My Mother's Trauma (Kim Loliya)
Explorez tous les épisodes de My Mother's Trauma
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| 12 Sep 2024 | Welcome to "My Mother's Trauma" | 00:02:53 | |
Healing intergenerational trauma needs more than quick fixes and self-care strategies, especially when racism and systemic oppression undermine every aspect of our existence. How do we do ‘the work’ of unlearning our inherited patterns when we’re exhausted? Join trauma therapist Kim Loliya for a different conversation on how to break the cycle through an anti-oppressive lens of justice and liberation. | |||
| 07 Jan 2025 | From Mothering to Smothering | 00:31:41 | |
In this episode, host Kim Loliya delves into the complexities of mothering and smothering, particularly in the context of intergenerational trauma and societal pressures. Kim reflects on the toxic culture surrounding New Year's resolutions and the systemic forces that shape our desires for change. The conversation transitions into an exploration of smothering behaviors, their roots in fear and anxiety, and the cultural dynamics that perpetuate them. Kim acknowledges the importance of recognizing these patterns and working towards healthier relationships, both as mothers and as individuals who have been smothered. CHAPTERS 00:00 Introduction to My Mother’s Trauma Podcast 01:33 Resolutions are Colonial 06:01 Decolonial Freebies Coming Up at Black Psychotherapy 08:59 The Continuum of Harmful Mothering 10:43 Smothering in Black, Brown and Indigenous Mothers 15:13 Deconstructing Smothering 18:25 Smothering Ingrained in Culture 19:49 From Smothering (Back) To Mothering 30:28 Outro CONTACT INFO
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| 19 Nov 2024 | Intergenerational Trauma: Myths And Misconceptions | 00:32:44 | |
In this episode Kim Loliya explores the complexities of intergenerational trauma, challenging common myths and misconceptions surrounding the topic. Kim emphasises the importance of broadening our understanding of trauma beyond major calamities, recognising the variability in how it manifests across different individuals and communities. The conversation delves into the roles of accountability, forgiveness, and the pressures of healing, while also highlighting the need for a broader perspective that includes community dynamics. Ultimately, the episode encourages a reflection on our own experiences and the impact of intergenerational trauma in our lives. CHAPTERS 00:00 Introduction to My Mother’s Trauma Podcast 03:43 A consequence of a big calamity like war or famine 07:12 Everyone’s suffering will look the same 10:11 You can’t stop IGT from being passed down to your children 13:51 IGT affects only Global Majority communities 16:01 It’s all your mother’s fault 19:15 Acknowledging IGT must lead to forgiveness 20:45 You can’t enjoy life until you’ve broken the cycle 22:27 You can heal IG for your whole family 24:30 A misconception that The healing process will be painful 26:57 IGT only relates to your biological family 31:28 Outro CONTACT INFO
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| 08 Oct 2024 | Reclaiming Narratives (Black History Month Edition) | 00:28:20 | |
In this episode Kim Loliya explores the theme of reclaiming narratives during Black History Month. Kim discusses the importance of recognizing how external narratives shape our identities and the need to consciously reclaim and redefine our stories. The conversation emphasises the collective nature of this work, the impact of societal structures on personal narratives, and the importance of inclusion and accessibility in community celebrations. Kim encourages listeners to reflect on the narratives they wish to rewrite and to engage in a process of empowerment and healing.
CHAPTERS 00:00 Introduction to My Mother's Trauma Podcast 01:07 Celebrating Black History Month 04:26 Reclaiming Narratives: A Central Theme 11:16 The Impact of External Narratives 20:12 Exploring Black Narratives in History 23:01 The Deliberate Act of Reclamation 25:33 Inclusion and Accessibility in Black History Month Celebrations 27:08 Outro
CONTACT INFO · Newsletter - Signup here · Question for Kim – Submit here · Website - blackpsychotherapy.org (currently under construction) · Instagram - @blackpsychotherapy · Email address - info@blackpsychotherapy.org
EPISODE LINKS · Transcript – You can find the transcript here · Events – Register here · Event - Justice in Therapy, on 15th March 2025, online. Tickets can be purchased here · Article - A 5-Year-Old Girl Gives Her Verdict on Famous Logos, and Some Fail Miserably
CREDITS · Artwork – Kim Loliya in collaboration with DALL-E · Editor & Producer – ZShed Productions | |||
| 03 Dec 2024 | Holding The Good | 00:27:20 | |
In this episode Kim Loliya explores 'holding the good' amidst the challenges of trauma and cultural barriers. Kim emphasises that goodness can be found in both significant moments and mundane experiences, and discusses the importance of self-love and community in nurturing this practice. The conversation delves into the impact of trauma on our ability to perceive goodness, the cultural conditioning that makes it difficult to celebrate positive experiences, and practical steps to cultivate a mindset that embraces goodness. Kim encourages listeners to take small, manageable steps towards holding the good, while also acknowledging the complexities of trauma and self-worth. CHAPTERS 00:00 Introduction to My Mother’s Trauma Podcast 03:17 Practicing holding the good 04:37 Defining goodness 08:11 Trauma responses to goodness 15:03 Practical steps to hold the good 24:29 Locating the good 26:07 Outro CONTACT INFO
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| 08 Oct 2024 | Surrendering To The Unknown | 00:24:18 | |
In this episode Kim Loliya delves into the complexities of intergenerational trauma, focusing on the theme of the unknown. Kim discusses how uncertainty intolerance affects individuals, particularly those from marginalised backgrounds, and how this impacts their understanding of family histories. The conversation explores the murky waters of inherited trauma, the challenges of naming and acknowledging past experiences, and the importance of community in navigating these feelings. Ultimately, Kim emphasises the need to embrace uncertainty as a pathway to healing and understanding.
