Humanist Trek (Sarah Ray & Allie Ashmead)

When Kirk and Spock are medically converted to fish people, they discover a whole civilization of fish people in danger of quakes. The Youngs and the Olds have different ideas about a lot of things, and their solution to their differences is not something we expected from Saturday morning / after school special style television!

The shot clock is running to find out how to stop Kirk and the gang from rapidly aging. How many times do we let Grandpa run his starship into the neighbor's mailbox before we take away his car keys? Is American Capitalism to blame for our lack of respect for the elderly?

Snoop Claus visits the studio for the weediest Christmas ever!  Thanks to everybody who sent us gifts, you're the real MVP's.

Time to crack out those old college textbooks on Greek mythology!  It's the episode that asks, "What if our idea of god(s) came from aliens?"

If that time capsule your class did in 1987 was opened in a billion years, what would they think of your polaroid picture from your summer vacation to Gatorland, some poisoned raw meat, and a Bop It!?

Kirk & crew drop in to an isolated Earth outpost only to find it bombed out. Later, in what felt like a completely different episode, GORNS! The Metrons force Captains Kirk and Sleestack to work their shit out with a good ol’ Star Trek fight instead of talking it out because #WagonTrainToTheStars.

Did Star Trek predict Winamp visualizations? Are the Metrons really as advanced as they claim to be? Is Kirk a micromanager?

The Enterprise visits the old farm where Data grew up, hoping to learn about Data's past. But when Star Trek introduces an "Adam and Stuart Chandler" dynamic into this Soap Opera in Space, the crew face almost certain destruction. Do androids have SSD's? Is it really that bad to hard shutdown your android? Is Lore also "fully functional"?

AND - A special guest joins us to take on Becca's Impossible Starfleet Academy Quiz Question!

Support the production of Tilly and Susan’s short film “Long Away” at https://tinyurl.com/longawayshort

While visiting Planet Disney Ranch, the crew of the Enterprise get so high on flower spores that only a good ol' fashioned Star Trek Fight will do. Are humans destined to work toward paradise forever? And why does this show spend so much energy on this "paradise" narrative?

Play along with our Starfleet Academy Cadet Challenge using the hashtag #StarfleetChallenge on social media!

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Support the show at patreon.com/humanisttrek
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Starfleet Officer maker by @marci_bloch 

When Star Trek revisits the 1940's mob scene, Picard and some friends get trapped in a malfuctioning Holodeck with the safeties off. While young Wesley rewires the controls, a diplomatic deadline quickly approaches. Will Boy Wonder save the day (again)?

Play along with our Starfleet Academy Cadet Challenge -- Share this episode using the hashtag #StarfleetChallenge on social media!

• 8:41 - Teaser
• 16:16 - Act 1
• 27:02 - Act 2
• 36:01 - Act 3
• 47:08- Act 4
• 53:55 - Act 5
• 1:01:31 - Humanist Themes
• 1:08:39 - Patron Shout Outs
• 1:09:28 - Starfleet Academy Cadet Challenge

When Q offers Riker an invitation to join the cult, Riker is tempted. But when the power starts corrupting absolutely, Picard and crew must remind Riker of his humanity. Would you have saved that dead child? And what was a child doing at a mining operation, anyway? Doesn't the Federation have child labor laws?

Play along with our Starfleet Academy Cadet Challenge -- Share this episode using the hashtag #StarfleetChallenge on social media!

• 6:20 - Teaser
• 12:03 - Act 1
• 21:39 - Act 2
• 34:46 - Act 3
• 39:58 - Act 4
• 49:59 - Act 5
• 58:36 - Humanist Themes
• 1:05:49 - Patron Shout Outs
• 1:07:45 - Starfleet Academy Cadet Challenge

When the Enterprise stumbles upon a planet whose inhabitants are long gone but who also left their Brinks Home Security System armed, crew members start dropping left and right, victims of a randy murderous mystery woman.

When Shari Lewis puts down her puppets, the Enterprise bumps into a corporeal life form who just want to be where the people are so much that they're killing everyone in their path to find some bodies. Did they kill the Zetarians or are they just off terrorizing more people? Did Scotty's new love just get dropped off at the library never to be seen again?

