Securely Attached (Dr. Sarah Bren)

In our culture, we often look at the surface behaviors our children exhibit and think it is our job as parents to control those. Instead, if we can look at behaviors as clues to how our child is making sense of the world, we're able to get to the root of what is causing the behavior in the first place.

Joining me this week is child psychologist and the author of the new book, Brain-Body Parenting, Dr. Mona Delahooke. We'll talk about the ways you can begin to look past your child's behaviors, creating a roadmap for each unique child, Dr. Mona's color-coded framework to help you understand the nervous system, and how that understanding can be our secret weapon in parenting to raise resilient, self-confident and healthy children.

Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren? 

✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/

✨ Subscribe to the weekly newsletter: https://drsarahbren.com/join-newsletter

✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

- How to incorporate the parenting knowledge you’ve acquired without losing sight of your own gut instincts. 

- Understanding what your job as a parent is when your child feels thwarted (and why making them stop yelling might not be your true end goal)

- Unpacking the underlying question of: What do I do if my child is screaming volitionally as a manipulation tactic?

- Whether your child is in a full-blown tantrum or just slightly dysregulated, the key strategies for addressing their underlying struggle.

- How to respond to the behaviors (like yelling, eating, spitting, etc.) that you have no true control over.

- How to find that middle space between not making your child feel responsible for your feelings without having to abandon all your own needs.

👉🏻 GET MY ON-DEMAND COURSE FOR COMBATTING TANTRUMS:

Learn exactly how to reduce the frequency, intensity and duration of your child's tantrums in my self-paced course, The Science of Tantrums.

📚 READ Rebecca's book on managing your child's tantrums, The Tantrum Survival Guide

WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT DYSREGULATION:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the difference between a tantrum and a meltdown

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parenting a "threenager"

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode with a step-by-step guide for changing your child's behavior

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode answering the question: does teaching my kid to punch a pillow when they're mad make them more aggressive?

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

It's important for women to feel powerful, capable and confident during their pregnancy, birth and postpartum journey. After all, our bodies have an innate knowledge of how to do this, we just need to tap into that wisdom.

Today I am joined by the creator of the online platform The Bloom Method, Brooke Cates. Brooke and I are busting myths and dispelling societal stigmas surrounding what it means to become a mother. We’ll talk about ways you can stay connected to who you are during this massive transition, how to let go of some control and trust in yourself and your baby, and strategies for spiritual, mental, emotional and physical healing in the 4th trimester and beyond.

Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren? 

✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram

✨ Click here to join the weekly newsletter 

✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources 

Perinatal mood and anxiety disorders effect about 20% of women. It’s important we prepare parents-to-be for the possibility that they may experience this, and the symptoms to look out for. In this episode, I’ll be discussing the different forms of PMADs - postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, postpartum bipolar disorder and postpartum psychosis, and a few others. I’ll also share who is most at risk for developing these during and after pregnancy and what you can do if you or someone you love is experiencing any of these symptoms. 

I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!

✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren

✨ Send an email to info@drsarahbren.com

✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources 

Get science-backed strategies to raise kids who are compassionate, kind, and successful in today’s chaotic world with Melinda Wenner Moyer.

In this episode, we explore:

- How becoming a parent shifted Melinda’s attention to applying science and research to answer her most pressing parenting questions

- One of the most surprising and counterintuitive things Melinda learned when she started to dig into the research on parenting.

- How to approach challenging topics, like race, authentically and in age-appropriate ways without needing a “script.”

- Diving into Carol Dweck’s research study using fixed vs growth mindset language with kids and how it affected their perseverance (Spoiler: Kids who were given fixed mindset messaging showed less resilience.) 

- Why kids lie, the best ways we can respond when they do, and how this can impact how likely they are to be open with us as they get older.

- How attachment security impacts our kid’s ability to be confident, curious, flexible, and compassionate 

If you’re looking to raise kind, resilient kids who feel safe being honest with you, this conversation is filled with insights to help you make that happen!

LEARN MORE ABOUT MELINDA:

https://www.melindawennermoyer.com/

READ MELINDA'S BOOKS:

📚 How to Raise Kids Who Aren't Assholes: Science-Based Strategies for Better Parenting--from Tots to Teens

📚 Hello, Cruel World!: Science-Based Strategies for Raising Terrific Kids in Terrifying Times

JOIN MELINDA'S SUBSTACK:

📖 Is My Kid the Asshole?

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

📱@melindawmoyer and @drsarahbren

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES FROM THE EPISODE:

1. Read more about Carol Dweck

2. Watch the Instagram reel we talk about: Teaching my boomer mom about gentle parenting 

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Raising conscious kids: A thoughtful exploration of bias, cultural identity, and diversity with Dr. Dana E. Crawford

🎧 The hidden dangers of an achievement centric approach with Jennifer Breheny Wallace

🎧 Raising emotionally intelligent sons: Parenting boys to combat "toxic masculinity" with Ruth Whippman

🎧 Debunking the myth of learning styles: What the research actually says are the best ways to teach our children with Dr. Dan Willingham

You don’t need to be Ferris Bueller to realize that time moves pretty fast these days. And for parents, that can lead to feelings of stress, exhaustion and burnout.

In this episode, I’ll walk you through 5 actionable steps you can start taking today to get more time back into your days and weeks. And then, once you’ve found these extra minutes or even hours, I’ll help you take stock of what matters most. So you can be intentionally spending this newfound freedom on things that fill up your tank and allow you to show up as the best version of yourself - for you and for your entire family.

I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!

✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren

✨ Send an email to info@drsarahbren.com

✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources 

What do I do when my partner and I are not on the same page with our parenting values, how do we raise our kids, how can we address behavioral issues? 

In this episode, I’ll be tackling all those questions and helping you and your partner work as a team to create a united front. I’ll cover when and how to have conversations together (sneak peak: it’s the same advice I give parents about when to communicate with their child too). How to determine and define the values that are important to you, both individually and as a team. And how to create a family game plan, so everyone is one the same page on how these values will be carried out. This will be constantly evolving as your children grow, so it’s important to schedule regular check ins to discuss what’s working and what’s not working in a way that makes you both feel seen, heard and valued.

I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!

✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren

✨ Send an email to info@drsarahbren.com

✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources 

• The difference between “woo-woo” energy healing and what research actually shows about the mind-body connection.
• How we can direct our focus and beliefs to shift our energy and mindset.
• Why no emotion is inherently bad—and how to work with difficult feelings, rather than against them, in yourself and your child.
• What meditation can open up for you and how to use it practically in your parenting life.
• What it really means to “accept what is”—and how this concept can reduce stress and increase clarity.
• How our kids pick up on our energy (even when we don’t say a word).
• What research reveals about how attention shapes our brain and behavior.
• The ego’s role in pulling us out of alignment—and how to shift from control to connection.
• A calming, grounding meditation you can return to anytime you feel overwhelmed.

When it comes to helping our children with sleeping, the goal is to make them feel confident and capable of independently falling asleep and then falling back asleep if they wake up in the middle of the night. Sounds simple enough, but how do we as parents help our children build that skillset? In this episode, my guest Eileen Henry and I will review many of these factors. We’ll discuss regulation techniques, how to create an ideal sleep environment - both physically and emotionally - and how to identify when your child is suffering and needs you to step in versus when they are struggling and you can help guide them without fixing the problem for them. 

I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!

✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren

✨ Send an email to info@drsarahbren.com

✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources 

In this episode, the creator of AEDP, Dr. Diana Fosha, psychotherapist Karen Pando-Mars, and I dive into the science of healing attachment wounds and exploring how AEDP can help people create healthier patterns.

Together we explore:

- What exactly is AEDP, directly from the creator of this therapy modality herself

- Unpacking how and why attachment "styles" aren't as fixed as we often think, and may not even be the most accurate way of thinking about attachment security...and what actually is!

- What the research reveals about repairing attachment ruptures and how to get through them in order to establish a secure attachment relationship.

- An exercise in reflective functioning and the types of things you can say to model and build this skill in your child.

- A trick for allowing yourself to stay in a feeling of discomfort or shame without immediately going straight to defensiveness. 

- What people with different attachment styles need to start to move more toward secure attachment.

Tune in for a discussion that will shift your perspective on attachment, healing, and the power of connection.

SHOW NOTES:

(link)

LEARN MORE ABOUT AEDP:

https://aedpinstitute.org/

ATTEND THEIR CONFERENCE:

https://aedpinstitute.org/aedp-conference-2025-in-it-together/

READ THEIR BOOK:

📚 Tailoring Treatment in Attachment Patterns: Healing Trauma in Relationships

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Breaking the cycle of insecure attachment: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with Dr. Miriam Steele

🎧 Codependency, insecure attachment, and relationship patterns: Creating stronger, healthier romantic partnerships with Alana Carvalho

🎧 The lifelong impact of early relationships: How secure attachment influences children’s ability to make sense of their experiences and cope in the face of adversity with Dr. Alan Sroufe

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...

- It can be tricky to maintain relationships when you’re in different stages of life from your friends and it’s common for some to atrophy after you become a parent. 

- Unpacking all the feelings you may have about this: fear, guilt, grief, and more!

- Practical strategies for creating a simple routine that is easy for you to maintain, but will also allow you to keep these relationships from going too long without any checkins. 

- When you are changed by motherhood, you may slip into black-and-white thinking with regard to your friendships. We offer you a perspective shift you can use to challenge that.

- How to check in with yourself so you can understand the root of your desires for connection, which will help you create realistic anchors that will actually meet your needs.

