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Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment (Beth Hillman | Parent Coach for Parents of Struggling Teens)

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DateTitreDurée
24 Aug 2022Trailer - Welcome to Parenting Post-wilderness00:02:16

Welcome to Parenting Post-wilderness!

This podcast is your guide to parenting a struggling teen, whether they’re home, transitioning home, or presently in treatment.

Parents, say goodbye to exhausting confusion, overwhelm and panic and the unhelpful patterns that keep you stuck. Learn how to develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. Experience the relationship-changing power of focusing on your own behavior instead of futile attempts to control your teen.

Listen in to discover how parents like you have learned to influence equanimity in the home and rebuild connections with the teens they love.

We're officially launching on September 6th 2022, so stay tuned!

Connect with Beth on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or find more information about working with Beth on her website www.bethhillmancoaching.com

13 Sep 202201. Parents, You Are Not Alone00:13:55

Do you feel like you’ve failed your struggling teen? You feel like you’re the only one, no one could possibly understand, and no one is able to help. Yeah, I’ve been there. And so have many, many other parents. 

And you know what? I was wrong. They were wrong. And so are you.

In today’s episode, I don’t only tell you WHY we’re all wrong when we think no one can help but I’m also walking you through the mindset shift I made that changed everything. For me, for my struggling teen, and for our family. Tune in and have a listen!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.


13 Sep 202202. We Start With Us: The Role Parents Play in Their Teen’s Struggle00:22:19

Your teen is struggling, showing maladaptive behaviors. Family dynamics are off. You’ve been trying to get them to change but nothing is working. But is that really the way to go? 

In this episode of Parenting Post-Wilderness, Seth and I are introducing the idea and mindset that change really does begin with us, parents. I’m sharing my own story of how I blamed my son for everything. It wasn’t until we brought him to wilderness that I began to learn and understand my part in this. And I know many other parents feel the same way.

Tune in to learn more about the role we as parents play in our teen’s struggles and the family dynamics in our house.

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.


13 Sep 202203. Stressful Situations: Driving in a Car With Your Struggling Teen00:12:16

We all do it frequently but it can be one of the most stressful situations. Yep, we’re talking about driving in a car with your struggling teen. 

Whether it’s because you as a parent feel stressed, your struggling teen is showing maladaptive behaviors, or a specifically stressful situation occurs, when things get heated while driving, it can feel like you have no way out. In the heat of the moment, your brain might tell you otherwise, but I’m here to tell you that you have options. Let’s discuss them in today’s episode!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

20 Sep 202204. Mom Amy on the Ineffectiveness of Interviewing Our Teens for Pain [Parent Interview]00:21:29

Today, we’re interviewing Amy, who’s sharing her experiences as a mom who sent her teen to wilderness therapy. 

Amy’s son started out as a happy, bubbly kid but when he reached puberty, he started getting more moody and depressed. Things took a turn for the worse and he started using video games as a coping mechanism. Slowly, she saw her bright son become withdrawn and miserable to be with. 

In this first part of the interview with Amy, we’re honing in on their home situation before wilderness, the things they tried to help their teen at home, the pressure on their marriage, and how they eventually decided wilderness therapy would be their best option. 

I know Amy’s story will resonate with many parents out there, so tune in and have a listen!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

27 Sep 202205. Mom Amy on a Parent’s Journey Through Wilderness [Parent Interview]00:38:45

What does the journey through Wilderness Therapy look like from the parent’s perspective? In this second part of our interview with parent Amy, we discuss the ins and outs of Wilderness Therapy: before, during, and after. 

How did Amy and her husband decide which program would be best for their son? What did the process look like of actually getting him to the Wilderness program? What was this process like for Amy as the parent? What was the hardest part? And what happened after Wilderness was over? 

Amy’s openheartedly sharing her experiences with you in today’s episode. Tune in and have a listen!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

04 Oct 202206. Separating Thoughts From Facts: The Stories Parents Tell Themselves00:17:53

Let’s talk about something we ALL do but should stop immediately. I’m talking about creating worst-case scenario stories in our heads that get us spiraling into unhelpful thoughts, feelings, and actions instead of staying with the facts.

In this week’s episode, we’ll talk about the difference between circumstances (facts) and stories (thoughts); the power of thoughts, why our brain makes up stories, the reason why the stories we tell ourselves are unhelpful, and of course how to start separating thoughts from facts.

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

11 Oct 202207. Understanding School Refusal: Why Your Teen Doesn’t Want to Go to School00:15:34

Is your teen refusing to go to school? Or maybe they refuse to make their homework? Today, we’re diving deep into the why behind school refusal and the emotions driving this behavior so we as parents can begin to understand where this behavior of refusing school is coming from and how to deal with it. 

You see, school refusal has everything to do with emotions. It’s our nervous system’s way to avoid uncomfortable feelings and keep us safe. So how do we deal with this situation as parents? 

We’ll talk about the emotions driving the behavior of school refusal, why our bodies react in defense when uncomfortable feelings come up, why uncomfortable feelings aren’t bad, the steps we as parents need to take to deal with our teen’s school refusal, how parents can act from a place of understanding instead of judgment and the questions to ask our teens to get more understanding of the driving emotions behind their school refusal.

Have a listen and let me know your thoughts!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.


18 Oct 202208. Parent Interview: Bringing Your Kid Home Directly From Wilderness With Sandi and Don00:25:39

It was just hell on earth. That’s how Sandi describes their home situation before she and her husband Don sent their son to wilderness.

This episode is for you if you are researching options to help your struggling teen, considering wilderness for your kid, or if your kid is currently in wilderness.

In this parent interview with Sandi and Don, we discuss:

  • What it felt like sending their son to wilderness;
  • The fears they felt regarding wilderness;
  • What it was like when their son was away;
  • Their experiences with wilderness and whether they feel like wilderness delivered on what it said it was going to go;
  • When they first realized they had work to do themselves as parents;
  • How they made the decision to bring their son home straight from wilderness;
  • What it was like when their son came home with a whole new skill set that they hadn’t learned yet themselves.

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

25 Oct 202209. Parent Interview: Finding Mutually Beneficial Boundaries With Sandi and Don00:24:40

We’re back with the second part of the parent interview with Sandi and Don, parents of a post-wilderness teen. If you haven’t listened to the first part of my interview with Sandi and Don, go check out the previous episode first. 

Sandi and Don decided to bring their son directly home from wilderness and today we discuss what happened once their son was back home. We talk about:

  • What was it like once their son returned home from wilderness?;
  • The reason behind old behaviours returning;
  • Their process of finding mutually beneficial boundaries;
  • Emotional consequensing;
  • Viewing hard times as time of growth;
  • What advice they would give their pre-wilderness self.

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any future episodes!

01 Nov 202210. How to Feel Your Feelings to Increase Your Bandwidth With Seth Gottlieb00:18:50

How do you take space for yourself to process everything life throws at you when you feel depleted and your bucket is empty? That’s what I’m talking about today with Seth Gottlieb. 

Life happens. Varying from regular life stressors to having children or loved ones making really tough choices. It can leave us feeling thinned out and those tend to be the moments we act from a place of reaction instead of taking the time to process. Even though taking this time to feel our feelings is exactly what is most helpful.

In this episode on feeling your feelings to increase your bandwidth, we discuss:

  • How to increase your bandwidth;
  • What taking time can look like;
  • What you need to become aware of to increase your bandwidth;
  • Learning how to feel and allow your feelings;
  • Finding out how YOU can replenish;
  • Honoring feelings during busy times;
  • And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

08 Nov 202211. Taking Accountability for Our Part With Seth Gottlieb00:36:16

As parents, we tend to think we know what’s best for our teens. And guess what? Our teens think in the same way. “If my parents would only do xyz…” In the moment, blaming someone else feels easier than taking responsibility. It’s human but it isn’t helpful.

We want to make the shift from being reactive to being responsive. In today’s episode, Seth and I share small, actionable steps you can take to start taking accountability for your own part.

In this episode on taking accountability for our own part, we discuss:

  • What is your part as a parent and what is not?;
  • How can we stop blaming the other person and start taking responsibility for our own part?;
  • Beth’s experiences from the parent's perspective and Seth’s experiences from the teen’s perspective;
  • Step-by-step on how to start taking accountability for your part (in a conflict);
  • Red flags to watch out for;
  • And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

15 Nov 202212. Getting Out of Enmeshment & Power Struggles00:26:37

Enmeshment is a term to describe a relationship between two or more people in which personal boundaries are permeable and unclear. Getting out of an enmeshment pattern is all about taking responsibility for your own part. But let’s be real, that’s not easy. That’s because your brain is in defense mode. It’s trying to protect you by blaming the other because it does not want to do the work itself.

We want to start holding our boundaries. But how do we get there? In today’s episode, I’ll dive deep into the 4-step plan to get out of a pattern of enmeshment and power struggles and start holding your boundaries.

In this episode on getting out of enmeshment and power struggles, we discuss:

  • What is enmeshment?
  • A personal example of my enmeshment pattern
  • 4 steps to get out of a pattern of enmeshment and power struggles and start holding your boundaries
  • Taking responsibility for your own part

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

22 Nov 202213. Mom Amy on Discovering Her Own Enmeshment Patterns and Taking Accountabiliy for Her Part [Parent Interview]00:26:45

Today, I’m interviewing a single mom named Amy whose daughter suffered from depressive thoughts, anxiety, self-harm, and suicidal ideation. After trying several interventions at home like anti-depressants and PHP (Partial Hospitalization Program), Amy decided to send her just 15-year-old daughter to wilderness, followed by several treatment programs. 

Amy talks about how she discovered her emotionally enmeshed pattern with her daughter and how she learned to step back from being an emotionally helicopter parent. Listen closely to the interesting realization Amy had that it’s the family system as a whole that needed to shift, not just her daughter.

In this parent interview, we discuss:

  • Amy’s experiences of trying out other things before deciding on wilderness;
  • Her struggles as a mom trying to figure out what to do and how to do it;
  • What Amy’s enmeshment patterns looked like;
  • Helicopter parenting;
  • Amy’s struggles throughout the transition when her daughter came home from wilderness.
  • Getting to the place of acceptance;
  • How Amy can create stillness within herself;
  • And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

29 Nov 202214. Mom Amy on Building Trust and Listening to Your Intuition as a Parent [Parent Interview]00:35:08

The process and struggle doesn’t just stop after wilderness. In this second part of my interview with single parent Amy, we talk about the journey she and her daughter went through after wilderness. Their journey was full of ups and downs and looking back, Amy wishes she had made some different choices. 

In this parent interview we discuss:

  • How Amy coped with the ups and downs;
  • The various treatment programs Amy’s daughter went through after wilderness;
  • Dealing with the what-ifs;
  • What Amy has learned through all of this;
  • Being an emotionally consistent parent;
  • Building trust;
  • And much more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

06 Dec 202215. STOP the ‘I Feel’ Statements With Seth Gottlieb00:31:31

So many well-intentioned therapists and people in the therapeutic industry suggest using ‘I feel’ statements to parents and families. What I see though, is that they’re not working. I want to shout from the rooftops: STOP THE ‘I FEEL’ STATEMENTS! But during my conversation with Seth, I realized it’s not about using them but it’s about the way we use them. So how are we currently misusing ‘I feel’ statements and how and when can we use them in an appropriate and effective way? That’s what we discuss in today’s episode!

In this episode on ‘I-feel’ statements we discuss:

  • How are ‘I feel’ statements being misused?;
  • The benefits of ‘I feel’ statements for kids and teens;
  • Things to take into account when using ‘I feel’ statements as a parent;
  • Pitfalls around ‘I feel’ statements;
  • Conclusion: should we use ‘I feel’ statements or not?
  • And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

20 Dec 202217. Mom Rebecca on Sending Her Young Daughter to Wilderness [Parent Interview]00:40:35

We’re back with another parent interview in which Rebecca shares her story of sending her young daughter to wilderness. Rebecca openheartedly shares how her daughter showed out-of-bound behavior throughout her entire life, even when she was a baby. Things eventually took a turn for the worse and Rebecca and her husband decided to send their daughter to wilderness. 

In this episode parent interview, we discuss:

  • Rebecca’s experiences in sending her young daughter to wilderness;
  • Learning to unenmesh with your teen;
  • Becoming your own person while still showing up in your parent role;
  • How consistent boundaries help facilitate healthy relationships with our children;
  • The effects on siblings;
  • And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

13 Dec 202216. Self-Betrayal: Ignoring Our Inner Knowing With Seth Gottlieb00:38:11

Do you ever feel in your gut that you should or shouldn’t do something, but you then take the opposite route? You ignore your inner knowing, overthink, look for justifications and betray yourself.

Even though we are instinctual beings, we live in a society that teaches us that we’re not. And it takes practice to start listening to our instincts again and to build the skill of listening to our own inner knowing. 

