Living with Heart: From Birth to Death (Dr. Chip Dodd & Bryan Barley)
Explorez tous les épisodes de Living with Heart: From Birth to Death
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| 30 Jan 2024 | 4 - Healthy/Unhealthy Ways to Belong and Matter (Part 2) | 01:00:23 | |
The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (www.vothcenter.com).
The two primary needs are the need to belong and the need to matter. The need to belong is being accepted for how I am created. The need to matter is to be appreciated for what I bring specifically and uniquely to how I am created.
We are looking for affirmation and confirmation
We are so created for relationship that we have to have it one way or another. Either we’re going to have it as we are created or we’re going to have to take over and try to become someone we’re not so that we can receive the smile, the approval, the affirmation, the confirmation, the connection which inauthentically “meets” our need to belong and matter.
When your need to belong and matter is not met as you are created for it to be met, you will find another way to have those needs met.
When your need to matter and the need to belong are met in healthy ways through affirmation and confirmation, it will open you up to thriving.
Sadly, when our need for belonging and mattering is not met in legitimate ways, we use illegitimate means in order to have our legitimate needs met.
Our wounds can drive us to do great and extraordinary things, but no matter how much we give, it doesn’t heal us, because the toxic shame still says I must have done something wrong for me to be in this situation.
Toxic shame creates a circle of self-destruction that makes us, in the world’s eyes, successful often.
Generational Curse - Once you become loyal to protecting the people who did not affirm you for who you were, you get affirmed for acting like they act. You develop an addiction to avoidance of having to face your grief, loss, reality that you were raised by humans who wouldn’t do “human” well and wouldn’t need God well.
Action Steps to Thriving:
weapons of blame but as ownership of response-ability.)
Patience means willing to carry the burden of hope.
Passion means the willingness to be in pain for something that matters more than the pain.
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| 27 Feb 2024 | 8 - The Need for Guidance | 01:09:07 | |
The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com).
The Needs of the Heart by Chip Dodd “We must continue to rediscover and surrender to the reality that we are emotional and spiritual creatures, not slugs, raccoons, rats, birds or scorpions. Do you get it? Those things get by on essential provisional existence. We're made for more than provisional existence. We're made to live fully. We're made for more than survival and instinct. We are created to be guided and to guide.” -The Needs of the Heart, Chapter 9 Neediness is the key that unlocks the treasure trove of God. Neediness “allows” God to:
When we stop only being grateful for our provision and equate love with provision only, we stop our imagining having more than what we were given already. When a person says their parents were great because I had food, water, shelter, and clothing, then you have stopped your imagination and you’ve stopped yourself from feeling the rest of what’s true. You stopped yourself from feeling sadness, from acknowledging hurt, loneliness, or fear. Once you stop your feelings, you stop acknowledgement of needing. Guidance is neediness and the need to learn. “Thus says the LORD: Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart turns away from the Lord. He is like a shrub in the desert, and shall not see any good come. He shall dwell in the parched places of the wilderness, in an uninhabited salt land. Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.” Jeremiah 17:5-8 The heart of guidance is the willingness to recognize you need help. When we run from how we are made, we wind up doing things that:
The solution is to admit the pain. Hurt people…hurt people. Hurt people who don’t admit hurt, harm people. Our shame and defensiveness keeps us from asking for help and guidance.
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| 30 Jul 2024 | 30 - The Rediscovered Treasure (Part 3) | 00:36:48 | |
The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com).
We are born as emotional and spiritual creatures. We are born with feelings. Before we ever think or speak our first word, we are expressing ourselves as feeling creatures.
We experience life in the very beginning as God made us through our feelings and through the longings to be in relationship with our mothers and fathers.
We came out of the womb experiencing life through what we feel.
We came out of the womb looking for who was looking for us. We were looking for emotional and spiritual connection through relationship, before we were ever able to think or speak.
This emotional and spiritual language is the language of the heart.
We communicated from the very beginning of our lives with our feelings.