- Time management and scheduling hacks that can help you be intentional about protecting the time you do have.

- How to repair bonds with friends who may feel hurt, slighted, or abandoned by you.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the science of “mom-rage” with Diana Winston

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about identifying and managing your triggers with Dr. Amber Thornton

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about finding balance with Chelsi Jo

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about overcoming parental burnout

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...

- The science of why transitions are so hard for the ADHD brain - it’s not just that you or your child are "difficult," it’s actually the way a neurodiverse brain works.

- What type of executive functioning skills need more scaffolding for a person with ADHD (and the good news, that being intentional about strengthening them can be a real game changer!)

- Some of these underdeveloped skills can create a snowball effect. Learn exactly how you can identify and make changes to your child’s day to improve these challenging patterns.

- A few real-life examples of how Dr. Emily breaks down tasks, like getting her son to soccer practice with all his gear or helping him study for a test, that makes it easier for him, her, and their whole family.

- Creating a systematic approach for lessening how much support you offer your child that is most likely to help them internalize these new skills and behaviors. 

- A transition hack you can use that will make it easier to go from activity to activity.  

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

• The digital platform Dr. Emily uses with her own child: Quizlet

• Create a visual guide of your child's routine: Small Dry Erase Whiteboard,

• A visual timer you can use: 60-Minute Timer

👉🏻 Are you interested in exploring executive functioning supports? At Upshur Bren Psychology Group we offer a wide range of options, including in-person groups for kids who live locally and coaching virtual supports for those nationally. SCHEDULE A FREE CALL to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping your child feel comfortable accepting ADHD School accommodations

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about making mindfulness more “user-friendly” for parents with ADHD with Dr. Lidia Zylowska

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to modify traditional sleep strategies for children with neurodiversity with Dr. Funke Afolabi-Brown

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Is potty training causing your stress or anxiety? I’m unpacking everything you need to know to help your child learn to use the potty with more confidence and ease.

In this episode, we explore:

- Readiness Signs: What to look for physically, behaviorally, and emotionally to know if your child is ready to start potty training.

- Setting the Stage: What to do before you start potty training to create a supportive environment that encourages independence and reduces pressure around the potty.

- How to Potty Train: Practical tips and personal stories of how to actually start potty learning once you've determined your child is ready.

- Navigating Accidents and Setbacks: How to stay calm and empathetic during the inevitable ups and downs, and when taking a break might be the best next step.

- Avoiding Common Pitfalls: Why reward systems might not be the best approach, and what to do to foster intrinsic motivation instead.

Whether you're just starting or already in the thick of it, this episode offers you a compassionate and realistic approach to getting your child to start using the bathroom.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL RELATED EPISODES:

🎧 A conversation about pediatric pelvic health with Quiara Smith

🎧 How to use the attachment relationship to help your toddler fall and stay asleep with Eileen Henry

Let's revisit the foundation of raising securely attached kids! I'm bringing back one of my first ever episodes to help parents understand the basics of how a secure attachment bond impacts children's resilience, confidence, and overall well-being.

Tune in to hear:

- What secure attachment is and how it plays a key role in nurturing a child's confidence, curiosity, and ability to handle life’s ups and downs.

- The powerful influence of feeling safe and seen on a child's ability to be honest, adaptable, and resilient.

- Practical strategies for fostering secure attachment, no matter the age of your child.

- How attachment affects a child’s development into a compassionate, kind individual who can build meaningful relationships throughout their life.

This episode offers science-backed insights and actionable tips and is a must-listen for all parents!

SHOW NOTES:

(link)

INTERESTED IN LEARNING MORE ABOUT ATTACHMENT SCIENCE?

Click HERE to download my free guide, The Four Pillars of Fostering Secure Attachment, helping you parent with a focus on attunement and trust.

LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. SARAH:

https://drsarahbren.com/

FOLLOW DR. SARAH ON INSTAGRAM:

https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Breaking the cycle of insecure attachment: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with it with Dr. Miriam Steele

🎧 Secure attachment is optimal, but insecure attachment may not be as bad as we think with Dr. Or Dagan

🎧 Can my kid be securely attached to me if I'm insecurely attached in my adult relationships?

What if the key to unlocking your full potential lies in a part of your body that’s often overlooked and misunderstood? This week we're diving into the transformative world of holistic pelvic care with Tami Lynn Kent.

In this episode, we explore:

1. Integrating Eastern and Western Approaches: The importance of integrating both physical therapy for the pelvic floor as well as energetic practices, like breath work and meditation to help women connect with their pelvic regions.

1. Addressing Gaps in Female Healthcare: Highlighting significant gaps in female healthcare and the importance of understanding the anatomy of the pelvic bowl to empower women.

1. Supporting Mothers: What it means to "mother from your center" and how to tap into this in your parenting.

1. Feminine versus Masculine Energy: The importance of understanding and balancing feminine and masculine energy within ourselves.

1. Practical Tips for Pelvic Health: Practical advice for integrating holistic pelvic care into your daily life, emphasizing the importance of tuning into your body and harnessing your innate wisdom.

Join us for this enlightening episode as we delve into the vital topic of pelvic health and discover how to better support and honor our bodies.

LEARN MORE ABOUT TAMI LYNN KENT:

https://www.wildfeminine.com/

PICK UP A COPY OF TAMI'S BOOKS:

📚 Wild Feminine: Finding Power, Spirit & Joy in the Female Body

📚 Wild Creative: Igniting Your Passion and Potential in Work, Home, and Life

📚 Wild Mothering: Finding Power, Spirit, and Joy in Birth and a Creative Motherhood

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL RELATED EPISODES:

🎧 Cycle syncing, restorative practices, and natural rhythms with Dr. Jessica Plancich Shinners

🎧 The neuroscience of mindfulness with Dr. Dan Siegel

🎧 Bridging ancient wisdom and modern science with yoga therapist Nicole Katz

Joining me today is my partner from our joint practice Upshur Bren Psychology Group, Dr. Emily Upshur. We’re diving into Diana Baumrind’s 4 parenting styles - Permissive, Authoritative, Authoritarian and Neglectful - in order to help guide one mom who wonders how she can break the cycle and raise her child differently from the authoritarian way she herself was raised.

We’ll get into the characteristics of each of these styles, the middle ground where most people truly exist, the reasons why an authoritative style is considered the gold standard in child development and strategies you can use to consciously move toward this style in your day to day parenting.

Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren? 

✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/

✨ Subscribe to the weekly newsletter: https://drsarahbren.com/join-newsletter

✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources

Do you feel like you are constantly ping-ponging between two extremes—throwing around your authority and overpowering your child or feeling like they're running the show?

Jen Lumanlan, the creator of Your Parenting Mojo and the author of the new book, Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection and Collaboration to Transform Your Family—and the World, is helping parents learn how to embark on a journey towards harmonious family life and a better world!

Say goodbye to time-outs, countdowns, and punishments that perpetuate power imbalances. Instead, embrace empathetic listening, understanding your child's needs, and collaborative problem-solving. The result? Parents no longer feel like martyrs and children's behavioral problems often start to decrease.

If you're ready to transform your family life while shaping a brighter future for your children, then this episode is a must-listen!

I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!

✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren

✨ Send an email to sarah@drsarahbren.com

✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources 

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

2:48 - What to think about and how to decide when it’s time to start moving away from the pacifier.

7:11 - What age would we recommend parents stop letting their child use a pacifier to help them self-soothe.

9:30 - Should you slowly ween or should you take the pacifier away cold turkey?

17:23 - Practical strategies to use (and what not to do) when you decide it's time.

18:56 - How to prepare the environment to make this an easier transition.

✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨

Sibling dynamics can be complicated! And the way we parent the interactions between brothers and sisters often looks different than how we would handle the same situations in a playdate, daycare or school setting. In today’s episode, I am joined by Dr. Emily Upshur and we’ll help one mom who asks for advice on how to understand and respond to her kids when they're fighting.

We’ll offer mindset and behavioral shifts you yourself can make, break down the psychology of sharing, and help you set appropriate developmental expectations of your children. Plus, we'll help you reframe the situation to turn these tough moments into opportunities to help your children hone their empathy skills.

I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!

✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren

✨ Send an email to info@drsarahbren.com

✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources 

🧠 Let's simplify some complicated neuroscience into accessible and easy-to-understand bites!

Did you know that understanding the intricate ways our nervous system responds to our environment can actually help us raise children who are resilient, healthy, and mindful?

Joining me today is Seth Porges. Seth co-wrote the amazing new book, Our Polyvagal World: How Safety and Trauma Change Us, along with his father, the creator of polyvagal theory, Dr. Stephen Porges. In it, this father-son duo breaks down complex science into useful, practical, and easy-to-understand (and apply) insights about just how interconnected we are. In this conversation, we take these insights and apply them to all aspects of parenthood. From helping your child to get through big emotions more easily, to helping manage the overstimulation of parenting loud and handsy little kiddos, to feeling more connected and safe in our relationships. This is definitely an episode you won't want to miss!

I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!

✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren

✨ Send an email to sarah@drsarahbren.com

✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...

- Dr. Sarah and Dr. Rebecca sympathize with this mom and reflects on how great it would be if we could choose our kid’s friends - but offer a mindset shift for why that actually wouldn’t be healthy.

- Who to turn to for support to help you determine what your best course of action might be.

- A statement you can say to your child that can help you begin to understand why they may be exhibiting more clingy behaviors.

- How to get to the root of your own anxieties and fears so you can determine what you might be projecting onto your kids versus what are actual issues they need support navigating.

