episode - There's always someone there to support you - We are in control of what happens within us - Say it until you believe it and absorb relative content the person you want to be would take in - It's easier to share your status to infinite strangers than to loved ones - Her only regret is not having told her family sooner - Distractions in relationships Johana can be found on: Instagram @IAmCoachJo Facebook: Johana Dominguez Coaching Website: www.johanadominguez.com The Patreon Page is live if you want to support the show financially: patreon.com/spfpp and if you'd rather support another way, please subscribe to the podcast and leave a review. I can be found on Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr and Reddit @HOnMyChest (H-ON-MY-CHEST is the pronunciation) Stay Sex Positive!

St. Louis MO - We've seen a rise in new cases of syphilis and discuss some of the contributions there. We discuss not only stigma factors but also the influence of politics in availability for medical treatment. There's an exclusive announcement in this podcast episode as to another service PP will be providing really soon from the time of release. The internal condom has come up a few times over the last two weeks so we also discuss that. Planned Parenthood offers a wide range of services that goes beyond family planning and sexual health services. They offer cancer screenings ya'll! And as the title suggests, we talk more about syphilis and its rising. Use these services, get tested and if you come up positive, seek treatment. Know your status and get yourself tested! I'm on social media @HOnMyChest (especially Instagram where I"m most active) Please rate, review and share this podcast to show your support to the community or you can financially support the podcast at www.patreon.com/spfpp Stay Sex Positive!

Texas Wears Condoms is a San Antonio based organization that ships 25 condoms per month to Texas residents for no cost. I had the pleasure of speaking with Ambie, the Community Outreach Specialist about her role and get more details about the organization. www.texaswearscondoms.org is where you can go to place your order today! Nonprofit organizations such as this one add so much value to destigmatizing STIs by providing a safe space for people to get the resources they need for their sexual health. Please support them if you can by utilizing their service or volunteering to help with packaging and distribution. Call their Volunteer Services line at 210-743-5730 or visit www.universityhealthsystem.com for more opportunities. There is also an anonymous Q&A with Ambie at www.tumblr.com/txwearscondoms The Patreon page is up if you'd like to financially support Something Positive for Positive People and that link is www.patreon.com/spfpp . I'm on Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr and Reddit @HonMyChest. Please support the show by sharing it with someone who can benefit from the content and leave us a review to help us grow. Stay Sex Positive!

www.breakinghivstigma.org is an online platform aimed to normalize conversations around HIV/AIDS. We're in a time where these are manageable conditions and they need to be treated as such. Rashard and I address HIV's prevalence in the black community and how harmful the stigma is in relation to people prioritizing their own pride over their physical health. What could've been 2 episodes easily, has been trimmed down to 1 longer one. We discuss race which is something I know can be touchy, but as a community of sex positive people, this is something that has relevance to this particular conversation and we can all find useful if we listen. Leave a review, share the podcast, or join the Patreon to financially support the podcast at www.patreon.com/spfpp I'm on Instagram (most active there) @HOnMyChest. And I'm on Twitter, Tumblr and Reddit. Stay Sex Positive!

Experiencing rejection is one of those things that's always a challenge emotionally. What helps is being able to reframe the idea that "being rejected" means anything more than that the other person just acknowledges that they can't sustain being the kind of person they need to be in order to be in relationships with us. When we reject others, why is it so easy for us to do that? Just a few things to reflect on when thinking about rejection.

The ideation of Something (sex) Positive for (sex) Positive People had multiple catalysts and this experience was one of them. Adding to the goals, I choose to uplift organizations such as this Nonprofit, St. Louis Effort for AIDS that provide services to people who are positive with HIV and AIDS, as well as offer sex education resources, free condoms, free STD testing and affordable treatment! My experience led me to believe the destigmatization of herpes, the shame around contracting an STI, and unwillingness to know your status stems from the belief that you'll be judged for engaging in sexual activities with partners. When I was tested, while I identify as cis-gendered, heterosexual male, he/him prounouns, I was asked that. I was asked if I was or engaged in sexual acts with sex-workers, trans-people, other cis-men, and I felt the intention was genuinely to be able to inform me according to my sexual preferences and how my health could be affected based on any health risks associated with the kind of sex I have. Uplifting these shame free environments and making it normal to seek regular STI treatment, use these free condoms and get treated soon will help create space for people to be more understanding and aware of the risks that come with having partnered sex so that we're better prepared for how to deal with and manage an STI if we are exposed to one or if someone discloses to us that they have one. This allows for a partner to make a more educated/informed decision while creating shame-free space where the person disclosing is empowered to continue disclosing and giving partners that choice again and again if relevant.  The compassion and empathy I was met with was beyond anything I received at an organization whose services I paid for. This nonprofit is just one of many all over the world that offers these services and I encourage everyone to utilize them. I challenge you listeners of this podcast to find, use, and share these resources so that it's more taboo NOT to know your status than it is to be positive so that we can begin to get treatment early and give sexual partners all the info they need to make a fully consensual decision to move forward sexually with us. Enjoy this episode. This organization is www.viventhealth.org and their Instagram is @viventhealth. I'm on Instagram @HOnMyChest Stay Positive!

