Professional Contestants (Zach Decker, Jared Smith, and Adam Decker)

Jared has long preached about his rule that applies not just to haunted houses, but life at large: if someone touches you, you can touch them back. However, those rules may apply more to this game show than any other we've done before. Everyone step back, becasue we're gonna punch doors, we're gonna punch actors, we might even punch a nun! Don't say we didn't warn you.

Zach hates most YouTubers, Jared will fight The Pope, and Adam truly misunderstands what a worm is.

Talking Points Include: A True Navy Seal, What Even Is a Mammal, Professor Oak Lays Eggs, Even More Apple Orchard Monster Lore, A Relic of YouTube Red, Return of Haunted House Rules, Getting Paddled, We're Gonna Wreck It

Ladies and Gentlemen, I am pleased to inform you that we have conceptualized the funniest possible video. It involves a limo driving lion and Joe Pesci with a cast on his nuts and I DARE you to find something funnier. Step aside AFV, The Contestants are coming for the funny home video throne with their reimagined take on Animal Crack-Ups.

Zach thinks mild pain is funny, Jared thinks big things are funny, and Adam thinks unexpected things are funny.

Talking Points Include: What We're Thankful For, Villain Themes, Thicke Talk, VR Chilling with The Rock, Cat Vids, A History of Nut Kickers, Whale Humor, Jurassic Park's Missed Opportunity, Limo Lion, Airplane Chicken

Crabs! Crabs! Look over here crabs! We want you to be successful when you rise from the sea to storm the Alaskan beaches, so make sure to have plenty of Auntie Anne's Pretzels and Orange Julius for fighting power! It is truly the best military secret we humans have to offer! This will teach those mean men to stop catching you for the entertainment of reality television!

Zach imagines a new Hooters for crabs, Jared lights a fire to incite a crab revolution, and Adam super doesn't want to touch a crab.

Talking Points Include: Summer Heat, Mystery Flush, Poseidon's Ocean Monopoly, Co-op Crabbing, Touching a Crab, Crab Guns, Boiling the Sea, Ocean Caste System, Ellen Page Beach, The Shopping Mall Armory

Ah, shoot. Professional assassin Scaramanga tied James Bond up to a death trap and has absolutely RUINED the communal entertainment space on his condo’s roof. The HOA warned him about this behavior, and now Scaramanga has a PERMANENT BAN from the building. He’s out of luck, but three idiots need help winning a roof-based game show: and they’re willing to cut a deal.  

Zach prank calls his dad, Jared wants to get on a super villain's good side, and Adam celebrates a Transformers/WWE crossover.

Talking Points Include: Zach’s Incredible Couch and Golf Story, How Taft Became President, The Greatest Show Men,  FEED ME GRITS, No More Jafar Jokes Allowed, The HOA Ruins Everything, Mama Mia Tailgate Party, What’s in it for Scaramanga?

For years kids have been told not to talk to strangers, but we now live in the PostYouTube Era. Kids are bolder than ever and we'd appreciate it if they would just leave us alone. So kids, PLEASE don't talk to us adults. We don't want to be a part of your schemes. Well, except for Jim Carrey of course. That dude is down for anything.

Zach relies on children for YouTube tutorials, Jared argues that attractive people can get others to do pretty much anything, and Adam is down to get slimed.

Talking Points Include: E-mail Déjà Vu, World McDonald's, YouTube Children, Inconveniencing Strangers, Hiring a Temp, Finding a Yes Man, Terrifying Kid Interactions

Ok: Jack-Ass was on the air from 2000 to 2003. Saw debuted in 2004. You can put the rest of the puzzle together. We hate to cause drama, but it’s about time someone said something. We just want to make sure Mr. Knoxville gets credit where it’s due.

Zach compliments Jack-Ass, Jared creates a better version of The Circle, and Adam points out a flaw in dunk tanks.

Talking Points: That Night In Morocco Under the Desert Moon, Let’s Say Cruella Got Her Wish, A Nice Man in the Dunk Tank, Houdini Saw’d Himself, Classic Jackass Humor, You Guys Want to DO This Thing?!

We've never really been huge fans of anime. It's just so mainstream, you know? Disney and Pixar are always winning best anime film at the Oscars every year and it all feels the same. Some of those classic characters might be worth something though, and cosplaying as everyone's favorite anime character, Tow Mater, is just what we need to gaslight a group of game show contestants and win a bunch of money.

Zach gets duped by TikTok, Jared wants a very specific birthday gift, and Adam ponders the limits of Cameo.

Talking Points Include: The Charli Drink Fiasco, Anniversary Blend Bean Stink, Jimmy Carter's Parrot, Who Is Daddy?, Redneck Dracula, Mater Suit Joyride

There are many different paths a person can take to break into the film industry. For example, you could wear a lanyard and earpiece and just try to blend in with the crew. Or if that doesn't work you could put a crew member in danger of drowning and then save them. Or if that still doesn't work, you could accuse that same crew member of extortion. It pays to have backup plans, ya know?

Zach explains the origins of motel pools, Jared gets carded for non-alcoholic beverages, and Adam gives insider deets on infiltrating film sets.

Talking Points Include: Summertime Political Platforms, Roller Coaster Public Transport, Barefoot Hotel, Evolutionary Hot Tub, McDonalds Birthday, Best Off Screen Kiss, Public Domain Plans

Wow, 200 episodes. Over 4 years. In that time we have come up with a lot of wild schemes to win game shows, and we will be the first to admit that we didn't bat 100%. But with all this experience and knowledge, can we look back and improve a few of our weaker plans? Probably not, but we are sure gonna try!

Zach fixes Oh Sit, Jared fixes Hole in the Wall, and Adam fixes Russian Roulette.

Talking Points Include: Is It Really 200, Our Humble Beginnings, Zach Might See a Ferrari, Do We Like Game Shows, Double Butt, Characters Welcome, We Get Karate Kidded, There's Many Things Wrong With The Bubblegum Plan, Our Horniest Plan, Thank You

When you have been creating game show strategies as long as we have, you begin to realize that sometimes its best to play to your strengths. But who would have thought that one of our strengths would be a deep knowledge of the powers associated with The Flash, including how to give someone those powers? As it turns out, it's quite easy to become a Flash. So easy in fact, that even the founding fathers were doing it.

Zach reasserts his love for when people fall down, Jared knows a whole lot about Flash, and Adam deosn't believe in Ben Franklin's exploits.

Talking Points Include: Yoink Me Sky Daddy, Jackass Origins, YouTube Game Show Archives, How Big is Piglett, Flowers for Flash, Ben Franklin's Delusional Schemes, Dont Touch My AllSpark

Happy belated Snake Day everyone! We once again will be celebrating the only way we know how, by submitting ourselves to the next horrible installment of the Saw franchise. Will Zach pay enough attention to remember the plot of the movie at all? Will Jared be unnecessarily mean to Tobin Bell's performance? Will Adam be able to hide the fact that he actually likes these movies a little bit? Tune in to our sixth installment to find out!

Zach skipped part of the movie, Jared has some Oogie Boogie related questions, and Adam remembers the extended plot of Saw way too well.

Talking Points Include: A 4DX Experience, Attempting to Summarize Saw, Tobin Bell's Masked Singer, Trap By Trap Breakdown, The Dog Pound, Saw is Becoming Predictable, Jigsaw Family Feud, Importance of Flexibility, A Meta Saw Finale

It’s the Summer of Summers y’all! Crack open a cold one, get your butt to the water, and get ready for the HOTTEST game shows of the year. Like this one: we got 90’s Nickelodeon energy, some very stupid video games, and Al Roker is gonna fight and kill a wizard. This is the good stuff.

