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Date
Titre
Durée
22 May 2023
1: To Heal the Sorrows of Life
00:04:06
"Donors, grantees, and beneficiaries need each other to bring something beautiful and life-giving to fruition. It is a collaboration borne of deep desire to find meaning, to be a blessing, to be part of something successful and consequential, and to heal the sorrows of life....”
The quote begins. “What we realized was that we were unwittingly viewing donors as objects to try to get as much money from as quickly and painlessly as possible, rather than as subjects in their own right. Donor prospects are not objects; they are subjects, and like all of us, they want to contribute to something meaningful and life-giving and successful. Like us, they too search for meaning, have fears and hopes, desires and regrets, and beliefs that should be acknowledged and reverenced.”
“When we enter into sacred discussion with donors or grantees or beneficiaries of a ministry, vulnerability is established. Donors, grantees, and beneficiaries need each other to bring something beautiful and life-giving to fruition. It is a collaboration borne of deep desire to find meaning, to be a blessing, to be part of something successful and consequential, and to heal the sorrows of life.”
End quote.
Let’s reflect on these questions this week:
In thinking about those who support our missions, especially those areas that deal with human tragedies, How are we helping to heal the sorrows of life for, through, and with our donors?
How do we give space for donors to redeem their tragedies through generosity?
"... donors see the potentially world-changing and life-giving power that may be present in or working through the goodness of the donors' hearts and souls; if only someone would acknowledge it, call it forth, and nurture it!...”
While we never want our clients to feel as if they owe the nonprofit for the services they receive, how are we giving our clients and, especially former clients, the opportunity to be generous?
"They would all therefore find themselves helpless if they did not learn to help each other voluntarily. With associations, feelings and ideas are renewed, the heart enlarged, and the understanding developed only by the reciprocal action of people one upon another...."
Note: his use of the word association is our current word for nonprofit.
Reflection questions:
How are we sharing the vision of the causes we serve? In sharing our visions, are we welcoming our communities to unite with us and have their hearts enlarged?
How are we showing donors the collective impact we have together by combining our efforts?
"Helping a person in need is good in itself. But the degree of goodness is hugely affected by the attitude with which it is done...."
This week, I’m reading a quote from John Chrysostom from the 400 A.D.s.
Reflection questions:
When was there a time when you were overwhelmed with the generosity of others because their generosity to you was given with such a spirit of joy that you received the generosity with pleasure?
Is there an area of your fundraising work that you would like to bring in that same spirit of joy? How will you do so this week?
"O let us live in joy, although having nothing! In joy let us live like spirits of light!..,"
This week, I’m reading a quote from the Dhammapada, written down in the 1st century BC.
Reflection questions:
When was the last time you stepped back to view the greater horizon of the mission you serve? Is it time to step back again and live in the love, health, peace, and joy to see what you get to fundraise for?
Think now of donors, who are the donors that you can share that joy of living in the greater horizon of the mission? Not to cultivate, ask, or steward, but to simply have a conversation of joy with them. Who are the donors coming to mind now?
"An association is an educated and powerful body of citizens which cannot be twisted to any person's will or quietly trodden down, and by defending its private interests against the encroachments of power, it saves the common liberties....."
Note: his use of the word association is our current word for nonprofit.
Reflection questions:
Many individuals with the means to donate experience giving as a transaction. How will you bring the mindset that you are giving back to the donor the tremendous value of the knowledge of the common good your mission to bringing to the community?
How will you consider the ways in which generosity to the cause you serve promotes democracy and saves common liberties?
"Books which it would have been impossible for me to obtain elsewhere were, by his wise generosity, placed within my reach; and to him I owe a taste for literature which I would not exchange for all the millions that were ever amassed by man..."
"...the testimony of those who have shifted in their minds, spirits, and emotions from an imagined world of scarcity and insecurity to one of abundance, blessing, sufficiency, and overflow is almost always the same: it is liberating...."
"Giving brings happiness in every state of its expression..." This week, I’m reading 3 quotes from the Buddha.
Reflection questions:
If you have a task of asking a donor for a gift this week, what is your mindset going into the ask? A necessary task? Or, a joyous opportunity for the donor to join in the power of giving?
If you have a task of stewarding a donor this week, what is your mindset? Is something to get off of your to-do list? Or, do you see the task as planting a seed filled with joy for the donor to consider a life of service and compassion?
"...actually living generously results from an existential confrontation with what is ultimately humanly valuable and important in life and the world."
How are we giving space and the opportunities for the donor to reflect and discuss what is humanly valuable and important to life and the world as it relates to the cause we are asking them to join?
"...the paradox of generosity also seems to entail this relevant truth: generosity cannot be faked in order to achieve some other, more valued, self-serving end. Generosity itself needs to be desired..."
Are any of our fundraising activities and messaging encouraging self-interested, fake generosity? If so, how can we tweak them to reflect authentic generosity?
How can we share the stories of genuine generosity with our community?
".... Help your brother’s boat across and your own boat will reach the shore..."
This week, I’m reading a quotes from three different cultures to help us reflect on our mentality of scarcity.
