Polyamory Weekly (Minx)

LustyGuy's wife and my metamour L shares her take on non-monogamy, jealousy and the secrets to non-monogamous relationship longevity. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

Chris Smith on polyamory and the Black American

0:00 Introduction and host chat

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:30 Poly in the News

A Yoplait ad campaign builds on the idea of polyamory

4:20 Interview: Chris Smith

Chris Smith is a PhD student at Howard University studying higher education and a relationship researcher focused on non-monogamy within the Black demographic.

Open to Love; Poly and the Black American

• People raise sex and put it on a pedestal. And that’s OK, but raise communication and flexibility to that same level.
• Polyamory as a possible method of strengthening Black economic power
• Medical Apartheid: The Dark History of Medical Experimentation on Black Americans from Colonial Times to the Present
• Blacks are already ostracized; it can be difficult to add polyamory to the mix. As a Black male, it’s already hard to fight the aggressive and overly sexualized stereotypes; polyamory can appear to reinforce those
• Link for the Black and poly survey Let’s get to 3,000!
• Black polyamorous anthology description and consent forms to participate email mrtenability@gmail.com
• Find Chris Smith on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter as MrTenability

35:50 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!  Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Considering polyamory? Nurse and counselor Kathy Labriola shares three basic poly relationship models to consider. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

Meet the creator and partial cast of Compersion, the new poly web series, who are not only awesome but fundraising for season two! Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

Four classic mistakes couples make when opening up their relationships and how to avoid them, all with our amazing guest, Marcia Baczynski Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

Is sexting cheating and the pyramid of cheating. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 206-202-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly, visit www.facebook.com/polyweekly or the blog at www.polyweekly.com

A chat with Stories from the Polycule anthology editor, author and expert witness Dr. Elisabeth Sheff. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

Episode 29 breaking up is hard to do

How does polyamory overlap with sex work? The lovely and talented Sabrina Morgan shares her insights.Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

Coming up on this week'sPolyamory Weekly: thoughts on luck in America, a listener's first frubble, poly cards in the offing? A taste of poly smut, facing monogamy, jealousy as a refrigerator, and a poly mission statement.

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Erotica? Email minx at cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-600-5677. Thanks for listening!

00-2:15 Introduction. updates
Introduction, under-18 warning and redirection to Scarleteen.com.

2:15-9:20 Comments: More on being lucky
5x5 comments on being "lucky" and points out preexisting socioeconomic conditions that make some folks less than lucky others to begin with, and Jason continues the discussion by giving a nod of credit to that train of thought and elaborates on his original letter.

9:20-9:50 Listener mail
JM writes in, so welcome to our new listeners from Violet Blue!

9:50-12:25 Listener mail:

R writes in about arguments, frubble and Spider Robinson
R says minx is the voice in the back of his head (!!); he shares the story of his first frubbly feeling; our official plug for Spider Robinson'sThe Callahan Chronicles.

12:25-14:00 Listener mail: "I hate you days"
Brent comments on having "I hate you days" and on how labelling these feelings helped his and L's relationship.

14:00-15:40 Listener mail: Secret Lover cards
Listener Randy wrote in to let us know that his friend C did write the company and request poly-friendly "Secret Lover" cards that were just as beautiful and passionate as the original collection!

15:40-16:55 Listener mail: Smut!
Brent recommends Morgan Hawkes' Victorious Star and Fallen Star, published through Loose ID, and Fortune's Star, a novella published in the anthology Hard Candy.

16:55-20:20 Sam provides poly erotica!
I read my favorite bit from Sam's submisison that is less about action and more about showing passion and bodily reaction.

20:20-21:00 Listener mail: label no more!

21:00-26:45 Listener mail: poly to monogamous transition
Listener A writes in to relate the judgmental attitudes she faced from family, lovers and community when she and her lover opted for a monogamous relationship after being poly. minx comments on tolerance in general and how to remain friends with those you feel are making a mistake.

26:45-29:30 Topic: graydancer and cunningminx's Mission Statement
During a long afternoon of painful relationship negotiation, Graydancer and minx brainstormed individual answers to the questions, "Why are you poly?" and "What do you get from being being poly?" and created their own mission statement for Graydancer and minx as a poly couple.(Our Mission Statements)

29:30-30:05 Topic: Mistresse Matisse gives us a grin
If you want to feel refreshed and validated and go "awww!", read this reposting of Mistresse Matisse of how she met and feel in love with her partner of six years.

30:05- Topic: Tacit's article on jealousy and refrigerators
Tacit's article on jealousy

Topic: On coming out
Props to Amy Gahran for opting to come out (in a polite, subtle way) as poly in her professional blog. What a great model for coming out in an honest but non-jingoistic way. Her personal/poly blog is here. Not prurient in the least, so if you're looking for smut, stay here or go to Open Source Sex.

Resource: smut
One podcast suggestion: Pizza Babe is here.

Like the intro/outro music? It's by a band called Pacemaker Jane out of Ohio. Go buy their stuff!

Loving half a couple after a triad implodes. A listener asks: how do I love only the wife after our triad implodes and her husband won't talk to me? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

Erich Viedge interviews French poly filmmaker Isa Lutine, a.k.a. Isabelle Broué, about her latest poly film.

0:00 Introduction and host chat

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:30 Intro and host chat

 Nurse, counselor and poly educator Kathy Labriola shares her poly holiday survival guide tips in a guest blog post.

2:45 Poly in the news

• Sudden abundance of black and poly web series and films
• Polyamory is one of the most popular relationship search terms of 2017
• You, me and polyamory: Inside Philadelphia’s growing nonmonogamous community featuring our own Kevin Patterson and Antoinette Crumby’s poly relationship! And their pastor’s response blog post was awesomely compassionate and loving.

11:00 Interview: Erich Viege interviews filmmaker Isa Lutine, a.k.a Isabelle Broué

Broué is the director of the 2004 film Tout le plaisir est pour moi — all the pleasure is for me — about a radio journalist who realises one day she’s lost her clitoris.

In 2016, She made a feature film about polyamory which won the Best Screenplay AND Best feature at the Vancouver women in Film festival in 2017. Her latest project is called Lutine le Film. You can find it at www.lutinelefilm.com and on Facebook Lutine le Film. Broué herself is on Facebook as Isa Lutine. (“Lutine” is the French word for elf or imp and broadly means something like “polyamorous person.”)

