This vaccine is one of the most sought out vaccines and it would help millions of people throughout the world. Not to mention on the business side of things how it would monetarily reward the people or company who solved the puzzle. But here’s the deal, as of now there’s no research happening for the herpes vaccine. 

If you feel like the wind’s been taken out of your sails go watch or read the other episode about waiting for the herpes cure. I promise, having herpes is NOT the end of the world! 

According to an article published by Healthline, pharmaceutical companies are taking a break from the research. I’ll breakdown what the article has to say. You can also check it out for yourself. 

The pharma companies have a double-edged sword when it comes to herpes. There are two-thirds of the world population living with herpes and they would really benefit from a vaccine. This means there’s clearly a need but the problem lies in the nature of the viruses. It’s a very complicated virus and so, therefore, it will take multiple millions of dollars to perform the research and clinical trials.  

At this point, there's been nobody close to the finish line. In fact, the three companies were close to the clinical trial phase and they all three backed out and are now focusing on something different. So to break it down, there’s no clinical trial going on right now working towards a vaccine for herpes. 

Bummer, right?

And I’m sure you’re thinking how is it possible that there’s been research going on for years and millions of dollars spent how’s it possible to have nothing. I mean we have vaccines for HPV, Mesals, Mumps, Hepatitis, Chicken Pox, and the list goes on so why is Herpes such a medical enigma. 

Well here’s the deal. The virus is very complex. It’s not like other viruses that have a short incubation period and a person typically sees signs of infection rather soon upon being infected. 

According to Dr. William Schaffner, chair of the Department of Preventive Medicine at Vanderbilt University Medical Center in Tennessee The herpes virus is very different from the measles virus, for example,” said Schaffner. He explains the measles virus makes you sick in a relatively short period of time. Our immune system reacts quickly to it and is ready for the virus again should it appear in the future.

When it comes to being infected with herpes the virus doesn’t always show up. It has its own agenda. When you're initially infected the virus can lie dormant for months and even years or it can pop up. And then recurring outbreaks are hit and miss, there’s no concrete timeline and the virus just pops up when it wants. 

Also according to Dr. William, the herpes virus’s DNA is more complicated than the average virus. It’s because it goes dormant in our immune system similar to how many cancer cells do.  And because vaccines work by stimulating the human immune system it makes it difficult to inoculate for herpes. Basically, the target keeps moving and they don’t know where to aim. 

With the herpes virus being super complicated it makes the researcher difficult and very expensive. One of the companies that made it to the phase II clinical trial last year was Genocea Biosciences working on the GEN-003 herpes vaccine. They said they made a lot of progress but they cut the funding for the phase III funding and decided to focus on cancer research.

So there you have it! There have been some great attempts to create a vaccine and finding a solution to the gift that keeps on giving. My personal opinion is that there will be someone who finds the funding and put the right team together to find a vaccine. The thing is we just don’t know when it will be. Until then, don’t hold your breath and don’t get caught up in the negative thoughts of being diagnosed with herpes. Like I always say, it’s just a skin disease and that’s it. It pops up here and there but really its nothing worse than having a bad pimple on prom. 

Life With Herpes Details:

• Join the Secret Society 
• HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
• Shop the LWH Essentials
• Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm 

Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things  I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. 

Xoxo,

Alexandra

Just in case…

Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:

Need to talk confidentially about herpes? 

Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials

Are you social? 

Instagram

Facebook

This podcast episode features an interview with Monique Darnell, a licensed professional counselor and author of the "STD Mental Health Handbook." Our discussion focuses on the mental health and emotional aspects of dealing with a herpes diagnosis, including the stigma, shame, and trauma that can arise. Darnell shares her personal experiences and insights on how to approach self-acceptance, manage emotions like anger and resentment, and ultimately view a herpes diagnosis as an opportunity for growth and self-improvement rather than a life-defining setback. The podcast aims to provide a holistic, mental health-focused perspective on navigating the challenges of living with an STD, drawing on Darnell's expertise and lived experiences.

✏️DETAILS FROM THIS EPISODE✏️ 

📚 *STD Mental Health Handbook *

A workbook that brings awareness, experience, perception and feelings to receiving an STD diagnosis. Focusing on the connection of emotions experiences in a life-changing event

👉https://amzn.to/4cUN72I

☁Monique's Website 

mrdcasolutions.com

☁Monique's Instagram Page

@moniquerdarnell

📚Other books by Monique A Guide to Healthy Relationships, a Single's Ministry Part I and From Fact to Faith

Will herpes impact your child's health?

There’s been a lot of parents or people who want to become parents  recently asked about their kids. When were diagnosed with herpes were worried that we could potentially pass this to someone we love and of course accidentally to our kids. 

I want to cover the facts and how you can prevent transmission to your kids. 

Over the years I’ve had people reach out to me with questions and of course stories when it comes to herpes and their kids. I’ve had parents not hug or kiss their kids because they didn’t want to pass it to their child. Or I had a dad say he never got in the swimming pool with his kids because he was worried his kids would catch it. THe stories go on and on and it truly saddens me to hear that parents are missing out on such tender moments with their children. 

So let’s get down to it and talk about herpes and your kids. 

Let's start at the beginning and cover what herpes is and how it’s transmitted. I go into this in real depth here but here's the cliff notes. There’s HSV 1 which is typically oral and HSV 2 which is typically genital however they are interchangeable and they both can go to either region. If your infected only orally then you can not transmit herpes genitally and vise versa. Herpes is most contagious via skin to skin but also the virus can be spread by sharing glasses, utensils, towels and washcloths or anything else that you can think of that would come in contact with the virus and then be shared with someone else. Again. I cover this a ton in other episodes so go check them out. 

Let’s start at the very beginning of your child's life, and talk about the risks of having a mother who’s infected with herpes. I cover this also in other episodes so you can go here for the full breakdown. If the mother does not have a herpes outbreak at the time of delivery  and she delivers vaginally then there’s a less than 1% chance of the baby contracting herpes. The good news is this is very low and it’s important that you communicate your herpes diagnosis with your doctor and come up with a birth plan that works for you. 

Ok so what happens if the baby contracts herpes at birth? Well it can be dangerous because the baby doesn’t have the immune system and the strength to really fight it. Here’s a list of the complications that can occur if a newborn picks up the virus. They can be severe and life-threatening symptoms, including:

• Fatal organ damage, including the liver, lungs, and heart
• Serious viral infections, such as viral meningitis
• Recurrent sores on the skin, eyes, genitals, or mouth
• Blindness
• Deafness
• Seizures

Something to make sure you as a parent are aware of is this is for both HSV 1 & 2. In other words if someone comes to visit your baby and has a cold sore on their mouth and kisses your baby in the hospital your baby has just been exposed to the herpes virus.  The best way to keep your newborn safe is ask all visiting relatives to wash their hands and if someone has an active outbreak to ask them to please not touch your baby for the risk of transmission is too high. 

Now let’s move on past newborn stage and to your kids life. Of course, we don’t want our kids to get herpes nor do we want to be the ones to give it to them but it can happen and guess what. Your kid will be just fine. 

Yes, it hurts and it’s embarrassing and it’s annoying but let’s face it. The majority of the population has herpes. You can’t blame yourself nor do you want to miss out on normal parental activities with your child. 

The only risk that is really associated with your child getting herpes is there’s a very low chance the herpes virus can cause Encephalitis. Encephalitis is an inflammation of the brain and it can be quite dangerous if it goes untreated. If this occurs, you’ll want to get your child into see a doctor ASAP. The inflammation of the brain is more common in children and the elderly because they don’t always have the immune system to fight it off. 

By informing you of this information I don’t want you to feel like you can never become a parent, never touch a child and of course heaven forbid touch your child. That would be ridiculous and just so sad. The point in me clarifying this is to let you know what actually happens so that you’re aware but also know that these risks are so low that it’s not something to be too concerned with. 

Remember the story about the dad who never got in the swimming pool with his kids because he didn’t want to pass the herpes virus to his kids. Well, in my opinion there was far worse damage done by not swimming with your kids then potentially exposing them. Oh and by the way, you can not pass herpes in the pool. Then remember the mom who hadn't held, cuddled or kissed her child in two years because she was worried about passing herpes. Well again, in my opinion that does far worse damage than potentially transmitting herpes to your kid because you smother them with love and oops they accidentally got herpes. 

If you’re a parent take this information and make decisions on what best suits you, you’re lifestyle and if you feel inclined, talk to your doctor. I just don’t want you to miss out or feel like you’re not able to love your kids the way you want to. Herpes is just a silly skin condition that has a horrible stigma attached to it. THAT IS IT!

Life With Herpes Details:

• Join the Secret Society 
• HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
• Shop the LWH Essentials
• Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm 

Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things  I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. 

Xoxo,

Alexandra

Just in case…

Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:

Need to talk confidentially about herpes? 

Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials

Are you social? 

Instagram

Facebook

This is something that I felt was so important to put together and I really wish it was something that I could have walked away with when I was diagnosed. I wish that Dr. would have said, "there is this great online community called Life with Herpes and there is an Outbreak Toolkit that has everything you need to know about herpes.”

Before getting herpes or a STD/STI I was terrified of getting one, especially herpes. I mean look at what the stigma says about people who have herpes. They are disgusting, they have slept around, they are whores that got this because they did something wrong and now they are paying for it and it can go on and on. Obviously I don’t beige this stigma and neither should you.

These wellness products are made to fight herpes outbreaks. We created them especially for people living with herpes, who want to deal with their outbreaks in a more natural ways. They can also be used to support your body when you're on antivirals.
Overall, they took about a year to get formulated and I'm so exited to share them with you!

Monolaurin is becoming more and more popular among people looking for a healthy lifestyle. Coconuts and palm kernel oil are almost the only source of it, apart from human breast milk. Later telling us how important actually is for humans.

Monolaurin has the ability to break the outer shell of enveloped viruses, meaning it can actually help us fight those viruses way better and faster. And since herpes is one of the enveloped viruses, it can do a lot for our immune system in that sense.

148: What’s It Like To Date Someone With Herpes With Alexandra Harbushka

Life With Herpes.com has been used as a resource for people who are dating someone with herpes or want to date someone with herpes. The good news is now all the information is at our fingertips and there’s a community there to help. 

This situation of liking someone with herpes comes up a lot. It’s not as uncommon as you think considering that one out of sex people have HS2 and two out of three have HSV1. There are many couples where one has the virus and the other does not. So don’t think you have to find someone who has you’re the same virus. 

Anyway, when you’re in the shoes of not having herpes and you’re partner has “the herpes talk” the ball is now in you’re court. Here’s the great news, your partner cares about you and wanted to be open and honest and told you. It’s a really hard conversation for us with herpes to have so make sure you acknowledge that tender conversation. 

With the information you’ve now received it’s up to you to take that information and decide how you want to process it. There’s a couple of ways this could go.

1. It’s a this is awesome because I have herpes too
2. It’s an immediate no 
3. It’s a maybe and let me learn more
4. It’s an I don’t care  

Ok the obvious two best cases are either if you both have herpes or if you just don’t care. But I’m guessing because you’re reading this you do care and you don’t have herpes. 

Here’s what I’m going to suggest you do. It’s going to be important that you have all the information you need. I recommend going to our FAQ page where we have just about every question imaginable. Read through there and get your questions answered. It’s important to know about the herpes virus and how it will affect or not affect your life. I’ve had people break up with people because they assumed one thing or another about their herpes virus and come to find out they actually had it too and didn’t know it was the same thing. So, the moral of the story education is knowledge. 

