Just One Thing for Parents with Dr Bettina Hohnen (Dr Bettina Hohnen)

Many parents of neurodiverse young people struggle with how to support their children when they transition to University. It’s a huge step and a time when these these young people are quite vulnerable. Linda Philips is a Speech and Language therapist who specialises in this area and in this episode she answers the question - What’s Just One Thing Parents can do to support their neurodivergent child while they are away at university.

Linda highlights the unique challenges faced by university students with autism and ADHD as they transition and how parents can support them. She emphasizes the importance of regular check-ins for parents, shifting from giving advice to facilitating problem-solving through active listening.

We also cover strategies for building resilience, understanding individual needs, and fostering social connections through clubs and interests. Please have a listen and I know all parents will find some useful ideas from this episode. 

In this episode of JOT for Parents, Bettina is joined by the renowned Peg Dawson to explore effective interventions for executive skill difficulties in older kids.

Executive functions, like planning, organizing, paying attention, and managing time, are crucial for managing everyday life and reside in the brain’s frontal lobes. Many children struggle with these skills, leading parents to mistakenly think their kids are being difficult or lazy when they actually haven't developed the necessary brain circuits or habits.

Peg Dawson, the author of "Smart but Scattered," shares her expertise and introduces a simple yet powerful five-minute intervention designed to help parents enhance their child’s executive skills. This episode is a must-listen for every parent, as it addresses a universal challenge in supporting children’s development.

In today's episode of Just One Thing for Parents, Bettina had the pleasure of talking to Callum Brown, founder of Be More Me. Callum assists young people post education to find a career pathway. With A level results just released in the UK this week, young adults and their parents are likely to have this topic on their mind. And it’s often a stressful journey for everyone.

How do parents guide their kids to make the right choices? What distinguishes Callum is his holistic approach to this topic. He talks about the importance of helping young people discover their true selves, enabling authentic and fulfilling career choices. He offers valuable advice for parents on nurturing their children's self-reflection and motivation, along with practical tips to help young individuals take the first steps towards their career goals.

Join us to learn more about Callum's insightful methods and discover how to confidently navigate this critical transition.

In this episode, we delve into the implications of the phrase parents often use: "I just want you to be happy." While well-intentioned, this can inadvertently pressure children and young people to constantly seek happiness, which is elusive, especially for teenagers with raw emotions. Instead, Christine Dunkley suggests encouraging kids to find activities that feel worthwhile and rewarding, helping them act their way out of negative emotions.

This approach fosters self-awareness and shifts the focus from merely feeling to doing something meaningful. We discuss how teenage years are a time for emotional exploration and how parents should maintain a balance by acknowledging emotions without amplifying them.

Parents, take heart—it's okay to model changing your mind and showing adaptability. Join us for this insightful discussion on nurturing a healthy emotional landscape for your children.

Join host Dr. Bettina Hohnen as she talks to Clinical Psychologist Dr Tara Murphy and asks What’s Just One Thing Parents can do when their child presents with tics. She explains what tics are including Tourette’s Syndrome and how they typically present. The top piece of advice may surprise you—it's not about seeking an immediate cure or fix, but about education and communication. Tara explains more in this bitesize episode, so tune in and if you like what we are doing here, leave a review and share this episode with parents who you think might benefit. 

Books on tics by Tara:

Tic Disorders: A guide for parents and professionals by Uttom Chowdhhury and Tara Murphy, published by Jessica Kingsley Publishing

The Tourettes Survival Kit: tools for young adults with tics by Tara Murphy and Damon Millar, published by Jessica Kingsley Publishing

In this episode, Jo Steer joins us to discuss actionable steps parents can take while awaiting an ADHD assessment for their child.

We highlight the importance of adopting a needs-based approach, focusing on each child’s unique strengths and challenges. Parents can access valuable resources from organizations like the ADHD Foundation (https://www.adhdfoundation.org.uk/) and ADDISS (http://www.addiss.co.uk/) without needing a formal diagnosis. We cover key strategies for identifying and addressing struggles such as impulsivity, hyperactivity, and emotional regulation.