In this episode on self-betrayal, we discuss:

  • What does self-betrayal mean?;
  • Ignoring our inner knowing;
  • Examples out of our own lives;
  • Coming up with justifications;
  • Seeking external validation;
  • Taking on the role of the victim;
  • And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

27 Dec 202218. Mom Rebecca on Choosing Love and Boundaries Over Fear and Punishment [Parent Interview]00:29:37

Parent Rebecca is back to talk about what it was like bringing her daughter home directly from wilderness. What did it feel like? What were some of the conflicts in the first few weeks of her being home? At this moment, her daughter has been home for 1.5 years. It’s safe to say it has been a bumpy road. But what is it like now?’

In this episode parent interview, we discuss:

  • What the first couple of weeks after wilderness were like;
  • Cellphone use after wilderness;
  • The commitment of taking your kid home directly after wilderness;
  • Holding boundaries;
  • The ‘shoulds’ of parenting;
  • Challenges within the system;
  • And much more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

03 Jan 202319. Parents’ Agenda vs. Child’s Personal Journey With Seth Gottlieb00:32:41

As parents, we often have a good idea of what we want for our children and what we think is best for them. On the other hand, we have the child, who wants to walk their own journey and make their own decisions. It’s a tricky and nuanced topic and I can’t wait for you to hear my conversation with Seth about it. 

In this episode on parents’ agenda vs. child’s personal journey we discuss:

  • What makes this conflict so hard;
  • The parents’ and child’s perspectives;
  • The conflict it brings to the child, knowing the parents mean well and are coming from a place of love;
  • Strategies to release pressure off of the child;
  • Real-life examples and tips;
  • And much more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

10 Jan 202320. Mom Casie on Her Son’s Substance Abuse and the Effects on His Siblings and Family Dynamics [Parent Interview]00:44:56

Going through life struggling with ADHD, Casie's son developed a core feeling of worthlessness. As a coping strategy, he turned to drugs, started running away from home, and even attempted suicide.

“It took wilderness to get him to the point where he cared that he lived”  - Casie Fariello


We’re so grateful to have Casie Fariello, parent of three and owner and founder of Other Parents Like Me (OPLM.com), on the podcast today to share her story and experiences around her son’s addiction and his journey to wilderness. She also opens up about her lack of self-care, the effect her son’s behavior had on his siblings, and how she and her husband made sure they could get through this together, as a team.


In this parent interview, we discuss:

  • Her son’s history of ADHD, leading up to his drug addiction;
  • The difficulty of navigating the difference between her children;
  • Family dynamics and the role the siblings played in this journey;
  • What’s going on in the brain of an addict;
  • How they got their son to wilderness;
  • Creative ways they were able to pay for wilderness;
  • Casie’s personal journey as a parent: what was she going through and what did she feel?;
  • Taking care of her marriage during this difficult time;
  • How her son now feels about wilderness;
  • And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.


And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!


And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

17 Jan 202321. Mom Casie on Transitioning Her Child Home After Boarding School & Online Parent Support Group OPLM.com [Parent Interview]00:36:24

Today, we’re continuing our conversation with Casie Fariello & we dive deeper into her son’s experience of going to wilderness and how he looks back at it now. Both Casie’s son and Seth agree that it’s not a black-and-white experience.

After going through the process of wilderness, boarding school and eventually transitioning her son home, Casie founded a peer-led, online support group for parents of children struggling with mental health and/or substances: OPLM.com.

In this parent interview, we discuss:

  • Diving deeper into her son’s experience of going to wilderness;
  • Seth’s experiences of how wilderness finally made him feel safe;
  • Suicidal ideation;
  • Self-worth;
  • Working on yourself as a parent;
  • Online parent support group OPLM.com;
  • And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

24 Jan 202322. What Is Wilderness Therapy? [Wilderness Series #1]00:40:21

A podcast series specifically going over all the ins and outs of wilderness therapy - How does that sound!? I decided to answer all of the questions parents have around wilderness in a special series here on the Parenting Post-Wilderness podcast and share thoughts, ideas and information about wilderness specifically. It’s been around for decades and has received both negative and positive attention. Seth and I are going to shed some light on the ins and outs of wilderness from our experiences and perspectives in the hope of supporting and informing.

In this first episode of the series, we’re going to go over:

  • The objectives of wilderness therapy;
  • A general overview & info of what it is and what it’s not;
  • Different kinds of wilderness programs & how they differ from each other;
  • Parent programs;
  • Some surprisingly natural consequences a teen may find throughout their experience;
  • And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

31 Jan 202323. How to Know When It’s Time to Send Your Teen to Wilderness? [Wilderness Series #2]00:34:16

Welcome back to the Wilderness Series! In this second episode, we’re discussing the factors that might indicate that it’s time to send your teen to wilderness. How do you know it’s the right time? Making the decision to send your teen to wilderness can be a very difficult one and even though we can’t tell you exactly when is the best time, in this episode we aim to help you make the best decision for you and your teen.

In this second episode of the wilderness series, we discuss:

  • The decision to send your teen to wilderness;
  • Red flags & maladaptive behaviors to look out for in your teen;
  • Parent red flags in behavior and feelings;
  • And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

07 Feb 202324. A Teen's Perspective - Listen Up!00:35:28

Listen up, parents! Today we’re hearing from a teen who’s been through it all and she’s sharing such amazing insights!

Evan shares her story leading up to wilderness and how wilderness helped her change her life and gain self-worth. We also discuss her relapse and how the support systems and everything she learned helped her out again. Curious to hear her advice to parents? Or how’s she’s doing now? Let’s jump into the episode!

In this teen interview, we discuss:

  • Amazing pieces of advice given by her as a teen to parents; 
  • The life-changing things she’s learned in therapy that she would never have learned otherwise;
  • When did the shift happen to wanting to change and wanting help?;
  • How wilderness helped her work on her sense of self-worth;
  • Her perspective on her parents’ growth; 
  • And so much more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

14 Feb 202325. The Fears and Concerns Around Sending Your Teen to Wilderness [Wilderness Series #3]00:45:17

When you’re considering wilderness for your teen, undoubtedly a lot of fears and concerns will come up. 

What if wilderness will only make things worse?
What if my child will never forgive me?
What will people think?
And so on…

It is so normal to think these thoughts and feel these fears! Today, we will walk you through these and other common concerns and what you can actually do with them.

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

21 Feb 202326. How to Actually Get Your Teen to Wilderness [Wilderness Series #4]00:38:05

So, you’ve made the decision you want to send your teen to wilderness. Now what?

In this 4th episode in our wilderness series, we’ll walk you through your options for actually getting your teen to wilderness. Because even though you might not feel like you have a choice right now, there really are options. Generally speaking, your two options are to (1) force your child to go, or (2) give them a choice to go. We’ll walk you through the pros and cons of each of them and in what situations one option might be better than the other. 

In this episode on how to get your teen to wilderness, we discuss:

  • The options you have in getting your teen to wilderness;
  • The pros and cons of each choice;
  • Taking ownership of your decision to send your teen to wilderness;
  • Your teen’s feelings about wilderness and transport are valid;
  • How to guide the conversation with your teen about going to wilderness;
  • And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

28 Feb 202327. Transport Options and Other Education Consultant Advice From Gabriela Deambrosio00:42:51

If last week’s episode on how to get your teen to wilderness left you with a few more questions on the topic, you’re in luck! The next two episodes, I’m joined by Education Consultant Gabriela Deambrosio to talk about everything transport and the role of Education Consultants.

In this episode on transport options and education consultants, we discuss:

  • The role of an Education Consultant & what they can help with;
  • When would a family hire an Education Consultant?;
  • What does working with an Education Consultant look like?;
  • Including your teen in the decision of going to wilderness;
  • Beth’s story on getting her son to wilderness;
  • And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

07 Mar 202328. More on Transport & Harmful Language Like "Gooning" With Gabriela Deambrosio00:33:27

There’s so much to say about transport, so let’s continue our conversation with Gabriela Deambrosio! We talk about everything you need to know about transportation to wilderness and what things to consider. You might be surprised by my own story about my son’s transport to wilderness.

In the second part of the episode, we talk about the power of language and how the language many people use around transportation and the therapeutic field affects people’s view on it.

In this episode on transportation to wilderness and the language we use around it, we discuss:

  • What you need to know about transport to wilderness;
  • What to consider when it comes to transportation;
  • Misconceptions about transport to wilderness;
  • Beth’s story of their transportation choices to get their son to wilderness;
  • Do your research before choosing a transportation company;
  • Encouraging parents to know what language to use with their teens;
  • Including siblings in the conversation to enhance understanding;
  • And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

14 Mar 202329. What to Expect (And Not Expect) From Wilderness [Wilderness Series #5]00:30:20

Expectations can be tricky, and so also when it comes to wilderness. To avoid going in with the wrong expectations as much as possible, we’re going to share with you today what wilderness is and what it is not so you can have realistic expectations before deciding whether or not it is the best option for your family.

Wilderness is not for everyone but it can be the reset your teen and family needs in life. Tune in to today’s episode to hear all our thoughts about what wilderness is and is not so you can make sure you step into it with the right expectations.


If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.


And remember parents, the change begins with us.


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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!


And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

21 Mar 202330. How to Find The Best Program For Your Family [Wilderness Series #6]00:41:31

You’ve decided wilderness will be the best next step for your family to take. But there are so many programs out there and every family has their own, unique needs. You’re gonna want to find the right fit. 


In this episode, we’ll walk you through the best ways and places to gather information about specific wilderness programs so you can find the best fit for your family. And if you’re unsure what questions to ask, we’ve got you covered!


In this episode on finding the best program for your family, we discuss:

  • The best places to gather information and experiences about specific programs;
  • The right person to speak to when you want more information;
  • How an education consultant can help you;
  • Questions you should be asking your education consultant or the program you’re interested in;
  • The role of a field guide & field director;
  • And more!


If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.


And remember parents, the change begins with us.


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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!


And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

28 Mar 202331. What You, as a Parent, Can Work on While Your Child Is in Therapy [Wilderness #7]00:26:15

Even though the things that are happening and the behavior your child is showing aren’t your fault, you do have a role to play in it. And if your child comes back from wilderness into the exact same environment and you haven’t worked on anything while they were away, your family will most likely be back where you were before wilderness in no-time.


So what can you work on while your child is in wilderness or any other therapy program? And how do you go about this? That’s exactly what we’ll be talking about in today’s episode!


In this episode on what parents can work on while their child is in therapy, we cover:

  • What to look for in wilderness programs when it comes to parent support;
  • Realizing what you have control over and doing your work on that;
  • Questions to ask yourself;
  • The difference between roles and relationships;
  • Working on how you want to show up as a parent and who you want to be in that relationship;
  • Both parents getting on the same page; 
  • And more!


If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.


And remember parents, the change begins with us.


- - - - - - - - - -


Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!


And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!


04 Apr 202332. Parent Interview: Trish on Influencing Her Young-Adult Son to Choose Wilderness for Himself00:27:10

Today’s parent, Trish, got her severely depressed and suicidal, young-adult son to choose to go to wilderness. We hear her journey of offering wilderness to her just 18-year-old son and what got him to go. She openheartedly shares her relief when he was there, her experience when he ran away, and the disappointment she felt after wilderness.


Trish is full of great advice for parents and I’m super excited to share it all with you! 


In this parent interview, we discuss:

  • Her son’s challenges and her own;
  • How her son got to wilderness;
  • Where his son’s hesitancy to get help came from;
  • The support Trish felt she got from the wilderness program;
  • Incredible advice for parents;
  • What it was like when her son came home from wilderness;
  • And more!


If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.


And remember parents, the change begins with us.


- - - - - - - - - -


Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!


And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

11 Apr 202333. Parent Interview: Trish on The One Agreement That Changed Everything00:23:41

Parent Trish is back to share her experiences when her severely depressed and suicidal young-adult son came back from wilderness. It didn’t take long for things to go downhill and her son to become suicidal again. As a family, they decided on one agreement that works for them and that changed everything. This agreement is sending a very powerful message to her son and reflects exactly what Trish has learned along the way. Tune in to find out more!


In this parent interview, we discuss:

  • Trish’s experiences when her son came back from wilderness;
  • What her son decided to do after wilderness;
  • How he became suicidal again;
  • The challenging situations after wilderness;
  • The one agreement they have in their family now;
  • The powerful underlying message this agreement sends to her son;
  • And more!


If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.


And remember parents, the change begins with us.


- - - - - - - - - -


Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!


And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

18 Apr 202334. Options to Consider After Wilderness Therapy [Wilderness #8]00:33:51

Have you already thought about what’s going to happen once wilderness is over? It’s a tough decision that every wilderness parent is faced with. It might feel overwhelming or you might even feel like you don’t have any options at all. But I want you to know that you do have options to choose from! 


This episode will help you make the best decision for your teen and your family!


In this episode on options to consider after wilderness therapy, we discuss:

  • Many different options to consider for your teen and family after wilderness;
  • A brief explanation of each option and who this might be best for;
  • The differences between Residential treatment centers & Therapeutic boarding schools;
  • Why your family’s therapist can not be the same as your teen’s therapist;
  • Questions to ask yourself to come to the right decision for your family;
  • And more!


