Nicheties (Maya & Angela)

It's episode 40 y'all!!! Did you know that most podcasts quit producing episodes before they reach episode 10? Well not Nicheties! Maya and Angela are never going to quit. In 2054 you'll be dusting off your old iPhone, log into Instagram and BOOM! You see that Nicheties is still posting stories with Spotify links.

Maya and Angela are inviting you to come celebrate this momentous occasion with them by spending 40 seconds with Jesse Eisenberg (also know as Blu from Rio), and head butting Michelle Obama. Seriously, this is a celebration so plug your wireless headphones in and let's get going!!!

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Make sure to follow, download, rate, and review this podcast wherever you are listening! <3

Not yet had your weekly fill of Socratic conversations? Never fear! Nicheties is here!

Maya and Angela ponder many big topics this week like, what actually counts as work place sexual harassment? Why don't we talk more about the fact that God was an absent father? Where frick are all the batteries? And last, but certainly not least, why don't high schoolers get recess? So, put on your fanciest outfit, take your bluetooth speaker to the fanciest room in your house and pretend that you're hosting an old timey salon, because otherwise it'll look weird when you end up talking back to your podcast.

Make sure to follow, download, rate, and review this podcast wherever you are listening.

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Lace where? Lace there! 

This week absent minded icons Maya and Angela are back and better than ever, and ready to give you segments. But first they must tell you about the famous gymnast that got engaged on the set of Gilmore Girls, biracial hashtags, and how Maya got blocked by a famous comediennes wig stylist. 

If these sound like topics you'd like to get in to with us go ahead and press play. If not, take a hike!!

Hey Nicheties listeners! Maya and Angela need help and usually they're too proud to ask for it, but in this rare moment of vulnerability they are asking you to rate this podcast wherever you are listening. Seriously, some doofus gave them a low rating on Spotify and that's apparently like really hard to come back from. 

Happy Valentine's Day! Thanks to the 2010 hit movie Valentine's Day you can celebrate the holiday no matter the time of year. This week Angela comes to recording with plans to analyze Valentine's Day the movie, but in true Gemini fashion refuses to do so. Maya on the other hand is all in. Listen in as they discuss soldier Julia Roberts, sex worker Anne Hathaway, and potential terrorist Ashton K*tcher. 

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Accidentally continuing on the topic of childhood toys, Maya and Angela talk about American Girl Dolls in this episode. And weeble wobbles, and beanie babies, and cabbage patch dolls...just lots of kids toys. Maya has to quickly work through her rich guilt to tackle the issue behind the doll, classism (and maybe white savior -ism?). Angela admits to the fear of having a blaccent (spoiler: they don't have a blaccent) just in time for Maya to avoid doing a blaccent while reading an excerpt from Meet Addy (the first Black American Girl doll). 

This episode is only slightly cursed. Maya deleted an entire episode only to take a full month to edit this rerecording but I swear it's worth it. Both Maya and Angela were "gross" (allergy bedridden) in this episode but I promise I edited out all the sniffles, snuffles, and Monet XChange level snot sucking sounds. 

Try and follow along as Angela recounts one of their endlessly wild dreams (all 3 acts!) in great detail. This dream had Kardashians, the scenic Mississippi River, and Pam Anderson's weave(?)! Through that dream, Angela bared their soul to y'all but Maya insists (shocker) that they share more.

Get to know Maya and Angela a little bit more in this game style Q&A session where they play fuck, marry, kill, I only blank when I blank, and compliment corner. Okay, compliment corner isn't really a game but Maya seeks validation of her sense of self in any form she can get, even if that means embracing being a woman about her business SMDH.

Long awaited, much anticipated, Maya and Angela touch on so many random things (rock n' roll, Bobby Flay, Etsy sex toys) while somehow predicting the future? Maya talks about her relationship with singer, rapper, and flutist, Lizzo, after watching her new show Lizzo's Big Grrls. She concludes that Lizzo is about as good as she can get for a public figure but has two strikes against her (being a "good fat" and making the god forsaken brand Yitty). Little did they know that an impending third strike was hurtling towards home plate as they spoke.

There's lots of Lesbianism in this episode, at least more than usual. As Maya talks about the movie Saving Face (2004) and its casual racism in a seemingly idyllic Chinese-American Lesbian utopia (Flushing, Queens), Angela recounts watching a She-ro chef documentary and was genuinely all over the damn place. All this is followed up with a rousing and extremely Queer game of fuck, marry, kill that features celebs including Karla Souza, Ever Maynard, Gara Loning, Renee Elise Goldsberry, Sara Bareillis, and Busy Phillips.