Reflection questions:
What ways can you cultivate joy for other nonprofits when they receive generous donations?
When you know that a potential donor has a passion for a different cause, how will you encourage them to be generous to that different cause? To bless them and release them to be generous to a different organization?
"...When we don’t give the opportunity - especially to someone who is new to the journey of generosity, we encouraging the donor to throw a stone in the hole and cover it up. Whereas, instead, we could let the donor make use of the treasure for good in our communities..."
This week, I’m reading a story from Aesop’s Fable, titled the Miser.
Reflection Question:
Do you struggle with the fear of offending someone as it relates to fundraising? What would it take to shift to a mindset of letting the donor give their treasure for good?
"This disposition to admire, and almost to worship, the rich and the powerful, and to despise, or, at least, to neglect persons of poor and mean condition... is... the great and most universal cause of the corruption of our moral sentiments. That wealth and greatness are often regarded with the respect and admiration which are due only to wisdom and virtue; and that the contempt, of which vice and folly are the only proper objects, is often most unjustly bestowed upon poverty and weakness, has been the complaint of moralists in all ages..." This week, I’m reading a quote from The Theory of Moral Sentiments by Adam Smith. Published in 1759.
Reflection question:
How are you reminding yourself, as you lift up the neglected and the vulnerable, that you are taking the road of character of wisdom, virtue, and justice?
"Living generously. . . also often provides new learning experiences and exposure to sides of life and society that would have otherwise remained unknown."
"... Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success..."
This week, I am reading quotes from Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu from his various works.
Reflection questions:
Are you watering your fund development goals with worry and desperation? Or, are you watering them with kindness and optimism?
How are you embracing the saying, “do your work, and then step back. The only path to serenity”?
"...There is no mode of disposing of surplus wealth creditable to thoughtful and earnest men [and women] into whose hands it flows save by using it year by year for the general good..."
"... And joy is the appropriate attitude with which to help others because acts of generosity are a source of blessing to the giver as well as the receiver..."
This week, I’m reading a quote from John Chrysostom from the 400 A.D.s.
Reflection questions:
When was there a time when you were overwhelmed with the generosity of others because their generosity to you was given with such a spirit of joy that you received the generosity with pleasure?
Is there an area of your fundraising work that you would like to bring in that same spirit of joy? How will you do so this week?
How are we continuing to give opportunities for donors to be generous to the mission we serve as they are also giving to others because of world events?
"When conventional economic and marketing assumptions shape and undergird the work of charitable fundraising, whether for Christian organizations or others, potential donors will often be approached with the expectation that they will be more interested in having their names in the program or on a plaque or in receiving a premium or a tax break than in giving to help others 'out of the goodness of their hearts.'"
Is there a donor to whom you have tried to offer an exchange of a tangible items and they seemed not to want it? How can you shift to a mindset of relationship in your conversations with that donor?
How are you nurturing relationships with donors that are excited to see the world-changing and life-giving power of their donations?
Consider the volunteers you interact with, how are you going beyond thanking them for their time and instead honoring the gift of their own self?
How are we restoring them to themselves; that is, sharing with them the greater impact the gift of their time and person has in the mission together we serve?
"...the moral challenge of generosity can also push people to confront and overcome their emotional, existential fears about insufficiency, their psychological perceptions of scarcity as a mode of life that governs their world..."
If you work in an organization with a culture of insecurity and scarcity, what are ways you fortify a culture of abundance in yourself and that which you have direct control over?
If one of your community partners is stuck in a culture of insecurity and scarcity, how can you create boundaries so that culture doesn’t permeate the culture of the nonprofit you serve? And, how can you model the culture of abundance in your organization to your community?
"... just as those tools which are kept in use, and are daily touched by the hand, are never in danger of growing rusty, while those which are not brought before our eyes, and lie as if superfluous, not being required for common use, collect dirt by the mere lapse of time..."
"...our first moral criticisms are exercised upon the characters and conduct of other people; and we are all very forward to observe how each of these affects us..."
"...One would give generous alms if you had the eyes to see the beauty of a cupped receiving hand..." This week, I am reading various quotes from the writings of Goethe who lived in present-day Germany from 1749 to 1832.
Reflection questions:
What are you carrying in your heart this week: generosity, abundance, or scarcity?
When will you take time this week to jot down a reflection on the beauty of the mission you serve?
As you know, this podcast focuses on the beautiful spaces of generosity. I will be taking a break until January 5. Instead of reading a quote this week, I encourage you to explore the roots of generosity within your own holiday traditions. As I reflect on St. Nicholas Day, Hanukkah, Christmas, Christkind, Kwanzaa, Three Kings Day and so many of the other holidays, I am struck by the universal elements of generosity and relationships. Yet, we can get so busy in planning for these holidays that we miss the simple truths that generosity brings to each of these holidays. So, let’s reflect on one question until January 5:
In the midst of the busyness, how will you be generous to yourself so that you can give out of the cup of generosity to others?
"...Remove gift and gratitude from human society, and what remains is not a community but a "lonely crowd," in the famous words of the sociologist David Riesman..."