As promised in the episode, here are the questions to ask yourself to decide whether to bring your teen directly home from wilderness or have them go to a Residential Treatment Centre (RTC) or a Therapeutic Boarding School (TBS):

  • What do I most want for my child? (big picture)
  • Who and where can they best provide this for my child?
  • If my child will come home at some point, would I like it to be now or later?
  • What socialization is going to be potentially missed in regards to family/school/developmental dynamic when they stay in an RTC or TBS?
  • Is my child safe at home? (physically and emotionally)
  • Do I want to be involved in my child’s decisions, feelings, behaviors, outcomes, goals, failures, and successes on a daily basis or more like a weekly basis? What level can I show up at?
  • Am I willing to experience the good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful, the hard and the easy, every hour of every day?
  • If there are ups and downs, which experience do I want our family to have?
  • If there were no right or wrong decision, which would I choose?
  • How or what do I need to change in myself to support my child in the best way possible and am I willing to do that?


If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.


And remember parents, the change begins with us.


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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!


And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

25 Apr 202335. Transitioning Your Child Home After Wilderness or Treatment [Wilderness #9]00:43:56

We’re rounding up our Wilderness series with this episode on transitioning your child home after wilderness or other treatment. Don’t forget parents, wilderness (or treatment) is not a one-stop-fix for anything. Once your child comes home, a new chapter of your family’s journey begins. 


In this episode on transitioning your child home from wilderness, we discuss:

  • Beth’s story of transitioning her son home;
  • The reasons why Beth and her family decided to bring her son directly home from wilderness;
  • Things we would do differently;
  • The honeymoon phase and what it looks like; 
  • Moving towards healthier patterns in your family;
  • Building your support team;
  • Using a transition company;
  • Having a home agreement;
  • And more!


If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.


And remember parents, the change begins with us.


- - - - - - - - - -


Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!


And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

02 May 202336. Doing Your Own Work as a Parent While Your Kid Is in Treatment & Finding the Right Therapist With Laura Goldstein, LMFT00:20:34

If you’re familiar with my work or have listened to my podcast before, you know how I strive to help parents see their own part and take responsibility for it. Today I’m having such a valuable conversation around this with my guest, Laura Goldstein, LMFT. She shares some amazing metaphors that will really help shift the way we think and show us the role parents play in their family’s dynamics and their child’s behavior.


Laura also provides us with a very clear explanation of different kinds of therapists out there to help you choose which one is best for your family.


In this episode on doing your own work and finding the right therapist, we discuss: 

  • The difference between a psychologist and a psychiatrist;
  • An explanation of the difference between an LMFT, LCSW, etc.;
  • Great metaphors to show the role parents play in the family dynamics and their child’s behavior;
  • And more!


If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.


And remember parents, the change begins with us.


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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!


And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

- - - - - - - - - -

More about Laura Goldstein

Laura Goldstein is a licensed clinical marriage and family therapist in Rockville MD. She is the founder and Executive Director of Montgomery County Counseling Center and the founder of TheraCourses, which she will talk more about in next week’s episode! She has worked across multiple settings including in-home behavioral health services, IOPS for adolescent dual diagnosis treatment and young adults struggling to launch, and her private practice. 



09 May 202337. Preventative Measures: How to Parent a Struggling Teen Before Things Get Out of Hand With Laura Goldstein, LMFT00:41:51

Implementing parenting tools as preventative measures, even before things get out of hand, is absolutely invaluable when it comes to parenting a struggling teen. Changing the environment, being able to regulate your own emotions differently, being able to relate to your kid’s emotions and reason with your kid differently, are all skills that can be learned. 


Today’s guest, Laura Goldstein, has developed an incredibly valuable resource for parents to learn these tools which they can employ not only for their kids but also for themselves. With the development of TheraCourses, Laura made these skills available for parents from anywhere.


In this episode on preventative measures, we discuss:

  • The importance of implementing parenting strategies as preventative measures, before things get out of hand;
  • Why it’s so important to put what you learn into practice;
  • Learning new parenting skills and tools is a muscle that can be trained;
  • How TheraCourses helps parents learn new parenting skills and implement them right away;
  • Modeling the behavior you wish to see;
  • And more!


If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.


And remember parents, the change begins with us.


- - - - - - - - - -


Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!


And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!


—--------

More about Laura Goldstein

Laura Goldstein is a licensed clinical marriage and family therapist in Rockville MD. She is the founder and Executive Director of Montgomery County Counseling Center and the founder of TheraCourses, which she will talk more about in next week’s episode! She has worked across multiple settings including in-home behavioral health services, IOPS for adolescent dual diagnosis treatment and young adults struggling to launch, and her private practice. 


You can learn more about Laura here or about TheraCourses by clicking here.


16 May 202338. Therapeutic Burnout in Teens and Parents00:38:28

Today, we’re talking about burnout, and more specifically, therapeutic burnout in both parents and teens. Not many people realize therapeutic burnout is a thing so let’s have a look at what it is and where it comes from.

In this episode on therapeutic burnout in parents and teens, we discuss:

  • Seth’s experiences with therapeutic burnout;
  • What therapeutic burnout looks like from the outside;
  • The negative mindset of always needing to be progressing forward;
  • What therapeutic burnout is like for a teen; 
  • What burnout looks like for parents and how it arises;
  • The main mindset you need to have as a parent to avoid burning out;
  • And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

23 May 202339. The Pause - A Space Created To Feel Instead of React00:21:17

Feelings can be described as a vibration we experience in our bodies. Often we think that those feelings are involuntary and caused by life circumstances out of our control. But actually, our feelings are caused by what we think. And the good thing about this is that we can control our thoughts pretty well! 

The pause is a space we can create in order to feel our feelings BEFORE we react to them. A space of allowance and acceptance of those feelings. A space to take ownership of what happens in our brain and body before we interact with another human being. 

I tell you all about it in today’s episode!

In this episode on learning to feel instead of react, we discuss:

  • How our thoughts create our feelings;
  • And how our feelings motivate actions;
  • What ‘the pause’ is and how it can help us stop being so reactive;
  • Getting curious about our teen’s behavior;
  • And much more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

30 May 202340. Empowering Teens Through Online Education With Anjilee Ferguson & Sara Busalacchi, Co-founders of Mountain Point Academy00:39:04

Is it time for your kid to go back to high school after treatment? Maybe the transition back to school will run flawlessly. For many families though, returning back to regular high school isn’t the preferred option. Or possibly it’s simply not working. Online education might be an excellent solution!

Today, I’m interviewing Anjilee and Sara, co-founders of Mountain Point Academy, an online school for grades 6-12 that likes to do things a bit differently. Their personalized approach can offer your teen the support and freedom they need in their education after treatment.


Online education is absolutely worth looking into for everyone who doesn’t fit the traditional mold. Have a listen to today’s episode to learn more about online education and Mountain Point Academy!


More about today’s guests:
Anjilee Ferguson and Sara Busalacchi have over a decade of experience in online learning, working in the field since its inception. They have a passion for helping students succeed which led them to co-found Mountain Point Academy, an online school for grades 6-12. Their mission is to help provide students with a personalized approach to online learning, with 1:1 support for students to find joy in learning and citizenship.   


You can find more information on Mountain Point Academy on their website, Facebook page, Instagram (@mtnpointacademy), or Linkedin page.

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If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.


And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!


And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

06 Jun 202341. Wilderness and Sobriety Anniversaries - A Time to Contemplate or Celebrate?00:32:02

If your teen is coming up to their sobriety anniversary, or even their anniversary of going to or coming home from wilderness, you might feel the need to celebrate. But should we indeed celebrate during those anniversaries or does your teen need something else instead?


With his own 5-year sobriety anniversary coming up, Seth shared his perspective with me: his sobriety anniversary doesn’t feel like a time for celebration at all. Tune in to hear why!


In this episode on sobriety and wilderness anniversaries, we discuss:

  • Why your teen might not feel like celebrating their sobriety or treatment anniversary;
  • The thoughts and feelings that come up for Seth around his sobriety anniversary;
  • Putting expectations on your teen that they might not want to have in their life;
  • Different ways people are motivated and how Seth used this to his advantage to stay sober for 5 years and counting;
  • And much more!


If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.


And remember parents, the change begins with us.


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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!


And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

13 Jun 202342. What if I Don’t Like My Teen Right Now? - Creating Healthy Thoughts About Your Teen00:38:43

Every one of us has about 80.000 thoughts each day. Most of our life is created with our minds. And the more we have a specific thought, the more it tends to become a belief. So, what if you’re having negative thoughts about your teen? What if thoughts like ‘I just really don’t like my kid right now’ or ‘I can hardly stand my kid right now’ have crossed your mind? Believe me when I say, you’re not alone. Besides, these are actually very natural thoughts to have in any kind of relationship.

In this episode on creating healthy thoughts, we discuss:

  • Where our thoughts come from;
  • Do our thoughts define who we are?;
  • The most important lesson I have learned about my thoughts;
  • Changing your thought patterns about your teen;
  • How our thoughts create our feelings;
  • And much more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!


And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

20 Jun 202343. From ‘the Younger Sibling’ to Wilderness Guide With Mark Adamski00:34:07

Being the sibling of a teen that’s struggling and goes to treatment isn’t easy. Mark Adamski, who is now a wilderness guide himself, experienced this first-hand. In today’s episode, he shares his experiences when his brother went to treatment for substance abuse and how this eventually led Mark to become a wilderness guide.

Mark is sharing his story of becoming a wilderness guide and shares some golden nuggets we need in order to understand our teen. Have a listen!

In this episode on going from being the younger sibling to wilderness guide, we discuss:

  • The driving factors behind Mark becoming a wilderness guide;
  • His experiences as ‘the younger sibling’;
  • Understanding our teen’s brain to de-escalate;
  • How the people around us influence us.

You can connect with Mark on Facebook: Mark Adamski Coaching, or learn more about Wilderness Reboot on their website.

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

27 Jun 202344. Modeling Self-Regulation & More Advice From a Wilderness Guide With Mark Adamski00:36:46

What advice would a wilderness guide give us parents? That’s a question we’ll get answered today. Mark Adamski is back with invaluable advice about parenting and our relationship with our teens. 

With the right mindset, anything in a relationship can be fixed. That’s how Mark sees it and I couldn’t agree more. So what does this mindset entail? What do we need to do as parents to heal our relationship with our struggling teen? Have a listen to today’s episode to hear all of Mark’s top tips!

In this episode full of advice from a wilderness guide, we discuss:

  • Changing our mindset to fix our relationship with our teen;
  • Building the skill of modeling self-regulation;
  • The foundation of changing the home environment;
  • How ‘the pause’ can help us respond instead of react;
  • Being curious instead of holding on to expectations about your teen’s behavior;
  • The benefits of wilderness;
  • And more!

You can connect with Mark on Facebook: Mark Adamski Coaching or learn more about Wilderness Reboot on their website.

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

04 Jul 202345. From Overwhelm to Action: Empowering (ADHD) Teens, And Ourselves, With Bite-Size Steps - With Seth Gottlieb00:35:51

How often do you wake up and your mind starts racing about all the things you have to do that day, leaving you paralyzed? How many times do you start thinking of everything that needs to be done this week, leaving you feeling overwhelmed and exhausted?

When tasks or to-do lists seem long and overwhelming, it can become hard to accomplish even the smallest tasks. This is the case for all of us, and maybe even more for those of us with ADHD. 

Today, we share a very simple but often overlooked strategy to conquer overwhelm: breaking our day into bite-sized pieces. It’s a very simple concept but there is more to it. In today’s episode, we take a deep-dive into why this concept works, different strategies to implement it, how we can motivate our teens to do it, and much more!

In this episode on conquering overwhelm, we discuss:

  • Breaking your day or tasks into bite-sized pieces;
  • Different strategies to implement this concept for ourselves and our teens;
  • How can we motivate our teenagers to break up their day?;
  • Looking beyond the behavior: stressors at school;
  • The importance of listening and validating;
  • And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

11 Jul 202346. Regulating a Dysregulated Child With Wilderness Therapist Les Harris00:31:21

Today, I’m joined by Les Harris, a wilderness therapist and LCW to talk about the things we can do as parents before thinking of sending our kids to wilderness. Here’s one thing both Les and I know to be true:

A regulated parent has the ability to regulate a dysregulated child.

Isn’t that what we all want to be able to do?

If this feels unattainable for you right now, know that it’s not. You can see this episode as a first stepping stone toward the parent you want to be.

In this episode on regulating a dysregulated child, we discuss:

  • Labeling & diagnosing our teens;
  • Things we can do in our homes before thinking about wilderness;
  • Regulating your own emotions in response to your child’s behavior;
  • How we sometimes send inconsistent messages to our kids;
  • Tips on how parents can regulate their emotions;
  • Why parents nowadays are more distracted and unavailable;
  • As parents we make mistakes, and that’s okay.

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

18 Jul 202347. The Power of Listening to Our Kids' Feedback With Les Harris00:41:11

I’m continuing my conversation with Les Harris, wilderness therapist and LCW, who has some incredible insights to share about the importance of listening to the feedback our children give us.

Let’s start with an important reminder: none of us are perfect. We all mess up from time to time, and that's totally okay. 