Also, this is a great time for you and your potential partner to go and get tested. You never know, you may have herpes and don’t even know it. It happens all the time. Oh and if you get cold sores..yeah, that’s herpes. So it’s important that you get tested and know where you both stand before you get between the sheets. 

At the end of the day, herpes or not, having sex with someone is a big deal. Yes, we’re in the casual sex era but it’s still a big deal and with that being said coming in contact with the wrong viruses can change your life and have a major impact on your health. So, take this seriously and go get tested with your partner.  

Now you have to decide if this person is worth the risk or not. In any relationship, there is “something” that you have to make a decision on. There’s something that you weren’t planning on and you get to make that decision if it’s worth it for you. 

Just remember to fall in love like you’ve never been hurt. 

Life With Herpes Details:

• Join the Secret Society 
• HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
• Shop the LWH Essentials
• Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm 

Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things  I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. 

Xoxo,

Alexandra

Just in case…

Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:

Need to talk confidentially about herpes? 

Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials

Are you social? 

Instagram

Facebook

We’ve added some of my favorites like tea tree oil, citrus oils and chamomile oil mixed with some soothing oils and my favorite ingredient CBD. Tea Tree oil is known for being anti-inflammatory and is known as an antiviral agent that can assist with the recovery of open wounds or sores. Citrus oils such as orange and lemon add balancing and calming properties and promote skin health. This moisturizing oil supports skin health, wound healing, meanwhile balancing and calming your nervous system. Tea Tree, chamomile, and citrus oils combine together to leave you feeling renewed and smelling fresh.

In this episode Alexandra Harbushka interviews Dr. Aziz Gazipura the world’s leading confidence expert. He teaches people how to learn confidence so they can eliminate self-doubt, hesitation and social anxiety and master conversations, accelerate in their careers, and create deeply fulfilling relationships.  On this episode Dr. Aziz gives dating tips when it comes to dating with confidence even with a herpes diagnosis. 

For direct link to the TellYour Partner Toolkit click HERE 

To Connect with Alexandra - https://www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka/

Read More on Life With Herpes HERE 

For Detailed Show Notes click HERE 

Subscribe to the Life With Herpes Newsletter  click HERE

With herpes being so common it’s actually rare to find someone without it. I hear time and time again from people who are just diagnosed with herpes, or if they haven’t processed their herpes diagnosis, say that their partner should go find someone without herpes. Or when a rejection happens the person is thinking that it's going to be way easier to find someone else without herpes.

Welcome to the LIfe With Herpes show. Today I sat down with one of our Life With Herpes Secret Society members, Jenna Roberts.  This was a huge deal for both of us and probably a bigger deal for Jenna. This is the first time I’ve had one of our community members on the show (yay) and this was Jenna’s way of stepping into her power and owning her herpes diagnosis! 

Jenna talks about her herpes diagnosis and how she was emotionally devastated when she got the news from her doctor. She says she was mortified and filled with shame and embarrassment. In her mind there was no way she was ever going to get over this shameful secret and there was no way she’d ever be able to tell anyone that she has herpes. Jenna talks about how she tried to ignore that she had herpes by covering up her emotions which created a destructive lifestyle and the misery just continued to build. 

Hear about her journey to acceptance and empowerment and more! 

To Connect with Alexandra - https://www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka/

Read More on Life With Herpes HERE 

For Detailed Show Notes click HERE 

Subscribe to the Life With Herpes Newsletter  click HERE

Oh and don’t forget to subscribe to the Life With Herpes Show

It’s totally possible and your dating life can be totally normal. In general we put so much on our plate to date. Things like: he has to be the one, or I’m so tired of dating immature people, are there any good ones left out there, ugh, here we go again and so on. We females put pressure on ourselves to find a good one and settle down, it’s what society expects from us. Regardless there is pressure from all angles to date and find someone.

When you have an itch, a tingle or maybe slept with someone that you know has herpes the automatic OMG phase kicks in. It turns to panic and your mind will take you down the rabbit hole of horrible thoughts. Oh and then you turn to google. PLEASE, whatever you do...don’t turn to google. You’re in the right spot to find out more answers and not see scary photos on the internet. 

There are 3 basic ways to confirm you have herpes. But before we break it down let’s talk a little bit about symptoms and what that feels like. I talk about this in detail here so you can go check it out too. 

Symptoms can be slightly different for everyone and sometimes symptoms can pop up immediately after a person comes in contact with the virus and then sometimes it can take, months, weeks or years.  But her are some common symptoms:

• Blistery sores
• Burning when you pee if you have sores
• Trouble peeing if you have sores covering your urethra
• Itching or pain around your genitals
• Sometimes the blisters can blee
• Swollen, tender glands in the pelvic area, throat, or under the arms
• Fever
• Chills
• Fatigue
• Headache
• General run-down feelings
• Achy, flu-like feelings

Also if you’re experiencing any, all or some of this. STOP RIGHT NOW AND GO GET TESTED! No reason to keep yourself in this space of anxiety and freaking out mode. 

Here are the 3 way’s to know you have herpes:

Visually

So this is pretty self-explanatory. If you see bumps, and they’re painful and you have flu-like symptoms then most likely it's a herpes outbreak. A way to diagnose by looking at the area visually is called a clinical diagnosis. This is when a medical professional examiner looks at the symptoms. The great news with this is it can be done through a Tela Health company like HerpAlert, where you don’t need to even leave your house. The potential downside is there’s no way to know what strain you have if it’s HSV 1 or HSV 2. This is something that may not be important to you but you can always have a blood test done in the future and get that all sorted out. 

Blood test 

Having a blood test done can be helpful to tell you what strain you have, HSV 1 or HSV 2, but it doesn’t tell you where you have it or how long you’ve had it. The way this works is the blood test is looking for antibodies for the herpes virus. This can take some time for it to show up in your system. So in some cases, people who have herpes will go in for a blood test and the antibodies have not made it into your system yet. In this case, this person would have a blood test that’s negative for herpes, however, if they came back in a few weeks they would test positive. It can sound confusing but if you get a positive test result for herpes with a blood test then you can pretty much guarantee that you’re positive.

Culture test

So this test only works when there’s an outbreak. When there’s no outbreak or viral shedding happening you’re going to test negative for herpes.  In other words, you have to have a culture or a sample from the sore to see the live virus under the microscope. Now you can get a false reading if you were just exposed and the virus hasn’t had time to settle in or if you’re on the tail end of your outbreak and the healing or scabbing has started. 

So as we talk through all of this if you’re in this freak out mode I want you to stop what you’re doing and get tested. I recommend using HerpAlert because they specialize in herpes and are a telehealth company but it doesn’t matter just go get tested.  But what the important thing is to do is talk to your doctor and tell them how long you’re symptoms have been going on. Like I mentioned earlier, you may have just been exposed so getting a blood test won’t help you at all. And if you have sores or blisters but you’ve waited too long to get in and have a culture test done then you’re going to get a negative result. Tell your doctor everything and let them decide the best way to proceed. 

And again...I’m beating a dead horse but please do yourself a favor and if you think you have herpes then go get tested. Just don’t think it’ll go away or think that maybe it’s some weird skin rash. You owe it to yourself to treat your body right and get the proper diagnosis. This way you can get the antiviral and get onto your path of recovery soon. 

Life With Herpes Details:

• Join the Secret Society 
• HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
• Shop the LWH Essentials
• Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm 

Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things  I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. 

Xoxo,

Alexandra

Just in case…

Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:

Need to talk confidentially about herpes? 

Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials

Are you social? 

Instagram

Facebook

There are 4 common areas where the HSV1 or HSV2 virus can go; oral, genital, on your hands and in your eyes.

HSV-2 infection is more common among women than among men; the percentages of those infected during 2015-2016 were 15.9% versus 8.2% respectively, among 14 to 49-year-olds.
So, what are the common genital herpes symptoms in women?

Now it's Tuesday and I know something is wrong. This is the same day as it was eleven years ago. By now the blisters had fully shown up and I was in unbelievable pain. I felt so sick and could not imagine what was going on. Today was supposed to be just a regular physical but instead it turned into the day to go to the doctors and get a resolution.

When I was first diagnosed with herpes I'd wondered what life with herpes would look like for 11 years. At the time, I didn't think that a happy life was even possible. I mean, I had herpes. In today's video I walk you through what it's like living with herpes 11 years later.

I was stuck in the Eeyore Phase for 2 years. It was awful, painful, yet something that I needed to go through.
With all that being said, I have no desire for you to go through this PTSD for 2 years and that is why I’ve created this community, platform and all the content.

This is something that we all ask as soon as we are diagnosed. When we find out that the answer is no. We then ask, why not?

There are essential oils that can help with wound repair, soothe skin, help with pain, that are antiviral and even disrupt the herpes virus. Add other calming and nourishing ingredients to help with anti- inflammatory and beneficial outcomes and here comes Rescue Balm!

If you’ve just gotten herpes and you are in a ton of pain physically and emotionally, I know what you are going through. 

Sometimes when I look back I think it’s the physical pain that is the most. And then there are other times I think, no, it’s the emotional pain. Regardless they are both there and you are probably feeling something that you have never felt before. 

First of all, I want you to take a deep breath and know that everything is going to be okay. I know it doesn’t feel that way but you will get through this. Remember, every storm runs out of rain. 

Now that we’ve received the diagnosis we’re living with herpes. There are probably so many questions running through your head and not to mention they are scary.

This especially happens when you are first diagnosed with herpes. You hang up the phone from your doctor and then are like now what. Who do I talk to? What do I do? The worst thing is to start googling herpes and looking at the pictures. Eek! And then the second worse thing is to sit in your worry and let it consume you.

I just opened up my schedule and added more days. I’m here for you Monday - Thursday.

Food is way more important than we think. It has to ability to heal your body or make you sick. This was something that I didn’t really realize until I was diagnosed with herpes. I mean I always tried to eat healthy and more or less I was healthy but it wasn’t until I got herpes that I completely turned myself around and started really caring what was going in my body.

Eleven years ago I was diagnosed with genital herpes.
This year in 2022 falls on the same days of the week as in 2011. I've shared things here and there but I've never walked you through exactly what I did and how I felt. Share what I can remember and the good, the bad and the ugly. My intention for this week is to bring awareness to herpes: your life moves on and you forget how big of a deal it is. Talk you through the exact week 11 years ago, build awareness and hand hold you through your diagnosis. Reconnect so that you know you are not alone.

This is one of our biggest fears when we find out we have herpes. The last thing we want is to pass it to someone else and have them experience what we went through. I mean it’s physically painful and emotionally painful. 

One of the aspects I like to bring up is normally when we’re diagnosed with herpes it came to us by surprise. Either our partner didn’t tell us or our partner didn’t know. Either way it’s a surprise. So when we’re diagnosed we’re in shock wondering how this happened, we’re physically in pain and want some relief and then we’re pissed! We’re so angry at our partners for not disclosing or not telling us. 

Moving forward when we’re in a new relationship and going to become sexually active with a partner who doesn’t have herpes the transmission is a huge fear! I get it and it’s a valid concern. 

Personally, I’ve never given a partner herpes so I can’t speak from personal experience. But I do know that this was something I was extremely worried about in a past relationship. I can remember taking the antiviral before going over to his house because I’d get so worried that if I felt something or a tingle then it would be the onset of an outbreak. I would totally stress myself out over it. Maybe it was because it was my first relationship with a new partner or maybe it was because he and I didn’t communicate that much about it. I’m not too sure. 