While Riker endulges in some holoporn, an alien race of non-binaries hijack the D in order to save their homeworld. But when Picard drops into the Holodeck and ruins the mood, both Riker and Picard are held hostage by a Real Doll.

Bill Riker's hard-on gets crushed when Deanna Troi's long lost fiance shows up, but before any knots can be tied, an old plauge ship shows up threatening to give everyone small pox. Will the wedding go on? How many Steve Miller Band jokes can one podcast make?

Play along with our Starfleet Academy Cadet Challenge -- Share this episode using the hashtag #StarfleetChallenge on social media!

• 5:40 - Teaser
• 10:02 - Act 1
• 23:36 - Act 2
• 33:43 - Act 3
• 43:21 - Act 4
• 50:23 - Act 5
• 1:01:48 - Humanist Themes
• 1:06:06 - Patron Shout Outs
• 1:07:42 - Starfleet Academy Cadet Challenge

A transporter malfunction sends Kirk, McCoy, Scotty, and Uhura to an alternate universe filled with distrust, espionage, assassinations, and some midriff uniforms. Spock is consistently logical and Uhura is a total badass in any universe!

When a reclusive alien race becomes unable to have children, they steal some from the Enterprise. While Wesley leads a rebellion on the planet, the adults on the D science the problem. Will a 3rd grade recorder concert convince the aliens to let the children go?

When the Galileo Shuttlecraft is hijacked by an energy being, Kirk discovers Zefram Cochrane trapped on a planet with a jukebox that only plays Roy Orbison's "Ooby Dooby". Will our heroes be able to rescue this historical hero?

When the Enterprise discovers their sister ship Exeter in orbit of a planet, they find the Exeter crew has been raptured.  What’s “Left Behind” is just piles of crystal meth. Meanwhile, in a different episode of Star Trek: The Original Series, some people are doing some performative jingoistic American Christian nationalism.  How are these two stories connected?  Very tenuously.

When Uhura doesn't follow the young Chinese boy's instructions and gets her Tribble wet, Fred, Scoob, and the gang find themselves waist deep in a furry mystery!

In the penultimate episode of Star Trek: The Original Series, KSM find themselves on a planet whose people have time warped into the past to escape their planet's sun going nova. Is Kirk a witch? Will Spock finally put McCoy in his place? What happens if these people fuck up the space time continuum?

When the Enterprise tracks down a rogue band of Space Hippies, Star Trek gets baked out of its mind and takes a big swing at the counterculture movements of the 1960's. Why haven't we eaten the rich yet? Is the grass greener on the other religion? Do you reach, man?

Star Trek: The Next Generation Season 1 (aka The Original Series Season 4) continues this week when the Enterprise is thrown to a faraway galaxy by a mysterious alien. When the alien becomes ill, everyone on board must Care Bear Stare to get us home.

Play along with our Starfleet Academy Cadet Challenge -- Share this episode using the hashtag #StarfleetChallenge on social media!

Adam Nimoy, former lawyer and director (ST:TNG "Rascals" and "Timescape") talks about his new book, "The Most Human: Reconciling With My Father, Leonard Nimoy". Adam discusses the cycles of difficult relationships between fathers and sons, the cycles of addiction, how playing Spock impacted Leonard's parenting, and shares how the tools of 12 Step Recovery helped both he and Leonard find ways to reconcile in Leonard's final years.

Purchase your copy of "The Most Human: Reconciling with my Father, Leonard Nimoy" from BookShop.org using our special link to support Adam, your local bookstores, and your favorite Star Trek Podcast!

If you find yourself in need of support, please reach out to one of these great organizations. And if one doesn't work for you, keep trying! They all approach addiction a bit differently, keep looking until you find the right fit for you. We believe in you!

Alcoholics Anonymous
Narcotics Anonymous
LifeRing Secular Recovery
SMART Recovery
SOS Sobriety

When Kirk and an old lover get Freaky Friday body swapped, the crew must uncover the truth. Why can't women be starship captains? Why haven't you joined our team or donated to support suicide prevention yet?