Now, here's a game-changer: listening to our kids' feedback. By truly hearing them out and understanding their underlying message, we can better meet their emotional, physical, and relational needs. This deepens the trust and connection between us, setting the stage for beautiful growth.

In this episode on listening to our kids’ feedback, we discuss:

  • Beating ourselves up over mistakes we made as a parent and the effect this has on our parenting;
  • Parenting from a place of action instead of reaction;
  • The power of truly listening to our kids’ feedback;
  • Embracing and validating our kids' wilderness experiences
  • The magic of small steps for big change
  • And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

25 Jul 202348. The Benefits of Setting Healthy Boundaries for Parents & Teens00:32:01

Are you having trouble setting healthy boundaries with your teen and actually sticking to them? 

If you are, you’re not alone! It’s one of the topics I get the most questions on, and I used to be the worst at it myself! 

But I can tell you this: Setting boundaries and following through with the consequences is in the best interest of your whole family. 

Setting boundaries is one of my favorite topics to talk about so you can expect more episodes on this topic in the upcoming weeks. But let’s be honest, the concept of setting boundaries is simple, but it’s not easy. So before we dive deeper into how to actually do this, it’s important to understand why it’s so beneficial for ourselves, our teens, and really our entire family to have healthy and clear boundaries in place that we are consistent with. 

Let’s dive in, shall we?

In this episode on the benefits of boundaries for parents and teens, we discuss:

  • The message we convey when we don’t clearly communicate boundaries;
  • The effect it has on our teen & family when we’re inconsistent in following through with consequences;
  • Why it’s important to have clear boundaries and consequences in place and follow through on them;
  • How we ourselves, our teen, and our whole family benefit from clear boundaries and consistency in following through with the consequences;
  • Creating an emotionally safe environment by being consistent;
  • And much more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

01 Aug 202349. Common Pitfalls in Setting Boundaries & How to Do It Right00:22:44

Many parents confuse setting boundaries with requests or expectations but they are not the same. The way you phrase your boundaries and present them to your teen is incredibly important. Let’s learn more about these common pitfalls in setting boundaries in today’s episode!

In this episode on common pitfalls in setting boundaries, we discuss:

  • Understanding the difference between boundaries, requests and expectations;
  • Recognizing when it’s not a boundary issue;
  • Common pitfalls when it comes to setting boundaries and sticking with them;
  • Ways to bypass these pitfalls;
  • The outcomes for parents and teens who practice healthy boundary setting;
  • Common, unhelpful thoughts we have as parents;
  • Helpful thoughts that can help you set healthy boundaries and consequences and follow through;
  • And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

08 Aug 202350. Intentionally Enjoying Life Even Though Things Are Hard00:37:43

Some people think that being a parent coach means I have it all figured out. Hah! I’ll tell you about a situation that happened just last week that will show you how untrue this is!

Even though I’m a coach, and Seth’s a mentor, we’re not done. We’re still a work in progress. And we always will be. But by being intentional, and realizing the growth we’ve been through, we can learn to find joy, even in hard moments.

Life gets hard sometimes, and breaking the cycle of old habits and patterns isn’t easy. Hah, I noticed it myself just last week! (I’ll tell you all about it in the episode) I know you’re putting in all the hard work and are trying to help your family. And then sometimes, hard times arrive and life is difficult and overwhelming, leading to frustration. Why aren’t things going well for you? You’re trying so hard! 

Oh, I’ve been there. So has Seth. And so has every other parent on this journey. It’s completely normal. And you know what? You now have the insights to know you can take a step back and realize this is just a hard moment that will pass. Let’s learn more about this in today’s episode!

In this episode on intentionally enjoying life even though things are hard, we discuss:

  • Accepting that life is hard sometimes;
  • The importance of living a balanced life;
  • Setting intentions around connection;
  • Breaking the cycle of old patterns and habits;
  • Enjoying life even though things are hard

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

15 Aug 202351. Setting the Stage to Create a Parent Home Plan That Works!00:24:23

Let’s get into action parents! Today we’re talking all about setting the stage to create a parent home plan that actually works! 

If there is one takeaway from this episode, it’s this: Boundaries are not a way to control your teen. They’re a way to control yourself. They’re a way to take up your role as a parent and lead.

The change begins with us, parents. This is it. Doing our work first, getting to a loving, healthy space so we can create loving and effective boundaries for our kids (& ourselves). 

Ready to dive in?

In this episode on setting the stage to create a Paren Home Plan that works, we talk about: 

  • What will a Parent Home Plan help you with?;
  • Helpful thoughts in creating a Parent Home Plan;
  • Your role as a parent;
  • How do you know your home plan is working?
  • And much more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

22 Aug 202352. Same-Page Parenting: Getting on the Same Page About Boundaries and More!00:19:42

Moments of disagreement are perfectly normal when there are more than one person involved in raising a (struggling) teen. One parent wants to implement a certain boundary, while the other doesn’t. One parent wants to be more strict, while the other prefers a looser approach. 

Today, I want to propose some ideas to you about ‘same page parenting’, as I’d like to call it. Before we dive in, it’s important to understand that being on the same page, doesn’t mean you have to agree on every word and every line of that page. There’s no space for black & white thinking or ‘wrong versus right’ when you’re talking about a future no one can predict. 

In this episode on same-page parenting, we discuss:

  • What does it mean to ‘be on the same page’?;
  • Ideas on how to get on the same page with the other parent;
  • How parents can support each other;
  • Inviting curiosity into your home;
  • Getting clear on your common goal;
  • And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

29 Aug 202353. How to Create an Effective Home Plan: Prepare, Structure and Follow Through00:35:25

We’re a few episodes into our mini-series on boundaries and creating a Parent Home Plan to be consistent and follow through on your boundaries. Now, we’re getting closer to the actualization of your own home plan! In today’s episode, I’m going to walk you through the three phases of building your Home Plan:

Phase 1: Preparation
Phase 2: Structure
Phase 3: Follow through

Have a listen to prepare yourself for next week’s episode where we'll be walking through my Parent Home Plan template together. Can't wait? Click here for your FREE download! Let’s do this, parent!

In this episode on creating an effective Home Plan, we discuss:

  • The three phases of creating an effective Home Plan;
  • How to prepare for your home plan;
  • Setting yourself and your family up for success;
  • Tips on how to structure your Parent Home Plan;
  • How to consistently and kindly follow through on your plan;
  • And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

12 Sep 202355. Trusting Your Teen's Journey00:31:05

Sometimes it’s hard to trust our teen’s journey. We might not be able to visibly see the progress our teen is going through, even though it surely is happening. At the same time, we have our own ideas of what our teen’s progress should look like.

When you hold on to your ideas of what progress should look like, and where your teen should be, the progress can seem slow. We’re inviting you to look at things differently. How can you start trusting your teen’s journey? This is what Seth and I are diving into in today’s episode.

In this episode on trusting your teen’s journey, we discuss:

  • Reframing the behavior you’re looking for in your child;
  • Questions to find out what your child’s goals are for themselves;
  • Becoming your child’s accountability partner instead of being fearfully micromanaging them;
  • Trusting the structure and the process your child has to go through;
  • Examples of small shifts to look for;
  • Looking at your own progress too;
  • And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

19 Sep 202356. How to De-escalate Your Teen00:46:00

The tension is building and the situation is starting to escalate from bad to worse. We’ve all been there, haven’t we? As easy as it is to join our teens in this escalation, they need us to be regulated and available in order to de-escalate. Opening up the conversation helps us create a deeper connection and enables both sides to open up a bit more about what’s going on and their perspective on the situation. 

“If you have somebody in front of you who is completely dysregulated, you are gonna want to stay regulated as much as you possibly can.”
- Beth Hillman

Let’s dive into how to do this in today’s episode!

In this episode on how to de-escalate your teen, we discuss:

  • The three brain states we experience: the survival state, emotional state, and cognitive state;
  • How to de-escalate your teen when they’re reacting from their survival state;
  • How you can help your teen when the situation is escalating;
  • Pro-actively de-escalating situations;
  • How you can enable a deeper connection with your teen and get a better understanding of their perspective;
  • Guiding your teen to become an independent adult;
  • And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

26 Sep 202357. The Fear of Independence00:30:29

We’re not just responsible for our kids, we’re also responsible for teaching them how to be responsible for themselves. We want to teach our kids how to solve their own problems and be self-reliant and self-governing.

I get it. It’s SO hard not to intervene when you see your teen trying to figure something out by themselves, taking the long route, and making mistakes as they go. But if you’re constantly rescuing them to provide that comfort, you’re not teaching them how to problem solve and be resilient in life. In the end, we learn more from our mistakes than from things going right. 

So let’s have a look at how we can help our kids navigate their own lives!

In this episode on letting our kids be independent, we discuss:

  • Recognizing the mind frame you’re coming from when wanting to help your child;
  • Becoming your child’s accountability partner;
  • Helping your child make decisions and problem-solve themselves instead of doing it for them;
  • Building resilience in our kids;
  • And much more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

05 Sep 202354. Your Parent Home Plan Template00:26:02

Ready to start creating your very own Parent Home Plan? Don’t worry, you don’t have to start from scratch, because I’m sharing my Parent Home Plan Template with you for free! 

Click here for your free copy of my Parent Home Plan template!

In this episode on creating your parent home plan, we discuss:

  • The ins and outs of my Parent Home Plan template [Get yours for free on www.bethhillmancoaching.com/homeplan];
  • The ultimate goal to keep in mind while setting up your Home Plan;
  • Make sure to keep your own (family) values in mind;
  • And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

03 Oct 202358. How to De-Escalate Yourself - Part 100:25:35

When emotions run high, it’s not just our teens that need de-escalation. We do too. Learning how to de-escalate yourself and regulate your emotions can be revolutionary in your life and relationship with your teen. It sure was for me. 

It might seem unattainable right now (I’ve been there), but you can do it too. Believe me, you can! Let me guide you through it in today’s episode.

In this episode on de-escalating yourself, we discuss:

  • My journey in learning to de-escalate myself;
  • The exact tools I use to de-escalate myself;
  • Intentionally focus on your feelings while processing things;
  • And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

10 Oct 202359. How to De-Escalate Yourself - Part 200:27:20

Let’s continue our conversation on how to de-escalate ourselves and take the conversation a bit deeper. Inspired by a Brene Brown interview, Seth and I explore the importance of communicating our levels of regulation to our partners. What do each of us, at this exact moment, have the bandwidth for? We only have so much energy in the day, and knowing our own energy levels and communicating it with our partner, can help us acknowledge what we can and cannot deal with in the moment.

That is just step one. Tune in to today’s episode to learn more about recognizing the feeling of guilt in ourselves as a red flag for reacting from a place of emotion, and much more!

In this episode on how to de-escalate yourself, we discuss:

  • Communicating energy levels with your partner;
  • Recognizing guilt as a red flag;
  • Moving past guilt and shame for effective communication;
  • Processing dysregulated thoughts and emotions;
  • Emotional communication within your family;
  • The importance of processing emotions and taking time;
  • And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

17 Oct 202360. How to De-escalate Your Teen When It’s “Your Fault”00:42:16

But Beth, how can I de-escalate my teen when they’re blaming me for something I’ve actually done?

It was one of my clients asking me this the other day. And I know she’s not alone, hearing things like:

“My basketball career is ruined because you sent me to treatment”
“I’m losing my friends because you don’t allow me to use my phone”

And yes, you DID send them to treatment. And you DID take their phone. But does that really mean it’s your fault? (Spoiler alert: often it’s not)

In today’s episode, Seth and I discuss how to handle tough situations like this. As you hear in our conversation, we make an important distinction between facts and emotions. Because the fact is, you did send them to treatment. But does that make it your fault that their basketball career is ruined? I don’t think so. 

In this episode on de-escalating your teen when it’s “your fault”, we discuss:

  • Owning the facts, not the story;
  • The impact of justifying and defending yourself;
  • Regulating yourself no matter what you’re teen is doing;
  • Revisiting the conversation after taking a pause;
  • How do you know when you’re regulated enough to discuss something?;
  • And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

24 Oct 202361. How to Unshame Your Parent Regrets With David Bedrick - Part 100:41:41

As a parent, one of the hard things is living with regrets. We’re trying our best to make the right decisions for our children and always do the right thing but none of us is perfect. When I took David Bedrick’s Unshaming course, it completely changed the way I see myself and some of my past actions as a parent. It truly changed my life. So without him knowing, he became a mentor to me. 

So it goes without words that I’m beyond excited to be talking to him today on Parenting Post-Wilderness! David is the founder of the Santa Fe Institute for Shame-based Studies and teaches people how to live a life free from shame. As David says, there’s intelligence in our actions and he’s on the podcast today to help us find it. Are you ready?

In this episode on unshaming your parent regrets, we discuss:

  • How to handle role reversal in your family;
  • Honoring our feelings and reactions while still showing up self-regulated;
  • Using relational powers to create a genuine relationship with your child;
  • Unshaming the regrets you hold as a parent;
  • And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

31 Oct 202362. How to Unshame the Identified Patient in Your Home With David Bedrick - Part 200:25:32

Sending your kid away to treatment often comes with a lot of shame. The shame of not being a good enough parent, not being the person that can help them, and so on. This inner critic shows up in your head and can be incredibly loud, right?