Hurt
Hurt that is not acknowledged becomes resentment. It is the impaired expression of hurt. It is a justification of your right to act badly towards another person because you carry a pain that they’ve given you. Resentment takes us out of relationship.
People who won’t acknowledge their hurt, hurt others with their resentment. (Hurt people, hurt people.)
Loneliness
Loneliness that is not acknowledged becomes apathy.
Apathy develops when you try to make your heart stop caring about relationship.
Sadness
Sadness that is not acknowledged becomes self-pity. Self-pity is a way of trying to escape your pain.
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| 04 Jun 2024 | 22 - Tell the Truth - to Others (Part 2) | 00:58:00 | |
The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (www.vothcenter.com).
Dr. Chip Dodd
Voice of the Heart Center | |||
| 23 Apr 2024 | 16 - The Need for Fun | 00:51:47 | |
The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (www.vothcenter.com).
Dr. Chip Dodd
Voice of the Heart Center | |||
| 23 Jan 2024 | 3 - The Need to Belong and Matter (Part 1) | 00:57:15 | |
The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (www.vothcenter.com).
Needs of the Heart by Chip Dodd
God designed us to be needy.
Having neediness is not a weakness.
What are some of our needs that are described in “Needs of the Heart”?
“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” Ecclesiastes 3:11
A friend doubles your joy and halves your sorrows. (Old Proverb)
Trauma occurs when a person experiences a tragic happening, and they have NO place to take their pain. So, the feelings get frozen because they have no place to go except suppressed, repressed, hidden, gone, gotten rid of, disassociated from.
Intuition + Suspicion + Questions = Discernment
Intuition is God-given. It is a sense of what is going on around you.
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs
Our most powerful needs are belonging and mattering.
“Needs of the Heart” by Dr. Chip Dodd, Chapter 9 “Guidance,” Page 51
Impoverishment is not knowing your heart and not being able to connect with yourself, others, and God.
We come out of the womb looking for who is looking for us.
“The Voice of the Heart” by Dr. Chip Dodd
We are born with 2 primary needs: the need to belong and the need to matter.
The need to belong is the need to be accepted as I am created. The need to matter is to be valued for what I bring to creation.
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| 26 Mar 2024 | 12 - The Need to be Heard (Listening + Trust) | 01:11:49 | |
The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (www.vothcenter.com).
Dr. Chip Dodd
Voice of the Heart Center | |||
| 25 Jun 2024 | 25 - The Ladder | 00:42:36 | |
The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com).
“The Process” Feel your feelings, tell the truth about your feelings, and trust God with the process, because He owns the process.
Free Downloadable Resource - The Ladder (https://www.chipdodd.com/free-resources-download)
The Ladder is a disrupter of The Process. If you get trapped on The Ladder, you will miss The Process and you will miss the actual “arrival” that you’re created to have because you never acquired the skills of living fully.
We are created for connection; created to find fulfillment through relationship with ourselves, others and God.
Parents often want to prevent their children from having to experience the pains of the world, so they teach them to act in an “acceptable” way; they teach them to perform. The result is, children wind up giving up their presence (God given uniqueness) and putting performance in the place of how God made them.
We come out of the womb with healthy shame. Examples: I am going to make mistakes. I’m dependent. I can’t help but be fully present. I can’t help but be in need. I’m a feeling creature. If something is sad or I lose something, I’m going to cry. If I walk into the dark, I need someone to hold my hand, etc.
Webinar on Shame > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0Pjb6EsAGI
We are created to find fulfillment through relationships. When this need isn’t met through relationship, we will give up our God-given identity and start looking to others to fulfill what they want from us, and claim a false identity, in order to find fulfillment through belonging and mattering.
“Adorning the Dark” by Andrew Peterson
“Through the praise of children and infants you have established a stronghold against your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger.” Psalm 8:2 (NIV)
“And he said: ‘Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.’” Matthew 18:3 (NIV)
Once healthy shame is rejected, once it becomes not okay to make mistakes, once it becomes not okay to be in need, once one becomes distrusting of questions, an unwillingness to risk having answers/ideas, and once we start to have to be more than human, we lose connection with healthy shame.
