Offline Thoughts (Nessa Kwizera)

Bill Gates is a man with many personas. He is the boy wonder that co-founded Microsoft despite being a college dropout. As the head of Microsoft he destroyed the competition, but eventually had to answer to congress over Microsoft's antitrust and monopolistic practices. Like a chameleon, he reinvented himself as a the world’s most generous man until the late 2010s when his relationship with convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein was exposed. This was just the tip of the iceberg. Whether global health, agricultural reform in African countries or educational reform in the USA - his seemingly good works all seem to belie his darker, self-serving agenda.

Share your thoughts and comments at offlinethoughts.podcast@gmail.com.

References:

The Bill Gates Problem by Tim Schwab

It’s No “Mistake” That Bill Gates Was Palling Around With Jeffrey Epstein by Natalie Shure

https://jacobin.com/2021/08/bill-gates-jeffrey-epstein-mistake-cnn-interview

The Drake vs Kendrick rap beef dominated the music industry news cycle for weeks, with fans on both sides egging on the beef for our entertainment. It is clear that Kendrick won this battle. Kendrick won by showcasing the fundamental ingredient that Drake lacks - authenticity.

Israel’s attack against the Palestinians since the 7 October 2023 attack by Hamas has left over 15,000 Palestinians dead and many more displaced. Israel’s attacks against defenceless Palestinians civilians has drawn protests and demonstrations globally, with increasing scrutiny on US foreign policy that continues to provide Israel with the military aid it uses to kill Palestinians. Tune in to discuss how we as global observers can stand with Palestine.

Please send me your thoughts and comments at offlinethoughts.podcast@gmail.com.

While it's generally understood that high-end fashion brands market prestige and status, it’s less obvious how this same manipulation is mirrored in military recruitment, which primarily targets people from low-income backgrounds. Both these industries prey on people's insecurities and their need for self-worth, offering false promises of value and social mobility. By commodifying both goods and lives, luxury brands and the military create illusions of empowerment, when in reality, they profit from the sacrifices of the working poor and disadvantaged.

Send any questions and comments to offlinethoughts.podcast@gmail.com and they will addressed in a future episode.

Materials you might find helpful:

BBC. (2018, July 19). Burberry burns bags, clothes, and perfume worth millions. BBC. Retrieved April 11, 2024, from https://www.bbc.com/news/business-44885983

Ilaria, M. (2018) 'The Chinese workers who assemble designer bags in Tuscany', The New Yorker, 16 April. Available at: https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2018/04/16/the-chinese-workers-who-assemble-designer-bags-in-tuscany(Accessed: 28 September 2024).

Workers World (2022) ‘How the war machine ‘recruits’ poor, oppressed youth, 20 December. Available at: https://www.workers.org/2022/12/68299/ (Accessed: 28 September 2024).

Bonnie Blue burst onto the national stage with her provocative marketing strategies for her OnlyFans account - recruiting young university students for filmed sexual acts. Most recently she became the internet's most infamous sensation when she allegedly had sex with 1,057 in just twelve hours. Often we are told women who engage in these kinds of extreme actions of self abuse are broken women who come from sad backgrounds. But what if women are not just victims of their circumstances but active participants in others' exploitation?

Key words: predatory women, OnlyFans, sex work, online fame; rage bait content

Please send your thoughts and questions to offlinethoughts.podcast@gmail.com.

Articles and resources:

NewsWeek (2025), Who is Bonnie Blue's Ex-Husband? OnlyFans Star Breaks Sex Record with Help:

https://www.newsweek.com/who-bonnie-blues-ex-husband-onlyfans-star-breaks-sex-record-help-2017089

DailyMail (2025), I waited in line alongside 1,000 other balaclava-clad men to have sex with Bonnie Blue - but when it was my turn, I couldn't go through with it:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-14289533/I-waited-line-alongside-1-000-balaclava-clad-men-sex-Bonnie-Blue-turn-it.html

DailyMail (2025), The reasons why Bonnie Blue must be 'lying' about sleeping with 1,000 men revealed:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-14287465/Bonnie-Blue-lying-sleeping-1-000-men-revealed.html

Police1 (2024), America’s most notorious female criminals:

https://www.police1.com/crime/articles/americas-most-notorious-female-criminals-31lgbUkw3xFw1ohu/

The Guardian (2019), Woman in India admits poisoning six family members with cyanide:

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/oct/07/woman-in-india-admits-poisoning-six-family-members-with-cyanide

Coach Stormy is a real life rags-to-riches story - from teen mom and former stripper to millionaire entrepreneur. She is now a wealth coach that helps women overcome their limitations to become financially independent. In addition to being a distributor and brand ambassador for TLC - Total Life Changes - she also runs the mentoring organisations Girl Hold My Hand and 1000 Families. But is there more to Coach Stormy's successes? Her detractors call her a scam artist and accuse her of running a pyramid scheme. Tune in to listen to the discourse.

I'd love to get your feedback and hear your thoughts and comments at offlinethoughts.podcast@gmail.com.

Mass psychology is used to shape our beliefs, desires, and actions. Whilst we may be aware that the advertisement and public relations industries are specifically designed to manipulate our desires and behaviours - we sometimes don't realise that propaganda is endemic in our educational system, our politics and that we often don't know that we have been propagandised.