If you would like to arrange a screening, you can contact Broué through her website lutinelefilm.com

31:20 Happy Poly Moment

Angel shares the best possible outcome of coming out to a human resource person at work!

32:50 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write a review on Apple Podcasts!  Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Ben Shenker, a lawyer practicing in Maryland and D.C., answers your poly questions

0:00 Introduction and host chat

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:00 Announcements

• Take the Relations Decisions Lab survey and click Participants>Open Relationship survey if you are currently monogamous and looking to open up your relationship
• We’ll be at Southwest Love Fest next month!

3:15 Ask Benjamin Shenker, a poly lawyer

Listeners call and write in to ask:

• Besides an LLC, how can more than two people own property together? (LLC, partnership, corporation, trust or a tenancy in common)
• If my ex has remarried in a more traditional arrangement and my long-term poly partner is married (not to me), does that put me at risk of losing custody of my kids?
• Is claiming a second legal marriage the only way to be prosecuted for polygamy?
• What are some of the ways to get marriage benefits without being legally married?

Find him at polyamory.law or on Twitter at @polyamorylawyer or Facebook at Law Office of Benjamin Shenker.

NCSF is a resource if you need help with child custody issues.

31:00 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write a review on Apple Podcasts!  Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

The HSV blues--what having or not having HSV actually means and how to cope. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 206-202-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

Kathy Labriola, a poly counselor and nurse and author of Love in Abundance, offers her tips for communication within open relationships. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 206-202-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

Review of the wonderful Poly Living conference. Plus, a poly vagabond--interview with Jason Flores, a poly traveling musician. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or our Facebook page.

Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

Polyamory on TV: Charlie Sheen, Sister Wives reality show. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 206-202-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com

What is a "comet," and why are they valuable?

0:00 Introduction and host chat

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

Koe Creation cohosts

1:00 Announcements

Poly Dallas Millennium got a great write up in the Dallas Observer!

2:45 Poly in the News

Polish ethicist addresses polyamory—because his grandfather was poly

Poly comedian in the U.K. describes her polyamory as feminist and liberating

Koe mentions Sex at Dawn

7:30 Topic: let’s talk about poly comets!

A listener calls in to ask more about poly comets. Rough definition of a comet: An occasional lover who passes through one’s life semi-regularly, but without an expectation of continuity or a romantic relationship. For more poly terms, check out More Than Two’s excellent poly glossary.

Koe shares their ideas on long-term comets and short-term comets

18:45 Feedback

The chairperson of Poly Denmark writes in to let us know that poly is alive and well in Scandinavia and has been for over 10 years!

Polydan; includes e-mail list.

Polyamory.dk (note the interesting version of the infinity-heart logo).

23:15 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!  Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Poly Weekly live at CatalystCon West with special guests Reid Mihalko and Charlie Glickman! Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

How do I ask my wife about my setting up a joint bank account to pay for trysts with my sweetie, which involve weekly dinners and a hotel stay? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

How do polyamory and rope play intersect? An interview with Lee Harrington. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

Highlights from the best episodes of 2017

0:00 Introduction and host chat

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:15 Erich Viege presents a Poly Weekly year in review

• The author of original comic series Wonder Woman William Marston was in a polyamorous triad, and a movie based on his life was released in 2017. Episode 536
• Response to Mayim Bialik’s rant on polyamory
• Ethical Slut 20th anniversary update
• 43 episodes, 17 listener questions (approximately 1/3); cohosts Lusty Guy, Kevin Patterson, Koe Creation, Erich Viedge
• Minx and LG published No Dick Pics: How to Opimize Your Online Dating Profile
• Dan Savage was our biggest celebrity
• Also Pepper Mint, Kitty Chambliss, Cooper Beckett, Isabelle Broué, Dedeker Winston, Page Turner, and AggieSez
• And as we strove for inclusion, Poly Dallas Millennium organizer Ruby Bouie Johnson and Chris Smith, a doctoral student, about his paper called Open to Love; Poly and the Black American. Also Ignacio Rivera spoke on consensual sex education and Iris Muscarella on egalitarian solo poly.
• Then there was the New York Times piece (not) featuring Kevin Patterson
• And how to love someone who was abused (503) , how to love someone whom you love more than he loves you (506), and how to tell a partner no (514), can poly fix my husband—(no, you have to own your shit (523)

23:00 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!  Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Worried and her roommate are seeing the same long-distance dom, and her roommate started dating him and then put restrictions on Worried's time with him. Should they move in together?

0:00 Introduction and host chat

• If you’re under 18, visit scarleteen.com
• The surprising obstacles to polyamorous marriage

2:40 Lusty Guy’s polyamory and politics corner

Lusty Guy provides insights on expertise: what is it, when do you have it, and what to do in its absence. To start increasing your expertise on U.S. politics, LG’s suggests reading Howard Zinn’s A People’s History of the United States.

6:50 Topic: My dom’s girlfriend is domblocking me

Worried has a roommate, and they have both been playing with the same long-distance dom for two years. The roomie and the dom began dating, and the roomie began “putting restrictions” on the dom’s play with Worried. Worried thinks that the roomie is fabricating issues to enforce her girlfriend status. They are talking about moving in together.

• Don’t move in until this is resolved
• Why are you blaming the roommate instead of the person performing the unwanted actions, the dom?
• When you have a conversation with your roommate, go in seeking to understand and with vulnerability
• Claim your autonomy; it’s your choice whether to obey your roommate’s rules
• This smells like a relationship by crisis model in which whoever has the biggest crisis gets the most attention. So just ask your dom for what you want, regardless of crises. Ask for what you want!
• Are they a good roommate, outside of the dom issue? Can you easily share household chores or choose a restaurant for dinner?
• Put yourself first

18:35 Feedback

Welcome to our listeners in the US, Canada,  Germany, Australia, UK, Netherlands, Poland, and New Zealand. Shout out to that one person listening in Belize, Tunisia, Luxembourg, Ecuador, and Chile! 

19:15 Happy poly moment

• From S in Mexico on her family accepting her polyamory and her partner participating in her
• A COVID story from L!

22:45 Thank you to our subscribers and contributors

Welcome to our new PW Playmates, Ivo, Erin, Laurel, Monica, and Nathanael. Thanks to all our PW Playmates! Also to Pacemaker Jane for letting us use their song Good Suspicions as our intro and outro music and to you for listening and sharing.