Healthy shame is a dependency feeling that allows us to have the humility to be people who can be of equal worth to other people. We have the same needs. We have the same heartaches. We have the same struggles. We have the same feelings.
“It’s a Small World” is considered a children’s song, but it is so deep and rich. The lyrics are pure and true for everyone, young and old.
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| 23 Jul 2024 | 29 - The Rediscovered Treasure (Part 2) | 00:20:48 | |
The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com).
The focus of this episode is a recording of a men’s retreat that Chip did in Texas in 1993. The retreat content was edited and put on CDs. The CDs were included with the first edition copies of The Voice of the Heart published in 2001.
You’ve got to get defeated to become rich in this “God world”.
God says that what He is after is our hearts. Our hearts that He made, that He created, that He loves.
“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him.
They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.” Jeremiah 17:7-8 (NIV)
What is feeding the roots of the tree? Its roots are planted in what feeds it, and it receives emotional and spiritual food.
God feeds our hearts with emotional and spiritual food.
God stamps our hearts with feelings, needs, desire, longings, and hope at birth. This is what God is after. This is what puts us into a relationship with the God of our forefathers.
Through our feelings, needs, desire, longings, and hope we end up growing into a strong person who others can love and trust.
Torment in our lives does not come from exposing the truth about our hearts; torment comes from the energy we take to keep our hearts hidden.
We are as sick as the secrets we keep within us, from the smallest manipulation to the largest secret.
The difference between an unhealthy family and a healthy family is the willingness to seek forgiveness. Healthy families seek forgiveness.
Truths: Pain of the heart is the teacher. Love is the lesson. Life is the result. Sharing that is the practice.
God loves us so much that He will go to any length to get us back. There is nothing we can do to earn it. God doesn’t need anything we have.
God does not need us: He craves us. He wants us. He wishes to be with us.
Some of the Pharisees in the crowd said to Jesus, “Teacher, rebuke your disciples!” “I tell you,” he replied, “if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.” Luke 19:39-40 (NIV)
God doesn’t need us; We need Him. The price we pay for needing Him is having to go through the excruciating and glorious pain of being loved, without being able to do anything to get it.
What we can do is live out our salvation. He is the way, the truth, and the life. He came to bring life and life abundantly.
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| 09 Apr 2024 | 14 - The Need for Attention | 00:47:15 | |
The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (www.vothcenter.com).
Dr. Chip Dodd
Voice of the Heart Center | |||
| 09 Jul 2024 | 27 - The Four Essential Questions | 00:47:51 | |
The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com). Continue reading below for an in-depth review of this podcast. Awaken-Awakening is to know and experience ourselves as emotional & spiritual creatures, created to live fully. We do so through relationship with ourselves, others, and God. We awaken to feelings, needs, desire, longings and hope, or “The Spiritual Root System.” And we awaken to our inborn need to connect. Free Resource, The Spiritual Root System Acquire-Acquiring is to gain the skills of using how we are created to live fully in a life that is wonderful and yet difficult. We are created to live full lives in relationship with ourselves, others, and God. In living full lives, we embrace and express our feelings, needs, desire, longings, and hope with others and God. When we awaken and then acquire the skills of living fully, we are moving through life in the River of Euphoria. Free Resource, The River of Euphoria Arrive-Arriving is a reference to us becoming people who are Portable Sanctuaries. People who are Portable Sanctuaries are people who live in the River of Euphoria and have become safe people because they offer replenishment to those who are empty. They offer redemption to those who feel worthless, and they offer restoration to those whose storehouses are empty. We never fully arrive; we are always growing and learning. But we become more able to be of service. The Four Essential Questions allow us to remain in the life-long process of Awakening, Acquiring, and Arriving. The Four Essential Questions are:
These Four Essential Questions are never summed up or finished completely. They are circles that are moving forward, headed toward where you are made to go. They continue for the rest of our lives. These Four Essential Questions allow us to continue to grow. The answers keep us connected to awakening, acquiring skills, and arriving over and over again. These questions keep us fully involved in living exactly how we are created to live and move us to do what we’re made to do. We are created to do one thing in life, and that is to live fully. Meaning, purpose, and significance develop out of being fully alive emotionally and spiritually. The only way we are going to remain fully alive is through all of the relational experiences we have with others and God. If you’re fully alive:
Click here to continue reading episode highlights.