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 Have you ever been swiping through Tinder, Bumble, or Hinge and thought, "Why are there only three options for gender identity?" or "There is not enough opportunity to borderline fetishize trans people on here!" Boy does Nicheties have an announcement for you! Maya is back on dating apps and she's found the most niche one, Taimi. Taimi doesn't judge, they see you in all your gynosexual glory! Still not sold? Tune in for more details.

You can also press play to find out how Maya got hate crimed in a hair salon, if you're into that sort of thing. 

If you're wondering where Angela is this week, they're here. They just aren't on apps, and have yet to be hate crimed. 

Make sure to follow, download, rate, and review this podcast wherever you are listening! 

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Hey, hey, hey. You all have been spoiled with amazing audio quality for too long. This week Nicheties is getting back to their roots, and giving you mediocre sound quality at best. But never fear, because as always hosts Maya & Angela provide you with top tier commentary. 

This week Nicheties tells Michelle Obama to suck it, provides you with the qualifiers for claiming bad nail beds, and as always calls for stricter child labor laws. 

Make sure to follow, download, rate, and review this podcast wherever you are listening! 

Find Nicheties on Tiktok and Instagram @NichetiesPod  

Gender isn't real, so why can't Maya let go of hers? This week Angela identifies as a witch that crashed into a tree and Miss Maya identifies as a big round woman that just wants to give you a hug.  

This episode was blessed by the gender neutral ghost of Maya Angelou. 

We made it to episode 10!!!!! To celebrate their 10th episode Maya and Angela discuss the thing they hate the most; weddings! 

Things start out tame as Maya reads Angela some podcast statistics, but stick around because things will heat up and the hosts return to their original format. First, Maya takes us on a trip around the globe and teaches us about different wedding traditions and then Angela takes over to give us the rundown on what it takes to be a part of a couples big day. 

The conclusion? We can't keep letting married people get away with this!!

Listen, we didn't judge you that one time you didn't answer that FaceTime call from your best friend and said you were busy, even though you were just laying in bed eating Fritos. Or that time that you pretended not to see your coworker fall and drop all of their belongings because you just didn't feel like helping. So this week we ask that you not judge us in our time of transition.

In this week's mini episode Maya and Angela play a riveting game of Would You Rather. Digressions include Jay-Z's faux locs, Maya's white girl tendencies, and accordions. 

Happy New Year Shiddies!!! Maya and Angela are here, queer, and ready to complain about celebrity deaths. 

Do vision boards work? What is the difference between a vision board and an amazon wishlist? Is Oprah responsible for the Obama administration? Would Angela and Maya really benefit from having iPads? Is being woke a hobby? Will the questions ever end? Press play on Nicheties first episode of 2022 and find out!!

When you picture an (informal) spiritualist - who do you see? It's not Maya is it?! Okay if it is she doesn't want to know actually lmao. Maya divulges that she might actually be a sweetheart rather than the Ms. Trunchbull character she's been made out to be. Spirituality and horny Radical Leftist poetry come together to make this one hell of a cursed episode. 

Maya and Angela discuss nepotism or "nepo babies," and define networking. Did you know if you're a local you're probably also networking? Well, you are! And you don't even have to wear pantyhose or feel icky while doing it. Join Nicheties hosts as they realize that networking is actually not the villain and Angela flexes their knowledge of Kardashian baby daddy marketing ploys. Simultaneously, we get aggro Angela doing what we love to hear them do, denounce celebrity worship. That's called duality folks.  

Unhinged Quote of Episode 37

“We don’t get hard-ons for the middle class and I would argue that is who we should be getting hard for” - check out Nicheties' Insta to double check who tf said that

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Hey y'all! You may not know this, but Nicheties the podcast only exists because hosts Maya and Angela moved to the same Iowa town at the same Iowa time and subsequently spent countless hours sitting criss cross applesauce on the floor in front of a floor length mirror doing their makeup together and building the foundation *wink* of their friendship. 

This week's F*ck, M*rry, K*ll, But Not involves c*ckolding, ca$hpigging, and Angela's boss. Minor inconveniences include but are not limited to; being exposed to the 12 Commandments, Kim Reynolds' ugly vests, and picking things up off of the floor. Travel back in time with Maya and Angela as they reminisce on the days of chunky mascara, contour without blush, and those weird paddle face brushes that no one every actually used. And if all of the aforementioned topics failed to properly intrigue you and you're still feeling iffy about pressing play, just know that somewhere along the way we explore the possible reasons why our buttholes are not on our backs and exposed to the elements.

Find us @Nichetiespod on Instagram & Tiktok and never stop exploring niche topics! 