Jo says that while medication can be helpful, it’s always advised to combine that with behavioural intervention - making small adjustments to the child’s environment that can really help. One key bit of advice is to talk to your child’s teacher to get them onboard to help. We touch on how ADHD can present differently in girls, often leading to underdiagnosis due to less visible hyperactivity.

Understanding the individual nature of ADHD and tailoring strategies to meet each child's specific needs is crucial during the waiting period.

In this episode of the podcast Just One Thing For Parents, we tackle the question of how parents can help their children develop a healthy relationship with screens.

Our guest, Dr Naomi Fisher challenges the traditional focus on screen time, which can become somewhat of an obsession for well intentioned parents. Doing this distracts from more important considerations when it comes to screens, such as what children are actually doing on the screen, how they connect with their activities and helping them to develop those all-important self-regulations skills.

She encourages parents to engage with their kids’ screen-based interests rather than just limiting time,  showing an interest and perhaps joining them. When we look closely, there is usually a developmental value of children's chosen screen activities. As we share interests with them we build trust in our relationship which will serve them and our relationship (and therefore influence on them) well in the long term.

Ultimately, the message is to join children in their digital experiences, validating their interests and building a foundation for communication as they grow.

This week I was joined by Courtney Adamo who is the mother of five children ranging in age from 7 to 19 years of age. Courtney has created courses and provides resources for parents including a great programme for parents of tweens and teens that I contributed to when I wrote The incredible teenage brain.

I asked her the question ‘What’s just one think you’ve learned about parenting so many children”. She emphasises how each child requires personalized strategies due to their distinct temperaments, needs and developmental stage. Effective communication with one child may not work with another, so we have to tune into what they need from us. She also encourages parents to view parenting as a journey of self-discovery, reflecting on personal triggers and growth opportunities presented by each child.

Courtney is so warm and engaging in how she discusses her children and I know all parents will learn something from listening to her.

Episode 4: When Your Child is Struggling, This Will Really Help with Anita Cleare

Join host v in this insightful episode of Just One Thing for Parents with special guest Anita Cleare, a psychotherapist, parenting expert, coach, speaker, writer, and co-founder of the Positive Parenting project. Dr. Hohnen poses the question to Anita: "If you could pick just one thing that you think is important for parents to remember to do when their child is struggling, what would it be?" Discover Anita's expert advice and the one crucial action parents can take. Tune in for new episodes for a quick, helpful tip on Just One Thing for Parents. Subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with fellow parents. 

Today I was joined by Dr Tara Porter, Clinical psychologist and author of You Don’t Understand Me: The Young Woman’s Guide To Life. Tara has a journal book to accompany You Don’t Understand Me coming out in August this year and a new book coming out next year called Good Enough: A Manifesto of Modern Parenting.  

We talk about eating and how to help our children and teenagers nurture a wholesome relationship with food. Her insights are especially valuable in today’s world where abundance can often lead to complexity in our dietary choices.

Whether you're a parent, educator, or anyone navigating the food landscape of modern life, today’s discussion promises to equip you with practical advice to foster a healthy approach to eating. Join us as we explore these fundamental themes with profound implications for our daily lives.

Episode 1: How to Support an Anxious Child with Dawn Huebner

In this episode of Just One Thing for Parents, join host Dr Bettina Hohnen and special guest Dawn Huebner, author, parent coach, and anxiety management expert, as they explore the crucial topic of supporting anxious children. In just 5-7 minutes, discover practical insights backed by science and real-life experience. Tune in for new episodes for a quick, helpful tip on Just One Thing for Parents. Subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with fellow parents. 

In this episode, we explore how parents can support teenagers in building resilience through healthy stress. Matilda, an expert in evidence-based parenting, explains that healthy stress involves manageable challenges that help teens develop coping skills for future difficulties, without exposing them to toxic stress or leaving them unsupported.

