Owning Your Sexual Self (Rachel Maine)

Initiation is something a lot of people struggle with. So many of us have a fear of rejection which often comes up when you’re thinking about initiating sex. So this week I'm going over the five different initiation styles directly from my Come As You Are book by Emily Nagoski. 

The five different initiation styles:
Provocative Seduction Style - You want to see their desire for you with a little skin, signs of arousal, undressing or posing for your delight, being approached with provocative teasing, playful hints or words of desire.
Sensual Touch Style - Physical touch is what you need. Caressing the neck, getting a massage, even direct contact to the genitals.
Emotional Connection Style - You respond to sweetness, romantic gestures, or connecting conversations. Demonstrations of love and sharing are essential to you moving into the erotic relm.
Sex Talk Style - Whether it’s being told how sexy you look, or being told what your partner wants to do to you, direct sexual words are what really opens up a context to erotisism for you.
Power Play Style - You’re bold. Maybe you like to dabble in bondage, kink, or bdsm things. The focus and attention in creating a power differential, either being in control, or being controlled. Being approached with confidence and urgency is key for you.

Just as we have with the desire styles, most people are going to be a mixture of more than onet. This is a great exercise to do with your partner and see what works for you as an individual, what works for your partner, and what works for the two of you together. 
What techniques can you do for each style?
Provocative Seduction Style - Send or show a sexy picture, take a provocative post, show more skin, hint at or joke about sex, engage in sexual planning, wear or don’t wear types of clothing, undress for their partner, tells their partner directly that they want to have sex
Sensual Touch Style - Caress all body parts including the non-sexual parts, kiss or caress on the neck, start slow, give soft gentle kisses, touch the back and butt, wake up with kisses or sexual touch, stroke the chest and nipples, and give a massage.
Emotional Connection Style - Act genuinely interested in what they have to say, arrange quality time such as a romantic dinner or event, address concerns or worries that they might have, make them laugh easily and a lot, engage in deep romantic conversation, tell them how much you love them, do something genuinely caring or thoughtful
Sex Talk Style - Tells them how sexy they am or how much you desire them, tell them the things you want to do to them, talk dirty to them, send a sexy message
Power Play Style - Pushing up against a wall or a bed, taking charge of the situation, is rough or forceful, demand you have them immediately, approach them from behind, surprise them, or be spontaneous.

When it comes to your sexual pleasure you do not have to wait for the mood to strike. If you’re waiting for the mood to strike, for the stress to go away, you might be waiting forever because even though one stressor might be put out, there’s always going to be another. So stop waiting for the *right* time. The more you wait, the more frustration you’re going to feel, the more that isolation is going to happen, you’re worry will build up between your partner, you might start to think some intrusive thoughts.  A great way to really help your partner’s blockers turn off is to make sure they feel attractive, supportive, admired, and there is no obligation to want sex. In couples that they

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Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone! Today’s topic is edging, something you can implement in your sex life or relationship all year round. Edging is something I’ve learned about over the last few years, but I feel like I was edging before I knew I was edging.

I wanted to share this information with you about edging for so many reasons.
It can help men last longer, it can help with erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation,  for both sexes edging is a great technique to build up frustration as a great foreplay tool, and it’s something that is going to increase and intensify your orgasm. Edging can also allow for longer sexual sessions, it can increase your sexual stamina and give you more controlled orgasms. 

Edging is a sexual technique to build up an orgasm by teasing and delaying gratification right up until the point of orgasm. Essentially this will look like getting very very close to orgasm without allowing them or yourself to achieve an orgasm.

Why should you try edging?
Especially for people who have penises edging is going to get them close to achieving orgasm to get that build up, and  is going to allow them to have a stronger more intense orgasm. It will also prepare them for future sexual sessions and allow them to last longer in them. 
If you know you’re going to be edged by your partner, so to give yourself the state of mind to pull back and not allow yourself to get to orgasm gives you so much control over your own sexuality. 

Here are five steps on how to edge the next time you’re masturbating or having sex with a partner. Edging is another technique that I will recommend that you start exploring on yourself first. Starting solo with anything when it comes to sex is really the best practice overall so that you can learn and know your body in a better way. 

#1. Stimulate yourself or your partner until you feel you are right at the point of climax. This is going to give you the opportunity to learn your body and be able to identify the signs in yourself that you’re going to climax
#2. Slow down or pause the stimulation so that you or they don’t climax. Maybe you’re slowing the speed or pressure, or moving on to a different area of the body.
#3. Wait for a couple of deep breaths so you or your partner can control the orgasm and not climax. Breathing is such a huge piece of having sex. There are some people who really breathe through their orsams or foreplay, and there are some people who hold their breath. Practicing different breaths through your orgsams can be very enlightening for you to learn.
#4. You are going to start back up and get the build up back to the point of orgasm. Think of edging as kind of like a rollercoaster, it goes up and down, up and down.
#5. After edging for as many times as you like, finally allow yourself or your partner to release and achieve an orgasm. This might be a discussion you have with your partner beforehand about how many times you want to edge. Maybe you will incorporate it into dirty talk and count for your partner and let them know during the edging process.

Often times when it comes to sex we just go to fast. Edging is not the technique for the quickie sort of sex scene. This is where you have the time and you want to take the time to do sexual exploration with your partner and I can speak from personal experience that when maybe the desire isn’t there right at the beginning, edging can absolutely bring you into it.  
I'm so excited to share all this information with you and to hear all of your feedback! To

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I’m talking today with Chris Connelly about how ADHD affects sexuality and intimate relationships. I have a feeling that this episode is going to be very relatable to so many of my listeners, and myself included. You might hear some of the things Chris has to say, and think to yourself “Hm, this sounds a lot like me.”
Chris started her sexploration in high school as a peer sex educator at the Hartford Gay and Lesbian Health Collective. She went on to receive her degree in Community Health from the University of Maine and to work at the Center on Halsted community center in Chicago as a Health Educator. In 2013 she began her research to hack online dating which bloomed into her current 5 step dating course that she has now customized to serve the ADHD community.

What has Chris’s experience with ADHD been?
When she was tested in the 4th grade, she was told it definitely was not ADHD, but instead that it was dyslexia. When she was in college, she had a therapist suggest that she try ADHD meds to see if that would help her. Before the meds, her head was like a keg party, and then all of a sudden on the meds, it was like all the people at the party were waiting in line to talk and not just a mess of noise.

What changes did she start to notice after getting diagnosed and being put on meds?
Meds do make it easier for her to finish a sentence and focus on something, as long as she's interested in it. People often think that having ADHD means you can’t focus on things, but it’s so not the case. For example; that bird outside the window is way more interesting than the teacher in front of the class. I can focus on that bird for 45 minutes just fine, the attention we have just isn’t going where other people want it to. It’s about being able to drive your attention instead of the attention driving you. 

The biggest challenge that people have is not believing their self worth.  Or not having the right tools that will work with an ADHD brain. We just need to be authentic and honest, to be able to have self acceptance without being self critical, knowing that I’m am perfect just the way I am. Maybe my brain can’t connect all the sentences in the right way, but my brain can take a bunch of information and make connections that other people wouldn’t be able to make.

How does ADHD affect sex?
It can be like listening to a boring lecture, “Where else can my brain go that’s more interesting?”. If we know what’s going to happen, we’re left thinking how can I get novelty back into my sexual life and stay connected?  When you tell an ADHD brain we have to get there instead of seeing if we can get there, the brain is going to throw a fit and say no. We need to thinking about the journey being the destination, or the destination is connecting with yourself or connecting with another person. 

What can we do to change this?
Try thinking of sex like a game. Things like, touching for 10 minutes, but the bikini area is off limits.
Maybe keep the sexual sessions shorter.  You can focus on something for 30 seconds or 1 minute, then allow yourself to get distracted, take a few deep breaths, and then come back, or maybe not.
Maturbate curiously, maybe you don’t start with doing things with a partner. Notice yourself, notice when you come and which ways you touch yourself is useful.

"I’m not worried about diagnoses. I’m worried about making sure people loving themselves, knowing they’re not broken and being able to have fulfilling lives, relationships and sexuality with themselves and others." 

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Today I’m super excited to be talking to Joli Hamilton an AASECT certified sex educator about creative monogamy. It’s all about finding the right relationship style for your unique self.

Who is Joli?
Dr. Joli Hamilton is the relationship coach for couples who color outside the lines. She is a research psychologist,TEDx speaker, and AASECT certified sex educator. Joli’s also the author of the best-selling book Project Relationship: The Entrepreneur's Action Plan for Passionate, Sustainable Love. She has spent the past two decades studying and reimagining what love can be if we open our imaginations to possibility. Joli helps people create partnerships that are custom-built for their authentic selves, no more shrinking, pretending, or hiding required.

How did Joli get started in creative monogamy?
She got there by making all the mistakes, like so many educators find themselves having to study out of their own problems first. She was married to someone, fell in love with someone else, and had no idea what to do. So she started studying, but she couldn’t find a guide to help craft a creative monogamous or non monogamous agreement that would work for her.
She’s just out here being what she wished had existed in the world.

What is creative monogamy?
It is a process that two individuals enter into that involves thought experiments, discussions, conversation, fun, and a lot of experiments to come to agree on exactly what we are doing in this relationship together, and where we’re allowing for expansion and things that might not be exclusive. It’s about creating the relationship that you want to have. 

What does the process look like?
First each person needs to enter a dialog with themselves. Ask yourself, what are your values, what do you want, how did you learn about relationships, what is impacting you in relationships in patterns throughout your life.
Get clear about what we actually want, and what our boundaries are.
Then you  go through what the wants are and go through prioritizing and figuring out not necessarily what the most wanted is but more what feels safe to explore now. 

What are the challenges that can come up when the negotiation process is happening?
Some of the stuff that comes up is going to trigger your partner. It’s just inevitable.  Learning to accept that you might not get a positive answer opens up space for you to bravely vulnerably share, and then wait and see, figure out where this might go, or reclaim it and figure out how you can meet  it yourself. If you can prioritize growth over comfort, you will come out of this leveled up, excited, passionate about growing and learning together.

Project Relationship: The Entrepreneur’s Action Plan for Passionate, Sustainable Love
She wrote this book  because she knew she wanted to have something in this world to point to and say “here are some basic tools to be really helpful for you to have the relationship you wish to have”. She didn’t write it specifically for non monogamy, or to solve any one problem. It’s a 12 step action plan for adding tools to your tool kit for how you do relationships.

If you’re not happy with where you’re at right now, or even if you are happy, there’s still so much more available to you. You don’t know what you don’t know. 

Resources
Ethical Slut

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Book:

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We’ve definitely talked foreplay before, but today I want to get a little more detailed and dive specifically into breast play. This really stemmed from when I was revamping my program Sexual Confidence Academy, and going through the foreplay module. 

Breast play is a really great tool for the majority of people when it’s done right. It can be very soft, sensual, and subtle, and it will really set the right mood for you.  If you go right into sex before the foreplay process, it can make penetration feel very uncomfortable for us. And it has to be enjoyable foreplay, if it’s not enjoyable, that 15 to 20 minutes basically will not have even happened. If you’re not enjoying it, your body is not responding in the way that you want it to to move from desire to arousal. 
You all know what I’m talking about when I say that so much of the time men just love to honk our breasts, and that’s all fine, fun, or cutesy here and there. But when done right, breast play can be such an incredibly fun and engaging tool for foreplay.  So how can we make breast play so much more intimate and enjoyable for everyone?

Where should you start?
We all know what breasts look like, and we all know what bras look like, so if you can focus and you want to start stroking and touching around the bra line, that’s really the best way to start.
If you can cup your hand into a U shape, and put your thumb right into the middle, on the sternum, so if you’re making the U shape and pushing up against the breast, you can then gently squeeze your hand.
Then you will start working your hands around the side, to the top, being gentle and sensual. We’re exploring around the breasts, and not pulling and flicking and honking, or just focusing on the nipples.
Another great way to make this a little more erotic for you during your foreplay is by kneeling with the person receiving the breast play in front and the person that’s giving the breast play behind and do all the bra line stroking, touching, and sexual caressing because that then allows the person receiving to see all the things their partner is doing. It also allows your vulva area to be exposed or touched, or have a toy be used.

What about the nipples?
If you're wanting to start some nipple stimulation make sure you ask your partner about it, not everyone enjoys it. Some people have very high sensitivity when it comes to nipple stimulation. You can ask in a very sexual way, by saying something like
'I would love to explore your nipples. Is it okay if I rub your nipples?" "Is it okay give your nipples some attention?" "Is it okay if I touch here?" 
When you do get the okay, you don't want to just flick or pull at them. You can trap the nipple between your index and middle finger, almost the same feel as nipple clamps might do. A very soft pinching feel or even just gently rubbing over the nipples. 

There are so many things that we can incorporate into our foreplay, and having conversations with our partner about what feels good, is so important. If you haven't listened to my 3 minute game podcast episode, it is truly a great tool. It can help you bring up with your partner the things you do want to explore or try in the bedroom.  You can also try my Relationship Regroup and pencil in trying breast play for the sexploration, and spend 30 minutes solely focused on breast play. 

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One of my favorite activities when working with couples is allowing them to describe to each other what their needs and wants in the bedroom. Oftentimes couples aren’t having this conversation with each other, which can leave someone being unsure what their partner likes or if they’re enjoying themselves. Couples are just trying to feel connection with their partner, and being able to share fantasies with your partner can be such an erotic yet, spiritual connection for people. 

What exactly does fantasy mean?
Fantasy is a fanciful mental image typically one on which a person dwells at length or repeatedly and which reflects their conscious or unconscious wishes.
There are some things that we fantasize about that we don’t necessarily want to happen in real life. Sometimes your fantasy can present itself in real life, and in that moment, you can decide no, this isn’t what it looks like in my fantasy or this isn’t what I thought it would feel like. Some fantasies are meant to stay fantasies. 

I want to give you three steps on how to comfortably share your fantasies with your partner.

Step 1-  Get comfortable with your fantasies on your own. It’s really hard for you to ask your partner to do something with you in bed if you don’t feel truly comfortable with what it is you’re asking for. Practice having these conversations in front of a mirror, or just saying the words out loud to yourself in the car.
Step 2- Use leading and open ended questions. If you’re really feeling shy about talking about your fantasies, it can really be helpful to use these leading questions to gauge your partner’s response. Introduce the concept of the fantasy without specifically saying you’re interested in trying it. For example tell your partner “I was listening to this podcast today and the girl mentioned mutual masturbation. Have you ever thought about doing that together?”.
You’re keeping it a little vague, you want their opinion, and you want to hear what they have to say about it.
Step 3- Tell your partner directly why you want to explore your fantasy with them. There’s always a possibility that hearing your fantasy may bring up an insecurity for your partner. One way to get around this, to avoid that insecurity your partner might be feeling, would be to share why you want to explore that fantasy with them specifically. The reality is that most people want to explore fantasies because they enjoy connecting with their partner, not because the sex that they’re currently having is terrible.
Credit to Vanessa Martin, Sex Therapist for these three steps.

If you are sitting here thinking I don’t even know what my fantasies are, or what I want to explore, I would invite you to go to my website, and check out the masterclass that I did on this. It will walk you through one of my most favorite exercises for couples, the Want, Will, Won’t List. With this purchase you’re going to get my downloadable version of the list, and you’ll also get the replay of me walking through exactly the step by step on how to complete the Want, Will, Won’t list. 
The list has so many things that you or your partner may be fantasizing about so it’s a great tool for couples to walk through together.

I’m hoping this fantasy episode left you intrigued and  thinking that there are definitely some things you want to share with your partner. But also curious about what you might be missing out on. What other fantasies or types of things are out there that other people are doing that you might want to incorporate into your own sexual life. 

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 Today I’m going to share with you a look into my women’s circles. I want to share the journey from my first women’s circle to my last one, how it started, what it is, what you do, what the point is, the energy that comes from it, and some stories from the circles we’ve done.

What is a women's circle?
For thousands of years, women have been coming together and holding space for one another to create magic, intention, emotion, and vulnerability. The outcome from these circles is incredible, and so powerful. Not only the feeling  when you’re actually in the circle, but the things that you’re then able to put to rest, or set intentions around. It's about knowing you’re supported, loved, and exactly where you’re supposed to be right now.
Women’s circles are done around either a full moon or a new moon. For both new and full moons, you can observe them day before, the day of, and the day after.

New moon
It is when the moon is at its darkest and is sometimes called the dark moon.
From here is where it gradually builds in strength towards the full moon.
It is a more introspective time and represents new beginnings as we plant seeds for the future.
It’s a good time to set clear intentions for the month ahead, clarify your goals, start new projects, and acknowledge your growth.
It’s also a good time to let go and release what no longer serves you so that you can welcome in the new.
Full moon
Is the phase where the sun illuminates the entire moon.
It represents completion, fertility, abundance, and transformation.
It can also be a time of friction, polarity, and more intense emotional energy.
Everything is in full illumination. Which means it’s a good time to look honestly at the full spectrum of what is or is not working for you.
With this higher energy also comes more outward connection and celebration, plus your psychic abilities may be more fully awake, so listen  closely to what you intuitively want to shed, let go of, and release.

How do women's circles go?
With every moon we start by dropping in, introducing ourselves and saying what is present for us, what are we feeling right now. We’re able to get to know each other, we set the agreements to the circle, and what our expectations are of ourselves and each other. We want to make sure everyone feels respected and everyone’s boundaries are being met, and that people are getting the support and the love that they came here for.

What can you do for a new moon?
When I held my circle for the new moon, we set intentions for 2022, we talked about the things that may have held us back or things we wanted to let go of, We did an exercise for the things we wanted to let go of by burning some paper. Then we were able to plant the seeds for 2022 by writing our intentions on a bay leaf, and planting it inside a small succulent. 

What can you do for a full moon?
This full moon was all about putting things to close and letting go of things that have been holding us back, or things we have been struggling with. We created some energy with water, by using herbs and essential oils to indicate things that were holding us back. We dissolved those things with sea salt and then we were able to stand on my canal, be under the full moon, and then dump our bowls of water into the canal to be washed away.

I’m not sure what this is all going to evolve into but I’m excited. I’m excited to see the transformation that comes from our circle.

Noell Grace for Numerology: noell.grace8@gmail.com (Tell her Rachel Maine ref

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I know you’re probably wondering wtf is a Dripstick? Is it something I’m going to use for my car? Is it something that is sexual? I mean, this is a sex podcast so it has to be something sexual, right? Well in this episode, I’m going to tell you exactly what it is. Forewarning, things do get just a touch personal and graphic.
As you all know, my husband and I have decided not to have children. And as of November, we were giving the all clear that everything was good and successful with his vasectomy. Which means that our sex life really changed moving forward, we no longer have that worry that I could end up pregnant.
As a lot of women know, the feeling of having cum inside of you is just not the most comfortable thing in the world. (At least in this podcaster's humble opinion.) 

How did I find out about this thing called a Dripstick?
My friend had talked about it in a group chat! She basically said that these things are amazing and that we needed to try them out. I remember seeing it and thinking wtf is it and why are you using it after a sexual encounter?
Now that I’m experiencing the uncomfortability of cum dripping out hours after a sexual encounter, I definitely get it. So I went over to awkwardessentials.com and I look up these Dripsticks.

What is a Dripstick?
It is an aftercare sex clean up product. It is actually the first ever sex clean up product out there.  It’s made out of a soft medical-grade sponge and will clean up excess fluids so you can move on with your day or night. No more perpetual gooey feeling, dripping, or ruined sheets. Dripstick is not a form of birth control, it is not an std or sti protection, and it is not a menstruation product.

How do you use one?
Once you open up your package, you’ll notice that it does kind of look like a tampon. It has a soft sponge on one end and a small plastic handle on the other. You want to make sure you’re peeing before and after using this, you will also want to make sure you store it in a cool dry place, and avoid direct exposure to light. So what you’ll do when it’s time to use it, you want to make sure you don’t touch the sponge to keep everything as clean and sanitary as possible. So, you’ll grab that little handle, then while seated you want to slowly and carefully insert the sponge into the vaginal canal and maintain a grip on the handle. If insertion is difficult, wait a few minutes for the fluids to reach the vaginal canal. Then you’re going to gently twist the Dripstick around as it is still inserted vaginally, and twist as necessary. You don’t want to leave the sponge in there for a long period of time like you would a tampon. The great thing about this is how soft it is, it’s not going to feel like a dry tampon. It is also not meant for reuse. You will remove this from the vaginal canal, put it back in the package and then dispose of it. If you feel like you still have fluids in the canal after using one sponge, use a new one to get the rest.

This has absolutely been a game changer for us in our sex life. Before I had Awkward Essentials in my life, I was sometimes thinking like “I don’t really want him to finish inside me, I’ve got plans tonight, I’ve got stuff to do today. I don’t want to be like dripping and squishing around for the rest of the day.”
I’m so grateful that there's a company out there that's creating products like this for these awkward times in our life.  

Referral link:  http://www.awkwardessentials.com/discount/Rachel10
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Bri Carey is here to talk about helping couples stay connected and keeping their relationship a priority through pregnancy.
Bri has two little ones, a 6 year old and a 2.5 year old. She’s been in the sexual health and wellness field for almost 14 years. She’s been married for 15 years. 
In her coaching work she primarily works with couples and one of the toughest things that comes up for couples is the conversation around intimacy during pregnancy and even after with postpartum. 