23:00 Contact us

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com.

Join the conversation

To join the online conversation around this and other episodes, follow us on Twitter or Facebook. We love when you review us on Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcatcher (including Spotify!) and when you share us with your friends directly.

New research into poly families with sociologist Elisabeth Sheff. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 206-202-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or @cunningminx or visit www.polyweekly.com

Kevin Patterson and Ruby Bouie Johnson join the team to review that NYT Magazine article on open marriage from May 11.

0:00 Introduction and host chat

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:15 Topic: That New York Time Magazine article

In this unrepresentative 12,000 word article, New York Times Magazine chooses to show only dysfunctional poly couples and uses Kevin as The Token Black Guy.

This is their more representative follow up article

Kevin’s response post The Times Piece About Open Marriage Doesn’t Represent My Experience

Ruby’s response post What the New York Times Neglected to See

25:30 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!  Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Coming up on this week's special hour-long Polyamory Weekly: emotional journeying, psychic vampires, and radical ecstasy at Ohio Leather Fest. community cooperation (or lack thereof), more thoughts on poly vs swinging, relationship roles, arguments, and saying goodbye to your secret lover.

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Erotica? Email minx at cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-600-5677. Thanks for listening!

00-3:50 Introduction. updates
Introduction, under-18 warning and redirection to Scarleteen.com. Graydancer co-hosts as we are both silly and sleep-deprived after rushing back early from Ohio Leather Fest to attend to Genevieve in the hospital. Yes, she seems to be OK, although the doctors still don't know what brought on her attacks of tachycardia. And Graydancer tells of how a charge nurse jolted him from OLF head space into St. Anthony's hospital real space.

3:50 OLF recap: Dossie Easton's Emotional Journeying
OLF recap--Graydancer reviews Dossie Easton's seminar on Emotional Journeying. The Ethical Slut and Radical Ecstasy are mentioned, along with Jung and childhood issues.

6:45-13:00 OLF: Michelle Belanger's The Body Electric
We both discuss Michelle Belanger's amazing "The Body Electric" energy work seminar, in which graydancer experienced energy exchange as a dom, and minx was in the "splash zone," so her yoni got some energy action as well! And yes, she agreed to an interview, so stay tuned for a fascinating interview with this psychic vampire.

13:00-20:10 OLF: Janet Hardy's workshop review
First, her books: The Ethical Slut, Radical Ecstasy, The New Topping Book, The New Bottoming Book, and Kinkycrafts. Did we mention she's also the founder of The Greenery Press? Go buy these books there! Our seminar experience, with three-way energy flow, head space, green alien energy glow, and some radical ecstasy of our own.

20:10 Graydancer talks about how to become a better kinkster

21:00-28:05 Community clashes
We discuss Rick Mansfield's keynote address and listener mail: why can't the alternative communities just get along and pull together?

28:05-35:00 Listener mail: poly vs swinging
What is polysexual? Are our labels bringing us down and confusing us? Is it the in-betweeners of the poly and swinger communities that are giving both a bad name?

35:00-36:30 Listener mail: Sambear writes in to stroke the minx

36:30-43:15 Listener mail: Relationship roles
Vannevar Morgan writes in about choosing the roles in your relationship and a plea to hear more about how to argue through relationship-threatening issues; Graydancer and minx disagree about god vs. culture.

43:15-45:00 Listener mail: argument advice
Friendly neighborhood swingers write in again about using "I love you, but I don't like you very much right now" as a way to argue without fearing the loss of the relationship.

45:00- Weird shit: Secret Lover cards
The collection is a Secret Lover. Graydancer reads "So in Love" and minx reads "Goodbye." We recommend Kinky Cards if you're into BDSM or Naughty Cards.

50:45-end Plugs galore!
Upcoming interview with Michelle Belanger, Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy. Graydancer plugs his show, Rope Weekly, which he'll be promoting at the Open Heart, Open Mind conference in San Francisco in September.

Like the intro/outro music? It's by a band called Pacemaker Jane out of Ohio. Go buy their stuff!

Media Whoring panel at Sex 2.0 with Reid Mihalko, Veronica Monet, MayMay, Danielle Sipple and Jasen Bartlett. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, Twitter @polyweekly, call 206-202-POLY or visit www.polyweekly.com.

How to avoid polysaturation by saying "no" and taking care of yourself with cohost Koe Creation. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

How do you safely enter the kink community and find people to play with? Mollena Williams, co-author of Playing Well With Others, gives advice. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

How do you come to accept and embrace polyamory when it wasn't your idea? Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert, who are currently crowdfunding a new poly 101 book, give advice! Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

"Okay" is a four-letter word. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 206-202-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or Facebook at or our blog at www.polyweekly.com

Franklin Veaux joins the podcast to talk about his new autobiography, The Game Changer Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

Takeaways from dating a dishonest monogamist with Minx and LustyGuy. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

Breaking up is hard to do! How to cope with a poly breakup when losing a partner/metamour that you and your hubbie each feel differently about. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

What your secondary wants you to know. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

A listener asks if her new boyfriend is emotionally unavailable, will poly help?

0:00 Introduction and host chat

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

2:10 Poly in the news

• Unicorn hunting spreads as Vice gets it
• Four clear glasses frames that say “I haven’t tried polyamory, but I’ve watched Vice documentaries on it”
• Google Calendar is down, which means you can do anything you want, according to Twitter

7:50 Is poly a solution for emotionally unavailable partners?

A listener writes in to ask if polyamory is possible when her partner seems to be currently emotionally unavailable. Our listener  met a guy five months ago, when she was a newly-single mom not looking for commitment. They never talked about what their relationship was, but our listener knew she wanted something casual and honest. Then he planned an all-day romantic date, felt relationshippy, which followed up by not reading her text messages, which led her to feel insecure and question her own behavior. They talked, and he mentioned he didn’t want to replicate a previous codependent relationship, and things were fin for a while. Then polyamory came up in a dinner with friends, and he mentioned it might work if she was his primary, but he wasn’t involved with any others.