A woman who believes in the power of knowing and loving yourself, Erica sees beauty in ordinary things & has an artsy, creative side. In her eyes, sexuality is such a fundamental part of us as human beings & is at the root of what makes a person who they are. Through her work, she endeavors to unblock situations that keep one from sexual fulfillment by normalizing natural human sexual behavior. Her Instagram page @s.xuallectual is an extension of her being. Check out this episode as she shares her chlamydia horror story and having to navigate the challenge of disclosing an STD to not one but two partners! Her story teaches us to move forward in a more informed way. While many of us disconnect from our bodies and sex after having been exposed to an STD, Erica shares a useful way to communicate with your partner(s) to better understand the potential risks of sexual encounters and how to move forward. If you’d like to work together, Erica’s job will be toward a jointly constructed action-plan designed to move toward your goals. Your job will be to set the agenda which can include any facet of your sex life in which you seek improvement, enhancement, or expansion. Erica is Consensual Non-Monogamy, Kink, BDSM, LGBTQ+ and Sex Worker Friendly. Connect @sexuallectual@gmail.com

Piggybacking off of Rae's episode where we discuss support groups, we have Heather who runs the support group HSV in the City www.hsvinthecity.com and is on Instagram @hsvinthecity. Heather didn't have support groups in her local area. Through Instagram's Positive.Results.ATX she found support but way on the other side of the country. In this group, she was encouraged to create something she needed and didn't have access to and here we are. She also shares her own experience having been diagnosed accidentally without consenting to the test. Listen to why this is one of the best things to ever have happened to her! If you are in the Washington D.C. area seeking support, don't hesitate to connect with Heather! Stay Positive! Those Break the Stigma Day (April 24th 2019) hashtags are: #btsd #breakthestigma #whatstigma #herpesstigma

At long last we finally get an interview with Rae, who manages support groups in Austin, Texas for women living with HSV under the Instagram handle: @positive.results.atx We talk about support groups and a little bit about what managing them may look like for someone considering doing so. We bring up the healing power we receive in giving, and of as the title says, "Choosing the Better Option". "Rae is a ray of sunshine" is a cheesy understatement when she herself embodies the sun itself with her presence. A Sister Servant and amazing friend to have, I'm so honored to have been able to share your story on this platform to help people. Connect with Rae on IG @positive.results.atx and check out some of the amazing work she does uplifting the Sisterhood she represents to the fullest! Stay Positive!

Our guest spent years of self criticism and internal chaos until she found her yoga practice which influenced her mindfulness. Learning to increase her own mindfulness and self awareness she's able to demonstrate to us how we can approach life circumstances with more compassion towards ourselves in a way that lightens the world and how we feel about ourselves. We discuss self compassion and its application towards a positive diagnosis or anything that occurs in life. I'm on social media @honmychest Stay Positive!

Fellow HANDS (Herpes Activists Networking to Dismantle Stigma) member Ana Pelaez shares her experience continuing a relationship with an HSV diagnosis after his disclosure to her. This conversation brought out some of my mommy/daddy issues, we use mental masturbation as a placeholder for mind fuck which is exactly what we do to ourselves often after a diagnosis, and we discuss the using our sexual energy in a way that works for us. Ana is on Instagram @ampm_coach Check out www.waxoh.com to see some of the blogs I submit on topics revolving around helping destigmatize STIs and a little bit of my own experiences as well. Leave a review if you like this content and Stay Positive!

Answering all the questions we got in for this solo episode and addressing the unhealthy attachment I found myself to have with recent rejection. Info for Laureen HD's project we all can get involved with: Laureen HD partnered with Stevi Sesin to create a special edition of her art project ‘The Art of Loving Your Selfie’ called ‘Under My Skin’. The project will be an art exhibition running in Berlin, Germany featuring art pieces of people with STIs reclaiming their outlook on their body. The aim behind the project is to not only show the world that having an STI doesn’t make someone unattractive, but more importantly to push the conversation around body positivity to include people with STIs. They’re recruiting any person who has been diagnosed with an incurable STI - can be herpes (genital or oral), HIV, HPV - whose diagnosis has affected their relationship with their body. This person needs to be willing to be public about their diagnosis and be 18+. For the stories selected, the project will involve two things: sending a picture showcasing the level of nudity participants are comfortable with, which will then be turned into art in the style of The Art of Loving Your Selfie.Check our Laureen HD’s instagram to see what that looks like. sending a voice note of you telling your story. If you are interested, send an email to tellmemorelaureen@gmail.com with a paragraph of 150words max talking about how comfortable/uncomfortable your STI diagnosis made you feel in your own skin. DO NOT SEND A PICTURE OF YOURSELF YET. Stay Positive!