What are the common struggles that women or couples go through when it comes to intimacy during a typical pregnancy?
You’re growing another human, you’re having morning sickness or body aches and pains, and you’re basically becoming this whole different person in 10 months. You're having to deal with that and you’re taking care of this child in your womb, and having to navigate working, maintaining your house, and also your partner on top of that. It’s a lot of not feeling well, feeling bloated and swollen, not feeling sexy, or feeling like you don’t know this body you’re in.
When working with couples, we talk about things like how to feel confident in your body, and appreciating your body for what it's doing.
 
What are some ways for couples to make sure they’re making their relationship a priority?
Find different ways to be intimate that isn't sex. Baths together, massages, just opening up communication and talking. 
Scheduling creates consistency. When you have consistency your body will crave it more, and you feel a lot more connected. 
Date night, especially before baby, getting as much 1 on 1 time as possible. 
A little getaway just to refresh before the baby arrives.
Using communication cards to connect on a deeper level. 
Making intimacy and your relationship a priority during pregnancy will definitely help make things easier postpartum. 

What about  women who might be interested in solo pleasure, or if their partner isn’t around?
During the second trimester, you’re having a surge of hormones and that’s when a lot of women really feel the most arousal and want to have sex more. So take care of it sis, get your vibrator, use your hands, just enjoy that. Enjoy it, don’t feel like because you’re pregnant you can’t masturbate. 

What are the challenges people might face when they’re just a couple weeks postpartum?
When Bri had her son she had some tearing. When she went to her six week appointment her midwife gave her the all clear. It was maybe a couple of weeks after that appointment when they first tried to have sex again, and Bri immediately knew something isn’t right.  She went back to her midwife and the midwife said that everything looks great, told Bri to have a glass of wine and use more lubrication. It’s bullshit that this is what women are told. We start to internalize and feel guilty that we don’t want to have sex with our partner because it’s painful. 
When we give birth there is vaginal trauma. Your body can remember that trauma and you may have to retrain your body to enjoy pleasure.
Get comfortable touching yourself again.  Using vibration is helpful to wake up those nerve endings in a different way.  Have your partner join in with you, have them hold the vibrator on you,  or guide their hand. Work your way up to penetration with a small toy,  then your partner. 

Advocate for yourself. Use your voice and speak up. If the doctors have a checklist, you should have your checklist too. If you feel like your doctor isn’t listening to you, find a new one because you don’t have to suffer. 

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We are taking a whole new meaning to freaky Friday, we’re making it Kinky Friday! I’m going to be telling you all about the experience Danny, my friends and I had at something called Kinky Friday.
My friends and I went to this bar called the Gay 90’s in Minnesota when I was visiting because this bar has rooms with different vibes, and we knew it would be a good time. Surprisingly, when we walked in they immediately asked us if we were there for the kink show. So obviously, I’m like “Holy, yes. Yes we are here for the kink night.” 

What is Kinky Friday?
Its a consensual experience. There are performers, and different stations to go to and a separate bar. It was a safe environment to experience and educate yourself on these things. To give you an idea, this is a sign that is posted when you get there, "You are now entering Kinky Friday, a consent focused space. No touching without asking, no photos or video except in the Kinky Friday photobooth, no means no, yes means yes, respect is sexy, consent is mandatory. " When I got back there, the diversity of this room where they hold this kink night was was incredible, and it just filled my heart with joy to see. You are accepted in that space and in that community no matter how you dress or what you look like. 

How did the first Kink Night impact me personally?
The grand finale of the first Kinky Friday I went to is what made me realize that I have some exhibitionism in me. It was one of the sexiest, hottest things I’ve ever experienced. Seeing her in that role was definitely something I could see myself in. In this space where trust and responsibility was there and judgment was not. It was a place where you could be yourself and own your pleasure. 

Now, fast forward to a few weeks ago
Danny and I went to Minnesota and as soon as I realized we would be in town for Kinky Friday, I knew that this was something we needed to do. 

What was it like going to this with Danny?
It was also very cool to be able to experience this with Danny because after each sort of kinky thing went by we were able to do this check in with each other. Asking things like “What did you think of that?” “Was that hot?” Or saying things like “That is so hot, that is such a turn on for me.”. We were able to make plans for our future sexual encounters, and things to try in the future. It was also good to be able to say the things that were not turn ons for us.

One of the things that I loved there and immediately bought on amazon is basically a spiky little pinwheel. About a week after the show we were able to give the pinwheel a try and this thing fucking hurts! It was not what I was expecting, I thought it was going to be a little tickle, but it hurt and kinda felt like a bunch of little bites!  If you like the pain, and the kinky things, you should get one of these, it was so fun. 

Go to a kink show. If you ever have the opportunity to go to one and you can be a solid human and not be an asshole and go in there and judge people, go.  It was such a good experience. To be able to talk to your partner about these things, to be able to see and experience new things that you may have never even heard of or never seen before is so so good. SO GOOD. 

Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

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Connect with Rachel!
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Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
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Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

I’m coming to you from my office holding my stuffed clitorises for inspiration this week. This Meeting women and seeing their light bulb moments when I’m giving them this information at parties is what made me realize I just needed to do an episode all about the clitoris.

I bring a vulva pillow and do a little female anatomy 101 at every single party because it is something that I believe most women are lacking. If you are a vulva owner and haven’t taken a mirror and looked and done some self exploration to your genitals and really get to know and get comfortable with them, then you might not know and understand your vulva in a pleasure focused center, it truly can make all the difference for you.

When doing the vulva anatomy 101, I show where the outer and inner labia are. I show what is actually the vagina, a lot of times we refer to our genitals as the vagina but the vagina is actually the inside part of the vulva.  Then I go into how the gspot is 2 inches in, 2 inches forward and feels like a spongy almond. Then I show the urethra and explain how it is it’s own separate hole. Then the top gem on my pillow is to resemble the clitoris, and that’s what this episode is all about, the clitoris.

For so many of us we think that the little bean part is the only clitoris, but that's not the case. When you’re looking externally at the vulva, what we see as the clitoris is just the tip of the iceberg. The clitoris is actually shaped like a wishbone, we actually have two clitoral legs and kinda wrap sound the labia.
Knowing that, I’m going to challenge you to really focus more so on your labia or explore your entire vulva next time you’re engaging in self pleasure or during foreplay with your partner. When you’re doing that, you’re actually activating those clitoral legs, and you’re going to give yourself a stronger orgasm.

Most of us are masturbating the same way we first learned how to masturbate. When I ask women how they learned about masturbation and most of us are still doing what we first realized felt good. Over 85% of women need clitoral stimulation to achieve an orgasm, that is a huge portion.
Only 20% of women orgasm with just vaginal penetration with no clitoral stimulation. When you think of sex positions not a lot give many clitoral stimulation without the help of your hands or a toy. It all comes back to where your body is getting stimulated. So when you’re in many sex positions you’re not having as much pleasure because your clitoris is not getting stimulated enough or in the right way.

The clitoris is made of 8 to 12 thousand nerve endings, that is double what a penis has. Which means women are feeling so so much more intense pleasure than penis owners. You also actually have a preference for if you like stimulation more on the left side or the right side.
So next time you go and enjoy your self pleasure and focus some stimulation downward from the top of your clitoris on each side, and get curious about yourself and your clitoris.

Self pleasure is the key to overall pleasure. Using your voice, and knowing your sexual body more will allow you to use your voice more effectively. 

Join the Masterclass:  How to Flick The Bean & The Peen
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Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

Samia is the owner Sexual Essentials, and is a Hands in Sexual Educator who specializes in helping people create the sex life that they truly desire. She has over 230 classes teaching about perfecting and creating your best orgasms! She teaches the real stuff that we need to know more about. 
She knew she needed to create a platform after noticing that there was clearly a disconnect between romantic relationships and sex. She noticed everyone is saying the same shit, but she needed to bridge it all together. She was tired of people tiptoeing around the subject like it was a curse word. If you’re not going to explain it fully, people are not going to understand. Pleasure has been missed completely and she was just sick and tired of it. She decided ‘fuck it, I’ll do it’.

In my work I’m often trying to get couples back to that early stage of their relationship because for so many of us that’s what we're longing for. If you think back to your middle or high school days, dry humping was a thing, it was fun and exciting! Why is it when we get to be adults, dry humping has become looked at as being childish?
These days with sex we’re so prone to going straight to the point. Possibly because we don’t ever have enough time to properly have sex nor has it been drilled in our head how much time we really should be taking. Or when we do have the time people might not know how to fill those gaps. We’re not in tune with ourselves enough to know what we want and how to get it. 

The cheat code is really understanding that sex doesn’t start with penetration, if you can make sure you’re satisfied before the penetration even starts, you’re gonna be good. We should know that the stuff that happens before, the foreplay, the kissing, the dry humping, and oral sex is the sex. 

Everything that you want in partner sex should be present in solo sex. If you’re complaining about only doing one thing during sex or not changing it up, you should also be looking at how you’re masturbating, and when’s the last time you did something different for your self? If you haven’t experienced a difference from yourself, maybe we shouldn't be judging a partner for doing the same thing. If you’re not comfortable doing it alone, what makes you think you’re going to be more comfortable doing it with someone else?

Dry humping can be so many different things if you think of it just as genitals not inserting inside each other. It doesn’t have to be just having on your clothes and humping each other like teenagers. Add in a bit of a different texture, like the feel of the penis head on the clitoris can be amazing, or the feel of the fingers or tongue or just different skin on skin textures. Try experimenting with dry humping see what all you can do before penetrative sex happens. 

If you are thinking something like “Well I just don’t like it”, as much as we are entitled to our own preferences, dig into it. Figure out why you don’t want your body touching another person’s body. Try to find a way to like it.
If you’re looking for a way to start, try just kissing and teasing with clothes on, try making it a game, say ‘I bet you can’t make it 30 minutes with us doing this without taking your clothes off. Whoever takes their clothes off first has to wash the dishes. It’s really time to dig into it and fix our sex lives. It’s not going to happen from being quiet and sending out rays of thoughts, you’re going to have to open that mouth. 

Connect with Samia!
Instagram: @sexualessentials
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/sexualessentials
Websit

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This week I’m really wanting to hone into this conversation about a childfree life with my guest Jenn Lyles. You’ve all heard our story about choosing to be childfree, so I thought I’d be cool to bring on Jenn and hear her story.

Who is Jenn?
Jenn Lyles is a marketing professional residing in Nashville. She and her husband, Nick, have been married 15 years and have chosen a marriage without children. Jenn's recent TikTok sharing her choice  went viral and became very controversial. She hopes to break down barriers and normalize couples choosing a childfree life. 
She moved from Toronto to Alabama all by herself at the age of 18. She ended up dating a lot of christian guys who were all about having kids, but thought it was crazy being only 18. Her friend set her up with this guy Nick who was the only guy in her world that didn’t want to get married or have kids.  There were several times in their marriage where the conversation came up, but they could never come up with a good reason to have them. “We just didn’t think that having them to fit in with friends was a good enough reason. We just never thought that was going to be fair to a child.”

Why does she feel like those conversations about questioning their decision to be childfree came up?
There were always 2 things that would happen in her life that would make her bring up having a kid. One, she was unhappy with work. Second, when she was unfulfilled with her body, any time she was heavier or didn’t feel great about herself. When she was unhappy in her life, she would try to chase something that might bring her happiness. Which is why she’s so glad, that she married someone who was wise and who understood her need to wanting to have children.

How can social media go when you’re childfree?
Jenn posted a TikTok that went viral about being childfree, and how some mom’s dream day is her every day. Some of the comments were… not good. She travels a lot, has a lot of free time and is just out there living her best life, and there are just a lot of jealous people. It’s not that she doesn’t get it, if you’re scrolling instagram and you see someone living their best life,  I can imagine that can be hard to see if you aren't able to do that. But, we don’t share everything on social media, and it's really easy to judge people for the highlight reel.

What advice would Jenn share with someone who’s on the fence about having children
Number one, it’s okay to change your mind. It is okay to say early in a marriage that you don’t want to have children, but change your mind later on. Number two, is have a reason to do it. Don’t do it for anyone else except for you. There can be pressure from family or friends, but they’re not the one raising the kid, you are.  If you are on the fence and you aren’t going to be able to jump in and completely take care of your child no matter what health conditions they might have, then you aren’t ready to be a parent.

What is the difference between Childless and Childfree?
Childless is someone who wants to be a parent, but for whatever reason they aren’t or can’t right now.
Childfree is the choice to not have children. 

What are some benefits to being Childfree?
Travel, sex all over your house whenever you want, being able to be more present in so many things, spending your days, weekends,  and vacations how and where you want, basically it's freedom.
It's time we normalized the choice to be childfree.

Resources
Ovulation tracking app 

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Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

I’m so excited to have Vanessa Schiffelbine on this week! I knew she needed to be on the podcast and was someone my listeners needed to hear about. We’re talking mostly about PMS, how your hormones contribute to so many things in your life, and how to biohack your life to get the most out of it.

Who is Vanessa?
She is a Registered Dietitian Nutritionist currently living in Saint Clair, MI. Vanessa is the owner of Nutrition for Gals where she provides virtual one-on-one nutrition counseling for women suffering from fatigue, burnout, brain fog, PMS, low libido, painful periods and acne. Vanessa is also a co-host of the podcast Wellness Myths.
She wanted to help other people maximize their lives using nutrition and lifestyle. 
As long as she can remember having periods, she was spending at least a week a month feeling like a different person.  She realized something was wrong and needed to fix it. 

What’s the 101 we need to know about hormones?
Hormones are just chemical messengers. If your hormones are out of whack or are unhappy in some way, there is a deeper issue. Her number one thing is that you can eat as healthy as you want, if you’re super stressed out, it’s not going to help you. You need to work on stress first. Incorporate things like meditation, journaling, yoga, going for a walk,  or mindfulness before going into the food stuff. If you’re jumping right into the food stuff but you’re in stress mode you’re not going to see those effects. Find joy, do things that make you laugh. Do the things that made you super happy as a kid, even if you look silly, even if you look dumb doing it, who cares?

What changes might people see if the work they're doing is working?
Something really obvious is that you’re having a daily bowel movement. When you wake up in the morning, you feel awake. You should be feeling like you’re falling asleep easily at night. You should be feeling like you have energy throughout the day, and you’re not hitting that 2pm slump.

What are things people should know about the area of sex and hormones?
Low testosterone is a really big one, you might notice things like a little more belly fat, not being able to gain muscle, low energy, and brain fog, and a lot of times it comes with a low sex drive. You can support testosterone production with things like vitamin D, zinc, strength training, maca, and you want to look at your adrenal gland function and support that.

What does hormone testing look like?
Vanessa uses a test call the DUTCH Test. It gets sent right to your home and you provide a urine sample. If you have a 28 day cycle it gets taken during your luteal phase day 19-22, but it can change a bit based on your cycle. You send your sample back to a lab and then they send the results to her. 

If you’re someone who’s completely new to this and you’ve never done anything with hormones,  start with tracking your cycle. You can use an app or even just a calendar or a piece of paper, you don’t need anything fancy. Just knowing when the phases of your cycle are can be so empowering. It can help you schedule your life so much better, and you can see where your symptoms are happening and figure out how to solve them better. 

Resources:
The Period Repair Manual by Lara Briden
avivaromm.com for great blogs! 
Why we Sleep by Matthew Walker 
For period tracking: The Clue App 
Wellness Myths Podcast 

Connect with Vanessa!
Instagram: @nutritionforgals
Website:

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Being a woman myself, I know we are super complicated creatures. We are not a one size fits all, or even easily understood. Often times I find that men are just trying to keep up. They’re trying to figure out what makes their woman tick. 
I’ve had the honor of working with more and more male clients in this past year, and it’s been incredible.  But this work doesn’t just have to be for women, there’s such a beautiful side getting into the masculine and working with men.
I’m launching my next program, The Intuitive Man because I think the next piece of the puzzle, is going to be helping the men get into the masculine.  Helping them get into their conscious, intuitive side, knowing themselves, and helping them feel more safe, secure, and secure in their masculine.
I know I might get some push back about this, and people might think I’m pushing toxic masculinity, but no. It’s a healthy masculine energy that I’m wanting to help guide men into. I want to help men understand themselves and women better, I want to help you show up as a better lover and partner in your relationship and in your life.
 
What do women really want?
Women actually just want you to step up and take some charge sometimes.
Now I’m not saying that you should be telling women what to do. No woman wants to be told what to do. Both men and women all have a little bit of both masculine and feminine energies, and what we’re really wanting is to feel more polarity in the way that these two energies flow in our life. I know this is going to hit some people in the ego, but it’s something that we need to recognize. Men we need you to step up, take control, and take some action in your lives. Again, we don’t want you to be the one taking all the control, we just want you to step up and lead.

What exactly does the masculine look like?
It is someone who has a strong presence, you can feel that strong energy radiating off them. They move very deliberately, or with intention. They speak confidently, and are able to state what they want. They’re able to hold a steady gaze. They’re able to step up and be in a leadership role. They have a strong purpose in life and can speak their truth. They come off almost as fearless, but they also are able to acknowledge their emotions.

What does a man who is not so grounded in his masculine core look like?
He may experience things like being overly expressive, getting defensive and reacting right away. They might get nervous when around a confident woman. They may try to initiate sex in an indirect way instead of directly. People pleasing and trying to keep the peace is such a big part of it. They might have a lot of nervous energy. They might withdraw a lot more when they’re feeling emotional. They may not be able to express or hold their own boundaries. They can be the type to deny their own feelings of anger or sadness, they’re going to be the “I’m fine, everything is fine” type of person.
 
You can not fake this, you can not become more masculine by just copying these behaviors, it just doesn’t work like that. There’s a specific framework that needs to be a base before these behaviors will start happening naturally with the work that we’ll go through in this program. 

Men just want to understand what women want, and women just want to understand what men want. When we can each step into our own sexual power and be firm in our boundaries, and embrace our masculine or feminine energy there is so much power that comes behind that. 

Resources:

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Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

I know you’ve heard me talking about Human Design before, so I’m super excited to be able to share so much more about it with you all in this episode. I connected with Lauren on Instagram, and just knew I needed to invite her on here for her to share all her knowledge and expertise!

Who is Lauren?
Lauren is a 5/1 Self Projected Projector which, in English means she loves talking things out, creating offers based on what she is recognized for and solving the problems she is invited to help lead and guide others to solve. She has a unique way of seeing the world and loves mastering the system of coaching using her favorite tool...you guessed it! Human Design.
Lauren got started in human design when she was diving into entrepreneurship and going through all the programs that were out there and none of them were working for her. Then she was scrolling through Instagram and found something she really connected with, and knew she needed to know more. 

What are the five types of human design?
Generators: They’re here to do work they love to do, be lit up, be deeply satisfied by the world around them, ready to wake up in the morning with a full tank of energy and use it in satisfying ways throughout the day, go to bed delightfully exhausted.
Manifesting Generators: Are also ready to wake up in the morning with a full tank of energy and use it in satisfying ways throughout the day and go to bed delightfully exhausted. They're very efficient and are multi passionate, they likely have a lot of different things going on all at once.
Manifestors: Are here to initiate and get things started. When they’re in alignment they feel a deep sense of peace and out of alignment they will feel anger. The only type designed not to wait for something to move forward.
Reflectors: Are really a reflection of who they’re around. It’s really important to surround themselves with communities that make them feel good.
Projectors: Here to be the leaders and the guides. Not necessarily the one’s doing the doing but leading the doing and seeing more efficient ways for things to be happening. Being able to ask the right questions is really where the power lies for a projector. Here to be recognized and invited for their gifts. Very much a lean back energy vs a go out and get it.

What are all these shapes on the bodygraph?
When something is colored in, that means it’s a defined center. Defined centers means you’re creating the energy in your body and pushing it out into the world. Where you have a white shape it means you have inconsistent access to the energy of that center because we don’t create it consistently within our body, we’re taking it in from the outside world and amplifying it. You use your undefined centers to find wisdom and learn lessons and share it with others. You use your defined centers to teach from because you’re already consistent in it.

Where should someone start with Human Design?
Use MyBodyGraph.com to find out your type, your strategy and your authority. If you're not experimenting with those things, nothing else really matters. You should be learning more about yourself and then putting it to use. Once you’ve experimented with those things, start looking at your undefined centers, and where those things are showing up for you. 

Connect with Lauren!
Instagram: @laurenearmstrong_
Website/Programs: https://www.laurenarmstrongtraining.com/workwithme
Email: support@laurenarmstrong.com
Clubhouse:

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Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

Coming to you all the way from a closet in Arizona, Danny and I are here to tell you all about the work Danny is doing for himself.
As you all know I’ve mostly done work with women’s empowerment, but in the past six months or so, I’ve had more men come to me for help. Most people don’t want to do this inner work because it’s fucking hard. It’s literally looking at yourself in the mirror and seeing all the things you're unhappy with and figuring out if and how you’re going to change those things. 

Why did Danny get started with this work?
For the past four weeks Danny has been in a men’s group. Him doing this work was definitely not on his radar initially, but he had a huge transition in his life with leaving his job.  His new job was not in his repertoire, he’s never been his own boss, where what you put in is what you get out of it. Going into that mindset was a huge change, and it opened him up mentally that he did need to make a lot of personal changes in his life and the way he did things.
Danny has always worked so much, he’s always had a financial cushion, and switching to this job really blew up his anxiety. It opened up a whole door that he wasn’t ready for and the anxiety took over.
Around February, things started to pick up, he was on his way but we both recognized that there was still work to do. I knew that having a community for support was really going to be a beneficial thing for him. People who aren’t your friends or your family, people who allow you to be real and raw, and challenge you and not sugarcoat anything. He was still extremely heavy on the skepticism, because a lot of this so isn’t his style, but he really needed the clarity and the rawness of hearing things he wasn’t expecting. So he decided to take a shot in the dark and knew if it worked it was going to be great.

