Not Your Therapist (Daliya Karnofsky)

Staying in can be FUN, and GREAT for your dating life! I mean it; so do it. Whether you go on FaceTime dates (Love Is Blind-style without the blind!), rediscover your love of watercolor painting, or find out you LIKE someone you recently started dating beyond just the sexual, take this time for YOU and for both your relationships with other people and with yourself. MEANwhile I talked to Cameron the self-proclaimed introvert (who must be LIVING right now) about how to be more social, get out there, take risks, step out of his comfort zone, and STOP self-sabotaging through a shield of perfectionism. This will all be very useful when we can interact in person again, but it also applies NOW! Take a risk, put yourself out there, and get to know someone for real before meeting them for real. Listen up!

Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram and send us your questions!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Who knew that wedding planners have the true T when it comes to what works and what doesn’t in dating and relationships?? I did! And now you will too. I ask Jason what it takes to call off a wedding, how to make sure you get the make out when you attend a wedding, and how his career in weddings has affected his own dating life. Jason is wise, kind, and patient and it is AMAZING how much the right way to plan a wedding is also the right way to DATE! And bonus question of course: how do I make sure people make out at MY wedding!?! And from a listener, what do I do if I'm not getting enough physical affection in my relationship? Get into it. And listen up!

Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram and send us your questions!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

One word for Tim Drucker: aspirational. We are ALL lucky because he blessed us with his presence to answer some long-awaited listener Qs. We discuss single allyship, love spells (he cast one for you), how to get in touch with your intuition, punctuality, what not to ask on dates, why to stop telling yourself unproductive stories, and why I'm ok with Tim doing the exact opposite of everything I would recommend anyone else ever do. And maybe you should do it too! Maybe. Listen up!

@tdrucks is my amazing guest and you WANT to follow him. 

Send all Qs and coaching requests to notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com OR @notyourtherapistpodcast on IG. You can come on the show anonymously or not; I'd love to help!

Write us a sweet review and rate us! Thanks!!

The ladies from LJ Matchmaking, aka "The Love Agents of Hollywood", join me to talk about virtual matchmaking, their virtual blind date venture (it's a HIT with my clients), and the dos and don'ts of virtual dating and beyond. We go from how to get started to what to wear to how to enjoy it and what to definitely NOT do. We also get into their super fun personal love success stories, which are nothing short of inspiring (and hilarious) and will make you think twice about searching so hard for your "type". This one is SO CHOCK FULL of juicy tidbits. Listen up!

Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram and send us your questions!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Guests: @jesscallmejaydi and @lro_senberg

Listener question for the week: how can I be more comfortable telling my new-ish partner what I'm into sexually? Let's talk about it, as well as how to make this virtual dating thing a bit more creative and interesting, AND how to go easy on yourself and your partner because everyone handles this differently. Also, it's Passover this week so free yourself from whatever is keeping YOU enslaved, and celebrate what you're already free from that perhaps you weren't before. Let's celebrate whatever we can right now, and keep moving forward! Send me your Qs and if you're in a couple and would like to come on the show and talk about either quarantining or not together and what is or isn't working for you, reach out! I'd love to hear from you! Now listen up!

Book Recs from this episode: Come As You Are, Because it Feels Good

Pod Rec: The Savage Lovecast

Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram and send us your questions!

Stop self-sabotaging! What a great New Year's resolution. I tell you how and also when to let things go and when to get back out there. Kick the year off right with answers to your most pressing questions and we'll be back with a full coaching app next week!

Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Daliya gives her expert advice on everything from dating a vegan to what to do if your partner has a family member who is an absolute NIGHTMARE.  And our resident Single in the Field and Wellness Expert, Alex, joins the ep to talk blind date updates (set up by Daliya ofc), wellness and its role in a relationship, and potentially taking "the stuff that comes out of your boobs when you have a baby”?! Whatever makes you feel good! And ready to make out! We also talk Tik Tok dating and the dangers of documenting all your dates. Daliya is a therapist, but please remember that Alex is not a doctor. Enjoy!