What would you do with the freed up energy you've given to you HSV diagnosis? Have you been obsessed with thoughts in your head about keeping your secret safe from the world? Are you living in fear of what would happen if anyone found out you were living with genital herpes? Would you be bored and restless or would you find another thing to give energy to in your life? Maybe something you can change? Our guest, Aaron Sager shares his experience and how opening up led him to his current partner who at the time was HSV negative. This acceptance couldn't have happened had Aaron not owned his truth in order to make himself seen by those who are meant to be in his life. Stop hiding and apply your restrictive energy to something more useful. Please leave a review if you enjoyed this episode or want to hear more from Aaron. Connect with him on Instagram @AaronSager_. Dating Positives is a supporter of #SPFPP. Check out their blog WAXOH.com for some of the blog contributions I've made about my personal experience living with HSV. Stay Positive!

Showing support to someone opening up about their positive HSV status is a challenge on both ends. The person who chose to disclose to you feels safe doing so. Many times they may not NEED anything from you but to listen. They just may need to say it out loud. The best thing you can do is allow them to say what they have to say. Be present with them. And as someone disclosing, allow the other person to have their feelings about it as well. Herpes disclosures are awkward on all sides because we just don't know how the other person feels about it so we have to gauge emotions in that often awkward silence, and that's okay. This episode is useful to anyone who may not have had anyone disclose to them yet, or recently someone has disclosed to you and you are seeking guidance to navigate the conversation. The person disclosing fears judgment that their character is now that of the stigma. Assure them they are not the stigma by encouraging them to challenge their beliefs about the stigma to their experience. Destigmatizing herpes starts with the people who have herpes. Stay Positive!

A good scare creates space for empathy. Think of all the times fear drove you to seek knowledge. Fellow HANDS member, Carlee and I discuss her experience after her HSV diagnosis and how she's managed it and been able to be so open about it in order to help others. Rate, review and subscribe to this podcast to show your support and help us get more amazing guests who are open about their diagnosis and help others find the emotional aftercare necessary after a positive diagnosis. Carlee is on Instagram @itscarleefit and I'm @HOnMyChest Stay Positive!

Erin Devost hosts the Herp A Derp Podcast whose purpose is to empower the community to break the herpes stigma. She shares her experience that led her to openly discussing her experiences after her HSV diagnosis in hopes of assisting others in navigating their own experiences. Having never been in a relationship, now having to disclose gave her less hope of being in one. Here's how she got to where she is now. Listen to Herp A Derp Podcast on YouTube here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvDpnhUVksIxQhYFj2SgPPQ Follow the Herp A Derp Podcast Facebook page and Erin is on Instagram @herpaderppodcast I'm on social media @HOnMyChest!

*Trigger Warning - We are continuing the discussion with Genie from Part 1 of episode 64, Understanding Abuse. In this episode's conclusion, we see how justice was served for our survivor who used her HSV-2 (primarily genital herpes) diagnosis as fuel to get out of a bad situation. Thanks to Sex Positive Families for providing useful resources to help us navigate challenging conversations around sex especially with our families and youth. A useful resource on this is: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/how-to-talk-to-kids-sexual-abuse_us_5c3fac5ee4b027c3bbbdb667 Please follow @sexpositive_families on Instagram for much more info. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, please visit the National Domestic Violence Hotline's website: https://www.thehotline.org/help/help-for-friends-and-family/ Please if you are a survivor of domestic/sexual violence/abuse DO NOT feel like you have to listen to this episode or part 2. It was important that this be easy to listen to and that we see an example of a survivor coming forward and having justice served. I'm on social media @HOnMyChest! Stay Positive!

*Trigger Warning - This interview was bumped up in light of the Surviving R. Kelly documentary. @VRFreeny shouted out the podcast on January 5, 2019 just saying for people to check it out. I haven't watched the documentary nor do I plan to. Genie, (this guest) and I had been talking about setting up a recording for after the pending episodes have been posted, but she and I both felt compelled to get together as soon as possible. Part 1 of this episode helps us understand Genie's abuse. Part 2 is where we see justice served. Thanks to Sex Positive Families for providing useful resources to help us navigate challenging conversations around sex especially with our families and youth. A useful resource on this is: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/how-to-talk-to-kids-sexual-abuse_us_5c3fac5ee4b027c3bbbdb667 Please follow @sexpositive_families on Instagram for much more info. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, please visit the National Domestic Violence Hotline's website: https://www.thehotline.org/help/help-for-friends-and-family/ Please if you are a survivor of domestic/sexual violence/abuse DO NOT feel like you have to listen to this episode or part 2. It was important that this be easy to listen to and that we see an example of a survivor coming forward and having justice served. I'm on social media @HOnMyChest! Stay Positive!