Zach has a Malcolm Gladwell update, Jared knows how weathermen are born, and Adam knows someone who hates wizards. 

Talking Points Include: The Spiciest Tipping Point, We Gotta Talk About The Evil Wizard, Adam’s Personal Bedtime Audiobook, We Crave Good Hosting, A True Weatherman Never Dies, Al Roker Gets The Final Blow

As usual, in this episode we go on quite a few tangents involving tornados, curds and whey, chili five ways, etc. However, this time I want to really make sure you all understand that those silly side bars do not detract from the severity of the situation that Jared finds himself in. He really needs your help, PLEASE give him the answers to this game show. His aunt has the Gom Jabbar held right up to his neck. She has killed before, and she WILL kill again!

Zach believes he can eat a gargantuan amount of cottage cheese, Jared doubts the perseverance of fast food chili, and Adam edits out all of the moos.

Talking Points Include: Our Cool Stunts, Genuine Cows in the Studio, Midwest Tornado Culture, A Modern Miss Muffet, Oh Yeah We've Got Chili, A Two Toilet Dunkie, The Ganja Bar, I Space Believe It's Not Butter

We've been on a bit of a stinker streak with our game show choices lately and you know what, we're just sick of it. So for the first half of the episode, we're just gonna try out a bunch of openings, and for the second half we ponder important questions such as, "What might the view be like from the back of The Hollywood Squares?" Riveting stuff.

Zach informs us about a wild new sport, Jared wants to see the butts, and Adam is looking for a Tennessee Williams style reality show. 

Talking Points Include: Jared's Decaf Adventure, Dunkin Sugar Attack, Football Furniture, Merv Griffin's Perfect Birthday, Noises Off The Game Show, Best Backstage Drama, Mark's Secret, A Real Bad Callback

You hear a prompt to take off your blindfold. You’re in a ten by ten room and a robotic voice is talking to you, telling you that you name is now a number and this is your new home. Wait… this is my new home? Time for a housewarming party! The Contestants are moving into their new studio homes and invoking tenants rights on Solitary.

Zach loosely interprets the meaning of torture, Jared finds the pod quite homey, and Adam trusts Asimov’s laws a little too much.

Talking Points Include: Elementary Speech Therapy, A Whole Lot of Game Show, Real Torture?, Grimace Island, Fancy Pods, Landlord Val, Three Laws Safe, Knife Roomba, Pod Warming Party

When hunting a geographically gifted criminal mastermind, it can be near impossible to track her down, let alone predict where she is going next. But if we could lure her to us with Mike Ditka and a bottle of malort, now we're getting somewhere. The Contestants are after the world's most mobile thief who puts the Miss in misdemeanor as they take on Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego.

Zach thinks Carmen Sandiego is a bird, Jared thinks Carmen Sandiego will want to steal the first hat, and Adam thinks Carmen Sandiego has the power of teleportation.

Talking Points Include: Birthday Week, Ruff Housing, Rockapella, World's Best Henchmen, Wildest Thefts, Return to Shoe, The Most Chicago Things, Batman Galas, Malort Tracking Device

Zach connects everything back to Magnum, P.I., Jared longs for delis and bocce, and Adam things he's found the best game show ever.

Talking Points Include: Old New York Men, Mascot Matchups, Halftime Show Expectations, Superhero Roll Call, Rotiart's Betrayal, Testing True Character, Batman's Payroll, Becoming TRUE Heroes

We here at Professional Contestants, inc. are no strangers to dicey situations, but even we are having a little trepidation with forming a plan that will land us a baby for a teammate. Buuuuuttt... if a baby just happens to show up to the game show set at the same time as us, it's not our fault if everyone assumes its ours. With Jack Daniels and Reba on their side, there's nothing to stop these three men and a baby from winning Bet On Your Baby.

Zach loves Reba, Jared loves Reba, and Adam loves Reba.

Talking Points Include: Polar Vortex, The Masked Singer Watch, Reba Appreciation, COME ON BABY, Baby Clone Trooper, Baby Reba, Baby Geniuses, Finding a Bad Baby, Pink Fong Whiskey Trap

Welcome all, to the first game show we’ve faced thus far that is SO BIG we’ve split our plan into TWO (2) episodes! So this one is all about getting on the show, and if we all have to shave our heads, wear trench coats, and hide from the sun for months to make it happen, then so be it. There’s gonna be some stiff competition as we jockey for a spot on The Amazing Race!

Zach is throwing a Jolly, Jared is hosting a Stinker, and Adam is having a Honker.

Talking Points Include: Midwestern Luau, One Honker of a Game Show, Kitchen Snake, A Spicy Relationship, Our Best and Our Worst, Becoming Three Twins, The Fester Situation, Arch Sweat Snapple, The Amazing Lace, Golden Hour Video

"I say, Grapes. This chardonnay is truly exquisite." "It would be more exquisite if you weren't drinking it out of a RED wine glass, Hot Frasier." Now imagine this scene surrounded by a bunch of hot coeds and they are all doing physical challenges. That's some irresistible television! Welcome to our self sustaining sitcom within The Challenge.

Zach is Hot Frasier's Hot Dad, Jared is Hot Frasier, and Adam is Grapes.

Talking Points Include: Fighter Pilot Nicknames, Frodo Confusion, OG Reality TV, Fruit Names, Redoing Sitcoms, Sibling Rivalry, Hamlet Monkeys, A Self Sustaining Frasier Ecosystem

Greetings, young Padawan! Three rules, the Jedi have. DON’T hit Mom with your laser sword. DON’T fall to the Dark Side. DON’T hit Dad with your laser sword.*

*It’s okay to hit Dad with your laser sword.

Zach defends the Phantom Menace, Jared defends smoking, and Adam is unsure on whom to chop.

Talking Points Include: Everybody Gets a Star War, Return of The Summer of Summers, Kids' Prizes, Becoming Cool Evil Ambassadors, Dark Side Make Over, Jedi Signing Day, Smoking is Cool

The Traitors - It's a hit new reality game show. Not just that, at it's core it is a classic party game we have all played. Call it mafia, call it werewolf - everyone knows it and everyone thinks they're good at it. But what have people forgotten? That's right, the classic 1997 film Mouse Hunt. Against all odds that mouse comes out on top, and when everyone else forgets, we harvest top notch strategy to implement at Alan Cumming's stately Scottish castle.

Zach has new finger bling, Jared still really wants to celebrate the solstices, and Adam is angry about reality stars.

Talking Points Include: The Wedding Finger, Fighting Frollo, Snake With Big Teeth, How Many Saws are Left, The Oldest Party Game, Yearning for a Thick Werewolf, The Don't Ask Don't Tell Strategy, The Mouse Hunt Strategy, Dentist Cam

Look, we know that the entertainment industry is facing a crippling financial crisis due to long term shutdowns and social distancing orders. Well here at ProCo HQ, we think it's the perfect time to start thinking outside the box. As soon as we turn Marlon Brando into poop, the world can start to heal, one emoji at a time.

Zach believes people will pay to take a photo with clouds, Jared thinks WonkaVision is the answer, and Adam wants to bring emojis to life.

Talking Points Include: Happy Birthday Tarzan, Jurassic Park Feedback, Lizard Brains, Texting Culture, Sir Poopy Stewart, Emoji Park, Mr. Wonka's Chocolate Biodome, Big Marlo Brandon

Maybe it's because we're busy and our minds are cluttered. Maybe it's because we haven't recorded in a while and we're out of practice. Maybe it's because this game really is just that basic and easy and doesn't deserve our full brand of shenanigans. Regardless, this one we're just gonna win. No real plan necessary. Now let's get back to pitching our brand new talk show to Game Show Network - sponsored by FanDuel, ChapStick, and Hot Tubs.