We discuss the science behind this approach, including studies on squirrel monkeys and controlled tree growth, highlighting the benefits of mild stress exposure. Matilda also shares practical strategies for recognizing normal stress versus serious issues, emphasizing the importance of understanding your child’s unique behavior patterns.

In today’s social media-driven world, where normal variation in emotions can be misinterpreted as disordered, this conversation provides valuable insights for fostering resilience and raising confident, capable teens.

Professor Roz Shafran is a highly experienced Clinical Psychologist who really knows about what works for parents. She talks about the power of problem solving as a parent and problem with our kids. It is not only incredibly helpful for us to approach something we feel stuck on but when we do it with kids we built their future ability to manage their lives/ Most importantly, it works.

Roz talks us through the the IDEAL method—Identify the problem, Describe the outcome, Explore strategies, Anticipate outcomes, Act, and Look and learn. I always think a template is helpful for parents to find new skills in these highly emotive situations.

Roz talks us through some everyday examples all parents will struggle with - when a child won’t leave a playdate or with a child who has an eating disorder. This is a technique parents can use when they are struggling but also can be used with adolescents to collaboratively problem solve how they could find a solution to their difficulties.

It’s an episode that everyone can get something from. 

In this episode - the third in this mini-series about technology - we delve deeper into the relationship between technology and young people, emphasizing the importance of children’s ages when managing their use of social media and phones. Beth Kerr, a teacher by profession and consultant on wellbeing learning and digital habits, joins us. We discuss how understanding the science of the teenage brain and using that knowledge enables adults to protect and guide teenagers.

Beth highlights that developing skills, such as managing impulses and resisting the temptation of phone notifications, takes time. We also tackle the recent movement led by Jonathon Haidt, advocating for a ban on mobile phones for under-16s. We debate whether such a ban is sensible and feasible, with Beth providing a critical analysis of Haidt's research. She argues that his solutions, while well-intentioned, are overly simplistic, impractical, and fail to consider the individual needs of young people.

This episode is essential listening for parents and teachers, who are navigating the complex world of social media, phones, and teenagers.

In this episode, Dr Laurie Faith begins by breaking down the concept of executive functions, using relatable analogies to demystify these essential but often misunderstood brain-based skills. She delves into actionable strategies for parents to help strengthen their young children's executive function skills, emphasizing that early childhood is a critical period for this development.

Laurie's key advice is for parents to be fully present and engaged with their children. This means putting away phones and immersing in a variety of experiences together to nurture their child's growing mind.

Tune in for invaluable insights and practical tips to support your child's cognitive development from an early age.

In this insightful episode, Bettina is joined by psychotherapist Anastasis about how parents can effectively support teenagers facing body image concerns. Anastasis discusses the challenges of talking about bodies as kids grow, particularly in the teenage years in context of what is going on in the teenage brain. This can be a tricky conversation for parents to start and something many parents might avoid for fear of saying the wrong thing. There is often high sensitivity and even shame around their body for teenagers.

He advocates for normalising conversations focused on acceptance rather than pressure to 'love' one's body. He encourages parents to begin tentatively and start with observations, aiming to match where the young person is in terms of their privacy and openness. Try to avoid polarisation - talking about it all the time or not at all. This will be different for individuals, depending on their profile, whether there is neurodiversity present or sensory sensitivity.

He recommends parents talking about their own experience, both the pride they felt about their body as a teen and the challenges. All of this creates a supportive environment for their teenagers' body image journey.

In today's episode, we're diving into the midst of revision season, a crucial time for many students in the UK and around the world. Join us as we explore essential strategies for parents aiming to effectively support their children through the pressures of exam preparation.

Our guest, Lucinda, is a seasoned teacher who brings a treasure trove of tips and tricks, including a comprehensive plan she's implemented for her own son. We discuss the challenges faced by students at both ends of the spectrum—from those who are disengaged to the perfectionists consumed by revision. How can parents help their children strike a healthy balance during this stressful period? Tune in for insightful advice and practical ideas that can make a difference.