KellyAnne and I recorded this podcast around a time we were both doing some deep healing with traumatic events in our lives and the timing couldn't have been more perfect as we both share how we've been able to work through our healing. I took time to grieve the passing of my grandmother who's funeral was on my 13th birthday. The feelings that continued to emerge around that time of year for me had gone unchecked and I finally took responsibility for how to respond to my emotions. KellyAnne is a herpes activist who does so much cool spiritual work and can be found on Instagram @ v_for_vibrant. She's also a member of HANDS (Herpes Activists Networking to Dismantle Stigma) which more episodes featuring members are to follow. I'm on social media @HOnMyChest! Stay Positive!

Self Love Coach, Danielle Bryan (@Daniellebryanxo on Instagram) shares so many gems from her experience navigating the darkest time of her life and learning the ongoing lessons from that time to apply that to helping others. She remains committed to learning her own magic and guiding women to their own as well. Be sure to call in or DM @Datingpositives to answer this week's question; "What is the most awkward conversation you had about sex?" 833-YAS-LOVE That's 833-927-5683 We're growing ya'll! Thank you for the feedback! Thank you for your engagements with the show helping us get to this point. I'm on Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr and Reddit @HOnMyChest! Stay Positive!

There is no known cure for herpes at the time of recording of this podcast. This is me sharing my experience in how a sense of community has played a huge role in my own healing process. It hit me when I read Sex At Dawn by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha. Originally I was seeking it for its content on nonmonogamy and the word community really resonated with me and I realize in hindsight just how useful it was for me to have a community, and how I see it as a tool for healing among so many others after their diagnosis. I didn't edit this. Emily and I spoke in authenticity ;) this excuses my stutters and umms lol. I hope you enjoy! Stay Positive!

There comes a time where we spend so much time being drained by negative emotions that we just get tired. In that space we begin to discover something inside ourselves, a desire for change. Devin shares just how her being tired led to her discovery of her own power through one of the most uncomfortable things we can do being HSV+ and that's publicly disclose. Devin is on Instagram @lovealwaysdev and is the founder of Love Profound, a resource for women who want to tap into their courage to find peace and freedom after battling the shame of an STI diagnosis. As always, I'm on Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr and Reddit @HOnMyChest. To show support for the show you can always leave an anonymous 5 star rating and review. Please support our sponsors so we can continue to provide better audio quality and seek more high profile guests to have on the show. Stay Positive!

Why's it so tough to seek out what it is we need for support? I think identity validation is what we look for in support spaces. How do we find that? Who's the best source for it? I believe our people who knew us before are the key. .Here's why....

Functional Medicine Consultant Dr. Lacey Chittle shares information with us to best use our greatest healing tool, our body, to ease the symptoms of illnesses. This does include ways to boost the immune system to combat HSV expressions through the physical body. We're not talking about cures here by any means. We're talking about giving the body the best chance to keep illnesses at bay which happen to include herpes outbreaks. Dr. Lacey names off various supplements to help and those will be mentioned below: *DO NOT DIVE IN TO ADDING THE MENTIONED SUPPLEMENTS INTO YOUR DIET WITHOUT FIRST CONSULTING YOUR DOCTOR OR PHYSICIAN Supplements for herpes: Lomatrium (herbal antiviral), Monolaurin (lauric acid from coconut works as an antiviral), lysine (an amino acid from protein) Supplements for general immune support: Vitamin D3 sources are sunlight, mushrooms, salmon, liver, egg yolk and supplements, vitamin C sources are fruits and veggies such as acerola cherries, rose hips, sweet and spicy peppers, black currants, guava, oranges, kale, broccoli, papaya, strawberries. Supplement sources are ester-c, liposomal vitamin C, ascorbic acid, buffered vitamin c/ascorbic acid. Best absorption is with liposomal vitamin C or ester-C. Zinc (food sources include seafood, meat, eggs, beans, nuts, seeds and soy. Supplemental zinc best absorbed form is zinc picolinate. Connect with Dr. Lacey Chittle on Instagram like I did @Drlaceychittle. If you have questions or want to reach out for a consultation, email her at: lacey@drlaceychittle.com and visit her website: www.drlaceychittle.com I'm on social media @Honmychest. Follow me and the hashtags #Somethingpositiveforpositivepeople as well as #spfpp. For more of these useful episodes, please just leave us a review and subscribe to the podcast. That credibility and the numbers allow us to keep getting higher profile and useful guests on the podcast. Thank you!