I’m continuing my conversation with David Bedrick and we invite you to have a different look at this inner critic and the blame and shame we put on the decisions we’ve made. Because what is it really giving you? Is it helpful for you to blame yourself? Is it in any way helpful for your kid or your family? The answer is no, it isn’t. 

Come and join this second part of my conversation with David in which we dive deeper into this and other concepts like seeing your kid both as a student and a teacher and unshaming the identified patient in your family. Embrace yourself to dive deep!

In this episode on unshaming the identified patient in your family, we discuss:

  • Unshaming the identified patient in your family;
  • The shame around sending your kid away;
  • The unhelpful inner critic in our head;
  • Seeing your kid as both a student and a teacher.

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

07 Nov 202363. Wilderness Therapy: A Blessing or a Curse?00:45:56

Wilderness isn’t bad, nor good. Hard, nor easy. A blessing, nor a curse. These are the thoughts we might have, but they’re not the facts. 

In this episode, I’m (re)introducing the concept of facts versus thoughts (in other words, the stories we make up in our minds) in the concept of our wilderness experiences. 

The experience of wilderness is made up of a lot of facts: whether your kid was transported there or not, whether they went voluntarily or not, the weather when they were there, and so on. 

But as human beings, our experiences don’t just consist of facts. We have thoughts about these facts. We create a story in our minds which leads us to have an opinion about the facts. And these are different for each of us. 

The tricky part? When we don’t pay attention, we can confuse our own stories for facts. 

Have a listen to today’s episode, where we dive deeper into this concept and discuss how listening and being open to each other’s stories can bring us understanding and can helps us love other people for where they’re at. 

In this episode, we discuss:

  • The difference between facts and stories;
  • Listening and being open to other’s stories;
  • How life shapes our view on the facts around us;
  • The fear of being wrong;
  • And much more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

14 Nov 202364. How Much Support Is Too Much?00:35:52

How much support is too much? There’s a therapist, a tutor, an EF coach, maybe a mentor, and a basketball coach, and sometimes our kids are just like: ‘That’s enough!’. We must figure out how to listen to them and still give them the support they need. 

At a certain point, we need to give our kids the time and space to implement what they've learned, make mistakes and learn from them, and practice being independent young adults. So when is it the right time for this for your child?

Every situation is different and there’s no one-size-fits-all answer to the question of how much support is too much. So let’s dive into all the details in today’s episode!

In this episode on how much support is too much, we discuss:

  • How much support is too much?;
  • When does the support start having negative effects?;
  • Why it’s important to give our kids some freedom to implement what they’ve learned and become independent young adults;
  • What to do when the stakes are too high?;
  • What can your kid learn while making mistakes?;
  • And much more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

21 Nov 202365. Are We Boxing or Raising a Child? - Parenting as a Team With Tanya Hale00:25:32

Are you parenting your kid as a team or does it feel more like you’re in the boxing ring with the other parent, trying to prove that you’re right and they’re wrong?

When emotions run high, it’s sometimes hard to acknowledge that you’re on the same team as the other parent. Instead of sitting down and listening to each other, we automatically shift towards an ‘I’m right and you’re wrong’ mindset. 

What if I tell you that it can be different?

My dear friend and incredible mid-life relationship coach Tanya Hale joined me today for this value-packed interview on how we can parent as a team. She’s here to help us communicate better with our spouses (or the other parent if we’re divorced) and our adult children. Oof, doesn’t that sound incredible?!

In this episode on parenting as a team, we discuss:

  • Working through our differences as parents;
  • How to start working together with the other parent;
  • How to get to curiosity with our brains who just want to be right;
  • What to do when your spouse is not doing the work;
  • And much more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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More about Tanya Hale

Tanya Hale is a life coach who focuses on helping women in mid-life work through their tough relationships. She works with clients in all stages of divorce, those who don’t want to get divorced but are struggling to be happy in their marriage, and parents who are struggling with their adult children.   

You can learn more about Tanya’s work on her website and her podcast ‘Intentional living with Tanya Hale’!

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

28 Nov 202366. How to Bring Up Backburner Issues With Tanya Hale - Part 200:29:54

Backburner issues: those little things we’re annoyed about but feel too small or irrelevant to discuss. So we put them on the backburner where they keep growing and growing until they become this big issue in our relationship. Sounds familiar? 

In this second part of my interview with Tanya Hale, who’s an incredible mid-life relationship coach, she shares her formula for talking about backburner issues. Because here’s how she sees it: We don’t want to be mean. We want to be peacekeepers. But we don’t realize that by adopting this peacekeeper’s mindset, we’re working against our relationship.

The solution? Instead of blaming and attacking, we have to learn how to bring up those backburner issues in a loving and kind way. Tanya’s formula is going to help us bring up backburner issues by owning it and still honoring what’s going on for you while communicating it to your loved ones.

In this episode on how to bring up backburner issues, we discuss:

  • Are you lying to your spouse?;
  • Learning to bring up backburner issues in a loving and kind way;
  • Acknowledging there’s an issue;
  • Recognizing and communicating that your feelings, thoughts, and points of view are not facts;
  • And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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More about Tanya Hale

Tanya Hale is a life coach who focuses on helping women in mid-life work through their tough relationships. She works with clients in all stages of divorce, those who don’t want to get divorced but are struggling to be happy in their marriage, and parents who are struggling with their adult children.   

You can learn more about Tanya’s work on her website and her podcast ‘Intentional living with Tanya Hale’!

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

12 Dec 202368. How Parents Can Support Their Child Transitioning to a Healthier Lifestyle: Ending 'Toxic' Friendships00:31:57

The journey your teen is on isn’t an easy one. They’re trying to make healthier choices, also when it comes to the people they hang out with. As a parent, you might feel relief when your child decides to cut ties with a ‘bad influence’, making it hard for you to empathize with them. But remember that it’s a completely different experience for them.

Even if your teen realizes that this person they’re cutting ties with isn’t a good person to be around anymore, it isn’t an easy process for them to go through. It’s a loss they’re experiencing and they go through a mourning process. 

Remember that your kid is learning and establishing what is healthy for them. That’s huge! That’s what we want our kids to do, right?! We’re trying to raise self-governing adults and this is a very important part of that.

In today’s episode, we dive deeper into how to support your child when they’re going through the loss of ending a relationship even when it feels hard for you to do. Let’s give our kids the support they need.

In this episode on supporting your teen in making healthier choices and ending ‘toxic’ friendships, we discuss:

  • Putting the experience of ending a ‘toxic’ friendship into perspective;
  • Relationships are not as black and white as we think;
  • Learning to listen for the sake of listening, instead of for the sake of responding;
  • Realizing what you have control over and what not;
  • Your labels of friends might not be right;
  • Gaining an understanding of your teen’s feelings around a transition in a relationship;
  • And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

05 Dec 202367. How to Not Strangle Your Kids During the Holidays: Communicating Expectations00:34:22

Christmas is around the corner and brings along a certain level of stress and anxiety in parents and teens alike. We want the holidays to be fun and merry and have a lot of expectations about what it will or should be like. But when not everything turns out the way we expected, it’s those expectations that bring frustration and disappointment.

Join Seth and me today in our conversation about expectations for the holidays. What do we think might happen? What desires do we have? What expectations do our teens have? And how can we all communicate our expectations so we can enjoy a merry Christmas together? Let’s have a look!

In this episode on communicating expectations during the holidays, we discuss:

  • Recognizing our own expectations for the holidays;
  • Our teens have their own set of expectations;
  • How to communicate in your family to help the situation;
  • Boundaries during the holidays;
  • Teens have a given and a chosen family. They might want to spend time with both during the holidays;
  • And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

19 Dec 202369. Fire Yourself From Being the Academic Police With Executive Function Coach Chrissy Nichols00:28:47

What would it feel like if you just got to love your child at the dinner table instead of having conflicts over due dates or presentations? To be able to take that completely out of the equation? An Executive Function coach might be exactly what your family needs.

Chrissy Nichols is an Executive Function coach who specializes in helping teens reintegrate into traditional learning environments. So what does that mean exactly?

In short, executive functioning is all about learning self-regulation skills like working memory, mental flexibility, and time management. In other words, Chrissy helps teens by taking big projects and helping them chunk them down into bite-sized pieces so life feels less overwhelming.

If academics feel out of your control or have turned you into the academic police at your household, make sure you have a listen to what Chrissy has to share today. Her love for kids really shines through in her words. I cannot wait for you to listen to this episode!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

In this episode on executive functioning, we discuss:

  • What is an Executive Function coach?;
  • Taking school and academics off your parenting plate;
  • Working on your teen’s growth mindset;
  • Therapeutic burnout;
  • And more!
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More about Chrissy Nichols

Chrissy Nichols is an executive function coach for learners of all ages but specializes in helping teens reintegrate into traditional learning environments. After more than 22 years in the classroom, Chrissy's brain hacks help clients see that there is absolutely nothing wrong with them--they just need to learn how to rewire their brain.

Chrissy's work is aimed to empower her student clients to empower themselves. For parents, this means taking school and academics off their parenting plates so they can simply love their child. 

See how Chrissy’s thought concepts can become your executive function concepts over at www.thechrissyconcept.com

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

26 Dec 202370. Giving the Gift of an Executive Function Coach to Your Teen and Yourself With Chrissy Nichols00:30:57

School and academics can cause a lot of tension in your household. No matter your good intentions or whether or not you have the skills and knowledge to help your teen with their school work, getting guidance and encouragement from you can be triggering for them.

On the other hand, it can also cause a lot of frustration for you as the parent when you see your child’s behavior around schoolwork. It can be hard to not let judgment shine through in your communication, which raises the emotions for your teen and leads to even more procrastination and resistance. 

In this second part of my interview with Chrissy Nichols, an amazing Executive Function coach who specializes in helping teens reintegrate into traditional learning environments, she tells us more about how an Executive Function coach can help your family. Have a listen!

In this episode on giving the gift of an Executive Function coach to your family, we discuss:

  • The difference between EF coaching, academic tutoring and life coaching and how they weave together;
  • Working on your teen’s confidence and self-belief;
  • Taking the judgment out of helping our kids;
  • Giving control to the EF coach;
  • And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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More about Chrissy Nichols

Chrissy Nichols is an executive function coach for learners of all ages but specializes in helping teens reintegrate into traditional learning environments. After more than 22 years in the classroom, Chrissy's brain hacks help clients see that there is absolutely nothing wrong with them--they just need to learn how to rewire their brain.

Chrissy's work is aimed to empower her student clients to empower themselves. For parents, this means taking school and academics off their parenting plates so they can simply love their child. 

See how Chrissy’s thought concepts can become your executive function concepts over at www.thechrissyconcept.com

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

02 Jan 202471. How to Live With Your Teen Who’s Using00:38:00

How do you live with your teen who’s using? And how do you know whether your behavior as a parent is supportive or enabling? There’s a fine line between the two… 

As if that isn’t hard enough to figure out already, additionally, many parents are afraid of losing the relationship they have with their teen by having hard conversations or sticking to their boundaries. 

It’s a difficult subject, and an even more difficult situation to be in, so what better place to talk about it than here on the podcast? Let’s dive in.

In this episode on living with your teen who’s using, we discuss:

  • Looking at the patterns you see in your teen’s behavior;
  • Seeing the bigger picture;
  • Understanding what is your part and what isn’t;
  • Getting out of black-or-white thinking;
  • Upholding boundaries without judgment;
  • Remaining in your parent role;
  • The key to understanding what’s enabling or supportive in your family.

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

09 Jan 202472. How to Feel and Let Your Kids Feel00:36:03

How do you respond when your kid is feeling sad? Will you try to fix things for them? Help them out? It might feel like the right thing to do but you’re sending out a different message than you likely intended.

Seeing your kid struggle with their emotions is hard for many reasons. You want to make them feel better. Sometimes, you might even be running out of empathy because you feel like they ‘should be over it by now’. And it gets especially hard when the behavior looks similar to pre-wilderness behavior, like staying in their room and isolating themselves.

In this episode, we’re going to dive deep into the topic of giving ourselves and others the time to feel hard feelings, and how we can model to our kids that feeling those big feelings is completely fine and normal.

In this episode on how to feel and let your kids feel, we discuss:

  • How we often put a time limit on grief or other hard feelings;
  • How parents tend to try to control the narrative when they get fearful;
  • How do you know if your teen is processing their feelings or not?;
  • The importance of context;
  • Why we try to control people;
  • And much more.

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

16 Jan 202473. Will You Accept Pain or Choose Suffering? With Maggie Kang, MD00:33:49

Are you choosing to suffer?

Pain is part of life – we can’t avoid it. Today’s guest, Maggie Kang, experienced this first-hand when her 9-year-old daughter got diagnosed with a rare disease. The pain this brought was inevitable. But there’s a difference between pain and suffering. Suffering happens when we resist the pain.

By resisting to accept what was going on and that this was their new reality, and feeling the need to blame someone (mostly herself), Maggie caused herself to suffer. Until she started to realize things needed to change. 