Here’s what I’ve learned going forward with my husband as well as what I tell members in our community. My husband, Bill, is very aware that I have herpes. I mean it’s what I do for a living so clearly he knows. Lol. But in all seriousness he knows what the risks are, he knows what herpes is all about and he trusts me to have a conversation with him letting him know if and when I have an outbreak. The bottom line is it’s his decision to have sex and it’s his dicision to take that risk. 

This is what I want you to work with. If you’ve disclosed to your partner and he or she knows that you have herpes and you both were in agreement of the best ways to prevent transmission for example condoms or antiviral etc and the transmission still occurred then you have to let go of that guilt. You told them, you both decided on the best method and it still happened. At the end of the day it was their decision and you didn’t make it for them. 

I like to use the analogy of a car. So let’s say you’re the perfect driver. You get you oil changed, you have new tires, your car is cared for and up to the safety standards. Then you as the driver wear your seat belt, are not under the influence, not using your cell phone and following all the traffic rules. Just because you do all of that does not prevent you from getting in an accident. Yes, you were doing everything you could do to reduce your risk but it’s still possible for a car to run a red light or a car to forget to stop  or whatever. Basically this is the same as the possibility of transmission of herpes. You’re doing everything you can to protect your partner but he or she took on the risk and the transmission still happen. 

Forgive yourself, communicate with your partner and know that it was their choice. 

Life With Herpes Details:

• Join the Secret Society 
• HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
• Shop the LWH Essentials
• Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm 

Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things  I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. 

Xoxo,

Alexandra

Just in case…

Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:

Need to talk confidentially about herpes? 

Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials

Are you social? 

Instagram

Facebook

This is one of the most pressing questions and the answer often leads to heartache. I hear questions like this daily saying…

“How is there no cure to herpes?”

“Why is there no vaccine when we have a vaccine for practically everything else?”

“When will there be a vaccine?”

“Will there be a cure?”

“Is there something that will prevent outbreaks permanently?”

Here’s the deal. I get it, I’ve felt this way and wondered about it too. The truth is don’t hold your breath and also don’t let this hope of a vaccine hold you back from living your life. 

I hear many people who are in our Secret Society say things like, “oh I’ll just wait for the vaccine before I start dating.” Ok, this sounds like a great idea and it sounds like you’re being a responsible sexually active adult however it also sounds like you’re putting you’re happy in the hands of a vaccine. And that is on the verge of the victim situation and if you know me, I’m huge on not being a victim to herpes. 

Here’s the deal, herpes is a skin disease that causes uncomfortable blisters from time to time. That’s all! It’s nothing more than a dramatized pimple. It’s not a scapegoat for you to become a recluse and become asexual and never go on a date or fall in love or get married or have children or whatever it is you want in life. It’s just an uncomfortable bump that pops up and then goes away a couple of days later. 

The herpes vaccine is almost like Uber. Now hear me out… Before Uber, our only way of transportation besides a private driver or public transportation and of course, mom, was calling a Taxi. Well, as soon as Uber began to transform the way, everyone gets around now the taxi drivers have been in an uproar. Basically Uber has taken their income and their lively hood. Some cities, such as Las Vegas, outlawed Uber and other’s did a good job at keeping them at bay to protect the taxi unions but eventually, convenience wone and the demand was too high. So what did this mean for the taxi drivers, they either could sit in their cab and complained to other cab drivers because they weren’t driving or they could become Uber drivers too. Where I’m going with this and the whole herpes thing is the choice of becoming a victim and waiting for a vaccine before you can live your life is total BS. It’s no different than the taxi driver just sitting on the side of the road with his meter light on saying he’s available for a ride. 

Will there be a cure or a vaccine? I’m sure there will be. I mean we can put a man on the moon, find cures to horrible diseases and break the sound barrier with our jets. It’s just a matter of the right people, the right technology and the other biggie… money. Until then, live your life with herpes and don’t let it hold you back. 

Life With Herpes Details:

• Join the Secret Society 
• HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
• Shop the LWH Essentials
• Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm 

Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things  I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. 

Xoxo,

Alexandra

Just in case…

Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:

Need to talk confidentially about herpes? 

Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials

Are you social? 

Instagram

Facebook

So there are two types of herpes. Well, actually there are way more but in this setting we really only care about two types. Herpes type 1 and herpes type 2.

So what are the differences and why is it important that we talk about it?

Herpes has been around since humans have walked this earth. The fact is we have to learn to  live with this virus. What’s odd about this is as a culture we’ve decided that this virus is dirty and one of the worst things we could catch. With that being said, as a society we really don’t even know that much about herpes and it’s probably because we choose not to. I mean, we’ve made this herpes thing out to be worse than the boogie monster under your bed. 

With that being said whether you have herpes or not there’s someone close to you that you love who does so here’s 3 things you need to know. 

⅔ people have HSV  1 and  ⅙  people have HSV 2

So with that being said the majority of the population has herpes. The funny thing is that when you get herpes you become the majority not the majority. We’re made to believe that because we have herpes we’re the only person in the world who has herpes and no bode ever will understand or want to be with us. But the truth is that 84% of the population has herpes. 

You can transmit it without an outbreak (yikes)

This is very important to know. The old saying was that you could only transmit herpes if you had an outbreak. Well has science has evolved and we’ve learned more about viral shedding, we now know that it’s possible to transmit herpes without an outbreak. In fact, about 70 percent of transmissions occur during asymptomatic periods, says James Whiteside, an obstetrician/gynecologist at the University of Cincinnati College of Medicine.

Yes, when you have an outbreak you’re the  most contagious and when you don’t have an outbreak you’re the least contgouse. But there’s this thing called viral shedding and when that occurs you’re contagious. Here’s the catch, the person doesn’t know when viral shedding occurs. There’s no signs or symptoms of an outbreak. So this is why it’s very important that you disclose to your partner about your herpes diagnosis. I go way more into detail on viral shedding here. 

You can have a sex life

We all think that our sex life is now over because we have herpes. That is so far from the truth. Just because you have herpes does not mean that you’re less desirable or need to become celebate for the rest of your life. All that having herpes means is that you have to have a conversation with your partner about having herpes. Both you and your partner need to come to an agreement and decide what best methods you want to use to prevent transmission. That’s it. I talk a ton about sex and herpes here, here, and here.  

At the end of the day, I want to make sure that we know how common herpes is and how we’re so not alone because we have herpes. Also, that having herpes does not need to change your life or make you feel like you need to take a back seat to your dreams. All that herpes means is that you get an outbreak here and there and when that happens it’s a reminder for you to take a little better care of yourself. 

I’d love to hear what you think so feel free to reach out. 

Your dating life is not over now that you have herpes. Promise!!! Having herpes or not rejection happens and that’s okay and it’s part of life. I disclosed to guys that I was interested in and got rejected, I also disclosed as way to get out of having sex and that totally backfired and then I’ve disclosed and it’s been no problem.

Here me out on this one. I know you’re not believing me if you were just diagnosed with herpes. And I didn’t see it that way at all back in 2011. I’ve talked to thousands of people who have been diagnosed with herpes and it always starts out the same way. It starts out as, my life is over and how do I cure this. I’ve talked to people who are suicidal, (here’s the hotline if this is where you’re at 800-273-8255). Basically, I’ve seen all levels of devastation from a herpes diagnosis. 

One of the common questions I get from the community has to do with oral sex. Oral sex is kind of left out of the equasion when we’re talking about sex, sex education or sexual health. Typically what comes to mind when we talk about sex is just the plane old hederosexual vaginal sex. And then when we talk about safe sex or even in sex ed classes, oral sex is kinda just left out. It’s like it’s not really considered sex.  

Ok so here’s the deal, you can get herpes from having oral sex! 

This might be an oh sh!the moment for you or it’s a moment that explains it all. Regardless we need to talk about oral sex and how herpes is just as contagious with oral sex as it is with regualr old sex. 

Before you panic I’m going to cut to the point and say that yes, you can still give and recieve oral sex with your herpes diagnosis but here’s the deal you’re still putting your partner at risk. Let me explain.

Just a quick herpes 101, so herpes is contagious by skin to skin transmission. That means that if someone has herpes on their mouth, either HSV 1 or HSV 2, and they use their  mouth to come into contact with someone who does not have herpes then they have just potentially transmitted the virus. The same goes for genital herpes, if someone has genital herpes, either HSV 1 or HSV 2, and their genitals come into contact with someone who does not have the virus then they have potentially put their partner at risk. 

Here’s how herpes is NOT transmitted. If someone has oral herpes and does not use their mouth to come into contact with someone. So basically you can have vaginal or anal sex you are not putting your partner at risk. Or the flip if you have genital herpes you can use you rmouth all you want and you are not putting your partner at risk. 

Just because you have the herpes virus in your body it doesn’t mean that your entire body is contagious. It’s just the area where you get outbreaks. Also, this is very important to bring up that just because you have HSV 1 it does not mean that it’s oral herpes and just because you have HSV 2 it does not mean you have genital herpes. I go into details here about it. 

So back to oral sex and herpes. Let’s be clear and break it down. If you have oral herpes and perform oral sex then you are putting  your partner at risk of getting genital herpes. On the flip side if you have oral hereps you can recive oral sex and not worry that you will transmit it to your partner. 

Here are ways to have oral sex even though you have herpes. 

1. First and foremost you need to tell your partner. Cold sores are herpes and can be transmitted to your partner and you can give them genialt herpes. After you’ve talked about this with your partner then the both of you can decide what you want to do moving forward. 
2. To protect your partner and yourself for that matter you guys can decide to use dental dams or condoms to reduce the transmission risk 

Once you have talked to your partner and you both have a game plan then enjoy. In my personal relationship with my husband we both give and recive oral sex and do not use condoms or dental dams. It’s because we’re both aware of the risks and we’re both ok with the outcomes. If I’m feeling like maybe something is up then we don’t do it, it’s as simple as that. 

Here's the deal and why I want to talk about this. It’s not to scare you and make you feel like you can never give or recieve oral sex again. Please don’t put yourself in that position. It’s not fair to you or your partner. What I want you to know is that oral sex is sex and you can give or recieve STI’s  wich includeds herpes just as easily as you can having sex. Infact, in my opinion you’re more at risk with oral sex becase we’re not taught about this in sexed and when we don’t have a condom we typically turn to oral sex for an alturnative. I want you to know the facts so that you and your partner can move forward with safe sex practices that work for the both of you. 

Life With Herpes Details:

• Join the Secret Society 
• HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
• Shop the LWH Essentials
• Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm 

Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things  I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. 

Xoxo,

Alexandra

Just in case…

Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:

Need to talk confidentially about herpes? 

Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials

Are you social? 

Instagram

Facebook

In this episode Bill Gaylord, my husband opens up about what it was like for me to disclose, date and now be married to someone who had herpes. He shares his initial thoughts on herpes and how it plays a role in our marriage. 

For direct link to The Life With Herpe Retreat https://www.lifewithherpes.com/retreat and for the Tell Your Partner Toolkit click HERE  

To Connect with Alexandra - https://www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka/

Read More on Life With Herpes HERE 

For Detailed Show Notes click HERE 

Subscribe to the Life With Herpes Newsletter  click HERE

In this episode titled "4 Things I'm Doing to Uplevel My Life Despite Having Herpes," Alexandra Harbushka shares four key strategies for improving overall well-being while living with herpes. Firstly, she emphasizes the importance of prioritizing sleep, suggesting techniques such as avoiding screens before bedtime and wearing blue light glasses.