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| 30 Apr 2024 | Season 2 Episode 17: Introduction to "The Process" | 00:46:21 | |
Chip and Bryan commence season 2 of "Living with Heart," beginning their conversation on "The Process," with a particular focus on what "The Process" is not (denial and dissociation).
The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (www.vothcenter.com).
Dr. Chip Dodd
Voice of the Heart Center | |||
| 06 Feb 2024 | 5 - The Need to Feel | 00:37:13 | |
The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com).
We all have a physical body, and we all have an emotional body.
We are all 99.9% identical. You can’t escape your DNA.
Everything seeks the fullest expression of its survival and thriving.
We have an emotional and spiritual DNA.
We are feeling creatures who need, desire, long and hope.
Hope is the birthmark and birthplace of being human.
Human beings seek pleasure and seek to avoid pain. It turns out that without dealing with pain, we will never have the pleasure we are made to have.
We have been given 8 feelings that open us up to needs. The 8 feelings are sad, fear, healthy shame, hurt, lonely, guilt, anger, and glad.
Free downloadable resources:
We have been given the gift of feeling. Because we live in a tragic place, if you don’t do feelings, you can’t do living. You can’t be emotionally present.
We’ve been given fear that allows us to recognize danger and seek help.
We’ve been given sadness that allows us attach to what matters, what we care about, and also allows us to deal with loss because life is full of change.
We’ve been given hurt that calls us to seek healing in our wounds. Hurt is painful. You can’t carry on fully unless you get healing from hurt. Healing makes us wiser and courageous.
We’ve been given loneliness as a testimony that we’re relationally created to be in relationship with ourselves. We get loneliness to spend time with ourselves, solitude. We have loneliness to spend time with others. There are certain people who we are made to be connected with more than others. We get lonely for God and lonely to create and have impact. Loneliness brings us to friendship and intimacy.
We’ve been given anger. Anger is a very vulnerable feeling because it exposes what we care about. It is a feeling that allows us to hope, wish, want, desire, long and yearn. The gift of anger is passion, a willingness to be in pain for what matters more than pain.
Healthy shame is the dependency feeling. It is the recognition that I need you; You need me; I make mistakes; so do you; I don’t have all the answers, but I’ve got some, let’s share; I’m not God and you aren’t either; so let’s face that we’re in need of God.
Guilt lets us recognize when we do something that goes against our value system.
Gladness is an outcome of being good at the other 7 feelings.
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| 02 Jul 2024 | 26 - Becoming a Portable Sanctuary | 00:46:20 | |
The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com).
We cannot escape the way God designed us. (Only addiction gives us the illusion that we can.)
There is no escape from our design. We’re designed by God as feeling creatures who are spiritually hungry and craving. We’re designed to do one thing in this life, live fully. And we can’t live fully unless we are doing so in relationship with ourselves, others, and God. And being fully alive, expresses God’s glory. “The glory of God is man fully alive.” Saint IrenaeusA human being who is fully alive as God created us to be, is God glorified, because He created us to shape, make, do, multiply, create, serve, help, etc. It means to care when others quit; to continue on when others stop; and to walk when others lie down.
Where do we draw the strength and courage to carry on? It comes from God Who generously gives it to us. Given to us so that we can give it away to others. God made us to live like that.
Once we give ourselves to The Process, we have gotten off The Ladder. We are living in the River of Euphoria. The river takes us forward to becoming a Portable Sanctuary.
More on Euphoria River in Episode 18, “Living Fully in ‘The River”
FREE DOWNLOAD > River of Euphoria
What is “The River of Euphoria” or “Euphoria River”? Euphoria means “good bearing.” The River of Good Bearing. It means to bear life well. Live the good life. It’s a flow. It’s a promise. It’s a process.
