Mind your Mornings (Anna Chandy)

In this episode Anna shares her learnings from the year gone by.

Today I talk about another disorder from Cluster B – Anti-social Personality Disorder. What makes them feel it is them against the world. Why do they carry this rage? And how does it impact their everyday life. Listen on.

This is episode one of Mind Your Mornings. And in this episode I’ll delve deeper into a word that is spoken about a lot, but very rarely understood. Today, let’s talk about Empathy. Most of us, at some point, have felt that someone close to us lacks empathy. It could be your spouse, partner, parents, friend, co-worker...Sometimes in mid-conversation, you realise the other person is just not getting you. Or they snap at you. Or tell you to move on, get over it. Or shift the topic entirely, very often to themselves. And then what happens to you? You are left confused, and maybe even angry, irritated or frustrated. You feel unheard! Sounds familiar? Listen now to learn more.

Trigger Warning: Sexual abuse and rape

Last week we spoke about Child Sexual Abuse. But who are these predators? And how do they go about this traumatizing behavior? In today’s episode let’s look at signs we need to be weary of.

This is part two of a three-part series on Child Sexual Abuse.

Moral injury is a recent development in the field of psychology. It is accompanied by

shame and social isolation. Listen on to understand what is moral injury and how it is

caused.

Today, we are going to get a preview into the connection between mind and body. The concept is not new; it is well understood since ancient times. Neuroscience is proving it today.

Most of us have experienced feeling good after a workout. Some of us have felt a certain heaviness when we are sad. And others might have noticed feeling unsettled in the stomach before a flight or exam or presentation.

Well this is because our thoughts and feelings don’t function in isolation. They make themselves at home in our organs, in the gut, chest, legs.

These are some common experiences we have noticed. What else is our body trying to tell us? And how do we discover it? Let’s ask Komal who is a counsellor with Anna Chandy & Associates with a Certification in Mind Body Medicine.

Welcome to the final episode of Season 2 of Mind your Mornings. This season we took a break from psycho-education. Instead we decided to look at mental health journeys from within. We spoke to therapists and their clients. People just like you and me. People with stories and secrets. Their transformation is not one off, and neither is it complete. Each of them is on their own unique journey to know themselves better. To discover what really matters to them. And to carve a path to achieve it.They were kind enough to give us their time. But more importantly each of them was brave enough to share their personal story with us. Each of them decided to wear their vulnerability with authenticity.As we bring this season to close, let’s look back at the journey – the why, and the how of Season 2.With me I have Anna; host, therapist, and founder of Anna Chandy & Associates. Today we will unpack the key takeaways, and discuss our key learnings.

In today's episode, we’ll discuss a phenomenon which is lesser known: Intergenerational trauma and The family secret. What is the unsaid message that lurks in families? How does it travel through generations?

Shedding light on this today we have Sudha along with her client Rina. Sudha is a senior therapist with Anna Chandy & Associates. She comes with decades of experience working with clients across age groups. Sudha grew up in a highly interdependent family. There were strong power structures at play. Her journey, observing these dynamics, informed her beliefs about the hierarchies within families. At some point this led to a breakdown. She found her answers in therapy. Therapy offered insights which then led her to explore family systems and intergenerational messages.

The last few years has made us all conscious of the role of someone taking care of an unwell family member. I guess the pandemic set this in motion. We saw close friends

and their parents taking up the role of a caregiver – sometimes for months. And we have personally seen their lives change. Their priorities change. So when Vineeta, a senior counsellor on the Anna Chandy team, told us she would like to talk about Caregiving, we were all ears. In this episode, we will chat with Vineeta Sood. She will walk us through the mindset and the long-term impact of caregiving.

Toxic Relationships are not that uncommon but it could take a very long time to recognise and step out of one. In this episode we will take you through the various kinds of toxic people and the methods they use to retain power and control in a relationship. Listen on to learn more.

The most common association with a chameleon is its ability to change color. What can we learn from it and how does it reflect the human mind? Discover how the Chameleon Effect plays out in our interactions. Listen on to learn more.

This episode is dedicated to all those who we have lost. To all those who are still battling. And all those who are surviving the pandemic. To the physically fit, but mentally anxious ones. A reality check on what we are going through now, and what we can expect tomorrow.

What most of us are going through right now is trauma. Trauma that can lead to PTSD, or post- traumatic stress disorder. PTSD is a term which has largely been used for a traumatic event that has occurred in our lives. An event that we have either experienced ourselves or witnessed in front of us.

Trauma – we have all lived through it, some of us are experiencing it right now. What causes trauma? And can we heal from it? In this episode I share some learnings from expert Dr Gabor Mate and his study of trauma and healing.

The last year has been a tough one for all of us. As therapists we are also individuals who face the same traumas, uncertainties like anyone else. What has the last year been like for therapists? And how do we deal with the reality of today?

You only care about your friends, not me! Why did you give her the bigger piece of chocolate? Your number is always busy, who are you talking to? I don’t think he deserved that promotion. What is common in these familiar complaints? Listen on to learn more.