Next, she discusses the significance of nutrition, including the benefits of consuming whole foods, avoiding certain oils high in omega-6 fatty acids, and opting for organic choices to minimize exposure to glyphosate. 

The importance of regular exercise and supporting the nervous system through techniques like Biofield Tuning are also highlighted. Biofield Tuning, a sound therapy technique, is explained as a method for addressing physical, mental, and emotional imbalances by working with the body's electrical system. Through these practices, the speaker aims to enhance their overall quality of life despite the challenges posed by living with herpes.

You can learn more about the supplements mentioned in the video here

https://www.lifewithherpes.com/monolaurin

And learn about Elisabeth Kristof and her work on healing the nervous system here, as well as join the community for healing your nervous system.

https://go.lifewithherpes.com/sp1-4964

Learn more about Alexandra and her work on her website

https://www.lifewithherpes.com/start-here

The herpes test is not included in the STI panel. So even if you’re a responsible sexually active adult and you ask your doctor for every STI test, most likely herpes will not be included in the herpes test.

Not including the herpes test on the STI panel is part of the problem on why there are so many people getting herpes, why so many people don’t know they have it and why we have a huge ugly stigma around people who have herpes.

👉Herpes diagnosis
Get a quick, confidential diagnosis here: http://bit.ly/herpalertdiagnosis (use promo code “lifewithherpes” to save 10%)

You get the call from your doctor saying you have herpes and they’ll fill your prescription. 

Eek… right?

Here’s the deal. Take the antiviral. Chances are you’re in pain and feel horrible and all you want is for your outbreak to go away. Getting that antiviral in your system ASAP is the best thing you can do. In fact, the soon you get it  in your system on the onset of an outbreak, the sooner your outbreak will clear up. I’ve heard of people being too embarrassed to go to the pharmacist to pick up the antiviral, don’t be. Seriously they medication will be a god send and get you feeling better. 

A quick note, however, you don’t  need the antiviral to recover. Unlike having say strep throat or some other type of bacterial infection where you need an antibiotic to get better you don’t need the antiviral your outbreak will clear up on it’s own but it will take a lot longer.  Also, a quick disclosure, herpes is a viral infection so you will never get rid of it. Taking the antiviral does not “cure” you or get rid of herpes. It just clears up the current infection you have right now. If you want more information on herpes you can go here where I break it way down. 

Let’s cover herpes medications and break them down into 2 categories. A pill and a topical cream.

The Antiviral Pills:

1. Acyclovir (brand name Zovirax): The oldest antiviral medication for herpes is acyclovir. It has been available since 1985 in pill form. Acyclovir has been shown to be safe in people who have used it continuously (every day) for as long as 10 years.
   
   
2. Valacyclovir (brand name Valterx): A newer drug, valacyclovir, actually uses acyclovir as its active ingredient. This medication delivers acyclovir more efficiently so that the body absorbs much of the drug, which has the advantage of taking the medication fewer times during the day.
   
   
3. Famciclovir (brand name Famvir): Famciclovir uses penciclovir as its active ingredient to stop HSV from replicating. Like valacyclovir, it is well absorbed, persists for a longer time in the body, and can be taken less frequently than acyclovir.
   
   

The Topical Antiviral:

1. Acyclovir ointment (brand name Zovirax®)
   
   
2. Penciclovir cream (brand name Denavir®)
   
   

Both work to speed up the healing process and reduce the viral activity. These topical drugs are put directly on the lesions themselves, but can also be used at the onset of prodrome.

As you’ve seen me mention “branded” and “generic” basically what that means is the brand name was typically what the drug companies came out with when the drug came on the market. And the generic has the same ingredients and works in the same way but does not carry the brand name. Usually branded drugs are more expensive and generic are less expensive. It doesn’t really matter which one you take and they will do the trick.  Of course, if you’re having side effects or issues with one drug or the other then you’ll want to talk to your doctor and have him or her prescribe another option. 

Also, other questions I get are about why one drug over the other drug etc. A lot of time it has to do with your insurance and which one they will cover as well as which one your doctor prefers. Again, if you have issues with one or your outbreaks are not clearing up then talk to your doctor and see what can be done. The good news here is that you have options!

Life With Herpes Details:

• Join the Secret Society 
• HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
• Shop the LWH Essentials
• Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm 

Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things  I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. 

Xoxo,

Alexandra

Just in case…

Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:

Need to talk confidentially about herpes? 

Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials

Are you social? 

Instagram

Facebook

There is nothing that prepares you for the phone call you get from your doctor, or the email or even the in visit check up when your doctor says, “you have herpes”. 

Most of us are shocked, deer in the headlights, frozen, and probably end up crying. 

There are a ton of myths and misinformation out there when it comes to herpes and actually living with herpes. We all have had our preconceived notions and ideas of what someone with herpes looks like, acts like and how he or she got herpes. We all made jokes at it and believed that it would never happen to us.

Cure Advocacy is the only patient advocacy organization globally working towards the cure, treatment and prevention of Herpes. They exist to empower both patients and healthcare providers to learn to advocate for themselves and to know that change is possible! Visit www.herpescureadvocacy.com to receive your copy of the Herpes Cure Pipeline 3.0 - a comprehensive resource of all clinical trials for new therapies for HSV.

0:00 Introduction
02:00 Can herpes be serious
04:40 Are you going to have serious consequences because of herpes 06:07 Why herpes hasn't got enough attention to develop a cure or vaccine
11:24 Cure vs. vaccine and the development
18:28 What's holding up the research and better treatment of herpes virus
20:04 Is it really the big pharma that do not want a cure for herpes
23:00 HIV & AIDS vs.
Herpes 29:00 What can you do help with the herpes cure
34:19 How the world is starting to change towards herpes
37:00 Any last words from Herpes Cure Advocacy

If your first outbreak was anything like mine you’re wondering like me: how people could not know they had herpes or at least something going on down there.

This was the first product that we came out with. You guys were asking for something that was over the counter, natural and could help speed up recovery of an oral herpes outbreak.

Our organic, lip balm has ingredients known to treat herpes outbreaks, lessen inflammation and soothe your lips.

This day 11 years ago was the worst day of my life, it was the day I got diagnosed with genital herpes. This was something I never saw coming. On today's vlog Alexandra shares her never told before story of what it was like in 2011 getting diagnosed with genital herpes.

In this podcast, Alexandra Harbushka from Life With Herpes interviews Damon Sununtnasuk from Natural Cure Labs about Monolaurin and other ways to support your immune system with fighting Herpes outbreaks and other viral infections.

To Connect with Alexandra - https://www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka/

Read More on Life With Herpes HERE 

For Detailed Show Notes click HERE 

Subscribe to the Life With Herpes Newsletter  click HERE

Before being diagnosed with herpes we have so many misconceptions about who has herpes and what it is like living with herpes. Honestly, most of them are myths. I'll go through some myths that I had and I’d love to hear what yours are. 

If you were just diagnosed with herpes, you're probably freaking out and don't know where to go or turn to. I hope this video sheds some light on the topic you're interested in, how to go on, and where to search for information.

This is by far one of the best things you can do for yourself ever…not to mention especially when you  have a herpes outbreak.

If you've just been diagnosed with herpes you have herpes questions. So Alexandra's answered the top FAQ's in today's vlog.

She talks about that waiting period of wondering if your herpes results are going to come back positive or negative. There are so many ups and downs that lead you down a rabbit hole of questions.

The quick answer is no! You can absolulty have unprotected sex even if you have herpes. Before we dive deep and go into explanation on this let’s talk about how this is a huge myth and is one of the drivers for the stigma.

When we are diagnosed and told that we have herpes we automatically think that we’re going to be forced to use condoms for the rest of our lives, even when we’re married. Yuck! And this is not true. Yes, condoms are great! They do a great job at preventing pregnancy and they do an okay job at preventing the transmission of herpes. Condoms definitely have their pros and thank goodness we have them. But let’s face it, there comes a time in a relationship when you don’t want to “have to” use one. I get it. 

Here’s the deal with condoms. Like I mentioned before they are great at preventing pregnancy in fact they’re 98% effective when used correctly. And when it comes to preventing herpes transmission they are 30-50% effective when used correctly. So this great news but it also explains why if you always used a condom why you still got herpes. Condoms don’t cover all of the body parts. I mean you’re pretty exposed still and herpes doesn’t just show up in the areas that are covered by the condom. Herpes can be on a mans scrotum, at the base where the condom doesn’t cover or in any area around the genital region. Same thing for women, herpes is not just in the vaginal canal or around the opening. It can be anyplace in her genital region. 

The best method out there for reducing the risk of transmission is actually when the person who’s infected takes the antiviral. Yep, the antiviral cuts down on transmission by 48%. This is far more effective than a condom because the antiviral keeps the herpes virus dormant in your system. 

So, what this boils down to and what this means in reducing the risk of transmission is you need to have a conversation with your partner about having herpes. They need to know and they need to make their own decision about when the condom comes off. Really this conversation needs to be had with our without herpes  but we’re specifically talking about herpes. You and your partner need to talk about what precautions you’re going to take to reduce the transmission and what you both feel comfortable with. 

Go out there have fun and talk to your partner!!!

Life With Herpes Details:

• Join the Secret Society 
• HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
• Shop the LWH Essentials
• Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm 

Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things  I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. 

Xoxo,

Alexandra

Just in case…

Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:

Need to talk confidentially about herpes? 

Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials

Are you social? 

Instagram

Facebook

Experiencing anxiety here and there is 100% normal. We have times that we are freaking out. When I researched the word anxiety this is what I got back; Experiencing occasional anxiety is a normal part of life. However, people with anxiety disorders frequently have intense, excessive and persistent worry and fear about everyday situations. Often, anxiety disorders involve repeated episodes of sudden feelings of intense anxiety and fear or terror that reach a peak within minutes. So here are some tips I’ve learned over the years with dealing with herpes outbreaks.

In case you don’t know it, I’m married and my husband does not have herpes!

This comes as a shock to a lot of people. I don’t think it’s the married part but the part that my husband doesn’t have herpes.

Our all natural lube is designed to heighten pleasure and also play. Adding CBD to the lube in some people can delightful increase sensitivity as well as aid in relaxation. Adding CBD to the lube can also be beneficial for people who might experience pain during sex, in other words this is a perfect recipe for more pleasure and may lead to better orgasms.

So the person you like just told you they have herpes. You’re thinking should I date them? What does this mean for me? How’s this going to play into our dating and sex life?  

Ok so first let me calm you down and let you know what it feels like when you’re first diagnosed with herpes. Seriously, dating or being able to date is the number one fear. We think that nobody will date us and that our life is over! The fear of rejection is a real thing and so telling the person we like that we have herpes is really scary. 

So firstly before you make an decisions I want to make sure you’re aware that the person you’re dating really respects you. He or she took a leap of faith and told you their deep dark secret. They told you that they have herpes. This was really hard for them so I hope that you give them some credit and acknowledge that it was hard for them. 

Here are the top questions you’re going to have when dating someone with herpes:

Can you still have sex? 

YES, the answer is yes! You can still have a normal and healthy sex life if you or your partner has herpes! And yes, you can do something to prevent prevention. There are so many stories of people who’ve been together for years and have not yet transmitted it. It really boils down to communication and trusting your partner to disclose to you when they had their last outbreak or if they feel one coming on. Here are 3 ways you can prevent transmission to your partner.

Having herpes doesn’t mean they’ve slept around. 