The river is where we meet God’s faithfulness. We want to live fully in The Euphoria River. This means we are moving in a particular direction, going somewhere specific. And it leads us to a place that is called a “portable sanctuary”.
Euphoria means “to bear well”. Hyperphoria is an escape to action. It is anxiety-driven. Hypophoria is an escape to apathy or escape-to-control. Both hyperphoria and hypophoria are about escaping having to feel.
The Three Movements of living fully, that move us into becoming Portable Sanctuaries are:
Once you awaken and begin to be in pursuit of the life you’re made to have, you need to know how to do hurt, sadness, loss, celebration, grief, hope, desire, needs, and fear; in other words, we live life as feeling creatures who have to struggle.
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| 13 Aug 2024 | Season 4 Episode 32 - What is Codependency? | 00:53:03 | |
The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com).
Click here if you would like more information about Champion's Path
Chip Dodd- The Boy & the Ogre: Finding Freedom from Codependency
Melody Beatty – Codependent No More
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| 06 Aug 2024 | 31 - The Rediscovered Treasure (Part 4) | 00:30:02 | |
Episode 31: The Rediscovered Treasure (Part 4)
The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com).
Needs are:
Our need to belong and our need to matter are more important than food, shelter, and clothing. We will give up food, shelter and clothing in order to belong and matter. The unseen needs are more powerful than the seen needs. God gives us the desire of our hearts.
We are born with longings.
We long for justice. (We see a small child lying in a bed in a pediatric intensive care unit with bandages and tubes, and we cry, “NO!” We don’t have to know the child to recognize the injustice of it.)
We recognize that we are not made to die of disease. We’re not made to kill each other. We’re not made for war.
We are made for love and peace and eternity and raising each other up.
We are made to experience the grace of a hand that can reach into the farthest depths. There is no mistake that is so far away that God can’t reach us.
We long for a place where we can put our heads against a safe shoulder, where there are arms to go around us, and there is a voice that says, “It’s okay now, it’s okay. You can rest now.” We long for a place called “home,” where God lives.
Longings are deep cravings within our hearts that will never be fulfilled as long as we live on this earth. It’s living in the wishing every day. It’s living in the wanting forever. It’s meeting God every day, and God says, “One day it will all be complete.”
Surrender your heart every day, and it will change. Walk in the surrender every day. Live in the world of miracles. Tell the truth and live in the truth. Open your eyes to see the joy of what happens when we walk in the truth.
If we do not deal with our hearts, we end up living counterfeit lives.
We pursue all forms of counterfeit fulfilments instead of believing that God can fill us.
Sadly, we end up practicing hopelessness. We practice hopelessness as a way of not taking a risk to believe that our heart’s yearnings are real. We refuse to believe that our feelings really matter. We refuse to be vulnerable. We refuse to surrender our lives to the God Who made us.
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| 11 Jun 2024 | 23 - Trust the Process (Part 1) | 00:52:17 | |
The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (www.vothcenter.com).
Dr. Chip Dodd
Voice of the Heart Center | |||
| 16 Jul 2024 | Season 3 Episode 28 - The Rediscovered Treasure (Part 1) | 00:29:15 | |
The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com). The focus of this episode is a recording of a retreat that Chip did in Texas in 1993. The retreat content was edited and put on CDs. The CDs were included with the first edition copies of The Voice of the Heart published in 2001. The CD intro song is “Capshaw.” The banjo is played by John Balch. It is available on iTunes and Spotify. John’s website is hidebanjoheads.com. Living With Heart Podcast “Becoming a Portable Sanctuary” Episode 26 The message on the CD is just as true today as it was in 1993 when Chip did the retreat. Our God absolutely looks toward us, moves into our world, and changes our lives, not a little, but a lot, not as an event, but as a journey.