Send any questions and comments to offlinethoughts.podcast@gmail.com and they will addressed in a future episode.

Materials you might find helpful:

Achbar, M. and Wintonick, P. (dirs.), 1992. Manufacturing Consent: Noam Chomsky and the Media. National Film Board of Canada.

Chomsky, N. and Herman, E.S., 1988. Manufacturing Consent: The Political Economy of the Mass Media. New York: Pantheon Books.

Lippmann, W., 1922. Public Opinion. New York: Harcourt, Brace and Company.

64Facets, 2023. Iconic Diamond Marketing Campaigns. 64Facets Fine Jewelry. Available at: https://64facets.com/blogs/64facets-blog/diamond-marketing-campaigns [Accessed 22 September 2024].

In the early hours of 4 December 2024, 26-year old Luigi Mangione walked up behind UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson and shot him dead. What followed was a five-day manhunt for Mangione. What made this case stand out in the public's imagination were many factors - an attractive and wealthy perpetrator from a powerful family, the theatre of the killing (a 3-D printed gun and silencer, engraved bullets, a manifesto railing against a broken healthcare system and corporate greed) and the public's jubilant support of the killer. But is Luigi the people's hero or a common terrorist?

Please send any thoughts and comments to offlinethoughts.podcast@gmail.com.

Materials you might find helpful:

Mangione Indictment – final as filed:

https://manhattanda.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/Mangione-Indictment-FINAL-as-filed.pdf

BBC (2024), Tracing the powerful family roots of suspected killer Luigi Mangione:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/crl3jkjxp75o

BBC (2024), Who was Brian Thompson, healthcare CEO gunned down in New York?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cvgpl2qn7l5o

ABC News (2024), What we know about Luigi Mangione, Ivy League grad charged in CEO's murder:

https://abcnews.go.com/US/unitedhealthcare-ceo-shooting-suspect/story?id=116460289

CNN (2024), I never got the impression he would self-destruct:’ Friends of suspect in fatal CEO shooting left in shock:

https://edition.cnn.com/2024/12/09/us/luigi-mangione-what-we-know-monday/index.html

Andrew Tate is a god-like figure to his legion of fans. He teaches them how to ‘escape The Matrix’, how to make money and how to have unlimited access to women and sex. To the rest of us - he’s a predator charged with human trafficking, forming a criminal organisation and sexual assault by the Romanian authorities. Currently under house arrest but enjoying a following of nearly 9 million followers on X (formerly known as Twitter), Tate is still radicalising a generation of boys and men. Tune in to listen to how it isn’t just his female victims he pimps -  his male fans are also being pimped in other equally profitable ways.

Send any questions and comments to offlinethoughts.podcast@gmail.com and they will addressed in a future episode.

Sometimes we find ourself in a series of bad friendships. We form friendships with people who take from us, treat us poorly, are unkind, or, in the extreme, who that don't wish us well. Although it's easy to play the victim, the truth is more complicated - in some ways we cultivate these friendships and keep these types of friends close because they fulfil some other need we have. That could be the need to be needed, to play the hero or martyr or perhaps to feel superior in some way.

Please share your thoughts and comments at offlinethoughts.podcast@gmail.com and they will addressed in a future episode.

Materials you might find helpful:

https://captainawkward.com/?s=friend+

OnlyFans describes itself as a revolutionary platform that gives its creators the freedom to produce highly personalised content for their fans. It should describe itself as a platform for prostitution that lures young women into engaging in activities that will ruin their lives, stigmatise them and trap them in poverty. The stats are clear - the average OnlyFans creator makes $150-180 per month and approximately 80% of creators make less than $100 per month. Lily Philips and others like her are the exception that proves the rule.

Please send any thoughts, questions and comments to offlinethoughts.podcast@gmail.com.

Materials you might find helpful

The New York Time (2022), “The ‘E-Pimps’ of OnlyFans”. Accessed online:

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/05/16/magazine/e-pimps-onlyfans.html

Delacosta, F. and Alexander, P. (1988), Sex Work: Writings by Women in the Sex Industry.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Sex-Work-Writings-Women-Industry/dp/0860681548

Surrogacy is booming—but at what cost? This episode looks at the dark side of the industry: the economic coercion of vulnerable women, exploitation in poorer countries, and the shocking ways in which surrogate mothers are treated by commissioning parents and surrogacy agencies.

Do couples who can't have children for whatever reason have the right to them? Even when surrogacy isn't commercialised or for-profit, is the choice by women to subject their bodies to pregnancy and birth the ultimate act of love, or a dystopian commodification of women’s bodies?

Key words: surrogacy, infertility, economic disparity, feminism, gay male couples, reproductive rights, celebrity surrogacy

Please send your questions and thoughts to offlinethoughts.podcast@gmail.com.