This episode has two very important parts. Many questions come in about disclosure to a non positive partner and many of us have been depressed or have been depressed about our diagnosis. This episode will definitely assist you in navigating some of those questions from the couple we interview here. I'm on social media @HOnMyChest where you can keep up with the latest updates on the podcast. If you're concerned about the association of the podcast with your followers and think they'll assume you have an STI for listening to these amazing stories then you can follow the hashtags instead: #spfpp #somethingpositiveforpositivepeople Stay Positive!

We live in a world where we can project ourselves to be whoever we want a person to believe we are in order to get what we want. We have to train ourselves to recognize red flags in situations and people while trusting them to be who/what they are and who we believe them to be. Tunnel vision this episode isn't in reference to overlooking those red flags, it's on focusing so heavily on your overall goal, that you completely disregard the other things about a person that make them special. This is a great episode for anyone recently facing a rejection to understand it was never about who you are, but totally on the other person for being focused on what you can/can't do for them. Rate, Review, Share and Subscribe to this podcast. If you don't feel comfortable following the @HOnMyChest accounts, follow the hashtags #somethingpositiveforpositivepeople and #spfpp. But whatever you do, Stay Positive!

The in person interviews sound and just feel better. Brittany was cool with recording in the grand studio of my closet. This one is very spirituality/emotionally focused and highlights how being in touch with your own intuition guides you to and away from like energies if you listen to it. Keep subscribing and reviewing the podcast. I'm on Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr and Reddit @hOnMyChest! Stay Positive!

December 1st is World AIDS Awareness Day and this special bonus episode features someone with life-long experience with HIV. We touch on HIV education, self-esteem building and the main topic of discussion, open relationships. Lexi Gibson the Founder and HIV Care Specialist of StopHateEducate. She also does photography and life coaching. Connect with Lexi on Instagram @beautythroughmyeyes and StopHateEducate@gmail.com. Stay Positve!

This is an important episode of Something Positive for Positive People. We talk about not disclosing. In the posts about this episode, there have been mixed responses from anger and rage to understanding. This episodes offers a a perspective we will never hear about in sex education, we're unlikely to hear from a partner in today's dating culture, and we will probably never hear this side of a story otherwise. Please be respectful in the comments about this episode. I'm not asking you to have an opinion, I'm asking you to respect this space as this platform is in fact dedicated to allow people to share their experiences despite how you may feel about them. We've already agreed to have Jewell back on after she finishes disclosing to past partners and once feedback from her circle is given on opening up about this challenging topic to discuss. I'd like this to remain a safe space for her to do so. Thank you in advance. Don't forget to call 833-YAS-LOVE and let Dating Positives know what you're hoping for romantically this holiday season! It's anonymous, safe and most of all, FUN! It's exciting to play these voicemails in the podcast. Supporting sponsors and leaving reviews are two things you can do to support this podcast. Thank you!

Josh Robbins is a Spokesperson for DatingPositives the recipient of the 2018 National Lesbian & Gay Journalist Association of Excellence in Journalism Award, 2017 GLAAD Media Award Nominee, Publisher of www.imstilljosh.com, TedxNashville speaker and HIV Activist. Josh addresses his experience dating as an HIV+ person, we talk Undetectable Equals Untransmittable, HIV criminalization and what we as allies can do to get involved to at least revise these unjust laws. Josh can be found on all social media @Imstilljosh DatingPositives is supporting Something Positive for Positive People so please be sure to support them by sharing via Twitter/Instagram in a private direct message what it is you're looking for romantically this holiday season. You can also call in to an anonymous call line and possibly have your voicemail played on an upcoming podcast episode 833-YAS-LOVE that's 833-927-5683. Let's make it fun! I'm on everything but Facebook @HOnMyChest Stay Positive!

Our biggest takeaway is to address the growth point of your permanent limitations here. After a positive HSV diagnosis from a long-term partner who was aware of his status and didn't disclose, Kimberly began the quest of learning this lesson through personal experience. Navigating The Modern World Podcast Host, Kimberly Allyse Johnson is a certified Life and Sex Coach as well as a Meditation Practitioner in Denver, CO. Kimberly believes having peace in ANY relationship is to truly have freedom in your life. For more information about Kimberly and her work, you can find her: Navigating The Modern World Podcast (available on iTunes), Instagram @Kimberlyallysejohnson and her website www.kimberlycoaching.com I'm on Twitter, Tumblr, Reddit, Instagram and various blog sites @HOnMyChest Stay Positive!