Join our hike team or Donate at: humanisttrek.com/hike

Just how far would humans go to ensure our survival as a species? What would we kill to save ourselves, and where's that line? Why aren't we willing to try new things? What's Sarah's "clicker story"?

When the Enterprise finds an old recluse man with a daughter-ish/lover-ish android Real Doll, Sarah and Allie almost quit the podcast.

Spock hijacks the Enterprise and Gene Roddenberry hijacks old footage to bring us this thrilling first classic Star Trek clip show.

When powerful aliens capture Kirk and the gang with another Landru device, the crew defeat them with irritation, jealousy, and boners. Roll for initiative!

It's the 1-year Anniversary of Humanist Trek! Allie and Sarah's bodies are taken over by ancient aliens that may be our great great great grandparents, Dr. Pulaski's excited to host an alien katra, and Nurse Chapel finally gets Spock inside her. OH MYYY.

When Sarah and Allie are depressed and not excited about decorating for Christmas, the Ghost of Christmas Past yoinks them back to the past - 1881 in Tombstone, Arizona, to be exact. Will this stupid episode of Star Trek reignite their Christmas spirit? Not likely.

When the Enterprise finds yet another planet being run by a computer, our heroes must once again debate the merits of freeing a population who appears stagnant by human standards against the merits of allowing a culture to make their own choices and develop as they see fit. It’s the episode that asks, “What would happen if we destroyed this people’s god?” but never answers it.

People's fear of automation operates on "Sarah's Pendulum Theory of Everything". In the 60's? Vehicle Manufacturing. Today? AI. Can AI and the like coexist with capitalism or will ChatGPT take over the starship and start torpedoing the shit out of everything?

When Captain Pike is dropped into the Human Exhibit on Planet Zoo, Allie and Sarah are forced to face not just the ethics of zoos, but also their pets.

Find all our socials at humanisttrek.com
Support the show at patreon.com/humanisttrek
Pick up your merch at humanisttrek.com/merch

Starfleet Officer maker by @marci_bloch 

James Kirk, Jeff Bezos, and Elon Musk walk into a bar. Speaking of, this episode of Star Trek: The Original Series sets the bar pretty high. This week, Kirk and the gang stumble into a scathing indictment on the class inequality in American and around the world. Is capitalism killing us? Are the people who are most subjugated essentially forced to become criminal to survive? Again... why haven't we eaten the rich yet?

Here's a little sample of our introductory episode!  Episode 1 drops on #StarTrekDay 8 Sept 2022, but patrons get every episode early!  We hope you'll join us on this Star Trek rewatch journey!  #LLAP

Find all our socials at humanisttrek.com
Support the show at patreon.com/humanisttrek

While investigating a strange rock donut portal, McCoy, OD'd on space molly, leaps back in time and butterfly effects the Federation's very existence away.  To put things right, Kirk and Spock go back in time to stop McCoy from getting the Sports Almanac and ruining the future.  It's the episode that puts Roddenberry's hopeful vision of the future front and center in stark contrast with 1930's Depression-era New York.

From new tattoos to new friends (including Star Trek's Randy James!!), Allie and Sarah had a great time as usual at RetroMania 2024 in Aurora, Colorado. Then, when the women of Star Trek are finally given the lead, will they choose a planet full of men or bears? Does this episode make up for the Enterprise stranding Melllvar in the first episode of Star Trek: The Animated Series? Can we please have more Uhura in command?

As mentioned in this episode:

Allegoric Art Tattoo

• http://www.allegoricart.com/

• https://www.instagram.com/allegoricarttattooing/

• Nick - https://www.instagram.com/nickpuma/

• Jes - https://www.instagram.com/jesliheraguilar/

Linnea Tanner, Author

• https://www.linneatanner.com/

What’s the difference between justice and revenge? What does Kodos “The Executioner” deserve for his crimes? Did he have good intentions-and does that even matter?

When the Enterprise finds itself in the "Little Shop of Horrors" universe, Sarah and Allie create a new Pokémon and take on racial supremacy.

When Kirk and Company take a newly discovered alien on a police ridealong, they all end up captured by lizard people. Will they escape? Can they diplomacy their way out? What will become of the Lizard People of Delta Theta 3, anyway?