In general we all have this idea or preconceived notion that people with herpes have slept around and that’s obviously how they got herpes. Well this is 100% BS and false. We all have an idea of the “type” of person who has herpes and clearly because of the stigma it creates this false reality of people who have herpes.

You have already been exposed to the herpes virus before meeting them. 

Of course when our partner tells us that they have herpes it’s normal to freak out and think that you’re automatically going to get herpes too. Well here’s the thing, you’ve already been exposed to the herpes virus weather it’s HSV 1 or HSV 2.  ⅔ people have HSV 1 and ⅙ people have HSV 2 so there’s no way you can go through life and not have been exposed. You’ve shared a burger, a cigarette, had a sip of someone's beer or coca cola. It’s just impossible for you to not have come into contact with it. 

Remember at the end of the day this person really cares about you and he or she has great integrity. They told you that they have herpes because they felt the importance of disclosing and making sure you have the decision. 

If you have more herpes questions, and probably you do, feel free to check out more videos and this blog. Oh and of course, you can reach out with any questions.

Life With Herpes Details:

• Join the Secret Society 
• HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
• Shop the LWH Essentials
• Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm 

Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things  I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. 

Xoxo,

Alexandra

Just in case…

Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:

Need to talk confidentially about herpes? 

Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials

Are you social? 

Instagram

Facebook

Recently on social media someone commented on my live and said that if I hadn’t been so promiscuous I wouldn't have gotten herpes.

There’s a lot of ways we can dissect this comment. Also, instead of going off on this man, I used it as a learning opportunity to talk about how promiscuity has nothing to do with.

Honestly, this is great news. This person really cares about you and is doing what he or she can do to try to prevent transmission. Transmissions occur less often when a disclosure takes place because the person with herpes can take precautionary methods to help avoid transmission. 

But here are 5 things you need to know about dating someone with herpes

Okay so now you’re diagnosed with Herpes and you want to do everything possible to prevent the next outbreak or if you get one speed up the recovery time and lessen the severity of it, right?

Let's see what supplements can do for you.

These herpes myths will surprise you. I know they sure did for me.

The reason why there’s a stigma against herpes is because of all the myths out there. We say that someone was irresponsible and that's why they have herpes. We say that people were promiscuous and that’s why they have herpes. We think that condoms will protect you from getting herpes and so on. 

Really what this all boils down to is the lack of education about herpes and the snickering that continues about herpes and STI’s. 

The truth is that 84% of people have herpes. You can’t say that 84% of the population were irresponsible or promiscuous or that their sex life is over. The truth is that we as humans get herpes by enjoying life and by spending time with other people. You don’t have to have sex to get herpes and you really can’t tell who has it.  

I want to break down the 10 most common myths that are associated with herpes. If you have herpes you should keep reading and if you don’t have herpes you should keep reading also. Chances are there’s someone out there you love and care about who has it. 

Herpes is not included in the STD panel

This is not true. You actually have to ask for a herpes test. Other STI’s like chlamydia and gonorrhea and HIV are included but not herpes. There are many different theories and reasons for this. Some doctors feel that the aftermath of knowing you have herpes is far worse than the actual outbreak. Others feel that it’s so common so why test. Regardless, you have to speak up and ask for the test. 

Promiscuous people get herpes

This idea of being promiscuous or a slut or sleeping around really needs to be put to rest. I mean yes the more people you come in contact with the more exposure you have to the virus. However, that thought or stigma does not apply to everyone with the herpes virus. Most of the people I talk to who have herpes got it from a committed relationship. Most of the time the person with herpes did not know they had herpes and unknowingly passed it to their partner. 

Oral herpes is different than genital herpes

This particular one really erks me. Herpes is herpes! HSV 1 is herpes and HSV 2 is herpes. There is no good herpes or bad herpes. You did not do something right or wrong. HSV 1 is typically oral herpes however HSV 1 is becoming really common in the genial region. What this means is the majority of people with oral herpes think they’re different or put in a better category because they don’t have the “bad herpes”. This is total BS! 

Antiviral will cure your herpes

The good news and bad news about viruses is that they are in your body for life. So in some cases this is great, like with a cold or the flu. In other cases this is annoying like with herpes. So taking an antiviral will not “cure you” or get rid of herpes for good. What it does is the antiviral works really well at keeping the virus dormant in your body and prevents outbreaks as well as lesses the chance of transmission. I talk more about antivirals here. So at the end of the day you’ll have this virus for the rest of your life and you will be contagious when the virus is active. 

Your sex life is over

This is a big one and most of us think this when we’re diagnosed. It’s totally not true and you can absolutly have sex again and be in a loving relationship. Herpes has nothing to do with it. Having herpes does require you to discuss your diagnosis with a partner and it might require some extra protection or communication but that’s it. 

If you're in a relationship and just found out you have herpes then it means that your partner cheated on you.

This is always what we think and having a conversation with your partner is crucial. Here’s the deal, typical transmission occurs within 2 weeks however that’s not always the case. You can become infected with the herpes virus and it can lay dormant in your body for weeks, months or even years. So in this situation, your partner or spouse could have come into contact with it years ago and it just now it popping up. 

Condoms fully protect you from herpes

I’m all about using condoms as protection so I’m not discouraging you from using them. But a condom only covers a portion of a man’s genital area and during sex there’s more square feet that’s coming into contact. You know what I mean? Also, we don’t always use the condom during the entire sexual experience. There’s foreplay where there’s not a condom used and also oral sex where condoms are typically not used. Basically what I’m saying is there’s lots of opportunities for skin to skin contact and herpes to infect a partner. 

It’s obvious to tell if someone has herpes

You can not tell if someone has herpes. It’s not like a look or a classification or a smell or anything for that matter. The only way you’d be able to tell is if they had an outbreak happening however even with that it might look different than what you’re thinking or be in a funny spot where you can’t really see it. So in other words, doing body check before you have sex doesn’t work. The only way to know is if the person is diagnosed by a doctor. 

You’re only contagious when you have an outbreak

This was what we originally thought back in the day when it came to herpes. However, now that we’ve done so much more research on the virus and have a better understanding we know that there’s this thing called viral shedding. When this occurs we’re contagious and can transmit herpes to a partner. The catch is we don’t know when the virus is shedding because there is no sign or symptom of the virus. I talk more about viral shedding here if you want to know more. 

If you don’t get herpes outbreaks then you don’t have herpes

This is another huge myth out there and one of the reasons why herpes is being transmitted so often. The majority of people with herpes are asymptomatic which means that they don’t get outbreaks. Lucky them right!?!? But here’s the catch, they’re still herpes positive and can still transmit the virus to a partner. Back to the viral shedding thing. The other downside to this is that if you don’t have outbreaks then you’re probably not getting tested and don’t know you have it. So you’re unknowingly exposing your partner to herpes. 

So as you can see there’s tons of myths out there that we all play into or believe what we want to believe because we it helps our situation. It’s so easy to believe that if you always use a condom then you won’t get herpes or it’s easy to put yourself in a situation of not finding a partner because you have herpes and think that nobody will want you. It requires you to educate yourself on the herpes virus and have conversations with your partners. 

Life With Herpes Details:

• Join the Secret Society 
• HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
• Shop the LWH Essentials
• Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm

Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things  I wished I knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. 

Xoxo,

Alexandra

Just in case…

Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:

Need to talk confidentially about herpes? 

Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials

Are you social? 

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Facebook

What I love about the Everyday Soothing Oil is that it’s small but very mighty. It can fit in my purse, my overnight kit, or in my desk drawer. I can take it with me on the run when I have an outbreak.

Shop Everyday Soothing Oil

https://www.lifewithherpes.com/shop-everyday-soothing-oil

Let me tell you a bit about my pregnancy. I went through IVF to have Clinton and I never had an outbreak during any of the hormonal treatments and IVF treatments to get pregnant. Then fast forward I don’t believe I had outbreaks in my first trimester but then in my second trimester, I started having few and then in my last trimester I had them back to back.

I was diagnosed with herpes in 2011. That doesn’t sound like it was too long ago and that we haven't had to many changes but really, when you think about it we’ve had a ton of technological changes. Let me take you back to 2011. There was google, but it wasn’t what it is today. There was Facebook and Instagram, but neither had the impact that they have today. So what I’m trying to say is that there wasn’t the information out there that there is now. When I googled herpes, or who had herpes back in 2011, the only information that came up was something very sterile from either WebMD or Planned Parenthood that just gave the facts about herpes but didn’t help with the stigma. I think I logged off feeling worse about myself than when the doctor told me about my diagnosis.

Sometimes people think it's easier to get diagnosed later in life, and other times, people think it's easier when we're younger and we can deal with it easier. The truth is, there's never a good time to get diagnosed and it can always be hard to deal with outbreaks and disclose to our partners, when dating seems so far away.

There are times that I have had an outbreak and my husband and I have wanted to have sex. Whether it’s been when we are on vacation, or just because. With that being said, we’ve gotten creative and still had a great time getting between the sheets.

The amount of times that I get asked about having oral herpes down there is astonishing. I mean that not in an ignorant way but in a way that so many people are now getting oral herpes down there.

I didn’t know if I wanted to have kids but one of the first questions I asked my doctor when I was diagnosed with herpes was, “can I still have a baby”?

Some of the things I want to cover are: pregnancy and delivery, fears, precautions and how we handle it day to day.

In this insightful episode of Life with herpes podcast, join your host Alexandra Harbushka and special guest Elisabeth Kristof as they delve into the fascinating connection between the nervous system and herpes outbreaks. Elisabeth, a renowned expert in nervous system health, shares valuable insights and practical tips on how understanding and supporting your nervous system can play a pivotal role in managing and preventing herpes outbreaks. Tune in to discover empowering strategies for achieving a healthier, more balanced life with herpes.

Life with herpes is committed to providing you with expert advice and empowering conversations about living your best life, even with herpes. Don't miss this enlightening discussion that could make a significant difference in your journey.

Listen now to gain a deeper understanding of how your nervous system impacts herpes outbreaks, and learn actionable steps to take control of your well-being.

Listen to part 2: Healing Shame: Exploring the Nervous System and Herpes Stigma

Get 2weeks free membership for Brainbased Wellness here.

You probably have herpes and you’re not alone. 

When you get diagnosed with herpes you feel like you’re all alone and the only person in the world with herpes. Well guess what!!! You’re now the majority. Yes, the majority of people have herpes. In fact 84% of the world population has herpes. 

Let’s break that down for you...

First let’s talk about the United States and people with herpes. I pulled up numbers from the census and data from the Center of Disease Control to get as exact as we can. Unfortunately the CDC only had numbers of people from the ages of 14-49 with herpes. Now we know that there are plenty more people with herpes that are over 49 but we have to go with the numbers and data that’s provided. 

In the US there are 112,806,642 people in the US between 18-44. Of people aged 14-49 in the U.S., 47.8% have HSV-1 and 11.9% have HSV-2. Or if you want to total the percentage of people with herpes both type 1 & 2 it’s 59.7%.  That’s a lot of people and remember we’re not even including people 50 or above. 

Here it is broken down into numbers instead of looking at it as a percent. There are  53,921,574.90 people with HSV 1 and 13,423,990.40 people with HSV 2. This totals to be 67,345,565.30 people with HSV in the US between the ages of 18-44.  Again that’s a ton of people! 

I’ve also included graphs and more data breaking it down to type 1 & 2 as well as the age, race, and sex. I found this pretty fascinating and I think you will.