- What to avoid saying to your child that may unintentionally cause them to pull away from you.

- A formula you can use (that works with children of all ages!) to help you know whether the questions you are asking your child will likely be helpful or may lead to increased pressure.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about fostering secure attachments in peer relationships with Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about peer rejection

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode that will help you empower your daughter with media, body image, and societal pressures with Dr. Jo-Ann Finkelstein

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

1:50 - It's very developmentally typical for toddlers to have trouble with sharing and also there are things you can do to encourage and build this skill.

7:25 - At 2.5 years-old, kids will likely need an adult to narrate and also facilitate the sharing so they learn how it's done.

11:40 - Kids can become territorial at this age, so it can be helpful to have playdates at neutral places, like a park or a playground.

13:40 - When you see your child start to get territorial, try to see this as an indicator that they need to take a break rather than a cue to teach them the importance of sharing - that can be done later, when they are more regulated and in control.

16:47 - To build the skill of sharing, it's helpful to break this down into smaller tasks like tolerating frustration, setting healthy boundaries, and perspective taking.

19:30 - We also want to be mindful not to encourage our kids to share without any limitations or we risk them feeling compelled to become more of a people pleaser.

WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT HOW YOU CAN PARENT YOUR DAUGHTER SO SHE DOESN’T BECOME A PEOPLE PLEASER?

Listen to the podcast episode we reference in this conversation

✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨

In this episode I am joined by professional chef and father to biological, adopted and foster children, Chef Kibby. You’ll hear how he uses the kitchen to help his children learn to trust and work through their trauma. And we'll walk you through what goes on in your child's brain when they engage in these activities.

All parents can use the 3 step process we’ll discuss to help you connect with your own children, regardless of whether they’ve experienced trauma or are just looking for a fun way to connect with you. Getting your kids cooking and sharing meals together provides you with a wonderful opportunity to strengthen and deepen your parent-child relationship.

I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!

✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren

✨ Send an email to info@drsarahbren.com

✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources 

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

2:27 - Reframe your goal from being about maintaining the specific friendships to be about maintaining the social skills your child has acquired over the school year instead.

4:13 - Using summer as your child's opportunity to get to try something new and allow them to explore different parts of themselves.

6:26 - If a child has struggled in the past, the friendships they have may feel precious and fragile now, and that can make kids and parents alike feel anxious that this might go away.

10:12 - It's helpful not to measure your child's social success based on their age and encourage them to have friends who are a year or two younger, if that they are lacking some social skills.

14:43 - Tangible tips you can implement to support your child's social skills and encourage their building and maintaining deep friendships.

19:10 - Having a plan-b with a singular person activity can be helpful for your child to have in their back pocket to play with if they struggle to join into a social group.

✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨

Discover how you can use food to teach your children about acceptance, tolerance, and the beauty of cultural diversity!

Joining me is Priya Krishna. Priya is a food reporter and video host for the New York Times and the bestselling author of multiple cookbooks including her new kid's cookbook, Priya's Kitchen Adventures.

From redefining what constitutes a "kid recipe" to navigating picky eating habits, in this episode, Priya shares practical tips for making food playful, fun, and educational. Her mouthwatering recipes will offer you an easy entry point to teach your kids to embrace diversity and expand their palate, one delicious bite at a time.

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

1:11 - What actually is the proper scientific definition of fight-or-flight?

3:30 - What is the difference between being mad and being in fight-or-flight?

6:13 - The first step: Simple physiological interventions you can take to decrease your stress levels.

12:58 - The power of slowing down.

16:35 - Reflecting on why you are being triggered so you can zoom out and shift some of the patterns.

22:37 - Even if you do lose your temper, you can always go back and repair. (Go to drsarahbren.com/lost-my-temper for a workbook that teaches you exactly how to reconnect, repair & rebuild trust after you lose your cool.)

✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨

Girls are often sent messages that can leave them feeling unseen, unheard, and boxed in by societal expectations. How can we as parents help them challenge these limiting narratives and grow into their full potential?

In this episode, I'm joined by Dr. Jo-Ann Finkelstein to explore:

- How societal norms shape girls’ self-perception, from the “pink frilly dress” phase to body image struggles in their teens.

- Research statistics that will blow your mind on everything from when gender bias begins, how widespread it is, and its impact on everything from what parents Google to how often girls and boys are called on in school.

- How to examine and confront the gender stereotypes we unknowingly pass on to our kids when so much of it is unconscious.

- Practical strategies to help kids understand and navigate the societal messages they encounter. Including a simple yet powerful hack for challenging gender roles when reading children’s books.

- Actionable advice for fostering resilience and confidence in girls, as well as how to teach boys to work alongside girls to combat toxic masculinity.

If you want to help your kids break free from limiting narratives and thrive as their authentic selves, this episode is a must-listen!

LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. JO-ANN:

https://www.joannfinkelstein.com/

READ DR. JO-ANN'S BOOK:

📚 Sexism & Sensibility: Raising Empowered, Resilient Girls in the Modern World

JOIN JO-ANN'S SUBSTACK:

📖 The Feminist Parent

FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA:

📱@joannfinkelstein.phd @joannfinkelstein.phd

📱@drsarahbren

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

📺 Ada Twist, Scientist

📺 Vida the Vet

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Secure attachment vs. social media: Navigating their effects on body image from early childhood to teen years with Dr. Miriam Steele

🎧 How can I parent my daughter so she doesn't become a people pleaser?

🎧 Raising emotionally intelligent sons: Parenting boys to combat "toxic masculinity" with Ruth Whippman

As parents, we don’t always get it right. But having the tools and skills to process our own big feelings and navigate emotion regulation in ourselves can have a big impact on how we support our children.

Joining me to talk about ways we can establish a healthy relationship to our emotions and teach our children to do the same is the founder of Curious Neuron, Dr. Cindy Hovington.

This episode will help you learn the benefit of slowing down, how to cut yourself some slack, and why the best way of teaching is through modeling. You’ll hear a psychologist and neuroscientist with 5 kids between them share their own relatable experiences with parenthood and offer strategies for using language, physiology, and brain science to create a honest and balanced approach to emotion regulation.

I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to info@drsarahbren.com
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resource

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

2:25 - Understanding the difference between typical development and when there is a sensory issue.

4:04 - The recommendations for how to handle sensory issues, ADHD, and anxiety at a young age are all the same, so it’s less about having to identify it perfectly and more about how we respond to it.

5:21 - At 4 years old a lot of these sensory-seeking behaviors are normative, once children reach around 7 years old, if the behaviors persist, then you may be able to identify this as an issue.

9:34 - Could this need to always touch his baby brother be a delayed jealousy issue?

10:48 - Examining how much attention you are giving to the concerning behavior and what happens before and after this action.

13:42 - How to effectively use praise to positively reinforce the behaviors you do like to see and prepare them ahead of time for anticipated challenges.

20:19 - Try to approach this issue with collaborative problem-solving to see what suggestions your child may come up with.

✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...

- What to do when your reassurances to your child doesn’t help soothe their anxiety.

- A sample script of the type of thing you can say (and wait to try to avoid saying) to help your child believe that they can cope with the feeling of anxiety.

- When our good intentions go bad - some of the most common “mistakes” parents make when navigating their child’s anxiety.

- Understanding the difference between temporarily soothing your child’s fears and using a more effective long-term solution.

- Is it anxiety? The questions to ask yourself to help you determine if your child is experiencing anxiety beyond a normative level.

- How to tell your child you are going to start doing things differently when they start feeling anxious. 

- Should you respond differently when your child’s anxiety is fueled by something that is possible (like a medical misdiagnosis) rather than something we as adults know are impossible (like a monster under the bed)?

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode with Eli Lebowitz about SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) that he developed

👉🏻 If you're interested in exploring SPACE and the treatment options for childhood anxiety, CLICK HERE to learn about the support options at Upshur Bren Psychology Group or SCHEDULE A FREE CALL to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about managing your child's separation anxiety

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about that will help your determine when it's time to seek support managing your child's anxiety

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about school refusal with Dr. Erica Miller

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Our past experiences shape our present behaviors and patterns, but by working toward healing our inner child, we can make meaningful shifts!

Jennifer Nurick joins me to discuss a profound way to approach healing by integrating many treatment approaches, including attachment theory, Internal Family Systems, EMDR, somatic psychotherapy, and more.

In this episode, we explore practical strategies for healing past traumas and nurturing inner and outer secure attachments through "parts work." Plus, Jennifer shares poignant examples of how this work translates into real-life interactions, especially in the realm of parenting, where attunement and repair are crucial for overall mental health and well-being.

LEARN MORE ABOUT JENNIFER:

https://www.psychotherapycentral.health/

READ JENNIFER'S BOOK:

Heal Your Anxious Attachment: Release Past Trauma, Cultivate Secure Relationships, and Nurture a Deeper Sense of Self

INTERESTED IN LEARNING MORE ABOUT ATTACHMENT SCIENCE?

Click HERE to download my free guide, The Four Pillars of Fostering Secure Attachment, helping you parent with a focus on attunement and trust.

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

2:10 - You can build your child's resilience by helping them establish healthy and secure relationships.

5:22 - Understanding the importance of "good enough" parenting for your child's development.

6:19 - What is the goal of parenting in our child's first year? Is there such a thing as a child being too young for you to build up their resilience?

9:22 - The difference between survival and resilience.

12:45 - What emotion regulation looks like developmentally in the first year and how to become attuned to your baby's different cries.

18:10 - Can we turn sadness and pain into ambition - and is that something you can teach a child?

