On Attachment (Stephanie Rigg)
Explorez tous les épisodes de On Attachment
| Date | Titre | Durée | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 21 Apr 2022 | #1: 5 Traits of the Anxious Attachment Style | 00:21:31 | |
In this episode, we're unpacking 5 key traits of the anxious attachment style - particularly in the context of adult romantic relationships. We'll talk about the anxious person's high need for love and affection, the fear of abandonment, struggles with uncertainty and inconsistency, overthinking, and jealousy. Highlighted Links
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| 21 Apr 2022 | #2: 5 Things You Need to Know About Attachment Styles | 00:16:28 | |
Most of us have heard about attachment styles and attachment theory - but in this episode, I'm breaking down some common misconceptions and clarifications. Join me as we discuss things like whether attachment styles can change, whether you can fall into multiple attachment styles, and whether it's possible to shift from insecure to secure attachment. Highlighted Links
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| 22 Apr 2022 | #3: Q&A: On Dating & Anxious Attachment | 00:19:05 | |
In this Q&A style episode, we're diving into questions from the audience around dating - and particularly, dating as an anxiously attached person. Some of the topics covered include how to regulate anxiety around dating, how to manage expectations and let go of the idea of "the one", how to know when to stop giving someone another chance, and what to do when they say they don't want a relationship. Highlighted Links
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| 26 Apr 2022 | #4: 5 Traits of the Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Style | 00:18:21 | |
In this episode, we're unpacking 5 traits of the dismissive-avoidant attachment style. We'll cover the dismissive-avoidant's fierce independence, their struggles with intimacy & commitment, their high self-esteem, their sometimes rigid boundaries and expectations, and their use of distance as a protective mechanism. Highlighted Links
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| 29 Apr 2022 | #5: 5 Traits of the Fearful Avoidant Attachment Style | 00:19:22 | |
In this episode, we're exploring 5 traits of the lesser-known fearful avoidant (or disorganised) attachment style. We'll cover the fearful avoidant's conflict between wanting intimacy but also fearing it, their combination of anxious and avoidant behaviours, their difficulty trusting others and fear of betrayal, their high levels of emotional attunement, and their struggles with self-sabotage, guilt and shame. Highlighted Links
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| 29 Apr 2022 | #6: Q&A: On Anxious-Avoidant Relationships | 00:17:21 | |
In this episode, I'm answering your questions around how to navigate relationships with avoidant partners. We're covering topics like how to effectively communicate with an avoidant partner, whether an avoidant partner will ever realise they're avoidant, whether an anxious person can be in a healthy relationship with an avoidant person, and how to reconnect with an avoidant partner after a period of distance. Highlighted Links
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| 03 May 2022 | #7: The Anxious-Avoidant Trap | 00:19:44 | |
In this episode, we're diving into the anxious-avoidant trap - aka, what happens when an anxious and an avoidant person end up in a relationship. We'll cover what the anxious-avoidant trap usually entails, how these two attachment styles clash, why they're so often attracted to each other, and most importantly, how to make it work. Highlighted Links
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| 05 May 2022 | #8: Q&A: On All Things Love & Relationships | 00:25:02 | |
In this week's Q&A episode, we're exploring a mixed bag of love & relationship questions. Topics include how to navigate conflict with a partner who won't engage, how to manage your anxiety when physically apart from your partner, why you might be attracted to unhealthy people, and what to do when you're one foot in, one foot out of a relationship. Highlighted Links
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| 11 May 2022 | #9: 5 Steps to Working Through a Trigger | 00:26:01 | |
In this episode, I'm diving into 5 steps to working through a trigger. I'll be discussing the importance of nervous system regulation to your healing journey, why talk therapy alone doesn't work, and what to do to self-soothe and self-regulate when you feel activated and overwhelmed so that you don't sabotage your relationship with unhealthy, fear-driven behaviours. Highlighted Links
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| 18 May 2022 | #10: 5 Tips for Navigating a Break-Up | 00:17:50 | |
In this episode, I'm offering 5 tips for processing and navigating a break-up. We'll be discussing topics like managing expectations around the challenges of a break-up, shifting how you relate to seeking closure, the stories we tell ourselves, and how to rediscover who we are after a relationship ends. Highlighted Links
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| 24 May 2022 | #11: How to Heal Your Anxious Attachment | 00:19:11 | |
In this episode, I'm giving you the lowdown on my signature methodology for how to heal anxious attachment. We'll discuss exactly what's involved in learning to shift from anxious to secure attachment, including reprogramming core beliefs and learning to regulate your nervous system. We'll also cover tools and skills like boundaries, communication and managing expectations. Highlighted Links
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| 01 Jun 2022 | #12: How to Set Boundaries | 00:19:40 | |
In this episode, we're talking all things boundaries - what they are, what they aren't, how to figure out what your boundaries are and how to set and enforce them. We'll also discuss why boundaries are the antidote to people-pleasing, the saviour complex and burnout. Highlighted Links
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| 15 Jun 2022 | #13: How to Navigate the Fear of Rejection | 00:14:57 | |
In this episode, we're diving into the fear of rejection. Rejection is something so many of us struggle with, but for some people it can be really debilitating. We'll discuss how to navigate the fear of rejection and how this fear interfaces with other behaviours like approval-seeking and chronic people-pleasing. Highlighted Links