Data from the CDC

Ok so now let’s talk about the world population with herpes. The information that I can find on numbers are that  ⅙ or 17% of the population has HSV 2 and ⅔ or 67% of the population has HSV 1. This means that 84% of the population has HSV either HSV 1 or HSV 2.  Unfortunately there are no cool graphs and data on this that break it down so I had to look at this with some rough numbers.  There are 7.53 billion people in the world. So that means that 17% or 128,010,000 have HSV 2 and 67% or 504,510,000 have HSV 1. This totals to 632,520,000 in the world with either HSV 1 or 2. These numbers are astonishing.

You are so not alone. The only reason why you feel alone is because nobody is talking about it. We’ve been made to feel like we are carrying an awful secret or we’re bad people for living life. As you can see from these numbers that the majority of the population has herpes. Feel free to use this information while disclosing or sharing it with others. Educating people on herpes is the best way to stop the stigma.  

Don’t let having herpes stop you from living your life and following your dreams. Go out and crush it!!!

Life With Herpes Details:

• Join the Secret Society 
• HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
• Shop the LWH Essentials
• Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm 

Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things  I wished I knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. 

Xoxo,

Alexandra

Just in case…

Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:

Need to talk confidentially about herpes? 

Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials

Are you social? 

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Ok I’m sure you’re reading this going...what are you crazy!?! Before you start wondering about transmission and how this is going to work out let me calm you down and explain. 

Sex doesn’t have to mean vaginal sex. That’s typically what we think of when we hear the words sex. It’s pretty conventional and socially we’ve been programed to think of sex as vaginal intercouse. Well, there are many other ways to be intimate with your partner and avoiding your outbreak.

Let me talk about my relationship for a bit. As of writing this, my husband and I have been together for 5 years, we have sex regularly and he does not have herpes. Me having herpes, does not get in the way of our relationship, our marriage, or our sex life. We’ve found ways to get around it when I have those pesky outbreaks or when I feel like they’re coming on. 

In case you’re wondering how I haven't transmitted herpes to my husband I attribute it to being very open when it comes to communication. I let him know if I feel like something is going on or if I have an outbreak and when it’s all healed up. We do not use condoms nor am I on the antiviral so it really boils down to communication. I talk about the best methods of reducing transmission in other episodes so if you’re interested in that topic you can go here. 

But what I’m wanting to get at here is that there are other ways to be intimate that doesn’t involve vaginal intercourse. There’s oral sex, there’s masturbation and there’s the use of toys. 

Let’s quickly review how transmission occurs. It’s skin to skin transmission with the location of the outbreak. 

So here’s an example, if you have oral herpes and have an outbreak on you mouth then would want to refrain from using your mouth and coming into contact with someone who is not infected. In other words, if you have an oral outbreak you can have vaginal or anal sex  and receive oral sex but not perform oral sex. Make sense? Kissing or performing oral sex on your partner would put them at risk of contracting herpes.

Another example, if a man has an outbreak on his penis then he would want to prevent his penis from coming into contact with his partner. So in this case, he could perform oral sex on his partner and  depending on where the outbreak is located he could potentially masturbation.  

So do you get where I’m going here? You have to get creative and sometimes that can be different and fun. It gets you out of your normal sex rhythm and forces you and your partner to communicate and get creative. Yes, maybe it’s not sexual penetration but hey, you’re still intimate with your partner and you both can still share in the fun and pleasure. Outbreaks only last for a few days and they go away, don’t let an outbreak dictate or get in the way of you and your partner enjoying one another.

Life With Herpes Details:

• Join the Secret Society 
• HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
• Shop the LWH Essentials
• Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm 

Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things  I wished I knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. 

Xoxo,

Alexandra

Just in case…

Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:

Need to talk confidentially about herpes? 

Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials

Are you social? 

Instagram

Facebook

According to Oxford's dictionary the definition of asymptomatic is, "(of a condition or a person) producing or showing no symptoms." So what this means for someone living with herpes is, they have herpes but don't have any symptoms. They don't get outbreaks, they don't have tingles, they don't get itchy, they don't have any sensation or clue that they have herpes.

Alexandra talks with Amanda Neely, a founder of Grandmas Wealth Wisdom and they share how the overwhelming struggles with herpes and financial debt can actually be extremely similar and how are they holding us back.

Rejection as a whole is a legit fear. It sucks, it hurts and we feel like we’re failures. We just put our heart or effort into something to have it not work out.

I got genital herpes when I was 28.  I had had my heart broken 3 times before turning 28 and none of it had to do with herpes. Each time I cried, drank wine with my girl friends and then eventually got back into the dating world. Basically I got back on horse. 

I’ve been getting lots of questions like; will sweat cause an outbreak, will friction cause an outbreak, will HITT cause me to get an outbreak, professional bodybuilders have asked questions about pre workout and so on.

Our biggest fear, once we’re diagnosed, is dating. It’s the fear of rejection, it’s the how do I disclose, do I need to disclose and so on. All of these feelings questions and emotions are valid and an important part of the herpes journey.

There's a preconceived notion in many of us that being promiscuous will definitely get you herpes. If you will not sleep around, or not sleep with 'those people', or always do things the right way, there's no way you're going to get herpes.
I also thought I'm that person.

Finding out you have herpes can be a difficult and isolating experience. When Alexandra, the founder of The Secret Society was first diagnosed, she felt alone and without support. That's why she created The Secret Society, an online support group for people living with herpes.

If you don’t have herpes then hearing that everyone has  herpes virus probably just freaked you out!

Well, it’s true that everyone has a herpes virus and it’s nothing to be worried about. You’re going to be just fine. Promise. 

We’ve been living with these dang herpes viruses for as long as humans have been walking on this earth. The herpes virus want to survive as much as we do and they’ve done a pretty good job at it. 

Let me explain.

There are more than 100 known herpes viruses out there! Yep 100! The good news is that there are really only 8 that infects us as humans. Here’s the list and I’d bet you have more than one of them:

1. herpes simplex virus type 1 (HSV) or commonly known as cold sores or fever blisters
2. herpes simplex virus type  2 (HSV) commonly known as genital herpes
3. Varicella-zoster virus (VZV) or commonly known as chickenpox or shingles
4. cytomegalovirus is very common and doesn’t really have any symptoms
5. Epstein-Barr virus or commonly known as mononucleosis or mono and the Symptoms include fatigue, fever, rash, and swollen glands. 
6. human herpesvirus 6 or commonly known as HHV and infects nearly 100% of human beings, typically before the age of three and often results in fever, diarrhea, sometimes with a rash known as roseola.
7. human herpesvirus 7 or commonly known as HHV has symptoms including acute febrile respiratory disease, fever, rash, vomiting, diarrhea, low lymphocyte counts, and febrile seizures, though most often no symptoms present at all.
8. Kaposi's sarcoma virus or human herpesvirus 8 include symptoms that are lesions on the skin: flat, painless spots that are red or purple on white skin and bluish, brownish, or black on dark skin. 

Ok so heres the deal. You have 1 or 2 or 3 or many of the herpes virus that are living with us humans. The only one that causes us to freak out or make us believe that we did something wrong is herpes or HSV 1 or 2. So why is it that getting chicken pox or mono doesn’t make us feel like we’re a leper? My guess it’s all a marketing stunt that was put into place to sell the antiviral, valtrex. The pharma companies need a compelling story to convince people that then needed this antiviral in order to continue to live a normal life. And yes, it’s 100% BS. You don’t need the antiviral to live a normal life, yes it helps heal the outbreaks faster but thats really it. 

But back to the 8 herpes viruses and how we all have many of them and we all freak out about getting genital herpes or oral herpes.  It really does get me going when you hear people cringe or have an eww attitude towards people with herpes when I know that they have herpes viruses too. Oh and 80% of the people with HSV don’t even know they have it. 

The reason why this is important to you, someone living with either oral or genital herpes, is that you can educate the person who stereotypes you or calls you names. Ask them if they have ever had mono or the chicken pox or cold sores. I can guarantee you they’ve had one or all of them. 

The truth is you have herpes viruses and that’s just fine. Chickenpox or mono doesn’t define you’re life so why should you let HSV 1 or 2 define your life. What? It’s because you feel like nobody else has it or nobody will date you? It’s total BS and all that it is is a stupid virus that gives you some blisters here and there. That’s it!

Life With Herpes Details:

• Join the Secret Society 
• HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
• Shop the LWH Essentials
• Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm 

Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things  I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. 

Xoxo,

Alexandra

Just in case…

Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:

Need to talk confidentially about herpes? 

Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials

Are you social? 

Instagram

Facebook

Coach Sarah Joy helps women with thyroid conditions find their root causes. She got herpes, was diagnosed with Hashimoto's and Epstein–Barr. After years of dealing with symptoms, exhaustion, fatigue, anxiety, insomnia, muscle weakness, panic attacks, brittle hair and nails, hair loss, food intolerances, bloating and pain after I ate, heart pain, palpitations, brain fog, memory loss, constipation, intolerances to the weather, seasonal or environmental allergies, and more, she managed to get her health back after years of dealing with the symptoms.

After launching the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm I’ve been getting lots of questions from you all about CBD and why we should use it.  Well… I’m convinced that CBD has so many health benefits and they completely fit with the lifestyle of people living with herpes. 

Let’s face it. Outbreaks hurt! They’re annoying. They show up when we’re stressed out or run down. They absolutely are a buzzkill and change our mood. Oh and not to mention the outbreak that never seems to go away. And guess what? CBD helps with all of this. I’ll tell you how. 

Here are 5 ways that adding CBD into your life will benefit your herpes outbreak.

Calm Your Anxiety

Regardless of just being diagnosed with herpes or if you’ve had herpes for years anxiety can set in and wreak havoc on you. There’s nothing worse than an anxiety attack and CBD Oil mimics serotonin which plays a key role in our mood. It’s the gatekeeper to anxiety or depression.

Reduce Inflammation

CBD can reduce your inflammation from herpes outbreaks. When the outbreak is in full swing there is redness, puffiness, and pain. CBD helps reduced the information and discomfort that goes along with it.

Improves Your Overall Mood

When outbreaks happen it’s a perfect time for us to be a roller coaster of emotions as well as be an energy suck. CBD makes a positive impact on your mood swings and energy levels.

Lessons Outbreak Pain

Herpes outbreaks hurt and CBD reduces pain on multiple levels and even promotes nerve health which is important because the HSV virus lives in our nervous system.

Improves Recovery Time

Outbreaks cause stress on your body and that can keep you down and out and in a funk for too long. CBD lessens inflation calms your nerves and gets you back into balance.

After covering all of this...why wouldn’t you give CBD a try and why wouldn’t you give the lip balm that’s specially designed to improve recovery time, lessen the outbreak pain and improve your overall mood?  Here’s the link for you to check it out and see for yourself. 

Life With Herpes Details:

• Join the Secret Society 
• HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
• Shop the LWH Essentials
• Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm 

Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things  I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. 

Xoxo,

Alexandra

Just in case…

Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:

Need to talk confidentially about herpes? 

Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials

Are you social? 

Instagram

Facebook

Alexandra Harbushka and Caroline Goodner of Femiclear talk about Herpes treatments and how to cope with your diagnosis, so you heal your body and your mind faster.

To Connect with Alexandra - https://www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka/

Read More on Life With Herpes HERE 

For Detailed Show Notes click HERE 

Subscribe to the Life With Herpes Newsletter click HERE

This soap jam is packed with beneficial ingredients to combat a herpes outbreak, meanwhile cleaning your body and leaving your skin feeling delicate and soft.