23:01 - If we frame resilience as the ability to trust yourself and believe your feelings are important, the best way to teach that to a young child is to mirror what they are feeling as real and important.

✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

2:46 - Travel days can be free-for-alls when it comes to kids and screens - and that's okay.

7:10 - Incorporating a "brain break," a "snack break," and a "reading break" into your travel routine.

10:29 - Context switching can be difficult for children and is often something we need to help them build skills for, rather than expecting them to just be able to do it on their own.

12:08 - Dr. Rebecca shared some reflections of her own vulnerable parenting moments in real-time - sharing how even this conversation was kicking up feelings of shame and defensiveness, and how she worked through them.

16:14 - How to be kinder to ourselves and make mindset shifts when things don't go quite as planned.

20:58 - Modeling appropriate screen use can be one of the most effective forms of teaching (but we don't have to do it perfectly all the time to still have an impact!)

✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

- Unpacking what you consider to be a “chore” versus what is just an expectation of your child as a member of the household.

- How do you teach your child to do chores (and why you may need to remind them to do it over and over and over again!)

- At what age is it appropriate to expect your child to be able to accomplish tasks like chores?

- How to take advantage of routines when it comes to setting expectations and creating habits with your child.

- Being intentional about looking for opportunities where your child can help out that are aligned with your family values.

- Will giving chores decrease your child’s intrinsic motivation? (And why it’s not so black and white)

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about unlocking motivation with Dr. Ellen Braaten

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about balancing the load of parenthood with Lauren A. Tetenbaum

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode that busts positive parenting myths with Tracy Gillett

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...

- What are sensory seeking and sensory inhibiting behaviors and drives?

- How you can determine whether your child’s "aggressive behaviors” are actually sensory seeking - and how this changes the interventions you use.

- Are these behaviors volitional? Our answer might surprise you!

- What to do if your child’s aggressive behaviors don’t seem to be fueled by a reaction to anything in the environment (aka, they hit the kid next to them seemingly out of nowhere.)

- The occupational therapy strategies that parents can use with your kids to activate their sensory input systems.

- Why helping kids understand themselves opens the door to allowing them to build their regulation toolkit.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about sensory processing with occupational therapist Laura Petix

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about getting your toddler to stop yelling when she is upset

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about whether some common parenting interventions might be making your child act more aggressively

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Pediatrician Dr. Caity Gilman is here to shed light on the facts surrounding vaccines and address common concerns and questions she hears most often from parents in her practice, like:

- Does the measles, mumps and rubella (MMR) vaccine cause autism? (Spoiler: No, vaccines do not cause autism.)

- Do I need to vaccinate my child based on my pediatrician’s suggested schedule?

- What are the risks of stopping administering vaccines to children?

- If vaccines are so good, why don’t we have them for more things, like the common cold?

- Is it really necessary to get a flu shot every year?

- Are people given the actual disease when they get a vaccine? If so, then why not just get the illness itself and let my immune system learn to fight it?

- Should you give your baby Tylenol before a vaccine so the shot hurts less?

If you’ve ever had questions or felt unsure about vaccines, this episode is packed with helpful, expert-driven insights. Dr. Gilman’s thoughtful, research-backed approach is sure to leave you feeling more informed and empowered!

SHOW NOTES:

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ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

1. American Academy of Pediatrics: Immunizations

2. American Academy of Pediatrics :Examine the Evidence

3. CDC: Vaccines for Children

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 How mold, Lyme, pesticides, and other toxins may be impacting your child's physical and mental health with Dr. Pejman Katiraei

🎧 How to ease your childs anxiety for doctors visits with pediatrician Dr. Rachel Geronemus

Working parents have traditionally been forced to compartmentalize their roles. Make sure we don't hear the baby crying on the Zoom. Be fully present as a parent without any distractions or interruptions. But we are whole beings, with both of those vital parts integrated to form who we are. 

Here to help parents bridge that gap and shift the narrative to see how being both career-driven AND family-focused can be an incredible strength is Daisy Dowling. Daisy is the Founder & CEO of Workparent and the author of Workparent: The Complete Guide to Succeeding on the Job, Staying True to Yourself, and Raising Happy Kids.

Whether you are an employee, entrepreneur, freelancer, or employer, this episode will cover practical strategies you can use to help you create an ideal home and office environment that support your needs as a whole person.

I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!

✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren

✨ Send an email to info@drsarahbren.com

✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources 

Reduce stress around mealtimes and help your child be more flexible with what they eat!

Joining me today is Dr. Yaara Shimshoni, a clinical psychologist and a clinical assistant professor at the Yale School of Medicine, Child Study Center.

We'll explore the complexities of Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID) and its distinction from typical picky eating. Yaara will detail how this severe eating disorder impacts children's health and social lives, and offer practical strategies for parents to reduce stress around mealtimes, encourage flexibility in eating habits, and break the cycle of accommodation that often exacerbates these issues.

Plus, we'll help parents take the guiding principles of a therapy approach called SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions), and learn how to apply it with kids who are showing more normative picky eating challenges, that are not clinical, but still can be frustrating and exasperating for parents to navigate.

LEARN MORE ABOUT YAARA:

Yaara Shimshoni

WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT SPACE, CHECK OUT MY INTERVIEW WITH THE CREATOR, DR. ELI LEBOWITZ:

Listen to the episode

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...

3:10 - Resilience and distress tolerance is baked into being a younger sibling.

5:31 - When you have the bandwidth to slow down to allow your child to foster their independence, try to lean into those moments.

7:32 - We often expect our youngest to keep up with our oldest.

8:43 - Unpacking the guilt we often feel about parenting multiple children.

11:09 - How to be "transparent about the triaging" we're doing and why we're doing what.

15:20 - How to shift these strategies to apply to younger children and help toddlers adjust to having a new baby sibling, too.

✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨

After the birth of her daughter, Catherine Price noticed a disconnect—her baby was looking up at her, while she was looking down at her phone. This sparked her interest in understanding why our phones are so hard to put down, what that’s doing to our memory, creativity, and overall lived experience, and how we can break free from the grip of technology to live more intentional lives.

In this episode we explore:

- Catherine’s definition of fun: The overlapping of playfulness, connection, and flow. Plus, how understanding each can help us experience genuine fun that refills our buckets.

- When our jobs don’t have a clear start time and end time, it can become addicting to staying connected 24/7. Tune in for specific strategies to intentionally combat this.

- Catherine coaches Dr. Sarah through the relatable struggles she and so many parents experience when attempting to put down the phone (Sneak peek: it’s taken her 6 months to plug in the alarm clock she bought instead of using her phone next to her bed.)

- An easy first step people can take to cut the cord with their phone. 

- Strategies for when and how to communicate with your kids about screen time (that don’t cause them to shut down or feel defensive). Plus, how to break down the process of getting your kid their first phone into smaller steps that usher them more gradually into the digital world.

- Setting appropriate tech boundaries that honor your family's values while also taking into consideration how much of kids’ social lives are facilitated through technology today.

Listen now for insights and actionable tips to help you free yourself from your screens to have more fun!

LEARN MORE ABOUT CATHERINE PRICE:

https://catherineprice.com/

READ CATHERINE'S BOOKS:

📚 The Power of Fun: How to Feel Alive Again

📚 How to Break Up with Your Phone: The 30-Day Plan to Take Back Your Life

JOIN CATHERINE'S SUBSTACK:

📖 How to Feel Alive with Catherine Price

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

👉🏻 Click HERE to sign up for Dr. Sarah's newsletter to find out if she is able to complete Catherine’s challenge to take her phone out of her bedroom for the weekend!

🤳 Opal - The app Dr. Sarah said she uses to help her manage her screen time.

📱 ScreenZen, Brick, and Unpluq- Products Catherine recommends to help people manage their screen use.

📺 Watch Diane Sawyer's ABC News report, Screen Time

📳 Pinwheel, Gabb, and Troomi - Kid and teen phones Catherine mentions in the episode.

📚 Read The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt and the The New York Times essay, Gen Z Has Regrets by Jonathan Haidt and Will Johnson

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Regulation, reward systems, and rest: Rewiring the way our kids interact with screens with Alé Duarte

🎧 How play could be the key to mental health and well-being with Dr. Mike Rucker

🎧 What are the do’s and don’t for introducing screens to my toddler?

🎧 Helping our children form a healthy relationship to technology with Emily Cherkin

Being intentional about the way we parent our young children now can help lay critical groundwork that will allow them to flourish in adulthood. Lessons like independence, self-confidence, and resilience can all be fostered through helping to build emotional intelligence in our kids.

Joining me to discuss how you can help prepare your own children to tackle life in the real world is mother of 4 and Family Life & Leadership Coach, Nellie Harden.

We’ll talk about why and how you can use your parent-child relationship as an incredibly effective motivator for kids, how to help children understand the difference between fair and equal by breaking it down into terms they can understand, how trusting in your children teaches them to trust in themselves, and many other valuable lessons every parent will want to learn!

Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren? 

✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/

✨ Subscribe to the weekly newsletter: https://drsarahbren.com/join-newsletter

✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources

Discover the impacts of EdTech in schools and how parents can advocate for their children’s education with technology attorney Andy Liddell

- What EdTech is and how technology like iPads and Chromebooks are being integrated into classrooms.

- The hidden dangers of screens on the learning experience, what is at risk when hands-on learning is replaced by more passive educational experiences, and how to optimize information retention, critical thinking, and problem-solving skills.

- The role of big tech in surveillance capitalism, persuasive design, and selling children’s data.