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| 22 Jun 2022 | #14: 5 Ways to Support an Avoidant Partner | 00:20:33 | |
In this episode, we're diving into 5 ways to support an avoidant partner - so that you can cultivate greater understanding and connection, and build a safe, secure relationship. We'll touch on whether it's a good idea to tell your partner that they're avoidant, how to communicate your needs in a way that your partner can receive them, how not to communicate with an avoidant partner, and how your partner's love languages might differ from yours. Highlighted Links
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| 04 Jul 2022 | #15: 5 Ways to Support an Anxiously Attached Partner | 00:18:59 | |
In this episode, we're diving into 5 ways to support an anxiously attached partner. This is a follow-up to our previous episode which discussed how to support an avoidant partner. We'll discuss things like openness and transparency as an antidote to uncertainty, how to manage your need for space in relationship with an anxious person, how to give them reassurance and help them to feel loved, and more. Highlighted Links
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| 12 Jul 2022 | #16: Anxious Attachment, Conflict & Communication | 00:21:06 | |
In this episode, we're talking about anxious attachment, conflict & communication. We'll dive into why anxiously attached people struggle with identifying and communicating their needs, how to navigate conflict aversion fuelled by a fear of abandonment, and tools to navigate communication and conflict in your relationship in a healthier, more adaptive manner so you can avoid the cycle of resentment and rupture. Highlighted Links
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| 19 Jul 2022 | 5 Differences Between the Fearful and Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Styles | 00:18:40 | |
Ever wondered what differentiates the fearful avoidant and the dismissive avoidant attachment styles? In this episode, I'm breaking down 5 key differences between these two types. We cover things like level of emotional attunement, relationship to boundaries, shame and guilt, and openness to personal development work. Highlighted Links
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| 26 Jul 2022 | #18: Relationship Red Flags & Green Flags | 00:21:32 | |
In this episode, I'm sharing with you 5 of the red flags that I see in relationships, along with their healthier, "green flag" alternatives. We'll talk through things like knowing where you stand with someone, communication of needs and concerns, trust and commitment, how integrated you are into each other's lives, and how you approach conflict (and repair). Highlighted Links
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| 03 Aug 2022 | #19: Should I Stay or Should I Go? | 00:15:33 | |
In this episode, we're diving into the challenging topic of how to know whether and when to walk away from a relationship that isn't working. I offer you five guiding questions that will lead you to greater clarity, insight and awareness in making the decision of whether to stay and keep trying, or whether it's time to go. Highlighted Links
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| 09 Aug 2022 | #20: How to Find Closure After a Break-Up | 00:21:31 | |
In this week's episode, we're talking all things closure: what it is, why it's so elusive, and why certain people are more affected than others by an ending that lacks closure. I'll also share some tips on steps you can take if you're finding yourself wanting (but struggling to find) closure after a break-up, so you can take back control and let go with grace. Highlighted Links
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| 16 Aug 2022 | #21: Break-Up Q&A: The "No-Contact" Period, Jealousy & Low Self-Worth, Feeling Blindsided, & Dating Mindset | 00:26:48 | |
In this episode, I'm answering all your break-up related questions! We're covering whether and when to break a "no-contact" period, how to navigate jealousy and comparison around an ex's new partner, what to do when you feel blindsided by a break-up and have no closure, and more. Highlighted Links
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| 24 Aug 2022 | #22: 5 Reasons Why Anxiously Attached People Struggle with Break-ups | 00:19:10 | |
If you're someone with an anxious attachment style, there's a good chance you've really struggled to cope with relationship break-ups at some point in your life. And while break-ups are hard across the board, anxiously attached people tend to have an especially hard time wading through this emotional experience. Highlighted Links
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| 30 Aug 2022 | #23: 5 Questions to Ask Before Getting Back with Your Ex | 00:20:40 | |
In this episode, we're talking about whether it's a good idea to get back together with your ex - and under what circumstances. I offer you 5 questions for reflection before you make a decision, which will help you find clarity on whether it's really what you want or whether you are acting from fear, scarcity or unworthiness. Highlighted Links
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| 07 Sep 2022 | #24: Special Episode: Behind the Scenes of our Relationship (w/ my partner Joel) | 00:36:27 | |
In this episode, I'm joined by my partner Joel to answer all of your questions about our relationship. We share everything from how we met to how we navigate conflict, our differing attachment styles and love languages, and what makes our relationship work. Highlighted Links
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| 14 Sep 2022 | #25: 5 Dating Tips for Anxiously Attached People | 00:19:41 | |
In this episode, I'm sharing 5 dating tips for anxiously attached people. Many anxiously attached people have a tough time in the dating process - becoming attached too quickly, overthinking, second-guessing, and having an uncanny ability to look past red flags and become invested in someone's potential. This episode will offer you some tips and guidelines to counter these very common patterns, so you can approach dating from a place of self-worth, self-respect and self-confidence. Highlighted Links
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| 20 Sep 2022 | #26: Attachment & Sex Q&A: Casual Sex & Anxious Attachment, Sex in Toxic vs Healthy Relationships, & Talking About Sex w/ Avoidant Partners | 00:23:40 | |