How to these men’s group zoom calls go?
You get into the room and there’s around 15 people. Danny was not expecting so many people, he was definitely expecting only 5 people, so seeing all those faces really just kind of made him go “fuuuuck”. Once they started to get into things and hearing the voices, and knowing these guys have done this work, Danny knew he had to show up and do some talking. It’s really just a bunch of guys who are just trying to open up and find themselves and that’s exactly what Danny was trying to accomplish. 
These calls really let Danny feel like he wasn’t alone, that he wasn’t the only one going through these things. Not only are you trying to get through your own shit, but hearing all these other people can really provide some perspective. There is a lot of trauma that can settle in the deepest part of your brain, and you can hear someone say something that can really make you realize you’ve been holding onto something. 
One of the main things that Danny is working on is being more assertive and not over thinking things. People pleasing, and fear of being judged is just such a common things that people are struggling with. Danny has been listening to the book No More Mr Nice Guy, and it’s really opened up a lot of things and helping him find that assertiveness and realizing where you can go with it. It’s about realizing the tendencies of the nice guy and how you can use that niceness to hide a lot of stuff. 

Would Danny recommend this to someone else?
He would, yeah. You have to get past the fear of doing it, or the skepticism. Do it when you’re ready. If you’re just showing up and going through the motions, if you’re not actually doing the work, it will be a waste. It takes a special kind of person to step up and ad

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Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

It’s time for a Pride Month episode! Today Allison Moon and I are talking all things fingering! I listened to her on the Honeydew Me Podcast, and just knew I had to have her on.

Who is Allison?
Allison Moon is the author five books, including the critically acclaimed sexual education guide Girl Sex 101 and Getting It: A Guide to Hot, Healthy Hookups and Shame-Free Sex. Moon is a popular sex educator, leading workshops on sexual pleasure and technique, polyamory, LGBTQ+ issues, and more. She has been quoted in Cosmopolitan, New York magazine, and the Washington Post. Her other writing includes the story collection Bad Dyke: Salacious Stories from a Queer Life, articles for Bustle, and stories for the RISK! podcast, Bawdy Storytelling, and various anthologies.

Why do we consider fingering as an immature form of sexuality? We need to start considering hand sex as integral to all sex. We have these amazing dexterous things that can create all kinds of sensations, and we shouldn’t be leaving them behind when we’re exploring sexuality.

What would Allison say is her definition of sex?
It’s mutual, pleasurable, erotic touch. It’s an umbrella term, and there’s so many things that go under that umbrella and that’s part of its joy and value. It’s really a hyper-personal thing, we all have our own sense of what is more or less intimate to ourselves. 

How exactly do you finger someone who owns a vagina?
If you want all the detailed info and illustrations, Allison goes over everything in Girl Sex 101. There are a lot of different ways to pleasure a vulva with your hands. The first step she always encourages people to explore is called a pussy hug. You take your whole palm and just cup the vulva. Your partner can either take their body and move against your hand, or you can begin to “smoosh” against your partner’s vulva.
Part of the reason this feels so good is because you're stimulating the internal parts of the clitoris. A good firm (not jabby) pressure can be perfect.
Lube is going to be very important here, you can create so many more sensations with sliding, and everything exterior, and lube is definitely going to make insertion easier.
You should be exploring your partner’s vulva and paying attention. Realize when your partner seems to really like something, and talk with them about the different sensations. Really work on creating a road map of your partner’s pleasure.

If somebody is wanting more fingering, how would Allison suggest they bring it up to their partner?
She recommends having conversations about sex not while you’re having sex. It can really lower the pressure, and it doesn’t feel like you’re scolding someone in the moment. Have the conversation like you have the conversation about anything in a relationship. Focus on more pleasure and more joy, don’t bring negative thoughts or feelings into it.

If you’re trying to build a house, you’re gonna want to have a lot of tools to build that house. You don’t just have a hammer, you need a lot of other things. If you think about sexuality as a larger project, and what are all the things we have to play with, it’s not just a penis and vagina, there are so many other ways to play. 

Resources:
How to Create the Sex Life You Both Crave

Connect with Allison!
Instagram: @Allison_moon
Website: girlsex101.com
Email: info@girlsex101.com

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Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
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Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

This week I’ve got Alex Mufson here, we’re both sex coaches, or sex workers, however you want to say it, we’re here to help other women and humans to step up and support their unapologetic selves. We’re giving them the tips to have ownership in their lives and experience more in their sex lives and relationships. 
One of the main themes among sex workers is taking on a new name, so this episode is really going to dive into how you can take on this new name ownership. Whether you’re in the in the field of sex work or not, we’ll be talking about how you can bring it into your life and relationship.

Who is Alex?
Alex Mufson, LCSW is an entrepreneur committed to growing mission-centered businesses anchored in intersectional feminist values. Alex also supports badass women in her private mentorship, guiding clients as they make bold moves to become themselves. Alex is a sex positive person, and has been since she was pretty young. She was even selling chocolate vagina lollipops at 14 to support a women’s rights organization. She’s been very comfortable with the sex work world for most of her life, so it was a really natural fit for her to step in and support people in the industry with her license in social work. Now as she’s building her businesses, she’s trying not to forget that really important part of herself, deep down she’s just a 14 year old girl with chocolate vaginas.

What would Alex say is the most common reason people get into sex work?
She’s not sure there actually is a common reason. There are some people who do it out of necessity, which is usually the assumption about sex workers, in her experience is isn’t the majority. Some are doing it as a calculated choice and realizing it is the best option, and it just makes sense for them. There are people who really have no money and this is what they have access to to make a little money, all the way to people who are masters level experts in whatever they do. It’s not that these people are desperate all the time, some women come to it because it’s an option where they feel more respected than they do in other things in their life.  The sex work world is truly a very diverse industry as a whole. 

If you want to get really good at boundaries, get into the sex work industry. You have to be strong in your values and beliefs, because you're going to get a lot of push back, and you have to stay true to yourself and do what feels right in your power.

How does Alex help people work through different personas?
She starts with working though what parts of themselves they already love. What are those things, are they things they're elevating right now, and how would we elevate them? That really bleeds into all of the core parts of our world. Once you have the values and identity figured out, you can do anything from there with intention.

You showing up and embracing this part of yourself, and elevating the parts of yourself that you love, is only going to benefit the people that are meant to be in your life. If there are people who aren’t okay with you changing and being the person you love, then they’re not meant to be in your life. Sometimes the person you become isn’t right for the people who are around you or they aren’t right for you, and that’s okay. You will attract the people you need in your life when you live your best life unapologetically. 

Resources
Pineapple: https://pineapplesupport.org/about-pineapple-support/
Nancy's Nook: https://nancysnookendo.com
How to Create The Sex Life You Both Crave

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Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

We are talking all things vacations today. Vacation sex, traveling with toys, and how to have the most fun ever.

Who is Jazmin?
Jazmin never shows up to the party empty-handed or without her vibrator in her purse. She is the go-to person in her group of friends to plan the next happy hour, bachelorette, or weekend getaway. Not only is she obsessed with Travel but she loves helping other women get confident with talking about sex.  Jazmin is the founder of FeMAVEN Getaways, she believes that kale and yoga don't belong on every vacation! Her modern girl's getaways are centered around culture, connection, and having a shit ton of fun!

How did FeMAVEN Getaways start?
She worked for a really cool company in Australia that hosted women’s events that were very business oriented, so she decided she needed to bring this idea to something she’s passionate about, travel. So during the pandemic, she decided to build her own business. She really believes that sometimes the best food for our soul is just having fun.

What does she feel like are the biggest holdbacks keeping women from going on retreats?
The biggest one she sees is that a lot of women don’t feel comfortable spending money on themselves. Another big barrier is a lot of women worried about being shy, or if they’ll get along with all the other women. But as long as you identify as female, and you have a good time, that’s all Jazmin cares about. It doesn’t matter where you come from or what you look like.

Is it refreshing for women to be with women they don’t know?
Yeah, absolutely. Sometimes we can be more ourselves with people we don’t know. A lot of the girls that come have maybe moved on from their old friends groups, or are new to an area and don’t know anyone. There’s so much magic and power in taking your makeup off, putting on pajamas, having a few glasses of wine and really developing pure connections.

How do you make sure it’s safe to hook up on vacation?
She definitely has a buddy system in place. You make sure you have the person’s phone number, see their ID and know their address. But just because you’re in a different country, doesn’t mean the men are more dangerous, take the same precautions you would at home. You just need to be safe with it, and practice safe sex, whatever that means to you.

How do you travel with vibrators?
Tiny bullets are obviously the easiest to bring. She also has a toy bag that she travels with with things like restraints for the bed. She tries not to pack too much because if you lose it, they can be expensive. But you’re on vacation, why not have as much fun as you can? It’s okay to have your vibrator, and if airport security says anything, just hold your head high and say “Yep, that’s my vibrator!”. Make sure your toys are charged before you go, and if you have a battery operated one, take the batteries out until you get to your destination. If you have a toy that has a lithium battery, you’re supposed to take it on as a carry on and not in your checked bag.

What are some good sex related destinations?
Her favorite strip clubs have been in Scottsdale AZ, there’s also some great ones in Las Vegas NV. Obviously for sex stores it’s hard to beat Amsterdam, they've got big ones, they’ve got small ones, they’re just everywhere. The Museum of Sex in NYC is definitely a must-go place, if you’re in the area.

We only get one life you’ve gotta enjoy every moment and stop worrying about what other people think.

Resources
How t

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Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

For this week’s podcast I want to take you through a higher self meditation. This is a guided meditation to help you channel your inner and highest self. This episode was inspired by a recent women’s circle. I took the women who were at this circle through this guided meditation and saw amazing transformation from it.

I have gotten into the world of reiki. I’ve been doing practice sessions this last week, and it has really been incredible. One of the things that I’ve found with the people coming to the sessions is that so many people are coming in anxious, they’re experiencing racing and intrusive thoughts all throughout their day, and when they come in for their reiki session, they’re leaving with calm, peace, and tranquility. It’s for that one hour that they’re with me lying on the table with nothing else to do but focus on their breath, they’re finding that their mind is shutting off. I relate so so deeply to this. In my own life bringing meditation to my daily practice has helped me so much with my anxiety, and depression. Meditation is something that we all have the gift to be able to do.

The higher self meditation will give us something to look forward to. It allows us to see what are the things that are possible for us. Who is the person that we would consider our higher self?

To begin this meditation, please bring awareness to why you’re choosing to listen to this podcast today. 

• Give attention to how your belly, chest and head feel when you’re reflecting on this topic. 
• Give attention to the emotions that can be associated with these feelings. 
• The positive or negative impact of any stories you believe regarding this topic. 
• The fact that many others are feeling similarly about this topic as you.
• Bring awareness to how you might feel with increased awareness around this topic. 
• When you can apply increased mindfulness to this topic in your day to day life. 

I invite you to find a comfortable seat. Whatever you feel called to, and whatever you feel most comfortable with. Make sure to give yourself time afterwards to digest what comes up for you during this mediation, and give some thought to it. I encourage you to journal any thoughts, frustrations, fears, questions, and anything that comes up during this meditation.

I hope you enjoyed this moment to take time for yourself, to connect with self, to breathe with self.
If you’re feeling any frustration that you were not able to drop into the meditation or visualize the things that I was saying, that is okay. I want you to still be proud of yourself for taking the time to even try something like this. For taking the time to connect with breathe and notice the sensations in your body. We can always come back to breathe and come back to gratitude, and at the end of the day we always have these things to come to.

Thank you so much for listening today, I hope you have the most amazing week, and I’ll talk to you soon.

Resources:
mindfulnessexercises.com

Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gm

Support the show

Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

 Denise Marsh was on the podcast in the early days and I knew I needed to have her back on. Just seeing and thinking about all her growth and her transformation just over these past several years is bringing tears to my eyes. This is what she brings to women in her life and the people that enter into her world.

Who is Denise?
She is a transformational Mindset Coach, speaker, and published author. She works with women to increase their self-love and self-awareness so they can feel more confident in making their dreams and desires a priority.  Denise knows how to rock a platform, connect with individuals and provide guidance so that others can live their lives on purpose and with love.

How did she get into transformational coaching?
It was a personal journey that she didn’t know was going to turn into something bigger. She was struggling in all of the selfie things, worth, esteem, confidence. She just felt like she was searching so much, and she just didn’t feel fully happy or fulfilled. She was working nonstop feeling like she had to prove herself, and was just not living. Then she entered a new phase of her life when she moved to Florida, and for the first time as an adult, she was by herself most of the time. She had nothing to think about or worry about and she started to get to know herself all over again.  After going through all that, she decided she wanted to help other women do the same. 

How can you start your own journey?
What is more important than you?  When you really take the time to sit and think on that, nothing else matters except for us, and how we’re living life. You have to make life what you want it to be, and when people can have that moment of clarity, it’s really incredible.
Ask yourself, what do you want? If you quiet the noise and not try to hear what everyone else is trying to say to you right now, what is it that you want or need? It might not be the sexiest or easiest journey, but it is the most necessary journey.

How does Denise describe boundaries?
When you’re setting a boundary it’s not about the other person, it’s about you. To put it simply; "This is what I’m available for, and this is what I’m not available for. " You can tell people what you need from them in order for the relationship to grow, and ask them what they need from you in order for the relationship to grow. You can have boundary conversations, if you feel a boundary has been crossed, you can ask what their intention was, and help them understand how to say what they mean without crossing your boundaries.
Setting boundaries is not coming from an evil place, or a negative place, it’s coming from a place of love and respect for yourself. Not everyone is going take you setting boundaries positively, but if this is going to get you to a place of peace and a place where you feel better about the situation, where you feel better that you used your voice to state your needs, it’s worth it.

Denise's book
It's titled Do it For Your SELFIE. It's all about self love, self worth, self confidence, self foundation, and her favorite, self exploration. She shares some of her clients' stories and a lot of her personal journey.  It's about real women who have gone through real challenges and how they were able to get to the other side.
Sign up for the newsletter to get your advance copy!

Connect with Denise!
Instagram: @denisemarsh_

Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @

Support the show

Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

I’m so pumped to have Erin on today to talk all things threesomes! Whether you're non-monogamous or have more flexible monogam-ish boundaries, threesomes can be a great thing to throw into your relationship.

How did she bring up having a threesome with her current partner?
They were already getting into the non-monogamous lifestyle. About a year into their relationship, they had already participated in group sex together, but wanted to have sex together and bring in another woman.
They had already had the conversations about what they want, and don’t want, and boundaries with everything, which made everything so much easier in the moment.

What are the biggest fears going into this?
When talking about bringing anyone into your relationship, there’s a fear that whoever you’re bringing in is going to be better than you. But when you flip that, you’re going to learn what that person is doing and you can add it to your own bag of tricks.
Another fear could be what if your partner falls in love with them and starts talking or seeing them behind your back. But what that really comes down to is insecurity in your relationship.  If you don’t trust your partner, this isn’t going to be a fun experience for you.

Is it better to have threesomes with someone you know or don’t know already?
In general, probably someone you don’t know. When you bring in friends, there’s so much added into the mix and it can feel much less safe. Especially if you’re worried about what’s going to happen afterwards, when the threesome ends, a friend is still going to be in your life, but a stranger might not be.

Erin’s Threesome Playbook
It is something she is so proud of, something she’s put so much love and effort into. It really was born out of having so many conversations about threesomes with friends and clients alike. She realized so many people are afraid of threesomes, and she wanted them to have a positive experience so she created the hotter than hot Threesome Playbook.

What all is included in the guide and how does it help?
Your Curious Intention - Getting clear on what your intention is.
Limited Beliefs & Showstoppers - Getting clear and honest with yourself about what you’re afraid of?
Your HOT Threesome Vision - The last part you’ll do solo. Getting clear on what this vision looks like for you and what you want to get out of it.
Pillow Talk Play By Play - You collaborate with your partner and share your findings from the previous sections.
Sexy Boundaries - Bringing up what you heard your partner say from the previous section that you don’t feel safe with, and vice versa.
The Play Agreement - Helps you negotiate how to pause, take a break, or end it completely. An agreed upon contract, but in a very fun and light way
Post-Play Recap - You have this amazing experience, the conversation you have after is so important. Talk about what you like and didn’t like, and allow yourself to end on a positive note.

Make things fun, have the conversation. Maybe you’ll find out that the role play and the amazing connected sex you have after your role play is enough. It doesn’t mean you have a boring sex life, your relationship is your own. You design your own relationship, this is just one of the things you can throw into your relationship to add in some novelty.

Resources
How to Create The Sex Life You Both Cr

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Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

I am so excited, I’ve had this topic slated on my to-do list for episodes, The Erotic Blueprints. Even though I am not a certified Erotic Blueprint Coach (yet anyway), I just love love this program. It’s something I take all of my private clients though, and it’s simply incredible.

You’ve all heard of the love languages, the erotic blueprints are more like your sex love language. I describe it as, currently I’m speaking English to you, but if I encounter someone who speaks Spanish, that doesn’t mean I can't communicate with them, but if I start to learn their language I’m going to communicate and flow much better with them.
The blueprints were started and created by Jaiya who is an internationally recognized somatic sexologist, and the author of the best selling books, Red Hot Touch and Cuffed Tied and Satisfied. If you watched the show, Sex, Love & goop, which I definitely recommend, you would have seen her and her partner Ian work with a couple through their Erotic Blueprint.

What are the Erotic Blueprint Types?
Energetic - About all of the longing for desire and creating space between intimacy. Mindfulness practices are really important for them. They’re very intuitive lovers, and enjoy the pause,  spaciousness, slow touch, and  deep eye contact. They like eye gazing, or laying on top of each other as a point of foreplay to have that mind body connection. 
Sensual - Really deepened in the moment through their senses. Bringing taste, touch, smell, sight, and sound is really going to help them create more of an sensual erotic experience. They don’t necessarily need to have an orgasm or penetration to feel satisfied, it’s more important to them to be engulfed and embraced in all the different senses. They also have the highest and deepest capacity for pleasure because they’re experiencing from all of the senses. They can sometimes feel like they’re taking too long, or like they’re high maintenance, but their sensual practices are really letting their nervous system relax. Things like deep grounded massage, and slow intentional play are really good for them. 
Sexual - Pretty much exactly how you see sex portrayed in the media. The person that is experiencing spontaneous desire. Sex is like eating or drinking to them, it’s constantly on their mind. They might engage frequently in masturbation, or are comfortable masturbating in front of their partner. They  might walk around topless, or want their partner to be walking around topless. They want to know how bad their partner desires them, and express how badly they want their partners.
Kinky - They tend to feel the most shame, but are the ones that are able to heal through sex moreso than any of the other blueprints. They are great for creativity, there is so much on the spectrum of kink. Kink is essentially anything that is “taboo” to you. This can be fetishes, fantasies, desires, bdsm play, dom and sub play, or for some people even oral play. 
Shapeshifter - They are most erotically fluid. They share the shadow sides of all the other blueprints. They may feel like they’re too much, like they don’t get their own needs met because they’re trying to meet everyone else’s needs, they are really trying to figure out how to make things work for both of us. They really need a variety of play. To get really good and solid at being a shapeshifter, you need to get very comfortable asking for what you want. 

Resources
The Erotic Blueprint
How to Create the Sex L

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Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

We have an awesome guest on this podcast today! We have talked about this topic before, with Coutney Brame where he took us through his herpes journey and gave us a lot of guidance around all the things. Alexandra reached out to me recently and asked if she could share some more light around this topic.

Alexandra’s life was sent into upheaval when she received a call from her doctor diagnosing her with herpes. She was left scared shitless and with a new mission; to share her story with people just like her, and to let them know that their feelings were normal, natural, and that they were not victims. With that mission in mind she founded Life With Herpes, an online community consisting of a podcast, website, YouTube channel, wellness products to support the skin condition and and online community that provides support, all dedicated to shattering the stigma of living life with herpes.

You hear all the time if you’re careful, you’re not going to get an STI, but sometimes that’s just not the case. Herpes spreads from skin to skin contact, and that is what we do as humans. It’s just part of living, it really doesn’t have anything to do with being careful. It’s common that people don’t even know they have herpes, so the only way to completely avoid it is to make sure you and your partner test before having any sexual contact.

What are the different types of herpes?
There are two types.
Type 1 or HSV1 is most commonly known as oral herpes, cold sores, fever blisters. 2 out of 3 people have this virus, and it most commonly like the oral region, but that doesn’t mean it stays oral, it can move to the genitals.
Type 2 or HSV2 is most commonly known as genital herpes.  1 out of 6 people have HSV2 and it most commonly likes the genital region, but it can move to the oral region.

Getting Tested
They don’t test for it on the regular panel, so you have to ask for it. They don’t have it on the regular panel because so many people have it, and it’s not life threatening. So the aftermath of learning you have herpes ban be far more severe than someone who’s asymptomatic. 90% of people who have HSV2 will never be diagnosed. The majority of people are asymptomatic which means you have the antibodies, you can spread it because of asymptomatic shedding, but you’ve never had an outbreak. There can also be people who have so few and far between breakouts, or breakouts that don’t look or seem like blisters, or blisters that aren’t on the vagina or penis.

Life With Herpes
"I was floundering, I was struggling. There’s no reason to be that, and there’s no reason to feel alone. All the feelings that we feel are very valid. And there’s a way out of it, there’s a way to live with it, and there’s a way through that herpes journey. It was very important to provide information that wasn’t sterile. Making a community that embraced this over ostracizing it. It’s confidential, secret, and to become a friendship. There’s been people who have dated in the community, and there are people from all over the world. We all have our unique story, but the topic is the same thing. Let’s detach ourselves from that stigma and continue living your beautiful life. " - Alexandra

Be compassionate, be understanding, and don’t judge somebody.  You don’t know what they’re dealing with. 