Have you ever considered if some of the donors to your missions are giving because of that idea of community and dependency? Seeking to acknowledge that we are interdependent on each other?
What risks will you take this week in building relationships with donors?
"...I would say that other‐preservation is the first law of life. It is the first law of life precisely because we cannot preserve self without being concerned about preserving other selves..."
In honor of the Reverend Martin Luther King Junior Day in the United States, I thought I would share two related quotes from him. Both of these quotes come from the time of his launch of the Poor People’s Campaign.
Reflection questions:
How will you invite someone in your community to join you in this other-concern work?
If you have had a hard week in your work, what do you most need to recharge? Time with the clients you serve to see the difference you are making? Time with a donor to hear why they support the cause? Or time away with your community? Take the time.
"...Those who hoard their gifts, living with clenched fists, suffer the sadness of a pinched soul and a miserly existence. They never experience the extravagant blessings that come to those who live with open hands and giving hearts...
"...See first that you yourself deserve to be a giver, and an instrument of giving. For in truth it is life that gives unto life—while you, who deem yourself a giver, are but a witness...."
"...May I be a guard for those who have no protector, A guide for those who journey on the road. For those who wish to go across the water, May I be a boat, a raft, a bridge..."
This week, I am reading a reflection from Shantideva from the 8th century AD. Reflection Questions:
Which metaphor most resonates with your work?
Consider asking a donor which metaphor resonates with them about your work.
"Donors, grantees, and beneficiaries need each other to bring something beautiful and life-giving to fruition. It is a collaboration borne of deep desire to find meaning, to be a blessing, to be part of something successful and consequential, and to heal the sorrows of life....”
In thinking about those who support our missions, especially those areas that deal with human tragedies, How are we helping to heal the sorrows of life for, through, and with our donors?
How do we give space for donors to redeem their tragedies through generosity?
"...Both generous and ungenerous people live lives that are less than ideal. But the generous possess an insight usually missing among the less generous. They know that they already have enough, and that clinging to what they have or clamoring for more will not bring about greater happiness. So they share some of their time, money, and care with others. They tend to see the beauty of life, the value of solidarity, and their connection to humanity. Their perspective tells them that the world, properly viewed, is a place of abundance. They take their hardships in stride, believing that life is good and still worth living, beautiful, and meaningful. Their problems in life do not set the dominant tone of life."
"...Those of us who ask for money need to look carefully at ourselves. The question is not how to get money. Rather, the question is about our relationship with money. We will never be able to ask for money if we do not know how we ourselves relate to money...."
"...The waves beside them danced; but they [daffodils] Out-did the sparkling waves in glee: A poet could not but be gay, In such a jocund company: I gazed—and gazed—but little thought What wealth the show to me had brought:..."
"....Once we have learned to love the rich for who they are rather than what they have; and once we believe that we have something of great value to give them, then we will have no trouble at all in asking someone for a large sum of money...."
When I meet a donor at their home, am I jealous or envious? Or, am I grateful for their generosity?
Also related to this week’s quote, do I assume the worst about a donor and their wealth? Or, am I grateful that they have been blessed with the opportunity to give?
"...Though they have been going through much trouble and hard times, they have mixed their wonderful joy with their deep poverty, and the result has been an overflow of giving to others..."
This week, I’m reading from 2 Corinthians by Saint Paul.
Reflection questions:
Is there a volunteer or Board member you have deemed too poor to give the opportunity to donate?
How can you empower all people - regardless of their economic situation - to give joyfully?
"...Guilt appeals in the field of persuasion are quite common. However, the effectiveness of these messages is sometimes ambivalent. It is widely acknowledged that guilt leads people to engage into prosocial behaviors, but the effects of guilt can also be counter-productive...."
"...[Generosity] removes a weight, a burden, a nagging fear. It sets one free to appreciate and enjoy what one has, rather than being burdened with the wish that one had more or worry about losing it. This kind of personal transformation shores up the personal security grounded in believing that, whatever the future holds, one will always have enough....."
The Drafter of Many Appeals ends the article with ... "But the fact is that motives of pure reason to explain voluntary action are usually difficult of discovery, and not in charitable spheres only..."
When will you take the time to find the humor in our fundraising work through a Google search of humorous videos or cartoons focused on fundraising or, perhaps, have conversation with a colleague about their funniest moments in this profession?
"...Kind hearts are the gardens, Kind thoughts are the roots, Kind words are the flowers, Kind deeds are the fruits...."
This week, I’m reading a quote, often attributed to Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, published in 1873.
Reflection questions:
In our fundraising materials, are we guard them from weeds of hatred and strife?
Related, do we seek to fill the metaphorical garden of donors with sweet sunshine and blossoms of good words and kind deeds that reflect the work we are doing?
"...On the psychological level, precommitment could induce a preference for avoiding inconsistency, leading people to act in line with their past or committed behaviour. Our study provides behavioural and neural evidence that supports the link between generosity and happiness..."
"...pride is to be feared even when we do right actions, lest those things which are done in a praiseworthy manner be spoiled by the desire for praise itself."