In this week's episode, I'm answering your questions around how attachment styles influence the way we relate to and experience sex. We talk about whether casual sex is a bad idea for anxiously attached people, why sex in toxic relationships can feel so much more exciting than in secure relationships, and how to talk to an avoidant partner about sex and sexual desires. Highlighted Links
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| 28 Sep 2022 | #27: 5 Reasons You Might Be Attracted to Unavailable People | 00:19:14 | |
In this week's episode, we're talking 5 reasons why you might be attracted to unavailable people. I'm constantly being asked the question of "Why do I attract unavailable people?" - but my response is always to ask instead "Why are you attracted to unavailable people?". We'll talk about negative core beliefs, family of origin dynamics, difficulty receiving support, saviour complexes, and more. Highlighted Links
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| 04 Oct 2022 | #28: 5 Signs You Need Better Boundaries | 00:18:39 | |
When it comes to building healthy relationships, all roads lead back to boundaries. In this week's episode, I'm offering 5 signs that you might need better boundaries. The truth is, most people have poor boundaries - whether that looks like saying yes when you really mean no, taking responsibility for other people's problems or emotional states, burning yourself out or failing to follow through on the boundaries you do set, this episode will point you in the direction of where your focus needs to be. Highlighted Links
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| 08 Nov 2022 | #33: What Causes an Insecure Attachment Style? | 00:20:51 | |
In this episode, we're unpacking some of the common origin stories of each insecure attachment style. We'll look at what causes anxious attachment, dismissive-avoidant attachment and disorganised/fearful avoidant attachment, with a particular focus on early childhood and family systems. Key themes discussed include inconsistency, emotional neglect, and chaotic home environments, and how each of these can shape the attachment blueprint of a child. Highlighted Links
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| 01 Nov 2022 | #32: Q&A: Dishonesty & Avoidant Partners, Boundaries Around Space, Trust & Privacy, Sexual Rejection & more | 00:16:35 | |
In this week's episode I'm answering your questions - with a particular focus on anxious-avoidant relationship dynamics. We're discussing why people with an avoidant attachment style might use evasiveness or dishonesty as a distancing strategy, how to communicate boundaries around space with an avoidant partner, how to navigate trust & privacy, how to approach the topic of exclusivity in early dating, and what to do when your partner rejects your sexual advances. Highlighted Links
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| 11 Oct 2022 | #29: 5 Ways to Improve Your Self-Worth | 00:15:34 | |
This week, we're talking all about self-worth. Self-worth is something I get asked about a lot - so I know how much people struggle with feelings of unworthiness and low self-esteem. To that end, I'm offering you 5 ways to start building up your self-worth so that you can feel more confident and comfortable in who you are and what you have to offer. Highlighted Links
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| 18 Oct 2022 | #30: 6 Signs You're Becoming More Secure | 00:18:55 | |
This week, we're diving into 6 signs that you're becoming more secure in your relationships. Often our attention is focused on what's wrong in our relationships - on where we need to be working to improve. So it's a refreshing change to be able to share with you some of the signs that the work is paying off, and you're becoming more grounded, confident and healthy in the way you relate to others and yourself. Highlighted Links
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| 25 Oct 2022 | #31: 5 Tips to Improve Your Relationship Communication Skills | 00:16:53 | |
This week, I'm sharing 5 tips to improve your relationship communication skills. Communication is one of those areas of relationships where most of us are running on a less-than-ideal autopilot. Fortunately, you can learn new communication skills quickly and easily, so that you start seeing immediate returns on investment in your relationship. Highlighted Links
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| 15 Nov 2022 | #34: "What If I Outgrow My Partner?" | 00:20:26 | |
Today's episode is exploring the topic of what to do if you want to heal & grow... but your partner doesn't. This can be a really challenging experience, and is particularly common for those in an anxious-avoidant dynamic. Fortunately, this doesn't have to mark the beginning of the end of your relationship - and in this episode, I'm sharing some mindset shifts and tips so that you can focus on your growth and trust that the rest will take care of itself. Highlighted Links
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| 22 Nov 2022 | #35: 5 Tips for Dealing with Regret & Self-Blame | 00:15:25 | |
In this week's episode, I'm sharing 5 tips to help you process feelings of regret, shame and self-blame about things that may have happened in your past relationships. Regret can be so crippling, but it can also present us with a powerful opportunity - to reflect, to learn, and to do better next time - and today's tips are going to help you make the most of your regret rather than letting it get the better of you. Highlighted Links
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| 29 Nov 2022 | #36: Q&A: Healing Anxious Attachment, How to Manage Texting Anxiety, Identifying & Expressing Needs, & Dealing w/ Boundaries from Avoidant Partners | 00:25:27 | |
This week is a Q&A-style episode, where I'm answering your questions all about anxious attachment! We'll cover what it actually means to "heal" anxious attachment, how to manage anxiety around texting someone, how to identify and express needs as an anxiously attached person, and how to deal with being on the receiving end of an avoidant partner's boundaries. Highlighted Links
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| 06 Dec 2022 | #37: Anxious Attachment & Inconsistency | 00:24:01 | |