Welcome to 2023 Shiddies! 

Maya has been pondering Angela's race and it turns out so has Angela. This week Maya will finally get the answer to the question, "Angela, are you white?" This weeks episode is dedicated to everyone who is confused about their mixed race identity.  Wether you feel like a mixed-race, plus-sized Abercrombie & Fitch model or a white passing latine, we are here for you. 

So set down your baggage and listen as Maya and Angela set some outlandish intentions for the New Year. Spoiler; by the end of 2023 someone is going to own a baby and someone else is going to have lost the weight. 

Make sure to follow, download, rate, and review this podcast wherever you are listening! 

Find Nicheties on Tiktok and Instagram @Nichetiespod

Welcome back to the podcast where Maya and Angela bravely take a stand against the octopus population, TLC the television network, and Lolita. 

Now that Angela has taken over editing audio full time you may be wondering if they purposely cut all transitions between topics to give you (the listener) whiplash. But no, Maya and Angela are just masters at switching topics. So press play and catch up!

(Big shout out to anyone here who is not Angela's mom.)

There are two types of people in this world: those who are neutral about sweatpants and those who wear sweatpants in public and feel like their soul is disintegrating. Angela is the latter. We implore you to have fun with the way you dress and challenge your job's dress code. Unless you're like a carpenter or one of those mermaid performers at aquariums, then you probably don't have many options. 

Maya and Angela dive into manners and politeness in this episode and clearly do not think interrupting is a rude characteristic. We hope you learn something in this episode, we know we did! Angela learns Banana Republic is derogatory and Maya learns Nelly Furtado is white. Who would've thunk.

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Hi all! In the first-ever episode of Nicheties Maya and Angela introduce themselves both to you and seemingly to each other. Listen as Maya talks about idioms and how America turns atrocities into children's games and Angela explains how the art of palmistry was colonized and misinterpreted.

Dear Shiddies,

I think we should take a break. We've had a really good time entertaining you, but we've barely heard you laugh and you never comment on our instagram posts. It's starting to feel like a one sided relationship. I think we should both take some time to think about what we want from one another and attempt to improve ourselves. We'll work on our microphone skills, and you'll work on sharing words of affirmation, PUBLICLY. 

Like we said at the top of the letter, this is only a break. 

See you soon!

XOXO

Your hot and funny podcast hosts, 

Maya & Angela<3 

 It's a Christmas miracle that we got this episode out for you all lmao

Maya is chronically late and Angela has a chronically upset tummy and those things joined forces to create this episode. If you're time blind this is the episode for you, they talk for seemingly ages about how Maya can't perceive time and why Angela values being on time so much (spoiler alert: it's anxiety). Did you know that mental illness can cause dressing incorrectly for the weather? Oh yeah, and memory loss. 

It's winter break and Nicheties hosts are feeling run ragged so they spend time dreaming about vacation spots (San Diego, a Cruise, inside of David Blaine, etc.). Happy winter solstice, Hanukkah, Christmas, and Nicheties drop day. We're glad you're here, talk to you in 2023<3

Make sure to follow, download, rate, and review this podcast wherever you're listening!

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It's season 2 y'all!!!

This week hosts Maya and Angela take a break from their finals week studies, drag their butts to the kitchen table, and press record on Maya's iPhone to get into really important topics like the word "poop" being a slur, and ballet being self harm.  

By the time you are listening to this both Maya and Angela are one degree hotter ;) 

On this weeks episode non-parents Maya and Angela tell you how to raise your kids!!!! The two Nicheties hosts explore how and why we got to this weird place in time where we call infants "strong little men" or "sweet little girls". 

Tune in to find out what Jesus did for a living, who's on the improv scene, who's a magician, and why it is creepy to attribute gender to anyone under the age of 13. 

Are you taking full advantage of the services that your credit union has to offer? Do your parents act uniquely old? Are you a mildly annoying dog owner? Are clip on earrings racist?

This week Maya and Angela will help you answer these age old questions, and so much more!  

Find us on @Nichetiespod on Instagram & Tiktok, and never stop asking niche questions. 

This week Maya and Angela have a special surprise for you all! A format change!!

Instead of each host preparing a topic for every episode they will take turns researching and presenting niche topics and discussion questions. 

This week Maya asks the hard question of is cancel culture just boundaries for celebrities? Both hosts work together to name some celebrities they think would smell bad; spoiler, they're all men. Maya and Angela hypothesize on the evolution of Nick Cannon from the Black Ryan Seacrest to the next Steve Harvey (the turban would have a mustache too).