Our God is not a god of an event; He is the God of the journey and the God of relationship. God is also our destiny. “Then the Lord God called to the man, and said to him, “Where are you?” Genesis 3:9 (NASB) “…Let the one who is thirsty come; and let the one who wishes take the free gift of the water of life.” Revelation 22:17 (NIV) God is in pursuit of our hearts; He is in pursuit of what He created. “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.” Psalm 139:13 When we came into this world, we were stamped with the image of God. God made us in His image. You and I were created to live fully. We were created as emotional and spiritual creatures, created to live fully in relationship with myself, with others, and with God. We are made to live fully in 3D.
We are made in the image of God! Everything about life is about relationship. The 18” journey from our heads to our hearts is the longest journey that we will ever take. It is a journey of wholeness. The journey never ends. If we don’t make that 18” journey, we will be a failure. We will fail within the walls of our own home and we will never be of maximum service. | |||
| 05 Mar 2024 | 9 - The Need to Grieve | 00:49:48 | |
The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (www.vothcenter.com).
Dr. Chip Dodd
Voice of the Heart Center | |||
| 21 May 2024 | 20 - Feel Your Feelings - The Eight Core Emotions (Part 2) | 00:56:14 | |
The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (www.vothcenter.com).
Dr. Chip Dodd
Voice of the Heart Center | |||
| 16 Jan 2024 | Welcome to "Living With Heart" | 00:03:23 | |
Chip and Bryan briefly describe the "Living with Heart" podcast. The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) & The Voice of the Heart Center (www.vothcenter.com). Healthy people get help, and we would be honored to help you. | |||
| 20 Aug 2024 | 33 - The Six Freedoms For Healing Codependency | 00:52:42 | |
The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com).
Codependency is the loss or the sacrifice of:
Codependency is not being able to:
We are made for love; we are made to be connected.
In order to be accepted and loved by our significant caregivers, we often end up hiding our own needs. Examples: If I don’t like sports, my dad will not love me. If I don’t make good grades my mother will be so disappointed. If I have opinions that are different from my teachers, they will reject me. If I’m not artistic like my older brother, I won’t be as loved.
We end up acting a certain way or pretend to be someone we are not in order to be loved. We eventually begin to “believe” in the pretending rather than being our true selves. We slip into denial.
We perform for love instead of being ourselves.
God designed for us to:
In a codependency environment we end up:
Codependency becomes the belief that I can perform enough and do enough so that I can finally rest, trust, be believed, have my worth, and be valued.
Codependency is a disorder of distrust. You trust the anxiety. You don’t trust listening to your own fear and exposing it.
Sadly, if a codependent person stays stuck in their past and sOll believes feelings are the enemy, they will, no matter how much they are loved, never trust the love.
Codependency is bringing your “bucket of desire” into life, and your caregivers poking holes in the bottom of it so that in your future, no matter how much love gets poured into it, it goes right through it.
There’s not enough love; there’s not enough approval, there’s not enough trustworthiness because it all slips right through the holes in the bucket.
Codependency recovery is about repairing, or healing, the holes in your bucket (revision).
Codependents are always trying to find their fulfillment externally by withholding what’s happening in them internally.
The Voice of the Heart by Chip Dodd
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| 07 May 2024 | 18 - Living Fully in "The River" | 00:46:53 | |
The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (www.vothcenter.com).
Dr. Chip Dodd
Voice of the Heart Center | |||
| 28 May 2024 | 21 - Tell the Truth - to God and Self (Part 1) | 00:58:22 | |
The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (www.vothcenter.com).
Dr. Chip Dodd
Voice of the Heart Center | |||
| 03 Sep 2024 | 35 - Symptoms of Codependency | 00:40:13 | |
The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com).
The Boy & The Ogre: Finding Freedom from Codependency by Chip Dodd A story/workbook for helping codependents find freedom from codependency.
You are gifted, and there is a world in need of your gifts.
Loneliness is the biggest pain that people are facing now. What people need is to be known from the inside-out, rather than distracting ourselves from our loneliness (need for genuine relationship) through social media.
Diagnosing and Treating Co-Dependence by Timmen Cermak
5 Things God designed us to find fulfillment in:
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When we live our lives fully out of the 5 fulfilments, we are able to be healthy grownups who do what Jesus said in Matthew 7:7.