In this week's episode, we're talking all about anxious attachment & inconsistency. Inconsistency is a real point of sensitivity for anxiously attached folks, and we'll be talking through what that can look like, where it comes from, and some tools and reframes to support you in navigating the ebbs & flows of relationships from a more secure base. Highlighted Links
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| 14 Dec 2022 | #38: The 3 Stages of Healing Anxious Attachment | 00:21:13 | |
In this week's episode, I'm sharing a trend I notice in people with anxious attachment as they move through their healing journey. I'm sharing my observation of three key "stages" or mindsets that people typically fall into, and which mindset will set you up for the most success in meaningfully shifting your anxious attachment style. Highlighted Links
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| 30 Dec 2022 | #39: 5 Pieces of Life Advice for 2023 | 00:16:16 | |
In our last episode of 2022, I'm sharing 5 pieces of life advice to help you enter 2023 with intention, inspiration and clarity around who you want to be and what you want to create in your life. Highlighted Links
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| 17 Jan 2023 | #40: 5 Pieces of Unhelpful Relationship Advice (& What to do Instead) | 00:24:28 | |
It's easy to feel overwhelmed and confused with the vast amounts of (often-conflicting) relationship advice going around - which is why in this week's episode, I'm calling out 5 pieces of unhelpful relationship advice, as well as some more constructive alternatives. I'll give my take on common advice like "never settle", "you have to love yourself first", and "when you find the one, you'll just know!". Highlighted Links
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| 19 Jan 2023 | #41: Is It Possible to Go from Anxious to Avoidant after Heartbreak? | 00:10:03 | |
In this episode, I'm answering the community question of "I used to be anxiously attached, but after discovering my husband's infidelity, I find myself being avoidant with potential new partners. How do I find the healthy middle ground?" We talk about changing attachment styles, fear, betrayal and how we can start to create more safety more ourselves after we've been hurt. Highlighted Links
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| 26 Jan 2023 | #43: "How do I navigate the tendency to lose myself in a long-term relationship as anxiously attached person?" | 00:10:45 | |
In this week's Q&A episode, I'm answering a community question about the (very common) tendency to lose oneself as an anxiously attached person in relationships. I'll talk through why this happens so often and easily, and what you can do to counter it. Highlighted Links
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| 23 Jan 2023 | #42: 5 Similarities Between Anxious & Avoidant People | 00:27:34 | |
We often speak about the many ways in which anxious and avoidantly attached people differ in their relationship styles. But in this episode, I'm flipping the script and highlighting some similarities between these so-called conflicting styles. We cover relationship fears, boundaries, vulnerability, conflict and more - and my hope is that you'll walk away with a greater capacity to approach yourself and the people in your life with curiosity and compassion. Highlighted Links
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| 31 Jan 2023 | #44: 5 Reasons You Might Struggle to Apologise | 00:16:47 | |
In this episode, we're talking all about apologies - and specifically, why they might feel so hard sometimes. Being able to apologise is so fundamental to healthy repair, but for many of us, can feel inexplicably challenging. After listening to today's episode, my hope is that you'll have greater clarity around why apologies can feel so hard, and how to address the underlying resistance so you can foster greater connection and emotional maturity in your relationships. What we cover:
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| 02 Feb 2023 | #45: "How do I tell my partner they are avoidant so we can do the work?" | 00:15:49 | |
In this episode, I'm answering a question I receive all the time which is: "How do I tell my partner they are avoidant so that we can start doing the work?" We cover:
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| 07 Feb 2023 | #46: 5 Tips for Rebuilding After a Long-Term Relationship Ends | 00:20:36 | |
In this episode, I'm sharing 5 tips for rebuilding after a long-term relationship ends. Let's face it: break-ups are painful at the best of times. But when the relationship was a long-term one, it can be even more challenging to navigate our "new" life without our ex in it. I'll be sharing tips to support you through the life cycle of your break-up - from the initial grieving process all the way through to re-entering the dating world. We cover:
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| 09 Feb 2023 | #47: "We've been together a year and I've just seen he's still using Tinder. Can trust be rebuilt?" | 00:13:04 | |
"We've been together a year and I've just seen he's still using Tinder. Can trust be rebuilt?" Today's episode is a community Q&A, and I'm answering a hard question about rebuilding after discovering a breach of trust. We'll talk through:
Recommended resources
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| 14 Feb 2023 | #48: 5 Questions to Assess the Emotional Health of Your Relationship | 00:18:18 | |
In today's episode, we're talking all about emotional health & safety in relationships. If you've ever wondered what "emotional safety" actually means, look no further - we'll be discussing some guiding principles and questions you can ask to assess how emotionally healthy your relationship is. And most importantly, what you can do to improve the emotional state of your relationship - because let's face it, this is going to be a work in progress for most of us. We cover:
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| 16 Feb 2023 | #49: "My ex moved on immediately post break-up and I can't help but take it personally." | 00:13:25 | |
In today's Q&A episode, I'm answering the question of "My ex moved on immediately post break-up and I can't help but take it personally." This is a really common pain point for people post-break-up, so don't beat yourself up if you're in this situation (or have been there in the past!)