Pull up a seat and listen as Angela and Maya discuss why we have Oprah to blame for both Dr. Phil and the downfall of the black woman. As a bonus you may also find out where to buy someone else’s culture on a teachers salary.

POV: Your mom brought to an event at the public library to listen to queer educators, Maya and Angela, play a game, teach you about your emotions and why it's okay to have big feelings about minor events, and give a really comprehensive lesson on geography. You're sitting criss-cross applesauce on the big oval carpet with the ABC's on the edge, surrounded by other twenty-somethings who's parents thought it would be good for them to get out of the house. The lesson is about to begin in 3,2,1...... (this is where you press play).

Ever wondered how an ADD brain works? This week Maya talks about words (shocker) and how children learn to speak, connecting their creation of made-up, nonce words, to phobia naming. With a few detours to talk about Lesbian hell (run by Lesbifer) and concise opinions on The Office, you'll find out why Angela is a doppelganger for swaggy Liam Payne. 

Buckle up, buckaroo, we've got a great episode for you this week! Maya realizes the root of all her issues within the first 10 minutes (spoiler: it has to do with religious trauma) and Angela shares their latest medical discovery (spoiler: it's not crabs). 

Woman to woman. Bitch to bitch. Cohost to cohost, we think you'll love this episode. Stay tuned at the end to answer the Spotify poll question too!

New format let's goooooooooo!

Angela identifies as a smarty party which is like a smarty pants but like the party version, obviously. We all deserve a party when we feel smart, you know? Unless you're talking about metaphors and literature analysis, in which case they want you to go to hell. Because imagine Shakespeare saying, "sis, get into this metaphor." 

Ted Talks are just academic slam poetry and once you realize that criticizing them feels a lot easier. Angela both hates Ted Talks and would like to give them, they're a Gemini, shocker. Maya does not believe in astrology, I means she doesn't believe in anything, but it's fun to pretend. 

Maya reflects on the wisdom that was probably given to her as a young adult that she flat-out ignored. Like the fact that cars needed to be washed regularly, who would've thunk? She's sure there is other stuff but she was definitely not listening. 

How would you describe your forehead? Spacious like Rihanna or petite like Maya?

This week Maya and Angela sit on the floor and catch up because they haven't seen each other all week! 

In case you're curious, we do still have a mic and we are still figuring it out. This weeks episode is a bit quieter so I suggest you play us at top volume on your loudest speaker. This will provide you with maximum enjoyment, and if you're lucky it might also inspire your downstairs neighbor to bang on the ceiling as if to say "I LOVE WHAT YOU"RE LISTENING TO KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!"

CW: Emetephobia trigger at 3:00-3:15

Happy late winter solstice Shiddies!

Can I check you for a minute? We've all got weird genitals, no need to be uppity about it. Some of us have bruised color vaginas some of us have translucent jellyfish-esque areolas and that's okay (say it til it's true). Angela updates us on their bumps and lumps and maybe the fluorescent lighting in doctors' offices is a sexual deterrent? 

Maya and Angela don't enjoy movies made for men and they make sure you know it. Jungle movies? Trash. Sci fi? Trash. Fantasy movies? Trash. And please, dear god, do not get Angela started on dystopian movies. Nicheties asks you to stop worshipping Harry Potter and grow a personality..or else.

In the name of Trans people, amen.

It's here, it's queer, it's the episode where Maya and Angela are forced to talk about sports. 

"Sports?!" you just whispered in utter disbelief. Well, sports outfits. For this week's carpet time segment Angela takes you through the twists and turns of tennis fashion for the last 120 years. Spoiler alert! You can't go that hard in tennis if you're wearing a corset, that skort you wore all summer 2022 is just a tennis skirt without room for your balls, and that workout dress that you wore as your little black dress when you went clubbing is just a modern tennis dress. 

This episode is dedicated to Tug.

I know this is typically an anti-pet podcast, but I (Angela) have spent the last few weeks worried about my dog Tug. When this episode was recorded I was sure there was going to be a cure for whatever was wrong with him. Just before sitting down to write this episode description I received a call that Tug got 15 pounds of fluid drained from his abdomen and the vet still does not know what is wrong with him. They aren't running any more tests. At this point we are just hoping for the best.

Tug is my best friend and favorite being to ever exist. The first night I had him he fell asleep on my lap, belly up and I cried because I had never felt a love like that. That first night he slept in my bed and took up most of it. The next morning he woke me up at 5 AM and took a big sh*t in the corner of the room. I was annoyed, but I knew nothing he could do could make me stop loving him. To this day, the first thing I do when I see him is sit down on the floor so he can lay down in my lap, belly up.