In this episode, we dive into strategies for parents to support their children's use of AI in learning. Our guest, Daniel Emmerson, who recently published a comprehensive guide on integrating AI into school life, shares his expertise. We discuss the benefits and potential downsides of AI in education and emphasize the importance of exploring AI together with your kids rather than restricting it out of fear. Daniel provides valuable resources and websites for families to explore. He advocates for families to develop a comprehensive plan for AI use, similar to internet and phone guidelines, to ensure it aligns with educational goals. Packed with examples and practical insights, this episode offers a roadmap for successfully navigating AI with children at home. Below are links to some of the resources he recommends: 

Mid Journey AI: https://midjourney.co/generator

Common Sense Media: https://www.commonsensemedia.org/

Goodnotes research on generative AI in schools: https://www.goodnotes.com/research/generative-ai-in-schools

I was joined by Sue Knowles who is a Consultant Clinical Psychologist and author of many books including "My Anxiety Handbook," a highly recommended resource for parents of anxious children. In this episode, we dive into the critical topic of parental emotional regulation and its impact on children's well-being. We'll explore the concept of 'emotional contagion' and how important it is for parents to be aware of how their own emotional reactions impact their child.

Listeners will gain practical strategies for self-regulation and learn why addressing their own emotional needs is essential in effectively supporting their children through the ups and downs of family life. Tune in for an informative discussion filled with valuable insights and advice for parents.

In this enlightening episode, we're joined by Professor Will Mandy to discuss a profoundly important topic: identifying and supporting girls with autism.

Professor Mandy highlights a critical first step for parents who suspect their daughter might be on the autism spectrum: the significance of a thorough assessment for providing essential understanding and support. He brings attention to the diagnostic challenges and biases girls face, where their symptoms are often misinterpreted or overlooked, potentially leading to misdiagnosis and a lack of needed support. Exploring how autism presents differently in girls compared to boys, we delve into why many girls go undiagnosed and the mental health vulnerabilities they face, particularly during their transition from primary to secondary school.

A significant part of our discussion centers on "masking," a strategy where autistic individuals hide their true selves to blend in, a practice especially common among girls that can lead to increased anxiety and depression. Professor Mandy advocates for the importance of a timely diagnosis, allowing girls to embrace their true identities.

Tune in to uncover the nuances of autism in girls and how we can better support and understand their journeys.

In this compelling episode, Bettina sits down with Dr. Anna Hutchinson, a Clinical Psychologist specializing in adolescence, to delve into the complex world of teenage identity formation. Dr. Hutchinson shares her insights into the challenges teens face as they explore who they are, what they're passionate about, and who they aspire to be as adults.

With identity often being in flux for many teenagers, parents can find themselves wondering how best to respond and support their teen. Dr. Hutchinson offers invaluable advice, answering the crucial question: What is just one thing parents can do in discussion with teens about their identity? Her approach is universally applicable, providing a crucial starting point for any parent navigating these transformative years with their teenager.

In this insightful episode of Just One Thing, Bettina chats with Anne Ozsivadjian about the important journey that follows an autism diagnosis. If you're a parent navigating this new chapter, this conversation is for you.

Anne breaks down what to expect after your child receives an autism diagnosis, emphasizing the vital difference between a diagnosis and a detailed formulation that gives you a better understanding of your child's unique needs. She encourages parents to take their time processing the diagnosis and to tap into reputable resources.

You'll discover practical tips on how to communicate the diagnosis to your child in a way that feels right for their age and understanding. Plus, Anne shares valuable strategies for making your home environment more autism-friendly, ensuring your child feels safe and supported. 

By the end of this episode, you'll have actionable ideas and resources that can help you and your child navigate this journey together, including ways to find professional support and connect with other families. Join us for this enlightening conversation and empower yourself with the knowledge to support your child every step of the way!