Materials you might find helpful:

CBC Network (2018), Gay rights and surrogacy wrongs: say “no” to wombs-for-rent:

https://cbc-network.org/2018/07/gay-rights-and-surrogacy-wrongs-say-no-to-wombs-for-rent/

Al Jazeera (2023), Surrogacy: Human right, or just wrong?:

https://www.aljazeera.com/amp/opinions/2023/9/8/surrogacy-human-right-or-just-wrong

The Standard (2020), Ignore the propaganda: surrogacy is not a gay rights issue – it is a women’s rights issue:

https://www.standard.co.uk/comment/comment/surrogacy-is-not-a-gay-rights-issue-it-is-a-women-s-rights-issue-a4568716.html

The Guardian (2015), Commercial surrogacy is a rigged market in wombs for rent:

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/feb/20/commercial-surrogacy-wombs-rent-same-sex-pregnancy

The Critic (2024), The love that can’t be erased:

https://thecritic.co.uk/the-love-that-cant-be-erased/

The Guardian (2014), Child abuse convictions of Gammy's father prompt investigation:

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/aug/05/gammy-father-child-abuse-convictions-investigation

The Guardian (2016), All surrogacy is exploitation – the world should follow Sweden’s ban:

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/feb/25/surrogacy-sweden-ban

The Guardian, (2005), One in 25 fathers is not biological parent – study:

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2005/aug/11/childrensservices.uknews

This episode dives into the intricacies of workplace relationships and asks the age-old question: Are your colleagues truly your friends? Tune in to explore the blurred lines between professional connections and personal bonds and how these relationships can impact both your career and personal life.

All that glitters isn't gold. Cassie and P Diddy once upon a time were hiphop royalty and a Hollywood power couple. They were photographed at fancy industry events in expensive jewellery and clothes and always surrounded by lavish luxury. Cassie seemed to be experiencing the princess treatment and we assumed there is nothing that P Diddy wouldn't give her. She was living every woman's fantasy.

That bubble was burst in mid-November 2023 when Cassie filed court documents against P Diddy alleging years of abuse and exploitation. This episode discusses the dark side of being a sugar baby and the tell-tale signs these kinds of relationship are typically always sinister and a prelude for abuse.

I'd love to get your feedback and hear your thoughts and comments at offlinethoughts.podcast@gmail.com.

Sexism is pervasive and infiltrates every aspect of our lives—from language and social norms to the structural infrastructure of our political and legal systems. The ugly truth is that all men are sexist - and that women are complicit in maintaining the sexist order in various ways.

Please send your thoughts to offlinethoughts.podcast@gmail.com.

SHOW NOTES

Articles:

Gender study finds 90% of people are biased against women, BBC: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-51751915

Human Rights by Council of Europe: https://human-rights-channel.coe.int/stop-sexism-en.html

Misogyny runs deep: how to stand up to sexist language By Clemmy Manzo, Womankind Worldwide: https://www.womankind.org.uk/misogyny-runs-deep-how-to-stand-up-to-sexist-language/

Unconscious bias: most women believe sexism still exists but most men disagree by Margie Warrell, The Guardian: https://www.theguardian.com/sustainable-business/2016/sep/02/unconscious-bias-most-women-believe-sexism-still-exists-but-most-men-disagree

You're sexist. And so am I. by Alia E. Dastagir, USA Today: https://eu.usatoday.com/story/news/2017/03/23/everyone-is-sexist-internalized-sexism/99528476/

Nationwide strike by Indian doctors over Kolkata medic’s rape, murder, Al Jazeera:

https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2024/8/17/nationwide-strike-by-indian-doctors-over-kolkata-medics-rape-murder

Indian women lead night protests after doctor's rape and murder, BBC:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/crmwj4z1xpko

Indian medics step up strike in protest at doctor’s rape and murder, The Guardian:

https://www.theguardian.com/world/article/2024/aug/16/indian-medics-strike-protest-doctor-rape-murder-kolkata

Books/papers:

Not That Bad: Dispatches from Rape Culture by Roxane Gay

The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir

Why Sexist Language Matters Sherryl Kleinman

People of colour that are born and raised in European countries face an identity crisis that arises from straddling two identities - they are doomed to neither ever be European enough or to fit in with their origin countries. Is this is a self-inflicted wound? What would it mean to relinquish the desperate desire to be absorbed into European culture and instead embrace our true identities?

Please send your thoughts and comments to offlinethoughts.podcast@gmail.com.

The saying goes that there's no such thing as a free lunch - if you are not paying, usually it is because you are the product. Every day we interact with platforms to read articles, share thoughts, upload our posts, make purchases, conduct research or otherwise just leisurely scroll. These platforms often have required billions of dollars of investment and many years of hard work by the brightest minds to be developed, yet we pay nothing to use them. If you have ever thought this is too good of a deal to be true - you are correct. "Free" apps and services exploit our personal data, often without us fully realising the consequences on our privacy, autonomy and decision-making.

Materials you might find helpful:

Thompson, S.A. & Warzel, C., 2019. How Your Phone Betrays Democracy. The New York Times, 21 December. Available at: https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2019/12/21/opinion/location-data-democracy-protests.html [Accessed 3 November 2024].

Wylie, C., 2020. Mindfuck: Inside Cambridge Analytica’s Plot to Break the World. Paperback ed. London: Profile Books:

BBC News, 2023. How WhatsApp became the 'app for everything' in Brazil. BBC News, 17 August. Available at: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c8j7nrppny2o [Accessed 3 November 2024].