Now that we have herpes we want to know what the chances are that we’re going to transmit herpes to our partner. I get asked this daily on my lives and in the comments. There is the preconceived thought that if you have herpes you’re contagious all the time and you’ll have outbreaks all the time and that your entire body is contagious. I can happily tell you that that is not true.

One of the most common misconceptions I hear when I read comments or get asked questions are about oral herpes and HSV 1.  So let’s break it down and get right to it. 

Before we break it down let’s just do the 101 on herpes. There’s two types; HSV 1 & HSV 2. Both have very similar symptoms and we can not tell one virus apart from the other one unless testing is done.  HSV 1 prefers to live in the oral region meanwhile HSV 2 prefers to live in the genial region. However, the virus will live or go wherever you give it a place to go. In other words, HSV 1 can be genital and HSV 2 can be oral. More people have HSV 1, its ⅔ globally and ⅙ globally  have HSV 2. If you want more information on HSV you can go here where I give a full breakdown of symptoms and all sorts of goodies.

HSV1 is  known as oral herpes or because we don’t like to use the word herpes we call them cold sores or fever blisters. Oral herpes is also known as the “good” herpes and genital herpes is known as the “bad herpes”.  This is total BS and I’ll get on that subject another time. But here’s the shocker...HSV 1 can also be genital herpes. Mic Drop! 

I get tons of DM’s and emails with people asking about having HSV 1 and either assuming it’s oral or wondering why they’re getting outbreaks down there.  This can be confusing, especially because there’s not a lot of education on the matter. 

First thing I want you to look at when you’re diagnosed with herpes is, where is your outbreak? Is it orally or is it genitally? Don’t assume that because you have HSV1 that it's not genital herpes. If you have herpes in your genital region then you have genital herpes regardless of HSV 1 or HSV 2. Make sense? 

In the past and past generations we were not so careful about transmitting herpes. Maybe it wasn’t  a big deal or maybe we just didn’t know. I really don’t know. But in the last generation we've done a much better job of reducing the risk of HSV 1  being orally transmitted. So that’s good news! But we’re still getting herpes and we’re not getting it up there. Instead we’re getting it down there.  I’ve seen a ton of new cases especially with millennials getting genital HSV 1. This goes back to we’re not educating our society that HSV 1 is also sexually transmitted.  This is always such a shock and super confusing to people when they get their diagnosis. For reasons I’m sure you understand. 

Here’s the deal. I’m going over this so that you can have more information and use this to educate your partners or give you answers to your diagnosis. It really doesn’t matter what type you have nor does it matter where you have it. Yes there's a HUGE stigma about having genital herpes but at the end of the day it’s herpes. 

When starting a new sexual relationship with someone I recommend having your partner get tested before you jump in bed together. Because so many people have HSV 1 and a lot of them don’t even know it  most likely your partner has HSV 1. They either don’t not know they have it or are not aware that their fever blisters is herpes and is sexually transmitted. 

Education is power so you can now take this and decide how you want to handle it. 

 Of course let me know if you have any questions on this. 

Life With Herpes Details:

• Join the Secret Society 
• HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
• Shop the LWH Essentials
• Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm 

Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things  I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. 

Xoxo,

Alexandra

Just in case…

Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:

Need to talk confidentially about herpes? 

Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials

Are you social? 

Instagram

Facebook

Okay so I have both oral herpes and genital herpes. The good news is I get what it’s like to have both oral and genital outbreaks and I also don’t have to worry about getting herpes from anyone else. Lol. 

Personally I think having oral outbreaks are far worse than having genital outbreaks. I know that might sound crazy, especially because the stigma has made having genital herpes like the worst thing in the world.  However, when I have an oral outbreak it really messes with my ego, my self-confidence and I feel like I can’t go anywhere without anyone staring at me. The last time I had an oral outbreak was right before my wedding so I was a little stressed. But I can remember being so mad...like the mad that makes your blood boil. I was humiliated because I had this huge blister on my lip and I felt like I couldn’t touch anyone or be around anyone. I was emotionally a mess. Then not to mention the pain I was in. It was sooooo painful and it hurt to eat and just do normal daily activities. URG...it’s the pits and I totally get all of it. 

In our Life With Herpes community, I’ve been hearing from you all about this and similar stories. Some are for genital outbreaks and some are for oral outbreaks. It doesn’t matter. At the end of the day herpes is herpes and outbreaks hurt, they put you on an emotional roller coaster and all you want is for it to go away. 

So here’s the deal...I’ve created a lip balm that will help with recovery time, will lessen the pain and fight the virus to keep it away. 

THIS IS HUGE and I’m so excited because there’s nothing else out there that has the same fighting & soothing powers as our Secret Society CBD Lip Balm.  Using it is my favorite way to calm anxiety, reduce the pain from herpes outbreaks and improve my overall wellbeing. Bam...what could be better?!

Here’s how this lip balm works...There is no other product out there on the market that has combined herpes-fighting ingredients as well as CBD to lessen the pain and help soothe on all levels. This is an SPF, moisturizing, Lysine and CBD-infused lip balm that can be used daily to fight against outbreaks both current and preventative. Meanwhile, you’ll be getting hydration to your lips and the CBD will help calm any situation. Win-win all around!

And if you’re thinking that you have genital herpes and this doesn’t pertain to you let me explain...Here’s the deal: the CBD isolate in our Secret Society CBD Lip Balm will help you with your anxiety or depression and help you manage your stress level. Typically stress is the cause of an outbreak so the CBD in the lip balm will lessen your mood swings and get you back to a normal level. There have been studies to prove this! Yay science! 

If you get genital outbreaks as well as oral outbreaks, we recommend buying two (2) Secret Society CB Lip Balms to designate one for your genital region and one for your oral region. You can use something like glitter nail polish or marker and tape to distinguish between the two. This will ensure there’s no back and forth gross stuff going on. Ya, know?

Oh, and you don’t have to worry... CBD in the lip balm won’t get you high there’s no THC. 

Come check it out and see for yourself. Trust me you won’t want to leave home without it and you’re other lip balms or lipsticks will be jealous. 

Go here to get your lip balm :-))

Life With Herpes Details:

• Join the Secret Society 
• HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
• Shop the LWH Essentials
• Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm 

Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things  I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. 

Xoxo,

Alexandra

Just in case…

Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:

Need to talk confidentially about herpes? 

Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials

Are you social? 

Instagram

Facebook

When we are in a relationship there is acceptance on both sides. We think that herpes is the only thing that has to be accepted. But we are also going to be accepting my flaws and a herpes diagnosis.

Disclosing is one of the things that we fear the most when we’re diagnosed with herpes. There’s so much that we wrap up into dating and wanting to feel desired and now with a herpes diagnosis we are fearful that we’ll get rejected.  We either don’t disclose because we’re so caught up in the stigma and with the fear of rejection or we just got caught up in the moment and didn’t get a chance to disclose. Ok this happens...I get it but let’s look at some possible consequences of not disclosing. 

Here’s what happens when you don’t disclose you have herpes:

Your partner is at a higher risk of getting herpes

Yep, this is true. Lots of times we think out of sight and out of mind, however that’s not the case with the herpes virus. This virus works a little different. While you are most contagious when you have outbreaks and if you expose someone to the virse with an outbreak you’re probably going to transmit it. But the thing is with the HSV virus is that you can still transmit it when you have no symptoms at all! Yikes! This is due to what’s called viral shedding. We talk more about viral shedding here so go check it out. By telling your partner about your herpes diagnosis your protecting your partner more because you guys can come up with the best plan for safe sex. Without having the conversation you’re just putting your partner at risk without their knowledge and at the end of the day it doesn’t feel really sexy.   

A Lack of Trust

Here’s what I’ve learned in life is that at the end of the day the truth will always come out. And in this particular situation they way the truth can come out is your partner potentially getting an outbreak or they see your prescription for the antivirals in your medicine cabinet or their bff mentions it while they’re drunk. Whatever the situation is, it can happen and then there’s a bigger problem. The bigger problem isn’t that now your partner had herpes but it’s that there’s a huge lack of trust. This can lead to breakups, an unhealthy relationship and your partner wondering what else you’re hiding. None of this is good and it could have been prevented by having the conversation upfront. 

You Live with The Guilt

Here’s the thing, we’re talking about this because I don’t want you to be living with guilt or shame. The last thing you want in your relationship is secrets and feel like you have to keep them. If you’re in the situation of not disclosing to your partner and don’t know how to approach it then the best way is to lead with the truth. I get that it’s a super hard conversation to have. Personally when I’ve been in situations where the truth is hard or I need to apologize for something I’ve done the best way to lead is with your heart and your vulnerability. When the person you care about sees how much it’s eating you up and how much you want to set it right there will be compassion.  This is something we talk about almost weekly in the Secret Society weekly Support Group calls as well as if this is something you want to talk about privately then we can set up an Emergency Call.  

This is all really deep stuff and trust me I get where you’re at. Sending you big hugs and tons of support!  

Life With Herpes Details:

• Join the Secret Society 

• HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)

• Shop the LWH Essentials

• Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm 

Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things  I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. 

Xoxo,

Alexandra

Just in case…

Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:

Need to talk confidentially about herpes? 

Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials

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Being diagnosed with herpes in 2003 is very different than being diagnosed with herpes in 2022 . The major difference is the ability to find resources and educate yourself because back in the early 2000's it was even more taboo than now.

Alexandra shares her point of view from 2003 till today in 2022. There are three things that really stand out.

In the Life With Herpes community, the number one question I get has to do with dating. The questions range from will I ever date again, will anyone ever love me, how do I tell my partner and anything in between. 

So here’s the answers….Yes, you’ll date. Yes, you’ll find love. Yes you’ll get the courage to tell the cute person your dating. And Yes you’ll have sex again!!! PROMISE!

There’s good news when it comes to dating with herpes. I’m being serious.  

The good news is you now are in control of your sexual health. I’ll speak for myself but I’m guessing you’ll fall into this category too. So before being diagnosed with herpes, I knew what herpes was and I knew about STD’s. I was very educated in this because I taught for planned parenthood.However,  even though I knew everything I still believed that I was immune to everything because I’d never sleep with anyone who had anything. I believe I’d just know by looking at them. Feel free in insert an eye roll right now!

Because we have herpes it’s our wakeup call to be in control. I see it time and time again where people didn’t ask their partner about their sexual health or they didn’t use protection because they were like me and thought it’d never happen to them.  Or it was an uncomfortable conversation so they didn’t have it. As we know its all BS!!!!! I’m guessing these things didn’t happen because you were either insecure or trusted that person. And trust me I’m 100% guilty of both things. 

Like I mentioned earlier I never thought I’d get any type of STD because I would never sleep with anyone dirty or slimy that had it.What a Pollyanna move. 

All that needed to happen was to have a conversation. All that needed to happen was standing up for my health and lay out my requirements for a safe sexual relationship. Please keep in mind that my requirements may be totally different from your’s and that’s awesome. What needs to happend is to have them and stick to them. 

Here’s what you need to do…

Have the sex talk!

It’s as simple and as difficult as that! Have the sex talk prior to having sex with a new partner or a blast from the past. Just because you already slept with someone 6 months ago doesn’t mean that you’re still in the safe zone. 

Personally I’d sit down and decide what you feel comfortable with. Some questions to ask yourself are; do you want your sexual relationship to be monogamous or are you both exploring other options. Is the sex just causal or are you looking for a more serious commitment. Don’t be afraid to stand up for what you feel you deserve and want. 