Zach uses chapstick in a unique way, Jared wants Optimus Prime to go solo, and Adam gets way too hung up on thumbs.

Talking Points Include: This Story Has a Story, Zach's New Audio-Ruining Prop, The Gold Bond Challenge, Wiping East to West, Timothy Goggins, Our GSN Talk Show Pitch, Holographic Performers, Ryan Hospital, Show Me Your Thumbs

Happy holidays to all! We actually managed to get a properly themed episode this week, where we're facing off in an artistic baking competition against professional gingerbread artists. We know we don't stand a chance... unless we could somehow enlist the help of Santa's Arch Elf. Wait, wasn't he in Numb3rs too? With those powers combined, we can bake up an unstoppable structure to win Holiday Gingerbread Showdown.

Zach describes a magic trick, Jared dreams up a cookie building infrastructure, and Adam thinks he looks like the guy from Numb3rs.

Talking Points Include: Countdown to Quichemas, Credit Card Butt, Gingerbread Experience, Questionably Edible, Gremlins' Day Off, Random Word Christmas, Finding an Assistant, Kid Numb3rs, Baking Oceans 11, Lego Cookies, Theme Lightning Round, Christmas Salad

Welcome to ProCo Season 3: Junior Year! Now that we are upper classmen, there are gonna be a few changes around here. Get ready for more big boy attitude, more words of wisdom, more threats involving swords, and just as much Willy Wonka discussion.

Zach is doing a lot more impressions, Jared is bringing more attitude, and Adam is becoming more sagely.

Talking Points Include: ProCo Junior Year, Masked Singer National Tour, Everyone's Eatin' Cake, We've Been Quibied, Besting The Trunchbull, The God Sword, Bring 'Em Down To Our Level

Sometimes we find ourselves face to face with a game show that is clearly much too difficult for us to succeed at. So... do we buckle down, study trivia, and train our minds to be better at critical thinking? Of course not! We throw an enormous party and fabricate events that make whatever we say technically true!

Zach has a new endorsement for his comedy career, Jared once again tries to force Sherlock Holmes, and Adam gets the boys to guess what is in his hand.

Talking Points Include: The Travis Scott Aldi Cart, Saving Our Laughter for God, Gramp Stamps, Scrooge's Big Turkey Heist, The Great Goofy, A 'Max from Goof Troop' Type, Mr. Banana Attorney at Law

It's Friday night. You're at the arcade. For some reason, one particular cabinet calls to you. You pop in a couple of quarters and the game begins, but you are unable to play due to how stunned you are by the attractiveness of the game's protagonist. A VERY sexy lunchbox. You game over, having never moved, and yet you pop in two more quarters just to get another look at, I cannot stress this enough, A VERY SEXY LUNCHBOX. Don't ask how, but this lunchbox's power is about to make us champions of Starcade!

Zach invents a paperclip game, Jared invents a lunchbox game, and Adam invents a jack-o'-lantern game.

Talking Points Include: Why We Do Cold Opens, Curl Bits, Petite Pac-Man, Nonexistent Episodes, Mario's Butt, Cheat Codes, Stalin's Ghost's Literature, Michael Jordan's 58008 Secret, Creating Bad Arcade Games, The Donkey Kong Lineage

Things we know about MasterChef: Gordon Ramsay is mean, you've gotta cook real good, the title of MasterChef doesn't really hold any clout. Things we know about Halo: Bill Gates created it, there's a bunch of space tech and aliens, Master Chief sounds kinda like Master Chef. Logically, we're gonna put those hands together. MasterChef better watch out, cause it's about to smell what The Chief is cookin'.

Zach knows nothing about Halo, Jared knows nothing about Halo, and Adam knows a little bit about Halo.

Talking Points Include: Grandma's Exotic Meats, Gordon Shows, RuneScape Capes, Bill's Bathtub Buddha Time, Master Chef Fraud, Sonic x Frodo, Master Chief's Eating Habits, Cooking with Space Tech, Pitbull's Space Party, A Permanent Life as The Chief

Plumb an orphan's toilet, they are fixed for a day. Teach an orphan to plumb, they can fix their own toilet and perhaps become plumbers one day. And we are REALLY gonna need to double down on that second option because even with our game show winnings, we can't keep up with all the charitable plumbing work we are doing.

Zach rehauls the British alphabet, Jared recounts his split or steal vs robots experience, and Adam is put off by the ruthless British game show attitude.

Talking Points Include: Adam's Dental Adventure, Bone Polishers, Battle For The B, Haych, British Brutality, The Plumber Show, Big Orphan Poops

For this episode, in the name of the holidays, we soldier on and talk in depth about the art of competitive glassblowing being unnecessarily converted into a Christmas special. But we also talk about what we really love, and that is debating which Disney character best represents famous hot headed Capulet - Tybalt.

Zach wonders the origin of the glassblowing furnace, Jared wants us to be mature about the glassblowing furnace, and Adam cannot be mature about the glassblowing furnace.

Talking Points Include: Christmas Stank, The Angelic Sonic, Pushing the Limits of Disney Bounding, Glassblowing Accessibility, Picnic Hookah, Staring Into the Glory Hole, Saving Baby Tiny Tim, Scrooge's Big Beautiful Secret

We spent so much time asking ourselves what WOULD qualify as dessert, we forgot to ask ourselves what CANNOT qualify as dessert. As it turns out, the answer is simple. It's egg. Dessert can't have an egg on it. So ready the egg cannon, we have some desserts to ruin.

Zach isn't good at Halo, Jared imagines a tomato bisque cake, and Adam insists he is proficient at snatching eggs.

Talking Points Include: #1 Gamer Chat, Toad's Sex Education, Twatches, Eight Immediate Losers, What Is Dessert, When Is Dessert, Egg Cannon

When you can’t decide whether your best potential Mini-Game Sensei is a circus performer or a hibachi chef, you put those hands together and take it on a worldwide tour. With 190+ possible challenges to face, The Contestants are searching for whoever can best prepare them for the ridiculous gauntlet of household items that stands between them and the finish line of Minute to Win It. 

Zach insists that eggs are comparable to babies, Jared doesn’t know how to feel about Steve-O, and Adam brings back a favorite ‘real of fake’ game segment.

Talking Points Include: Audio Resumes, The Masked Singer Watch, Real Life Mario Party, Gameplay Ratio, Truthies and Falsies Mini-Game Edition, Sensei Shopping, Amish Tortillas, Joining the Circus, Touring With Hibachi

Let me start this off by admitting that we have made a mistake. When finding game shows to watch for this podcast we tend to avoid ones that are just trivia questions and ones that are already specifically comedic. Folks, this one is both. However, it does have one unique thing going for it. All the questions are about current events. And sure, we may not keep up with pop culture too closely, but what if we, ourselves, were able to create the 36 biggest headlines of the year? It would sure make remembering them a lot easier.

Zach hotboxes his body with farts, Jared has the high score on Sneak King, and Adam adjudicates acceptible double hat scenarios.

Talking Points Include: High Fantasy, Our New King of Sleep, Brittish Purge, Hat on a Hat, Osmosis Jones, Nose Farts, Five Good Dunks, Twelve Disguises Each, Royal Family What If

We're about to get into some dicey legal territory here, and we know it. When taking on an enemy that serves nothing but low blows, sometimes you have to stoop to its level. But if we have to border on breaking the law, we better make sure we bring along an expert. The Contestants are teaming up with The King of Entrapment to take down the steaming pile of garbage known as Repo Games.

Zach knows what extortion is, Jared has a story about tree law, and Adam suggests the inclusion of a master trickster.