It’s the nation’s most hidden little secret. In the era of sex positivity and destigmatisation of sex in general - is pornography the last taboo? Tune in to this week’s episode to delve into all things pornography.

Send any questions and comments to offlinethoughts.podcast@gmail.com and they will addressed in a future episode.

There's a conspiracy to make us fat - whether it is through predatory advertising, mass production of addictive junk food or through the intentional spread of misinformation - the food industry needs us to eat to excess. This episode is about how and why the keeps us overweight.

Heterosexuality as the standard, strict gender norms and negative LGBT societal messaging create in LGBT people feelings of shame, self-hatred and a deep desire to conform to the straight world - often at the expense of their own psychological well being. This episodes focuses on the symptoms of internalised homophobia and how to deal with it.

Send any questions and comments to offlinethoughts.podcast@gmail.com and they will addressed in a future episode.

Materials you might find helpful:

Williamson, I.R., 2000. Internalized homophobia and health issues affecting lesbians and gay men. Health Education Research, 15(1), pp.97-107. Available at: https://academic.oup.com/her/article/15/1/97/775710 [Accessed 9 Oct. 2024].

McGlotten, S., 2016. Can lesbians be misogynistic? The answer is yes — here’s why it happens. Bustle. Available at: https://www.bustle.com/articles/147623-can-lesbians-be-misogynistic-the-answer-is-yes-heres-why-it-happens [Accessed 9 Oct. 2024].

Stafford, A (2010). Uncompromising Positions: Reiterations of Misogyny Embedded in Lesbian and Feminist Communities' Framing of Lesbian Femme Identities. Core. Available at: https://core.ac.uk/download/322497442.pdf [Accessed 9 Oct. 2024].

Cooper, A., 2016. Get Your Internalized Misogyny Away from My Dildo Collection. The Link Newspaper, [online] Available at: https://thelinknewspaper.ca/article/get-your-internalized-misogyny-away-from-my-dildo-collection[Accessed 9 Oct. 2024].

Ryle, L., 2013. Butch Please: Butch with a Side of Misogyny. Autostraddle, [online] Available at: https://www.autostraddle.com/butch-please-butch-with-a-side-of-misogyny-174442/ [Accessed 11 Oct. 2024].

The Guardian. (2024) 'Why the Tavistock gender identity clinic was forced to shut – and what happens next', The Guardian, 31 March. Available at: https://www.theguardian.com/society/2024/mar/31/why-the-tavistock-gender-identity-clinic-was-forced-to-shut-and-what-happens-next (Accessed: 14 October 2024)

The formation of the European Union is an epic of good and evil, of conquest, of power, and of empire. Is it a coincidence that the richest 10 countries in the EU are nearly all former colonial powers? Is it a coincidence that the poorest countries globally were formerly colonised? No, these legacies are testaments to the resounding success of colonisation - and that (neo) colonisation has been preserved and continued by the EU.

Is there an agenda in Hollywood and the wider world to feminize and emasculate black men? Looking at the long roster of back male comedians and actors who have donned women's clothes and make up at some point in their careers (think: Tyler Perry, Martin Lawrence, Eddie Murphy, Dave Chapelle and others) it is easy to see why this belief has made it into black popular culture. But is it actually true?

We may not be able to control the big stuff like where we are born, who we are born to, how we look and a million other things. But there ARE things we do control. Whether that is being on time, doing what we said we were going to do or not betraying our beliefs - these things have an outsized effect on our self-identity, our self-esteem, our sense of agency and how we show up in the world.

The upside of growing up in unsafe environments as a child is that people often grow up to be discerning adults who have a highly attuned ability to read the hidden meanings behind what people say and do. Sometimes this is useful in simply being able to recognise red flags that indicate certain people don't wish us well. Other times this skill serves to keep us safe and to keep danger at bay.

There is a great myth that is sold to young people that tells them that university education will be their guarantee to wealth and financial independence. Millions of graduates out there can attest that is a lie - they are broke despite having undergraduate (and sometimes even postgraduate) qualifications. Does that mean university is overrated?

I'd love to hear your thoughts and comments - please email offlinethoughts.podcast@gmail.com to let me know what you thought of the episode.

Elon Musk is a professional exaggerator and liar. From lying about founding PayPal and Tesla (he didn't), to lying about the death of his son and divorce from his second wife. Looking at his family history we get a little insight into the man - his father had two children with the stepdaughter he raised since she was four years old. What really defines Elon Musk though, is his capacity to wield his enormous wealth to sway public opinion and influence the democratic process.

Materials you might find helpful:

The Guardian, 2024. Elon Musk expected to join Trump administration as an adviser, 9 November. Available at: https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2024/nov/09/elon-musk-trump-administration [Accessed 10 November 2024].

The Guardian, 2024. X (formerly Twitter) stock drops following Elon Musk's controversial statements, 2 January. Available at: https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2024/jan/02/x-twitter-stock-falls-elon-musk [Accessed 10 November 2024].

NBC News, 2024. A timeline of Trump’s shifting positions on abortion. Available at: https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/donald-trump/trumps-many-abortion-positions-timeline-rcna146601 [Accessed 10 November 2024].