Daliya recaps grownup Halloween and reminisces about Halloweens of yore. Did you make out? Our resident Single in the Field and Wellness Expert, Alex, joins the ep to talk dating updates, dating men who want a lot of kids- like, a lot, and the best way to eat chocolate. Listen Up! And send us your questions or a short bio if you're interested in being a guest! @notyourtherapistpodcast on IG and email notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com. You can find Alex at alexandrajospin.substack.com

We discussed lead in dark chocolate-- yikes! https://www.consumerreports.org/health/food-safety/lead-and-cadmium-in-dark-chocolate-a8480295550/

Daliya holds space for just how hard it is in the world right now, and what we can do to hold ourselves through it. It's ok if you're not in the mood to makeout!  And it's ok if you are! Daliya gives her expert advice on dating while traveling, FEELD, and why we've GOTTA stop categorizing people. Our resident Single in the Field and Wellness Expert, Alex, joins the ep to talk dating updates and get Daliya's advice on meeting people IRL. Listen Up! And send us your questions or a short bio if you're interested in being a guest! @notyourtherapistpodcast on IG and email notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com. You can find Alex at alexandrajospin.substack.com 

I'm back with health and wellness expert and dating guinea pig Alex Jospin! Since we're still in quarantine, we're gonna talk about dating in quarantine! And dating in general. And how to take care of yourself, of course, and how to be bold and brave stop waiting for some magical perfect day and make things HAPPEN now (hint: fill the right file first)!! Listen up!

Alex: ajholistic.com, @ajospin

Send all Qs and coaching requests to notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com OR @notyourtherapistpodcast on IG. You can come on the show anonymously or not; I'd love to help!

Write us a sweet review and rate us! Thanks!!

We’re back, baby! Post-pandemic, Daliya had a literal baby and became a real-life therapist, Alex, our Single Out in the Field, moved to New York… There have been changes! We’re diving right into putting the JOY back into dating and feeling like you’re on vacation mode rather than a job interview. Plus- Daliya set Alex up on a blind date, and there may or may not be a SPICY debate about Earth Balance vs. butter. It’s relevant, we promise. It’s so good to be back! We missed you guys!

Alex named this episode! She's going to be my Single Out in the Field, testing out my methods, my assignments, my techniques, and her new vagina. Learn how to FINALLY get closure on a tough breakup, when to push through someone not being your "type" and how soup can sometimes be sexual. We're also gonna talk more about bodies, sex stuff, intimacy, what's it's really truly like out there and how to make it better. Send us your questions, and listen up!

Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram and send us your questions!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Join me on @getvokl for live coaching!

Fill up on answers to your holiday-related listener questions in a quickie perfectly suited for right before your family dinner or better yet, as inspiration before you head out for NYE! (Get that makeout, give out that number!) Listen up! You got this!

 Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Why do couples who post a ton on social media usually end up not working out? Does Bumble ever really work for anyone? And HOW can we get more comfortable with all the weird body things that come along with actually being intimate with someone? Frances Tang and I discuss all of this and she is an EXPERT. The badass founder of Come and Gone, the after-sex cleanup sponge has a LOT to say about online dating and your sex life. Listen up!

 Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram and send us your questions!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Join me on @getvokl for live coaching!

With V-Day right around the corner, it’s the perfect time for some adventures just for the sake of adventure! It doesn’t HAVE to be a full one night stand, but there’s nothing like a wild date or saucy make out with someone you “know isn’t right” to breathe some life back into your dating routine. Take the holiday for yourself and embrace being single and chasing after stories to tell, like our guest, comedian Taylor Miller who has become a first date expert in the process. Put yourself out there, make some mistakes, and surprise yourself with both how fun and freeing it can be. You got this. Listen up!

Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram and send us your questions!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Join me on @getvokl for live coaching!

This was recorded in the dark winter months of COVID and I honestly don't remember a lot of what we talked about, as I've been knee deep in therapy school (I know, I know but I still won't be YOUR therapist. Probably.) BUT I know it was amazing and sexy and all about breakups and relationships and how to get one and how to get out of one and how to get a new one and how to enjoy the whole darn process of it all even when it seems like the COVID winter of your dating life will never end. Guess what! It will! Vaccines come in all forms, baby! Listen up!

Send all Qs and coaching requests to notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com OR @notyourtherapistpodcast on IG. You can come on the show anonymously or not; I'd love to help!

Write us a sweet review and rate us! Thanks!!

Billy is @billygriffinjr on IG and he is the BEST.

Hosts of the Best Exes Podcast Gabe and Colton join me to talk about their breakup, breakups and what we learn from them, HOW they managed to make something healthy and even valuable out of their breakup and how we move forward with dating after a particularly tough one. They are wise and witty and fun and their stories are GREAT, so get into it and listen up!

Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

John is a writer who loves telling his own story. He’s almost TOO self-aware, to the point that he may be using all of his self-knowledge to actually block himself from getting into an LTR. Funny how we get so comfortable with our flaws and “I’m not good at this” that we actually never let ourselves be. We work on letting go of his daddy issues, fixing his picker (and profile) and finding a man who will take John out for non-dairy ice cream. Listen up!

Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Send your questions to notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com

Sara is a freak like me: someone who LOVES dating and actually misses it now that she has a SO. A self-proclaimed “strong flavor” who got where she is in pretty much the opposite way that I did, we still manage to agree on dating technique and how to make dating not just fun but also extremely beneficial. Hint: Diversify your portfolio! Sara is one of those rare breeds who will set her friends up with someone she dated if they weren’t a match for her, speak up for exactly what she needs, and even occasionally let someone do something for her if they earn their way to it. We go over A LOT of tips, so listen up!

 Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Send your questions to notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com

I'm on vacation in Italy with my man eating pasta and pizza so here is a little tidbit to hold you over until I get back. :)

Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Send your questions to notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com

Thanks for listening! 

Alex and I are diving in post-my marriage and answering some long-awaited listener qs like: when is it ok to lie on dating profiles? How long is too long to hold on to the idea of someone? How the EFF do we keep dating right now?? Let's get into it. Listen up!

Guest: @ajospin, ajholistic.com

Send all Qs and coaching requests to notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com OR @notyourtherapistpodcast on IG. You can come on the show anonymously or not; I'd love to help!

Write us a lovely review and rate us! Thanks!!

Let's give up on pretending to be perfect already! EVERYone has baggage; what matters is what you do with that baggage. And everyone has major emotions now!! Embrace them! You'll laugh eventually yes, but it's important to first let yourself cry! So go easy on you and settle in while we discuss "Labor of Love", some listener qs, my sleeping habits, and of course, Alex's love life. Listen up!

Send all Qs and coaching requests to notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com OR @notyourtherapistpodcast on IG. You can come on the show anonymously or not; I'd love to help!

Write us a sweet review and rate us! Thanks!!

AND...what do with all this horniness in quarantine (yours and ours and theirs)!? Fan Favorite Billy Griffin Jr. is BACK to update us on an EPIC assignment I gave him when he was first on over a year ago. Hint: He wasn't allowed a boyfriend for a full year, wasn't allowed to even TRY for it and now...well, you'll have to tune in. Together we talk how to use communication to grow vulnerability and ultimately build a strong and healthy bond. We discuss our invention of creative pornography, when and how to give up drinking (and when and if to pick it up again), commitment, commitment-phobes, how to stay sane in quarantine and otherwise, tips for a budding relationship, and everything turning out just as it needs to be! Listen up!

Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram and send us your questions!

My partner is depressed and wants to take a break: do I stay or go? What are some fun creative things to do in quarantine for my partner? Do I keep in touch with someone who I have feelings for but who sometimes lets me down? And HOW to not get annoyed by every. little. thing my partner/SO/roommate/family member/self does while locked in the house with me? Answers to all these questions and more in my last quick episode before I take a four-week-long break: the first ever for Not Your Therapist! But sometimes, in all situations, a break is needed, and I encourage you to do the same! Take a break from your established routine and try something new! Give your brain some breathing space and you'll be amazed at what's possible when everything is fresh and new. Still, send me your questions; I love them and will be back in four weeks to answer them. Listen up and I'll see you soon!

Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram and send us your questions!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

The last listener question episode was so fun we decided to do another! Keep em coming! This time past guest Rachel Axelrod, full of wisdom and sass, is back to help with her no-nonsense advice. We answer everything from how much to reveal on a first date, to whether you should get back together, to how the EFF to meet the people you want to. It all begs the question, are you doing dating right?! Find out and make sure to stick around for a VERY fun surprise at the end. Listen up!

 Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Alex and I are kicking the year off right! We have so much to discuss because it's been a while! WHEN can we all mush our bodies together again, WHY to treat yourself like a pet, WHAT to do when partners have different lifestyles or religions, HOW to have better Zoom and outdoor dates. It's all here. Listen up!