• Good for you for realizing both you and he have boundaries and needs that need to be considered
• Short answer is no, a relationship can't be healthy if both you and he are more concerned about enforcing boundaries than letting the relationship develop organically
• This falls into the "relationship broken; add more people" paradigm, which typically does not work out well
• This is a great opportunity for both of you to negotiate the relationship you each need. Ask for what you want (not to negatively affect your daughter but to still feel appreciated) and listen to what he wants (to have good quality time and lots of space). 
• Both of you should ask for specific behaviors--what specific things can he do make you feel appreciated? what specific things can you do to make sure he has "space"? 
• And one last thing--relationship conversations are best in person. Avoid having these discussions over text if at all possible.

15:30 Feedback

Laura from episode 588 When to give up on polyamory wrote in to give us a happy update, a year later!

19:30 Happy poly moment

• Laura ends up her feedback by sharing a generous happy poly moment on the part of her husband
• A poly newbie in Germany shares a happy poly moment about her partner and metamour providing a bathroom shelf and toothbrush for her!

24:00 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com.

Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write a review on Apple Podcasts!  Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Do families have to live together? My partners and I agreed to live together and have kids, but now I'm not so sure.

0:00 Introduction and host chat

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:15 Host chat

• We took a two-month break to figure out what this podcast will be moving forward. We’re excited about new guests and will be moving to a biweekly format.
• NCSF has declared February 28 National Metamour Day
• The Iron Realm podcast is an audio drama dungeon crawl RPG adventure.

5:45 Poly in the news

Is there such a thing as poly-dar? Do poly folks have certain recognizable traits?

8:00 Topic: Do families need to live together?

Lewis has a male partner and a woman partner, Sally, and the three of them have discussed living together as a family and fathering kids with Sally. However, Lewis says their communication has not been great and their relationship was pretty dysfunctional until recently. He also values his own space and privacy. Is it OK to father kids if you don’t intend to live together as a family?

• Good instinct to get counseling when the relationship isn’t already pretty healthy
• You decide what’s good for you, not what’s good for anyone else

17:30 Feedback

A listener calls in to ask how to find poly folks rural Pennsylvania.

22:45 Happy Poly Moment

• Danielle shares a snow day happy poly moment.
• Lusty Guy shares a surprise happy poly moment!

25:30 Thank you

Thanks to Shelly for the donation, and welcome Laurel and Terra to the Poly Weekly Playmates!

32:00 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com.

Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write a review on Apple Podcasts!  Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Laurie Ellington shares her insights on emotional intelligence. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

I have abandonment issues, but I don't know what I need when they come up. How do I ask my partners for what I need?

0:00 Introduction and host chat

• If you’re under 18, visit scarleteen.com
• Thanks to the Close In munch in Portland, Oregon!
• Poly for the Holidays contributions

1:55 Poly in the news

• November 23 was National Polyamory Day, and other poly holidays
• Discrimination in poly pregnancies

5:25 Contact us

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com.

5:55 Topic: Dealing with abandonment issues

Katie has abandonment issues and asks how to better cope with them when poly. She knows she has them but doesn’t know what to ask for when they arise.

• Knowing and identifying is half the battle.
• Explain to your partners what you shared with me—how it feels. Ask for their help with comfort might you need in the moment. Do the full analysis when you’re not in the midst of the issue.

17:15 Join the conversation

To join the online conversation around this and other episodes, follow us on Twitter or Facebook. We love when you review us on Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcatcher (including Spotify!) and when you share us with your friends directly.

17:30 Feedback

Joe writes in with additional advice to the listener in episode 567 on how to find poly community near you.

20:00 Thank you to our subscribers and contributors

Thanks to our new PW Playmate, Tom, for his subscription! Also to Pacemaker Jane for letting us use their song Good Suspicions as our intro and outro music and to you for listening and sharing.

What do you do when your partner dismisses your shit-owning?

0:00 Introduction and host chat

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:00 Announcements

We’ll be at Poly Dallas Millennium next month

1:20 Poly in the News

Wait for the second date to reveal you’re poly? From Savage Love

4:30 Topic: when owning your shit isn’t enough

Listener A writes in to ask when owning your shit isn’t enough—how about treating your partner with compassion and care. Sometimes, people use “own your shit” to mean “I don’t want to do the work that a healthy relationship requires.” Where is the line between owning your shit and being compassionate and caring for your partner?

Relationship Bill of Rights

12:45 Feedback

• A listener calls in to ask why women can have friendships with women but men can’t have friendships with men
• Queen of Sodomy calls in from Iceland to question if the poly folks should join the GLBTQIA community

20:15 Happy Poly Moment

Ivan called in with a HPM about kids meeting metamours

21:45 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!  Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Advice for poly newbies from Anita Wagner at Polycamp Northwest! Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 206-202-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit our Facebook page or blog.

Is the fight for legalization of poly marriage worth it? Why or why not? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY or leave a comment at the blog at www.polyweekly.com

Meagan is queer and married a cis man to fulfill family and societal expectations. She’s had mind-blowing sex with a new partner as is questioning her desire to stay in her marriage and be a wife. Meagan isn’t sure they can commit to the hierarchical poly their husband wants.

0:00 Introduction and host chat

• If you’re under 18, visit scarleteen.com
• Next episode will be from Hawaii

1:35 Lusty Guy’s Politics Corner

On the Palestine-Israeli conflict—it’s OK to admit you don’t know enough. Recommended reading, anyone?

3:40 Contact us

If you have questions, comments, or feedback call 802-505-POLY or email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an MP3 file with your questions. To book us or anything that involves a calendar, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com and copy polyweekly@gmail.com.

4:20 Topic: When do I call it quits on my marriage?

Meagan is queer and married a cis man to fulfill family and societal expectations. The past year (2019), her husband H and she moved to a new city and have been dating a lot. She’s had mind-blowing sex with a new partner as is questioning her desire to stay in her marriage and be a wife. Meagan isn’t sure they can commit to the hierarchical poly their husband wants.

• If you’re not sure who you are or what you want, focus on your most important relationship: the one you have with yourself. Take time to understand yourself, your needs, and your shame through counseling, journaling, meditation, or whatever method works for you.
• Uncharted territory can be seen as an opportunity.
• If you’re close to your mom, it’s likely that she will even accept your queerness and poly, in time.

14:10 Join the conversation

Join the community on Facebook at https://facebook.com/polyweekly  or Twitter at @polyweekly or @cunningminx, Instagram at cunning.minx or now on TikTok as @cunningminx.