Rolling Stone, 2023. The big list of Elon musk’s hyperbole, evasions, and outright lies. Available at: https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-lists/elon-musk-twitter-zuckerberg-lies-1234808808/ [Accessed 10 November 2024].

Financial Times, 2024. Musk, Thiel and the shadow of apartheid South Africa. Available at: https://www.ft.com/content/cfbfa1e8-d8f8-42b9-b74c-dae6cc6185a0 [Accessed 10 November 2024].

Truthout, 2024. Musk pledged $6 billion to solve world hunger, but gave it to his own foundation instead, Truthout. Available at: https://truthout.org/articles/musk-pledged-6b-to-solve-world-hunger-but-gave-it-to-his-own-foundation-instead/ [Accessed 10 November 2024].

Mamamia, 2023. Errol Musk started looking after his stepdaughter when she was four. Now they have two kids together. Available at: https://www.mamamia.com.au/errol-musk/ [Accessed 10 November 2024].

New Yorker, 2023. J.D. Vance and the Right’s call to have more babies, New Yorker. Available at: https://www.newyorker.com/news/daily-comment/j-d-vance-and-the-rights-call-to-have-more-babies [Accessed 10 November 2024].

Intersectionality politics tells us that coalitions united around a shared goal are not free of internal power dynamics. It also teaches us that victimhood is complicated - it is possible to be simultaneously both a victim and the oppressor in certain contexts. This episode takes a look at some of those complexities as well as the parallels between the transgender and transracial movements.

Please send your thoughts and comments at offlinethoughts.podcast@gmail.com.

The occult is experiencing a resurgence - as it always does following periods of social, political and economic instability. People, feeling out of control and desperate for an order to the chaos and hope for the future turn to astrology, fortune tellers, mediums and a whole host of other 'alternative' spiritual practices to fill the void. Whilst on the surface these may seem harmless - that is not the case. We pay a price for their salve.

Please send your thoughts to offlinethoughts.podcast@gmail.com.

SHOW NOTES:

Info on Barnum statements:

https://instruct.uwo.ca/psychology/023/pdfs/Barnum_bw6.pdf

Why Witchcraft Is on the Rise, The Atlantic by Bianca Bosker:

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2020/03/witchcraft-juliet-diaz/605518/

How TikTok Is Drawing Young People Into the Occult, Newsweek by By Pandora Dewan:

https://www.newsweek.com/newsweek-com-seance-social-media-tiktok-young-people-occult-witchcraft-1754927

Drawn to the occult: Spirituality is evolving, The Commonwealth Times:

https://commonwealthtimes.org/2018/10/10/drawn-to-the-occult-spirituality-is-evolving/

Generation Z Is Turning to the Occult for a Spiritual Path — Here’s Why, Church Leaders by Religion News Service:

https://churchleaders.com/news/395584-generation-z-is-turning-to-the-occult-for-a-spiritual-path.html

‘Revival of the occult’: French youth turn to tarot, astrology during Covid-19, France24 By:

Charlotte Wilkins:

https://www.france24.com/en/france/20210522-revival-of-the-occult-french-youth-turn-to-tarot-astrology-during-covid-19

Occult rises to mainstream in S. Korean media, The Chosun Daily by Baik Su-jin,Kim Seo-young:

https://www.chosun.com/english/kpop-culture-en/2024/07/18/RKHUAQBEVBGKTIPSX4BRHDANAI/

The soft girl/ soft life era is upon us. Its proponents tell us that grind culture, hustle culture and corporate climbing is an inherently masculine pursuit that leaves women burnt out and out of touch with their core feminine selves. The cure, they say, is to stop the pursuit of money and focus instead on achieving a state of inner peace that can only be attained by a dedication to self-care, relaxation and disengagement from anything and anyone that brings stress. These goals centre around having a male partner that is “masculine” enough to provide financially to afford the woman the option to not work. Tune into this week’s episode to discuss why this lifestyle can only be achieved by above-average earners and why it is therefore an inherently unrealistic pursuit that leaves women equally unsatisfied and vulnerable.

I'd love to get your feedback and hear your thoughts and comments at offlinethoughts.podcast@gmail.com.

Sex, power, and corruption are inextricably linked. Control over others becomes easier when their deepest secrets are at risk of exposure. P Diddy and Jeffrey Epstein are examples of men who used people's vices against them (often through extortion and blackmail), before finally becoming victims of these same vices. They are the tip of the iceberg. Sexual blackmail and extortion is deeply baked into the deepest recesses of government and power structures, and sex has always been leveraged by both victims and villains alike to gain control. The most enduring and powerful of these vices is sex - which moral leaders such as Martin Luther King and political leaders such as John F Kennedy equally fell prey to. There are important lessons to be learned about the nature of power, sex and our vices.

Jesus, the central figure of the Christian faith was over the course of centuries, white-washed from what he would have looked like - a Middle-Eastern, brown skinned, dark-haired and likely bearded man - to the white Jesus with light hair and light eyes that we know today. This transformation has not been by accident and its effects have not been without deep consequences on the psyche of all Christians and the material reality of people of colour.