Talking Points Include: The Year's Scariest Things, Mr. Jack's Pumpkin Ball, A Very Bad Game Show, Repo The Repo, Getting Away With Entrapment, Chris Hansen's Many Tricks, The Bank of His Chransen, Most Desirable Crimes, Tree Law

Gather round kids, and I'll tell you the story of how an elephant saved an entire civilization that existed on a delicious nacho cheese snack chip. The world consisted entirely of branded products and cost over five hundred million dollars to broadcast live to the viewers of a certain annual big game. Oh yeah, and the dude who directed Thor was involved. Stop asking about The Drinking Game Show. We're doing Seussical now.

Zach rewrites musical lyrics, Jared fully understands knighthood, and Adam has an award nominated voice.

Talking Points Include: Snakes vs Mice, Back to Stinkers, Our Doritos Commercials, Rewriting Seussical, Hijacking a School Project, Befriending The Director of Thor, A Dr. Seuss Cameo, Improvised Uncle Chipps, A Live Commercial Musical

On a modern game show it can be easy to become distracted by all the sleek prizes, the flashy gimmicks, and the sometimes charismatic hosts. This time we can't let those distractions deter us. Sure, we could maybe make it out of this one with a bunch of money and prizes to take home, but the real prize is hidden in plain sight - on a flash drive hanging around Damon Wayans Jr's neck. Thats right, Scary Movie 7. The world needs to see it.

Zach took a vacation for the first time ever, Jared thinks we've become jaded, and Adam has an amazing record as a matchmaker.

Talking Points Include: ProCo Vacation, Bergeron Boys, A Bone Saw Type Antagonist, Secrets of Nic Cage's Haunted House, Suits Clips, Bartering at Safelife, At Home Services, The Whole World's The Cage, Scary Movie 7

What do the United States Supreme Court, the soul of Mister Ed, and Adam Sandler's film career all have in common? Truly nothing, but we still somehow managed to talk at length about each of these topics in this episode. These bad MTV game shows always bring out the best in us. Anyway, get ready to be strapped to an arm chair and have snacks poured on your head while a bunch of stereotypes ask you trivia questions, because late 80s MTV was a wastoid teen going through puberty in the form of a television network.

Zach has watched no recent music videos, Jared gets spanked by the supreme court, and Adam ponders the soul of Mister Ed.

Talking Points Include: A Speed Update, Fastest Kid in the City, The Golden Era of MTV, Reaching Across The Crack, Prize Raps, Music Video Philosophy, Revisiting Top Gun, Mister Ed Soul Transfer, Adam Sandler: A Serious Director

THE CONTESTANTS ARE BACK FOR SEASON TWO BABY! As we return from our brief hiatus, we have the urge to change things up a bit, and the energy we're bringing is gonna be wild. To kick off this new phase of the ProCo saga, we are jumping head first into future of reality game shows. Welcome to The Circle, where despite the fact that players only interact via social media, we can still find a way fake a murder!

Zach wants to be a joke-a-day account, Jared wants to be a cuss boy, and Adam wants to catfish people with memes.

Talking Points Include: Zach's Life Trivia, Season Two Energy, Horny Jail, Developing Our Persona, Jared's Philosophical Questions, A Sexy Reveal, Faking a Murder, Hot Detectives

Ok, we get it. Maybe we can't just climb into an aquarium and expect to automatically win a bunch of random chance games against some fish. But what if we make ourselves really tiny first? And what if one of us is scuba certified? And what if we get an octopus involved? It probably still wont work, yeah, WE KNOW. At least eating the other contestants isn't explicitly off the table this time.

Zach is tickled by the idea of a fish naming another fish, Jared reminds everyone that he is scuba certified, and Adam can't imagine Godzilla running.

Talking Points Include: All Hail The King, Godzilla Plus One, Getting Called Out Via Mail, A Televised Screen Saver, Mr. Limpet's Diplomatic Immunity, Dexterous Lips, Feeding Frenzy Friday, A Reverse Shawshank, Two Little Jareds

I KNOW we say this often but this game show really could be solved with a Rumpelstiltskin themed plan! Then again it could be a Macduff plan. Or a Little Man plan. Or a Rip Van Winkle plan. Or even a secret twins plan. You're confused, I get it, but this mistake of a game show requires some real lateral thinking if we are gonna steal $10,000 from a newborn baby.

Zach poorly describes how a c section works, Jared eagerly awaits the return of the woolly mammoth, and Adam gets a phone call.

Talking Points Include: Sauna Techniques, An Emergency Phone Call, Old Man Fantasys, Ambush Game Shows, Financially Literate Tarzan, The TLC Show Game, Kate vs. Kramer, A Rumpelstiltskin Situation, A Rip Van Winkle Situation, A Little Man Situation

Wow. It seemed like yesterday America’s favorite boy was learning about science and cracking catch phrases all over the place. But now, we at the Professional Contestants are proud to celebrate TWENTY YEARS of the Smart Lad. Time really does fly huh? He’s all grown up now. Like, really grown.

Hey, why is Young Sheldon 50 ft. tall?

Zach knows nothing about Ant-Man, Jared knows too much about Ant-Man, and Adam is throwing a party in Joel McHale’s pants.

Talking Points Include: Millionaire Birthday, Entirely Too Much Ant-Man Talk, There’s a Party in Joel’s Pants, Iron Maid-Ant, EGOT, Big Young Sheldon

We love the Queer Eye guys. The things they do to change peoples' lives for the better is pretty great. But if you ask us, it's time for a change. This time, the strong man, the bearded lady, the lion tamer, the clowns, and the ring leader are coming to town. They're here to tell you that you have a gross body and shoot you out of a cannon. All things just keep getting better!

Zach is afraid of corn specifically, Jared would pay money to see Joe Biden get shot out of a cannon, and Adam is certified to operate heavy machinery.

Talking Points Include: Forklift Certification, Corn of the Corn, Fish Center, A Severe Lack of Fluff, Anti-Host, True False or Something Else, Fixing the Winter Warlock's Gross Body, The Yassification of William H Basset

When they go wild, we go mild, and when dealing with a game show that is as wild as this week’s, we are turning to our most bland experiences for inspiration: elementary school library classes. Find the nearest outlet! The Contestants are wheeling the TV cart into Silent Library.

Zach doesn’t laugh, Jared looks to Disney characters for assistance, and Adam searches for a new nickname.

Talking Points Include: Lifetime Movies, Casper The Sexy Ghost, Zero Hype, Nickname Auditions, An Ursula Plan, Disney Pyramid Scheme, Funny Monks, Poker Night, StudMan’s Sex Book, Library Movies

The Professional Contestants are headed to Japan to hang out and pal around with 142 of our newest best friends! We're gonna do obstacle courses! We're gonna eat biscuits! And if any war hungry Counts or Generals even THINK about forcing us to fight on their behalf, we're gonna incite a revolution!

Zach has definitely not been to Boston, Jared reminices about playground energy, and Adam attempts to understand medieval war strategy.

Talking Points Include: A Harry Potter Adajacent Update, The Dichotomy of Party Magicians, Bad Army Recruitment Tactics, Obstacle Courses of War, The Strong Man Maze, Game Show Cultures, A Peoples' Uprising, The Cheese New Deal

Ok, here's the plan. Like all good heists, the target will be distracted while our elite team of five sneaks in and retrieves the reward. The distraction: Jumanji. The team: ProCo + Banderas and Shalhoub. The objective: The Win. Who says we have to heist something physical? We're taking on esports for the first time as we target The League of Legends World Championship.

Zach is Clean Tom, Jared is Mr. Potato Head, and Adam is Romance Mac.