Connect with Alexandra!
Website: Life With Herpes
Instagram & Toktok: @alexandraharbushka
Youtube: Alexandra Harbushka

Co

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Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

This is going to be a bit of a mini episode this week! I’m wanting to share with you all a new offer that I have coming as well as a tool I’ve been using in my coaching for quite some time now. Creating Your Sex Timeline is actually a tool that I learned when I was going through my certificate program for sex therapy and sex education.

What do you remember about the very first time you had sex?
I’m willing to bet that your answer to this is likely the same exact way that you’re having sex now. Most people aren’t willing to take the time or do the work to expand what sex means to them and what their sex life looks like. But I'm also willing to bet that because you're listening to this episode now, that means you're probably the people that The Sex Timeline is meant for.
In working with clients in the last few months, a common theme is coming up around the sex timeline and how much clarity, understanding and validation it gives to the people that are going through this. I’ve also been thinking more on this and how much I love seeing the growth from the people who go have used this tool.

Who will this tool be good for?
Someone who wants to dip their toes a bit into sex therapy, who maybe aren’t ready to do a deep dive for whatever reason you might have.
Someone who is experiencing something in your current sex life that just isn’t lining up and it just isn’t what you want it to be.
Maybe you’re feeling shame or guilt around taking on pleasure for yourself.
You can hear the voices of people who were there for guidance when you were growing up in your head telling you that sex or pleasure is bad, or that you shouldn’t touch yourself, or that you should wait until marriage to have sex. 
You’re struggling to achieve an orgasm, to connect with your partner, or with erectile dysfunction.

All these things that we’ve heard as young adults, they all play a part in who we are as a sexual person you are today. The sex timeline can uncover so much for people and can allow you to connect the dots into what is going on in your sex life right now. 

Where can I get the Sex Timeline Guide and What's in it?
This tool is available on my website, and is really the short and sweet, quick and easy segue into what sex coaching could look like.
When you purchase this from my website, it’s going to walk you through some journal prompts based on the things you we’re told about sex growing up. Then it will move into things like what you remember from the first and the last time you had sex. The more detail you can go into this, the better, when you’re doing this if a story pops into your mind I’m really inviting you to journal on this. 
When you get to the second portion of this where you send me your timeline, it’s really going to help me have so much more insight and give you even deeper clarity on what is happening now in your sex life. 

Not only will you get the Sex Timeline Guide, you’ll get 1 week of Voxer.
Voxer is an encrypted app where we can send texts and voice notes that is going to allow me to pull back the layers of your sex timeline and offer you clarity and give you guidance and solutions to the things you want to change in your sex life. 

This is truly going to give you so much insight, but really is quick and easy. The cost of this is $111 for both the Creating your Sex Timeline Guide and the 1 week of Voxer support with me. If you still want more, there will be an option to add on a zoom call or even start one on one coaching.

Resources

Support the show

Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

I am so pumped to talk to you about the Yoni Egg practice. I got into this more spiritual side of sexual health to help strengthen my own business as a sex coach and sex therapist and to really expand my knowledge. But the personal growth I got out of this experience was honestly unexpected.
 If you have not gone to chakrubs.com, you need to. It’s where I got my rose quartz wand and my clear quartz Yoni Egg. I got a guide with my Yoni Egg, and that’s what I’ll be using as my resource for this episode. It really helped me connect correctly, deeply, and intimately with my Yoni Egg, and without it I would just be lost!

If you’re listening to this and thinking “What the hell is a Yoni?”
The word Yoni translates to womb or sacred temple in Sanskrit. Your Yoni egg represents a new method for strengthening your womb connection and links you to ancient wisdom through a practice that has been passed down for millennia. Honor this history and know you can connect to this erotic intelligence at any time.

On a spiritual level, a regular Yoni egg practice can help you come into greater understanding of you inner workings, release shame and trauma stored in the womb and restore emotional balance.
On a physical level a regular Yoni Egg practice can help you strengthen your pelvic floor muscles, to enhance sexual pleasure help you achieve orgasms more easily, recover from childbirth and improve urinary incontinence.

The shape of the egg is a universal symbol of new life and growth, it represents the source from which we have all emerged, it is a seed of manifestation from which anything can be born, as you meet your Yoni egg for the first time think about what it is hatching within you and acknowledge your being as the sacred temple that it is. Yes, you are the sacred temple.

One thing you should know first is that when you go to order a Yoni Egg, it’s going to ask you if you want it drilled or not drilled.
Drilled means that there will be a very tiny hole drilled at the top, thinner part of the egg, and that is there so that you can actually insert a string through the egg. I recommend getting a drilled egg if you’re someone who is not used to doing pelvic floor exercises or if you’re someone who has a fear of something getting stuck up in you. 

What do you do when your first get your Yoni Egg?
After cleaning it. I would also recommend  really doing some intentionality around it. What was the meaning behind you purchasing this Egg? Why do you want this in your life? What  prompted this purchase in the first place? Why did you choose the crystal that you chose? What is going on at this point in your life that you decided you needed a Yoni Egg?
You can also ask yourself what were your initial thoughts upon first seeing your egg? What was the energy of your Yoni Egg? What did you feel when you were opening your egg for the first time?
After your first experience, I invite you to journal it out. Ask yourself what were the feelings around this and spending some time really looking into the symbolization. 

You don’t need to do this just as a self pleasure practice. If you’re wanting to use it like this with journaling, intention setting, and gratitude and meditation around it, I think that is going to serve you in such a helpful way. On the other hand, wearing this Yoni Egg around going on with your normal day, you’re going to see the benefits and effects as well. 

Resources
Sexual Confidence Academy

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Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

I am just so pumped for this episode today! I had Lala reach out on Instagram saying she would make a great guest on my podcast and I could not agree more!
Working with  clients, as we're going through desire and ways to bring eroticism back into their life, especially if they're someone who is experiencing lack of desire or a lower sex drive, one of the things I bring up with them is audible porn.
I'm over the moon excited that Lala is here to be able to share her experience in audio eroticism.
Auralism - A fairly common kink of being aroused by sound

Who is Lala?
She is the founder of Lala's Bedtime Tales, a sexual wellness and liberation brand. She is a sexuality and sexual health advocate, audio erotic podcast host, and contemporary romance author. She started Lala's Bedtime Tales as a way to find community and provide education while on her own personal sexual healing journey.

What is Lala's Bedtime Tales?
Lala's Bedtime Tales is a sexual wellness digital platform that inspires you to take control and ownership of your sexy by mixing education with entertainment. Lala's Bedtime Tales offers erotica and romance literature, sexual health and wellness education from licensed medical professionals, and healthy relationship, romance, & sex advice from sexuality experts.

How does audible porn help your mental health?
Releases oxytocin and dopamine. Those feel good hormones and emotions
Helps reduce stress and helps with anxiety
Helps you connect with your body and relax
Help you get into the mood, and feel into your sexy
Helps you extend your own sexual creativity and curiosity 
Can help you fall to sleep

Audio eroticism and erotic content is a great way to start if you don’t know where to start in embracing your sexuality. Figuring out what you like, dislike, and things that you want to explore, and figuring out your fantasy.

Resources
The Breathless Trilogy by Maya Banks
Dominant Male/Submissive Female 
The Sweet Series by Maya Banks
Sex Club, Bondage, Threesomes, Group Sex, Submission, Consensual Non-Consensual & More 
Cinderella Trilogy by K Webster
Degradation/Humiliation and Daddy Kink
Crossfire Series by Sylvia Day
If you like 50 Shades, you'll like this series. It deals with trauma healing, Dominant Male/Submissive Female 
Off-Campus Series by Elle Kennedy
Trauma Healing and reconnecting with your sexuality afterward and building healthy romantic relationships 

Connect with Lala's Bedtime Tales!
Lala's Bedtime Tales: Erotic Stories Podcast
Lala's Bedtime Tales Website
Lala's Bedtime Tales Facebook Group

Social Media to Stay In Contact:
Instagram:  @LalasBedtimeTales
Facebook: LalasBedtimeTales
YouTube
TikTok: @LalasBedtimeTales
Twitter

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Through the process of joining the Sex & Love Co team, I have had more male referrals. Though my work is really centered around women’s sexual health, men’s sexual health is also near and dear to my heart.

There are a number of things that men seek out sex coaching, therapy, counseling for.  I find these to be the most common:
Low or no sexual desire
Early or pre-ejaculation
Erectile dysfunction
Delayed Ejaculation 
Sexual inhibition
Body Dysmorphia 
Social or dating skills needed to be strengthened or learned
Desire for better pleasure or more frequent pleasure
Sexual Trauma

Step one to getting to the solution is going to the doctor.  You need to be sure that there aren’t any physical causes of your sexual concern. You can mention this to your primary care doctor, but the person you’re really going to want to see is a urologist. 

Early Ejaculation
The most common sexual complaint among men under 40. Statistics put the number of men with this concern between 40 and 70 %
A lot of times men complaining about early ejaculation end up in the average window of sex length. The average length of sex including foreplay is 6-14 minutes. The average length of sex from penetration to ejaculation is 5 minutes.
What are the causes?
They can vary from something as subtle as anxiety about performance to something more obvious like a type A personality with self pressuring characteristics.
What can help?
SSRI’s  that list decreased sexual desire.
Medications like Viagra or Cialis.
Penis rings  are a great thing to use to be able to add sensation to the penis and stop the urge to ejaculate.
Creams that numb the penis.
Self training and learning control.
For any of these things, you should be practicing with solo pleasure first. Doing this first will give you the confidence to take these things that you’ve learned into an experience with a partner.

Erectile Dysfunction
When a man is not able to get or sustain an erection long enough to penetrate. About 1 in 10 men and over 50% of men over the age of 50 have experienced erectile dysfunction.
What are the causes?
Can vary from some physical causes like blood flow or diseases, to psychological issues like anxiety to repressed anger or relationship issues.  
What can help?
Those medications I mentioned earlier like Viagra.
Some herbal options.
Doctors can prescribe self injected medications for men who need to avoid the side effects from Viagra.
Penis pumps; a good pump can produce a firm erection via suction that can last through a love making session. These are a good choice for men who have situational ED caused by insecurity.
And of course there’s couples coaching.

Delayed Ejaculation
Only happens to around 10% of men. It is easy to identify yet is the most difficult concern to treat. This is essentially when a man is feeling like an orgasm is coming on, but can not release with ejaculate.
There are three major factors
Medical causes like retrograde ejaculation or antidepressants
Intimacy issues
Partners can sometimes take on the responsibility for the issue and try harder to make the man reach orgasm but are actually exacerbating the situation
What can help?
If you think it's medical it's worth talking to a doctor
If you're looking at working with a coach or therapist, you're mostly going to be looking at safety issues. Men who don't feel safe enough to let go with a partner really need positive encouragement, nurturi

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This episode has been a long time coming. It was my decision to get off birth control after reading the book In The Flo by Alisa Vitti, which was honestly a staple in my personal growth and my growth as a woman to learn more about my body.
Through this book I learned that when the body goes through the menstruation for people who are on birth control, it’s not even a real period. That was all I needed to know, I started really taking a closer look at my periods and looking inward. 

What are the long term side effects of hormonal birth control?

• Damaged microbiome – hormonal birth control acts just like an antibiotic in your gut, destroying the essential microbiome balance. The impact of the pill on the microbiome will last long after you stop taking it without actions to replenish good gut bacteria. -  After being off birth control for a year and a half I’m finally not experiencing any IBS symptoms. 
• Increased inflammation – if you are prescribed the pill for common period problems, you should know that those issues result from hormonal imbalance and inflammation in the body. The pill does not treat these root causes, but can mask the symptoms you experience.  -  When I got off birth control I noticed more inflammation in my body and weight gain.  The way your weight fluctuates though your cycle is astounding to me.  
• Micronutrient deficiency – hormonal birth control prevents the absorption of micronutrients, vitamins and minerals, which have short and long term impacts on your health.  -  I now get monthly IV therapy. It has helped put these vitamins back into my body that I was missing from being on birth control.
• Suppressed ovulation –  consistent ovulation protects women’s long term health. Hormonal birth control suppresses ovulation. Suppressing ovulation has long term consequences, even if ovulation returns shortly after you come off the medication. - Ovulation should be happening around day 10-14, but it’s been very hard to me to track, likely because of my years of being on birth control. 
• Masked reproductive health issues – the pill is not a real treatment for reproductive health issues. Hormonal birth control can help manage symptoms for some women, but it is only a band-aid solution. - This sticks out to me so much. For people who suffer from endometriosis or PCOS, birth control is such an easy thing for a doctor to prescribe and not really hear you or the things you’re dealing with. 

Getting off of birth control really brought a new level to our sex life. Since I know a person can only get pregnant during the ovulation phase, I’m able to not have penetrative sex during that time. Which means we get to be creative with our sex life.
The biggest side effect I experienced from coming off of birth control was the weight gain. I’ve learned to love my body in whatever condition it’s in.
I’m now able to feel my emotions more. I’m embracing and embodying my feelings, not trying to push it back or push through it, but am really feeling into the emotions.
I can see things brighter. I feel lighter, I can see more, and I feel so proud of myself for speaking up and advocating for myself.

Resources
Sexual Confidence Academy
Flo Living Article
Everlywell Testing Kit

Connect with Rac

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If you checked out the title of this episode, you are probably one of my people. You are in this energy loving world, maybe already know what chakras are, or at least you’ve heard the word chakra before.

There are hundreds of chakras that are located in our body, but you generally think of 7 main chakras.
Root - At the base of your pelvis. Responsible for security and safety, and feeling centered in life. Will create a foundation for balance with your other chakras. Affirmations -  I am safe, I am blessed, I am beautiful. I can achieve whatever I want. The universe is with me. 
Sacral - About 2 inches above your belly button. Your creation, sex, pleasure, sensuality, and passion. Overall enjoyment of life is dependent on this chakra. Affirmations - I am living a very joyful life. I celebrate my sexuality and embrace it. My creativity is flowing through my body freely, and I’m happy with it. I attract the people who love and accept me just as I am.
Solar Plexus - 2 inches above your belly button, right under your breast bone. Responsible for your personality, personal choices, freedom,  self esteem, and your power of transformation. Affirmations - I am ambitious. I feel calm and confident. I am manifesting positive outcomes in my life.
Heart - Right in the middle of your chest. Responsible for compassion, joy, love for ourselves and others, empathy, forgiveness, peace, generosity, gratitude and our ability to trust in others. Affirmations - I love myself. I love all the people around me. I forgive others, and I forgive myself too.
Throat - At the base of your throat. Plays an essential role in your communication, boundaries, willpower, emotions, thoughts, feelings, and expressing your emotions to others. Affirmations - My words are valuable. I speak with clarity and confidence. I respect my thoughts and will share them with others without any fear. 
Third Eye -Between your eyebrows. Is not about the physical, but stimulates your energy to give you clarity about dimensions beyond our world. Affirmations - I see clarity in all things. I follow and trust my intuition. I am connected with the universe. 
Crown - At the tip of your head. The most spiritual of all the chakras. Through this people are connected to the oneness of everything. Affirmations -  I am living in the present moment. I am connected to all.  I am opening myself to receive spiritual guidance.

How do I know if one of my chakras is blocked?
Ask yourself these questions, and journal your answers.
Root - Do you feel grounded? Are you physically healthy?
Sacral - Are you an emotionally balanced person? Are you comfortable expressing yourself sexually?
Solar Plexus - Do you have a high degree of self esteem? Are you confident?
Heart - Do you have love in your life? Are you emotionally connected to others?
Throat - Do you communicate your thoughts well? Do people consider you articulate?
Third Eye - Do you intuitively know certain things? Are you wise? 
Crown - Do you understand your spiritual connection to all that exists? Are you able to recognize your inner and outer beauty?

Resources:
EOC Institute
10 Minute Chakra Balancing Meditation
17 minute Chakra Balancing Meditation
Information in this episode was learned from the Chakra & Crystals Certification

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I am so so excited to have Maria Sellars on today! We actually met in May, when I completed my Reiki level 1 training! She’s from Michigan, but now lives in Florida, she still does training here as well as in Florida to give back to the community she’s from, which is something I just love about her so much.
I wanted to have her on to share her expertise on the sacral chakra after I completed my Reiki training and learned more about the chakras and what each of them house. The sacral chakra houses your pleasure, creativity, and your sexuality. We’ll be talking today about how to unblock the sacral chakra so you can embody your true feminine energy and fully feel free.

Who is Maria?
Maria Sellars is a dynamic healing arts practitioner who has been practicing Reiki since 2010. Over the years, she has watched energy work help people to transform their lives. Maria believes energy work is often the missing piece in people's lives that keeps them from being able to create lasting change. Her approach is inviting and accessible for all. Maria owns Heal. Pain & Stress Relief Center in Altamonte Springs, Florida.

The 7 main Chakras are Root, Sacral, Solar Plexus, Heart, Throat, Third Eye, and Crown.

The Sacral Chakra
Our sacral chakra is our source of pleasure. If we are shut off and blocked through this chakra then we are cutting ourselves off from really being able to feel pleasure and feel joy. It is where all of our feelings lie, so if it is blocked, we’re not giving ourselves permission to experience all of the great things that life has to offer. 
Any problems through the reproductive organs, kidneys, lower back, digestive issues, could be showing that there’s an imbalance in your sacral. Just meditating with a focus on your sacral, and showing the light and love to that area could really just make such a difference with these problems. Hold your hands on your ovary space or your whole reproductive organ area where the sacral chakra lies, and say to yourself “I am sending love, I am sending light, I am sending healing energy.”.
As women we’re so mean to ourselves, and the more that we do that and claim that energy, the more that we become that. Don’t say “I feel fat” Say you’re “experiencing bloating.” it’s okay to have things as an experience, but we don’t want to claim them as a feeling, or something that’s going to be more permanent in our bodies. “All of that shit that we talk to ourselves, keeps us from really manifesting the life that we want, because we’re always telling ourselves we’re what we don’t want to be.”

Other ways to balance your sacral chakra
Wear the color orange
Eat foods that are the color orange
You can carry stone, a good one for sacral is Carnelian, Tigers Eye, and Orange Calcite or Citrine
Take a bath with those stones, orange flowers, use some essential oils, (Ylang ylang or Rose Oil), and make yourself feel sexy
Love on yourself, the divine feminine that you are
Spend time in nature
Journal
Say affirmations out loud, looking at yourself in the mirror
Dance, move your hips, move your body 

The more that we can feel loving towards ourselves the more it’s going to really allow us to really shine and vibrate at the high level that we’re all looking for. The more we can really tap into that energy, the more we feed and fuel that, the better our lives become in so many ways.

Connect with Maria!
Website - With Course Information
Instagram: @OrlandoEnergyWorker

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 I’m so thankful for Instagram and the wonderful resource that it is helping me cross paths with so many people. Chelsea Adair is one of those people, and I am so so excited to have her on today! She’s here to talk all about the feminine and masculine sides of sacred sexuality.

What does Chelsea suggest for someone looking to embrace their feminine more?
You can’t teach it with anything standardized that can ever instill someone with the energetic knowings that occur from personal embodied exploration. The divine feminine isn’t this goddess that runs in the opposite direction of the masculine god.  We need the masculine and the feminine and that’s the only way we can live in harmony. 
When you swing to the side of being fully in your feminine, and just living for pleasure, you loose structure, you’ve got flow, but where the fuck are you flowing to?
When you’re in the unbalanced masculine you can forget about the artistry of life.
Redefine what the masculine is for you. How that energy expresses through you. It doesn't have to be this really structured rigid tension. You can soften, feel the conscious presence, and let the masculine direct your next step and let your feminine back in to really feel like you can be held in this space to have the creative artistry and flow.
Address when the rupture with the masculine or father archetype happened. When did that distrust or rebellion happen that caused you to run the other way to the feminine.
When you can notice your inner child is taking over and rebelling against the masculine it can really help you understand how you can connect to the feminine.
Having the masculine in your life can create a structure for better, more fulfilling, pleasure filled feminine expression. 

Does Chelsea practice with crystals in terms of sexuality?
She is personally a firm believer in slow sensual self pleasure, and what that can open up for a woman. It’s a different form of masculine energy, it’s more consciousness and presence vs doing for the outcome which often happens when we pick up a vibrator. If you’re doing it and not feeling fully fulfilled, or pleasured, then that’s where you get to take a step back and put the vibrator away for a little while.
Crystals hold energetic properties. When you use these crystals for self pleasure you’re inviting them into your most sacred portal to recharge. Crystal yoni eggs are beautiful tool to use not only for the physical benefits such as increasing lubrication, having more sensation, and being able to have more tightness and firmness. Energetically our yoni’s haven't been entered in a loving, healing, energetic way, maybe ever until we approach these slow self pleasure practices. Using a yoni egg not to have an orgasm but to offer this sacred ritual and ceremony for our beautiful fucking yoni who births life, receives pleasure, and is the source of all. 
Black obsidian is great for absorbing trauma from the body. A rose quartz egg is great for inviting more self love.
Using crystal pleasure wands are really the next level of this. Because they don't vibrate, they're something you get to play with and see what feels right with your body. You need to get comfortable with your body first so it feels ready and comfortable to receive. This isn't about just having an orgasm. That will happen, and it will be deeper and more beautiful than you've ever experienced if you chose to go down this path and slow down and be with it.