Please send your thoughts to offlinethoughts.podcast@gmail.com

Episode notes:

Muhamad Ali - Why is Jesus white?, interview with Parkinson (1971): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7eXdt1eGgCA

The Religion of White Supremacy in the United States by Eric A. Weed

The Mis-Education of the Negro by Dr. Carter G. Woodson

Who people believe rules in heaven influences their beliefs about who rules on Earth, Stanford scholars find, Stanford Report, by Melissa De Witte: https://news.stanford.edu/stories/2020/01/consequences-perceiving-god-white-man

There are two realities. The first is that most of us work because we need money to live. The second reality is that no matter what they say - employers will always put profits over us, the people. Whether that means replacing workers with checkout tills, relocating production overseas to exploit workers in poor countries or pushing for zero hours contracts that give employees no guaranteed minimum income - employers show us time and time again how little we matter to them. Despite this - many of us seem to be suffering from Stockholm Syndrome where we treat our contractual relationships with our employers as though they are our family. That is why we are so emotionally invested in workplace politics and why we give away our time and resources for free. Tune in to this episode to listen to whether it's ever worth it.

Why do we celebrate Christmas? Has the commercialisation of Christmas meant we have lost sight of what makes it special - family time, bonding, togetherness - and made it another occasion for celebrating mindless consumption? Tune in to this week's episode to chat about all the best and worst bits about the Christmas season.

I'd love to get your feedback and hear your thoughts and comments at offlinethoughts.podcast@gmail.com.

The old adage is true - there is no such thing as a free lunch. In the case of social media platforms, they may be free at the point of use but that is only because it us who are the products for sale. These platforms harvest our data to study our behaviour and subsequently sell this data to advertisers who in turn target us with carefully curated ads based on our consumer profile. These advertisers then sell our data to other vendors. The consequences are that we never really know which are our own thoughts and which beliefs have been imposed upon us. Tune in to this week’s episode to discuss the perils of living life online.

I'd love to get your feedback and hear your thoughts and comments at offlinethoughts.podcast@gmail.com.

Princella the Queen Maker is a charismatic public commentator and content creator who has exploded onto the online scene. Her messages to some are revolutionary and liberating, To others they are shocking, insulting and leading women down a path of toxic femininity. Tune in to listen to why Princella the Queen Maker believes what she believes and whether women should follow her advice,

I'd love to get your feedback and hear your thoughts and comments! Send me an email at offlinethoughts.podcast@gmail.com.

Age gap relationships have existed since the dawn of time. There are many appeals for both parties - often the younger partner is looking for financial provision and protection, and the older partner is looking to hold onto their youth for a little longer. Whilst they're not necessarily always inherently predatory - they often are. Sometimes the younger partner only comes to realise this years later, long after the damage has been done.

Send any questions and comments to offlinethoughts.podcast@gmail.com and they will addressed in a future episode.

Materials you might find helpful:

Vouloumanos, V. (2023), Women Who "Dated" Older Men As Teens Are Sharing How They Realized They Were Actually Predators, And It's Heartbreaking', BuzzFeed, 21 September. Available at: https://www.buzzfeed.com/victoriavouloumanos/teen-girls-date-older-men-predatory (Accessed: 14 October 2024).

Shapiro, L. (2023), The Age Gappers', The Cut, 27 September. Available at: https://www.thecut.com/article/age-gap-relationships-couples.html (Accessed: 14 October 2024).

iNews. (2023) 'Older men dating younger women isn't automatically predatory', iNews, 10 October. Available at: https://inews.co.uk/opinion/older-men-dating-younger-women-isnt-automatically-predatory-3267630 (Accessed: 14 October 2024).

Sonya Massey thought there was an intruder in her home and did what any person would do - she called the police for help. Shortly thereafter, after a benign and positive interaction in which Sonya was polite, sweet, had told them 'I love y'all' and thanked them for their service - Sean Grayson, one of the attending police officers, had shot her in the face and killed her while she crouched fearfully uttering 'I'm sorry' multiple times.

Listeners' discretion is advised for this episode.

Please send me your your thoughts and comments at offlinethoughts.podcast@gmail.com.

Sometimes you have massaged the truth so much that you begin to lie even to yourself. You minimise the things that have happened to you and the things you have done. In some cases it is to protect yourself from confronting who you truly are and in others it is to preserve more pleasant illusions of your experiences and the people in your life. The problem is that you can't run from yourself forever.

Often the first thing we want to do is share our good news and accomplishments with the people around us. However, the response we receive is sometimes unexpected - we can be met with ambivalence or negativity where we anticipated praise and encouragement. Recognising that people - even our loved ones - can be limited by their own insecurities, envy and self-limiting beliefs teaches us that sometimes the best way to achieve our dreams is to not share them at all.

Following the horrific events on the 29th of July 2024 in Southport where a 17-year-old boy stabbed and killed three girls– a wave of unprecedented xenophobic violence against Muslim people and other people of colour took place. So far, 800 rioters have been arrested and 350 charged. Amid the chao two things are clear – (1) the spread of misinformation (including by figures like Elon Musk, Tommy Robinson and Nigel Farage) played a central role in inciting the violence and (2) the rioters used this incident to further their agenda.