Talking Points Include: Gentlemen's Hour, Esports Resort, Champion Trivia, Gragas Fan Club, Pleasure Personified, The Two Time Tonys, Team Cosplay, A Double Heist, Entering the Game

Ah, the MET. An evening of culture and refinement. What’s playing in the main proscenium this eve? Ah a classic: Madama Butterfly by Giacomo Puccini, performed by the percussion ensemble Stomp. Oh, they are performing it in its original trash can lids! What a delight!

Zach watches James Corden during the podcast, Jared has a great package joke, and Adam lies about the White Stripes.

Talking Points Include:  Spooky Stories for Those With Social Anxiety, A Flat Stanley Situation, The Masked Singer Family, There’s No Reason to Hate Ken Jeong, Objectively Bad, Taller or Shorter, Cake and the Cupcakes, A Night at the Stompra

A bit of blackjack advice to those who have enough sense to take it. Never split tens, always stand on a hard seventeen, and if the dealer turns The Left Leg of The Forbidden One SPRINT OUT OF THE BUILDING! Once Yu-Gi-Oh meets blackjack someone's grandpa is going to the shadow realm, and these three hot pharaohs are taking that knowledge to the bank on Catch 21.

Zach pitches a way to battle with baseball cards, Jared once played the Harry Potter trading card game, and Adam knows way too much about Yu-Gi-Oh.

Talking Points Include: Custody of The Boy Wizard, Dudley's Path, A Trivia Way of Life, The French Prince, Building The Forbidden One, an An Anime Lesson, Save the Grandpa Save the World, Fighting Baseball Cards, Zach's Dream, Invoking Yu-Gi-Oh Rules, Handsome Spirit Pharaohs

The Jaws Effect: an idea that an imposing yet unseen mysterious force is driving much of the plot and actions in a movie. It makes it that much more impactful when that force is finally revealed. Now imagine that force is Kevin James, and the movie is called Here Comes The Boom. Apply to literally any movie plot, and you've got yourself a winner.

Zach gets confused by a TikTok trend, Jared makes an attempt at true professionalism, and Adam is convinced that jockeys are prepared to kill their horse.

Talking Points Include: Ben Franklin's Electric Urine, Kelsey Grammer's Breakfast Songs, Papa Tom Death Clause, Leutinant Vandersnatch and the Winter Wizard, Werner Hertzog is Coming to Town, A Nasty Horse's Guide to Murder, Young Joker

If the story of Rumpelstiltskin can teach us anything, it's this. 1: All riddles must have finite answers. 2: All riddles can be solved by quick witted heroes. 3: All riddle askers will eventually go home, get drunk, and wildly scream the answers to their riddles. All we've gotta do is follow this riddle troll home.

Zach finds himself in the middle of a Shrek debate, Jared is the resident Humpty Dumpty expert, and Adam proposes a set of inherent riddle truths.

Talking Points Include: Making Dad Friends, Baba Yaga Transportation Methods, Classic Riddle Stories, Rumpelstiltskin's Blunders, Moderating a Humpty Debate, Shrek Polls

Let's play Balderdash. The topic is 'Ways to make sure someone is telling the truth.' There's truth serum. There's polygraph tests. There's the birthday wish of a child with a pure heart. Two of these are fake, and one is real. I'll give you a second to think... but it's pretty obvious, right? We agree. Now we just need to figure out how to get Young Sheldon to make a Liar Liar birthday wish for us.

Zach thinks Kendrick Lamar eats chalk, Jared will fight Kenickie, and Adam won't accept the existance of truth serum.

Talking Points Include: Climbing to Lollapalooza, The Shemar Moore Insitiute for Shirtless Crime Solving, Club Cracker Barrel, The Next Pure Soul, Using Our Hall Passes, The Russos of Hazzard, Prime Time Birthday Wish

Christopher Booker really thought he was being slick when he said there are only 7 basic plots - but after some thoughtful research I think we've beat him by 4. When it comes to internet videos, there are only three plots as far as we're concerned: guy gets hit in nuts, animal does something cool, and redneck has nice life. Dont @ us, we've done our homework.

Zach gets confused by the Elvis movie, Jared has three specific questions before he goes to a concert, and Adam would be bummed to meet Slimer in heaven.

Talking Points Include: Big Time Rush in 2022, Harry Styles ft. Michael Jordan, Slime Consistency, Eating Contest in Heaven, Idiot Factor Returns, Uphill Skiing, The Chuck Machine

Zach's carabiner is keeping the tigers at bay, Jared is holding a grenade, and Adam has dirt on Chris Hardwick.

Talking Points Include: Baseball is Closed, Government Lock-Ins, Presidential Bowling, The Hardwick Bell Curve, The 90's Vibe, I Am MTV, Game vs Show, Historical Document NFTs

There is no denying that small towns have a certain charm. The quaint environment they provide is something you just can't get in bigger cities. But know this, every single one also has something weird going on. It might be troll themed. It might have a hyperfixation on a sitcom from the 60s. It might name itself after American tragedies and host an oyster festival despite not being costal. Ok, we made that last one up, but you get the point.

Zach brings sherry, Jared gets roasted by his hometown, and Adam truly misunderstands Alf.

Talking Points Include: Frasier Vibes, Spin Off Combos, Spooky Re-Edits, Bug Pranks, Not Our Hometown, Mayberry Fest, Making a Weird Town, The Landlocked Oyster Festival, Wolf Flu, Cold Hard Cash

Memory: A fragile thing. Take that memory for a sail on the lake. A piece of it breaks, so you replace it with a new one. You sail your memory again, and you break it again. This keeps happening, you keep replacing your memory with new parts until you realize... this metaphor makes no sense, and the Contestants don’t know the first thing about philosophy. 

Zach invents a new radio, Jared wants to do a scare, and Adam proposes a philosophical question. 

Talking Points Include: Goro the Hotelier, An Implied Santa Invitation, Anyone Can Be Lightyear, My Notes Say Boring, Reba’s Puzzles, Watson’s Recipes, If I Was Cam Janson, Dr. Socrates’ Sick ‘Sploon

You know this guy Bobcat? He's a rude and rowdy dude who needs a taste of his own medicine. We know exactly where to source that medicine from. And remember, if you like this episode, just clap and hoot and holler as much as you want. The very accurate applause-o-meter will let us know.

Segment music written and recorded by friend of the show Andrew Stewart - @andrewishuman on Twitter.

Zach despises applause-o-meters, Jared introduces a new format for tiebreakers, and Adam and Jerry Seinfeld are kindred spirits.

Talking Points Include: King George Begins, Animal Planet Black List, A New Better Halftime Show, Insult Comics, Steve Urp-bowl, Stanning Tom Bergeron, Jared's Haunted House Rules, Give Us a WooHoo, Using Insult Comics to Our Advantage

An effective way to overcome your difficulties is to try to view things from another prospective. Sometimes those difficulties are a mother and daughter not seeing eye to eye. Sometimes they are trying to win a mediocre game show. Either way, a Freaky Friday situation is certainly in order. And it looks like we are swapping... Ed O'neill and Scrappy Doo? I must be reading that wrong, right? Right?!?!

Zach reveals his tongue condition, Jared breaks new culinary ground, and Adam recounts the entire story of Rumpelstiltskin.

Talking Points Include: A Raw Jalapeño Snack, Graduation Vows, Eating the Shells, Garage Sale Scores, Rumpelstiltskin Revisited, The Old Man List, A Freaky Friday Situation

Happy Smoochie Week everyone! To celebrate we are discussing the most famous matchmaking game show of all time. Except now there are six potential matches who perform physical challenges. Also it takes place in a stadium. And everyone is dressed up like Pokemon. Wait, what was this show originally? Oh, that's right! The Contestants are giving a modern punch up to The Dating Game.