I sought wisdom from Augustine. First, from Augustine’s book, On the Happy Life, published in 386 AD. And, then from his letter 118, written in 410 AD.
Reflection questions:
How often are we confronted with the mountain of pride in how we carry out your fund development work?
"...Suppose someone standing by a clear, sweet spring were to curse it: it just keeps right on bringing drinkable water bubbling up to the surface. Even if he throws mud or dung in it, before long the spring disperses the dirt and washes it out, leaving no stain..."
Is there a new fund development professional in your network that you can reach out to in order to encourage?
Or, do you feel like you are drowning a bit and need a lift from a colleague who is a bit wiser in the field? Can you take a moment now and reach out by text or email?
"No one can have a happy life if he looks only to himself, turning everything to his own advantage. If you want to live for yourself, you must live for another..."
"...many of our disappointments and much of our happiness arise from our forming false notions of things and persons. We strangely impose upon ourselves; we create a fairy land of happiness..."
"...Ninthly, that meekness is invincible, where it is genuine, and sincere without hypocrisy. For, what can the most insolent do to you, if you stedfastly persist in kindness to him, and, upon occasion, mildly admonish and instruct him thus, at the very time he is attempting to do you an injury?.."
"...You have heard people say, “Love your neighbors and hate your enemies.” But I tell you to love your enemies and pray for anyone who mistreats you..."
This week, I am reading the words of Jesus and His approach to opponents from Matthew 5 and 6.
Reflection questions:
If you were to give your fundraising appeal to an opponent to read, how would they respond? Would the letter be consider fair? Considerate? Even loving?
When you are speaking with a donor about an opponent of your mission, are you portraying the opponent in the best possible light even if you are outlining policy or tactical disagreements?
Will you choose a cause other than your own where you can meet with their staff or volunteers to listen with imagination and have your horizons expanded?
Will you intentionally reach out to an organization that you wouldn’t typically support in order to be exposed to a different community of people?
"...real generosity requires requires learning something different, something that may not feel natural for many people. It often requires real personal change. A better understanding of how generosity works can aid that learning and change..."
"...Acknowledging that one does not know is a humble kind of ignorance, one that is, in fact, filled often with the joy of discovery and wonder at what is discovered..."
Are we building structures and processes in our work that demand certainty or are we building those structures and processes to encourage discovery and wonder?
Are we willing to be honest and humble with donors when we need to make a course correction?
Reflection on the Quote
Earlier this week, I was coaching a client through the process of asking for a corporate sponsorship. She knew that this was an area that she knew little about, but instead of being defensive, she embraced this ignorance with openness and curiosity. It stuck me. How am I approaching my ignorance whether it’s about a donor or a fundraising technique or a trend in the field.
This also applies to generosity. We can approach donor relationships with certainty, with standard practices, and yet we may never find out the true reason a donor is giving to our organizations. In the face of our certainty, the donor may feel foolish to ask questions or be open with us. Or, we can approach donor relationships with this humble ignorance. We can build the relationship on a foundation of discovery, wonder, and openness. We can marvel at unexpected gifts. We can make course corrections and be honest with donors.
"...The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause..."
This week, I’m reading from Citizenship in a Republic, a speech given by Theodore Roosevelt in 1910.
Reflection question:
How will you let the dust, sweat, and blood from last week go and look forward to daring greatly this week?
Reflection on Quote:
Earlier this week, I attended the grand opening of our local library. The capital campaign had been delayed and had faced many obstacles and criticisms. Despite of all this, the volunteer members of the fundraising committee persisted. And, the joy at the grand opening was contagious all because these volunteers decided to keep going.
Too often we are distracted by obstacles and criticisms. Our work is hard, dust, sweat and blood. We make errs and we will come short at times. But, we are spending ourselves for a worthy cause and we are daring greatly. And, when we persist in our work, we like the volunteers on the fundraising committee have ability to bring joy to those in our communities.
"...Consistent with social learning theory, individuals tend to carry beliefs about money and money skills learned in childhood into their adult lives..."
This week, I’m reading selected quotes from Money Beliefs and Financial Behaviors by Bradley Klontz, Sonya Britt, and Jennifer Mentzer, published in 2011.
Reflection Questions:
Have you spent time thinking about your childhood and the beliefs around money you were raised with?
Which money script have you been operating in and how might you break those patterns?
Reflection on Quote:
Earlier this week, I was talking with a person with new fund development responsibilities. She talked about her fears with asking for money. Like almost everyone I’ve met in the field, her fears were directly related to her childhood. It’s a reminder that often we have to unpack our own beliefs around money before we can discuss generosity with our donors.
As I read this research, I immediately recognized correlations to fundraising. Those with money avoidance scripts can struggle to ask for donations. Those with money worship scripts tend to engage in magical thinking around one major donation. Those with money status scripts can find crossing wealth classes intimidating when building a relationship with a more wealthy donor. Those with money vigilance scripts may find fundraising work too all-consuming in their lives. And, there are more correlations that you may have immediately thought of as well. The good news is that, in my experience, once a fund development professional recognizes their own money scripts, they are able to move past them and develop new patterns in discussing generosity.