Send all Qs and coaching requests to notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com OR @notyourtherapistpodcast on IG. You can come on the show anonymously or not; I'd love to help!

Write us a sweet review and rate us! Thanks!!

Sophie is DONE being a manic pixie dream girl! She’s a real woman with real needs and real ghosts from the past who keep popping up and need to make their intentions clear or go haunt someone else. The key to ALL of that is going to be flexibility, working to change habits disguised as instincts, and learning to be direct in all the right places, while sitting back in some others. It sounds like A LOT but it’s really pretty simple and starts with getting off the apps and onto the dates! Let’s do it!

 Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Send your questions to notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com

Creative coach Brian Patacca (@briansaysthat) is extremely hot AND extremely smart and funny and full of good advice. We talked about recovery from ghosting, having fun for REAL on dates, masculine and feminine energies, and how long to wait before giving up the “kitty” (which doesn’t mean what you think it does). Brian is an amazing golden god of human positivity. Listen up!

Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Send your questions to notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com

Thanks for listening! 

Elaine has never been broken up with and she’s not necessarily proud of that fact. It also doesn’t mean she hasn’t had her share of rejection, heartbreak, and disaster. She’s just really really good at ripping the bandaid off, which is one of the most valuable skills to have and has led her to report from the other side with a healthy relationship full of personal space, self-worth, strong pheromones, and separate bedrooms. Listen up!

 Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Send your questions to notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com

This one is so fun!!!! Writer Alex and I cover everything from falling in love with the story but not the person to when to break up, how to recover from that breakup, and how to embrace the adventures and the bad ideas and get the heck back out there. Also covered: vagina health, who pays, and how to handle the weird holiday dating season. Listen up!

 Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

First up: plenty of hot tips for our current situation and how to feel MORE connected and hopeful romantically - not less. And THEN. Goddess Angel Anderson is here to entrance, educate, and soothe us with her incredible story of marriage, infidelity, radical honesty, and polyamory. Angel currently has two boyfriends AND a comet. What's a comet, you ask? You must listen to find out! Angel is a downright SAGE and we can learn SO MUCH from her. Whether you think polyamory might be your thing or not (resources below), every word out of her mouth is liquid gold for living a happy fulfilling romantic and overall life. This woman is wise and hot AF and it SHOWS. I barely talk at all in this episode! That's how you KNOW it's good. So settle in, cuddle up, and listen up! And write us a review while you're at it! I know you got the time.

Resources: The Ethical Slut (book), Sex at Dawn (book), Polyamory Weekly (podcast)

Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram and send us your questions!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Let's talk about the New Year! And what we want to do differently or what we want to do exactly the same. We answer your q's with some celebratory a's. And if you didn't get the make out last night that's ok! New Year New You more MAKEOUTS!!!

Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Suzee is hot, cool, and has no problem getting people to fall in love with her. It's the staying in love that's the problem, even despite her best efforts to not get hurt again. So something has to change! Knowing exactly what you do in dating doesn't mean you'll stop doing it! There's more to it than that. We talk patterns and how to break them, dating in COVID, and holding yourself to treating yourself well, partially by letting go of the whole protecting yourself thing. It's time for a new chapter! Maybe even a new book. Listen up!

Send all Qs and coaching requests to notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com OR @notyourtherapistpodcast on IG. You can come on the show anonymously or not; I'd love to help!

Write us a sweet review and rate us! Thanks!!

Alex Jospin (health and wellness expert and my single out in the field, AND the brain behind this incredible episode title) joins me to talk about all things dating and COVID, as well as her personal recs for staying healthy and sane (ish). You can do nothing if you're feeling burnt out, you can have chat sex if you're feeling bold, you can do anything you want because we're all feeling everything! Be bold! Because for the foreseeable future you have nothing to lose but everything to gain by getting a little crazy and "meeting" someone new! Listen up!

Book Rec from this episode: Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb

Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram and send us your questions!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Health and wellness coach and Single Out in the Field Alex Jospin is BACK this week to talk Love Is Blind (what can we learn from this apparent disaster), our dating book club pick "Come As You Are" (what can we learn from this MIRACLE of a sex help book), AND her dating life! From sex and vulvas to why Jessica needed to GET OVER HERSELF, we cover it ALL! Listen up!

Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram and send us your questions!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Robbie wants a relationship but always drops the ball. We  have it from the horse’s mouth, sometimes it really is them!!! Them being scared, passive, socially awkward, or simply not knowing how or if to keep things going. So throw a bone,  hand them back the ball, and assume the best. Everyone gets one more chance. Well, most people, if they’re as nice as Robbie. Listen up!

Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Send your questions to notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com

Thanks for listening! 

What do you do if you suspect cheating? And want a private sesh with me for free? Of course you do!! Subscribe to and hop on my GetVokl channel tonight at 7 PM to ask me your questions in real-time and win a free coaching! I’ll see you there….

 Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Ronnie owns that he USED to be a passive-aggressive f*ckboy but he’s worked on it and is a f*ckboy  no longer!! But it hasn’t been all sunshine and roses right away, with his first post-f*ckboy relationship turning out to be pretty toxic. We discuss focusing on moving forward to find him a partner who challenges him and respects both him and his relationship with his daughter. It’s all about one step at a time, holding your lovers to the same standards you hold your friends, and challenging EVERYTHING you usually do when it comes to dating. WIth patience and kindness for yourself, of course. Listen up!

 Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Send your questions to notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com

Dating Coach and Matchmaker Daliya Karnofsky kicks it off strong with what she thinks of all those dating memes, how guest "Neal" can find the light (and fun?!?!) when he's going through a divorce, and the importance of that ancient ritual...flirting. Listen up.

Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Send your questions to notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com

Thanks for listening! 

Michael is a soon to be ex-yogi who is shocked to finally find himself in a happy healthy relationship. What’s there to learn from that, you say? Don’t worry, there’s plenty, for both the single and the coupled alike. Learn how not to freak out when things are good, how to enjoy yourself one day at a time, and how to only pick fights when it’s truly worth it. Hint: A snack and a nap do wonders for all of it. This isn’t just good dating advice, it’s pretty impeccable life advice. Listen up.

Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Send your questions to notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com

Thanks for listening! 

Transgender standup comic Jeena Bloom was kind enough to join us and talk about her brand new LA dating adventures. We talk hookups, the importance of aftercare, which apps are for what, and how to ask the right questions. Bonus: the alternative to finding red flags. 

And don’t forget to go to All My Single Friends this week! The v best way to meet people IRL. Listen up for details or, you know, google it.

Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Send your questions to notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com

Thanks for listening! 

Gilly is an openminded, if a bit shy, woman in Minnesota who took some time away from dating and is now READY to get back in it….BUT she’s a little too nice about it. (Minnesota, anyone). Listen and learn about making everything less precious, owning your awesomeness, picking up people like a boss, and adopting some assh*le swagger to get to the part where you can be super nice again. Also, the importance of positive reinforcement. Listen up!

Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Send your questions to notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com

Thanks for listening! 

Ryan’s a sweetheart, if a little misguided in his search for his “partner in crime” (we’d like to abolish that phrase). First, he needs to listen. Second, he needs to stop feeling bad about his totally normal job situation and know that one of the great benefits of having a partner is they support you in your journey to becoming the person you want to be. You don’t have to already be perfect to deserve someone who thinks you are. Also, LOTS of profile assessment and hot app tips. Listen up.

Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Send your questions to notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com

Thanks for listening! 

My personal guru and non-therapist, Rachel Axelrod, lets us in on the ultimate meet-cute, how to love yourself and all your perfect imperfections, and how to prioritize your very REAL orgasm. We want you to be you and love every weird, quirky, embarrassing details that comes (cums) with it. And bonus: what do when someone likes you who is “not in your league” (hint- wtf is a league. Be happy they like you.) Listen up!

Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Send your questions to notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com

Thanks for listening! 

Amazing and hilarious comedian Jenny Zigrino wants a partner but doesn’t necessarily want to go through the process of getting one. We talk about fatphobia, dating app facial fatigue, and all of the other hurdles that you can willingly jump over when you’re ready for both the good and the bad that comes with the dating journey. No one can make it happen or decide you deserve it but you. Listen up.

Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Send your questions to notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com

Thanks for listening! 

Kacie gave up men for Lent and wrote a book about it! And talked about it with us. How long it took her to figure out what she REALLY wanted, the many ups and downs of her journey, and what the heck you do when you’re not obsessively trying to date everyone. Bonus: how to make social media take you OUT of your head rather than in. Listen up!

Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Send your questions to notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com

Thanks for listening! 