The Unapologetically imperfect LaToya Dawn shares her experience beyond having been diagnosed with HSV-1 and HSV-2 on top of finding out she was pregnant all at the same time. She never showed symptoms, just wanted to know her health status and the results came back positive for HSV. How'd she handle it? Check out this episode of #SPFPP and hear! LaToya can be fund on Instagram @Somethingsabouther. I'm on IG, Twitter, Tumblr and Reddit @HOnMyChest! If you haven't already, please check out DatingPositives, a supporter of this podcast. Let us know what you're hoping for romantically this holiday season be it cuddles, getting laid or a life partner long-term. Call 1-833-YAS-LOVE or DM @Datingpositives on IG or Twitter to have your response aired on the podcast! Stay Positive!

Elle Stanger like hanger, AKA @Stripperwriter is a Sex Worker & one half of the Strange Bedfellows Podcast which is a space for understanding the facts about a VERY misunderstood industries and informative about the intersection of sex and politics! I admire Elle for all her activism work, her intelligence, resilience and realness! We talk risk awareness, HPV, oral herpes, and how people who don't think they need to be tested because they're "being safe" don't understand their role in STI transmission. Listen to Strange Bedfellows Podcast here: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/strange-bedfellows-pdx/id1393852362?mt=2 and be sure to follow their Instagram account @strangebedfellowspdx Instagram: @Stripperwriter Facebook: Elle Lynn Stanger Twitter: @ElleStanger I'm @HOnMyChest on Instagram, Twitter, Reddit and Tumblr. Please keep the reviews and shares coming! Stay Positive!

Lachrista Greco is a curator, educator and maker on top of being a huge blessing as a lighthouse to those who are living with HSV (herpes) as a resource to come to for additional resources and support. This episode is an empowering one for all humans as Lachrista demonstrates what it means to #bethere for others and what showing support looks like for various causes and influencers who push for positive change in the way society does things. Her work can be found on her Instagram page @theguerrillafeminist and Twitter @lachristagreco Keep the reviews coming and continue to share the podcast! I'm on Instagram @HOnMyChest

This episode is a recording of an online women's support group led by Belize Spivey who encourages women to overcome life's obstacles! The title of her latest book, "Overcoming What Can't be Cured: Living Beyond Herpes" can be found at bit.ly/Overcomingbook. Connect with Belize to join an upcoming women's support group: Website: bit.ly/BelizeSpivey Facebook: Belize Spivey Twitter: @belizeSpivey Instagram: belize.spivey I'm on social media @HOnMyChest please leave a review for this episode for us and share with anyone you think may find it useful. Stay Positive!

When you meet good people doing good things, you try and help them do it better. Connected through a mutual friend, Tyler and I spoke about our nonprofit resources and how our goals aligned in the reproductive wellness space. It was when he talked specifically about the patient you’ll hear about in this episode who was met by compassion and empathy from a medical physician who exercised presence, you’ll understand why it was so important that he share that story and that space was created on this podcast for this organization that provides cervical cancer screenings fro women in Ecuador and its surrounding areas, and much more. Our Mission is to provide comprehensive care that reaches the needs of underdeveloped communities through people and technology. As the group continues to serve the population in rural Ecuador, Trek Coalition has a multifaceted approach to create a lasting impact for the patients it serves. The short term goal is to partner with sustainable and trusted organizations that are already established in countries and provide them with professionals willing to help. These professionals can be in a multitude of medical disciplines including General Medicine, Ophthalmology, Pediatrics, OGBYN, Physical Therapy and Public Health. The long term goal is to develop a technology platform that collects and stores patient records for in-country organizations. With greater insight into patient history and medical information, better care can be provided both in the short and long term. With our professional presence of physicians in-country, adequate training and education will grow in lockstep with our platform. Visit https://trekcoalition.org/ for more information. Please subscribe to, rate and review Something Positive for Positive People and share episodes with everyone ya can!

Theydies and themtlemen, we open with the importance of pronouns, define queerness, discuss how attraction evolves, and some precautions positive vulva owners can take with their vulva owner partners. And PSA Coldsores are herpes.