Zach doesn't know how Tinder works, Jared is really into Gengar, and Adam accidentally pitches a killery app.

Talking Points Include: Iditarod Hype, The Masked Singer Watch, Smoochie Week, The Dating Game Killer, Boy Stadium 64, Pokemon Type Dating Profiles, Loving on Gengar, Big Purple Attraction, Dangerous Swim Class Games, Personalized Pokemon Dates

Welcome to the newly sovereign nation of Splatalot! You can only be here for one of two reasons. Either you are a child here to challenge our king, or you are trying to get us to return this land to the Canadian government. Either way, this is Gildar. He is going to fight you.

Zach believes he has found the perfect game show, Jared is keen on inciting a revolution, and Adam searches for a b-list celebrity to be his dad.

Talking Points Include: A Failed Intro, Swedish Chef's Children, No Prizes for Kids, Defender Relationships, Succeeding From Canada, GilDaddy, Xiaolin Showdown, Proving We're Cool, Getting Famous Parents

Cameo has been around for a while now, but we're pretty sure no one knows how it actually works. Like if we play our cards right, we should be able to get a celebrity to unknowingly say something that legally signs their net worth over to us. And if we can remake Psych with us as the main characters in the process, well hey, that's a win-win.

Zach searches Cameo for the best deals, Jared still has extortion on the brain, and Adam retells his secondhand account of a game show disaster.

Talking Points Include: Polaroid Paparazzi, Sleepy Hands on a Hardbody, Bring Back This Show, Fernando Dance, Blowing Chunks on Wheel of Fortune, Too Much Cookies All in My Tummy, Stew Hefner

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE IDITAROD HAS OFFICIALLY BEGUN! Buuuuuutt, it’s like an 8-10 day race and we still have some time so what if we just talked about a mediocre animal themed game show filmed at a zoo? Yeah, let’s do that. Animal Planet Zooventure here we come!

Zach is fooled by true/false questions, Jared launches a new Big Dog segment, and Adam confuses Hunter and Dundee.

Talking Points Include: Early Iditarod Predictions, The Masked Singer Watch, Ruff Housing, Messy Kids, Funny Falling, JD’s Confessions, Bird Hippo, Befriending the Macaw

Welcome back all you witches and ghouls, the most slithery time of the year has returned! That's right, Snake With Big Teeth is upon us once again. This year, we kick off our celebration the only way we know how, going on a spooky themed tangent for about 20 minutes and then trying to figure out what The Undertaker's greatest fear might be. One thing we know for sure, it isn't sandwiches.

Zach accidentally reveals his actual greatest fear, Jared thinks The Undertaker might be scared of a strip tease, and Adam has never been on a Haunted Hayride.

Talking Points Include: A Special Snake With Big Teeth Month, The Haunted Hayride, Uninspired Monster Names, A WWE Crash Course, The Magic of The Urn, Grimace Island, The Undertaker's Sandwich Strength, Shaping Our Biggest Fears

Happy Holidays! It’s that time of year, and we GOT THE SPIRIT. THE HOLDIAY SPIRIT. We’re drinking nothing but eggnog, eating nothing but cookies, and talking about nothing but Bernard the Elf and the Three Wise Men. Oh, Santa? We got Santas. That‘s right: plural.

Zach is jolly, Jared is crafty, and Adam is kid approved.

Talking Points Include: Christmas Costumes, Only Santas in the Building, The Sanatacratic Oath, Tommy the Elf Has His Own Take on Things, ProCo is Mad at a Firefighter, The Spirit of Santa Can be in Anyone, Good Grinch Energy, Krampus Doesn’t Do Drugs

It may be because we have had to watch seven of these movies, seven years in a row. It may be because we put it off for so long that we had to watch it during Thanksgiving instead of in October. It may just be the way the series goes. But this may truly have been the worst Saw movie we have experienced so far. Not only that, but at this point the traps are so avoidable we don't even have to spend much time strategizing. That way we have more time to misremember the plots of all the previous movies and complain about how we hate the one we just watched. And isn't that really what you come here for?

Zach predicts Scrooge will be involved, Jared predicts piranhas will be involved, and Adam isn't allowed to predict because he's seen the movie already.

Talking Points Include: Toad vs Cartman vs Jay Leno, An Extremely Late Snake Day Celebration, Jokes We Could Have Told, Attempting to Remember Saw Lore, Story and Trap Predictions, Cary Elwes' Lawsuit, A Clumsy Recap, Tobin Bell the Cool Teen, The True Alpha Male, Jigsaw Gets Woke, Our Future With Saw

We go to school. We work hard to get a good paying job. We save up our money with the hope of one day never having to work again. And the one thing we all are striving for in life? The thing that will let us know we've made it? Traveling the world and eating good food. Preferably ham. Preferably on someone else's dime.

Zach thinks he is in the top 50% of personable humans, Jared's day rate is a BLT, and Adam has a fine dining experience.

Talking Points Include: Michelin Star Dining, Sucking Meat From a Shell, Travel the World and Eat Good Food, Lions By Omission, Schrodinger's Penn Jillette, Smoked Meats?, The Shirley Temple of Ham Juice, Hameater Gin

Sometimes your favorite team of professional game show contestants have to leave their homes (and audio equipment) for prolonged periods of time to visit other states. This happened to be the case for all three of them during the last two weeks. But lucky you! Despite our inability to record, you are still getting a ProCo clip episode featuring some of our best bits from some of our earliest schemes.

Zach was out of town for two weeks, Jared was out of town for four days, and Adam was out of town for three days.

Talking Points Include: Chopped, Guy's Grocery Games, Wipeout, Beat Shazam, Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader, The Joker's Wild, 1 vs 100, Pyramid, Hole In The Wall, Merv Griffin's Crosswords, Cram, Double Dare, What Would You Do

Look, not only is this game show uninteresting, but it is also incredibly easy to win. We had to address it eventually, you know our vow! So in lieu of actually talking about this game show, prepare yourself for an hour or so of bits about the moon landing, Anthony Fauci, and Phantom of the Opera X Mad TV. And if you don't think its funny, you're not allowed to cancel us - because it was improv and those are the rules.

Zach can't be paid to watch bad improv, Jared has ten minutes of pre Covid Fauci jokes, and Adam insists everyone should have a favorite pen.

Talking Points Include: Back to School, F Word Allowance, The Return of June, Neil Armstrong's Post Moon Career, How to Get a Nickname, Anthony "Ant Bully" Fauci, Don't Be Mad if This Isn't Funny, Peanut Butter Mistrial, Gender Neutral Phantom, If I Dropped It

It’s time to Snake, Rattle and Roll everybody! It’s Snake With Big Teeth Month, and that means it’s time for us to scour the bowels of the Internet for the scariest game shows out there. And while a snake with big teeth is maybe the fifth(?) scariest thing imaginable in the world right now, The Contestants are here to do what we do best: intimidate the production crew of game shows with our karate moves.

Zach angers the Haunted House Workers demographic, Jared revisits his favorite rules, and Adam is comfortable sharing a small room with Brock Lesnar.

Talking Points Include: Snake & Rattle & Roll, Jonathan Price is Late for Breakfast, Final Call for Chainsaw, Jared Smith’s Haunted House Rules, A Hot Room with Brock Lesnar,  The Feared Als, Sean’s Gotta Eat

Not all game shows are kooky, over the top, wild rides, ok? We love a silly show as much as you do, but we did make an oath to conquer EVERY game show, and that includes the ones that are just charades. Like, seriously. This one is just charades. But just because this show is entirely a bad party game, that doesn't mean we can't get the newly crowned King of England and some monster trucks involved.