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| 22 Feb 2023 | #50: Navigating Perfectionism in Anxious-Avoidant Relationships | 00:20:58 | |
In this episode, I'm talking all about perfectionism - but probably not in the way you've heard it spoken about before. Perfectionism is often thought of as a personality quirk - a commitment to high achieving and having things a certain way. But when it comes to relationships, perfectionism can be a powerful protective strategy that keeps us from being seen and known as our authentic selves.
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| 23 Feb 2023 | #51: How to Initiate Hard Conversations with an Avoidant Partner | 00:18:06 | |
In today's Q&A episode, I'm sharing tips for initiating hard conversations with an avoidant partner. This is a question I get a lot - how to express needs to an avoidant partner, how to set boundaries, how to share feedback. These conversations are already intimidating for many anxiously attached folks, and when combined with the sensitivities of the avoidant partner, can be a perfect storm. We cover:
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| 28 Feb 2023 | #52: 6 Tips for Avoidant People in Becoming More Secure | 00:23:06 | |
In today's episode, I'm offering 6 tips on how avoidant people can become more secure in their relationships. We cover:
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| 02 Mar 2023 | #53: "I'm anxious, he's avoidant. Is it weird that I want more sex than him?" | 00:15:06 | |
In this episode, I'm answering the question of "I'm anxious, he's avoidant. Is it weird that I want more sex than him?"
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| 08 Mar 2023 | #54: From Honeymoon Period to Power Struggle: Navigating the Stages of Relationship | 00:21:52 | |
In this episode, we're talking all about the stages of a relationship - specifically, what happens when we transition from the honeymoon period of a relationship (fuelled by chemistry, romance and infatuation) to the power struggle (where all our flaws and wounds come to the fore).
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| 09 Mar 2023 | #55: "I can't help but hope that my ex comes back. How do I let go so I can move on?" | 00:11:17 | |
In this Q&A episode, we're talking all about moving on after a break-up. Specifically, what to do when we want to move on, but deep down we're still very much hoping our ex will reach out and want to rekindle. We cover:
You can download my free guided meditation on finding closure & letting go here. Highlighted Links
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| 14 Mar 2023 | #56: 5 Ways to Support a Fearful Avoidant Partner | 00:23:36 | |
In today's episode, I'm sharing 5 ways to support a partner with a fearful avoidant (AKA disorganised) attachment style. The fearful avoidant attachment style is often considered the most complex and challenging of the attachment styles, characterised by a conflicting push-pull between wanting intimacy and fearing it.
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| 17 Mar 2023 | #57: The Difference Between Privacy and Secrecy in Relationships | 00:12:54 | |
In today's episode, we're talking about the difference between privacy and secrecy. Depending on where you sit on the attachment spectrum, you may have a complicated relationship with privacy - both your own and others'. We'll discuss where the line is between privacy and secrecy, and what to do if you find other people's privacy uncomfortable or triggering. We cover:
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| 22 Mar 2023 | #58: From Anxious to Secure: 6 Shifts You'll Notice As You Heal | 00:20:43 | |
In anticipation of the upcoming launch of my signature program Healing Anxious Attachment, today's episode is all about what changes you can expect as you heal your anxious attachment. I'll be sharing 6 shifts that you'll notice as you do the healing work and become more secure within yourself and in your relationships.
Make sure you sign up to Healing Anxious Attachment to save $100! Highlighted Links
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| 23 Mar 2023 | #59: "How should I bring up moving in together with my avoidant partner?" | 00:17:24 | |
In today's Q&A episode, I'm answering the question of how to bring up wanting to move in together with an avoidant partner. This episode will be super helpful for anyone in this same situation, or who is otherwise wanting to have a "what are we?" type chat with their avoidant partner.
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| 29 Mar 2023 | #60: 5 Reasons You're Not Getting Your Needs Met (& What to Do About It) | 00:27:35 | |
In this episode, we're talking all about needs - specifically, looking at some common reasons why you're not getting your needs met in a relationship. It's easy to feel defeated and hurt when our needs are going unmet, but oftentimes there's far more that's within our control than we might think. We'll cover:
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| 30 Mar 2023 | #61: What to Do When You're Feeling Stuck in Your Relationship | 00:14:35 | |
In this Q&A episode, I'm speaking to the common conundrum of what to do when you're feeling stuck in your relationship. This often happens when we've been trying for some time to make changes (or hoping that our partner will make changes), but we're just not seeing any progress. I'll share an unexpected way that you can shift out of low self-worth and hopelessness, and into a more empowered, self-confident state that will allow you to navigate whatever is happening in your relationship with clarity & trust. Highlighted Links
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| 05 Apr 2023 | #62: Understanding Your Nervous System with Sarah Baldwin | 00:55:05 | |
In today's episode, I'm speaking with Sarah Baldwin - a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner and Trauma Coach who is trained in Polyvagal interventions and is on the training team at the Polyvagal Institute. Sarah specialises in somatic trauma healing, attachment work, parts and inner child work and nervous system regulation.
and so much more! Highlighted Links
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| 07 Apr 2023 | #63: "How to deal with an all-consuming fear that my partner will cheat on me?" | 00:19:54 | |
In today's Q&A episode, I'm answering the question of how to navigate an all-consuming fear & paranoia around a partner cheating - particularly in circumstances where that fear is seemingly unwarranted.