When painful events happen, it’s important to take the time to work through them. It’s dark, and it isn’t pretty. But it doesn't last nearly as long as you think. 

Have a listen to Maggie’s inspiring story and invaluable advice in today’s episode!

In this episode on accepting pain or choosing to suffer, we discuss:

  • The importance of community;
  • Feeling alone when your kid gets a diagnosis;
  • The judgment around our children’s diagnoses;
  • The story of Maggie’s child’s diagnosis;
  • The difference between suffering and pain;
  • Where does suffering come from?;
  • And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

More about Maggie Kang, MD

Dr. Maggie Kang is a board-certified radiologist trained at Yale, mom of two kids. She was the radiologist who was the first to see her nine-year-old daughter’s horrifying brain MRI in the ER. Her daughter was diagnosed with a rare disease, neuromyelitis optica.

The ordeal motivated Maggie to shift her focus from radiology to mental well-being. Now a certified Life Coach, Maggie dedicates her time to supporting parents of kids in the rare and chronic disease communities. She also works with physician moms of kids with chronic needs one-on-one in her private coaching practice, MaggieKangMD LLC. 

 Maggie told her story on the TEDx stage, sharing her powerful message that you can choose to accept pain or create suffering. 

Learn more about Maggie Kang on her website or connect with her on Instagram or Facebook.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

23 Jan 202474. How to Support Your Graduating Senior With Their College Applications With Maggie Kang, MD00:21:52

How can you support your teen with their college applications without writing every single essay for them?

If you have a graduating senior in the house, this question has probably crossed your mind. 

Are they actually writing their essays? 
Are they putting in enough effort? 
How much should you bug them about it?


Today’s guest, Maggie Kang, MD, found that the more she bugged her son about it, the more counterproductive it became. It can lead to more fights between you and your kid, damaging your relationship and they still won’t put more work into it.


Often it’s just us parents putting our own fears and anxieties on our kids. Yes, college essay anxiety is a real thing among parents.


So what then? Should you just let them figure it out by themselves? Yes, and no. 


I absolutely love the solution Maggie Kang came up with. By reframing the questions she asked her son, she was able to spark conversations with him that inspired ideas for college essays without it forming a wedge in their relationship.


Have a listen to today’s episode to learn more about this mindblowing yet simple technique!


In this episode on how to support your graduating senior with their college applications, we discuss:

  • Feeling college essay anxiety as a parent;
  • How much should you get involved in your kid’s college application?;
  • How to spark conversations that inspire ideas for college essays;
  • How not to trigger our teen when asking about their progress;
  • And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

More about Maggie Kang, MD


Dr. Maggie Kang is a board-certified radiologist trained at Yale, mom of two kids. She was the radiologist who was the first to see her nine-year-old daughter’s horrifying brain MRI in the ER. Her daughter was diagnosed with a rare disease, neuromyelitis optical.


The ordeal motivated Maggie to shift her focus from radiology to mental well-being. Now a certified Life Coach, Maggie dedicates her time to supporting parents of kids in the rare and chronic disease communities. She also works with physician moms of kids with chronic needs one-on-one in her private coaching practice, MaggieKangMD LLC. 


Maggie told her story on the TEDx stage, sharing her powerful message that you can choose to accept pain or create suffering. 


Learn more about Maggie Kang on her website or connect with her on Instagram or Facebook.


- - - - - - - - - -


Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!


And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

30 Jan 202475. Fear-Based Parenting00:46:25

How can I not rescue, and not enable, and at the same time not leave my kid completely in the dark when they’re struggling?

This is the question we’re going to dive into in today’s episode.


As a parent, it’s SO hard to see your kid struggling and not knowing how to help. I’ve been there, and I know it’s beyond a nightmare. 


You’re fearful of doing the wrong thing. Fearful of doing nothing. You’re trying your absolute best but it’s hard to understand the tipping point between what is kind and helpful and what is actually enabling and rescuing. 


When we start parenting based on our fears, we fall into reactive parenting, instead of being thoughtful. 


Let’s have a look at what this looks like and some actionable examples of situations we’ve found ourselves in and how we handled (or wish we’d handled) them in today’s episode.


In this episode on fear-based parenting, we discuss: 

  • Two common ways fear-based parenting can manifest: overprotecting & authoritative; 
  • You’re not your child’s friend and shouldn’t behave like one;
  • Power struggles in your family;
  • Owning your own fear and anxiety;
  • Examples from our own experiences;
  • And more.

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.


And remember parents, the change begins with us.


- - - - - - - - - -


Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!


And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

06 Feb 202476. Seeing Beyond Your Child’s Behavior: Shifting Focus in Parenting00:33:54

How can you shift your parenting focus from your children's behaviors to understanding the emotions and needs driving those behaviors?


We know how easy it can be to fall into the trap of focusing solely on your child’s behavior. It’s what you see, what’s on the forefront, and it’s so easy to notice: whether they wake up in time, their grades, etc. 


Combine this with the fear and uncertainty that being a parent can bring sometimes and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. So in those moments, let’s try to tap into the power of understanding and connection.


Let’s be clear: behaviors matter. But they're just the tip of the iceberg. When you learn how to dig deeper, you uncover the real feelings and struggles your child might be facing. It's about creating a safe space for expression and connection, where your kid feels seen, heard, and valued.


When you parent from a place of empathy and understanding, you can truly transform your relationship with your teen and foster a deeper connection with them.


Listen to the entire episode for practical tips and honest discussions on nurturing empathy and connection in your parenting journey.


In this episode on shifting your parenting focus from behavior to connection, we discuss:

  • Why parents tend to primarily focus on behaviors;
  • What is your child trying to express through their behavior?;
  • Creating a safe space for expression;
  • Building a connection and relationship with your child;
  • Tapping into your inner child to understand your kid better;
  • And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.


And remember parents, the change begins with us.


- - - - - - - - - -


Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!


And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

13 Feb 202477. Navigating Screen Time Challenges: Insights from Emily Jones00:30:56

Are you feeling overwhelmed by the constant battle to manage your children's screen time? Maybe you worry that it’s too late?

Today’s guest, Emily Jones, is the brain behind Family Tech University and shares her insights with us today on how to approach this modern parenting dilemma. 


She emphasized that while it's crucial for parents to set effective boundaries around technology use and provide guidance, it's equally essential to empower our kids to develop their own internal filter when it comes to technology. We want to raise independent young adults, also when it comes to screen time


In this episode on navigating screen time challenges, we discuss:

  • How to start putting boundaries even when you feel it’s too late;
  • The importance of fostering an internal filter in our children;
  • The difference between demonizing technology and putting healthy boundaries;
  • Modeling healthy behavior around technology and screen usage;
  • And more!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program.

🗺️Create your own Parent Home Plan with the help of my free guide.


Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!


And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!


And remember parents, the change begins with us.


About today’s guest:

Emily Madsen Jones is co-founder with husband Dave of Family Tech University; an organization with a paradigm-shifting perspective on powerful tech parenting. She is a writer, author, speaker, and teacher... but her best wisdom on the technology parenting was gleaned from motherhood, via 5 non-perfect, fiercely adored children.


You can connect with Emily on Instagram or Facebook.


20 Feb 202478. A Collaborative Approach to Teen Technology Habits With Emily Jones From Family Tech University00:39:31

Collaborating with your child on technology habits, can you imagine?


Or your child making the decision to put down their game console and go for a run instead, not because ‘mom’s been nagging about it’ but because it’s what they want themselves?


In this second part of my interview with Emily, we’re diving deeper into how you can collaborate with your teen about their own technology habits. 


[Haven’t listened to part 1 of this interview yet? Have a listen to episode #77 first!]


Listen as Emily shares the ‘Story of my life’ approach she used with the kids inside Family Tech University. Through thoughtful reflection and guided questions, this approach helps teens and kids explore their dreams, aspirations, and the impact of their technology habits on their future selves. 


In this episode on collaborating with your teen on their technology habits, we discuss:

  • Helping our kids make conscious choices about their technology habits by helping them reflect on the life they want for themselves;
  • How to empower your teen to make wise decisions about technology use;
  • Gradually introducing our kids to technology;
  • Modeling healthy technology habits to our teens and kids;
  • And more!


🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program.


🗺️Create your own Parent Home Plan with the help of my free guide.


Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!


And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!


And remember parents, the change begins with us.


About today’s guest:

Emily Madsen Jones is co-founder with husband Dave of Family Tech University; an organization with a paradigm-shifting perspective on powerful tech parenting. She is a writer, author, speaker, and teacher... but her best wisdom on the technology parenting was gleaned from motherhood, via 5 non-perfect, fiercely adored children.


You can connect with Emily on Instagram or Facebook.

27 Feb 202479. Negative Thought Patterns: Dealing with the Uncertainty of Crisis00:33:29

Ever noticed your brain filling with worst-case scenarios when you have limited information on what’s happening? We’ve all been there. It’s what our brains do. But why? And how can we make sure we’re not parenting out of fear?

In this episode, Seth and I explore the concept of fear-based parenting and the tendency to jump to negative conclusions when faced with unknown situations. Both in times of crisis and in everyday parenting, we often have access to limited information, left to fill in the blanks by ourselves. If we want to ditch the negative thought patterns and stop parenting out of fear, we need to learn how to separate stories from facts. Let’s discuss how in today’s episode!


In this episode on how our brain responds to uncertainty, we discuss:

  • How our brains respond to uncertainty;
  • The impact of fear on decision-making;
  • Differentiating between facts and stories;
  • Recognizing negative thought patterns;
  • How to proactively gather information when faced with uncertainty;
  • The importance of self-awareness in combatting fear-based parenting;
  • And more!

Other episodes on fear-based parenting: 

  • #75 Fear-Based Parenting



Need support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!


🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.



Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!


And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!


And remember parents, the change begins with us.

05 Mar 202480. What to Do When Your Teen Is Stuck in Unhealthy Behavior?00:44:29

80. What to Do When Your Teen Is Stuck in Unhealthy Behavior?

Have you ever found yourself in that heart-wrenching place where you're watching your child or young adult spiral into unhealthy behaviors? Seth and I know that pain all too well, both from our professional experiences and personal journeys.


Today, we delve deep into the complexities of this tough subject. We don’t just offer practical advice, but also share our own struggles: 

  • Listen to Seth recounting his own experiences when he was stuck in unhealthy behavior and witness the raw emotions involved. 
  • And Beth’s story of how she worked through a situation as a parent in which she had to figure out whether her support had turned into enabling.

Navigating unhealthy patterns is tough terrain. It requires patience, empathy, and sometimes the courage to set healthy boundaries. While there's no one-size-fits-all solution, there is hope in the journey of self-discovery and growth.


In this episode on what to do when your teen is stuck in unhealthy behavior, we discuss:

  • The challenging issue of dealing with unhealthy behaviors in teenagers and young adults;
  • The importance of validation for parents experiencing these challenges;
  • Seth’s personal journey of resistance to change despite recognizing the need for it, highlighting the complexities involved in seeking help and making changes;
  • What did Seth experience as helpful from his loved ones when he was stuck in unhealthy behavior?
  • How can you recognize when support turns into enabling?;
  • The role of changing environments in addressing unhealthy behaviors;
  • The importance of addressing underlying issues rather than simply changing environments or behaviors;
  • Beth shares a personal example of making decisions from an emotional state versus a rational, objective mindset;
  • The importance of processing emotions and thoughts before making decisions;
  • The two feelings Beth looks for as a green flag to know she’s ready to make a big decision;
  • Looking for the rainbow of options in between black-and-white thinking.
  • The importance of open communication, setting boundaries, and considering what individuals are comfortable with regarding support and enabling behaviors;
  • Communicating with your teen from a non-emotional, objective state;
  • Approaching the situation with love and curiosity rather than judgment or control.

Other episodes mentioned: 

  • #71 How to Live with a Teen Who’s Using
  • #75 Fear-Based Parenting (on supporting vs. enabling)


Need support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!


🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.



Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!


And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future e

12 Mar 202481. A Mom’s Lived Experience With Her Son’s Suicidal Ideation and Program Journey [Parent Interview]00:33:23

“We were mentally panicked. We didn’t want our kid to die and we didn’t know what to do.”


Today's episode will hit close to home for many of you. We're diving into the raw and real journey of a mother facing her son's struggles with mental health, including suicidal ideation and self-harm.


She reflects on her son growing up as an emotionally needy child, things getting rougher when he became a teenager, and eventually escalating after an event that happened at school during his sophomore year. It was like her son fell apart overnight. He started cutting himself, carving words in his skin, and threatening to kill himself.


“We had nothing … in our repertoire of parenting tools about what to do when your kid is having feelings like that. And we really panicked.” - Guest


What followed was a rocky road of homeschooling, therapy, mental hospitals, wilderness, and a residential treatment center (RTC). 


“There’s no way to sugarcoat how hard it is. It’s unbearable but you have to walk through it” - Guest


If you've ever felt lost or overwhelmed as a parent, if you're struggling to support a child with mental health challenges, or if you simply want to hear a story of resilience and hope, then this episode is for you. 