Your partner contacts you and says they've tested positive for syphilis. You follow the protocol which is to go and get tested and treated at a medical clinic. You get there and are informed you have to come back after the weekend. You go to another place and are told you can't be treated. Even with insurance, what are some of the barriers that would hinder this simple process of someone receiving proper treatment? Dr. David Malebranche shares a story no one should have to experience with their health care provider to be seen about possible STI contraction. About the guest: David J. Malebranche, MD, MPH, is a board-certified Internal Medicine physician and expert in men's health, student health, racial inequities in medicine, and LGBT health, as well as the prevention and treatment of HIV and Sexually Transmitted Infections (STI). He is currently an Associate Professor of Medicine and the Medical Director of Student & Employee Health at Morehouse School of Medicine in Atlanta, Georgia. Dr. Malebranche is an experienced qualitative HIV behavioral prevention researcher who has completed several studies on sexual health among Black men of diverse sexualities. Dr. Malebranche has published over 50 articles in medical and public health journals such as The Annals of Internal Medicine, The American Journal of Public Health, JAMA, and the Lancet, He is known as a dynamic speaker worldwide and has appeared in documentaries on CNN, ABC News Primetime, TV One, and Black Entertainment Television (BET) for his expertise on HIV in the Black community. Dr. Malebranche served as a member of the President’s Advisory Council on HIV/AIDS (PACHA) from 2006 – 2008 and was the HIV clinical expert on WebMD from 2010 - 2012. He also appears in the video series #AsktheHIVDoc, which promotes HIV education on prevention and treatment, and Revolutionary Health, a biweekly YouTube Live health web series that is part of The Counter Narrative Project, an advocacy organization for Black same gender loving men. In 2015, Dr. Malebranche published his first book, a memoir about his father entitled Standing on His Shoulders. He currently resides in Atlanta, Georgia.

Founder of The Institute for Sexuality and Intimacy, Dr. Lexx Brown-James, LMFT, CSE can be found on Instagram @lexxsexdoc. We discuss the over-sexualization of black bodies, how sexual trauma and therapy look different for black people, guilt vs shame and the history of STIs. You can also visit www.lexxsexdoc.com to check her out.

Trigger warning to survivors of any kind of abuse. Our guest is 25 year old, Z who was diagnosed with genital herpes at age 15. There's some triggering backstory to her trauma. The dysfunction of this trauma has become normalized. When people say they're a product of their environment, what that means is there's a systematic structure in place that encourages particular behaviors. In Z's experience, we're talking about sexual abuse, predatory behaviors, pedophilia, physical abuse, shame, and secrecy which enables things to be done in the shadows. Please take care of yourself listening to this episode especially if you are a survivor of abuse. This is important. What hit me the hardest is that Z said her life would've been different had she just had an open space to talk. When she received it from the father of her 9 month old child, it was used to manipulate her and she was then abused. We have to do something different. Even if that starts with recognizing Z's story as one of many taking place as we speak. Proper sex education can become a foundation to create openness in communities and homes so that there is language and encouragement to point out dysfunction and illegal behavior. One resource I recommend in helping navigate sexual health talks in families for parents to initiate these conversations is www.sexpositivefamilies.com.

Dr. Evelin Dacker joins us with a safer sexual communication model she constructed from many resources. STARS as described in this episode can be a useful tool for a herpes disclosure to prospective partners. This method calls for self awareness and the identification of intentions in order to create conscious relationships with others. Herpes is a tricky virus - We only ‘kill the mood’ based on how we carry shame - You are not your infection, it’s a part of you - Consent is the bigger picture - STARS is a model for conscious relationships - Herpes tests aren’t great Check out Dr. Dacker's work: http://maketimeforthetalk.com/ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06Z6mKMGq4M Save 20% off your first at home STI test kit from LetsGetChecked when you visit www.TryLgc.com/spfpp and please don't forget that spfpp there. Get 10% off your first month of counseling/therapy at www.betterhelp.com/spfpp

What does race have to do with sex education? .Why are minorities at a greater risk than their counterparts for STIs and teen pregnancy? What factors play a role in teaching black and brown communities sex education? How do we use the truth to keep our youth from being vulnerable to deception? We answer these questions and address parental concerns about teaching sex ed to their kids who "shouldn't be having sex in the first place".

Welcome to the 100th spfpp episode (by number). I answer a few listener questions and interview the mind behind the sexually expressive Instagram handle, @strictlysex, Follow her for a sex positive, explicit sharing of sexual turn-ons, wins and conversations with like-minded people in this space. We talk about her recent diagnosis with genital HSV-1 and her experiences with past partners who've had herpes prior to her diagnosis.

Solo episode here where I share my diagnosis and talk about the birth of this platform and its evolution. Also, we gotta reevaluate the phrase "successful disclosure".

After a positive diagnosis, one can experience a loss of identity. Clarice Connelly and I go into the development of identity and healthy places to construct your new identity.

There are many ways to get involved with advocacy. In my experience, I've connected with people who get inspired by someone's work in this space and charge into making a social media post sharing that they are positive for herpes. If you're in that space, I encourage you to listen to this podcast episode so that you have more perspective to make the most informed decision you possibly can.

Seems like whenever I question or doubt myself in this space I'm met with just what I need to see or hear from someone. I share thank you messages on social media but this one . . . I let Heather share

The response we receive to our first disclosure often shapes how we move forward with future disclosures. A positive experience shapes our expected response just as a negative one does. We talk about disclosing in kink in a sense of comparing sex in kink communities as it parallels with driving in NASCAR. I really loved this analogy! Most important, we discuss the idea that relationships aren't all about sexual intimacy. It's more than that and when we enter relationships, we share space psychologically, emotionally, energetically. There’s an echo that follows when I speak but our guest is crystal clear. I encourage you to listen without headphones or just turn me down when I speak so that you can get this great content from Laura!