14:35 Feedback

Yubi wrote in to object to our “date your species” advice and our reluctance to date poly newbies.

20:45 Happy poly moment

We hear from our old friend Greedy Paul about discovering a poly rideshare driver!

22:40 Thank you!

Thanks to new Poly Weekly Playmate Samuel!

Thanks to our Poly Weekly Playmates for your financial support! We also love when you review us on Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcatcher (including Spotify!) and when you share us with your friends directly. Thanks also to Pacemaker Jane for letting us use their song Good Suspicions as our intro and outro music and to you for listening and sharing.

Jenn Stauffer of Utah Poly shares her insights on the testing and transmission of four key STIs

0:00 Introduction and host chat

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:30 Announcements and host chat

I’ll be giving a talk on polyamory at Ignite Seattle on May 18. Keep an eye on the Poly Weekly Facebook page and Twitter account for the livestream if you’d like to watch remotely.

3:10 Topic:

Jenn Stauffer of Utah Poly shares the key takeaways from her RelateCon presentation on The Sensible Slut, a review of the transmission and testing methods of the top four STIs: chlamydia, HPV, HSV and HIV. Contact her via Utah Poly.

28:10 Feedback

Listener K writes in to talk about the newbie poly mistakes they made and to express gratitude at the educational materials PW provides so they don’t feel so alone!

30:05 Thanks

Thanks to our newest anonymous PW Playmate!

29:30 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!  Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Episode 35

Dealing with difficult people? It's not them; it IS you! Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 206-202-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

This week in poly: a three-way union in Brazil, the Republican guide to the female anatomy and a new solo poly blog. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

Raven Kaldera on Polyamory and Power Circuits--for the BDSM practitioner. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 206-202-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

Leanne is a bisexual, autistic, Asian poly polyamory educator, influencer, comedian, blogger, community mentor, and founder of Poly Philia, the largest page dedicated to non-monogamy education in the UK.

00:30 Introduction and host chat

If you’re under 18, visit scarleteen.com

00:40 Poly in the news

Leanne was on the British version of Fox News talking about polyamory, and she ran circles around the host!

3:00 Lusty Guy’s Politics Corner

A white cis man’s view on abortion. Our big mistake is loading abortion with value and framing it as a women’s issue. It’s an issue of civil rights and bodily autonomy for all of us.

08:40 Contact us

If you have questions, comments, or feedback call 802-505-POLY or email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an MP3 file with your questions. To book us or anything that involves a calendar, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com and copy polyweekly@gmail.com.

09:30 Interview: Leanne, PolyPhilia

Leanne is a polyamory educator, influencer, comedian, blogger, community mentor, and founder of Poly Philia, the largest page dedicated to non-monogamy education in the UK. She created the #PolyamoryTipoftheDay series, and has narrated several polyamory audiobooks. Her polyamory advocacy is influenced by her experiences as a bisexual, autistic, Chinese woman.

• Her poly origin story
• Why she started the PolyPhilia blog
• How to meme (Minx asks for a tutorial!)
• On being Asian and poly
• On being autistic and poly (her own experience only)
• How the hell do I use TikTok?

She offers peer support to non-monogamous individuals and couples worldwide, polyamory merch, Ko-Fi (like Patreon) with exclusive content for supporters, and narrates audiobooks about polyamory. All her links in one place.

Her blog is here, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok channels.  

41:45 Join the conversation

Join the community on Facebook at https://facebook.com/polyweekly  or Twitter at @polyweekly or @cunningminx, Instagram at cunning.minx or now on TikTok as @cunningminx.

42:10 Feedback

Thanks to David for writing in with such nice compliments, including “Your show has been nothing but truly enlightening to me.”

43:30 Happy poly moment

Lusty Guy shares his own happy poly moment!

Thank you!

Thanks to our Poly Weekly Playmates for your financial support! We also love when you review us on Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcatcher (including Spotify!) and when you share us with your friends directly. Thanks also to Pacemaker Jane for letting us use their song Good Suspicions as our intro and outro music and to you for listening and sharing.

OMG girl sex 101 with Allison Moon Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

Erich Viedge interviews Chris Deaton about polyamory and BDSM

0:00 Introduction and host chat

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:15 Announcements

• We'll be at Southwest Love Festin Tucson, AZ April 7-9
• And we'll be at RelateCon in Boise, ID April 27-29

2:00 Poly in the news

The tabloids are loving poly story packages

6:30 Interview: Chris Deaton on hierarchy and power dynamics in polyamory

Our South African correspondent Erich Viedge interviews researcher Chris Deaton on hierarchy and power dynamics in polyamory. He is doing a survey on how power exchange in BDSM poly relationships are reflected in poly relationships that might otherwise be egalitarian.

279 Polyamory and BDSM with Raven Kalera

538 Coming out to your kids with Casey Blake

28:00 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!  Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

How does a girl successfully and safely explore her bisexual side when in an existing heterosexual relationship? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

Joseph Pred shares the Consent Framework, a tool for community organizers to get and enforce consent at events.

0:00 Introduction and host chat

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:15 Host chat

• Did you enjoy February 28 National Metamour Day?
• We’ll be speaking at It’s Complicated in Tulsa, OK, April 6th

2:30 Poly in the news

• There’s a dark side of polyamory that nobody talks about
• Seven polyamory myths it’s time to stop believing
• Polyamory on the rise on NPR!

11:30 Interview: consent framework with Joseph Pred

• Download the consent frameworks
• Email address: consentframework@gmail.com
• Website: consentframework.org
• Twitter: @consentframewrk
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/consentframework/

32:45 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com.

Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write a review on Apple Podcasts!  Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Moving out without moving on: how to change living arrangements while preserving the relationship. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

The Supreme Court dissenters mention the slippery slope towards poly marriage as an argument against marriage equality. So is plural marriage next? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

Jealousy and courage with Franklin Veaux. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 206-202-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly, visit www.facebook.com/polyweekly or visit the blog at www.polyweekly.com

How being kinky prepared me to be poly with Lily Lloyd. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

The proposed law in California that might make it possible for a child to have more than two legal parents. Also, movie reviews of Savages, a poly-friendly film. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 206-202-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

Poly and Single: Poly Dating 101, presented at the Poly Living Seattle conference on October 23, 2010.