Then when you’ve decided what you want from the relationship its a great way to open the conversation about sex. Bring up that you like them and you want to take this to the next level, so it’s important to have a conversation about it. 

At this point I’d ask my partner to have an STD test done before getting naked with them. Even if we’re planning to use a condom. Why go to that measure? Because sometimes people don’t know they have an infection, let’s face it people lie and condoms only work 30-50% of the time. So...why take the risk. Your health and well being is way to important. 

If you don’t stand up for yourself then nobody else will. 

Sex can still be fun and spontaneous and hot!!! What makes it even better is knowing that you both are being safe and are being responsible. 

Let me know your thoughts and let me know how you proceed.

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Life With Herpes Details:

• Join the Secret Society 
• HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
• Shop the LWH Essentials
• Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm 

Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things  I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. 

Xoxo,

Alexandra

Just in case…

Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:

Need to talk confidentially about herpes? 

Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials

Are you social? 

Instagram

Facebook

When we hear about herpes or are diagnosed with herpes we automatically think we have to use a condom or some type of protection for the rest of our life.

I've had a lot of you ask me about my story and how did I get pregnant and was I worried about transmitting it to my husband.

So yes, there are some things you can do to help manage your herpes outbreaks and/or feed your herpes outbreak. In other blog posts I talk about lifestyle, supplements and why people get outbreaks. So today I’m going to talk about foods that feed outbreaks and why.

Personally I love the woodsy smell and this is something that I use daily. I use it out of the shower and always before going to bet. I live in Las Vegas so my skin is always needing some hydration and this lotion leaves myskin feeling silky and nourished. Not to mention I emotionally feel at ease.

In a recent interview, we had the opportunity to speak with Dr. John Martin, an experienced OBGYN, who shared valuable insights about herpes, its impact on pregnancy, and how individuals can navigate this diagnosis. Join us as we delve into the conversation and gain a better understanding of herpes from a medical professional's perspective.

I get questions all the time about pregnancy and herpes. In fact, this was one of the first questions I asked when I was first diagnosed back in 2011. 

There are so many myths out there that demonize herpes and make us feel like we no longer have the same rights a people who don’t have herpes. It’s 100% BS and yes, you can have a baby. 

I talk about herpes and pregnancy in other episodes and I’ll have them linked so you can hop over and check them out as well. But today I want to talk about fertility specifically. 

It’s so funny right, we spend forever doing our best to not get pregnant and then when we want to get pregnant we have a ton of questions and wonder if we really can. Oh and add a herpes diagnosis to the mix. 

Personally as a woman, my fertility was something I never worried about. I mean were not taught to worry about it were taught to worry about getting pregnant so why would I worry about “if” I could get pregnant. I’m going to side track to me a bit and right now I’m 4 months pregnant! Yay! But I have to tell you it wasn’t an easy journey and having herpes really had nothing to do with it. It took my husband and I 2 years to conceive and I wish I would have known more about it when I was younger. 

I’ll get back to my fertility journey but first I want to address how maybe slightly herpes could impact your trying to conceive journey. 

Frequent Outbreaks

This could prevent you from getting it on during the prime fertile time. My husband likes to call it my flower day. If you keep having outbreaks and cant have sex then yes, having herpes can impact your ability to get pregnant. Some ways around this would be to get on the antiviral. This will help reduce your outbreaks so that you and your partner can hump like bunnies. 

Wanting to Use a Condom 

There’s a lot of couples who want to use condoms no matter what. And that’s ok if it's your jam. The problem is that the condom is obviously going to prevent the sperm and the egg from meeting. That’s a problem. If you’re in a situation where this is a problem I suggest talking to your partner and looking at the risk versus reward. If you’re a male with herpes and don’t have an outbreak, not taking the antiviral and not using a condom you have a 4% risk of transmitting herpes to your female partner. If you’re a female with herpes and don’t have an outbreak, don’t use a condom and are not on the antivirals then you have a 10% chance of transmitting it to your partner. 

And then there was this study done in Iran and it was the only study that I could find on fertility and herpes. I’m not saying it's bogus and I’m not saying it's something to focus on. This study says that having herpes may impact the sperm count in men with herpes. I have the link to the article but basically it states that in more than half of infertile men there’s no answer to why they’re infertile. When a study was done they tested sperm from men with HSV 1 and HSV 2 as well as with men who do not have herpes. The sperm with herpes infected men came back with abnormal semen parameters and lower sperm count. Again, I don’t know all the details around the study and what “normal” semen parameters are. If you’re interested, here’s the link to read the study on your own. Again...I want to emphasize this is only 1 study and not something written in stone. And personally I don’t think I’d worry too much about it. 

Back to fertility and learning how important it is as a woman to know you’re fertility and how your hormones are. This has nothing to do with herpes but after struggling personally to get pregnant I wish I would have tested my fertility in the past. See the older women get, the less healthy our eggs are and our fertility hormones are. I recently was interviewed by Modern Fertility regarding pregnancy and fertility when it comes to herpes. You can read it here. But really what I want to emphasize here is take herpes out of the equation and if having a baby is something that is extremely important to you then check out your fertility profile. Seriously I wish I would have done this before trying to get pregnant. It would have given us information to make decisions based on the information from the test. You can go here to get your own test and we have a special discount for our members. 

Life With Herpes Details:

• Join the Secret Society 

• HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)

• Shop the LWH Essentials

• Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm 

Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things  I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. 

Xoxo,

Alexandra

Just in case…

Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:

Need to talk confidentially about herpes? 

Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials

Are you social? 

Instagram

Facebook

Why me? This is something I asked myself for years. I would sit crying wondering why this happened to me. What did I do to deserve this? I couldn’t think of anything worse than getting diagnosed with herpes.

"Join Coach Sarah Joy on a transformative journey through thyroid and gut health. A former warrior battling Epstein Barr, Herpes, Hashimoto's, and Hypothyroidism, she conquered chronic symptoms and reclaimed her health. After enduring misdiagnoses and ineffective treatments, Sarah reclaimed her power, delving into extensive research and self-healing methods.

Now a certified Transformational Nutrition and Thyroid Coach, her passion lies in empowering women combating various health challenges, from thyroid imbalances to infections like Herpes, Epstein Barr, and more. As a Holistic Root Cause Coach, Sarah educates and supports women in overcoming obstacles such as gut imbalances, diet struggles, and trapped trauma.

Her mission? To educate and empower 100 million women by 2030 on the crucial connection between Herpes and Thyroid illnesses. Tune in to explore holistic wellness strategies and embark on a journey toward vitality and understanding.

💢Follow Sarah on social media: Instagram, Tiktok & Youtube channel:

@coach.sarah.joy, visit her website www.coachsarahjoy.com,

or listen to her podcast:

Thursday Thyroid Talks

💢Update: Hi Everyone, It's Coach Sarah Joy,  I wanted to point out that I mentioned two things in the podcast backwards on accident. Call it the heat of the moment, or my mind running faster than my mouth. Regardless, I apologize for any confusion. You're welcome to DM me on IG any time for clarity.

💢Coach Sarah Joy does not diagnose, treat, heal, cure or prevent any illness, medical condition or mental or emotional condition and nothing on our website, its content or in our services is intended to diagnose, treat, heal, cure or prevent any illness, medical condition or mental condition.  Coach Sarah Joy provides Thyroid and Nutrition  information and education.  Our services are not medical or mental health advice. Sarah Lohman is a Health and Wellness Coach, not a mental health or healthcare professional.  Nothing on our website, in our Content or in our Services should be construed as healthcare or mental health advice or as a substitute for a consultation with a healthcare or mental health professional who can review and advise you on your specific situation.  Anyone choosing to implement any information on our website or in our Services should obtain prior medical clearance from a licensed or registered healthcare or mental health professional to declare them sufficiently healthy, and determine that the information on our website or in our services is appropriate and useful for them. Do not disregard professional medical advice or delay seeking professional advice because of information you have read on our website, or received from us.  Coaching is in no way to be construed as psychological counseling, therapy or medical advice.

In your 20's your 4th of July should be spent having fun with friends at the beach. Having just gotten diagnosed with herpes you won't believe how I spent my 4th of July. Spoiler alert there was lots of crying over my herpes diagnosis.

Yay, you’re pregnant or thinking about becoming pregnant and want to know what herpes has to do with it. 

Wow, this is exciting! Time in your life so let's talk about herpes and pregnancy. 

I can remember one of the first things I was worried about and asked my doctor about pregnancy. I was curious if it would impact pregnancy, birth, and the child. I’m sure I wasn’t the only woman so here are some great details on this next exciting big step. 

Let’s break this down into two sections, people who already have herpes and want to get pregnant or are pregnant and then people who get herpes while pregnant. 

So first let’s talk about having herpes and then getting pregnant. 

Genital herpes can be treated safely during pregnancy. You will be offered antiviral tablets which are safe to take during pregnancy and while breastfeeding. A mother can infect her baby during delivery, often fatally. But if a woman had genital herpes before getting pregnant, or if she is first infected early in pregnancy, the chance that her baby will be infected is very low -- less than 1%.

Now let’s move into getting herpes while pregnant.

If the first episode happens in the first three months of pregnancy, your baby does not have increased risk of developmental problems and it does not increase your risk of miscarriage. If you go into labour less than 6 weeks after the first episode of genital herpes, your immune system would not have had time to produce antibodies to protect your baby. Thus, there is a high chance of passing the virus to your baby if you have a vaginal birth. This is known as neonatal herpes. If you have your first episode earlier in the pregnancy, your immune system will provide protection. 

In rare cases, if you get an initial herpes infection during your first trimester, the virus could pass through the placenta and cause a miscarriage or serious birth defects. 15-20% of pregnancies have miscarriages so we don’t really know if it was caused from the herpes virus or not. 

Herpes can also be transmitted to your baby after birth, and the complications can be severe.

Ok so now let’s talk about birth..

A mother can infect her baby during delivery, often fatally. But if a woman had genital herpes before getting pregnant, or if she is first infected early in pregnancy, the chance that her baby will be infected is very low -- less than 1%. 

The risk of infecting the baby is high (30% to 50%) when a woman is newly infected late in pregnancy, however. That's because the mother's immune system has not developed protective antibodies against the virus. Women with an older herpes infection have antibodies against the virus, which help protect the baby.

Life With Herpes Details:

• Join the Secret Society 
• HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
• Shop the LWH Essentials
• Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm 

Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things  I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates. 

Xoxo,

Alexandra

Just in case…

Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:

Need to talk confidentially about herpes? 

Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials

Are you social? 

Instagram

Facebook

In this enlightening episode, delve into the intricate connection between the nervous system and the emotional impact of a herpes diagnosis. Discover how shame and societal stigma can influence our neural pathways, affecting not only our mental well-being but also our physical health. Join us as we explore strategies to heal and empower ourselves in the face of herpes stigma, nurturing a healthier relationship with our nervous system and our self-worth.

💚Learn more about Brainbased Wellness and get 2-weeks of free membership here:

https://www.lifewithherpes.com/brainbased-wellness

Yes, of course you can. But before you hit the sheets with your partner let’s talk about some details first.

One of the biggest fears or thoughts are about having sex when you’ve been diagnosed with herpes is that you’ll have to use a condom for the rest of your life. 

This topic brings up so many emotions. If you just slept with someone and they then later told you that they have herpes, I’m sure you are angry and confused. And if you have herpes and just slept with someone and didn’t tell them, I bet you have a lump in you stomach.