Connect with Chelsea!
Instagram: @chelseaadair
School for Embodied Women

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I am over the moon today, and still feeling all of the feels from a retreat I just got back from. That’s what this episode is going to be about.
It was earth shattering, mind blowing, amazingness.
The Fully embodied Woman experience is a production through Sex & Love Co.. Sex & Love Co. is an online sex coaching business, and it was how I transitioned from a traditional therapist to a coach.

When I came into this coaching world and started learning more and more about the feminine and masculine, it really opened my mind to how I had been living.
I am a woman who has been operating in her masculine for quite some time now. Especially being a business owner and entrepreneur, I thought I had to be in this masculine mindset. While I feel this has served me well throughout my life,  it essentially made me grow up really, really fast. There was no room for error or failure.
Then I hit burnout, I was self sabotaging, I didn’t want to do the things, and I wasn’t getting joy out of the things I was doing. I went from being in an extreme masculine to an extreme feminine. That’s when I knew I needed to find a happy medium. I needed the masculine to successfully run my business, but I needed to slow down and embody my feminine and slow down some.

Embodiment is letting the emotions in your body flow through your body. It’s letting your body feel the emotions that are coming up for you. I used to hate doing these embodiment practices, I just felt so awkward and I could feel myself holding back. To look back and see the transformation that I’ve made in this area is truly incredible.

Then I saw The Fully Embodied Woman and I thought, ‘wow, that sounds pretty fucking awesome.’ I want to be fully embodied, I want to be able to express myself no matter what I’m feeling.
The first thing we did for the Embodied Woman retreat was over zoom calls before the physical retreat. We spent each call embodying one of the 7 feminine archetypes. I’ll do an entire episode on these, but they are The Maiden, The Sorceress, The Huntress (Which is the energy I embody most of the time), The Queen, and The Lover/Sacred Slut, The Sage, and The Mystic.

Immediately once I got to the retreat, and immediately connected with the other women there, there was so much support and love. It was like nothing I’ve ever experienced to be able to share all the things without any shame or judgment. We started by setting the tone for the entire weekend with safety, vulnerability, and love for one another. Then we planted the seed for what we wanted to get out of this weekend, for me it was a deeper connection with self. I needed to share, and just be, and allow whatever feelings that were going to come up, to come up.
If I was not a fully embodied woman at this retreat, I would have felt uncomfortable and anxiousness, while some of those feeling still came up, i had the confidence to move through them. I was able to push through those feelings and do the activities we were doing, and not shy down from anything. I had the permission to do them entirely, to not hold back or shy away from anything. That for me is what being a full embodied woman means, doing the things that are true to you, being who is true to you, and knowing what is true to you. Not morphing into what other people say you should be, we get to be who we are, we are the fully embodied women.

If you are that person that is that goal getting, high driven, functional anxious person, and you’re wanting to slow down and you’re scared of what that looks like, I’m here to tell you that it’s beautif

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So excited to have Kelsey on today! You might have read the title and wondered what this has to do with sex… Mushrooms are more of a personal development journey, but who knows, maybe we’ll also talk about some mushroom sex, too!

How did Kelsey get into the world of psychedelics or psilocybin?
Cannabis has forever been touted as the gateway drug, and for her it was in a way. After spending her teenage years on different pharmaceuticals from injuries doing gymnastics, she knew she wanted to get into the more holistic ways of managing her pain. She was introduced to cannabis and along that journey, and she started learning how to grow her own cannabis. It was really important for her to do it naturally and really honor that it is a plant and that it comes from the earth. In that process she started accidentally growing mushrooms, from that she got kind of obsessed and went down the mushroom rabbit hole. From there it became her mission to provide accessibility and education.

What is psilocybin?
Psilocybin is the compound in mushrooms that “make the magic”. There are thousands of compounds and it’s naturally occurring. It binds to the serotonin receptors in the brain. It helps parts of the brain that don’t normally connect to each other, connect to each other.

What is micro-dosing?
Micro-dosing is anything from .05 to .25 grams. This keeps it below the threshold of our awareness. It’s not going to make you high or trip at all. You can still work, parent, and do your daily life activities without any distortion to our sense perception. You might notice elevated moods, deepened presence, and the space between stimulus and response. It provides an opportunity to really be in your life and environment without the judgmental and analytical mind. 

If someone is wanting to do a mushroom trip what should they know?
It depends a lot on your experience and comfort with the extended state of consciousness and awareness. One of the most important things for  high dose experiences, your stereotypical psychedelic experience, is that you have someone trusted with you to kind of be a tether for you and hold that space for you. Intention is another important thing, getting clear on your why and what you’re looking for can help manage and navigate your experience and whatever might come up for you. Your mindset, what you’re carrying with you when you’re going in, and the setting that you’re in. The people that you’re with and the environment that you’re in are very important to your experience. The main shift of mindset from this is fun to this is medicine. 

When my husband and I do trips at home together it’s very intentional. We unplug for the day, we fast for sometime before, we’re setting intentions, we’re sageing, we’re journaling, we’re really having that space to connect and allow whatever needs to come through to come through.

On the other side of your experience is integration. Psychedelics have changed your life, they show you new perspectives, and open you up. Tell me how you’re bringing that into your everyday life. How are you changing, and evolving? Make meaning of your experience, process it, and bring it tangibly into your life. 
”I believe this can change the world. This is what we need right now to open up our hearts and our minds and connect back to nature and each other.” - Kelsey

Connect with Kelsey!
Instagram: @wellnesskels
Mushroom Supplements

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This episode has been a year in the making, but it’s finally time for me to share with you all my psychedelic experience, or should I say experiences. Today I am opening up and sharing my story with you all. I even busted out my mushroom journal where I write down my intentions for the trip, and sometimes even write out some things during my trips. 

I started really considering doing mushrooms after hearing all about how the other people in my coaching group had incredible experiences with them. My business coach knew it was something that I needed before I knew it was something I needed. She knew it would just crack me open and allow me to just be in this space where all of that bullshit got turned off. To allow the things and downloads that I was both wanting to have and needed to see happen. 

If you’re curious about mushrooms or psychedelics, the first thing I recommend is watching Fantastic Fungi on Netflix. This documentary really made me excited about mushrooms. This documentary talks about someone who has anxiety, saying that after taking mushrooms, using this plant medicine, helped make their anxiety go away. Which was what I needed to hear. 

I went on a business retreat where I knew that I was going to be trying mushrooms. The first night I was there, we did a cacao ceremony, we called in someone that we looked up to. I called in my grandma who has been gone for quite some time, but she was and still is such a huge part of my life. She really helped raise me, she was my safety, security, she was my person. I called her in to be there with me this weekend because I was still having some nervousness about this weekend. 
The next morning, it’s officially mushroom day. We got into ceremony, we did card pulls, runes, lit candles, and shared our intentions again and again. I had written out my intentions three times before this morning, so it was really ingrained in me, what I was wanting from this experience, what I was wanting this medicine to show me. 

During my experience I saw my future, I saw myself speaking, signing books, living my absolute dream life. My worries of being wrong about not having children did show up, but the experience helped me realize that no matter what, you can still end up alone, children grow up, but I can still have the people I choose to have around me. When I came to see my life, sometimes with a child, sometimes not, I knew in my heart and in my soul we had made the right decision to not have kids. While seeing that in my first trip was scary, it made so much sense, it put so much into perspective for me. It was incredible, and I thank the mushrooms for giving me that, scary or not. 

I’ve done a handful of trips since then, but now I know how to do them “correctly”. I know I want to do them not to get high but with intention and a ceremonial practice around it. I'm so thankful that I have a partner that does this with me now. We get vulnerable, scared, we cry, we laugh, and we share with each other what came up for us. We're able to love so deeply and be so carefree together.

 Mushrooms have been such an incredible piece of my personal development journey. Being about to see into my future and understand what it was, getting better at setting intentions and trusting in myself.  They have truly changed my life. 

"What if you stopped wondering what if, and just did it?"

Mushroom Supplements 

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I recently read a book called Own Your Energy, by world renowned energy healer Alla Svirinskaya.  I want this episode to allow us to do a  check within ourselves and our own behaviors, but also to help you identify people in your life that may also be energy vampires.   

The Emotional Blackmailer
These are very kind, generous people.  But soon they are going to start being demanding towards you, and you’ll feel like you want to back off but your guilt is going to set in because of how generous they’ve been.

The Flatterer
This person will penetrate your space by endlessly flattering you. When you dig deep enough you’ll discover that this flattery is based on their envy of you. They may hate you but want to stay close to you to draw energetic nourishment from you. 

The Manipulator
This person can be incredibly charming and charismatic. They will wear the mask of someone who appreciates and values your qualities but uses compliments and praise in order to manipulate you into giving them your energy.

The Green Eyed Monster
Someone who desperately wishes they were as positive, happy, and healthy as you are. They’re going to judge you harshly if you possess any of the radiant qualities that they would like to have and make you feel bad about them.

The Paranoid Vampire
This person is over sensitive and loves to produce drama out of nothing. Someone that is incredibly rigid and gets upset when people don’t abide by their code of behavior. When you make a mistake and apologize, they’re never going to forget about it.

The Fair-Weather Vampire
If you’re going through a good phase, you have something to celebrate, they’re probably going to be right there with you. You’ll have this impression that they really like you, but at the first sign of trouble, they will disappear.

The Peacock
The person that is completely wrapped up in themselves. They can’t stop showing off to you about their achievements and letting you know how incredible they are. Networking is second nature to them and often done in a ruthless way.

The Smother Love
An energetic connection between mother and child lasts between 9 and 10 years and then the child becomes independent and energetically separate. But if the mother has gone through some kind of trauma, she won’t allow the separation to take place.

The Temporary Energy Vampire
One of the most common ways for this to happen is when someone is sick. They start to feel sorry for themselves, and when you ask someone about how they are, they will  exaggerate their symptoms to get your sympathy.

The Full on Chatterbox
This is the person that never stops talking. They are always chatting about anything and everything, but it’s not a conversation because they’re not talking to you, they’re talking at you.

The Grey Mouse
When you first meet one, you never imagine that this meek and mild person is an energy vampire. Once they have your attention, you begin to realize they’re always melancholy and there’s always something wrong.

The Firework
When you’re around this person it’s like walking on a tightrope because they could lose their temper at any given moment. They’re so short-tempered that you feel scared when you’re with them and you make yourself smaller so you don’t provoke them.

The Bully
Very similar to the firework, but they will also belittle you. They want to press your buttons. The person being bullied will keep reacting wh

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I’m very excited to have Alexandra on to talk today about prostate play, it’s something I haven't specifically talked about on the podcast before! We’re also going to be talking a bit about erotic hypnotherapy.

What is erotic hypnotherapy?
It is the same concept as normal hypnotherapy, but we use it in order to have pleasure. If you’re a man we can use it if you are struggling with erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, or orgasmic issues. You can also use it in a bdsm context, so you can use it for fantasy, and increasing your body’s sensitivity. It’s a great way to experience something you’re unsure about without actually physically doing it. It’s a completely safe and pleasurable way to experience a fantasy before going into reality.  

What is the first step for someone who is resisting prostate play?
Figure out and Clear the resistance and fear around the idea. You need to be able to open up and receive deeper pleasure.

What are the benefits of prostate play?
It can provide a full energetic unplugging. Your whole body can become energetically alive.
It can provide more radiance, attraction, energy, and charisma.
It can make you experience deeper orgasms and feel all the different types of orgasms available for men.
Regular prostate stimulation can also help prevent prostate cancer.

How do you get started with solo prostate play?
The first thing is very important is to make sure everything is clean.
Use a lot of lube, it is very important
Start out in a squatting position.
The first time you should be doing a lot of exploring, maybe massaging outside the anus, and once you are comfortable, take a very nice deep breath, and start exploring inside with your fingers.
Start with one finger and place it on the gland, it will feel a bit thicker there, almost like a small peanut.
Then start circle motions, or a come here motion.

How do you start prostate play with another person?
If you’re a complete newbie the best place for a man to be is probably on his back so they can fully relax. It also makes the prostate much easier to find for the partner, and is easier to communicate and read facial expressions. The partner needs to make sure the man feels grounded and safe.
Consent needs to be happening each time. Communication is key is any set up. Asking continuously if everything is okay, or if there needs to be any adjustments to depth, motion or speed. For couples it can be a beautiful experience to feel very intimate and connected. During this process the vulnerability can bring a couple closer. 

Prostate play can cause the penis to go limp, but that is completely normal. You’re training your prostate to receive prostate orgasm and not for the penis to ejaculate. Once you’ve become more practiced you can combine them and have a more intense orgasm. A prostate orgasm can be more subtle than an ejaculating orgasm. It’s more of a whole body tingle than a concentrated sensation. If you’re breathing into it and surrender to the process it can be a more intense spiritual experience. It can also go on for quite a bit longer than an ejaculating orgasm. 

Give it a try. Don’t say no until at least you’ve tried it once. See how you feel and if you get stuck reach out to a professional to see how to unplug yourself and your life.

Resources
How to Give an Epic Prostate Massage YouTube Video

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Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
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Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

I’m so pumped to have Elise, a men's mental health coach, on today all the way from Mexico!
A lot of us go through a hamster wheel phase where we just kind of do what society tells us, and then we get to a point where that’s no longer working. It isn't allowing us to reach our full potential, passion, or purpose. Men reach out to Elise wanting to really see who they are for the first time.

How can family systems affect mental health as an adult?
When you’re a baby you have no idea how the world works, so we rely on our caregivers to show us how we become validated, gain success, love, affection, and attention. Unless you can accept that everything was created in childhood you’re not going to be able to change things because you’re not addressing the root cause of it.

What are attachment styles?
Secure  - We feel safe to go out into the world and explore things and we know that we have a secure base to come back to.
Anxious  - You don’t trust that your parent is going to come back to you. Your parent has displayed inadequate amounts of support for you. 
Avoidant - The parent is absent. The child becomes void of responding because they don’t know how to process that emotion and they don’t allow. A lot of men struggle with this because society has shamed them from feeling emotions or vulnerability.
Disorganized - Basically Anxious and Avoidant. You push and push people away, and the second you let someone get close you attach to them and become very anxious they’re going to leave you.
Generally, there is a main theme with your attachment style and how you respond to other people’s actions.

How does a man find what their purpose or their why is?
So many men start staying their why or purpose is their partner.  No one wants the burden of being someone’s why. they did not ask for that. You are placing your happiness, and success on a human being which is the most unpredictable source in the universe. Why would you do that to yourself or your partner?
Your family or partner can be a component of your why or a support system of it, but your why has to come internally, not externally. It can change, it can grow, it can shrink without that having an impact on how you feel about yourself, happiness and success because you are in power of that. The second you place your purpose on an external thing getting done or succeeding you’ve given away your power.
It doesn’t matter about the thing that we land on, it matters about focusing on giving you the internal power to give purpose to whatever you’re doing in life.

What does it look like to work with Elise?
She starts asking them why they’re there, and to tell her all the problems. If you had a magic wand, what would you life look like?
Then she reverse engineers, she brings them back to the root cause so they understand why their beliefs are what they are. Your beliefs inspire your actions, your actions are how you show up in the world, that’s how people perceive you, that’s how you perceive yourself. We fix the beliefs, the actions, and the behaviors and then your entire life changes.

It is okay to be vulnerable, it does not make you any less of a man, it actually enhances your ability to be a man. So many men desire what you desire, they want camaraderie with other men, they're just afraid to be the first one to step up. So if you’re the first one to step up you might find you have a closer brotherhood than ever before.

Connect with Elise
Instagram: @elisemicheals_
Website:

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I’m so grateful to have this conversation today with Doctor Alexandra Stockwell, also known as the “The Intimacy Doctor”. She’s here to talk about the importance of Uncompromising Intimacy.
Throughout at least North America the most common relationship advice that is given is “you need to compromise. If you want a happy marriage, you have to be good at compromise.”. If what you want is a pleasant, bland, companionship, then compromise will definitely get you there. But if what you want is electric passion through the decades and to really feel erotically alive and have a dynamic relationship, compromise absolutely will not do that.

When you’re compromising, you’re holding back your desires,  internal experiences,  preferences, even your challenges sometimes, and not sharing them so that your partner is more comfortable. 
Uncompromising means bringing the whole truth of who you are, what your desires and preferences are. What is really alive inside you, bringing that and sharing it with your partner in a way that they can hear it. 
When you’re spending all day compromising and holding back and disconnected and eliminating parts of yourself so your partner feels more comfortable, you’re not going to be able to come into the bedroom and suddenly be expressed, bring your whole self, feel passionate and connected and fully alive. 

How do we make sure that we don’t become the person that is seen as bossy, or not always getting their way?
Take full responsibility for your own experience. You are responsible for how you feel, what happens in your life and how you navigate that. In taking responsibility for your own experience, you have to figure out how to express your desire with vulnerability. Say what you want with vulnerability as a way of sharing how you feel and then the two of you can decide whether or not you want to go ahead and take action. 

What is happening when a couple may be losing the passion in a relationship?
Having a fantastic relationship is a learnable skill. If you’re in a relationship and there is love on both sides, but it’s not fantastic, it’s your job to get some education, whether it’s therapy, coaching, or retreats or whatever it is. It absolutely is possible to have passion in an everlasting way whether you have it now or don’t. In a long lasting relationship, emotional intimacy is a prerequisite for sexual intimacy. If you’re not able to open up and have emotional closeness, then that is going to inhibit passion. Take the time to know what’s real for you and make a point of sharing that with vulnerability and connection. Things grow and evolve so another part of really enjoying passion for your whole life involves allowing the sex to be different in your 40’s, 50’s, 60’s, and so on.

What if someone is hitting a point in their life where they’re wanting more in their relationship, but their partner isn’t meeting them?
It's so important to learn how to share your desires so that it is appealing to give to you. If in any way you’re making your partner wrong, it’s not going to go well. If you’re asking them to be someone they're not, it’s not going to go well. There’s a way in which you need to be self accepting and share who you are, and also accept where your partner is and who they are. Rather than fixating on any particular sexual experience, it’s more important to take your partner’s hand and say let’s go down this path together. 

Connect with Alexandra!
Website: Alexandrastockwell.com

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***TRIGGER WARNING. THIS EPISODE CONTAINS DETAILS ABOUT TAYLOR'S CHILDHOOD SEXTORITION***

Welcome back for another episode! I’m so excited to have a previous client on for the first time in this podcast’s history.
Taylor is in her junior year of college working towards her nursing degree. In her spare time she works as a consultant for the NCMEC in hopes of bringing a survivor’s voice and point of view on the prevalence and the seriousness of sextortion. 

What is sextortion?
It is a new age child exploitation. It’s when a person contacts a child online in hopes to receive monetary gain, sexually explicate content, or eventually meet up for some kind of sexually activity or contact.  When it comes to sextortion it is ultimately the fear, manipulation and coercion with the possibility of the offender posting the explicit that they have of that child online.

What was Taylor’s personal experience with this?
She was a freshman in high school, and got a message from a suspicious Facebook account.  For at least a couple of days she ignored the messages. Then they told Taylor that they had this information on her and if she didn’t do what they said, they would tell all her friends and family. He asked her for a series of explicit photos and told her that her face needed to be in every one, or he would tell everyone. So being 14 she thought “Absolutely I’m going to take care of this by myself, no one is going to know.”.
After she sent the photos, her friend forced her to go down to the school resource officer. She thought if there was anyone that could help her, it would be him. But he didn't help her, he just told her to ignore it.
This exploitation continued for two more years. She hit a final straw when this person asked her to either make a sex tape of her boyfriend and her for him. She knew that there was no way in hell she was getting someone else involved in this. She sat her boyfriend down and told him everything. He told her she needed to go to someone and convinced her to tell her grandparents, who immediately said to change her phone number.
It was quiet for about a week. Then this man started contacting Taylor’s family members. Taylor hoped everything would just go away. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen. He posted all the photos and videos she sent him.  He then started threatening to come to her school, and kill not only her, but also anyone who gets in his way. This is what makes law enforcement get involved. 
Finally, after two more years, she gets the call that said “Yeah, we got your guy”. She hit her knees, full on ugly crying. She thought, holy shit, it’s over, it’s really over.
Now Taylor is engaged, and is figuring out who she is. Working with me she’s focusing on her sex life, her body image, and sexual and personal power. 

If you’re listening and are going through something similar or know someone who is, the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children’s website is missingkids.org, click on “GET HELP” and from there use the cyber tipline to report this type of abuse. An analyst will reach out to you and start a case if there hasn’t been one started.
Know you’re not alone. It’s so easy to get stuck in those feelings of hopelessness, and feeling like this is going to be the rest of your life, but it won’t be. There are people out there who are willing to help you, you just have to find them.

Connect with Taylor
Email: tsines.consultant@gmail.com
Team HOPE

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This episode is sparked from all the questions I get from people. Whether it’s at the parties I do, my DMs or just people I meet out and about.

How to pick a sex toy? How do I even know where to start?
I’ve been in the “sex toy slinging” industry for over 8 years now, the top selling category of toys that I have is clitoral toys. Over 85% of women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm, so only about 20% of women are going to orgasm from vaginal penetration.

So when you’re thinking about what kind of sex toy you want to being in the bedroom, ask yourself “how to I experience pleasure?”
If you don’t yet have the answer to that question, I’m going to encourage you to explore with yourself first with your hands instead of jumping right to a toy.
Really spend some time with yourself, spend time before hand even to get yourself in that erotic mindset. Set the mood, play a sexy playlist, or listen to some erotica, maybe you want to watch porn, just do what gets you in that pleasure space.