Dating Coach and Matchmaker Daliya Karnofsky wants you to give out your number, let new people in, and remember that, as she tells this week's guest model and comedian Margaux Leigh Hamiltion, anyone who doesn't want you is simply. Scared. And you deserve better. Listen up.

Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Send your questions to notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com

Thanks for listening! 

Jaimie needs to do it a little bit wrong. Pretend you forgot what’s “right” or “wrong” to do in dating (including how to ask someone out, what "appropriate" age differences are, etc.). Say what you’re thinking, ask someone out at Starbucks who is totally unsuspecting, and date who you want. Strip your “knowledge” away because sometimes it’s only keeping you from a really really good time. You’ll thank me later.

Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Send your questions to notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com

Thanks for listening! 

We talk with financial coach Dylan Snowden about money and dating, money and love, money and relationships, money and money. It’s not always an easy conversation but it’s as necessary as talking about sex, whether you’re working on being in a couple or simply working on yourself. There’s no denying the importance of money in the love/relationship world, and you don’t have to be rich to comfortable talking about it. Dylan helps us get started. Bonus: Online dating tips to help you stop being judged (or stop judging) on the basis of money! Listen up.

Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Send your questions to notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com

Thanks for listening! 

Writer and storyteller Sian Mason is newly sober and navigating dating without substances. We dig into how to enjoy it, how to make out without it just being a bunch of saliva, and how to accept when someone nice likes you for you, which can be the hardest task of all. Don’t hide your “flaws”, celebrate them and share them from day one and you’ll be doing your date a giant favor. Someone has to take the leap into showing their true human colors. Might as well be you. Listen up!

Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Send your questions to notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com

Thanks for listening! 

We talked to a personal trainer about fitness and dating! Turns out working out and making out are very closely related, and not for the reason you think. Get tips on how to build your confidence when dating, make it a regular lifestyle choice, and motivate to get off the couch and do it. Also, diversify your interests and meet someone who brings something new and different to the table rather than the same old same old. Get up, get out there, and get smooching (and squatting if you're into that). Listen up! 

Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Send your questions to notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com

Thanks for listening! 

Our anonymous guest got involved with someone at work and from there it got messy. Not so much due to circumstances but because of his not great behavior and her not great putting up with it. We’ve all been there. And the first steps to recovery are forgiving yourself, accepting your lessons as a rite of passage, and doing your best to go cold turkey. On top of that, get angry! Anger is active and can be very useful to the healing process. Know you're amazing; now you have to find someone who knows that as well as you do. Listen up. 

Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Send your questions to notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com

Thanks for listening! 

It’s not you it’s them. Learn why & what to do about it. And the answer to the question: what do I do if there’s no spark on the first date? Listen up.

Learn how to get back out there after an ego-crushing relationship with comedian Kyle June Williams (who is currently on tour with her BFF Jonathan Van Ness). Learn how to do it with a sense of humor and a strategy, along with specific how-tos for online dating for all. Online dating does NOT have to suck. It can actually be fun. Listen up.

Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Send your questions to notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com

Spoiler: you’re not. Or if you are, it shouldn’t be coming up on first dates if you actually want the deep connection you’re looking for. We talk heart stomping, coming out, and finding the yin to your yang with the beautiful lengthy Tyler. With bonus question: how do I get him to do what I want on the second date!?! Listen up.

To sex or not to sex? To app or not to app? What about Seeking Arrangement? We work it all out with hilarious adorable Kayla who doesn’t have any dating experience but wants to learn and GET SOME. Also, paid apps? Worth it or no? Listen up.

Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Send your questions to notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com

Thanks for listening! 

If you find yourself going for “unavailable” people, or fighting to win when you’re surrounded by red flags, what is it you’re really hoping to get? Actor/Writer Alex Henrikson opens up about doing too much, fighting too hard, and the struggle to make herself wait to be fought FOR. Bonus Question: how long is too long between dates?

Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Send your questions to notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com

Thanks for listening! 

Adrian’s girlfriend cheated on her. Adrian still wanted to try. Which part is her responsibility and which part isn’t? How much trying is too much trying? When do you walk away? We’re in the thick of it. Bonus: what to wear or not wear on first dates.

Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Send your questions to notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com

Thanks for listening! 