- How much control do schools have over blocking and restricting content on school-issued devices? (Spoiler: Most technology comes with no restrictions in place.)

- How tech in classrooms is displacing social interactions, interfering with relationship development, overstimulating vulnerable children, and putting stress on an already fragile system.

- What parents can do to teach media literacy, advocate for their child’s privacy, and push for more thoughtful use of technology in schools

If you’re concerned or just curious about the influence of technology on your child’s learning and development, this conversation is packed with strategies and insights to help you navigate these challenges with confidence and purpose.

LEARN MORE ABOUT ANDY & EDTECH LAW CENTER:

https://edtech.law/

REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

1. Read the research on EdTech conducted by Jared Cooney Horvath, PhD, MEd

2. Social Media Victims Law Center

3. Wait Until 8th 

4. Fairplay

5. Everyschool

6. Social Studies Documentary 

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Regulation, reward systems, and rest: Rewiring the way our kids interact with screens with Alé Duarte

🎧 The battle over screen time: Helping our children form a healthy relationship to technology with Emily Cherkin/

🎧 Have phones displaced our ability to play and have fun? How to be intentional with your tech use with Catherine Price

Kim Mishkin is here to shed light on Project-Based Learning, an education model that encourages kids to explore, problem-solve, and collaborate in ways that tap into their natural curiosity and interests.

In this episode we explore:

- What Project-Based Learning (PBL) is and how it differs from the standard American education model.

- The origins of the PBL model and what current research reveals about its efficacy for educating kids? 

- Why allowing children to help shape the direction of their curriculum reinforces their motivation to learn and fosters curiosity.

- How core academic subjects like reading, writing, and math are covered with a PBL approach.

- Will kids who have been educated in a PBL elementary and middle-school be able to successfully transition to a standard American academic high-school or college environment?

- Ways parents can integrate elements of the PBL approach into everyday life, helping to build critical thinking and curiosity in their children, even outside a PBL school.

If you’re curious about alternative education models or looking for ways to inspire a love of learning in your child, this conversation is packed with insights you won't want to miss!

LEARN MORE ABOUT HUDSON LAB SCHOOL:

https://www.hudsonlabschool.com/

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

👉🏻 PBL Works

📚 Project Based Learning (PBL) Starter Kit

🎥 Most Likely to Succeed

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Debunking the myth of learning styles: What the research actually says are the best ways to teach our children with Dr. Dan Willingham

🎧 The hidden dangers of an achievement centric approach with Jennifer Breheny Wallace

🎧 Fostering independent play and a love of learning with Lizzie Assa

Masks can cause a great deal of stress for parents - it’s one more thing to remember before getting out the door in the morning, can be a source of power struggles, and perhaps the most daunting, the fear that months spent without seeing full faces will impede their child’s development.

Today I am joined by speech-language pathologist and founder of Let’s Gab Speech, Becky Birkenfeld. Becky will answer all our burning questions about mask wearing and suggest some actionable and simple strategies parents can start implementing to encourage social, emotional and language development with their child.

I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!

✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren

✨ Send an email to info@drsarahbren.com

✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources 

Would you say you're a 👁️ visual or an 👂🏼 auditory learner? What if I told you that the research has actually debunked the theory that learning styles even exist?

So, then what actually is the best way for helping our kids to learn, feel successful, and become resilient?

That is exactly what I’ll be talking about with University of Virginia Professor of Psychology and the author of several amazing books, including the best-selling Why Don't Students Like School?, and most recently, Outsmart Your Brain, Dr. Dan Willingham.

In this episode we’re shedding light on the factors that influence a child's sense of self-efficacy, the importance of a growth mindset, and the delicate balance between praising effort and problem-solving for success.

Whether you’re a parent, teacher, or clinician, this is an episode you won’t want to miss!

Uncover the secrets to raising intentional and reflective kids! 🌱👨‍👩‍👧‍👦

How does our perception of life shape our sense of self? And how can we teach our children to examine the meaning they make of their feelings and experiences to help them learn to be intentional in their actions?

Prepare to expand your horizons, reconsider your perspective, and embark on a transformational journey with this week's guest and the author of GROW UP: Becoming the Parents Your Kids Deserve, Gary John Bishop.

Join us as we uncover the secrets to nurturing secure attachments and fostering reflective functioning skills in our children. It's time to empower the next generation with the tools they need to create meaningful lives. Don't miss out on this episode that promises to reshape your understanding of self, parenting, and personal growth.

I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!

✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren

✨ Send an email to sarah@drsarahbren.com

✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources 

Family planning isn’t easy for all parents. And having an uncomplicated or full-term pregnancy once does not guarantee the same results the next time around.

Parenting while coping with any form of reproductive loss, be that unsuccessful IVF attempts, miscarriages, stillbirths, and beyond can be a grueling reality for many families.

Here to discuss how to navigate fertility struggles in parenthood is clinical psychologist Dr. Shara Brofman.

If you are going through something like this right now, my hope is that this episode will help you feel understood and validated and offer you strategies for coping with grief, finding ways to move forward, and seeking aligned resources for support.

I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!

✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren

✨ Send an email to info@drsarahbren.com

✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources 

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

3:07 - Do we encourage or dissuade our kids from asking people if they are a girl or a boy?

5:32 - Separating your own discomfort and embarrassment when your child says something that goes against the social construct.

7:28 - Kids point out differences when they see differences, and we don't need to shut that down.

9:13 - Being open to your own child's curiosity while helping them from "othering" the child they are asking questions of.

15:25 - When your child says something that has the potential to offend the person they are speaking to, how can we use that experience to facilitate conversations you may not otherwise have the opportunity to have.

18:49 - Helping your child imagine what it may feel like for the other person to receive this type of question.

✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨

No one prepares you for hearing that your child is sick. Navigating a child’s harrowing medical diagnosis is often one of the hardest things a parent can go through. Today, we talk with a mother who has walked this path, and how she found a way to redefine her narrative in order to diminish her pain and suffering in one of her life's most challenging moments.

Joining me today is board-certified radiologist and Certified Life Coach Dr. Maggie Kang. Dr. Kang was faced with the unthinkable when her 9-year old healthy daughter was suddenly diagnosed with a rare disease, and life as she knew it took an unexpected turn. Through the pain and uncertainty, she navigated the challenging terrain of her daughter's illness, transforming the traumatic experience into a catalyst for personal growth and healing. 

Don't miss this touching and insightful interview to hear Dr. Kang open up about where she was able to find her strength and resilience, her realization of the impact her own mental health had on her daughter, and the transformative shift when she choose to focus on the positives.

LISTEN TO DR. KANG'S TEDX TALK:

The Truth About Pain and Suffering Will Change Your Life

GET DR. KANG'S DAUGHTER'S BOOK:

My Hospital Stay by Nell Choi

ADDITIONAL PARENTING RESOURCES:

Click HERE to download my free guide that will help you to understand the building blocks of resilience - with actual phrases you can swap out to help your child to tolerate distress, develop a growth mindset, increase self esteem, and be more resilient!

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

1:25 - Some of the most common traits and characteristics of a people pleaser.

5:00 - How the role of gender plays a part in people pleasing.

7:44 - Subtle language shifts parents can make to promote your child's ability to tune into themselves and their needs.

10:28 - Helping bridge and stretch your child's understanding of themselves and their needs without discounting their feelings.

14:20 - To help your child not become a people pleaser, it's helpful to teach them to tune into their internal compass so they know exactly what and how to please themselves.

16:25 - The more secure our attachment systems, the less likely we are to be chronically avoiding our own needs in the service of others.

21:34 - As millennial women, many of us have been conditioned to be people pleasers, so doing work on ourselves and modeling this to our children can have a major impact.

✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨

The way we parent isn’t just shaped by psychology—it’s deeply influenced by culture, shaping how our children experience love, discipline, and security in ways we may not even realize. Joining me to unpack this is clinical psychologist Dr. Miguelina German.

In this episode we explore:

- Two overarching parenting frameworks, Attachment Theory and Baumrind Parenting Practices, and how understanding the nuances of each can help us in our parenting approach. 

- The importance of “warmth” in parenting and what the research reveals of the positive correlation between our child’s perception of high warmth with positive outcomes.

- How generational trauma, values, and cultural norms can inform differences in parenting strategies and styles. 

- The impact of being separated from a caregiver as a young child and the attachment rupture that can occur during critical developmental times.

- How to repair a relationship that has undergone an attachment rupture.

Parenting is not one-size-fits-all. By understanding the interplay between attachment, cultural influences, and parenting styles, we can create stronger, more secure connections with our children.

LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. MIGUELINA:

https://www.drmiguelinagerman.com/

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

• Ghosts in the Nursery: A Psychoanalytic Approach to the Problems of Impaired Infant-Mother Relationships

• Angels in the nursery: The intergenerational transmission of benevolent parental influences

• Dr. Dan Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson - The 4 S's

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Understanding parenting styles and the benefits of an authoritative approach

🎧 Breaking the cycle of insecure attachment: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with Dr. Miriam Steele

🎧 Positive parenting isn’t permissive parenting: How to integrate effective discipline that prioritizes emotional and and mental health with Sarah R. Moore

Parents are redefining what it means to be a working mom or dad and embracing what today’s guest, Neha Ruch, calls the grey area. As the founder of Mother Untitled she has a unique pulse on the mindset and challenges that modern mothers are facing when deciding to hit pause on career to focus on family life.

In this episode we’ll discuss tuning into your own needs to determine what works best for right now and recognizing there will be time to readjust as you and your family grow and evolve. We’ll offer advice for navigating identify shifts, redefining self-care, and learning to feel confident fielding the all-too-common and all-too-intrusive question, what do you do all day?