CHAPTERS 00:00 Introduction to Intergenerational Trauma 01:02 Understanding the Unknown 03:30 Intolerance for Uncertainty 07:03 The Tip of the Iceberg 09:37 Defining Trauma Differently 12:18 Identifying the Known 15:08 Making Assumptions to Manage Uncertainty 19:47 Coping with the Unknown 23:04 Outro
CONTACT INFO · Newsletter - Sign up here · Question for Kim – Submit here · Events – Listed here · Website - blackpsychotherapy.org (currently under construction) · Instagram - @blackpsychotherapy · Email address - info@blackpsychotherapy.org
EPISODE LINKS · Transcript – You can find the transcript here · Events – Register here · Event - Justice in Therapy, on 15th March 2025, online. Tickets can be purchased here · Definition of Intolerance of Uncertainty · Questionnaire for Uncertainty Intolerance · Scale for Uncertainty Intolerance
CREDITS Artwork – Kim Loliya in collaboration with DALL-E Editor - Salar Khan Producer – ZShed Productions | |||
| 05 Nov 2024 | Dinner With The Dead | 00:29:55 | |
In this episode Kim Loliya explores how different cultures relate to the dead during this season of collective remembrance. Kim reflects on a personal experience from 2023 of experiencing Day of the Dead while in Mexico and the significance of community and intergenerational inclusion in processing grief. The conversation delves into the complexities of grief work, the role of joy and the importance of decolonial approaches and rituals that make space for rage and authenticity. Kim encourages listeners to find their own ways to honour their loved ones, which can also include choosing not to do that if it doesn’t feel safe or appropriate to do so. CHAPTERS 00:00 Introduction to Intergenerational Trauma 05:20 The Benefits of Time Travel 10:52 Day of the Dead Season 16:54 Complicated Feelings About The Dead 20:13 Reimagining Ancestral Work 22:28 Realistic Remembrance 28:52 Outro CONTACT INFO
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| 08 Oct 2024 | Deconstructing The Mother | 00:26:19 | |
In this inaugural episode of 'My Mother's Trauma', host Kim Loliya explores the themes of intergenerational trauma, family wounding, and the complexities of motherhood. Kim emphasises the importance of understanding these issues within the context of systemic oppression and the need for compassion in healing. The episode also delves into the societal expectations surrounding motherhood and the diverse experiences of those who identify as mothers, highlighting the need for a nuanced conversation around these topics.
CHAPTERS 00:00 Introduction to My Mother’s Trauma Podcast 01:04 Birth of a Podcast 08:45 Defining the Mother 16:31 Mothering Beyond Gender 17:29 Alternatives to Traditional Motherhood 22:57 Taking Care Around Trauma 25:05 Outro
CONTACT INFO · Newsletter - Sign up here · Question for Kim – Submit here · Events – Listed here · Website - blackpsychotherapy.org (currently under construction) · Instagram - @blackpsychotherapy · Email address - info@blackpsychotherapy.org
EPISODE LINKS · Transcript – You can find the transcript here. · Events – Register here · Event - Justice in Therapy, on 15th March 2025, online. Tickets can be purchased here · Article - ‘Other’ mothers: motherhood and the African diaspora by Marjorie H Morgan · Website - Word associations
CREDITS Artwork – Kim Loliya in collaboration with DALL-E Editor – Ed Bishop | |||
| 23 Dec 2024 | Intergenerational Trauma Over The Holidays | 00:37:41 | |
In this episode Kim Loliya reflects on the recent Justice in Therapy conference, discussing the complexities of engaging in justice work, especially in the context of familial trauma during the holiday season. Kim explores themes of emotional labor, gender dynamics, racial capitalism, and the impact of migration and displacement on holiday experiences. Kim goes on to emphasise the importance of community support, self-care, and the need for mental health resources during this challenging time. The episode concludes with gratitude for the listeners and a hopeful outlook for future discussions on intergenerational trauma. CHAPTERS 00:00 Introduction to My Mother’s Trauma Podcast 01:08 Intergenerational gifts making justice work possible 09:13 Femme labour over the holidays 12:56 Racial capitalism as intergenerational trauma 18:16 Navigating harm from family members 26:53 Migration, displacement and loneliness 29:58 Breaks in therapy 33:10 End of year gratitude 36:25 Outro CONTACT INFO
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| 24 Oct 2024 | A Harvest For The Heart | 00:28:18 | |
In this episode Kim Loliya explores the theme of harvesting, particularly in the context of living in the diaspora. Kim discusses the significance of land, the challenges faced by those disconnected from it, and the importance of land justice. The conversation transitions into defining harvesting both physically and emotionally, emphasising the need for community support and the potential for emotional healing. Kim invites listeners to reflect on their own emotional harvesting and the tools they may need to gather their realisations and feelings. CHAPTERS 00:00 Introduction to Intergenerational Trauma 01:49 Ancestral Rites: The Invisible Pull of Land 07:45 Improved Recovery With Nature Scenes 09:52 Defining Harvesting: Physical and Emotional Perspectives 13 41 Emotional Harvesting: Gathering from the Heart 16:42 Harvesting Dreams: An Afrofuturist Perspective 22:32 Tools for Emotional Harvesting 27:07 Outro CONTACT INFO
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