Please send your thoughts to offlinethoughts.podcast@gmail.com.

Readings:

UK riots: five essential reads on what triggered a week of violence by Laura Hood

https://theconversation.com/uk-riots-five-essential-reads-on-what-triggered-a-week-of-violence-236536

The Take: How far will the UK riots go?, Al Jazeera:

https://www.aljazeera.com/podcasts/2024/8/7/the-take-how-far-will-the-uk-riots-go

Look back and see a British history of riots and racial progress. It isn’t pretty, but it is us by Robert Winder:

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/article/2024/aug/10/british-history-riots-racial-progress

Riots take British Asians back to 1970s and 1980s by Sima Kotecha

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/ckg2r3lxzedo

Britain is hoping its riots have peaked. But the far right is lingering, and more trouble could lie ahead by Rob Picheta

https://edition.cnn.com/2024/08/10/uk/uk-far-right-riots-tension-intl-gbr/index.html

UK riots: What happens now? Planned counter-protests mapped including Nigel Farage’s office by Albert Toth

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/uk-riots-planned-today-counter-protest-london-b2594351.html

Video doorbells, CCTV, facial recognition: how the police tracked UK rioters by James Tapper and Shanti Das:

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/article/2024/aug/10/video-doorbells-cctv-facial-recognition-even-masked-rioters-could-end-up-in-court

Tommy Robinson ‘could face jail’ over film screening at London protest by Christy Cooney https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/article/2024/jul/27/eight-arrested-at-far-right-tommy-robinson-protest-in-central-london

Few have been through as many public controversies as Kanye West. During the last ten years the public has had a front row seat to Kanye's erratic, impulsive, and emotionally unstable antics. Many of these have not only been deeply offensive to many people, but they have left in their wake a destruction of his personal and business relationships, an alienation of his fanbase, a loss of credibility and increasing isolation as many in his circle publicly distance themselves from him. What is often glossed over however, is that these antics are driven by Kanye's mental illness - namely bipolar disorder - and in this context it is clear the untold story is that of Kanye as a victim of his fame and wealth.

Send your thoughts and comments to offlinethoughts.podcast@gmail.com.

Materials you might find helpful:

Huberman Lab (2002), The Science & Treatment of Bipolar Disorder, Spotify. Available at: https://open.spotify.com/episode/7MX5KoUpR3Ulo2OGDc8gCE [Accessed 25 October 2024]

F.D. Signifier (2021), The Tragic Fall of Kanye West (Pt1), YouTube. Available at: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wvgehVhF9D4&pp=ygUYa2FueWUgd2VzdCByaXNlIGFuZCBmYWxs [Accessed 25 October 2024].

F.D. Signifier (2021), The Tragic Fall of Kanye West (Pt2), YouTube. Available at: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=e7e5BFJa-Ug [Accessed 25 October 2024].

Daniel Rodrigues (2018), 2005 - Kanye West Wins Grammy Best Rap Album: The College Dropout (Speech), YouTube. Available at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2-bjGkcaJI [Accessed 25 October 2024].

Petridis, A. (2022). Jeen-yuhs: A Kanye trilogy review – a heartwarming, sometimes heart-rending biopic. The Guardian. Available at: https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2022/feb/16/jeen-yuhs-a-kanye-trilogy-review-a-heartwarming-sometimes-heart-rending-biopic (Accessed: 25 October 2024).

Aggressive marketing has conditioned us to believe that gifts communicate the depth of one's affections. The age of social media also means people feel compelled to put on display their most private and intimate moments online for the benefit of the ever present public gaze. Our consumerism has further confused us to believe that the physical tokens we give and receive from our partners - whether they be flowers, jewellery, romantic dinners or other gifts - are substitutes for the patience, understanding and connection that really comprises love. In essence what capitalism has done is to render our relationships increasingly transactional.

I'd love to get your feedback and hear your thoughts and comments at offlinethoughts.podcast@gmail.com.

Marijuana is one of the only drugs that has the widespread perception of being harmless. After all, it is natural and unlike "real" drugs like heroin or cocaine - it is not addictive. Whilst it may not have the same physiological and biological impact as hard drugs - it does have real consequences to users. The biggest is that is distorts the perception of time and causes users to lose their grasp on objective reality. Over time it becomes clear that chronic users are at a standstill - watching life, their ambitions and their dreams pass them by.

Passport Bros and movements like them say that Western women have become overly entitled, that they have lost their traditional values and are no longer able to let men be protectors and providers in relationships. That's why they are flocking to non-Western countries in latin America, Asia and Africa on a quest to find the perfect woman - one who is submissive, deferential and knows how to cater to a man's needs. But is there more than meets the eye? This episode discusses the other side to that story. It is one of financial abuse, romantic and sexual exploitation, and of inferiority complexes. I'd love to get your feedback and hear your thoughts and comments at offlinethoughts.podcast@gmail.com.

Intersectionality politics is the acknowledgment that people are complex and that the different facets of who they are impacts their lived experiences in different and complex ways. Within movements and between individual marginalised groups there are shared experiences and goals that binds these groups but, equally, there are power dynamics that cause tensions within and between these marginalised groups. This episode looks at the resistance women have towards the "cisgender" or "cis" label and unpacks why trans people, particularly trans women, need for this label to be adopted in the mainstream.