Tug is the biggest love of my life. Since I got that first phone call telling me he was sick whenever I think about him it's like I can feel him. I can feel his muzzle being held in my hand right before I give him a smooch on the nose. I can feel his back pushed up against me as we lay on the kitchen floor, him the little spoon and me the big.

He is 12 or 13 now, I really can't remember. But I will always remember how much comfort he brought me and how much love he taught me I was capable of giving.

I am sorry that I do not have anything funny to say. I just had to tell someone, anyone, how much I love my dog.

What is this?! An episode dropping just two weeks after the last one?! Are we back to our regularly scheduled programming??? (Sorry future listener, I know you're just looking for a description of the episode, but I must take time to be amazed with us before I get into it.)

This week Maya and Angela want to ease you back into regularly scheduled shenanigans by only doing two out of their three segments. First they tell you which of them still has a hymen, then they take a short pit stop in gaslight city, only to move on and reminisce about their favorite YA books. 

Press play to find out why everyone, including Lea Michelle haters and the electric company, should shut the f**k up. 

Save the date!

When? 04/15/23

Where? Las Vegas, Nevada under the Oscar Meyer Wienermobile

What? Get married to Maya

Seriously, does anyone want to have a wiener wedding with Maya? (Cis men need not apply)

This week Maya and Angela are talking fashion and why you should call DHS on any parent who puts their 10 year old in business casual wear.

Make sure to follow, download, rate, and review wherever you are listening.

Find Nicheties on Tiktok and Instagram @NichetiesPod

 Picture this.... it's 2017 Maya is in Spain writing in her google docs diary that she shares with her college friends. She's severely depressed and her diary entries are scaring the hoes. Little does she know, she's insured overseas. She could be seeing a therapist! And listen, therapy is not a cure all but it may have stopped Angela from wanting to board a plane to knock some sense into Maya. 

This week Nicheties hosts are talking about therapy and why they love it! 

Below they have attached some links about how to get started finding a therapist. 

https://counseling.uiowa.edu/additional-resources/guide-finding-therapist-community

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us

Remember that we love you and it is okay to ask for help even if you don't know what kind of help you need.

Maya and Angela are back and have some big announcements! Maya is denouncing her Midwest roots and moving to Pennsylvania to fulfill her new dream of becoming a costal elite, and Angela is having a birthday party. Both things are equally exciting! To really prove herself as a costal elitist Maya has also decided to stop doing her own laundry, call her Priyanka Chopra Jonas.

In addition to these exciting announcements, Nicheties hosts have some important information about prehistoric looking animals with armor called scutes to share with you. Did you know sharks have scales? Did you know turtles have scutes? Did you know rhinos have armor? All these facts and more on this weeks episode. Just press play!

Make sure to follow, download, rate, and review this podcast wherever you are listening.

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Known movie hater, Angela, gets deep when talking about Greta Gerwig's, Barbie (2023), starring Margot Robbie. Angela anti-feministly (?) states, "I never felt bad for Kens," and, "men are a little bit useless."

Known movie lover, Maya, sounds like a broken record whinging, “9.5 out of 10, could’ve used more fat people."

Join Maya and Angela in this summer mini-episode recapping and reviewing summer 2023 BlockBuster™ hit, Barbie. Are these two Lesbians wet for Ken? Should men have the right to vote? Should CGI be banned and Marvel sued for reparations? Tune in to find out.

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Hold on to your pants because this weeks content will get both Maya and Angela excommunicated from the Catholic Church. Maya makes some corrections to the lies she told about men last week, and Angela sniffles their way through a few of their favorite hoaxes. Somewhere along the way the hosts realize that presidents aren't smart, grunge music isn't for them, and Jesus was a Jew.

So you’ve made it to episode 12, but I bet you’re still wondering “Who are these people?” and "How did they get here?". Lucky for you this week we did a get to know me episode where Maya and Angela tell you all about their childhoods. Tune in to find out who was of the receiving end of Maya’s first punch, and Angela’s first kiss. 

We missed you Shiddies! Welcome back to this week's episode where Maya outs Angela as being into bears (the gay kind or the animal kind?) and we discuss how weddings are just different generations of brides. You got your baby bride (flower girl), could be brides (bridesmaids), soonest bride (bouquet toss winner), actual bride (sacrifice), and washed up bride (mothers in law).

Wedding advice blogs be like, “weddings are expensive :( to save money, just exploit your friends and family!”

But Nicheties is like, "tell brides no as often as possible."

Welcome back y'all! As you listen to the second episode of Nicheties you'll hear Angela introduce Maya to the verb casserole, a detailed description of why Maya no longer does accents publicly, and what she thinks about One Direction.