"...Do your work, then step back. The only path to serenity..."
This week, I am reading quotes from Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu from his various works.
Reflection questions:
Are you watering your fundraising appeals with worry and desperation? Or, are you watering them with kindness and optimism?
During a busy fundraising season, how are you embracing the saying, “do your work, and then step back. The only path to serenity”?
Reflection on Quote:
In the United States, we have trained our donors to give between November and December, which means that a prepared fund development professional has already finished their year end letter. Or maybe not. Yes, when we enter a busy season of fundraising, it can be very stressful and that stress can leak out into the appeals we send.
How we write our appeals to donors does affect the outcome. We can approach the writing with worry, fear, desperation. And, our appeals will reflect that fear and worry. And, our donors will react - some by giving out of fear, but others will choose not to give at all. Or, we can approach the writing with confidence, kindness, optimism, and solutions. And, our appeals will reflect that kindness and optimism. These appeals attract donors because they give donors a greater vision of what they can accomplish by joining with the mission and constituents we serve.
What is your personality like: do you prefer the new and novel or the familiar and dependable?
What do you think your donor base needs right now? And, based on what you know about your personality, are you willing to step outside your comfort zone to adapt to your donors’ needs?
Reflection on Quote:
In my work reviewing materials from fund development professionals, I often see two ends of the spectrum. Either the work is completely new - every story, every word, every way to invite the donor to join in the mission is new. On the other end the work is recycled year after year - the same story, the same words, the same call to action. Honestly, there are times where either one of those is appropriate - the new and the novel or the recycled and the dependable.
We are, our donors are, naturally curious. We want to know the new, novel information, novel stories about the work we are supporting. For this reason, we start with blank screens to write fundraising letters, we brainstorm new events, and we gather new stories from our constituents. Yet, as Burke states, curiosity and novelty doesn’t bind us or our donors to a mission. For that reason, we also need to remind ourselves and our donors of the familiar stories. This is why the same fundraising event can be hosted for decades and still be raising more funds each year. It’s why the same fundraising letter can continue to be successful. And, it’s why we can tell and retell our origin stories so effectively. It’s a balance between the novel and the dependable. As professionals, we have to be adaptable to our donors between those two ends of the spectrum - blending curiosity with the familiar.
"...To think and to will without doing, when there is opportunity, is like a flame enclosed in a vessel and goes out; also like seed cast upon the sand, which fails to grow, and so perishes with its power of germination. But to think and will and from that to do is like a flame that gives heat and light all around, or like a seed in the ground that grows up into a tree or flower and continues to live..."
This week, I’m reading a quote that sums up Johnny Appleseed’s beliefs from Heaven and Hell by Emmanuel Swedenborg, published in 1758.
Reflection questions:
How many of your fundraising goals are outcome goals and how many are process goals?
How would your conversations with donors be different if you focused on process goals?
Reflection on quote:
Earlier this week, I read an article about goals and whether to envision the process to reach the outcome or the outcome. The article referenced the life and work of John Chapman; otherwise known as Johnny Appleseed. Like many, I pictured Johnny Appleseed as wandering aimlessly around the countryside, randomly sprinkling seeds that grew into trees and, against all odds, orchards. But that wasn’t the case at all. Instead, Johnny Appleseed, following his religious beliefs, knew the outcome he wanted; more apple trees for cider as an alternative to unsafe drinking water but then planned the process in which he met his goal. This came directly from his belief that our goals can’t be reached unless we act concretely upon them.
As I read this quote and the article, I thought of our fundraising goals and our conversations with donors. We can set goals based on the outcome; that is, x number of dollars raised. Or, we can set goals based on the process of reaching the outcome; that is, x number of phone calls and meetings or x number of opportunities presented for donors to give. As the article and quote alluded to, we are more likely to reach the outcome goal if we envision the process to reach the outcome and create goals around that process. More importantly, by creating process goals, when we meet with donors, the conversation is undergirded less by the outcome and instead on the process of giving donors an opportunity to be generous.
"...Life is so generous a giver, but we, judging its gifts by the covering, Cast them away as ugly, or heavy, or hard. Remove the covering and you will find beneath it a living splendor, Woven of love, by wisdom, with power..."
This week, I’m reading a poem written by Greville MacDonald to his father George MacDonald in 1930.
Reflection question:
When will you take time to pause, wait, and look deeper to glimpse joy, beauty, and living splendor?
Reflection on quote:
In our work, it is easy to become overcome by the immediate needs we face. Unlike for-profit organizations, our goal is to put ourselves out of business by tackling challenges outlined in our mission and vision. Because of this, the immediate needs can lead to burnout and stress. But, if we pause, we can glimpse something else.
Yes, our days are often full of trial, sorrow or duty. Yet, though our work we bring life, meaning, and purpose. And, within that, we can glimpse joy, beauty, and living splendor. As MacDonald writes, could we but see. That seeing takes time. Time for us to pause and waiting and look deeper beneath the covering and the shadows.
..."And then with a cry from his soul despairing,He bowed him down to the earth and wept.But a voice cried aloud from the driving rain;“Arise, old man, and plant again!”