If you’ve done some exploring and you’re enjoying that clitoral stimulation, or if you’ve had an orgasm before and you know it came from clitoral stimulation, you’re going to want to start with a clitoral toy. If you’re doing this pleasure play and you go for some vaginal stimulation, you insert a finger or two, and you’re feeling around there, how does that feel? How does it feel when you’re making a come here motion inside and stimulating your g-spot?
I want you to do this exploration first so that you don’t end up buying toys that just don’t end up making you feel good.
 
If you’re new to this area, I don’t want you going out there and buying the biggest, baddest, most bells and whistles type of toy. That’s probably not the best start for you. I’m going to recommend something like a bullet, or a wand, that are for external play. I’m more of a fan of wand type toys because they’re so versatile. I also recommend something that is USB rechargeable. Once you've had some experience with toys then you can try some of the ones that suck and blow and spin a thrust. I wouldn't really start with those toys.

Ask yourself, how do you want to use the toy?
Are you wanting to only use it for solo play or with a partner? If you're wanting to use it with a partner, are you wanting to use it just during foreplay, or during foreplay and sex?
If you're wanting one for all of the above, again I'm going to recommend a wand, because they're really a great toy in the bedroom with partner play to be able to add clitoral stimulation during the positions where you're not getting clitoral stimulation. C-rings are also great for partner play. They're a win win for both people.

If you're not achieving an orgasm during sex, it could mean that you're not getting any clitoral stimulation or not getting the stimulation that it needs. So adding wands or c-rings to your partner play is going to be the best bet to get to the orgasm that you're so likely craving.

My challenge to you is to go out and get a new toy, treat yourself!  

Resources
Step by Step Guide & Meditation for Self Pleasure
Bellesa Podcast
Lala's Bedtime Tales
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Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

Today I have on a very special guest today, Dr. Mathews! Dr. Mathews is a board certified OBGYN, minimally invasive gynecology surgeon, and NAMS certified menopause specialist.
As a mother and a wife herself, her goal is to help women of all ages to maintain their own quality of life while keeping up with the day to day needs of their families and careers. Her practice emphasizes the importance of patient education and empowerment to make the best possible decisions for themselves and their bodies.

It’s about creating a relationship where women feel open to talk about it without being judged about it. There’s just an idea that that's just what happens when you get older and there’s nothing we can do about it. But there’s a lot we can do about it, menopause doesn’t have to be a death sentence, we can still have a very robust life in all different ways, in health, sexual health and everything.

Would she say that libido is more of a physical or mental problem typically for women?
It’s everything. It’s way more complicated than people realize. Especially for women the amount of things that need to come together to even get to the point of arousal, there are just so many aspects at play.

What are changes that women might see before menopause?
Menopause by definition is one whole year of not having a period during a natural unhindered cycle.
Perimenopause is the time leading up to it and that can start 5-7 years before actual menopause. Those years that can be filled with the symptoms that are typically known as menopausal symptoms without much or any disruption to your cycle.
Some of those symptoms are night sweats, hot flashes, difficulty sleeping, mood swings, irritability, depression and anxiety, weight gain. You might also experience vaginal dryness, less elasticity, more frequent vaginal infections or UTIs. 

What would she recommend for someone who is experiencing dryness?
You want a good quality lubricant. The considerations you’d take for something you’re going to put on your face, you need to do the same for your vagina. You want something that isn’t going to disrupt the microbiome's natural balance of things.

What tips would she give for someone looking to maintain a healthy sex life?
 Sometimes it’s a hormonal change and she starts local vaginal estrogen therapy. That’s one of the more common issues and you can correct that on a very basic level.
Self exploration! No one knows your body better than yourself. If anyone is going to figure out what’s going to help you get aroused or stimulate your anatomy, what you need to have on your mind, or what you need to watch, hear, or read to inspire those thoughts, that’s you! You can’t expect a partner to read your mind to that level. And that stuff can change, what worked for you in your 20’s might not work for you always.

If you’re looking for a doctor that is open to talking about this kind of thing?
The North American Menopause Society has a database of all the certified practitioners. They have to have conferences every year or take a crazy exam, so they’re definitely going to be on top of these things. They’re going to not only know about menopause but also sexual health, hormonal and physiological changes.

Menopause doesn't need to be the end of anything. It might not be an easy journey, but with the right resources, you can maintain a happy and healthy life and sex life.

Connect with Dr. Mathews
Website
North

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I’m super excited about this episode! I have a doctor on today, and he’s here to talk about the medical benefits of vibrators and targeted vibrations. And ways to treat various ailments such as pelvic floor discomfort, vulva pain, discomfort during sex, vaginal dryness, and erectile dysfunction.

Dr. Soum Rakshit is the Co-Founder & CEO of award-winning sexual health company, MysteryVibe. Their mission is to make sexual health accessible to all – across all ages, genders & orientations.
In his role as CEO of MysteryVibe, he focuses on pushing the boundaries on R&D, customer experience and supporting their long-term goal of making sexual health an integral part of our overall health. Soumyadip passionately believes that by empowering people with actionable knowledge & purposeful innovation is the way to make this happen.

Why does he think it is that it is still so taboo to talk about these things?
A big challenge is often people aren’t aware of what they might be struggling with, or they don’t know that there can be solutions. And when they do seek solutions, the specialists they go to, might not know about all the solutions out there. It really comes down to lack of education and awareness. 

Often people think that their problems or pain are normal things that everyone experiences. It may be common, but it isn’t normal. You shouldn’t be experiencing pain during penetrative sex or any stimulation really. Men with ED will often think that if they don’t do anything about it, the problem will go away, but what ends up happening is it just continues to get worse, especially with anxiety now attached to it.

How often does he suggest people work with sex therapist, coach, or counselor?
As often as he can. 
‘We are engineers, we can build a really good product.  We are not chemists, we can’t make lubes. We’re not therapists, we can’t do therapy. But, there are amazing companies that do make lube. There are great places to find therapists, for whatever is the right match for you.  It’s finding the right collection of solutions, and making those available to people so people can easily get those.’

Like lubricants for women with menopause, often a first step can just be Lubricant for dryness. lube is a $10 investment that can sometimes significantly change the quality of life. It’s normal, it’s healthy, it’s not something kinky and special for very niche audiences.  Things like lubes, vibrators, or gels are very common things that anyone can try to see if that’s the solution for them.

What makes MysteryVibe products different than what you'd find in a sex shop?
They build everything with doctors to medical standards. The products have specific purposes. One mimics what a pelvic floor therapist would do, or one mimics what a urologist would do to stimulate the prostate. Every device is designed by the doctors and clinicians in that field who have a standard of care that they then recreate using adaptable devices that bend and reach the points that need vibration for blood flow. 

Where does he see the world of sex toys heading?
He hopes there will be more compliance, safety, and regulation focus. Not necessarily the same regulations they have to follow as a medical device company, but that more brands will use safety and following ISO standards as part of their marketing. We need it to be safe as a standard and not as an exception.  Brands should be opting in and educating their customers. There can still be many features, but they should all be safe to use.

Resources
Myster

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Today you’ll be hearing from a different voice, my husband Danny. He’s here to talk about his journey in men’s developmental work, and what it’s been like for him so far.

Why did Danny start men's work?
In my background with my friends, it’s been so much of a frat boy kind of lifestyle. And that’s just how I always thought men were. You hold back tears, and you talk shit to each other.  You don’t understand or express feelings.

What is men’s work?
The biggest thing for me was getting introduced too it because Rachel had been doing this work with Sex and Love Co, she was light years ahead of me. It really made me curious on what it tended to be like, what these retreats were like, and what these zoom calls were. It was a curiosity, that’s how it all started.
I got on a zoom call with the conscious bro himself, Jordan Bowditch with Sex and Love Co. The call was just this guy bullshittin' on a zoom, asking what I was looking to do, and what I wanted to do with my life.
The first time I jumped into a men’s group was September of 2021. It was zoom calls once a week with about 10 guys. Some of them had already been in their journey, but I hadn’t experienced any of this before. Right off the bat it was “let’s share, who’s willing to share and open up to all these strangers on zoom”. I was the last one to share in the first few zoom calls, or wasn’t expressing or saying what I was feeling, I was just watering everything down. 
I took the next men’s group off. I started settling into my new career, I was learning all the things, and getting good at it. I then jumped into the men’s group in August of 2022, Jordan was really pushing me to go to a retreat. Finally I had a call with Jordan and I was really in a “fuck yeah” mood for the whole call, so I said yes, I’m going to this retreat. Rachel had already gone to a couple, and she always come home so inspired, and her body and her mind were so clear to her, so I said it’s my fucking turn.

What was the retreat like?
It was nerve wracking as fuck. I don’t know any of these guys, I’ve never been on a retreat, I don’t know what to expect.  But getting to know these guys was awesome, we were all there for the same reason, we’re ready to jump in and take this new growth back home to our loved ones and families. Everyone is there and everyone is ready.
I won’t sugar coat the fact that that time there was the most exhilarating shit I’ve ever gone through in my life. There were tears and laughs and laughs. I feel like I grew a foot taller on just how much I brought back with me.

What did you learn?
All the shit that you can really accumulate as a human being without saying a single word, all the shit that can build up and completely hide away, you just can’t do that, you break yourself down after so long.  Being able to express your feelings in front of whoever you need to is really fucking powerful. Let the shit go that you know is holding you back. That’s really the biggest thing I learned, to better myself, and better my abilities as a lover, and as a friend, I need to let my shit go.

What about the post retreat life?
The “hangover” post retreat definitely hit a little bit. The first couple of days you feel like you’re on top of the world, you’re doing everything right and making all the right moves, but it’s so easy to drop back into old habits and tendencies you’ve embedded in your brain. I needed to be more present, more present in life, and with Rachel, because who the fuck wants to sit next to a zombie? It’s such a game changer to be more present a

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Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

Hey guys! This week you'll be hearing a live recording of a Masterclass Danny and I did called How to Sex up your Space!

Why is setting and sexing up your space so important?
Women generally fall into the category of responsive desire, meaning we need something to happen for our bodies to respond to that thing for us to then feel turned on. Whereas men generally fall into spontaneous desire to where they are just walking through life and it's like a lightning bolt hits them and they're like, boom, I'm turned on. 
I had entered into our space and literally like everything that I saw, I could immediately feel the warmth from the space here. I was able to walk into that experience and just already feel so seen and so held and like frankly turned on like, ready to play, ready to do the damn thing. 

How do you start to sex up your space?
The first one we really put together is a Bluetooth speaker, and just play a sexy to you playlist.
Next, get yourself some bedding that feels sexy to you. Get whatever color you want, fuzzy blankets, velvety textures. Think sexy, sensual textures that feel really good to you.
The most important thing, and something that is on our current list to get ourselves, is a waterproof blanket. Easy to wash. They're still soft. It's not like that plasticity sort of material, it's still plush, it's cozy.
Another thing is color changing light bulbs. They come with this remote and there are all these different colors. So you got reds, oranges, blues, greens and you can dim them down, you can brighten them up and that itself changes the entire scenery of the room.
Add in some yummy smells to the room. If it's essential oils, I would recommend lavender, rose, and then ylang ylang. If you're gonna go with candles, you know find some nontoxic scented candles that would work for you. And then incense, which is probably my favorite. I feel like they just fill the room the most. If you want to go more on the safety side of candles, flameless candles. So they're kind of scattered all throughout the room, but again, it just adds a little bit more to your ambience.
Having the room warm is basically essential. So if you don't wanna turn up your thermostat or anything like that, you can add in a space heater. If I'm frigidly cold it's really hard for me to get in the mood or to feel sexy or to want to take my clothes off or want to get out of my lingerie, so adding in a space heater is necessary.
Artwork, things that inspire eroticism for you. Things that like you see and you feel are are sexy to you.

We're in this space, what the hell do we do now?
That's what The Connected Couple is for.
This program that we're running is going to look very similar to this, except we're not going to be just teaching you the whole time, we're gonna be teaching you a thing and then your you and your partner are gonna be doing the thing. It is also so inspiring to hear other couples sharing, to hear that another couple is going through a struggle that maybe you went through, or are going through now, but you can relate.
When you feel connected sexually in your relationship, everything else just starts to fall into place. The mental health starts to get better, the physical health starts to get better. Sex really is the center of everything and when that is good, everything else is gonna be good.

Resources
Sex Up Your Space

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Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
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Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

This week Danny and I are back and talking about our experience with couples coaching and how it led to The Connected Couple!

Why did we do couple's coaching?
I was so excited to be able to do this because for for me being in this work, being on the other side of it I knew was going to be a different experience. Even though I had introduced some of these things to Danny before, it's different when you're being facilitated through something like this.

Why was it different?
I really liked that because it was just so much different than just us kind of sitting down watching TV and then all of a sudden one of us is like hey what do you acknowledge about me? What do you love about me? It’s keeping awkwardness out of bringing it up in just any conversation. So it's so much easier to just let things fly.

What happened in this coaching?
Eye gazing was something that we did almost every single call and is such a great technique for us to be able to come together. 
There's other people in the group and they were doing it too, these were all couples from all over the world. Some people were nomads, like literally zooming from their Rvs, like talk about no excuses to do something like this. On our very first call, we got to learn a little bit about each other and all of us were going through the same things. We or we had been through the same things that each other were going through.

Was there any resistance to participate?
I wouldn't say that I was holding too much back. I definitely felt that being in that container, it was so much easier to allow myself to kind of just let things out and be a part of it. Just bring everything in and let everything out because at that point, if you're trying to hold something back, but then you're seeing everyone else just express themselves in a way that really is just truly vulnerable, then why not just why not keep going with it?
These are things that you think about on the daily but then to express them and share them while looking your partner in the eye and not being able to look away and like just being seen and heard in myself and just trusting that your partner is going to receive what you’re saying. 

 What have been the biggest benefits?
Just trusting in each other.  If you have something to say, you trust that the other person is going to recognize what you're going through and express back  the gratitude that you're expressing that feeling.
That has carried over in our relationship even now after this program is over. It's really set the tone and set the stage for us to continue having these conversations and more in depth conversations. We also discovered so much about ourselves sexually. We got to talk through fantasies and we learned the blueprints of each other's sexual languages, all these things.

How would you describe The Connected Couple?
If you are looking to just upgrade your relationship and life without really feeling like it's on the brink of disaster. I feel like it's just finding out more about you and more about your partner and just taking that and running with it. 
Even after the program is complete, you're gonna be able to take these tools and things that we're teaching you and carry them on into your life. It’s also for couples that are wanting to learn more about their sexual selves or wanting to learn more about their partner, they're wanting to maybe explore more of their kinks and things like that. All of that is covered in a connected couple.

Resources

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Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

I have another wonderful guest on with me today, Catherine Magee. She’s here to start the conversation around women's sexual health and pleasure and why we should all be talking about it!

How did she get into the sexual health industry?
I've spent the majority of my career in the beauty industry. One of the reasons I've always loved it is because it really focused on having women build their confidence, feeling beautiful, and doing all these great things for people while not taking it too seriously. I just couldn't believe what a difference there is. In beauty, we are trying to create beautiful brands and beautiful products that improve women's beauty and wellness and make them feel confident. And sexual wellness, particularly personal lubricants, doesn't do that at all.
Every time we talk to somebody about that experience of going down the aisle in the supermarket they feel ashamed as if something is wrong with them. And we just said this should not be the case, we need to change that.

Why is including certain things in your lubricant so important to you?
We create a product that's lubricating and moisturizing and silky but also good for the vagina. What we've learned through this process is the overlap between sexual pleasure and sexual health and how women are using a lubricant because we feel like we need it. But the fact of the matter is we can all improve our sexual pleasure with using this product and by improving our sexual pleasure, we're actually improving our reproductive health.

Why is using Lubricant important?
I think number one, like, let's focus on the pleasure challenge. We know through various studies and statistics that lubricant improves orgasm because you're just reducing any kind of friction. Using lubricant also decreases your chances of having urinary tract infections. Over 80% of urinary tract infections are correlated with sexual intercourse. So for either one of those reasons, it's an easily available product to try and bring into the bedroom.  

Are there any things that you feel the beauty industry has taught us when it comes to sexual health?
I often compare it to mascara, mascara companies don't say, oh, your eyelashes are brittle and dry and they look terrible. They say wear mascara, it'll make your eyelashes thicker and it'll make you feel beautiful and confident. That message Is what the beauty industry, you know, the good brands are communicating and that is not happening in sexual health.

What products do you offer at Playground?
We consider ourselves a science based sexual wellness company. And so our first line of products are libido enhancing, clean personal lubricants. Our one big difference for our water based brand is that a little goes a long way. We use an ingredient that's a silicone like plant based ingredient because we know that women don't like it sticky, and we don't like to reapply, we want it to last a long time. And we thought that's what was not happening, so we made it happen. 

Can men use these products too?
Playground products are for everybody. They're just specially formulated for vaginas because vaginas have so much more complexity to them and we just wanted to be really thoughtful about that. So what I say is if it's safe for a vagina, then it's safe for everything.

I always say we take our products very seriously, but we don't take ourselves very seriously. We say we're up for fun, down for anything. Nice girls finish first. 

Connect with Playground!
Instagram - @Hello.Playground

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Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
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Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

This week I've got Elan on all the way from San Diego! She's here to talk about having a pleasure led life, and how she came into sexual empowerment after religious trauma.

Who is Elan?
Elan is a self expression and sexual empowerment coach who specializes in helping individuals embody their most confident selves in life, relationships, and business. 

How did she get to where she is now?
Her parents, while not religious themselves, would force her to go to church because they thought that would give her a good life and allow her to be raised with good morals and ethics and all of that.
As a result from all of these the ways that she was raised, she learned how to really silence her own voice and her own opinions to keep the peace and to be the harmonizer. She would notice that in every romantic relationship she was feeling like she couldn't be herself, and there's so many layers to that;  fear of intimacy, ultimately not knowing how to communicate and coming to these like big, big statements of like, 'Okay, well let's just break up because we clearly are not in alignment.'
She also experienced things like faking orgasms, not being herself, not even knowing that she could orgasm with a partner, not knowing that she could actually experience pleasure with anybody, thinking that she was broken.
Then she entered into a relationship with her now partner Shane which completely flipped her world upside down.  His presence in her life just showed her so much of her own shit and showed her so much opportunity for growth. So here she is today,  a completely different person. She's teaching and coaching and mentoring other women, how to do the same for their life for what feels good for them.

"I think really having the foundation of freedom to be your full self and not feeling that pressure to try to be validated in romantic partnership was huge. Also just having that camaraderie with your partner in being like, let's just like explore together and see where this takes us."

What does living a pleasure led life mean?
It's really important to understand the ways that you, me, we have all been conditioned to believe that pleasure is bad in whatever form or sinful or that having too much pleasure is not a good thing. Just having the awareness around the subconscious stories of sex and pleasure is huge, that's the foundation. Once you have the awareness, once you have that base understanding of where you're at why you've been doing what you've been doing, then you can really start to embrace a new way.
Where are your energy leaks?  When you have energy leaks, you're not in a good space, you're not letting the energy flow through your body and you're not letting that energy flow through. You're not feeling pleasure, you're not feeling good, you're feeling stressed, overwhelmed, anxious, all the things.
Living a pleasure led life doesn't mean that you are avoiding the opposite.
It doesn't mean you're avoiding pain or discomfort. Living a pleasure led life means you really embrace it all. You really embrace your emotions the whole rainbow and the whole spectrum you really lean into your pain because the amount of pleasure that you can allow into your life is respective to the amount of pain that you're able to hold as well.
It's not about pushing all of the shit down we have to work through that, that shit and and shame right to be able to get to the other side of having more pleasure show up in our life.
"Where pleasure is present, shame is not" 

Connect with Elan
Instagram & TikTok: @Elan.Zel

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Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

We are officially in the month of february, aka Love Month!  I am just so excited for the topics that I have set aside for you for this month. But  today we’re starting with three kinky things to try for valentine's Day
Depending on how long you've been listening to the podcast or depending on how “kinky" you are, maybe you've already tried some of these things or maybe these are things that you haven't done in a while. But I’m so excited to share these with you and help you put some intention into your  relationships!

Number one of my kinky things to try for Valentine's Day is to try a sex toy.
Okay, valentine's day is on a Tuesday. So maybe you're celebrating the week before valentine's day, the weekend before valentine's day, right? Do some Googling and go  find a local sex toy store and maybe you want to go shopping together.
Plan B: You all know, I am a sex toy distributor myself.  You can, if you want to, shop from the comfort of your home and do some online shopping on my site, HERE.  It really is a one stop shop, you need lube, you need enhancements, you want some massage products, you want some lingerie, you want some bedroom toys, you want some bondage or whatever it is, we have that for you and you're supporting me yours truly and I appreciate that.
So if you want to go in person and go to a sex shop and find something together that you can talk about and you can choose together, maybe you pick one thing that you can use together. Maybe you do, I buy something for you, you buy something for me and then that will be our gift to each other for Valentine's Day this year.
Toys are your teammates toys in the bedroom with partner use is never ever meant to replace our partners. It truly is just added pleasure.

Number two is try a new position together.
This is something that you can pick together. You are experiencing something new.
You're trying something new guys, nobody wants to be having the same sex in the same position every single time. We have a sex position book, and this is particularly when we're kind of both in the mood but what something new to do. We're already in the space, we're like getting things going and we wanna we wanna have more intention behind it, we want to have conversation behind it. We don't want to just jump into our typical positions that we do. It's giving you the opportunity to be able to use your voice and to basically vocalize your own pleasure and and kind of set your own boundaries as well.