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” Matthew 7:7
Matthew 7:7 is for grownups; grownups are just children who have gotten older and who have remained fully present in their lives. Grownups are able to live out of their fully present lives.
Jesus encourages grownups to:
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| 20 Feb 2024 | 7 - Forming a Circle of Secure Relationships (Part 2) | 00:43:11 | |
The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (www.vothcenter.com).
Dr. Chip Dodd
Voice of the Heart Center | |||
| 12 Mar 2024 | 10 - The Need for Touch | 01:02:53 | |
The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com).
Touch is one of our essential needs.
It is important to be able to ask questions.
The Needs of the Heart by Chip Dodd
Touch is so vital that we cannot truly grow without it. When human beings are only cared for custodially, they can develop a condition called failure-to-thrive.
Babies and small children need to be “touched” appropriately and lovingly through:
Our needs never stop from birth to death.
Our toxic shame tells us that we “should” not have needs anymore. Examples:
Healthy touch creates a response called attunement. In attunement:
When you attune, you connect to others in a peaceful synchronized way, like night bugs singing a symphony.
Out of that connection, you are fueled to go attend to life’s tragedies.
This connection is called autonomy; it sets you free to make decisions, go take risks and possibly fail, because you have a safe place to go back to in order to be refueled. This place is called “home.”
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| 16 Apr 2024 | 15 - The Need for Freedom | 01:00:18 | |
The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (www.vothcenter.com).
Dr. Chip Dodd
Voice of the Heart Center | |||
| 27 Aug 2024 | 34 - How Our Need to Belong and Matter Influence Codependency | 00:43:01 | |
The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com).
The Boy & The Ogre: Finding Freedom from Codependency by Chip Dodd
God is a great garbage man; He wastes nothing in our lives.
Bring your child-heart to God and give Him your pain, suffering, and your struggle, and even your questions. God can deliver you. He delivers people through circumstances, prayer, His word, other people, and illumination of your heart.
“I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength,” Ephesians 1:18-19
Paul was a man who knew that to love, is to suffer. Therefore, he needed a place to take his suffering. Paul refers to God in this passage:
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-5
So, we can either choose to believe that while God is good, we still suffer; yet we have a place to take our suffering. We can take it to God, who cares for us. OR We will stifle suffering unnecessarily, and just live miserably.
The Boy & The Ogre: Finding Freedom from Codependency by Chip Dodd
“For as he thinks in his heart, so is he. ‘Eat and drink!’ he says to you, but his heart is not with you.” Proverbs 23:7 “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23
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| 13 Feb 2024 | 6 - The Need for Security (Part 1) | 01:04:19 | |
The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com).
“Be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ.” I Corinthians 11:1 (NASB)
If we’re going to imitate Christ, the number one strength that kept Jesus from ever needing to repent was His neediness.
We need to start with dependency and neediness as the triumph over the world.
Jesus never separated Himself from needing and depending on His Father.
“Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.” Mark 1:35 (NIV)
Jesus’ ultimate dependency was expressed in the Garden of Gethsemane where He poured out His humanity. He poured out His fear, sadness, hurt, loneliness, anger.… (Matthew 26:36-45)
Neediness is the key that brings us strength. If we will face our needs and hand them over to God and others to be met properly and legitimately, we will literally, through dependency, become independent.
We are created as emotional and spiritual creatures who are created to do one thing in life and that is to live fully through relationship; facing how you’re made; taking how you’re made to others (who are made the same way) and to God Who made you.
Needs of the Heart by Chip Dodd
The Three Movements - Feel your feelings; tell the truth about what is going on inside you; and hand it to God.
“Now what I am commanding you today is not too difficult for you or beyond your reach. It is not up in heaven, so that you have to ask, ‘Who will ascend into heaven to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey it?’ Nor is it beyond the sea, so that you have to ask, ‘Who will cross the sea to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey it?’ No, the word is very near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart so you may obey it.” Deuteronomy 30:11-14 (NIV)
The Process – Bringing how we are created to God, and letting Him be in control. God’s way of handling life, for us, is better than we can do! But giving it to the process (giving it to God) requires that we bring how we are created to God. That means, we bring our emotional experiences and spiritual search to the One who seeks our hearts.