Episode 2: The Number One Dilemma Parents Bring to their Child's Psychotherapist with Cynthia Rousso

Join host Dr. Bettina Hohnen in this insightful episode of Just One Thing for Parents with special guest Cynthia Rousso. As a psychotherapist, parenting expert, coach, and speaker, Cynthia shares her expertise on the number one dilemma parents often bring to their child's psychotherapist. Tune in for new episodes for a quick, helpful tip on Just One Thing for Parents. Subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with fellow parents. 

In this enlightening episode, Sheila Redfern joined Bettina for a conversation that delves deep. Sheila is an expert in an approach known as Reflective Parenting. She explains that we often find ourselves caught up in trying to change our child's behavior and forget to check in with ourselves, yet that's where the magic can happen. Sheila introduces the concept of "mentalizing," which is all about reflecting on our own feelings as well as those of our children to create deeper connections.

This episode was recorded the same week as the highly talked about Netflix series Adolescence. Sheila and Bettina observe through discussing this series that even the most loving parents can unintentionally slip into 'benign neglect' by not being curious about or engaging with their children's worlds. Sheila has some tried and tested ways to help parents begin to use this approach with their children. Ultimately, Sheila drives home the point that emotional regulation is essential for fostering positive behavioral change. By prioritizing our emotional well-being, we equip ourselves to better support our children on their journeys.

Please check out Sheila’s latest book “How Do You Hug a Cactus? Reflective Parenting with Teenagers in Mind” published in March 2024

In this heartfelt episode, we welcome Dr. Rebecca Chilvers, a leading clinical psychologist who works with children, parents, and staff in neonatal care. Dr. Chilvers talks about just one thing she wishes every parent navigating the daunting world of neonatal care could know.

She paints a vivid picture of the emotional rollercoaster parents embark on, feeling as though they've tumbled through a trapdoor into a realm where their role seems unclear in the maze of medical procedures. Amidst the overwhelm of emotions like guilt, sadness, fear, and uncertainty, Dr. Chilvers offers a beacon of hope in her guidance for parents to remember "You are the most important person for your baby."

She encourages parents to focus on what they can do, seek and accept support from their surrounding healthcare team, and cling to their core values as parents – those things that define what truly matters to them. Navigating this challenging journey may feel isolating, but Dr. Chilvers assures parents they are not alone and that support is within reach.

This is an episode for any parent whose children are ‘demand avoidant’ (i.e. resist being told what to do). Actually all kids have a drive for autonomy particularly as they get older, but some kids (often those on the autism spectrum) are highly avoidant of any request or demand by an adult and this can cause huge family problems.

Responding to a listener's request, Bettina interviewed Linda Murphy with a big focus on the concept of declarative language. Linda explains what declarative language is and how it encourages young people to cooperate more effectively. She discusses the numerous benefits of this communication style for children's development and how it strengthens the parent-child relationship.

Tune in to hear as Bettina and Linda explore this powerful approach to communication.

In this episode, we explore the best strategies for managing teenagers' social media use with insights from expert Dr Marc Tibber. He advises parents to stay curious and foster open conversations, avoiding punitive measures that can drive teens to hide their usage. Instead, focus on understanding how they use social media and its effects on their lives. Try to focus on the quality and purpose of social media use rather than just screen time, and recognize that it can foster connections and offer opportunities for young people that are really positive.

He advises parents to discuss the impact of social media on sleep and lifestyle with their teen and to remember, that parent’s own behavior serves as a model for their child, so we must be mindful of our actions. Also, understand that the impact of social media on mental health varies; address issues of social comparisons and support your teen in developing self-awareness and reflection skills.

Tune in as Marc provides a thoughtful and nuanced perspective on navigating social media's impact on teenagers.

Episode 3: Helping Our Children Manage Trauma with David Trickey

Join host Dr. Bettina Hohnen in this new episode of Just One Thing for Parents with special guest David Trickey, a Clinical Psychologist specializing in working with traumatized children and their families. David is co-director of the UK Trauma Council and lectures at the Anna Freud National Centre for Children and Families. He is known for his talent in translating complex ideas into accessible tools for families. Tune in for new episodes for a quick, helpful tip on Just One Thing for Parents. Subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with fellow parents.