Not all people with unhealthy narcissism are obvious. Some are shy and introverted but mirror the traits of loud and pompous ones. Listen on to understand the Covert Narcissist and how their behave impacts others.

A lot of us have heard the word Inadequacy, today let's find out the meaning of it.

In this season of Mind your Mornings we will unpack Mental Health from within. People just like you and me will recount their journeys – as therapists, as clients, as facilitators and as caregivers.

The last decade was about bringing mental health to light. This decade should be dedicated to uncloaking the so-called monster. So let’s take a peak into conversations from a closed room. Let’s explore some forms of the shape-shifter.

From then, to now, we have come a long way. And we have a path ahead of us to cover.

Trigger Warning: Sexual abuse and rape

In the last episode we spoke about predators and their calculated process behind child sexual abuse. But what impact does this have on the individual? And what behaviours do they carry into adulthood? Listen on to understand how trauma impacts life outside that equation. This is part three of the three-part series on Child Sexual Abuse.

All happy families are happy in their unique way. But all dysfunctional families are unhappy for the same reason – power and control. Join me as I take you on my journey with a family system I have been working with.

In this episode we will talk about the inner lives of two generations who are rarely understood and often labelled fickle. Millennials and Gen Z – the ones who grew up in digital spaces, but long for greenery. The ones who find it difficult to stick to a job, but are committed to long term resource conservation. The ones who are desperately seeking love, but are often inhibited by their own search for meaning.

The urban Millennials and Gen Z – for whom the world is a buzz of success, acquaintances, socializing, but also immense loneliness.

What is going on with the young people and how does it impact them – their mental health, relationships and friendships? We get a window into this with Farah, our associate.

In today’s episode let’s look at the impact of the lockdown. I’m not going to get into the impact on economy, or social order. A lot has been spoken about that by experts. Today I want to address what the lockdown is doing to our mental health.

Trigger Warning: Sexual abuse and rape

A toxic, prevalent part of society, child sexual abuse is often the elephant in the room. It looms large, casts a shadow, but is never discussed. This is part one of a three-part series on Child Sexual Abuse.

Today we explore the parent-child dynamic and how it impacts our relationship with attachment and authenticity.

How are some people so content? Doesn’t everyone experience inner conflict? How do I silence my inner turmoil and live a more meaningful life? Answers to all this and more on today’s episode of Mind Your Mornings.

In this season, I thought we could take the conversation a step further. Let’s talk about personality disorders. After a lot of research, experts have identified 10 types of disorders. And these are further grouped into three clusters – A, B and C.

But before we get into it, I wanted to clarify the difference between personality traits and personality disorders. We all have personality traits that are relatively stable but can change over time and life experiences. Personality disorders usually exist from childhood or late adolescence. And show up in all areas of life.

In today’s episode I will be talking about a behavioural pattern that is fairly common in relationships. This behaviour is all about power and control. I have seen it play out in various systems, especially families.

Now, some of you might have heard of the term gaslighting. This one word has a lot of complex actions and reactions built into it. It is difficult to diagnose, and requires deepattentiveness for a therapist to spot the signs.

What do therapists look for when they are in the room with the client? How can they go deeper to heal the individual? Compassionate inquiry – an approach by Dr Gabor Mate has the answers. Listen to today’s episode to know what it is.

When does confidence become overconfidence? When do assumptions become facts? Why do we fail to see our limitations? All this and more in today’s episode on the Dunning-Kruger effect.

Today, we have two very special guests with us.

Deepti Chandy is an associate counsellor at Anna Chandy & Associates. She has been practicing therapy for the last 2 years and is a TA trainee. And with her, we have Varun. Varun is on his mental health journey and Deepti is his therapist. He has graciously accepted our request to be on this podcast and share his experience with us.

In today’s times, when therapy is still a taboo, Varun has chosen to come forward and speak. We hope this creates a domino effect that leads to more acceptance and transparency around therapy.

What happens when we internalise trauma? Where does it go?

And more importantly how do we release it from the confines of our mind and body? Discover the power of somatic experiencing – an approach developed by Dr Peter Levine.

Shamans, healers, therapists. What is the commonality between them and the impact they have on us? Is there something deeper that they can see which is ignored by our logical self? Uncover these mysteries and more in today’s episode.

Cinderella is a popular tale for children. It shows the transformation of an unjust world

to the perfect happy ending. But did you know the tale has greater significance to our

lives today? Listen on to learn the cultural relevance of this much-loved fable.

When something goes wrong do you look inward or outward for someone to blame? Do you avoid confrontation and take out your anger on someone else? Then this podcast might be for you.

Mentally protecting ourselves is important. Our mind is fascinating and has developed ways to cope with unwanted stimuli. Defence mechanisms serve to protect us. When do they become harmful? Listen on to know more about the various Defence Dechanisms we use.