Comedian Audrey Stewart is lunging at women out in the world (consensually) and LOVING IT!!! Sometimes. Other times she's beating herself up and doubting herself and questioning dating as a whole, just as everyone does, straight, gay, queer, and all of it. Lesson is: the journey to becoming you isn't easy and neither is the journey to finding someone to love you for you, but it's worth it. And it WILL get easier if you stick with it and keep pushing against that cocoon til you're free. Listener Q: the date was amazing but then she asked for space. Do I give it? How much? And whyeeeee!?! Listen up!

Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram and send us your questions!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Robbie is BACK to discuss his no-longer-new or relationship and where it might (or might not) be going. How much time is too much to spend together? Does financial compatibility matter? How do we navigate major family and idealistic differences? We get INto it and no topic is off-limits. Listen up!

Send all Qs and coaching requests to notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com OR @notyourtherapistpodcast on IG. You can come on the show anonymously or not; I'd love to help!

Write us a sweet review and rate us! Thanks!!

What do you do when everything is "perfect" in a relationship except a fewwww key things? And if you were all of a sudden told you were terminal, what would you do? Go have a sexual revolution? That's what my guest Nikki Boyer's best friend Molly did, and they were generous enough to make a podcast about it! Nikki and I talk about what it was like for her to vicariously go on this journey and what she learned about sex and dating and herself in the process. Nikki is also making it work as a stepmom of two girls and we get into ALL that, since if you're out there dating you might just become a step-parent yourself. This is a juicy one with candid talk about how to navigate love, marriage, illness, sex, and blended families. Whew! Settle in and listen up!

Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram and send us your questions!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

It's health and wellness week with coach Alex Jospin and we get INto it as the quarantine beat goes on...but we don't just talk about that! Hear our hot take on "Too Hot to Handle", the great things about our current situation, and Alex even tells me what's wrong with ME! We also have more tips for virtual dating and great ideas for fighting and/or embracing the boredom. Listen up!

Guest: @ajospin, Alex Jospin

Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram and send us your questions!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Gabi Conti is a sex columnist and author of the upcoming book “20 Guys You Date in Your 20s”. We talk about how all this research has made her the ideal dater (and what she still has to learn), conducting social experiments for the sake of your love life, and why NOT to follow each other on Instagram. Bonus: what age “should” you be dating?

Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Send your questions to notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com

Thanks for listening! 

Freshly ghosted (and gorgeous) comedian and writer Leah Knauer opens up about why she hates dating, and we try to figure out how to make it more bearable. Discover the importance of eliminating the word relationship, allowing yourself a juicy sad, not taking ghosting so personally (but please everyone GROW UP AND STOP DOING IT) and finding a way to get back out there and have fun with it once again. Or maybe for the first time. Listen up.

Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Send your questions to notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com

Thanks for listening! 

Fellow redhead Steph is a “sensual spicy sweet woman looking for a man who wants to devour her.” (my words, quoted directly) Shas been out of the game for some time, with good reason. But no one who creates horny boards, loves chicken tenders, does karaoke, and wants to share a cheese plate should be kept from the world for too long! She wants to leave her trauma behind (having worked on it in real therapy, of course) and get some power and some fun back, which is NOT too much to ask. Let’s do it.

 Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Send your questions to notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com

Emily is baby-bird-new to LA and I am SHOVING her out of the nest and making her my personal soldier for dating positivity. It’s time for adventures, learning to eat sushi on a date, and figuring out where she stands on one night stands. The one thing she is FORBIDDEN to do is become jaded and start commiserating about dating in LA. Stay wide-eyed! Stay green! Make mistakes and explore!! And for anyone who MISSES when they felt that way, it’s never too late to wipe the slate clean and revert wholeheartedly! Now get out there!!

 Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Send your questions to notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com

“Leslie Knope” is an ‘amazing friend and coworker but kind of a nutjob when it comes to herself’ (her words; anyone relate?) She’s juggling moving across the country, looking for a job, living with her parents, body image issues, and bisexuality. She also doesn’t LOVE not being totally in control of the situation. Whew! Let’s see where we can fit romance (and maybe even a good time?!?!) into all of this. Listen up!

Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Send your questions to notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com

Thanks for listening!

Highly recommend this rant for any time you feel like you can't keep doing it. Apply the same hustle and rigor and positivity and discipline to dating that you do to everything else in your life that you want. Get out there, attack on all fronts, stick with it, let rejection be fuel rather than destruction. If you think your heart can't take it, it CAN. It just needs to get stronger, and that happens from exercise. Stick with it. Listen up!

Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Send your questions to notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com

Thanks for listening! 

Steve is a straight white man. I know! I can’t believe we’re sitting down with him either! But it does happen from time to time, and can be an interesting perspective. Especially when that SWM seeks out everything BUT the safe and simple. Is there a way to enjoy the adventure but still find real connection? And what is solo poly? Let’s discuss. Bonus: short guys- how to deal.

Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Send your questions to notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com

Thanks for listening! 

Jen is READY for a relationship but that doesn’t mean she should be rushing into one. Let’s get away from benchmarks and promises and move toward finding someone who is actually right, even if it takes a little longer. Jen hosts “It’s Complicated” podcast, and it certainly has been, but it doesn’t HAVE to be. We talk about her habits, how to break them, and how to actually start to enjoy this again. Also how to make her profile WAY less basic and WAY more effective and specific. Listen up!

 Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Send your questions to notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com

Nekia is OVER being the FRIEND. She is ready for more!!! We talk about dealing with chronic illness while dating and coming clean with some scary subjects while not letting those things keep you from sharing your wonderful self with the world. Also, the ever present question of how to get responses on the apps, how to work on smooching, and how to unburden yourself and get out there and enjoy it. Listen up!

 Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Your listener questions answered! By real raw life coach Allie Stark and me. Everything from how to combat loneliness to how to balance work and lovvvvve. Because we are thankful for YOU! Listen up!

Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

"Layla" has always been the backup girl: the one who gets the guy ready for his future gf but is never the gf. We talk about why and how we do this, what love is and what it isn’t, and how, to not fall back into old patterns and sabotage yourself. Fun fact: the guy “Layla” is currently seeing is not her physical type in some very key ways, but that shouldn't matter, right? Let's talk about it.

Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Send your questions to notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com

Thanks for listening! 

Remember big weddings???? This episode was originally posted April 2019, when those used to happen and be a BIG FREAKIN DEAL. This episode was also a crowd favorite and we all learned a LOT from Alisa and all her incredible honesty. Enjoy!

Alisa is set to get married in eight weeks. Problem is, she and her wife are not getting along. But with all that time and money and planning invested, should they call it off just because of some disagreements? Or power through and figure it out later? Listen up.

Send all Qs and coaching requests to notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com OR @notyourtherapistpodcast on IG. You can come on the show anonymously or not; I'd love to help!

Write us a sweet review and rate us! Thanks!!

Anonymous guest “Ellie” has had some rough dating experiences, causing her to use her career to shield herself from romance. Her MO is to self-shame and self-blame: Enough is ENOUGH and we’re over it! We talk about doing things that build up your confidence, and how that will lead you to meet your person. Holding out on sex isn’t for them, it’s for YOU. Wait til you LIKE a person before you let them do something with your body or your confidence. Time for Ellie to treat herself the way she wants to be treated. And you, too. Listen up!

 Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Send your questions to notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com

Robbie is in his first few months of a new relationship and sh*t is getting REAL. He has to learn how to navigate alone time, the L word, meeting the parents, and ALLLLL those conversations about FEELINGS. While this is a blissful, exciting time it can also be a bit intense and stressful. And it’s important to take the time to set a solid foundation to have a sturdy house moving forward. So let’s talk about it! No time for being perfect; let’s get. In. There. Listen up!

 Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Send your questions to notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com

Josiah is a tough nut to crack but we got there! He hasn’t really been in love, hasn’t REALLY been in an LTR he was into, and thinks there is something wrong with him. There isn’t! But he needs to be honest about who he is, where he is, and what he wants from the BEGINNING.  He also needs to stop locking himself into what he has already decided is his pattern and his problem. Nowhere does it say you have to do things a certain way or want what everyone else does. Be upfront and you’ll get much farther on your way to finding who and what is right for YOU. Listen up!

 Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Send your questions to notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com

Forget what you THINK other people want you to be and instead, be silly, dorky, messy you. My guest Jeremy is too nice and is trying too hard to be perfect! And it's really getting in the way of good smooch sessions. We do a MAJOR profile overhaul and start digging to rediscover that so not perfect but so much more appealing swagger that we know is hidden deep within. We also talk about dating with a dog and how to make it work FOR you instead of against. Listen up!

 Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram!

@notyourtherapistpodcast

Send your questions to notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com