This week, I’m reading a poem, Disappointed, written by Paul Laurence Dunbar, published in 1913.
Reflection question:
Is there an area of your work where you have been disappointment and you need to stop and weep before moving forward?
Reflection on the quote:
This week, something sad happened with a nonprofit in my community. Often, I focus on the positive side of generosity. Yet, with generosity, sometimes there is a pain. It’s a pain that comes from striving for good and giving generously and yet seeing our work swept away.
When we face times of disappointment, it is easy to respond in two ways. To give up and walk away from our work. We may walk away physically, leaving our job or volunteer position. Or, we walk away emotionally, no longer truly engaged in our work. The other way we can respond is to push through and act as though the disappointment didn’t happen. Unfortunately, disappointments build up and we can’t keep pushing without burning out. This poem gives a third way. Acknowledge the disappointment and pain. And then allow your soul to despair and weep. But, then have hope and arise again to your work.
When you have failed in your work recently, how are observing narrowly for the right things that came out of it?
Are you seeking perfection or goodness in your fundraising activities?
Reflection on the quote:
In working with over 100 clients, it’s not surprising that I’m well-acquainted with failure as well. A donor event that no one shows up to. An email campaign that raises zero dollars. A year-end direct mail campaign that goes out in January. A fundraising event where no one gives. As much as I want every campaign, event, fundraising activity to be successful, that’s not real life. So how do we grapple with that. This week, I am reading a quote from Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, written around 171 AD.
All that happens, happens right. Notice that Aurelius did nt say, all that happens, happens perfectly. Or, successfully. But, he says “right if you observe narrowly.” We can get stuck in embarrassment or paralysis. We can fear that donors will stop giving to us because of our failure. Instead, a failure can help us have more honest interactions with donors. For instance, ask the donor help us understand the best way to give you the opportunity to donate. Or, a failure can lead to the right conversations with the right donors. For example, a smaller-than-hoped-for event can open up a more in-depth conversation that wouldn’t have been possible if the event was larger. Failures can lead to growth when we have the right attitude, which is the second half of the quote. Let your aim be goodness in every action. We don’t fail in fundraising because we want to fail. But we will fail because failure is a part of life. So, we don’t aim for perfection or status. We aim for goodness. Goodness for the cause that we serve. And, remember, donors don’t give to us. They give to the cause through us.
“It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all - in which case, you fail by default.” JK Rowling
This week, I’m reading various quotes to reflect on how generosity covers our failures.
Reflection question:
Are we letting failure harden or shame us? Or, are we letting generosity cover our failures with the desire to keep trying?
Reflection on Quotes:
Last week, I talked about failure and how to view failure. All this week, I’ve been thinking about how donors view our failures. Although we can Google a bunch of quotes about people not wanting others to be successful or root for our failures, that is not how donors view failures in our nonprofit work. Instead, because donors are investing in our work, they are cheering us on to move passed our failures.
When donors see that we are seeking to succeed in our work, they will see failures as a learning process to better serve our missions in the future. What we do next matters. It’s easy to be ashamed or to let the failure harden us into never wanting to make a mistake again. Especially when we respect the sacrificial giving leads some donors to give to our organizations.
However, our donors have not called us to live cautiously, to feed half a child or protect half the land or play half the music. No, their gifts cover our failures with a desire for us to keep trying, or as Brené Brown states, to keep daring greatly.
"...the potentially world-changing and life-giving power that may be present in or working through the goodness of the donors' hearts and souls; if only someone would acknowledge it, call it forth, and nurture it!"
Where are there areas that we are failing to recognize the world-changing and life-giving power that resides the donors’ hearts and souls?
How are you giving space for donors to share their desire to be world changing and life giving?
Reflection on quote:
As we prepare for year-end giving or any fundraising campaign, how we message matters. Are we selling a transaction or inviting generosity?
This quote reminds me of a conservation nonprofit client and their experience with a donation. The donor planned to give appreciated stock for their donation. When the donor was told how to avoid capital gains tax, they refused and instead insisted on selling the stocks, paying the capital gains tax, and donating the proceeds. This donor cared more about the world-changing and life-giving power that was present in or working through the goodness of his heart and soul than the tax break. When we consider our fundraising messages in our fundraising materials, we should avoid focusing on the tax deductions and other transactional benefits and instead we invite and nurture the generosity of donors who want to be a part of our missions.
..."An association [nonprofit] is an educated and powerful body of citizens which cannot be twisted to any person's will or quietly trodden down,..."
This week, I’m reading selected quotes from Democracy in America by Alexis De Tocqueville, published in 1835. Note. His use of the word association is our current word for nonprofit.
Reflection questions:
Are you getting caught up how national events affect the nonprofit you serve? Will you instead reflect on ways your nonprofit is improving your community through the power of association and democracy?
How are you giving opportunities for donors to see that they are a part of that powerful body of citizens that work together to save common liberties?
Reflection on quote:
In the United States, we are in the middle of election season. As nonprofit leaders, we can wonder and even worry about the effect the election will have on the missions we serve. However, instead of getting caught up in that worry, we can look to the role of nonprofits in democracies and how generosity promotes democracy.