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| 12 Apr 2023 | #64: The Role of Criticism in Anxious-Avoidant Dynamics | 00:23:52 | |
Today's episode is all about the role of criticism in anxious-avoidant dynamics. Both anxious and avoidant people have been known to deploy criticism as a strategy to manage fears and self-protect in relationships - but this will often look different (and be motivated by different drives) on each side. One thing's for sure: no matter how it shows up, criticism is really harmful to relationships - so if this is something you struggle with, you've come to the right place. We'll cover:
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| 13 Apr 2023 | #65: "Can a relationship between two anxiously attached people work?" | 00:16:06 | |
In today's Q&A episode, I'm answering the question of "Can a relationship between two anxiously attached people work?". I get variations of this question a lot - basically, why wouldn't anxious and avoidant people save themselves the trouble by sticking to their own kind? Well, as always, it's not quite that simple...
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| 18 Apr 2023 | #66: How to Leave a Relationship (When You Know You Need To) | 00:21:12 | |
In this episode, we're talking about how to leave a relationship from the perspective of knowing that you need to. Break-ups are hard - no matter the circumstances - and most of the advice tends to be directed toward people who've been broken up with, rather than those doing the breaking up. We'll cover:
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| 20 Apr 2023 | #67: Why Healthy Relationships Can Feel Boring | 00:14:23 | |
In today's episode, I'm answering the question of why healthy relationships can feel boring - especially if you're someone who's accustomed to drama and chaos in your love life.
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| 25 Apr 2023 | #68: How to Talk About Sex with Vanessa & Xander Marin | 00:50:31 | |
In today's episode, I'm joined by Vanessa & Xander Marin. She’s a sex therapist with 20 years of experience, he’s a regular dude, and they recently co-authored their first book Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life, which became an instant NYT bestseller.
Follow Vanessa & Xander on Instagram @vanessaandxander, and tune in to their podcast, Pillow Talks, for totally do-able sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors, and so much more. Highlighted Links
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| 28 Apr 2023 | #69: "When is taking a break in a relationship a good idea?" | 00:13:55 | |
In today's episode, I'm answering the community question of "when is it a good idea to take a break in a relationship?" This can be a really tricky situation, particularly where one person wants to take a break and the other doesn't.
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| 02 May 2023 | #70: 5 Tips for a Healthy, Balanced Nervous System | 00:22:32 | |
In today's episode, we're talking all about nervous system regulation in the context of emotional wellbeing. As many of you know, I'm a big advocate of incorporating bottom-up, somatically focused tools and awareness as part of the bigger picture of growth and healing. And a key piece of that work is understanding how to understand and support your nervous system.
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| 04 May 2023 | #71: "Is he avoidant or just not that into me?" | 00:12:06 | |
In today's episode, I'm answering the question of "How do I know if someone is avoidant or just not that interested in me?" This is a question I get A LOT - and the answer might surprise you. Highlighted Links
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| 09 May 2023 | #72: 5 Tips for Loving Someone Well | 00:20:32 | |
In today's episode, I'm sharing 5 tips on how to love someone well. So often, we think we are being loving towards someone - when really, we are pursuing our own agenda of loving them with strings attached. We love in order to get something in return, and then feel secretly resentful when things don't go our way. So instead, I'm sharing how to love someone in a way that feels pure and open-hearted.
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| 11 May 2023 | #73: Why We Want to Believe in "The One" | 00:10:45 | |
In today's episode, I'm unpacking the concept of "the one". When it comes to relationships, many of us have absorbed the conditioning that there is some perfect person out there for us - and our only job is to find them. This can lead us down a rabbit hole of doubt, comparison and low self-worth.