Tune in and listen to this mom's incredible journey of how she lived through her son’s mental health crisis, suicidal ideation, self-harm, and program journey. You won't regret it.


In this episode, we discuss:

  • A mom’s lived experience with her teen who struggled with mental health, self-harm, and suicidal ideation;
  • The rabbit hole of thinking back to the past, the ‘what if’s’ and blaming yourself for decisions you’ve made in your parenting;
  • How this mom used to respond to her son’s behavior; 
  • The choices this mom made in times of crisis;
  • Her son’s resistance when he was sent to wilderness;
  • The hardest thing this mom had to do in her life;
  • This mom’s lived experience of bringing her son home after wilderness to see if he had done enough work to keep the work going at home;
  • This mom’s realization that the language she was using was invalidating her son’s feelings;
  • What does it mean to do your own work as a parent?;
  • And more!

Need support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!


🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.


Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!


And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!


And remember parents, the change begins with us.


19 Mar 202482. A Mom’s Lived Experience of Her Son’s Return Home After Treatment and Doing Her Own Work - Part 2 [Parent Interview]00:44:40

How can you prepare for your teen to come home after treatment?

Last week’s guest mom of a teen struggling with his mental health, suicidal ideation, and self-harm is back and we dive deeper into the journey after treatment, and the lessons she learned (and is learning) in order to come to her own way of being so she can be the best parent she can be.


“Letting him figure his life out has been imperative” - Today’s guest mom


What challenges did her son’s return home after treatment bring with it? And what was the most important work this mom had to do for herself in order to make his return work? We also dive deeper into the trauma of being away from home for so long, and the impact of the whole situation on the siblings.


“It’s been really helpful to know that if he’s flopping around, doing things I don’t approve of, not following my plans, that’s okay. It’s okay. It’s his life” - Today’s guest mom


I’m immensely grateful for this mom to share her story. It’s truly inspiring to me, and I hope it will be the same for you. Let’s dive in!


In this episode on a mom’s lived experience of her son’s return home after treatment & doing her own work, we discuss:

  • The challenges that come with this mom’s son being back home after having been away in treatment for 1 year and 9 months;
  • How can you manage your own emotions so that you’re not projecting them out onto your relationship with your teen?;
  • What things did this mom specifically work on that helped prepare her home for her son to come home?
  • The trauma of separation after being in treatment and away from home;
  • Her son’s plans for the future;
  • The impact this situation has had on the siblings;
  • Keeping the family unit together when one member is away;
  • What advice would this mom give her old self from 2 years ago?
  • What was it like when her son came home? What’s something she wishes she had done but also something she’s glad she did?
  • And more!

Need support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!


🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.


Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!


And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!


And remember parents, the change begins with us.


26 Mar 202483. Choice, Consequence & Accountability: Helping Your Struggling Teen Understand00:23:13

How can you help your struggling teen take more accountability? 

What can you do to help your teen understand choice, consequence, and accountability? Those are the questions Seth and I will be exploring in today’s episode.


[Struggling to set boundaries & consequences? Check out my free guide to help you create your own Parent Home Plan 🗺️]


Our brain likes going into defense mode. It’s what it does automatically. With conscious work, we can catch ourselves there (and teach our struggling teens to do the same) and learn to recognize that we almost always have a choice in the matter. Even when we feel like we don’t.


“It takes a lot of practice to realize what is a choice and what isn’t a choice” - Seth Gottlieb


Pushing your teen to take accountability isn’t beneficial for you as a parent or your teen. Instead of trying to force accountability, we’ll discuss ways to grow the conscious awareness of choice and action, leading to an understanding of accountability.


In this episode, we discuss:

  • We all sometimes justify our own behaviors by telling ourselves we didn’t have a choice, even if we did;
  • Probing questions to understand (and help your teen understand) their thought process regarding their choice;
  • Helping your teen understand the relationship between choice, action, consequence, and accountability;
  • The role of black-and-white thinking when it comes to choices, and consequences.
  • Validating feelings;
  • Taking accountability for facts versus story;
  • How to bring the conversation and accountability back to facts when you’re used to being lied to by your teen;
  • And more!

Need support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!


🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.


Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!


And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!


And remember parents, the change begins with us.


02 Apr 202484. Support Independence in Your Teen - Boost Your Daily Teen Parenting Skills With This One Question00:26:31

How can you help your teen become more independent?

This one simple question will help you boost your parenting skills for daily decision-making.


Parenting is an interesting thing… One day our child is completely dependent on us and we’re in charge of everything. Then they grow up and it’s hard to know what we’re still in charge of and what not. How can we best support them to become independent young adults?


I can tell you one thing: We step in way more than we need to. 


“We need to help them turn on their own inner engine, to motivate self-governing, 

and to influence independence” - Beth Hillman


Today’s simple question will help you do a day-to-day check-in with yourself to support independence in your teen and boost your daily teen parenting skills.


Alright parent, let’s dive in.


In this episode on supporting independence in your teen, we discuss:

  • How to best support your teen to turn on their own inner engine, motivate self-governing, and influence independence?;
  • Is your teen actually asking for your help or not?;
  • Is you trying to help them, actually helpful for your teen?;
  • Is ‘dealing with consequences’ a value you hold in your family?;
  • My personal story of how my son’s showed me they wanted to learn to deal with consequences;
  • And more!

Need support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!


🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.


Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!


And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!


And remember parents, the change begins with us.


09 Apr 202485. The Fine Art of Listening for Parents of Struggling Teens00:30:13

Listening is the key that unlocks understanding and it allows us to be more helpful to our teens (and others!). So how can we become better listeners? Not only to our struggling teens, our children, but to everyone around us?


“The more I let go of what I think my adult children should or shouldn’t do, the more they have taken accountability for their actions in their life” - Beth Hillman


I see it all the time (and believe me, I’ve been there too!): parents who are trying to convince their teen not to do something, and by doing so they trigger them to get defensive. This is the last thing we want, isn’t it? Instead, I’m inviting you to try listening. It might be surprising to you, but the best and most permanent way to change a mind is getting the person to talk in a non-defensive way about their beliefs.


So let’s work together on the simple, yet often difficult skill of listening without judgment, opinion, solving, or criticizing. Let’s develop a relationship with our teens where they know we’re here to listen to them. Are you ready? Let’s dive in!

In this episode on the fine art of listening for parents of struggling teens, we discuss:

  • How to listen without judgment, opinions, solving or criticizing; 
  • What I believe to be THE way to shift our thinking;
  • What it takes to change a mind; 
  • Why ‘I feel’ statements don’t always work;
  • Developing the relationship of ‘I’m here to listen to you, kid’;
  • The role of asking questions in active listening;
  • And more!


Need support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!


🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.


Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!


And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!


And remember parents, the change begins with us.


Resources mentioned in this episode:

Want to learn more about the skill of listening? Listen back to episode #47 The Power of Listening to Our Kids’ Feedback With Less Harris!

16 Apr 202486. Getting Kids Ready for Independence: Is Your Help Hindering Your Child’s Growth?00:30:05

When does your help start to hinder your teen’s growth?

As parents, we want to help our kids as much as possible and protect them from discomfort. It seems like our generation has taken this belief to an extreme though. Did you know that the age at which parents allow their kids to go out and explore the world by themselves autonomously (for example by letting them go to the grocery store by themselves to pick up a few items) has almost doubled in just one generation!?


But the world has changed, right? And aren’t things sometimes just too difficult to handle for them? We’re all doing it from a place of love!


What if I told you that our teens need to experience discomfort in order to grow into independent young adults? The more we keep our teens in their comfort zone, the less resilience they’re building. And on top of that, we’re providing them with less opportunity to learn and grow.


“Learning doesn’t come from achieving success or getting what you want all the time.” - Seth Gottlieb


So how can we support our kids to get ready for independence? Let’s dive into this interesting topic together with Seth today. Have a listen!


In this episode on getting our kids ready for independence, we discuss:

  • Where’s the line between helping our kids and hindering their growth into independence?;
  • Independence has changed drastically in just one generation;
  • How independence teaches our kids what it is to be trusted and communicate healthily;
  • How technology takes away the opportunity for our kids to feel autonomous;
  • Holding on to perceptions of your teen of the past instead of who they are today;
  • How can we get our kids ready for independence?;
  • And more!

Need support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!


🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.


Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!


And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!


And remember parents, the change begins with us.


23 Apr 202487. Safety vs. Comfort: Allowing Your Child to Learn Through Failure00:24:27

Are you allowing your child to learn through failure? 


There’s a thin line between offering safety and comfort. Just like safety, offering comfort to your kid is a way of protection. It’s a way to protect your child so they don’t have to experience the hardships and difficulties that you had to go through yourself. But is it really in your child’s best interest to keep them from experiencing unsuccessful events?


“By preventing it, you’re also enabling it” - Seth Gottlieb


Our children don’t learn from an unsuccessful event if we rescue them.

Our teens don’t learn from the lesson if you pick up the pieces for them.

But where’s the line? Let’s discuss it with Seth in today’s episode!


In this episode on safety vs. comfort, we discuss:

  • What’s the difference between offering safety and comfort?;
  • Is something ever really a failure or is it an unsuccessful event that can lead to success through learning?;
  • How providing comfort can be enabling;
  • Examples of safety versus comfort in daily life;
  • And more!


Need support?


🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!


🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.


Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!


And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!


And remember parents, the change begins with us.


30 Apr 202488. How to Keep Going after a Setback: For Parents and Their Struggling Teens00:28:52

Going back to old patterns is part of the process. 


In a perfect world, we’d change our behavior and never make the same mistake again. And so would our struggling teens. But perfection doesn’t exist, and there’s no such thing as a magic switch that makes everything work out perfectly all of a sudden. 


I know how hard it is to experience a setback yourself or see your teen go through it. But one thing that Seth and I would like you to walk away with today, is that a setback doesn’t mean failure. 


Whether we’re talking about setbacks in communication, substance abuse, coping skills, healthy behavior, or holding healthy boundaries, when we get sidetracked, we often feel like we have to start from scratch again. We think we have completely failed and beat ourselves up. Sometimes it even leads us to give up entirely.


But you’re not starting over. You still have all the experience and work you’ve done before. And you have the opportunity to learn, to reorient yourself back to the path you want to be on in order to move forward. 


Let’s dive into today’s episode on how to keep going after a setback, and learn more about:

  • How setbacks are part of the process;
  • How a setback doesn’t mean you’re starting from scratch;
  • The feeling of discouragement and just wanting to give up sometimes;
  • Supporting your teen in getting back on track after a setback;
  • Honouring the process of change;
  • Keeping your boundaries steady while supporting someone in experiencing a setback;
  • And more!


Need support?


🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!


🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.


Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!


And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!


And remember parents, the change begins with us.


07 May 202489. Supporting a Struggling Teen in Healthy Endeavors While They Still Have Maladaptive Behaviors00:19:13

Should you support your teen in college if he’s still using? Or let your daughter go to prom when she’s still breaking curfew?

You want to support your teen in healthy behaviors but how do you go about that when they’re still showing maladaptive behaviors? You don’t want to take away activities that have a positive, healthy impact on your teen but at the same time don’t want to ‘reward’ them while they’re still breaking your home agreement, right?


In this episode, Seth and I discuss how you can reinforce a boundary that is a natural consequence of the maladaptive behavior instead of taking away something that’s actually beneficial to your struggling teen. Let’s dive in!


In this episode on supporting your struggling teen in healthy endeavors while they still have maladaptive behaviors, we discuss:

  • How can you support your teen in healthy endeavors when they’re still showing maladaptive behavior like using substances, skipping school, or breaking curfew?;
  • Reinforcing a boundary that is a natural consequence regarding the unhealthy behavior;
  • Following through on our boundaries without emotionally consequencing;
  • And more!

Need support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!


🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.


Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!


And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!


And remember parents, the change begins with us.


14 May 202490. The Way Out of an Impasse With Your Struggling Teen00:32:02

What do you do when things aren’t working and it feels like there’s nothing left to be done?

Whether your teen is isolating themselves in their room, refusing to go to school, self-harming, refusing to eat, refusing therapy, or any other negative pattern you find yourself in with your struggling teen, we sometimes reach the point where it feels like there’s nothing else we can do.


You can’t control your teen. You can’t make them go to school or make them stop using substances. And that can feel incredibly discouraging. I remember it did to me… But it can also be the best news ever.


There is a way to get out of these patterns you’re finding yourself in with your struggling teen. It may seem like an impasse but there’s hope. There’s so much hope.


Because even though you can’t control your teen, you can always control yourself.


Let’s dive in!


In this episode on getting out of an impasse with your struggling teen, we discuss:

  • Seeing your part and how you’re responsible for your own actions and feelings;
  • The difference between fault and responsibility;
  • The role of your thoughts, feelings, and actions;
  • Understanding which value(s) you want to act from;
  • Recognizing and disrupting the unhealthy patterns you’re in with your struggling teen;
  • And more!

Need support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!


🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.


Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!


And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!


And remember parents, the change begins with us.