Let’s consider these ideas that, according de Tocqueville, nonprofits have a vital role in maintaining democracy. Nonprofits through our missions allow citizens to act together to alleviate the challenges we see in our community. Through the networks of nonprofits and citizens acting together, we bring arts and culture, preserve places for people to enjoy history, nature, and learning, help vulnerable individuals, families, children, and animals, protect the environment, and so much more. We defend and civilize our communities.
And, also according to his writing in 1835, generosity to nonprofits creates an educated and powerful body of citizens that saves common liberties. When donors give, they become more engaged in our missions and feel more responsible to see our missions succeed. A colleague often states that nonprofit work is the most pure form of democracy; that is, people coming together in consensus for the common good of our missions. When those with wealth, at any amount, choose not to keep their wealth and instead are generous, that wealth is combined with the knowledge of the common good of our missions and saves the common liberties to maintain civilization in our communities.
"...For with wisdom cometh patience, And with patience cometh rest..."
This week, I am reading the poem The Hardest Time of All, by Sarah Doudney. Written in 1896.
Reflection Questions:
Where are you waiting for some major change to occur as a result of your work? Is it time to gain more wisdom or to be more patient or to stop and rest in that area?
Will you take the time to document your hopes for change in the coming year and then schedule an email to send that reflection to yourself in a year as a way to see that those hardest times of waiting was when the change was actually occurring?
Reflection on the poem:
This week, I attended our statewide Association of Fundraising Professionals conference, just to sit in the audience and learn. A recurring theme was perseverance in small daily tasks that will yield fruit. Our work does take patience in order to see change. Whatever your faith tradition, let’s take a moment to reflect on wisdom, patience, and rest as it works itself out in faith.
With wisdom comes patience and patience comes rest. If we stop and reflect on the changes that have occurred in the last year, in those moments, those changes would have seemed minuscule filled with times of waiting. Yet, after a year of those tasks - making calls, sending emails, writing thank you notes - I am confident that you can look back and see major changes just as the poem - we must wait for the blossoms to fall in order to gather the fruit. And now, the hardest time of all - or should I say, the hardest time in the next few months is to continue to actively wait for breakthroughs and major changes. But, in wisdom, patience, perseverance, and rest, we see the real difference we are making.
"...A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed...."
This week, I’m reading a quote from the Jewish wisdom on generosity from Proverbs 11.
Reflection questions:
As you wait for donors to respond to a campaign, have you given to the mission you serve?
How are you leading this week in your daily life with the intention of generosity in your own life?
Reflection on Quote:
A part of any campaign is the waiting. We wait for a donor to join us in that beautiful space called generosity. In that space is both the donor and us, you and I. If we are asking donors to be generous, what should we doing?
As we wait for donors to join us in that beautiful space of generosity, our hearts must be transformed by generosity as well. As a consultant, my work has been to teach nonprofits on how to encourage generosity from their donors. Several years back, I had an epiphany. I was asking others to be generous - even sacrificially generous, yet I had never stopped to reflect on my own generosity. Now, it happened to be around tax time, so I took a look at past tax returns and those itemized charitable deductions. And, honestly, I was a bit ashamed. I myself wasn’t giving freely. I was asking others to give freely, but I was unduly withholding. From that year on, I have set a goal to give freely and there has been much joy as a result.
When we give, we are also seeding generosity in our organization’s culture and into the staff around us. We are showing our colleagues that we care about their work. That is an opportunity to refresh them. It shows confidence in the hard work of the staff and volunteers. To the frontline and back-office staff, it shows that we are grateful for the daily and sometimes mundane routines of running the office that allows our mission to happen. To the program staff, it encourages them to continue into their work. When we give, we are less worried about asking. As the quote stated, one person gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but ends up impoverished. When we give first, our fundraising campaigns become less about the ask and more about the opportunity for others to join in that beautiful space of generosity.
"...When we have decided to accept, let us accept with cheerfulness, showing pleasure, and letting the giver see it, so that he or she may at once receive some return for their goodness..."
No matter the donor or the donor’s motivation, how are you and I receiving gifts? What is the attitude of our hearts?
Reflection on Quote:
When we look back over the last few months, what has been our attitude in accepting gifts? Seneca describes a number of attitudes that can accompany the receiving of a gift from cheerfulness to offense to slavish humility. Beyond the attitudes he describes, I would add one more. Busyness. When we do not add enough margin to our days, especially during busy fundraising seasons, we can neglect saying thank you and thus give the appearance that the donations are not needed. Or, we can instead take the time and aim to accept gifts with cheerfulness.
"...When we have decided to accept, let us accept with cheerfulness, showing pleasure, and letting the giver see it, so that he or she may at once receive some return for their goodness..."
What is one thing you can do this week to let your donors know that you see their gifts and they are welcome to belong to your mission?
Reflection on Quote:
Seneca describes a number of attitudes that can accompany the receiving of a gift from cheerfulness to offense to slavish humility. He points out that when we receive gifts languidly, it leaves the giver in doubt. It also tells the donor that they are not welcome to join us in the mission; that they don’t belong. And, that is painful.