I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!

✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren

✨ Send an email to info@drsarahbren.com

✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources 

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

- When you notice unhealthy patterns in how you tend to show up in relationships or in past therapy, how you can communicate that to your new therapist to help treatment be more successful.

- If you're feeling overwhelmed by the idea of starting with a new therapist, we share a conversation starter that may make you feel more confident.

- Strategies for vetting potential therapists - both for professional expertise as well as goodness of fit.

- Red flags to be on the lookout for as you are deciding if a therapist is right for you.

- Why it can be helpful to have a basic understanding of the different types of evidence-based treatments and clinical interventions for complex trauma, or whatever mental health challenge you’re struggling with.

- How to take into account the cultural, personal, and clinical sensitivities you may have when making your choice.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

👉🏻 Click here to lean more about support options at Upshur Bren Psychology Group and to schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to learn about the resources for your unique needs.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Using presence as the antidote to trauma: How we begin to break cycles with Dr. Jacob Ham 

🎧 Simplifying the jargon associated with therapy: How to be an educated consumer of psychological interventions with Dr. Katie C. Lewis

🎧 Parenting after complex trauma: A mother's journey toward healing in parenthood with Stephanie Foo

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

2:02 - Distinguishing between the different interventions for how to respond to biting with a young child versus an older toddler.

5:55 - Babies don't often bite out of angry, but for many other reasons including exploratory and sensory seeking behaviors.

7:53 - When a baby bites another kid and the child has a big reaction, our baby may bite more because they are exploring the response this may illicit.

9:20 - The less attention we give this behavior the more likely we can see a reduction to the biting.

12:04 - If your child is prone to biting other kids, you may have to be their "buddy guard" for a while to try to catch it in the moment before they lose interest in biting.

✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨

A deep dive on combating parental burnout to start off 2025 with more balance.

In this episode I dive deep into…

- Understanding what parental burnout actually is and how it is different from regular “stress” in parenthood?

- The pros and cons of the rise of the “Parenting Industrial Complex.”

- The output/input formula that will inevitably lead to depletion, and why parents of sensitive children are more susceptible to an imbalance in this equation.

- An exercise you can use to address (and flip!) your personal output/input equation to create more balance for yourself.

- Taking a Family-Systems approach to addressing and treating parental burnout.

- How parental burnout can impact the parent-child relationship, leading to more dysregulated behaviors from our kids, us losing our cool, and creating a self-perpetuating negative feedback loop.

- Why traditional self-care strategies don’t work for combatting parental burnout, and my recommendations for practical, realistic, and attainable strategies that actually do!

LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. SARAH BREN:

https://drsarahbren.com/

FOLLOW DR. SARAH ON INSTAGRAM:

@drsarahbren

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

• The Surgeon General Report: Parental Mental Health & Well-Being 

• In one study, Parents whose children experienced anxiety or ADHD had two to four times higher risk of experiencing parental burnout (anxiety: OR, 2.54; ADHD: OR, 4.41) compared with those whose children had no anxiety or ADHD. [1]

• Addressing systemic problems with Raena Boston, Lauren Smith Brody, and Alexis Barad-Cutler

• Encouraging your child to engage in independent play

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Quit the never-ending to-do list: How to find balance in the home, at work, and in parenthood with Chelsi Jo

🎧 Is fun the antidote to burnout? How play could be the key to mental health and well-being with Dr. Mike Rucker

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...

- Breaking down the different strategies you’d use with kids whether this is a single one-off big fight, or if conflict is more prevalent in your home.

- What a conversation with your child might sound like and how to adapt it to be most authentic to you.

- Specific things to do in order to lessen the negative impact of parental conflict on your kids.

- How to help your child make sense of what happened in a narrative that allows them to understand they are safe and the fight wasn’t their fault.

- A developmentally appropriate way to share with your child that sometimes the people we love the most are the ones that we get into the biggest arguments with.

- How to reassure and repair with a baby ore very young child who is still too little to understand your words.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about creating a thriving partnership with Dr. Suzanne Burger

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about understanding parental dysregulation with Dr. Amber Thornton

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about resolving conflicts with Dr. Rick Hanson

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

>> Do you need support coparenting your child with your ex? Reach out to Upshur Bren Psychology Group to schedule a free consultation call to learn more about the individualized treatment options. <<

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

3:03 - The quality of the attachment in every relationship is different. Kids can have a secure attachment bond to you and a more insecure relationship with someone else and still internalize the positive benefits of secure attachment.

6:16 - Handling parenting with a partner or an ex who has a parenting style that is misaligned from your own.

9:25 - Assessing the varying degrees of animosity or amicability in deciphering how to communicate with an ex partner about your child's feelings.

9:49 - Bringing in a therapist can be helpful to have information coming from an objective party and can lead to less of an emotional response.

14:45 - How to be the safe place for your child when they are experiencing difficulty.

✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨

Helping our children learn to understand, process, and make sense of their emotions can be pivotal for fostering their mental well-being all the way into adulthood.

Join me for an enlightening conversation that promises to empower you as a parent or caregiver is the author of the new book TINY HUMANS, BIG EMOTIONS, Alyssa Blask Campbell.

Discover practical strategies to support your child's emotional regulation, build resilience, and foster empathy, and explore the ways sensory sensitivities can be harnessed as a path to nurturing emotionally intelligent children.

I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!

✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren

✨ Send an email to sarah@drsarahbren.com

✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources 

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, me, and and a very special guest talk about...

2:48 - The changes a 5th grader, Henry, is expecting are in store for him before the start of a new school year and how he feels about them.

4:22 - What it feels like to meet new people and how a kid views making new friends.

5:13 - The one thing Henry thinks would help him feel ready for the start of school, and what he thinks all parents should know would help your own kids.

8:04 - The most helpful tools and strategies he uses that help him stay focused in the classroom and how he talks to his teachers to get them to understand why these things are useful for him.

11:05 - How he calms his nerves during the summer before he knows who his teacher is, the other kids who will be in his class, and what he can expect in the fall.

13:38 - What makes him feel supported most by his parents when a kid at school is mean to him and what Henry thinks are the best thing other parents can do with their own kids.

19:26 - Managing technology, navigating group texts, and what his group of friends do during their in-person hang outs.

WANT TO LISTEN TO SIMILAR PODCAST EPISODES:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping our kids form strong friendships with Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about handling peer rejection in early adolescence with Dr. Emily Upshur

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about talking to your child, tween, and teen in a way that helps them truly hear you with Elizabeth Bennett

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

5:38 - How to determine what is driving your child's desire to quit an activity.

6:15 - Weighing the pros and cons between letting your child quit (and potentially not learning to persist, make a commitment, and tolerate struggle) versus not letting them quit and forcing them to do something that may no longer be serving them

7:05 - Determining the parameters around when and how you allow them to stop an activity.

9:38 - "The goal, and how we're going to respond to this, is to explore it rather than fix it."

15:18 - How to separate our own expectations and desires from what we project onto our children.

✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨

>>> Click here to download my FREE Mental Health Postpartum Checklist that walks you through creating a personalized mental health support system and allows you to feel more confident and relaxed, knowing you have a plan for whatever your unique postpartum experience may be. <<<

Joining me this week is clinical psychologist and the author of Rattled: How to Calm New Mom Anxiety with the Power of the Postpartum Brain, Dr. Nicole Pensak. Together we have an enlightening conversation that not only acknowledges the challenges of motherhood but also celebrates the incredible strength and potential it brings. 

In this episode, we explore:

Matrescence: Understanding the profound transition into motherhood and its impact on the brain’s neuroplasticity.

Silent Patients: Recognizing the often-overlooked mental health needs of mothers and advocating for better support systems. (Plus, how to do that for yourself until society catches up.)

Neuroplasticity as a Superpower: How the brain's adaptability can be harnessed for personal growth and improved cognitive functioning in mothers.

Motherhood as a Normative "Trauma": Addressing the intense, transformative nature of motherhood and reframing it as a period of growth and strength

Connection, Bonding, and Burnout: Practical tips for navigating the emotional rollercoaster of early motherhood, from bonding with your baby to managing the transition back to work.

Tune in to learn how to navigate motherhood with self compassion, resilience, and empowerment.

LEARN MORE ABOUT NICOLE:

https://www.drnicoleamoyalpensak.com/

GET NICOLE'S BOOK:

Rattled: How to Calm New Mom Anxiety with the Power of the Postpartum Brain

INTERESTED IN LEARNING MORE ABOUT THE FIRST YEAR OF PARENTHOOD?

Click HERE to sign up for my FREE workshop, Confident Parenting from the Start, to get tools and strategies that you can put into practice right away to challenge self-doubt, put an end to your panic-Googling, and finally find the ease and enjoyment in early parenthood!

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...

3:40 - As a culture, we don't often talk about the way the body works and it can be shocking for parents when we see our young child have an erection or explore what feels good to them.

4:50 - Finding that in-between space between understanding that this isn't sexual at this age and also acknowledging that this feels good.

7:38 - When, where, and how it's best to have these conversations with your child.

9:22 - Understanding that kids sometimes touch their private parts as a way for self-soothing can help you identify if they are doing that in public as a means to regulate and how you can support that need in a more appropriate manner.

13:55 - We don't want to infuse shame in exploring your body, but hand-in-hand with that comes addressing safe and healthy boundaries.

17:58 - Understanding the nuances of privacy.

WANT TO LEARN MORE THIS TOPIC?