Respecting identities is suicide prevention. Our guest this week shares her earliest memories of homophobia experienced by her father. She reflects on her anger up until 35 years of age when she finally saw fit to just be herself. Despite having lost her comfort in the privilege she had, she is far more happy and confident now than she ever was in denial about who she was. Please enjoy this episode of Something Positive for Positive People with Staci Bratten!

If you're considering purchasing a herpes cure from one of those social media accounts that shares the Gmail email address as a contact, please just don't. What you should do is consider listening to someone who did purchase it so that you can be best equipped to make the best decision for yourself. Our guest shares the red flags she missed so that you can find your way to healing that doesn't cost $2k. As of the release of this podcast episode, there is no known cure for herpes that permanently removes the virus from our nerves, prevents outbreaks or protect partners from exposure. Our guest's story involves sexual assault so protect yourself as needed while listening through this podcast episode.

We open out the gate with ethics of people practicing various forms of therapy without any certifications. Sometimes people NEED therapists, but WANT a friend. Without being dismissive, we sort through how you as a friend can suggest therapy without running the risk of losing a friend like we may fear. The conversation went several different directions but definitely loads of useful information and nuggets. For starters, people aren't necessarily boring, they are often HIDING. Hiding their true selves in fear of being found out and judged. Why do we sometimes feel more safe opening up to strangers than we do our own support system? Can there be romance without finance? Why do we make marriage about love when it has historically been about status and resources? We discuss compersion in multiple relationships and how outsourcing different needs and wants is more of the norm. When one feels challenged by this, you have to ask why you view it as a threat. Last but not least, queer sex is where it's at!

There's a lesson on forgiveness to be learned here. I've always considered myself fortunate to not know where I got herpes from. Not knowing left me with no one to blame. What about those who have a firm belief they know exactly where they got it from and those who know due to having been informed? This podcast is for those people. Learning to take the lesson on forgiveness when you come to learn that there really is just no blame.

Who gets herpes and then writes about their sex life? I'll tell you who! Carolyn Toney! After her friends' support caught her off guard compared to the negative feedback she expected thanks to stigma, she was pretty comfortable out the gate about her status. Her blog, Tales of Toney (link below) is where she writes about her amazing sex life despite having HSV. She poses the question in dating, "If I didn't have herpes, would I still want to be with them?". Carolyn has a big confidence about her that we need in this community. It's amazing to have an outspoken black woman who is polyamorous, unapologetically herself and advocating for sexual health conversations in the communities we represent. Carolyn has appeared on the Whoreable Decisions Podcast episode 128 and the Shit I'm 30 Podcast episode 88 spreading that good word about sex positivity! Check out Carolyn's stories by visiting www.talesoftoney.com

In "Psychocybernetics", Dr. Maxwell Maltz shares a story of a weary traveler who is hunched over, fatigued and moving slowly as he progresses down the road. Along the way, he's met by a child who points out a heavy boulder on his shoulders, asking "why are you carrying that boulder?". The traveler hadn't thought about it before and set it alongside the rode and progressed with a straighter posture, standing proudly. Another stranger notices some weeds around the travelers ankles and knees which the traveler hadn't noticed before, so he pulls out his pocket knife and cut them off, now walking upright and at a faster pace with greater stride down the road. The point of this story is to highlight that the traveler had problems that he was completely unaware of. He struggled without knowing he was until these things slowing him down were brought into his awareness. We have the ability to heal ourselves and move at greater strides in life, but only when what needs to be healed is then revealed.

November 19-22 of 2019 I attended STD Engage. The most universal way I can think to describe it is that it was a conference of public health professionals where the goal was to exchange experiences in order to best serve those affected by STDs. What I learned cannot be condensed into the episodes I recorded while there, but this is definitely a start! I met and interviewed Amanda B. Dennison, Director, Programs and Partnerships about her experience. Amanda was diagnosed with genital herpes and as a public health professional stigma has to look a little different, right? I'll let Amanda tell you all that. Check out this episode of Something Positive for Positive People with the National Coalition of STD Directors' own, Amanda B. Dennison. Contact: Adennison@ncsddc.org; 202-969-0988 Director of Programs and Partnerships with National Coalition of STD Directors

We hear from a Public Health Nurse who shares how using suggestive language helps her to serve communities that are challenging to connect with. People who exchange sex for survival (sex workers) and inmates have resistances to getting tested and treated. Our guest, Tessa shares some of what she's learned working with these groups. Tessa can be reached @tessa.robinson@co.washington.or.us