Kevin Patterson and Alana Phelan, coauthors of For Hire: Operator and the soon-to-be-released For Hire: Audition, talk about why they write a queer poly superhero universe.

0:00 Introduction and host chat

Thanks to Anita Wagner for introducing me to the term “petamour”

1:30 Poly in the news

Vice has a great new article about poly families and poly parenting

3:05 Contact us

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com.

3:35 Interview: Kevin Patterson and Alana Phelan on writing inclusive fiction

Kevin Patterson and Alana Phelan join us to talk about their next soon-to-be-released queer superhero book, For Hire: Audition. You may remember their last interview with us on episode 563 around For Hire: Operator or Kevin’s interview around his book, Love’s Not Color Blind.

• Harlequin is putting out a queer line of romance novels. Submit using Harlequin’s Romance Includes You mentorship (scroll down the page) runs until October 15, 2019.
• The Broken Earth Triology by N. K. Jenisin
• If It Makes You Happy by Claire Kann
• Find Kevin A. Patterson on his website, Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Find Alana Phelan on her website, Twitter, or Facebook.
• For Hire Audition’s IndieGoGo
• Gail Simone’s Twitter

26:30 Join the conversation

To join the online conversation around this and other episodes, follow us on Twitter or Facebook. We love when you review us on Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcatcher (including Spotify!) and when you share us with your friends directly.

27:00 Thank you to our subscribers and contributors

Thanks to Pacemaker Jane for letting us use their song Good Suspicions as our intro and outro music and to you for listening and sharing.

Minx and LustyGuy give advice to a listener whose money and big dick often make his metamours jealous. What's a well-hung guy to do? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 206-202-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

Replacing the awful terms "primary" and "secondary," with special cohost Steve Eley, formerly of Escape Pod. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, Twitter @polyweekly, visit our Facebook page or leave a comment at the blog.

Can people with Asperger's be poly? Does polyamory help Aspy's folks? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

A discussion of diversity within the poly community with Brandon, Rompas and Koe. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

Are hierarchies getting a bad rap? What's so bad about calling someone "secondary"?Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

How do you date someone whose marriage is falling apart? The PW team and listeners give advice. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY or leave a comment at the show blog at www.polyweekly.com Like this episode? Tweet us!

Help! I've started a poly meetup, but now there is drama in the group! Advice on playing well with others as a group founder/leader from Allena Gabosch, Director of the CSPC. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 206-202-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or Our Facebook Page

Where does a red-blooded, beer-drinking, football-watching, lawn-mowing guy go to meet the poly girl next door? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 206-202-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

How to experience and nurture compersion in your relationships

0:00 Introduction and host chat

• If you’re under 18, visit scarleteen.com
• The Book of the Kiss is a fantasy romance sourcebook designed to be system-agnostic. Poly Weekly listeners can get half off the cover price here.
• Love is Polytical was a conference in Berlin last weekend.

3:50 Lusty Guy’s polyamory and politics corner

Both sides are not the same. If what you are looking for deep, systemic reform to systems, yeah, they are similar. But with 300,000 new cases of COVID in the U.S., the response would have been different with a Democrat in office. If you’re a woman seeking an abortion, an economist, a climatologist, or a trans person, you can see the difference.

8:45 Contact us

If you have questions, comments, or feedback call 802-505-POLY or email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an MP3 file with your questions. To book us or anything that involves a calendar, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com.

9:00 Topic: How do I develop compersion?

If you don’t feel compersion, how do you develop the capacity to experience it.

• Compersion is the non-sexual joy you feel in seeing joy in others. It’s empathy, and you likely experience it all the time. If you’ve ever been happy for a friend at their wedding or joyful that your kid won their soccer game, you’ve felt compersion.
• Start noticing and naming the compersion you feel already. If insecurity or jealousy are blocking you from feeling it in your poly relationships, try some of our jealousy/insecurity exercises, such as Discuss, Distract, Do and And Then What.
• Consider compersion a muscle that you can exercise. Practice it mentally. For example, try experiencing feeling empathy/compersion when your metamour wins a video game.

16:12 Join the conversation

Join the community on Facebook at https://facebook.com/polyweekly  or Twitter at @polyweekly or @cunningminx, Instagram at cunning.minx or now on TikTok as @cunningminx.

16:30 Feedback

• A listener in Vancouver, Canada calls in to support Lusty Guy’s politics corner
• David Wheeler provides an audio review of the Smart Girl’s Guide to Polyamory

19:15 Happy poly moment

• S shares a story of her metamour saving their life
• R finds strength and courage to pursue polyamory

23:45 Thank you to our subscribers and contributors

Thanks to our Poly Weekly Playmates for your financial support! We also love when you review us on Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcatcher (including Spotify!) and when you share us with your friends directly. Thanks also to Pacemaker Jane for letting us use their song Good Suspicions as our intro and outro music and to you for listening and sharing.

Help! Compersion squicks me! Does it mean I'm jealous if hearing about my husband's dates disgusts me?

0:00 Introduction and host chat

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

Today’s cohost is Lusty Guy

1:30 Announcements and host chat

New Dutch bank bunq commercial specifically targets polys!

5:15 Topic: help! Compersion squicks me!

Lauren has been married to her husband for 24 years and non-monogamous (mostly swinging) for 12. Five years ago, she discovered he had cheated, and they worked through it. Now they date separately. And while he loves hearing what she does on her dates, but Lauren is grossed out even thinking about what he does on his dates.

15:30 Feedback

Matthew writes in to say he tried the And then what? exercise to deal with jealousy/fear/insecurity but didn’t think he learned anything from it.

21:45 Happy poly moment

A listener writes in with a happy poly moment of her triad going really well, metamours and all!

25:00 Thanks

Welcome to Susan and Rachel, our newest Poly Weekly playmate subscribers!

25:45 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!  Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

The power of introverts and orgasms at the gym. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 206-202-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

Emily Blake and Gabriel Figueroa share their goal with their new animated sex ed series, Welcome to Kinkyville. Support their Kickstarter here!

00:30 Introduction and host chat

• If you’re under 18, visit scarleteen.com
• The empathy gap and why it’s hard to predict your behavior in a hot state when you’re in a cold state. Related to our idea of “experience shock.” Hidden Brain podcast The Empathy Gap
• A group at Harvard Law School, PLAC (Polyamory Legal Advocacy Coalition, which is an initialism), is working on legal protections for poly folks. The Harvard Law article.