Is there a response from a donor that you need to stop giving too much weight to and instead put it in its proper place, thank the donor, and continue with your good work?
Reflection on quote:
One of my clients got the letter this week. You know the letter. You’ve sent out the year end appeal. You’ve started receiving donations in the mail. You feel very good about the generosity of the donors. Then you get the letter. It's the letter telling you that you should not wasted a stamp on an appeal letter, and that the donor wants you to remove them from the mailing list. Of course you check the database and you see that they've only given once as a very small donation. Despite all of the good work you’ve done, it's amazing how this one letter affects your day.
We don't know what is going on in the donor’s life who wrote us that letter or email. Perhaps they can only give a very small donation and they do truly feel as though you are wasting a portion of their small donation. Or perhaps they got bad news and our letter just came at the exact same time. No matter the reasoning, we have a choice in how we react. Will we give it more weight than needed, ruining our day? Will we see it as a distraction? Will we make major changes in response to a minor criticism? These are all possibilities. Or, we acknowledge the wisdom from the Meditations and we can put it in its proper place, thank the donor for their concern, and continue the work of giving opportunities for donors to give.
“Whoever practices charity and justice fills the world with loving kindness.”
This week, I’m reading quotes from Sukkah 49b about tzedakah.
Reflection questions:
How are we giving donors that vision of repairing the world through their gifts?
What are ways that we can practice tzedakah with donors? That is, practicing justice, peace, and loving kindness with donors instead of just receiving donations from donors?
Reflection on the quote:
This week, I’ve been reading about tzedakah, the Jewish tradition of charity. However, it’s meaning is so much broader than the traditional idea of giving a donation. Within its meaning are also the concepts of justice and righteous behavior. In the article I was reading, the author stated that it’s the way in which we repair world. In addition, instead of giving charity to someone - the emphasis on to someone, it must be done with someone. The emphasis is on with, meaning to come alongside, to journey with someone when giving a gift to them.
In our work, we accept tzedakah, that is, the generosity of others. And, through our work, we are partnering with these donors to repair the world and bring about justice and care for both the poor and the rich. In doing so, we are filling the world with lovingkindness, peace, and confidence that the arc of history bends towards justice as Martin Luther King Jr. stated.
"...In the same way, as you are unable to take care of all of your fellow people, treated as the luck of the draw when the time and circumstance brings some into closer contact with you than others."
This week, I’m reading a quote from De Doctrina Christiana by Augustine, published in 397 AD.
Reflection questions:
Is there an area of your work where you need to step back and apply this framework: accepting our limits, focusing on what we can do, and releasing that which we can’t do or whom we can’t help?
Related, what do you need to let go of and find freedom in that release?
Reflection on the quote:
Have you ever been overwhelmed by the sheer need of our work, and yet feel a bit crushed by limits we face in our work? While we often feel like our challenges are new, that we face problems no one else has ever encountered. But history, as they say, rhymes. The human condition, with all its complexities and contradictions, remains constant. The needs have overwhelmed those who care for over a thousand years.
When we feel that weight of the world on our shoulders, the overwhelming sense of need, the constant pull to do more, to be more, this quote gives us some practical wisdom. We first accept that our ability to help is constrained by our circumstances. We can’t do everything. We can’t solve every problem, heal every wound, or right every wrong. Second, we identify what we have, especially our time, resources, and capacity. Third, we prioritize that which we can do. We can cause change in our own local communities, focusing our efforts on those within our reach. Finally, there is freedom in seeing that sometimes it’s just the luck of the draw for whom we can help or for what we can do.
"...Therefore one should not cease from planting. Rather, just as he found, one should still continue to plant even though he is old..."
This week, I’m a story from Midrash Tanchuma Kedoshim 8:1, written sometime between 500 to 800 AD and published in 1885.
Reflection question:
How will you plant seeds for fund development programs, like legacy giving, that take longer to see the benefits?
Reflection on quote:
Recently, I have been assisting my clients with starting legacy programs; that is, encouraging long-term donors to give through their will and bequest. Some of these organizations have donor bases of older donors who have already started to think about giving a gift upon their death. Other organizations don’t have many older donors. So a question might come up, why waste precious time now to create a program without an immediate impact?
Yes, starting a legacy program may seem like a long-term endeavor with uncertain immediate rewards. However, the wisdom from this story underscores that we must begin planting the seeds of a legacy program now. By encouraging donors to consider legacy gifts, we are creating a sustainable future for ourselves. While the benefits may not be realized for years, the impact can be profound. Yet, as this story also alludes to, there may be a more immediate blessing to donors who wish to consider their legacy in the future. By considering their long-term impact, donors can find deep satisfaction in knowing that their values and passions will live on. The act of planning a legacy can be a transformative experience. It allows donors to reflect on their lives, identify why our organization is one of their most cherished causes, and consider their lasting mark in their community. This process can bring a sense of peace and purpose, knowing that their generosity will be a testament to the power of giving in their lives.
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