Zach wants hot dogs at his coronation, Jared wants a suckling pig at his coronation, and Adam wants a water slide at his coronation.

Talking Points Include: The Capn's 60th, Jimathor Buckets, Squantum Lipa, Dirty Nasty Water Foul, Honey I Shrunk The King, Operation Golden Orb, Coronation Cookout With Katy Perry, The Fattest Rabbit Wins, Monster Chuck

Here you go folks, it's the in depth analysis on Donkey Kong's extended history that you didn't ask for, but certainly need to hear. Join Zach and Jared as they are taken through the DK Crew's troubling timeline by newly anointed Kong historian, Adam Decker. War, family conflict, the occupation of foreign territory to bleed it dry of its main resources, it's all here.

Access the companion guide here: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1kZKx7oEe9wQFCpe_YC4KNmVx3jM70Ru0/view?usp=sharing

You'll need it.

So you can go ahead and congratulate us for winning Legends of the Hidden Temple. We've already done it. And though you may be wondering how we won a game show that only existed before two of us were born, the answer is actually quite simple: time travel. The Contestants are challenging the fabric of space and time itself in their great finale of this years Summer of Summers.

Zach yearns for a yacht podcast, Jared brags about his proper astronomy education, and Adam tries his best to explain time travel theories he doesn't fully understand.

Talking Points Include: Summer's End, Double-0-Yacht Talk, The Return of Jafar, Ninja Turtle Astronomy, WB Kids Cartoons, Time Travel Theories, The Comb of Albert Einstein, Empress Eugenie, DTTT, Fat Thor

We, the Professional Contestants, have taken an oath to find a way to win every game show ever. You know this. We know this. Yet somehow we still find ourselves blindsided by the occasional very bad, very old, very cursed by a mummy game show. You would think we'd have learned by now. Why am I bringing this up now? No reason... Anyway, here's Haggis Baggis.

Zach wins the Best Joke of the Podcast award, Jared finds Albert Einstein to be entertaining, and Adam delves into some Norse history.

Talking Points Include: Hanukkah Speedrun, Fish Math, Git-R-Done In Alaska, The Game Show Mummy Curse, Haggis Baggis Etymology, We Don't Know George Burns, Old People Chicken Dinner Preview

The contestants concoct an elaborate plan to navigate the hellish gamescape that is Deal or No Deal with the hopes of making it out with pockets full of money and their souls still intact.

The Contestants decide that it’s time for some charity work and are gonna do this one for the kids… and Mario Lopez.

Talking Points Include: Zach’s Closet Recording Set-Up, Groundhog Supreme Court, Mario’s Candy Prison, A Lack of Role Models, Jelly Sabotage, Mascot Personal Lives, Bubble Gum Troll’s Secret to Happiness, Ted Cruz’s Gaming Habits

The Contestants figure out how to best exploit the vanity of celebrities for their advantage in this throw back to the classic game show, Hollywood Squares.

Talking Points Include: Freezy the Slush Boy, Fall and Spring Olympics, Tic-Tac/Toe, Adam’s Hangover, Bum Bum Beer, Throwing Food at Cats, Hip Hop Magician, Chef Boyarbee, The Infamous Tenth Square

The Contestants go down a particularly raunchy road as they figure out how to capitalize on the palpable sexual tension in the Olympic Village and use it to their advantage.

Talking Points Include: Phonetics of ‘Umm’, Shaun White and the Bad Man, Winnie the Zach, Skiing on Snow Cones, Olympic Hype Men, Non-Horny Olympic Competitors, Hot Tub Lionel Richie

The Contestants decide to take a run at the mainstream and figure out the question that is on everyone’s mind: how can we start winning the trivia game show app HQ?

Talking Points Include: Texts from the Bank, Cloverleaf Restaurant, Airplane Goes to the Dentist, Trap Trebek, Canadian Jews, Patron Saint Ken Jennings, Regis Tracker

The Contestants plan a wedding and research adult adoption in order to grow their family and take on all comers in the popular (and often raunchy) game show, Family Feud.

Talking Points Include: Hot Gatorade, Twinder, NSYNC vs Backstreet, “My Grandma Drives a Corvette”, A Required Viewing of The Sound of Music, #GrandpaWatch2018

The Contestants create an urban legend specifically designed to give them a leg up on the competition when participating in the popular cooking game show, Chopped.

Talking Points Include: Twisting the Head Off a Deer, Lake House Hash, Plating on a Cat, The Return of Chef Boyarbee, Hot Slushies, The Chef Kitchen Chef, The Creation of an Urban Legend

The Contestants are forced to think outside the box to find a strategy wild enough to give them an edge in the already zany and frantic Guy’s Grocery Games.

Talking Points Include: Jared Smith Fictional Mom, The Fieri Cinematic Universe, Guy or Nie, Pastry Pete and Big Fatty, Sock Pasta, Handkerchief Eclipse, Mango Hypnosis, Back Off Haters

The Contestants take a run at something a little more physical as they muse on the best way to conquer the over the top obstacle course show, Wipeout.

Zach’s Googling comes back in full force, Jared proposes a new segment that goes over well, and Adam is slowly dying.

Talking Points Include: Whats for Breakfast, Our Winnings to Date, I Hate Haters, Wet Ladder Climbing, Badger Spanks, Leaving Clues, Big Balls Chicago, Get Sticky and Hang On, Orangutan Squared

The Contestants channel folk hero John Henry as they prepare to save the world from the impending technological uprising lead by robot overlord, Shazam.

Zach gets us all sued, Jared only knows 2000’s cartoons’ theme songs, and Adam makes references no one will get.

Talking Points Include: Zach’s Bagel Mistake, Sexy Television DJs, Beat The Lawsuit, Audience Clapping, The Hammer Bros, A Devil Went Down to Georgia Situation, Shazam Unchained, Mucha Lucha Flash Drive, Hiding Evil from Brendan Fraser

The Contestants might be a little too confident as they plan their eventual win on the once popular public shaming game show, Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader.

Zach gets quizzed on the spot, Jared takes on the US Educational System, and Adam really dislikes the 5th graders.

Talking Points Include: Organized Mugs, Hate Mail From Shazam, Public Shaming, Are We Cheaters?, Game Show Law, Chuck-E-Cheese Gang Update, Remaining Likable, I Hate You Tres, Choking Schemes, HaHas For Free, A Fake Assassination Attempt, Forced ‘Good Jobs’

On this special 4/20 episode The Contestants are competing on The Joker’s Wild, and it’s about more than just the bud; it’s about meaningful relationships.

Zach has a hard time opening up, Jared just wants to brunch with Snoop, and Adam realizes that the universe is made of love.

Talking Points Include: The Mount Rushmore of Weed, Second Chance Jokes, Vapes and Yu-Gi-Oh, The Bud Man, Bram Toker, Snoop Compatibility Test, Learning to Be Ourselves, What is Cool?, Guy Fieri Watch, Plumber Roast, Opening Up Emotionally

As promised in episode 13, here are the removed segments of the episode, both caused by and relating to the plumber invasion in the home of Zach and Adam during recording. It is our hope that this bonus content will not only fill in some of the gaps in the episode, but also bring to light (in this particular instance) the collective mindset that fueled our previous episode.

The Contestants are back where they are most comfortable as they create a characters for themselves to portray as they become part of The Mob to take away the top cash prize on 1 vs 100.

Zach finds a cure for Googling, Jared’s ass becomes canon, and Adam gets really hung up on a John Grisham story.