21 May 202491. My Teen Is Refusing Therapy With Therapist Trevor Allen00:59:37

What can you do as a parent when your teen is refusing therapy? Or when your kid stops engaging in therapy?

I have a question for you, parent: Do you know WHY your struggling teen doesn’t want to go to therapy (anymore)? 

“I think most people really want to rise to what level they can and there’s probably something significant in the way if they’re not rising to that point” - Trevor Allen

Today’s guest, Trevor Allen, helps us see beyond therapy refusal and take a collaborative approach with our struggling teens. As parents we can get hyper fixated on the maladaptive behavior our teen is showing. But are we missing all the things that are going well?

In this episode on therapy refusal, we discuss:

  • What’s the appropriate amount of support for an individual? How much is too much?
  • Honouring what your struggling teen needs;
  • Are you hyperfixating on the maladaptive behavior and missing all the things that are going well?;
  • Why is your teen refusing therapy?;
  • Is the solution worse than the problem?;
  • What happens when a therapist refuses your teen;
  • What power do you have as a parent?
  • How hard do we push when our teen doesn’t want to;
  • And more!


Need support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Learn more about this topic in episode 38. Therapeutic Burnout in Teens and Parents.

More about Trevor Allen
Trevor has worked with adolescents and families for 26 years in various roles. He currently is working as a therapist and a coach for adolescents and parents. He and his wife own a private practice called Juniper Hill Counseling & Coaching.

One of his biggest strengths is a person-centered approach in that he works hard to see the perspective of the client. It is his belief that connection and relationship is intrinsically important and has the secondary benefit that it creates fertile soil for change.

His family is what is most important to him. In his free time, Trevor enjoys running long distances in the Mountains of Utah.


Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

And remember parents, the change begins with us.


28 May 202492. The Process of Change: How Teens (And Parents) Actually Change00:31:16

Why do our teens keep falling back into old habits?

Whether it’s big changes like making healthier life choices or smaller ones like working out more, change is hard! But why? Why is change so hard? 

And at the same time, it’s also hard to watch someone go through the stages of change, isn’t it? When your struggling teen knows their behavior isn’t working for them anymore and they want to change, they’ve taken an incredibly important step in the process of change, but they’re not there yet. Next thing you know, you’re thinking: “Well, if you know, then why aren’t you doing something about it?!”

Today, we’re walking you through the different stages of change and what this can look like. Remember, change is not a linear process and we can’t expect ourselves nor our teens to never fall back into old habits. It’s all part of the process.

So, let’s dive into today’s episode and learn more about how our teens change and how we can support them.


In this episode on how teens change, we discuss:

  • How do people change? What stages do we go through when we change?;
  • What is your job as the parent while your teen is going through the stages of change;
  • The role of shame and guilt;
  • Falling back into old behaviors is part of the process of change;
  • The all-or-nothing mentality;
  • And much more!


Need support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.


Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

04 Jun 202493. My Story: From a Struggling Parent of a Struggling Teen to Parent Coach00:55:14

In this deeply personal episode, I share my own journey through the challenges of parenting a son struggling with anger and substance abuse. 

In this crossover episode with People Who Suffer, Andrew McKee interviews me for a change and I’ll walk you through the first signs of my son’s struggles and how my emotions became entangled with his; when he was angry, I was angry. When he was upset, I was upset.

The situation escalated when my son confessed his substance use, disappeared emotionally and physically, and began skipping school, missing 60 days in one semester. 

I know it sounds familiar to many of you when I say that shame overwhelmed me, causing me to shut down as a person and a mother, plagued by thoughts of what I should have done differently. I feared we had lost him. As parents, we were consumed by shame and tried to keep our struggles a secret.

Getting our son into wilderness was a decision that I firmly believe saved my son's life, leading to an incredible shift in my perspective and also many more ups and downs. 

When I realized my own part in my son’s, family’s and my own struggles, and I started working on myself, it completely changed everything. It changes me, it changed my son, and it changed our family. 

Now, years later, I can truly say my sons have a completely different mom emotionally. Have a listen to my personal story which I hope will benefit all of you.

In this episode on how I went from a struggling parent to a parent coach, we discuss:

  • My personal story from being a struggling mom of a struggling teen, all the way to being a parent coach;
  • The first signs of our son struggling with anger and substance use;
  • The shame and guilt I felt as a mom of a struggling teen;
  • How we learned about wilderness and got our son in;
  • The epiphany needed to change our lives;
  • The moment that felt like the beginning of the rest of my life;
  • And so much more!


Need support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

11 Jun 202494. The Drama Triangle Within Family Dynamics00:41:42

Have you ever felt stuck in a triangle within your family, where one of you takes on the role of the victim, the other the villain, and another the hero? Maybe good cop, bad cop sounds familiar to you?

This is what we call the drama triangle, or triangulation, and it happens in every single family, whether you have a struggling teen or not. It often becomes a vicious cycle leading to massive problems and dysfunctional dynamics in our family. When one of you falls into their role, it triggers the other family members to take on their role too.

So how can we stop this vicious cycle? 

Let’s start by understanding these roles, why we tend to fall into them, and how this shows up in daily family life. Then, there’s a clear way to get your family out of the drama triangle. I’ll tell you all about it in today’s episode.

In this episode on the drama triangle within family dynamics, we discuss: 

  • The roles in a drama triangle;
  • Real-life examples of what these roles look like in our families; 
  • How to get out of a drama triangle;
  • And more!


Need support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.


Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

18 Jun 202495. For Those With Difficult Relationships With Their Father00:22:44

We all have difficult relationships in our lives. A difficult relationship for me was the one with my father.

We’re a few days after Father’s Day and I decided to dedicate this episode to my father. In this emotional episode, I’m sharing the talk I gave at my dad’s funeral. I remember how extremely hard it was, wanting to speak to the reality of my childhood and our relationship and at the same time shine a light on some of his good qualities.

“I remember just thinking and crying over how in the world I was going to express my conflicted feelings about [my dad]”  - Beth Hillman

I hope this is helpful for you if you have (or had) a difficult relationship with your father as well. Or with one of your children. Or with anyone else close to you.

Dad, this one is for you.

In this episode on difficult relationships, I share:

  • My difficult relationship with my father;
  • The talk I gave at my father’s funeral.


Need support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.


Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

25 Jun 202496. Learning How to Trust Your Struggling Teen Again with Therapist Trevor Allen00:47:19

How can you trust your teen is learning and growing even when some behaviors look similar? 

Moving past your teen’s previous behavior can feel hard, especially when they’re showing similar behaviors now. But they’ve been to treatment, and they’re older now, so how can you know whether it’s a repetitive pattern behavior you’re witnessing or whether maybe the same behavior has a completely different motivation behind it?

When something’s unknown, it’s very easy and normal for us to look for a reference, a moment in the past that looked similar. It’s like a trauma response. But it also means we’re operating from a place of fear.

“[As a parent], because I’m just waiting for it, because I just fear so much that you’ll do it again, anything that looks like old behavior feels like a relapse.” - Trevor Allen

And how does this reflect on your struggling teen? Do they feel seen for the person they are now or for the person they used to be? Your trauma response might involuntarily be communicating with your teen that you don’t believe they’ve changed.

“As someone who has gone through these changes, I can personally say, it's hurtful. … It’s hurtful when someone doesn’t see you in the new when you have done all of this work” - Seth Gottlieb

I’m joined today by both Seth Gottlieb and Trevor Allen to shine a light on both the parent perspective and the teen perspective of this delicate topic.

Is your teen really changing? Let’s discuss it in today’s episode.


In this episode on learning how to trust your struggling teen again, we discuss:

  • Are you unconsciously waiting for your teen’s maladaptive behavior to happen again?;
  • How can you know if your teen is changing?;
  • What is true change?;
  • The importance of seeing your teen for the individual they are, not the one they were;
  • Learning how to trust your teen again;
  • And much more!


Need support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.


More about Trevor Allen
Trevor has worked with adolescents and families for 26 years in various roles. He currently is working as a therapist and a coach for adolescents and parents. He and his wife own a private practice called Juniper Hill Counseling & Coaching

One of his biggest strengths is a person-centered approach in that he works hard to see the perspective of the client. It is his belief that connection and relationship is intrinsically important and has the secondary benefit that it creates fertile soil for change. 

His family is what is most important to him. In his free time, Trevor enjoys running long distances in the Mountains of Utah.


Support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

02 Jul 202497. Parenting Tips from Former Troubled Teens Hayley and Colin from ‘Not Therapy’01:09:05

How can you best support your struggling teen according to former troubled teens? 

As teens, Hayley and Colin were both sent to wilderness, followed by other treatment (residential treatment center, and therapeutic boarding school). Now, approximately 12 years later, they use their experience as former troubled teens in treatment to provide peer-to-peer coaching for teens and young adults who feel like therapy hasn’t been the right fit or who are transitioning out of therapeutic programs back into the real world.

They vulnerably open up about the intense emotions they faced before, during, and after their treatment journeys, after which we delve into the role of parents during and after treatment. If you’ve ever wondered how you can best support your struggling teen and what things might not be helpful for them at all, this episode is a must-listen.

"How much are the parents actually going to therapy?” - Colin MacDonald

I’m beyond grateful to Colin and Hayley for sharing their unique perspective and giving us a glimpse inside the minds of teens being sent to wilderness and other treatment facilities.

Listen and learn, parents.

In this episode full of parenting tips from former troubled teens, we discuss:

  • What does it feel like to be sent away to treatment as a teenager?;
  • How can parents support their child before, during, and after treatment?
  • What did their parents do that was very helpful for these struggling teens? And what was not helpful at all?;
  • How does being sent away to treatment impact family dynamics and sibling relationships?
  • Recognizing you don’t know what your child is going through or has gone through in treatment;
  • And more.


Need support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.


More about Colin MacDonald and Hayley Caddes

Colin and Hayley are "former troubled teens" who spent their last two years of high school in wilderness and residential treatment programs. Based on their experience, they co-founded Not Therapy to provide peer-to-peer coaching for teens and young adults who feel like therapy hasn’t been the right fit or who are transitioning out of therapeutic programs back into the real world. As young people who have been in their clients’ shoes, their approach is rooted in personal expertise.

Learn more about Not Therapy on their website or blog, connect with them on LinkedIn, or directly book a free call.


Support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

09 Jul 202498. What Does ‘Doing Your Work’ Mean? An Interview With My Latest Parent Coaching Group00:49:41

“You think you’re doing okay and then you realize ‘How did I miss how much my child was struggling?’” - Hope

Meet the parents from my latest parent coaching group. Eight months ago, these parents went on a 6-month journey with me to influence lasting change in themselves and their struggling teens. Now, they’re bravely sharing their stories, what it means for them to ‘do the work’ as a parent, and much more.

“It was really hard to distinguish what’s teenage behavior, fighting with your mom, or what’s ‘you’re fighting with your mom because you’re so depressed that you just need to feel something.’” - Ella 

These are the parents of teens who struggled with depression, suicidal thoughts, and suicide attempts. Teens who’ve been in various kinds of treatment, including in-patient, and wilderness. 

They have been in your shoes. They’ve done the work, and continue doing so. They’ve grown. And they’re here to share.

In this episode on what it means to do the work as a parent, we discuss:

  • What was the work these parents had to put in to influence lasting change in themselves and their teens?;
  • The stories of these parents and their struggling teens;
  • Identifying the facts versus the stories they tell themselves;
  • Creating awareness around the part you’re playing;
  • Where have these parents grown the most? What are they most proud of?;
  • The advice they would give themselves if they could time-travel back to 5 years ago;
  • And more!

Need support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!
🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

16 Jul 202499. Why Your Teen Doesn’t Just Do What You Tell Them00:30:36

WHY can’t my teen just do what I ask them to do?!

I’m sure you’ve had this thought before, just like any other parent on this planet.

Today, Seth shares a relatable story of a teen who’s not showing up and isn’t showing any motivation for behavioral change. Sounds familiar? Then this episode is for you.

Why do our teens show up like this? Where is this behavior coming from? They’ve signed the home contract after treatment so why are they not following the rules?

“I wasn’t gonna take responsibility for my actions [because] I didn’t need to take responsibility for my actions. I had to learn much later in life how to take responsibility for my actions and what that actually meant. ”
- Seth Gottlieb

To answer these questions, we’re diving into how the teen’s brain works as well as the place where your teen spends most of their time after treatment: at home with you, their parents.

“This is what kids think: If we are not following through on what we say we will do,  then it’s just basically a green light” 
- Beth Hillman

In this episode, we discuss:

  • How the brain of your teen works and why they react to boundaries and consequences the way they do;
  • The message you’re sending to your teen when you’re not upholding boundaries;
  • How teens interpret and respond to parental actions and inactions;
  • The pivotal role of parents in modeling and enforcing desired behaviors;
  • Tips for creating a consistent and accountable home environment;
  • Why I don’t like home contracts and recommend working with a Parent Home Plan instead;
  • Helping your teen trust that you do what you say;
  • Strategies to build and maintain trust through consistent actions;
  • What boundaries are you as a parent actually willing to follow through on?;
  • The importance of clear, consistent boundaries and the impact on teen behavior.

Need support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.


You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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