Number three is to watch porn together.
Yes, and this was actually the one in the beginning when I mentioned when I was coming up with this list is the one that we don't do often. For your porn recommendation, for me personally, I go to Only Fans um there are some beautiful, beautiful people that are my type of attractiveness, and my type of kink really that have free profiles on there that you can follow. Or you can choose to pay for their paid content, that's my shout out to support a sex worker by subscribing to their Only Fans page. If that is not your cup of tea, that's okay. My favorite porn site is BELLESA and is female made porn for females, so and it is ethical porn.

Okay, so those are your three kinky things to try for 2023! I am so excited to hear how they go for you guys, please send me a DM. I just can't wait to hear all you little kinky fucks out there, getting your little kinky stuff on!

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Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
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Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

We are back for another episode of Owning Your Sexual Self and we are certainly owning our sexual selves with this topic this week. It is all things spanking. 

To me personally, there is nothing worse than having sex, and you're all into it, and then all of a sudden out of nowhere, this smack comes out into the into play and you're just like, what the fuck?
Now, I want to honor there are people that are listening to this right now, they're like, that is my literal dream.  For me, and anybody else that's on this end of the spectrum, that was not my little dream for me. The last thing that I wanted was for this fucking spank to come out of nowhere.

In October of last year, I went to a women’s retreat And spanking was taught at this retreat and this was a hands-on retreat and so we got to practice spanking with each other. I'm watching Lex teach us how to spank on this other girl that was here at the retreat and it was very rhythmic, very intentional. And then to experience that just to lay there and to know that the spanking was about to occur was an important thing. It took away that fear of when is it coming and there was touch beforehand so, it was  laying there and you feel hands on you and you start to you know they just start to kind of massage that area and slowly move around that area using the fingertips like really getting the blood flow to that part of your body.

So that’s tip number one. When you are engaging in a practice with your partner, some sort of impact play or sensation play or whatever it is, start with this intention first to that area that you're focusing on.
So in this case when it comes to spanking, massaging that area and using the fingertips like just like lightly groping and massaging around that area or just rubbing that area and getting that area warmed up to where you know your person is going to understand where this where this is headed.

You're also going to be having a conversation beforehand, first you want to ask the person, if you have a scale of 1-10 in terms of your pain right now in this moment, what would your highest point be for me right now? Or for me inflicting the spanking to you on a scale of 1 to 10, what is the highest point that you would like to reach right now?
"He focuses on like the squishy or fattier parts of but and so when he is done warming up, he will do a few just like little pats on the butt and then the intensity will kind of creep up up and up and up slowly and then he'll give me like a good whack and then ask what number was that?"
 And that just that those words in general, what number was that? Like my partner checking in with me during intimate intimacy to see where I'm at and what I'm feeling and where my emotions are is so fucking hot.

There's three different techniques that I was taught at first when it came down to spanking.
First one was taking your hand and cupping or arching your hand and when you are delivering the spank of this, like it has more of like a muffed sound.
Position number two would be full hand with fingers  together and that one is gonna be a little bit more intense pain wise.
Third one is just the tips of your fingers, so you're just like, it's like you're thumping on them almost.
So it might start with just a little bit of a few pats, and then you start to ramp it up a little bit more, and then you got some cupping going, and then maybe you do maybe a big smack. And then you would say, what number was that for you? You're gauging where your partner is at, you're gauging where the intensity is at. 

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Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
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Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

Hello, hello! Super excited to have Jennifer Ruskin on today to talk about opening relationships!
Jennifer is a momma, partner, multi-million dollar revenue generator, podcast host, and sex & relationship coach.  The three pillars that she really focuses on are opening a relationship,which can get hella difficult and have a lot of hard conversations, but it is possible. The second thing is online dating because that's freaking tough, but it doesn't have to be. Then the third thing is consciously uncoupling. She has successfully, consciously uncoupled multiple times and has this amazing big family unit of exes and her current partner that help raise her kids, so very untraditional.
“I just kind of like walked into adulthood like here I am different and fully embracing it.”

How did Jennifer find herself in an open relationship?
About a year ago, she had this veil where she was saying to everyone, “ I have the most amazing partner, which I still believe is true, we have a great marriage, and our sex life is fantastic” but that last part was the lie. She was telling herself it was fantastic because she was getting the sex quantity that I was wanting, but it wasn't getting the quality that she was wanting.
Her sex life was very, very, traditional and she was with a very, very, very traditional person, which is perfect, just not for her. And so what she realized as this veil fell and she finally heard what her friends were saying, like, it's not normal what she was experiencing.
The real catalyst for this is when old friend came back and slid into her facebook DMs, and sizzling started happening. They started having conversations and she let her husband know this person was back in her life and like there's some flirting happening that may not be fully appropriate.And he was like I don't care, I don't want to know.
So they started doing like sexy erotic writing back and forth. We had this thing that we had already experienced and so we would like right what's the next level like if we see each other again, what would we do? And so we started this kind of back and forth sexting. So that started her list of things she wants experience. "That feeling of having someone crave you again was really what I desired. And so that started my list."

A big fear for people is that my husband or my partner would fall in love with this person or love what they're doing more than what I'm doing. How do you get over the feeling or how do you not allow your partner to fall in love?  
The answer to that is that you can't, the answer to that is that you are only responsible for yourself and your partner is responsible for themselves. The answer to that is we don't own our partners. And when you go through this process of opening, you quickly learn you're not in control of anyone, not even your partner and it's really unhealthy to try to control them anyway. So if you are thinking about heading into the lifestyle, it's really, really, really important to have a good foundation in your relationship already where you have deep love and deep trust and deep respect.

How do you know if opening up your relationship is for you?
If you're interested in it, it's for you. If it's a hell no, then it's a hell no.
If it's a hell no,  you've already shut off the podcast. If you're still listening and it sounds really interesting to you, then it's something to get curious about and started exploring.

Connect with Jen!
Instagram & Youtube: @JenniferKayloRuscinPodcast
Website

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Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

Hello, everyone! Welcome back to another episode of the Owning Your Sexual Self Podcast! Today we're talking about squirting, something I can't believe I haven't talked about on this podcast before! We'll be covering...

• What even is “squirt” made up of, and the science behind squirting
• How to emotionally support your partner to make them feel comfortable enough to be able to squirt
• My personal story around squirting
• Kenneth Play’s Beyond Satisfied: A Sex Hacker's Guide to Endless Orgasms, Mind-Blowing Connection, and Lasting Confidence
• How squirting can provide an emotional release and can allow someone to truly let their body go freely
• Some different techniques, positions, and toys to help you or your partner squirt

If this is something you want to try, have a conversation with your partner.  Let them know that you listened to this podcast and that you learned some new things and that you wanna try to experience something new together!

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Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

Hello, hello! Welcome back for another episode of Owning Your Sexual Self. Kicking off March with this episode, that is inspired by some DM’s that I've been getting recently. Typically it's men that are sliding into the DM’s, wanting free relationship advice, about how to initiate sex without her saying no and getting annoyed. 

I can't just be giving out free advice all the time. Right? And to be honest, it's not doing you any favors either. There's so much work when it comes to sex coaching, like digging into the layers of this that are really where you're going to see the results. I do free consultation calls, so if you're interested in getting some questions answered or, you know, possibly working together or seeing what programs I have currently um running and whatnot, you can always set up a free consultation call. 

In this episode you’ll hear…

• How to have good communication around initiating sex, and some questions to ask your partner.
• Desire Discrepancy; what it is and how to deal with it
• Emotional vs Physical connection, and how it can play a part in your sex life
• Reasons someone might be annoyed with you when you try to initiate sex, and some tips on how to avoid that
• Stepping into your masculine and how that can change your sex life

Thank you so much for listening. I hope this was helpful. Of course, again, going through why, why she may not want to have sex with you and why she might be getting annoyed with you when you are wanting to have sex. 

And lastly for any couples that are listening to this, Danny and I are running our Couples Experience virtually on March 14th at 6PM Eastern Time, and is $99 a couple. We just did this workshop in person a few weeks ago and we got amazing, amazing feedback from the people and the couples that joined us. So we are offering it virtually. We're walking you through three of our favorite exercises as couples to be able to connect with each other and connect in a way that intimacy is now present. So if you are listening to this podcast today, you heard me talk a lot about emotional connection and that physical connection. We are teaching you tools for both of those things, the emotional connection and the physical connection, those both show up in these practices that we're gonna be teaching.

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Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

*This week's episode is sponsored by Shag Ragg! Use code WELLNESS10 to get 10% off your order!*

Hello, hello! Welcome back for another episode of Owning Your Sexual Self! This week’s topic is how to make sex last longer. Yay! I know you all want all the deets, how to make it last longer, make it more enjoyable, and all the juicy things in between!

This week you’ll hear about…

• 3 things to help your sex last longer
• A challenge to your mindset on what sex is
• How to make the most of foreplay
• What aftercare/afterplay is, and how important it is

Enjoy the magic that you just created with each other and congratulate yourselves on taking that time to be intimate with each other, taking time out of your day to connect with your partner and to bring pleasure into your life. Who doesn't want more pleasure in their life?

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Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

*This week's episode is sponsored by Shag Ragg! Use code WELLNESS10 to get 10% off your order!*

Welcome back for another wonderful episode of Owning Your Sexual Self Podcast!  I have on a functional practitioner, a holistic health coach if you will, Felicia Cafego. We are talking all things related to PMS and period hacking and hormones and all these annoying things that we go through as women that just are kind of downers in our life. But there are so many ways that you can hijack your hormones and make them work for you, right? 

This episode focuses on…

• When you should start talking to your kids about periods
• Felicia’s person experience with hormone hacking
• What and how hormones should be affecting you during your cycle
• How you can help those hormones do what they’re supposed to do

This was such a great conversation and I’m so excited for you all to learn all the period hacking things!

Connect with Felicia
Instagram & TikTok : @HealthyPeriodGeek

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Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

*This week's episode is sponsored by Shag Ragg! Use code WELLNESS10 to get 10% off your order!*

Hey, y'all, we are back for another episode. I'm excited to have Allison as a guest with me today.  Alison is a seasoned psychotherapist and an EFT practitioner. After experiencing a divorce herself, she decided to focus on helping other midlife women find healthy available single men who will love and adore them.

In this episode you'll hear about:

• Allison's personal journey into EFT tapping
• What EFT Tapping is, how, and where on your body to do it
• How it can relate to helping people with their sex lives, finding love again and feeling confident in themselves
• How to use EFT tapping on a daily basis to block intrusive thoughts
• The difference between autobiographical and sensory memories

EFT tapping is really a great hack to learn, another tool to add to your wellness toolbox!

Connect with Allison
To get Allison's ebook go to learntodatelikeagoddess.com
Instagram: @Allison_Jayne_Goddess.Maker
TikTok :@AllisonJayneGoddessMaker

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Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

Welcome back for another episode of Owning Your Sexual Self! This week is all about kissing. I've really been inspired after reading all these books with such sexy descriptions of kissing. So I'm here to bring that fiction to everyone's reality! 

You'll hear about

• My first kiss story
• The do's and don'ts of kissing
• Pro-tips for kissing
• The benefits of kissing and how it creates intimacy 
• How to eliminate the idea that kissing has to lead to sex

 Thank you for continuing to listen and support the show. I will see y'all next week! Have a great day!

Shop with Rachel

Support the show

Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

*This week's episode is sponsored by Shag Ragg! Use code WELLNESS10 to get 10% off your order!*

Hey, y'all. Welcome back for another episode of Owning your Sexual Self. You might be wondering, is this a guy like, does Rachel really have a guy on her podcast right now? And the answer is yes! I'm so excited to have Dr Ricky Arenson on this week to talk about his book Women Are Superior to Men and to get a rare male perspective on this podcast.

In this episode you'll hear:

• Ricky's personal story and why he decided to write this book
• How important it is to work on the important things in your life
• The importance of men standing up and being in their masculine
• A few of the reasons from Ricky's book of why women are superior to men
• The physiological differences between men and women's brains
• Why showing affection and love towards your partner in front of your kids is so vital

Thanks so much for listening! This was a great conversation, and I can't wait for all of you to read his book and maybe even share it with your husbands!

Connect with Ricky!
Book: Women Are Superior to Men
Website: DrRickyArenson.com

Support the show

Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

*This week's episode is sponsored by DripStick! Use code RACHEL91347 to get 10% off your order!* 

Hello, everyone! Welcome back for another episode of Owning your Sexual Self. I realized I've had this podcast now for three years and I don't think I've ever done a generalized STI episode. As someone that has a fucking podcast and a platform and influence in the world, it's STI Awareness Month, we gotta talk about this stuff. So it might not necessarily be like the sexiest topic that we can talk about, but I have a sexy guest, Jordan D’Nelle. And so we're going to make it sexy. 

In this episode you’ll hear:

• The importance of STI education and awareness
• Steps you can take to minimize your risk
• What STI’s are, what they look like, and how they’re spread
• How and when to get tested
• Advice on how to manage after a STI diagnosis 

Thanks so much for listening, see you next week!

My Everlywell Link!
Connect with Jordan
Instagram @JordanDnelle
Podcast: Vaginas, Vulvas, and Vibrators

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Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

*This week's episode is sponsored by Shag Ragg! Use code WELLNESS10 to get 10% off your order!*

Hello hello hello! We are back for another juicy episode of Owning Your Sexual Self! This episode was really inspired by some conversations I've had in my personal life, or just heard friends talking about how period sex is gross... But it's sad when there's this thing in our life that we feel  has to take away something.  My body is doing this natural thing, it's bleeding. So I can't indulge in pleasure. I can't do penetrative things. I can't do X Y Z. Those days are over. 

In this episode I talk about:

• What my social media following thinks of period sex
• Why there should be absolutely no shame around period sex
• The benefits of period sex
• Tips on how to talk to your partner if either of you have fears around period sex
• Tips on how to make period sex the most enjoyable and possibly mess free

If you like this episode, hit me up, tell me, share it on social media, send it to a friend, tag me on social media so I can see that you're listening and that you enjoyed this episode. You can shoot me a DM and be like,  Rachel, you just opened my mind to period sex. Totally cool. I'm here for it.
Have a great week, go and bleed your hearts out happily and healthily.

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Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

Hello! We are back for another episode. Coming off a very exciting weekend for Danny and I. We went to our first ever couples retreat in Austin, Texas. We're recording this episode to really sum everything up, give you all the details, and really kinda relive it a bit. 

You'll hear about:

• Our journey getting to this retreat
• How each day went while we were in the house
• What all of the different activities did for each of us
• What it was like sharing this experience with the other couples 
• How we're bringing what we learned here into our lives at home

Thanks for listening, see you next week!

Quick Links
Sex and Love Co.
Rina Trevi
Kimi Inch

Support the show

Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

*This week's episode is sponsored by DripStick! Use code RACHEL91347 to get 10% off your order!*

Hello, hello! Can you believe I’ve been doing this podcast for three years?! I’m always excited to bring you new topics and new guests, and that is  definitely true for today’s episode! I’ve got Juliette Karaman on today and I can’t wait for you to hear the incredible conversation we had.

We talk about

• Juliette’s personal story
• What it’s like letting yourself really feel your emotions 
• How to describe what you’re feeling in your body with sensation language 
• How to bring body sensation language into your sex life
• The importance of knowing and vocalizing your YES and NO’s 
• Juliette’s Rapid Release, Rewire, and Restore Method

Thank you so much for listening, I hope you all enjoyed this conversation as much as I did! 

Connect with Juliette!
Website - FeelFullyYou.com
Instagram & Facebook - @JulietteKaraman

Support the show

Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

*This week's episode is sponsored by Shag Ragg! Use code WELLNESS10 to get 10% off your order!*

Hey, everyone. We're getting up close and personal this week for a short and sweet episode of the Owning Your Sexual Self Podcast. So I hope you're ready. I'm assuming you clicked because you are curious about this topic or maybe you're wanting to get some new tips for yourself around rimming! 

This episode covers:

• What rimming is
• The importance of consent
• Assurance that enjoying rimming does not change your sexual orientation
• How to enjoy rimming safely
• Prep, techniques, and aftercare

All right, y'all go out there, have some rim jobs, have some fun with it. Add more pleasure to your life as always! And of course, be safe and make sure that consent is present. I'll see you on the next episode!

Resources
How to Get the Sex Life You Both Crave
Want, Will, Won't List

Support the show

Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

*This week's episode is sponsored by DripStick! Use code RACHEL91347 to get 10% off your order!*

I am so excited this week! This is usually the time I'd introduce my guest, but this week I've got guests!  I had a fantastic conversation with Cass and Emma the hosts of the HoneyDew Me Podcast. They've really been such an inspiration for me  about conversations I should have on my podcast.

You'll hear us talk about:

• How they met and got started podcasting
• How their podcast has changed their sex lives, or their views about sex
• Some of their favorite conversations
• The vast spectrum of sexuality
• Our favorite things we've added to the bedroom

Thanks so much for listening! I can't wait to do it all over again next week!

Connect with the HoneyDew Me girls
Website: HoneyDewMePodcast.com
Instagram, YouTube, & TikTok: @HoneyDewMePodcast

Support the show

Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

*This week's episode is sponsored by DripStick! Use code RACHEL91347 to get 10% off your order!*

Hello everyone! I'm so excited for this week, I've got on my first film maker, Stephanie Sellars a New York based writer, filmmaker and performer.

She's here to talk about:

• Her film, Lust Life Love
• How the film came to be, and what it's based on
• The Dynamics of poly or non-monogamous relationships
• Her personal experiences with these kinds of relationships

Thanks for listening! Have a good week!

Connect with Stephanie
Website - StephanieSellars.com
Film - LustLifeLove.com
Instagram - @The_StephanieSellars

Support the show

Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

Hello friends! Welcome back for another episode of the Owning Your Sexual Self Podcast! This week we're talking Queen and King worship, which has been a game changer for us in our marriage and our relationship and our intimacy.

I'll be covering:

• What exactly King and Queen worship is
• How to go about setting it up
• How to make sure you're doing the "right" things for your partner
• What our king and Queen worship looks like
• What to do if you or your partner aren't in the right space when the worship was planned

 Y'all have a great rest of your day. Happy summer! I will catch you on the flip side.

Resources
How to Sex Up Your Space & The Relationship Regroup

Support the show

Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

*This week's episode is sponsored by Shag Ragg! Use code WELLNESS10 to get 10% off your order!*

We are here back again. The Maines, in action, live to your audio listening machine. We are talking five lessons after five years of marriage! We've been married for 5 years, but together for 10. So we're here to share what we've learned!

You'll hear about:

• Communication
• That vulnerability is a necessity
• How love is a choice
• That trust is vital
• How important growing together is
• And of course how these things have helped our marriage 

Please reach out if you have questions! If you love this podcast and you just love us, please share on your social media, promote the podcast, the more people that we can get to listen to this, the better. So, thank you, thank you, thank you, so much as always. 

Support the show

Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

Hello everyone! I have an amazing guest on with me Serena Haines. Ohh I'm so excited. She was on another one of my friends podcasts recently talking about cock worship, and I was like, yes, Queen, I need to have you on the show.

We cover:

• How Serena got started in this work
• What cock worship is
• The benefits of cock worship
• How to bring up wanting to do this with your partner 
• Tips and techniques to get the most out of the experience

Thank you so much for listening today! I hope that you're going to go and bring some cock worship into your life!

Connect with Serena
Instagram: @Serena_Haines
Website: SerenaHaines.com
Twitter: @SerenaHaines
Radio Show: CKDU.CA

Support the show

Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

*This week's episode is sponsored by LMNT! Get yours today!*

Hello, friends! Welcome back for another episode of Owning Your Sexual Self.  This week's episode was inspired by a client conversation I had recently around the question, "What if I just don't want  to have an orgasm?"

You'll hear:

• Reasons she might not want an orgasm
• How to have a conversation when you or your partner don't want an orgasm
• How to react if your partner tells you they don't want an orgasm
• Tips on helping the situation and getting to the why behind it

Thank you so much for tuning to listen to this podcast y'all!
If you love this, please leave a review whether you're on Spotify or Apple Podcast. You have no idea how much that helps the podcast to grow and get it into the ears of more and more people. So, either leave a review or subscribe on YouTube if you're watching on YouTube, I appreciate that as well. 
Until next time! I will catch you on the flipside. Have a good one!

Resources
How to Flick the Bean & the Peen Masterclass

Support the show

Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

*This week's episode is sponsored by LMNT! Get yours today!*

Hello, everyone. Welcome back for another episode of Owning Your Sexual Self! Happy fourth of July week, if you are listening to this in real time, if not, I hope you had a great fourth of July.
I've had this episode on my mind for quite some time, this idea of sexual freedom.

We're going to dive into:

• What sexual freedom is
• How I embrace sexual freedom
• How embracing it can change your whole life
• What it can mean to different people
• Resources to help you fully embrace your sexual self

Thank you so, so, so much for continuing to listen to the Owning Your Sexual Self Podcast. I cannot thank you enough and I love all of you. I'll see you next time!

Resources
Discover Your Sex Life (The Sex Timeline)
How to Create the Sex Life You Both Crave

Support the show

Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

*This week's episode is sponsored by DripStick! Use code RACHEL91347 to get 10% off your order!*

Hello everyone! I'm so excited for this week's episode with Jo Miller all about embodying your feminine! It's one of the best conversations I've had in a while.

We talk about:

• Making pleasure a priority in life
• The different ways you can experience pleasure, and how it's not only about sexual pleasure
• Jo's story and how she helps others do this work
• How to tap more into your feminine and what that can look like in your life
• How trauma can sometimes affect your ability to step into your feminine

Thanks so much for listening!