When Kirk and the Gang find the missing scientists dead, they also discover some cousins of the bootyheads from the pilot. With a sun going nova imminent, can good ol' human emotion save a planet full of mute aliens that we only ever see one of? Did they even try saving any of the other aliens on the other planets in this system? Why don't people just ask for help?

When Klingons take control of Organia, a strategic planet between them and the Federation, Kirk rolls in to make the argument that while they, too, are basically colonizers, they're not as bad as those other colonizers.  Does the Federation's lack of effort around trying to understand both the Organians and Klingons make war too easy?  Shouldn't war be the last resort?

Patrons Sara and Russell join Sarah, Allie, and Becca for a fun game of TrekWord!

Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):
https://uppbeat.io/t/richard-bodgers/bingo-crazy
License code: PECEC1BMQXOB7SLE

Chasing his planet-killing whale, Commodore Ahab makes the ultimate sacrifice in an attempt to save the Enterprise crew from a weapon so powerful, it would destroy all sides in a war. Sometimes Star Trek doesn't hide it's themes in sci-fi. Occasionally they come right out and say it.

On this episode of CSI: Argelius, Piglet investigates the suspicious murder of a dancer from the nudie bar and Scotty's the primary suspect.

When Kirk’s brother doesn’t answer the phone, the Enterprise finds an infestation of parasitic pancakes.  When Spock gets inseminated by one, the crew must find a way to … genocide a whole species?

While visiting Planet Disney Ranch, the crew of the Enterprise get so high on flower spores that only a good ol' fashioned Star Trek Fight will do. Are humans destined to work toward paradise forever? And why does this show spend so much energy on this "paradise" narrative?

When the Enterprise falls into the coat pocket of the universe, astrophysics Ph.D. Erin Macdonald beams up to debunk the junk and make us laugh! Will we successfully network a Mac and a PC? Does Scotty have a box of old cables and adapters? Will this episode of Star Trek: The Afterschool Special get us all to set aside our differences and get along already?

Have you ever wondered why Star Trek doesn't usually do "holiday specials"? This episode holds the answer! It's the episode that asks, "What if Star Trek did a Halloween episode?" The answer is not great.

When the Enterprise gets stuck in a Hamilton Gifts Star Trek Snow Globe from 1993 after discovering a whale probe, the crew is transported into a "Legends of the Hidden Temple of Doom" game show hosted by yet another alien god wannabe.

Do we remember anything about Star Trek: The Saturday Morning Special? What are we looking forward to in TNG? Loads of listener mail PLUS a special announcement? ENGAGE!

When the Enterprise is hijacked by a sketchy new crewman, Kirk is reunited with Harcourt Fenton Mudd. Would you be tempted to put your brain in a robot body? Just how many different versions of one woman do you actually need? Which model of robot is into butt stuff? We're tackling all the hard questions on this episode!

The TOS writers once again explore the idea "What would have happened if 'x' hadn't fallen?" Not 1920's Chicago. Not Nazi Germany. No, this episode of Star Trek: The Original Series begs the question, "Men: How often do you think about the Roman Empire?"

When "Honey, I Shrunk the Enterprise Crew" kicks off, they discover a civilization in need. What's a teeny tiny species gotta do to get some attention 'round here!?

What's Allie's great idea? Is Data's cat Spot canonically also a hot chick? Why do time travelers always act powerless? Will Kirk allow Marty to make sure his parents bang at the Enchantment Under the Sea Dance? What are the rules of time travel anyway? How short can a miniskirt get? This episode asks more questions than it answers.

Star Trek writers go on a mushroom trip and forget almost everything they know about science. Do you experience turbulence in space? What exactly is the scientific definition of “winking out”? It’s the episode that sends Captain Ahab across universes to catch his… other… Captain Ahab.  This one is weird, y’all.

When Kirk suffers from amnesia, will the big Manhattan musical go on? How many awful "native American" tropes can one 1960's TV series cram into one episode? Is the transporter a killing machine? Find out this week on Humanist Trek!