Do you doubt your skills? Do you feel your accomplishments are a stroke of luck? Do you fear that people will one day see that your talents don’t belong to you? You are not alone. Listen on to know more about the syndrome questions our self belief.

In every relationship, there is delicate balance between the person and your own

principles. Usually one wins over the other. How does this impact the relationship and

more importantly, you? Listen on to find out why some relationships bring us joy and

some, well, result in chaotic interactions.

Do you find it difficult to say no in situations? Do you struggle to stand up for yourself? Would you rather go with someone’s choice, even it means ignoring yours? If your answer is yes, or you know someone for whom this is relevant, this episode is for you.

What is the journey of metamorphosis? When does a caterpillar know it is ready? And

can we humans, let go of our emotional wounds and undergo psychological

metamorphosis? Listen to know more.

In this episode I talk about Narcissistic Personality Disorder, part of the Cluster B of disorders. What defines individuals with this disorder? What gives them away? And what is the inner would beneath all the behaviour we see? Listen on to know more.

While trauma is borne singularly, its impact is seen on the collective. Find out how events of the past keep trauma alive even today. This is the second in a series of episodes about Trauma.

Today let’s look at a personality disorder that is well-researched and defined. Borderline Personality Disorder falls under Cluster B, the emotional, dramatic and erratic cluster. It is not uncommon among the disorders.

People with BPD suffer from emotional dysregulation with a high rate of attempted suicides. It is not always easy to diagnose a cluster B disorder. An individual can meet the full diagnostic of BPD and HPD, while also showing traits of NPD and APD. Sometimes, a person can also have a mixed personality disorder. They might have traits of all the 4, but not meet any one entirely. It takes a potent psychiatrist to make a clear diagnosis.

We often hear the phrase toxic relationship. But what makes a relationship toxic? What are the traits and more importantly, what do I do if I feel like I am in one? All this and more in today’s episode of Mind Your Mornings.

What happens when you are young and queer? When you begin to sense attraction before you even have the vocabulary for it? When everyone around you mocks you for the way you talk, or the way you walk? You internalize the shame and begin to resent yourself. This is not a story from the past. This is the reality of today. While some of us our fortunate to get support, many still struggle to express themselves.

Today, we have a special guest. Arjun is a advocate lawyer and brilliant photographer.

Growing up queer, he has faced the anger and ridicule of society. Today, he would like to share his journey, his experience with us. With Arjun we have Padma, his therapist. Padma is an unbiased listener and sees herself as an enabler on the journey of individuals to healing. She has over 20 years of experience in counselling. She specializes in working with adolescents, parents of children and young adults.

In this episode we interview Dr. Ramya Mohan, She is known for her work in the field of Clinical Psychiatry by integrating Neuroscience with the Creative Arts. Since 2008, she has been with National Health Service as a Senior Consultant Psychiatrist and a Medical Educator. She employs her self-developed therapeutic technique ‘CAPE: Creative Arts for Processing Emotions’ where she uses music & art as media to support emotional well-being, cure mental illnesses and aid personality development.

In this episode Anna Chandy gets candid in conversation with her client, Sanjay.

Sanjay hails from a business family, and started seeing Anna as part of family therapy. He has met Anna several times over the last 4 years – both in individual sessions and together with his family.

Systemic therapy is rarely discussed in India. It is ironic, since several families could benefit from it.

In our last episode we shared learnings from Anna. In this episode we hear learnings from her team. Listen on to hear the various learnings our therapists had in 2020.

We all understand the impact of a physical illness on mental health. But there is another causal relationship between the two – where our feelings determine our physiology. Listen to the latest episode to discover the wonders of the mind-body connection.

The concept of Narcissism is familiar to most of us. But what are the defining traits of a narcissist? And at what point does it become unhealthy? Listen on to know more about the subtle signs of narcissism and how they exist in most of us.

Hello and welcome to Mind Your Mornings a bimonthly podcast with host, Anna Chandy. Anna is a practising counsellor and a certified training and supervising transactional analyst. Over the last twenty-seven years, she has interacted with more than five hundred people, both individuals and families. And through this podcast, she brings to you what she has learnt about life and its nuances through the experiences of everyone she has interacted with. Join us as we talk about the journey to a Brave New You. A journey that is about self discovery.

In this episode, I will talk about the second disorder in Cluster B – Histrionic Personality Disorder. If there is one word that sums up this disorder it is attention. To understand their world of attention better, listen on.

In today’s episode we have Reshma Prakash, an accomplished therapist and an integral part of the team at Anna Chandy & Associates. With her we have Gopica, Reshma’s client. Gopica is a long-term client and she has been seeing Reshma for the last 4 years. She is a young, ambitious professional driving her own success. Like many of her generation, she is figuring out relationships, especially romantic relationships. In this episode Gopica will talk about the patterns she has discovered and what changes therapy has brought to her life over the last few years.

Guilt, Anger, Grief and Shame. Emotions we have all felt at some point. Where do these emotions stem from? Are they normal? All this and more in today’s episode of Mind Your Mornings.