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| 16 May 2023 | #74: Helping Men Thrive in Life & Relationships with Connor Beaton (@mantalks) | 00:57:46 | |
In today's episode, I'm talking with NY-based coach, teacher and speaker, Connor Beaton about the challenges men are facing in our modern society. Connor and I talk through how understanding the experience of men better, we can cultivate healthier relationships and happier and more fulfilled lives. Note: while On Attachment aims to be as inclusive as possible, this conversation is focused primarily on male-female relationships and the dynamics that can arise therein. We know that's not everyone's experience, so feel free to take from this episode what resonates with you, and leave what doesn't. We'll cover:
Find Connor Beaton's work on Instagram (@mantalks), check out his courses and membership on his website, and be sure to purchase his best-selling book Men's Work. Highlighted Links
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| 18 May 2023 | #75: Is "once a cheater, always a cheater" true? | 00:13:15 | |
Cheating within relationships can cause so much pain, grief and sensitivity around betray and infidelity. In today's Q&A style episode, I’m sharing my thoughts on if people can really change if they’ve cheated in the past and advice for people in the situation with concerns that their partner may not stay faithful. We'll cover:
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| 23 May 2023 | #76: 5 Communication Mistakes You're Making (& What to do instead) | 00:23:40 | |
In today's episode, I’m sharing five communication and conflict mistakes that I often see people making in relationships and what you can do instead to bridge a positive connection with your partner. We'll cover:
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| 25 May 2023 | #77: "How to enjoy being single when I really want a relationship?" | 00:15:18 | |
When you really want a relationship, enjoying being single can be something incredibly challenging. In today's Q&A style episode, I’m diving into how to enjoy being single when all you really want is a relationship. We'll cover:
Use the code PHOENIX for $150 off the Higher Love Course - https://www.stephanierigg.com/higher-love Highlighted Links
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| 01 Jun 2023 | #79: 5 Reasons Why People Cheat | 00:26:12 | |
A couple of weeks ago, I shared my thoughts on if “once a cheater, always a cheater” is true, and today I’m continuing the conversation around the reasons why people cheat in a relationship and getting curious around what’s driving these behaviours. For some people this may be a challenging episode to listen to, so please make sure you’re in the right mindset to listen. We'll cover:
Use the code JUNE50 for 50% off 3 masterclasses or the Higher Love Course - https://www.stephanierigg.com Highlighted Links
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| 06 Jun 2023 | #80: How to Get an Avoidant Partner to Open Up | 00:18:56 | |
This week, I’m answering the community question, “How do I get my avoidant partner to open up?”. I’ll dive into how to pave the way for more genuine, authentic connection and what that looks like for people with avoidant attachment styles and anxious attachment styles within relationships.
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| 08 Jun 2023 | #81: The Gift of Anxious-Avoidant Relationships | 00:18:06 | |
So much of the content around attachment theory focuses on the challenges that anxious-avoidant pairings can present. And while those challenges are undoubtedly very real, there are also real gifts within an anxious-avoidant dynamic when the individuals involved are prepared to meet in the middle. Today I’m sharing what those gifts can look like, and tips on making the most of your anxious-avoidant relationship so that it can become a space for healing. We'll cover:
Use the code JUNE50 for 50% off my masterclasses or the Higher Love course - https://www.stephanierigg.com Highlighted Links
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| 13 Jun 2023 | #82: “Am I Being Unreasonable?” (Part 1) | 00:22:33 | |
One of the things I’m most often asked is “How do I know if I’m being unreasonable in my relationship?”. This can be a really tough enquiry to determine for yourself, particularly when you’re getting a lot of pushback and self-trust may be lacking. We'll cover:
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| 30 May 2023 | #78: Understanding Your Origin Wounds with Vienna Pharaon (@mindfulmft) | 00:52:20 | |
In today's episode, I'm joined by Vienna Pharaon. Vienna is a licensed marriage & family therapist, creator of the hugely successful @mindfulmft Instagram account, and recently published author of The Origins of You. Vienna has the gift of conveying complex and emotionally dense topics with such nuance. Today she joins me on the podcast to talk about origin wounds and how they impact patterns in relationships as adults and how we can honour our pain and experience. We'll cover:
Find Vienna on Instagram or via her website. Highlighted Links
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| 15 Jun 2023 | #83: How to Navigate Addiction to Drama with Dr Scott Lyons | 00:49:58 | |
If you’ve ever caught yourself wondering why you keep attracting the same type of person, this episode is for you. Today I’m joined by Dr Scott Lyons, a holistic psychologist, educator and author, to talk about addiction to drama, and why we may subconsciously seek out chaos and intensity in our lives and relationships (even when we think we're trying to avoid it). We'll cover:
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| 20 Jun 2023 | #84: 5 Reminders If You're Going Through a Break-Up | 00:20:27 | |
Unless you’ve married your high school sweetheart and lived happily ever after, you have likely experienced a breakup in your life. In today’s episode, I’m sharing 5 reminders and ways to support yourself while you're going through a break-up. We'll cover:
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| 22 Jun 2023 | #85: “Am I Being Unreasonable?” (Part 2) | 00:17:33 | |
In today’s episode, I’m continuing my series of answering your questions around the “reasonableness” of certain expectations and requests in relationship, with the goal of helping you build the muscle of discernment and capacity for self trust in navigating these nuances for yourself We'll cover:
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| 27 Jun 2023 | #86: 3 Tips for Building Self-Trust | 00:16:53 | |
In the absence of self trust, we see a lot of other dominoes fall in terms of self worth and self respect. This is something almost everyone I work with struggles with to some degree and it’s a challenging piece of the puzzle when it comes to our personal growth in relationships. In today’s episode, I’m sharing 3 tips for building self trust to help you to go out into the world and make aligned choices. We'll cover:
Use the code JUNE50 for 50% off 3 masterclasses or the Higher Love Course - https://www.stephanierigg.com Highlighted Links
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| 29 Jun 2023 | #87: The Art of Secure Relating with Stan Tatkin | 00:50:53 | |
In today's episode, I'm delighted to be joined by the one & only Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT. Stan is a clinician, researcher, teacher, and developer of PACT (a Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy), as well as being a prolific author of several best-selling books such as Wired for Love and most recently, In Each Other's Care. We'll cover:
Use the code JUNE50 for 50% off 3 masterclasses or the Higher Love course - https://www.stephanierigg.com Highlighted Links
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| 04 Jul 2023 | #88: The Anxious Dater's Guide: How to Remain Grounded in the Early Dating Phase | 00:25:20 | |
Is your anxiety getting the better of you in the early stages of dating? Well, take a deep breath and let's journey together through this episode where we unravel the common anxieties in early dating, particularly for those with an anxious attachment style.