Talking Points Include: Fidget Spinner, Setting Back Humanity 100 Years, Becoming One With The Mob, Oddly Phrased Questions, Runaway Mob, Power Bracelets, The Jeans Family, Grandpa-Grandson Dance, Gaining Trust, Brady Bunch Ignorance

Being very comfortable around the game Catchphrase, The Contestants find themselves in familiar territory when planning how to take on the similarly played and long running game show, Pyramid.

Zach somehow Googles despite having no WiFi, Jared receives an impromptu graduation ceremony, and Adam’s secret pigeon roommate is revealed.

Talking Points Include: Jared’s Private Grad Ceremony, The Return of Second Chance Jokes, Knowing a Real Contestant, Snoop Appearance, The Game Show Host Legion of Doom, Shark Jumpers, Three Sweet Boys, The Ghost of Barbara Bush, Spooky Pigeon

The Contestants fall into quite a bit of disagreement on not only the quality of the show Hole In The Wall, but also on the best way to win it.

Zach prepares to draw a butter bath, Jared readies his body to leave its corporeal form, and Adam looks to steal some high quality hologram technology.

Talking Points Include: Adam’s Animal Hour, Inflatable Spooky, Lots of Opinions, Hole Counter, Logistics of Becoming a Ghost, Bathroom Hologram Tech, Butter Bath, A Very Bad Necromancer, The End of The Podcast

The Contestants stumble upon the realization that producing is where the real money is and hatch a plan to reboot and revamp an old boring game show to start raking in that dough.

Zach reveals his new chill persona, Jared is haunted by theme music, and Adam sides with some haters.

Talking Points Include: A Chill Intro, Lots of Beans, Lame Contestants, One Man Studio Audience, The World’s Most Expensive Attempt to Finish a Crossword Puzzle, Big Band Coconuts, Our First Great Plan, Finding a Cross-Daddy, The Tomb of The Pharaoh Merv

The Contestants are proud to announce their very first holiday: a season-long celebration of  game show host and producer Marc Summers. To kick this party off right they discuss a game show that Marc Summers only hosted once, and a show that may or may not break the rules of the Geneva Convention.

Zach slaps the bass, Jared investigates war crimes, and Adam gives credit and takes it away.

Talking Points Include: The Living is Easy, The Summer of Summers, Pause this Episode, The Rules of Cram, War Crime?, The ~Strangest~ Things, Marc Summers Did a Cuss, A Good Property Brothers Bit, The Importance of the Audience, A Half-Formed Idea, Jared’s Ex-Girlfriend, A Rabbit Hole

The Contestants have to tread lightly as they debate the best way to be accepted onto a game show that only admits child contestants: Double Dare.

Zach takes on the role of a single dad / spin doctor, Jared ponders the legality of being a little boy, and Adam worries about how many times Jared has said ‘Little Boy.’

Talking Points Include: National Doughnut Day, Sneaky Emails, Y2K Logic, Origin of Slime, Busch Gardens, Cousin Griffin, Perfect Innocence, The Hardships of a Single Parent Household, Double Disguises, One Inch Stilts, Gym Scooters

The Contestants suddenly find themselves in a very real position to organize a coup against the President of Nickelodeon.

Zach really wants some apple pie, Jared is concerned about the type of audience What Would You Do could attract, and Adam stumbles onto some vital information that changes everything.

Talking Points Include: A New Wipeout, Pie Eventually, Coaster Poems, The Nickelodeon Tyranny, Kids Choice Elections, Facilitating the Messy, 500 Days of Summers, Zach’s Very Good Dr. Phil Impression, Nickelodeon Political Puns, A Running Primate

As the Summer of Summers comes to a close, the Contestants decide to pursue a moral victory to earn the forgiveness and respect of their good friend Marc. That lasts about 20 minutes and they decide to dress up as ghosts instead.  

Zach provides the score, Jared works the fan base, and Adam does a good.

Talking Points Include: Adam’s Last Stand, The Fan Base, Pigeon Babies, DUNKED, Mr. Alaski’s One-Man Show, The Summers’ Canon, ;), AH! REAL GHOSTS!, The Chimp Returns, Zach Is The World

Crack open a Bud Light Orange, lay out in the sun, and join The Contestants for this first official episode of summer. While brainstorming the best way to fix the underwhelming dud that was this year’s Price is Right Summer Special, The Contestants find themselves in the perfect position to organize the largest party of all time and finally bring about world peace.

Zach must have watched Don’t Mess With The Zohan recently, Jared commits a mustache sin, and Adam debates his official DJ name.

Talking Points Include: A Summer Dud, Eviscerate the Pigeon, Beach Flavored La Croix, Live from SeaWorld, Orca Whale Showcase, 3×3 Private Island, Sea Rats, Tug Boat Puns, The World’s Biggest Beach Party, Solving World Peace, Air SeaNSea, Mediterranean Sea Reviews

With the opportunity to lie directly to celebrities in front of all of America, The Contestants discover the chance to usurp some celebs and make a long overdue dramatic sequel.

Zach becomes Sean Bean, Jared becomes Joel McHale, and Adam becomes Sarah Silverman.

Talking Points Include: Two Realies and One Falsie, Paul Bunyan’s Ox, Ignoring The Elephant, Bullying Bullies, I Am Joel McHale, Celebrity Identity Theft, Kangaroo Jack 2, 2003 in Film, Tempting Anthony Anderson, Eating Sean Bean, Some Pigeon Names

The Contestants are all really busy, alright! Get off their backs! Check out this highlight reel from some of our earliest episodes.

Zach doesn’t really know much about audio editing, Jared has an hour commute in the mornings, and Adam never gets off work before 9:00 PM.

Talking Points Include: The Price is Right, Deal or No Deal, Candy Crush, Hollywood Squares, 2018 Winter Olympics, HQ, Family Feud

Ay, whatcha got there? Your fancy money-cab needs a tow? Well ya pals ova at the ProCo Towing Agency can help you no problem….. SIKE: YOU’RE ON THE BUCK TRUCK NERD!!! NOW ANSWER OUR RIDDLES!!!

Zach doesn’t know New York, Jared is exhausted, and Adam drops the Corn Bread rap we’ve all been waiting for.

Talking Points Include: The Sleep Cycle, Kidnapping, Game Show Reactions, Road Trip!, Ben Bailey is a Genie, The Smart Part of New York, Scott Bacula is in the Cab, The Buck Truck, Corn Bread Beats

It may be Shark Week, but the only Sharks the Contestants care about are the ones strapped with cash and knee-deep in Party Wine. So get ready to invest listeners, as we pitch you a product you never knew you needed: the ability to smell just like Brenden Frasier.

Zach does birthday chores, Jared starts a hotline, and Adam chickens out of a mustache.

Talking Points Include: All the Birthdays, Human Woman Punches Fish, Mark Cuban’s Party Wine, Talkin’ bout the Mummy, Stanky Cebs’, Pierce Brogsnog

You thought the podcast discussions about Bubble Gum Trolls and throwing food at cats were the most ridiculous thing around? Wait until you hear what ol’ Sethward the Walrus Man is up to.

Zach discusses the Absurdist movement, Jared eats some jelly, and Adam craves good physical comedy.

Talking Points Include: The Comedy Police, What is a Toad, Tommy Maitland, The Chicken Man, Slinky Josh, Pushing the Envelope, PB and Jared

Ben Stein’s pot of 5,000 dollars is being guarded by a very rude Jimmy Kimmel. In order to beat the Boring Man at his own game, the Contestants are going to dive deep into his subconscious and revel his cool party persona.

Zach has a zebra bit, Jared’s in Chicago, and Adam is too good for poop jokes.

Talking Points Include: Traveling Boys, The Zoo Union, Plan #2, Jimmy is a Shit, Jerry Likes the Go-Juice, Into the Stein-iverse, The Whole Fucking Thing with the Mirror