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about sexual abuse prevention and teaching body safety to children with Feather Berkower

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about raising your child to be sex positive with Dr. Holly Richmond

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...

2:49 - Sharing information in an honest and developmentally appropriate way is helpful for kids, so it can be empowering to tell your child the name of the diagnosis.

3:50 - Want to learn more about helping kids feel comfortable and confident taking advantage of school supports? Listen to the podcast episode we reference in this conversation.

6:24 - Suggestions for specific language you can use to speak to your child about a diagnosis.

9:54 - When is the right time to share this with your child who received this diagnosis as well as their siblings?

10:45 - It's important not to avoid talking about the diagnosis or the symptoms with your child, which can inadvertently communicate to them that we don't think they can handle it.

14:41 - If your child is older, how to bring up this conversation and repair anything that they may have inferred and encourage open and honest conversation going forward.

19:00 - How to support the non-afflicted sibling so they know it's okay for them to take up space and also help them feel empathetic for their sibling that takes up a lot of space.

✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...

- The urge may be to talk your child out of thinking they're "dumb," but it can be helpful to stay with this feeling and lean into being curious about her experience.

- How to zoom out and determine if your child is speaking out of frustration and is just emoting or if they actually have internalized that they think they aren't smart.

- How to talk with your child in a way that helps build back their confidence in themself when they are struggling to learn something new, like reading.

- We also want to try not to catastrophize this situation either - just because your child is saying this doesn't mean they will permanently have a poor self-image.

- You can boost your child's self-confidence by feeling confident in their ability to handle the challenges they face.

- How to get clear with your kid about what they think "smart" and "dumb" means, and building flexibility around those ideas.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

👉🏻 If you're interested in exploring whether your child could benefit from a Neuropsychological Evaluation, CLICK HERE to learn about what we offer at Upshur Bren Psychology Group or SCHEDULE A FREE CALL to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs.

📚 BoyMom: Reimagining Boyhood in the Age of Impossible Masculinity by Ruth Whippman

🎥 Inside Out and Inside Out 2

WANT TO LISTEN TO MORE EPISODES ON THIS TOPIC:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do when your child says "I hate myself"

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about learning styles and what the research reveals are the best methods for teaching children with Dan Willingham

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the hidden dangerous and pressures of achievement centered systems with Jennifer Breheny Wallace

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

2:24 - How this current generation is working to lessen the stigma of having learning difficulties or a neurodiverse brain by approaching it as a difference rather than a deficit.

4:20 - How parents can be collaborative with their child's school to help them feel comfortable getting support in the classroom.

7:26 - Understanding a child's genetic history can empower parents to make specific choices (proactively and in the moment) based on that unique knowledge.

9:02 - Teaching your child to use, "I'm the type of person who..." statements can help them approach the things that are challenging for them without judgment.

15:29 - How comparing an invisible disability (like ADHD, OCD, anxiety, etc.) with physical disabilities can help children feel comfortable accepting support.

18:45 - Modeling coping skills by talking about your unique brain, body, and your process in navigating mental or physical differences without infusing shame.

✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨

Here to talk about the unique challenges that come from pregnancy and postpartum with multiples is the founder of Gold Coast Doulas, Kristin Revere.

In this episode we explore:

- What exactly is a doula and how can doulas be helpful for expecting and postpartum parents, especially for those with multiples?

- Understanding the emotional, physical, and logistical stress associated with having twins or triplets.

- Resources that are available and insurance coverage options broken down for those seeking access to doula care (whether you're having one baby or more).

- A framework—including the most important questions to ask—when looking for a doula that can meet your family's unique needs and best support you.

- The difference between a night nurse and a postpartum doula and what to consider to determine what type of care would be best for your family.

- Baby registry tips, postpartum strategies, and what an average day with a doula supporting multiples may look like.

If you've ever wondered what a doula does and how they can help, especially if you're expecting multiples, this conversation is for you!

SHOW NOTES:

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LEARN MORE ABOUT KRISTIN & GOLD COAST DOULAS:

https://www.goldcoastdoulas.com/

READ HER BOOK:

📚 Supported: Your Guide to Birth and Baby by Kristin Revere and Alyssa Veneklase

LISTEN TO HER PODCAST:

🎧 Ask The Doulas Podcast

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

Fertility, birth, and postpartum insurance and care resources:

- Carrot

- Progyny

- Maven

- Tricare

- MomsBloom

🤳 DOWNLOAD my free postpartum mental health checklist

💻 WATCH my free workshop, Confident Parenting from the Start, to get tools and strategies that you can put into practice right away to challenge self-doubt, put an end to your panic-Googling, and finally find the ease and enjoyment in early parenthood!

👉🏻 JOIN ME in The Authentic Parent, my comprehensive self-paced course that takes my workshop to the next level and teaches you everything you need to know (that no one tells you ahead of time) for how to confidently move through your first year of parenthood.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Maternal mental health throughout pregnancy and parenthood with birth doula Carson Meyer

🎧 Rethinking the birth plan: How to create a plan with your OBGYN that supports resilience and reduces anxiety with Dr. Shieva Ghofrany

🎧 NICU survival guide: Establishing a secure attachment even when your child is in the hospital with the founders of NICU Nook

🎧 Beyond postpartum depression: A breakdown of all PMADs

🎧 Becoming a grandparent: Embracing the complicated identity shifts that come when your baby has a baby with Carol Merle- Fishman

When it comes to healthy eating habits, it's essential to focus on balance and trust rather than strict rules or restrictions - which for many of us, is the exact opposite of the way we were raised.

Amelia Sherry, registered dietitian/nutritionist and the author of Diet-Proof Your Daughter, is joining me today to talk about ways parents can make this mindset shift in order to support and nurture their child’s healthy relationship to food.

Throughout today's episode, we'll explore the role parents play in shaping a child's body image and feelings toward food, and offer you some practical tips for fostering healthy eating habits and reducing mealtime power struggles with your own children.

I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!

✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren

✨ Send an email to sarah@drsarahbren.com

✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources 

Have you ever noticed the way we speak to babies? Our baby-talk voices tend to be a lot more melodic than our natural speech patterns. And there’s a good reason for that! Music is more emotional.

Joining me today is a music therapist, psychotherapist and the founder of Baby In Tune, Vered. She and I discuss the power of our voice, how music can play an essential role in regulating our child’s nervous system, the importance of lullabies, and strategies for how music can defuse tense parenting moments.

Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren? 

✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram

✨ Click here to join the weekly newsletter 

✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources

As parents, we may want to shield our children from any pain or sadness they may face, but if we’re honest with ourselves, we know this is impossible. So rather than fighting the inevitable, our children are better served if we work to help them understand how to weather the storm, to equip them with tools so they’re capable of processing and working through the full range of emotions life has in store for them.

Joining me today is Kim John Payne, author of several books, including the number 1 Best Seller Simplicity Parenting. This episode is overflowing with Kim’s time-honored guidance for raising healthy children who feel confident to explore and create, as well as mindset shifts to make ourselves that can help us to be more present and allow us to truly enjoy the journey. 

Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren? 

✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram

✨ Click here to join the weekly newsletter 

✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources  

Joining me today is Dr. Funke Afolabi-Brown to share the science behind why sleep is so essential, how to adapt sleep strategies for those with neurodiverse brains, and practical tips for tackling common sleep challenges.

In this episode, we explore:

- The science of why sleep is so important and foundational for children (spoiler: it’s tied to growth, brain development, immune system regulation, emotion management, and more!)

- The inadvertent mistake many parents make (that even Dr. Funke made with her own son) when they don’t properly understand the different phases of childhood sleep.

- What the research reveals about the sleep architecture and the quality of sleep for kids with neurodiverse brains. (And why it’s not just about quantity.)

- Behavioral cues and environmental strategies you can use to shift your child’s circadian rhythm.

- Why “catching up on sleep” during the weekend actually works against your child.

- Breaking down the R.I.S.E. U.P. Protocol to help both kids and parents wake up easier and stop feeling the urge to hit snooze one more time. 

- The association of ADHD with mouth breathing during sleep and whether or not you should consider physical therapy for mouth breathers.

- When you may want to consider getting a sleep evaluation for your child and what you can expect from a sleep test.

Don’t miss this deep dive into the science of sleep, actionable tips for better rest, and strategies to help your whole family thrive!

LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. FUNKE:

https://www.therestfulsleepplace.com/

READ DR. FUNKE'S BOOK:

📚 Beyond Tired: A Sleep Physician’s Guide to Solving Your Child’s Sleep Problems for Good

WATCH DR. FUNKE'S YOUTUBE VIDEOS:

💻 RestfulSleepMD

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

📱@restfulsleepmd and @drsarahbren

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

The sunrise clock Dr. Sarah uses to make waking up easier for her

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 How to make mindfulness more “user-friendly” for parents with ADHD with Dr. Lidia Zylowska

🎧 ADHD and attachment security: How to connect with and support your neurodiverse child with Dr. Norrine Russell

🎧 Parenting with the “Whole-Brain”: How to work with the brain rather than fight against with Dr. Dan Siegel

Secure attachment is not that fragile! After all, it’s biologically hardwired in our children to connect with us to ensure their greatest likelihood of survival—we have to actively work against our children’s and our own biology to mess it up.

In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur is back to help answer a listener’s concern about maintaining a secure attachment bond with her baby once she goes back to work. We’ll discuss the basics of attachment theory, dispel the myth that you need to be a martyr to be a working parent, offer tips for finding small moments of connection and attunement throughout your day and help you distinguish the difference between your child’s feelings versus the feelings you may be projecting onto them.

Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren? 

✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram

✨ Click here to join the weekly newsletter 

✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

4:00 - Using screens when YOU need a break is absolutely okay and you shouldn't feel any shame or guilt around doing this!

5:05 - The difference between television and a tablet in regard to your child's development.

8:40 - How to separate your own anxiety and fear mongering around screen time so you can be educated and intentional about your child's use of technology.

9:30 - The cost/benefit of giving your child a tablet versus you keeping them off of a screen and then feeling so burnt out that you lose your cool and yell at your child.

13:03 - Ask yourself, "are screens decreasing your stress or adding more to it?"

16:38 - What the research reveals about how screens impact executive function development and the development of attention span.

18:55 - The difference between independent screen time versus interacting with screens together with your child.

Additional podcast episodes for how you can build your child's ability to engage in independent play:

1. Fostering independent play and a love of learning with Lizzie Assa

2. The Wonders of play with Jennie Monness

3. How play could be the key to mental health and well-being with Mike Rucker

✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

- Exactly when we’d recommend you tell your child that you're pregnant.

- Why it’s important to help your child make sense of what is happening in their life—and the conclusions they can jump to if we don’t share things (in a developmentally appropriate manner) with them.

- A conversation starter and basic script you can use to introduce this concept to your young child. 

- How these dynamics can change depending on if it’s the second, third, or fourth baby you’re welcoming.

- The types of topics you want to try to cover (and which ones to try to avoid) when you first tell your child you are pregnant.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about going from one to two with Lindsay Ellingson

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about pregnancy, postpartum, and early parenthood with Dr. Jessica Vernon

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do during pregnancy to make you less vulnerable to postpartum anxiety

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about movement during pregnancy and beyond with Dr. Megan Roche

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

3:38 - What is serve and return and how does it impact our baby's brain development?

6:02 - The human brain is hardwired to have dynamic interpersonal exchanges.

8:19 - It's not about the "stuff" it's about the relationships.

8:27 - Why "safety" is the first step for allowing your child to explore their world, develop cognitively, and shapes the structures of the brain.

12:31 - Are enrichment classes beneficial for brain development?

18:02 - What are the many possible functions of these enrichment classes?

20:54 - Giving kids the opportunity to solve problems in daily life is incredibly valuable - and free!

✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨

When a child is born, so too is a mother.

In this episode, we'll explore this metamorphosis and how the abrupt shift into motherhood can shatter our former identity into many different parts (and why that doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad thing).

Joining me is Rebecca Geshuri and Jessica Sorci, the brilliant creators behind The Mothercentric Approach, which blends Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy with maternal mental health.

Rebecca and Jessica will help listeners understand IFS and how "parts work" can be vital for mothers. By acknowledging and accepting these different parts, mothers can begin to heal and integrate them, forming a more cohesive and balanced sense of self. This integration can shift how we feel about ourselves and how we show up as parents, leading to a more compassionate and effective approach to motherhood.

LEARN MORE ABOUT THE MOTHERCENTRIC APPROACH - FOR MOMS:

https://www.mothercentric.com/for-moms

LEARN MORE ABOUT THE MOTHERCENTRIC APPROACH - FOR PRACTITIONERS:

https://www.mothercentric.com/for-practitioners

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...

- Even if we aren’t adding more pressure onto our kids, the world often pushes external achievements on them - how can parents push back against this?

- Why trying to problem-solve with your child may seem like it’s supporting them, but could actually be perpetuating their anxiety.

- The one pillar you can use as a parent to guide all your interactions with your child that can help to defuse the pressure they feel, rather than inadvertently adding to it.

- Saying grades don’t matter is like saying, “throw your sense of control out the window.” What to say instead.

- Our society glorifies perfectionism, but in reality, kids who engage in highly perfectionist tendencies tend to have higher anxiety and internalize their stress, which can lead to missed signs that they need support. What are the signs they are crossing a concerning threshold of perfectionism?

- We describe a helpful thought exercise you can try with your child today.

WANT ADDITIONAL SUPPORT?

👉🏻 Click here to lean more about support options at Upshur Bren Psychology Group and to schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the hidden dangers of an achievement centric approach with Jennifer Breheny Wallace

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about learning style myths with Dr. Dan Willingham

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping your child cope with anxiety with Dr. Terri Bacow

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

2:55 - Raising our own tolerance to the discomfort of our partner being "less effective" than we know we could be with our children.

5:55 - Ask yourself: "What if I am actually NOT the only expert on my child and what my partner is giving her is actually what she needs."

6:47 - Can you physically remove yourself (just in the short term) to allow your partner and child to adjust without you becoming triggered?

9:52 - What is the threshold for when you do want to step in and "rescue"?

12:24 - When we always rescue, we may inadvertently communicate to our child (and our partner!) that they aren't capable of parenting properly.

✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

3:18 - Having a big imagination is a form of cognitive play for child and a very healthy way for them to make sense of their world.

6:32 - How can parents respond and engage with your child when their fantasies are aggressive.

9:47 - After the "toddler fantasy" stage parents often see a "preschool denial of behavior" phase come next.

12:50 - How to give your kids the emotional space to own their actions and start to understand the impact of how their behaviors impacts others.

18:16 - If we have a big reaction to our child's lying when they are using it as a defense mechanism, we're actually likely to see more lying in the future.

21:43 - Shifting our perception of our kid's lying as a manipulative behavior with the intention of deceiving us to instead be that they are using it to protect themselves from the overwhelming feelings of fear, shame, or guilt.

✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨

As parents, we often strive to encourage a strong foundational relationship between our child and music. Whether placing headphones on your pregnant belly, attending music class with your toddler, or getting Baby Shark stuck in your head after playing it on repeat - we want to encourage their love of music, while also allowing it to be child lead.

Joining me today is musician and father of 3, Mark Joseph. Mark and I will discuss the ways we can authentically create opportunities for music in our homes and how to allow our child’s intrinsic motivations to drive the relationship. Mark also shares his own personal experience of finding resilience, self-actualization, and never losing his love of music.

I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!

✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren

✨ Send an email to info@drsarahbren.com

✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources 

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

2:07 - Does playing with Barbies cause children to have an unrealistic body image?

8:01 - Do millennials carry a stigma around Barbies that is not accurate to the way they are being portrayed now?

8:58 - Is it beneficial to ban any toys, or is it better to use these toys as a conversation starter?

10:45 - How can you initiate a conversation with your child that can negate some of the negative effects of playing with thin dolls, unrealistic ideas of gender norms, and stereotypes.

18:40 - What other factors regarding self-esteem and body image are more important for parents to keep in mind rather than if they should or shouldn't let their child play with Barbies.

✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

2:37 - What is a "spicy" kid and how is that a more positive term than "sensitive" or "highly emotional"?

4:05 - What is the difference between continuum and categorical and how does this apply to these highly reactive kids.

4:54 - Helping kids who easily go to feelings of shame while setting limits.

8:32 - Teaching our children the difference between shame and guilt and how this can be a beneficial parenting tool to use with the children that quickly go to a place of shame.

12:08 - Create opportunities for your child to feel a sense of mastery, in control, self-confident, and proud by inviting them to participate in tasks you know they can excel at.

19:31 - Try using the terms "safe" or "unsafe" rather than "good/bad" or "mean/nice" when describing your child's behaviors.

✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨

Unlock the transformative power of understanding and connecting with your child's ADHD brain - rather than fighting against it!

Joining me is the founder of Russell Coaching for Students and the author of Asking the Right Questions Before, During, and After Your Child’s ADHD Diagnosis, Dr. Norrine Russell.

If you have a child with ADHD, you won't want to miss this episode where we're sharing personal insights, evidence-based techniques, and empowering strategies to guide parents on a journey towards fostering empathy, embracing your child's strengths, and helping them reach their full potential.

PRODUCTS FOR ADDITIONAL SUPPORT THAT I LOVE:

If your child (or you!) has ADHD, you're going to love all the products from BestSelf as much as I do! CLICK HERE and use code DRSARAHBREN15 to save 15% off your entire purchase!

Discover how being self-aware and intentional in your actions can shape your children's emotional resilience!

Joining me today is licensed clinical social worker and the author of 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do, Amy Morin.

In this episode, Amy and I are shedding light on how parents, couples, and friends can harness this empowering mindset. From fostering curiosity and confidence to navigating complex emotions like guilt and values like honesty and kindness, we're providing you with practical tools for strengthening your own mental wellness and raising mentally resilient kids, too.

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...

- How there is a lot of weight put on attending all the birthdays your child gets invited to, and hear us share a permission-granting reframe you can tell yourself when you feel that pressure.

- How to work toward identifying the aspect of birthday parties that are overwhelming for your child - and what the most common triggers are (like transitions, loud sounds, lots of kids) to help you get started.

- Why it actually makes sense that this is so hard for parents when kids struggle with birthday parties. What social stakes are at play, and how to balance those with what is best for your kid.

- How to celebrate the birthday boy or girl in a manner that is more realistic for your child, but that allows them to still feel included and fosters their peer relationships.

- What you can do before the birthday party to help prepare your child for what they can expect and how to navigate their dysregulation if they get overwhelmed once you're there.

- Two psychologist-mom's recommendations of exactly how to respond (when to nurture them and when to push them) when your child gets clingy at a birthday party.

WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT SIMILAR TOPICS:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about understanding your child's sensory sensitivities with Alyssa Blask Campbell

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping your child form strong friendship bonds with Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what you can do when your child experiences peer rejection in elementary school

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!