Our hearts are in conflict when we trust the process. This conflict is ultimately between the reality of where we live and the truth of how God made us. The truth of how we are made requires that we remain vulnerable to relationship with others and God, in a reality that “punishes” vulnerability—rejects sadness, mocks fear, humiliates hurt, anaesthetizes loneliness, etc.
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| 19 Mar 2024 | 11 - The Need for Accomplishment | 00:50:31 | |
The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (www.vothcenter.com).
Dr. Chip Dodd
Voice of the Heart Center | |||
| 18 Jun 2024 | 24 - Trust the Process (Part 2) | 00:57:18 | |
The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (www.vothcenter.com).
Dr. Chip Dodd
Voice of the Heart Center | |||
| 14 May 2024 | 19 - Feel Your Feelings (Part 1) | 00:48:43 | |
The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (www.vothcenter.com).
Dr. Chip Dodd
Voice of the Heart Center | |||
| 02 Apr 2024 | 13 - The Need for Support (Surviving vs. Thriving) | 00:48:14 | |
The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (www.vothcenter.com).
Dr. Chip Dodd
Voice of the Heart Center | |||
| 16 Jan 2024 | 2 - How We Are Made: Introduction to Neediness | 00:43:34 | |
The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (www.vothcenter.com).
“Answer To Life: Do you like me? I Like You. Circle ‘Yes’ or ‘No’”
The brain is always asking, “Are you safe?” and “Do you care?”
“The Perfect Loss” by Chip Dodd Quote from Chapter 3, p. 51
I don’t see…so that I won’t feel…so that I won’t wind up being needy…so that I won’t wind up trusting that someone is going to risk or be with me in the midst of that…and then also I can’t talk about what is actually happening inside me.
Redemption, restoration, recreation, and recovery are real and can occur at any time. As long as there is breath, there is hope.
God’s first question is “Where are you?” Genesis 3:9
We are designed by God to be needy. Our hearts are bigger than our biochemistry.
Neediness is the key that unlocks the treasure trove of God’s blessings in our lives.
“The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who hear him; he hears their cry and saves them.” Psalm 145:18
“The LORD upholds all who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down.” Psalm 145:14
“…the word is very near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart so you may obey it.“ Deuteronomy 30:14
We are feeling creatures who can think, NOT thinking creatures who have to feel.
The heart takes precedence over everything.
Virginia Apgar Apgar Score
Will the baby cry out…feel? (feelings) Will the baby reach out their hands to the person they are looking for? (needs) Will the baby crave?
Babies come out of the womb looking for who is “looking” for them. They come out craving emotional and spiritual connection with their caregiver (usually their mother) before they ever seek biological food. They don’t come out of the womb seeking milk. They come out of the womb seeking the sustenance of emotional and spiritual connection to the being of another person. They come out craving relationship and connection.
Ask . Seek . Knock
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.” Matthew 7:7-8
Ask - articulate the feelings, needs, desires, and longings of your heart (a cry out.) Seek – (a reach out.) Knock – (crave.)
“And he said: ‘Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.’” Matthew 18:3
8 Feelings – Sad, Hurt, Fear, Anger, Shame, Guilt, Lonely, Glad Spiritual Root System – Feelings, Needs, Desire, Longings, Hope
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| 16 Jan 2024 | 1 - Introducing "Living with Heart" | 00:45:53 | |
The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (www.vothcenter.com).
Episode Highlights
Intro song “Spirit” by Judah & the Lion
“The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:29-31
God made you. You are created in His image. He designed you for a purpose. “You’ll never outsmart your design.”
Repentance is “coming home.”
Learn more about the Spiritual Root System
We’re made to live and live fully.
When you look at someone, you’re looking at yourself. We’re all made out of the same dust. The deeper the denial about that, the sicker a person becomes.
Dr. Chip Dodd
Voice of the Heart Center | |||