Resources
The Body Keeps The Score

Connect with Jo
Instagram @goddessfemmeceo

Support the show

Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

*This week's episode is sponsored by LMNT! Get yours today!*

Hello, everyone! We're here for another episode of the Owning Your Sexual Self Podcast! This week I've got an in person guest, which is perfect because he's a massage therapist! Greg and I met a couple weeks ago at a networking event and he worked his magic hands on my body. 

We talk about:

• Greg's  personal journey 
• How emotion, stress, trauma and other factors can show up in the body
• How to give your partner permission to relax during massage
• The spiritual and energy side of massage
• What massage can do both personally and for a couple

Thanks so much for listening! Make sure you check this episode out on YouTube to see a scalp massage demonstration!

Connect with Greg!
Instagram: @targetandtreatment_massage
Facebook: Greg Kramarz

Support the show

Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

*This week's episode is sponsored by Shag Ragg! Use code WELLNESS10 to get 10% off your order!*

Hello hello! This episode has really been a long time coming! We're talking all about faking orgasms. I've had so many conversations about this with people in my circle, and I knew I needed to bring it here as well. 
I'm talking about:

• Why people might be faking orgasms 
• Benefits to stopping faking orgasms
• How to stop doing faking it
• And how to bring real orgasms back into your life

Thank you so much for listening! Don't forget to share on your social media and tag me if you loved this episode! See you next week!

Resources
Freebies
How to Flick The Bean and The Peen Masterclass
Increasing Intimacy Masterclass

Support the show

Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

*This week's episode is sponsored by LMNT! Get yours today!*

Hello, everyone! This week we've got the amazing Amanda Fisher back on! She's here to talk to us about men's pelvic floor health. Even though we primarily think of women when it comes to pelvic floor health, it is super important for men as well!

We cover:

• Symptoms you might experience with pelvic floor issues
• What the pelvic floor is, and how it's supposed to work
• Some exercises, stretches, or lifestyle changes that can help your pelvic floor
• Differences between men and women with pelvic floor discomfort
• When you should go to and how to find a pelvic floor therapist

Thank you for listening! Don't forget to share on social media and let me know if you loved this episode!

Resources
American Physical Therapy Association
PelvicGuru.com

Connect with Amanda
Website: EmpowerYourPelvis.com
Instagram: @Empower.Your.Pelvis
TikTok & YouTube: @EmpowerYourPelvis

Support the show

Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

Hello, hello! We're back for another episode! This week I wanted to talk about how to redefine what we think of as sex, and how doing that can create so much more intimacy and connection in your relationship. 
You'll hear:

• Ways to redefine what sex means in order to feel deeper connection and intimacy in relationships. 
• What a sexless marriage is and how it can affect your relationship. 
• That a desire for more sex may actually be a desire for deeper connection and quality time with your partner.
• How important communication and exploring different tools and techniques to enhance your sexual experiences are.
• Ways to prioritize your own sexual satisfaction and pleasure.

I hope this episode was helpful for you! If it's sex that you're craving, I would be willing to bet that it's actually the connection that you are craving. Until next time, guys! Thank you so much for listening, I'll see you on the next episode!

*This episode is sponsored by the HER Retreat. Click HERE to learn more about it and reserve your spot!*

Support the show

Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

Hello everyone! I’m so excited to have Amy, a certified clinical Aromatherapist and Aromatic Gardner, on the episode today! Amy is one of NYC’s top aromatherapy practitioners, so we’re talking about essential oils and how they can work for you. 

We talk about:

• How Amy got started in essential oils
• What essential oils and aromatherapy is and some of the science behind them
• What essential oils can be good for different situations
• How to use essential oils and how to find them
• That oils can benefit both men and women

Thank you so much for listening! I hope you enjoyed this episode as much as I did!

*This episode is sponsored by the HER Retreat. Click HERE to learn more about it and reserve your spot!*

Connect with Amy!
Website: NYCaromatica.com
Instagram: @NYCAromatica

Support the show

Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

Hello, hello! I'm so happy to share this episode with you all today! I'm talking all about the Feminine Archetypes. It's really a great lead up to my upcoming HER retreat where we will be going so much more in depth on these archetypes. I'm so fucking excited! 
This episode covers:

• How excited I am for the HER retreat, and what it entails
• What are the Feminine Archetypes and where they come from
• What embodying these archetypes can do for you
• A look at a few different archetypes, and how they can show up in yourself
• How the HER retreat will explore all these archetypes and more

I hope that you enjoyed hearing about these feminine archetypes as much as I loved telling you about them. I'm excited, excited, excited in just a few weeks to be able to play in some of these energies with some women! Its so fucking fun to be able to do this work.

Resources
The HER Retreat
Consultation Call

Support the show

Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

Hello, everyone! Super excited to have, travel lover, Jordan D'Nelle on the show today! She is always going on some unbelievable looking trips, and is here today to talk about the benefits of traveling and experiencing retreats with other women!

In this episode:

• Why investing in yourself is so important
• What it's like having life changing  experiences with other women
• The difference between the in person HER retreat and online programs
• Tips for traveling with other women and the empowerment you feel from doing so
• Why retreats can be better than vacations

Thank you so much for listening! I can't wait to see you in Tampa at The HER Retreat!

*This episode is sponsored by the HER Retreat. Click HERE to learn more about it and reserve your spot!*

Connect with Jordan
Instagram: @Jordandnelle
Travel Instagram: @JetSettingJordan

Support the show

Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

Hello everyone! I'm so honored and grateful to have reiki master, sound practitioner, and embodiment and intimacy coach, JoJo Seamons! She's here to talk all things spiritual, sexual, and of course getting into all things woo. 

You'll hear:

• How JoJo got into this work and her personal journey
• What doing this work can look like 
• How embracing your shadow sides can help your journey
• How you can make Archetype work your own
• A JoJo led meditation

Thank you for listening! I hope you enjoyed your meditation and got as much out of it as I did!

*This episode is sponsored by the HER Retreat. Click HERE to learn more about it and reserve your spot!*

Connect with JoJo
Instagram: @JoJo.Seamons or @RedTentCo

Support the show

Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

Hello, everyone! We have a guest on today, Nicole Frolick, who's here to talk about womb healing and inner child work. Nicole has over 25 years of experience in the realm of healing the mind, body, and soul connections, so I'm so excited to hear her perspective!

In this episode:

• Nicole's personal journey
• Why bringing up and working through trauma is worth it
• The power that comes from womb healing and connecting to femininity 
• How healing your own trauma can break the chains of generational trauma
• Where to start meditation with your inner child

Thank you all for continuing to listen to this podcast. Literally, I could not be more thankful and grateful for each and every one of you. So, thank you so much for being here!

Connect with Nicole!
Website: https://www.nicolefrolick.com/
The Forbidden Journey program: https://www.nicolefrolick.com/forbidden-journey
Alchemy Academy: https://alchemyacademy.teachable.com/
The Enlighten Up Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-enlighten-up-podcast/id1251536483?mt=2
Instagram: @NicoleFrolick
Youtube: @NicoleFrolick
TikTok: @NicoleFrolick

Support the show

Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

Hello everyone! I hope you’re coming to this episode with an open mind because we’ve got on a very fun guest today! Samantha McIntosh is a fellow sex and relationship coach who is here to talk all about swinging, ethical non-monogamy, and polyamory! 

You’ll hear:

• How Sam and her husband started getting to this lifestyle
• What ENM, Swinging, and Polyamory are
• The importance of communication and vulnerability 
• The different structures these relationships can have
• An inside look at parties and relationships in the ENM lifestyle

Thank you so much for listening!  Don't forget to share on your social media and tag me if you loved this episode! See you next week!

*This week's episode is sponsored by Shag Ragg! Use code WELLNESS10 to get 10% off your order!*

Resources
SLS.com
FetLife
Polysecure
The Ethical Slut

Connect with Sam!
Instagram: @holisticphoenixmi
Facebook: The Holistic Phoenix

Support the show

Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

Hello everyone! Last time I had Jennifer Ruscin on she said the words conscious uncoupling, and it really piqued my interest, so I just had to have her back on to talk all about it!

In this episode:

• How it went both times Jennifer consciously uncoupled 
• What consciously uncoupling is
• The benefits to doing it 
• Ways you could be creative in a breakup situation
• What it might look like once you're in a creative solution to a breakup 

Thank you so much for listening! Don't forget to share on your social media and tag me if you loved this episode! See you next week!

*This episode is sponsored by the HER Retreat. Click HERE to learn more about it and reserve your spot!*

Connect with Jennifer!
Instagram: @theopenbedroompodcast
Website

Support the show

Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

Hello everyone! Have I got a guest for you today! I'm so excited to have on the wonderful Jessie Torres to talk about the value of the sensual self and the connection to our sensuality. Jessie's journey is incredible, and I can't wait for her to share it with you all!

In this episode:

• Jessie's personal journey
• The importance of self-connection and sensuality
• How shame surrounding sensuality can impact our personal development
• The cycle of abuse that can happen, and how we need to be the chain breakers
• That embracing sensuality and connecting with the senses to experience moments of awe and lusciousness can be life changing

Thank you all so much for listening! I can't wait to go through Jessie's 10 step guide, and I hope you'll all join me!

*This episode is sponsored by the HER Retreat. Click HERE to learn more about it and reserve your spot!*

Resources
Jessie's 10 Step Guide to Having Freedom and Claiming the Life You Desire

Connect with Jessie
Instagram: @jessietorresofficial
Facebook: Jessie Torres - Fierce Grace Transformation
Website: Unshakeablelife.com
Army of Angels: OurArmyofAngels.com

Support the show

Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

Hey, everyone! I'm so excited to have Melanie Curtin on the episode today! Melanie has been coaching men for over six years and specializes in bringing a woman's perspective to help men connect and succeed in their sex lives & relationships. 

In this episode:

• How Melanie got started in this work
• Differences between men's and women's struggles with dating & relationships
• The different energies men can give off when in or looking for a relationship
• How Melanie helps men feel into the right energy for what women want
• Why men should really be doing this work
• How women can bring up wanting more from their partner

Thank you so much for listening! Don't forget to share on your social media and tag me if you loved this episode! See you next week!

Connect with Melanie
Dear Men Podcast: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women
Please Her In Bed course
Website - MelanieCurtin.com

Support the show

Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

Hello everyone! I've got on a great guest today Gina Gutierrez, the co-founder and Chief Creative Officer at Dipsea, a people empowered story studio that produces a wide range of erotic female focused audio content. She's passionate about demonstrating why sexual wellness is essential and how storytelling and imagination are powerful tools that can help women unlock a liberating connections with their bodies.

In this episode:

• How and why Gina and her co-founder started Dipsea
• What Dipsea is and a little behind the scenes of how the content is made
• How audio erotica and Dipsea can help your general sexual wellness
• Different ways to use audio erotica in your relationship vs just as a solo experience

Thank you so much for listening! Don't forget to share on your social media and tag me if you loved this episode! See you next week!

*Get your 30 days free of Dipsea for free by going to DipseaStories.com/Rachel  *

Connect with Dipsea
Instagram & Tiktok: @DipseaStories

Connect with Gina
Ted Talk on the relationship between sex and imagination

Support the show

Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

Hello, everyone! This is recorded live from the HER Retreat I did last week. These amazing women and I are so excited for you to hear about our experiences! 

You'll hear:

• What anxieties or fears were there in the beginning about going to something like this
• Why we said yes to the HER Retreat anyway
• Some words we hoped to embody or accomplish during the retreat and if we felt like we succeeded in those words
• What our favorite parts of the experience were
• How all of us were impacted by the HER Retreat and how we'll take it into our regular lives

Thank you so much for listening! If you feel like you've missed out on this retreat, don't worry, I'll definitely be doing another one and I can't wait to see you there! 

Support the show

Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

Hello and welcome back for another episode of the Owning Your Sexual Self Podcast! Today I've got on an excellent guest, Julia Kormanski-Miller who's here to talk all about seed cycling, and her business Manski's Wellness.

In this episode:

• What exactly seed cycling is and how it works
• Why and how Julia started her business
• The different kinds of seeds and the nutrients they provide
• How using food can be better than supplements 
• The benefits you can see when you start seed cycling

Thank you so much for listening!  Don't forget to share on your social media and tag me if you loved this episode! See you next week!

*This week's episode is sponsored by Manski's Wellness! Follow the link to cover all your seed cycling needs!*

Connect with Julia!
Instagram: @Manskis_Wellness
Website: ManskisWellness.com

Support the show

Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

Hello everyone! Welcome back for another episode of the Owning Your Sexual Self Podcast! Today I've got on Cherae who is a somatic pleasure and power coach and is here to talk all about how incredible breathwork and other somatic practices can be.

You'll hear:

• Cherae's journey
• Just how important breathwork is
• What benefits you can get from practicing breathwork
• What sexual kung fu is and where it comes from
• A breathwork exercise led by Cherae starting at 26:29

Thank you so much for listening!  Don't forget to share on your social media and tag me if you loved this episode! See you next week!

*This week's episode is sponsored by DripStick! Use code RACHEL91347 to get 10% off your order!*

Connect with Cherae!
Website: CheraeMabry.com
Instagram: @TheCherae
Facebook: Cherae Mabry

Support the show

Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

Hello everyone! Thank you for coming back for another episode of the Owning Your Sexual Self Podcast! This week I've got on registered nurse and founder and CEO of Primal Life Organics, Trina Felber. She's here to talk all about her products and how oral health links to overall health!

You'll hear:

• Why Trina started this company
• What oral health has to do with sexual health
• All the science behind how important oral health is
• The differences between her products and other products
• Why both you and your partner should be taking care of your oral health

Thank you so much for listening!  Don't forget to share on your social media and tag me if you loved this episode! See you next week!

*This week's episode is sponsored by Primal Life Organics! Click the link to get special offers on their oral health products!*

Connect with Trina and Primal Life Organics
Website
Instagram: @PrimalLifeOrg
Facebook: Primal Life Organics

Support the show

Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

Hello everyone! We're back with a new episode of the Owning Your Sexual Self Podcast! This week we've got on Jessica Al-Faqih who is a psychedelic sensual empowerment coach, and she's here to talk all about how tapping into those things can change your life!

You'll hear:

• Jessica's story 
• How psychedelics or somatic practices to simulate psychedelics work to rewire your brain
• What Jessica's process looks like
• What emotional conditioning is and how you can use it to access your emotions
• How doing this work can not only change your sex life, but your life as a whole

Thank you so much for listening!  Don't forget to share on your social media and tag me if you loved this episode! See you next week!

Connect with Jessica!
Website: JessicaAlFaqih.com
Instagram: @Jessica_AlFaqih

Support the show

Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

Hello! I'm here with the first solo episode of The Owning Your Sexual Self Podcast of 2024! I'm so excited for this year after a much needed holiday rest. And I'm also excited to talk all about the fuck first rule with you!

You'll hear:

• A little update on my life
• What the fuck first rule is, and how I heard about it
• How it can change your date nights so much for the better
• The way we implement it in our routine
• Some science behind why this works
• Tips on how to really get the most out of your date night

Thank you so much for listening!  Don't forget to share on your social media and tag me if you loved this episode! See you next week!

Support the show

Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

Hello hello! Welcome back for another episode of the Owning Your Sexual Self podcast! Today I've got Jess Seitz, an occupational therapist and founder of Pain-Free Intimacy, here to talk all about vaginismus, and the journey to both pain and drama free intimacy.

You'll hear:

• Jess's personal journey
• What vaginismus is and other names it can be called
• Different ways it can affect different people
• Steps to take if you think you might be struggling with vaginismus
• How to help a partner that is struggling with vaginismus
• Reassurance that you're not alone and that you deserve to have pain free sex

Thank you so much for listening!  Don't forget to share on your social media and tag me if you loved this episode! See you next week!

Connect with Jess!
Instagram: @PainFree.Intimacy

Support the show

Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

Hello! On this week’s episode of the Owning Your Sexual Self Podcast, we’re talking about equine therapy! I’ve got on Nicoletta Heidegger who is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and Sexologist who specializes in trauma-informed sex therapy for diverse populations as well as Equine Assisted Psychotherapy. I loved this conversation, and I’m so excited to share it with you all!

You’ll hear:

• Nicoletta’s personal story
• What equine therapy is
• Why you might benefit from equine therapy
• The different ways it can be used
• Why somatic work is so beneficial to be practiced in addition to talk therapy

Thank you so much for listening!  Don't forget to share on your social media and tag me if you loved this episode! See you next week!

Resources
Special Spirit - www.specialspirit.org
Eagala - www.eagala.org
Natual Lifemanship - naturallifemanship.com

Connect with Nicoletta!
Afternoon Delight Live Event: ADLive.Eventbrite.com
Instagram: @slutsandscholars or @therapywithnicoletta
Website: NicolettaVHeidegger.com

Support the show

Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

I'm back solo with another episode of the Owning Your Sexual Self podcast! I'm excited to give you all a little beginners guide on impact play! I'm hoping this episode will be a great resource for you, and gives you more confidence in starting impact play for yourself!

You'll hear:

• What impact play is
• How important safety and communication is
• What engaging in impact play can bring to the bedroom
• Some must do's before you start
• The different tools you can use for impact play

Check out this episode on YouTube to get more of a visual idea of these toys! Thank you so much for listening!  Don't forget to share on your social media and tag me if you loved this episode! See you next week!

Resources
Storefront - Use code ZB7ZZ2B for 15% off your order!

Support the show

Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

Hello, everyone! Welcome back for another episode of the Owning Your Sexual Self podcast! I'm so, so excited to have Jordan Bowditch on the show today. You've heard me talk about Jordan and his wife Lex from Sex & Love Co on the podcast so many times, so I'm pumped that he's here to share his knowledge on the importance of men having male friendships.

You'll hear:

• Jordan's personal journey with male friendships
• What the difference between toxic and healthy masculinity is
• How to cultivate your circle of friends
• What it looks like inside a container of healthy like-minded male friends
• How having these male friendships can help your romantic relationship
• Just how important having male friends is

Thank you so much for listening!  Don't forget to share on your social media and tag me if you loved this episode! See you next week!

Connect with Jordan!
Instagram: @JordanBowditch
Men's Programs: sexandlove.co/programs#men
That Sex Chick Podcast - thatsexchick.com

Support the show

Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

Hey, everyone! Welcome back for another episode of the Owning Your Sexual Self podcast. Thanks for sticking around through the ups and downs; life's been a rollercoaster as I open my own sex therapy and education practice here in Michigan. Today, we've got a special guest, Kate Shelor, a hypnotherapist,  subconscious reprogramming expert, and a relationship coach, sharing insights on how the subconscious affects our sexual experiences and so much more!

You'll hear:

• Kate's personal journey with hypnotherapy 
• How hypnotherapy works as a tool for accessing deep emotions, not as mind control
• The importance of therapy for subconscious associations and recognizing that you're not "broken" but in need of healing
• Why it's important to tackle the emotional and physical sides of issues like sexual problems
•  Practical tips for shifting your mindset from negative to positive, so you can use your subconscious to improve your life

Thank you so much for listening!  Don't forget to share on your social media and tag me if you loved this episode!

Connect with Kate!
Instagram: @KateShelor

Support the show

Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

We're back with another episode of the Owning You Sexual Self Podcast! This week I've got on an amazing guest, Susan Bratton! She is a champion and advocate for all those who desire intimacy and passion their whole life long. She’s created hundreds of techniques that transform “having sex” into making love and is the world’s most well-respected sexual biohacker. I'm so excited for you all to hear every wonderful thing she has to say! 

In this episode:

• Learn how to transform sex into profound lovemaking through enhanced communication and connection
• How effective bedroom communication is absolutely needed for a fulfilling sex life
• Different techniques to discover and stimulate various types of orgasms, promoting pleasure and satisfaction for both partners
• How becoming a "beginner" again will vastly improve your sexual experiences
• The incredible things that can happen when you treat your partner as they desire to be treated instead of how you want to be treated

Thank you so much for listening!  Don't forget to share on your social media and tag me if you loved this episode!

Resources:
SexualSoulmatePact.com
OrgasmicIntercouse.com
MyRelationshipMagic.com
PleasureProtocol.com

Connect with Susan:
Website: BetterLover.com
Social Media: @SusanBratton

Support the show

Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

Hello! I'm back with another episode of the Owning Your Sexual Self Podcast! This week I've got on amazing guest, Dr. Moali. She is a sex and relationship expert, clinical psychologist, and host of the Sexology Podcast.  With her expertise as a certified sex therapist, educator, and speaker, she has positively impacted thousands of couples worldwide. We'll be talking all about how to reignite your spark and connection in long-term relationships!

In this episode:

• Some issues long-term couples face with sexual intimacy and why these struggles are often ignored.
• Practical strategies for initiating sex in a long-term relationship.
• How to communicate with your partner about sexual needs and desires outside the bedroom to foster a healthier connection.
• The differences between spontaneous and responsive desire and how to navigate these dynamics within your relationship.
• The importance of giving positive feedback and having post-intimacy discussions to reinforce successful experiences and encourage more frequent connections.

Thank you so much for listening!  Don't forget to share on your social media and tag me if you loved this episode!

Connect with Dr. Moali
Sexology Podcast
Instagram: @SexologyPodcast

Support the show

Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com

Hello hello! I'm back with a solo episode of the Owning Your Sexual Self podcast! I'm going to be talking all about healthy communication, and going over how to use my communication guide that I've put together for you all to use! 

In this episode:

• Techniques for initiating conversations without triggering alarm or defensiveness
• Tips for checking in with partners and scheduling important discussions
• What the HALT method is and how to use it
• Emphasizing teamwork and shared goals in relationships
• How to use active listening and validating emotions during conversations
• The importance of continuous, compassionate communication to break negative patterns

Resources
Conscious Communication Guide & The Relationship Regroup

Support the show

Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com