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| 06 Jul 2023 | #89: How to Care Less About Others' Opinions (For the Recovering People Pleaser) | 00:13:10 | |
Are you feeling stuck in the perennial battle between seeking external validation and staying true to your authentic self? In today's Q&A episode, I'm sharing some thoughts on how to detach from unhealthy people-pleasing behaviours that ask us to trade our authenticity for belonging and approval. Highlighted Links
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| 11 Jul 2023 | #90: Breaking the Cycle of Situationships | 00:20:12 | |
Ever been stuck in a situationship, that in-between space where you're more than purely casual but not truly committed? In today's episode, we're unboxing this modern dating conundrum. Highlighted Links
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| 13 Jul 2023 | #91: How to Navigate Boundaries with an Ex-Partner | 00:20:14 | |
Ever been caught in that tricky situation of setting boundaries with an ex? Navigating this territory can be a daunting task at the best of times, and especially so when co-parenting or shared responsibilities are at play.
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| 18 Jul 2023 | #92: How to Manage Jealousy in Relationships | 00:21:00 | |
Unless you're a true outlier, there's a pretty good chance you've had some experience with jealousy. And yet, as universal as it is, jealousy is possibly one of the most maligned emotions we can have. Today's episode will also be beneficial for those grappling with jealousy resulting from a partner's past wrongdoings. Together, we'll learn how to create a safe space for addressing these feelings and communicating them respectfully. So tune in, and let's redefine your understanding of jealousy in relationships. Highlighted Links
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| 20 Jul 2023 | #93: Why Are "Toxic" Relationships So Hard to Recover From | 00:22:21 | |
Have you ever wondered why it can be so challenging to recover from toxic relationships? Why the drama and unpredictability leave you feeling more disoriented and overwhelmed than relieved? In today's episode, I'm here to guide you through this complex terrain. We'll unravel the dynamics of such relationships and expose the confusion, grief, and shame that often accompany them. We'll cover:
Join the waitlist for Healing Anxious Attachment https://www.stephanierigg.com/healing-anxious-attachment Heal from your break up, build deep self confidence, and find healthy, aligned love Highlighted Links
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| 25 Jul 2023 | #94: The Path to Healing Anxious Attachment | 00:34:27 | |
Anxious attachment can be incredibly exhausting - but it doesn't have to govern your future. And in today's episode, I'm going to be laying out the path to healing anxious attachment, walking you through the core pillars of my methodology. We'll also delve deep into the core beliefs that drive anxious attachment, and how addressing these stories and wounds can liberate us from the fear of abandonment and feelings of unworthiness. Join My Signature Program, Healing Anxious Attachment https://www.stephanierigg.com/healing-anxious-attachment Highlighted Links
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| 27 Jul 2023 | #95: 3 Essential Ingredients to Make a Relationship Work | 00:22:02 | |
Have you ever wondered why your relationship struggles persist, even when you love each other and have tried and tried to make it work?
Join Healing Anxious Attachment here! 🎉 Highlighted Links
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| 01 Aug 2023 | #96: The Importance of Discomfort in Life & Relationships | 00:23:22 | |
In today’s episode, we’re talking all about discomfort — specifically, why it’s so essential in any healing journey to reframe the way we approach and relate to getting uncomfortable.
Join My Signature Program, Healing Anxious Attachment https://www.stephanierigg.com/healing-anxious-attachment Highlighted Links
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| 03 Aug 2023 | #97: How a Fear of Abandonment Impacts Our Relationships | 00:18:45 | |
In today's episode, we're diving deep on the abandonment wound - a fear that lies at the heart of many insecure attachment patterns and relational dynamics. A fear of abandonment can show up in so many ways, and can keep us from experiencing relationships in a way that feels trusting, safe and secure.
Last Chance For This Round to Join My Signature Program, Healing Anxious Attachment https://www.stephanierigg.com/healing-anxious-attachment Highlighted Links
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| 08 Aug 2023 | #98: Ghosting: Why It Happens & How to Process | 00:15:45 | |
Does ghosting leave you feeling anxious, confused, and questioning your self-worth? If so, you’re not alone. Highlighted Links
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| 10 Aug 2023 | #99: Attachment Styles & Break-Ups | 00:23:39 | |
In today’s episode, we’re talking all about attachment styles and break-ups. While of course, break-ups are messy, personal and far from formulaic, there are undeniably certain themes in how our break-ups feel that can be traced to our attachment patterns. Use the code PHOENIX to save $150 off Higher Love - https://www.stephanierigg.com/higher-love Highlighted Links
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| 15 Aug 2023 | #100: How to Stop Taking Things So Personally | 00:19:29 | |
In today’s episode, I’m answering a listener’s question on how to stop taking things so personally. This is something a lot of us struggle with, and can lead us to internalise others’ behaviour in ways that damage our self-esteem and exacerbate our suffering.
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