08:16 Lusty Guy’s Politics Corner: is it legal to require vaccines?

This issue was settled definitely by the Supreme Court in 1905 with Jacobson V Massachusetts.

13:19 Contact us

If you have questions, comments, or feedback call 802-505-POLY or email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an MP3 file with your questions. To book us or anything that involves a calendar, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com and copy polyweekly@gmail.com.

14:15 Topic: Welcome to Kinkyville

We interview Gabriel Figueroa and Emily Blake about their new animated sex-ed series, Welcome to Kinkyville.

Emily and is a polyamorous switch and screenwriter who over the last three years has been developing Welcome To Kinkyville. She has been on more than one list of writers with great potential who almost sold a screenplay.  She's a script supervisor, an obsessive Dungeons and Dragons player, and a geek fashion designer. But mostly, she's on a crusade to rid the world of sexual shame and abuse brought on by years of oppressive societal conditioning. She is on Twitter a LOT.

Gabriel is was born and raised in Puerto Rico. He now lives in Hollywood where he is a professional trailer editor who's created commercials for Hollywood studios, streaming platforms and independent productions. He uses Twitter to raise awareness about polyamory and kink. Above all, he is known for his serious collection of hats and BDSM accoutrements.

Back their Kickstarter campaign, check out the Kinkyville Facebook page, their Kinkyville’s Twitter, the Kinkyville’s Instagram, their YouTube, and Emily’s Twitter account.

30:10 Join the conversation

Join the community on Facebook at https://facebook.com/polyweekly  or Twitter at @polyweekly or @cunningminx, Instagram at cunning.minx or now on TikTok as @cunningminx.

30:20 Feedback

The guy from episode 432 writes in with an update!

31:12 Happy poly moment

S shares an NRE happy poly moment.

32:20 Thank you!

Thanks to our Poly Weekly Playmates for your financial support! We also love when you review us on Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcatcher (including Spotify!) and when you share us with your friends directly. Thanks also to Pacemaker Jane for letting us use their song Good Suspicions as our intro and outro music and to you for listening and sharing.

How do we practice poly responsibly during a pandemic? Is it OK to move my metamour in with me rather than not see her for the duration of enforced social isolation?

0:00 Introduction and host chat

• If you’re under 18, visit scarleteen.com
• Found a new poly podcast, Pod Pod Cvlt Cast, with 34 long episodes!
• We’ve got a new puppy to keep us company during #stayathome!

3:00 Poly in the news

• Elisabeth Sheff’s four-part series on monogamy in Psychology Today: CNM is not a good choice as a method to fix a relationship that is broken, Four tips for heteroflexible couples who are considering opening their relationships, Three reasons why consensual non-monogamy will not work for people who are monogamous, and her latest, Monogamy by Orientation.
• Alan’s Friday Poly in the news roundup, covering primarily the coronavirus pandemic.
  • How coronavirus is impacting polyamorous relationships
  • How a polyamory expert is dating during the coronavirus pandemic
  • What it’s like to isolate with your girlfriend and her other boyfriend
  • Is it irresponsible to date around during a pandemic
• Minx’s advice
  • Use Zoom or Amazon Chime to host a virtual dance party or cocktail hour to stay connected
  • Use your webcam to see facial expressions
  • Try watching movies “together” over Zoom. Or send dinner to them and Zoom each other to chat during!

10:45 Contact us

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com.

11:25 Topic: should we move my metamour in with us while we socially isolate?

If you’re considering cohabitation that you wouldn’t have considered due to coronavirus social isolation requirements, some advice:

• As always, make sure your existing relationships are relatively healthy first.
• Ask everyone involved what they need to be happy and healthy in a communal space. Consider personal space, alone time, sexual, and physical needs.
• Discuss how finances will work in terms of rent, groceries, and other bills.
• Discuss expectations for chores and other responsibilities.
• Ask your kids how they feel about your metamour moving in.
• Have the pets been introduced? Is there a danger that they might attack each other?
• Set up regular check-ins after the move-in. These provide opportunities to bring up what it working well, what isn’t, to express gratitude and appreciations, and to bring up issues before they become bigger.
• Take a break from news coverage if it increases anxiety or feelings of depression.

17:00 Join the conversation

To join the online conversation around this and other episodes, follow us on Twitter or Facebook. We love when you review us on Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcatcher (including Spotify!) and when you share us with your friends directly.

17: 05 Feedback

• S from the Boston area calls in to share a personal neologism, “schmeeling.”
• Phenom calls in to ask how to get her partner to date more and make sure everything is OK. She keeps encouraging him to date, but he’s not getting out as much as her.
  • There is no issue here except that maybe you feel guilty. Deal with your own guilt and stop pressuring him to date!

24:45 Pervy bird throuple

Oops! Accidentally skipped this one: Perverted Illinois bald eagle threesome threatens sanctity of marriage. What’s next, hawk orgies?

26:00 Happy poly moment

Finding unexpected commonalities with your metamour!

28:45 Thank you to our subscribers and contributors

Thanks to all our PW Playmates! Also to Pacemaker Jane for letting us use their song Good Suspicions as our intro and outro music and to you for listening and sharing.

Poly in America for the month of love. 1:00 host chat - 4:20 Topic: what it means to be poly in America around Valentine's Day 2012 and current news stories citing nonmonogamy - 22:10 Feedback with a correction from Musqurat and a self-identity piece from Fred.

Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 206-202-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

Koe, our second generation poly cohost, shares thoughts on the myth of poly perfection. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

If our relationship is healthy, and I want more sex and to explore my bisexuality, will poly work for us?

0:00 Introduction and host chat

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

• What’s been going on with Minx, why we went on an unexpected hiatus (physical therapy for osteoarthritis).
• We’re leaving for a 10-day vacation in Paris!
• And we’ll be in Hawaii in January

9:30 Can poly work for a sexual mismatch?

Bryan is a bisexual man in Germany who loves his healthy relationship with his girlfriend of four years, except for one thing—he wants sex daily; she wants sex once a month. Can poly work for their sexual mismatch of their otherwise healthy relationship?