I'd love to get your feedback and hear your thoughts and comments at offlinethoughts.podcast@gmail.com.

The TikTok ban will come into effect on the 19th of January 2025. Right now, it seems its fate is sealed – the House of Representatives has almost unanimously agreed to pass it under “national security” concerns, Congress has given it the rubber seal of approval, and President Biden has signed off under executive privilege. Despite public opinion being united in their opposition to the passing of the bill - the people will not have a say. TikTok is scrambling to find a legal avenue to challenge the decision, but the outlook doesn’t look good – it has already lost its appeal in the federal appeals court to pause the ban until the Supreme Court reviews TikTok’s case.

Is the app really Chinese owned? Does the Chinese government have the capacity to influence the platform? Is this ban part of the US’s cold war against China? Is Meta (Facebook) and other Silicon Valley Big Tech behind this ban? Will TikTok sell its US operations? This episode discusses all the above.

Please send your thoughts, opinions and questions offlinethoughts.podcast@gmail.com.

Online content is full of advice on how to meet "the one" and tips on navigating the early stages of relationships. There is less content on what it takes to keep the spark in a long term relationship going. Conventional wisdom tells us being friends with your partner is the most important component in sustaining a relationship. This episode discusses why that is not true and why it is more important to be lovers first, and friends second.

I'd love to get your feedback and hear your thoughts and comments at offlinethoughts.podcast@gmail.com.

Consuming a lot of media content about the USA means we all think we know what the USA and what Americans are like. And whilst many of our pre-conceived notions are positive, some are invariably negative. As an African woman who went to a very liberal university that was critical of US power relations - I was expecting the worst. What I discovered on my first trip to the USA was decidedly different and challenged my own biases.

I'd love to get your feedback and hear your thoughts and comments at offlinethoughts.podcast@gmail.com.

The online world offers a place for connecting with people from all over the world and for participating in online communities of like-minded people. This, in theory, should mean that we feel more connected than ever. But that is not the case. Loneliness amongst young people, in particular, is increasing and is partly driven by the displacement of offline real-life interactions by impersonal online ones. Tune in to this week’s episode to hear about how to avoid feeling disconnected and lonely.

I'd love to get your feedback and hear your thoughts and comments at offlinethoughts.podcast@gmail.com.

Imposter Syndrome is that nagging feeling that you don’t deserve your achievements—that you’re a fraud, only succeeding due to luck, charm, or being the "best of a bad bunch". For women, people of colour, and people from lower socio-economic backgrounds, this can be a natural consequence of working in hostile environments with deeply entrenched systemic biases. Either way, the net effect is feeling out of place, second-guessing yourself, and downplaying your contributions. This episode discusses how to overcome imposter syndrome.

Send any questions and comments to offlinethoughts.podcast@gmail.com and they will addressed in a future episode.

Materials you might find helpful:

Clance, Pauline & Imes, Suzanne, “The Imposter Phenomenon in High Achieving Women: Dynamics and Therapeutic Intervention”, https://www.paulineroseclance.com/pdf/ip_high_achieving_women.pdf

Tulshyan, Ruchika and Burey, Jodi-Ann, Stop Telling Women They Have Imposter Syndrome, Harvard Business Review:

https://hbr.org/2021/02/stop-telling-women-they-have-imposter-syndrome

Bravata, Dena M et al. “Prevalence, Predictors, and Treatment of Impostor Syndrome: a Systematic Review, Journal of general medicine, vol. 35,4 (2020): https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7174434/

Martins, Julia “Unmasking impostor syndrome: 15 ways to overcome it at work”, Asana: https://asana.com/resources/impostor-syndrome

Jamison, Leslie “Why Everyone Feels Like They’re Faking It”, The New Yorker:

https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2023/02/13/the-dubious-rise-of-impostor-syndrome

Nance-Nash, Sheryl, “Why imposter syndrome hits women and women of colour harder”:

https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20200724-why-imposter-syndrome-hits-women-and-women-of-colour-harder

The myth persists that the way to get the love or friendship you desire is by pouring into the person you care about - whether that be energy, emotions or financial resources. Nothing could be further from the truth - it is the giver that becomes entangled in the relationship the more they give, making it near impossible for them to walk away as they fall prey to sunk cost fallacy. Meanwhile, because of the law of diminishing returns, the recipient appreciates the giver less with each act of care and kindness that is given. The only way out for the over-giver in this dynamic is to find a way to reverse the roles.

Please send your thoughts to offlinethoughts.podcast@gmail.com and they will be addressed in a future episode.

Some materials you might find helpful:

Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood

Generous Person, or Over-Giver? Always Gift-Giving? by Andrea M. Darcy, Harley Therapy: https://www.harleytherapy.co.uk/counselling/generous-person-or-over-giver.htm#:~:text=Over%2Dgiving%20tends%20to%20come,or%20with%20the%20other%20person.

The Wound That Causes You To Over Give by Amy Chan, Heart Hackers Club:

https://hearthackersclub.com/the-wound-that-causes-you-to-over-give/