• Yes, it can, if your relationship is otherwise healthy.
• Unless what you really want is not more sex but more sex with your girlfriend--that won’t work.
• Keep aware that even if you say you just want sex and no love/relationship—life doesn’t work like that.
• Consider sex workers if you really just want more sex with no danger of anyone falling in love with anyone else. German FKK clubs are wonderful.
• If you decide sex workers aren’t for you, take some time to discuss what you’re afraid of. Explore these discussions over time and while you’re in different moods, over weeks or even months.
• Do your research, find more books to read. Find your community.

22:30 Happy Poly Moment

R shares a cookie-baking happy poly moment.

25:30 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com.

Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write a review on Apple Podcasts!  Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Why have a commitment ceremony, and what does it mean to us? Minx and LustyGuy share the motivation behind their commitment ceremony as well as the ceremony itself. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

The modern poly movement and new poly events with Jessica Karels. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 206-202-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly, enage on Facebook or visit www.polyweekly.com

Bawdy songstress Rachel Lark tells how she went from angsty love songs to wildly popular naughty songs for Bawdy storytelling. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

Poly by orientation vs poly by situation--do both work? Can you choose to be poly to deal with a relationship issue? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 206-202-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit the blog (and show notes) at www.polyweekly.com

Listener Shanna calls in to ask if her willingness to be poly will help them get past her husband's cheating.

0:00 Introduction and host chat

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:00 Announcements

• Minx and LustyGuy will be at Poly Dallas Millennium next month
• Koe is coaching; hire them at koecreation.com or email koecreation@gmail.com
• And teaching The Great Wide World of Nonmonogamy at the Armory in San Francisco on August 31. Get tickets here. And they are also working on their memoir as a second-generation poly person!

4:30 Poly in the News

Wait for the second date to reveal you’re poly? From Savage Love

5:15 Topic: will poly fix his cheating?

Listener Shanna calls in to say that her husband has cheated and she is open to polyamory. How do they move past the cheating and improve their relationship together?

22:40 Feedback

We learn the term “parrot gliding”!

23:45 Happy Poly Moment

Marie shared a happy poly moment in Swedish!

How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!  Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Ever wonder about those poly folks in their 60s, 70s and 80s? Join the original poly geezer Ken Haslam to talk about polyamory over 60! Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

Joreth and Pepper interview Polina about being poly and a teenager. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 206-202-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com

Matt Bullen and Terisa Greenan (Family the web series) share their own experiences with parenting in a poly situation and their thoughts of explaining poly to kids in an age-appropriate way. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 206-202-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly, Like us on Facebook or visit www.polyweekly.com.

Kevin Patterson and Alana Phelan have come out with a new superhero novel in which queerness, polyamory, and people of color are normalized.

0:00 Introduction and host chat

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:00 Host chat and announcements

Poly Big Fun, an annual workshop and retreat for people who identify as polyamorous, will take place virtually on November 10th, 2018. Franklin Veaux will be presenting “My abuser is Woke: Recognizing abuse when an abuser is skilled in the language of social justice.” Joreth Innkeeper will be presenting “Breaking up in the poly community.” Visit www.polybigfun.com to register and find out more.

3:00 Interview: a poly superhero fiction work

Kevin Patterson and Alana Phelan give us a taste of their new book, a superhero novel in centered on queer, poly people of color. Finally, a love triangle in which the existence of the triangle isn’t the source of conflict! In this world, “operators” are the dirtier, heroes-for-hire in a world where law-abiding superheroes get all the press. What happens when a superhero and an operator are in a relationship?

Release is October 12, 2018 on Amazon; release party is October 24 at 6:00 in Philadelphia at Amalgam Comics and Coffee House. Alana is The Polyamorous Librarian online, on Facebook, and Patreon. Find Kevin as Poly Role Models on Tumblr, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Patreon.

Follow For Hire on Facebook and Twitter.

27:30 Thanks

Thanks to Miryam for becoming our latest PW Playmate!

27:45 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com.

Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write a review on Apple Podcasts!  Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Negotiating from a "no." Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

Meet Goody Howard, sex positive superhero!

0:00 Introduction and host chat

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:00 Host Chat

Poly Dallas Millennium was eye-opening!

2:45 Poly in the News

• In Australia, TV news coverage of women fired for being poly
• Satire: experts warn this Seattle poly relationship could expand to cover all of Seattle!

9:17 Interview: Goody Howard, Sex Positive Superhero

We do a poly profile of Goody Howard, Sex Positive Superhero, whom we met at Poly Dallas Millennium. An intimacy consultant and a sex educator who loves to host toy parties and teach classes on oral sex, her superpower is helping people to be comfortable discussing intimacy, sexuality and their own wants and needs.

• To support her trip to the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit next week, go to PayPal and send your donation to askgoody@gmail.com
• Women of Color Sexual Health Network
• Her favorite thing to do is to teach oral sex classes, currently available as Lick! Sexy Summer Series 2017 in the Dallas area.

And Goody kindly agreed to give me feedback on what went wrong with my keynote address at PDM. How can I (and others) be more inclusive?

1. Rather than giving voice to the voiceless, pass the mic. Give the opportunity to speak directly to the POC rather than speaking for them.
2. Call in versus call out. “Call in” is to address an incident of privilege or implicit bias privately. A “call out” is addressing the incident publicly, in front of others.
3. Educate yourself. On micro-aggressions and on how systematic racism works so you can recognize when it’s happening.

Find her on Facebook, Instagram, SnapChat, (still looking for her vanity URL on YouTube, so subscribe to her YouTube channel so she can!), and her site is http://www.askgoody.com/.

41:15 Thank you!

Chris donated $69.96 to celebrate the wife and girlfriend going on their first date!

42:00 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!  Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

This week, an episode of the reality show Wife Swap aired, featuring a polyamorous family swapping with gun- and bible-toting tea baggers. Who comes off better? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

Polyamory can be expensive! Koe and Minx share tips on how to live and date on a budget. 

Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

Is he not that into me or is this how secondaries are treated? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

Cohosts Joreth, Franklin and Puck cover the Yes Means Yes movement. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 206-202-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

How to feel special when you're not the only romantic partner in a poly relationship. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

Testing the poly waters with a long-time friend who is also monogamous. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

Post-MomentumCon recap and a look at the "what would monogamists do" guiding question.Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 206-202-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

Q&A with Janet Hardy at As You Like It in Eugene, Oregon. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

What is OK in poly? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 206-202-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly, visit www.polyweekly.com or Facebook at www.facebook.com/polyweekly