When another Melllvar cloud being starts eating planets, will our heroes shoot it or try to make contact? Why do we allow human ego to drive our treatment of other life forms? Will Allie ever watch Chip 'n' Dale's Rescue Rangers?

LAST CHANCE!  Join our hike team or Donate at: humanisttrek.com/hike

How much do we even remember from Season 2?  And what do we have to look forward to next season?

When Dr. Pulaski returns, 1960's beauty standards come under fire.

When the Enterprise and a Ferengi ship get trapped by an energy-sucking planet, the diplomatic approach is "Better Together". But when they trigger an ancient alien Brinks Home Security System, Riker must answer the challenge. Is fear our greatest enemy? Were the Metrons part of the Tkon Empire?

Play along with our Starfleet Academy Cadet Challenge -- Share this episode using the hashtag #StarfleetChallenge on social media!

When an old Earth probe goes on a killing spree, Kirk must play logic chess to keep from being destroyed, too.  It's the episode that has nothing to do with a changeling despite being titled "The Changeling".

When the Enterprise encounters a vulva-headed alien masquerading as a lost human, the crew are lured into a Romulan trap. Outgunned with no shields, will our heroes escape? Will the Vendor unload all of those worthless Pop Vinyls before the end of the con? Could Vulcans really just be Vendorians?

Star Trek often asks the question, "What would a civilization based on 'XYZ' look like?" This week it's the ancient Greeks and KSM find themselves in the position of defending against another powerful alien species drunk on their own power.

When Harry Mudd shows back up with a love potion, will Spock and Chapel finally hook up? Isn't it somewhat frightening how much like a certain former US President Mudd is like? What crazy scheme will he cook up next?

When the Enterprise Crew negotiate with a racist stereotype, Tasha Yar must fight to the death. But when they pull an Amok Time, King Jaffe Joffer, ruler of Zamunda threatens to cancel the vaccine deal.

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Gayish Podcast Episode on Humanism
• UK Gay Humanists

Play along with our Starfleet Academy Cadet Challenge -- Share this episode using the hashtag #StarfleetChallenge on social media!

When McCoy is arrested for visiting a plague upon the people of Dramia II, Kirk and Spock must find the evidence to exonerate him before the people of Dramia drop the hammer of justice. Does anyone actually believe he's innocent? Are we actually feeling something positive for McCoy?

When DaiMon Ahab of the Ferengi turns up with Picard's old ship, Picard begins having headaches and reliving an old battle. Is there ever profit in revenge? Will we ever cure headaches? Is Dr. Crusher the Dom to Picard's Sub?

Play along with our Starfleet Academy Cadet Challenge -- Share this episode using the hashtag #StarfleetChallenge on social media!

• 4:56 - Teaser

• 8:50 - Act 1

• 22:41 - Act 2

• 38:16 - Act 3

• 46:10 - Act 4

• 54:48 - Act 5

• 1:02:26 - Humanist Themes

• 1:06:19 - Patron Shout Outs

• 1:08:19 - Starfleet Academy Cadet Challenge

The Enterprise arrives at a planet to sign a mining agreement to find the Klingons have beat them to the punch. Chaos ensues as the leader is murdered and his very pregnant wife appoints McCoy as the new baby daddy.

First, we wrap up the weekend at Fort Collins Comic Con. Then, when KSM become the zoo animals, we revisit our discussion from the very first Star Trek episode "The Cage". Are zoos a net good? What of animal autonomy? Will Becca ever recover from hitting that groundhog?

• USS Tiburon - The International Star Trek Fan Association
• Siren Sundries
• Robin's Nerd Supplies
• Thomas Freeman, Droid Builder (R2-F7)
• Fort Collins Public Media
• Dr. Erin Macdonald

When Star Trek revisits the Plane'arium storyline, the proverbial inmates have taken over the asylum led by a shapeshifting madman. Once again questions of rehabilitation, medication, and individual rights and liberty come to the fore. What effect does this new medication have on the inmate? Do inmates have the right of refusal of "care" in Star Trek?

When genetically modified tribbles send Sarah on a rant about the many misconceptions about "GMO", Allie must try to get the pod shuttle back on course while also dodging hungry tribbles and angry Klingons. Will we get to the end of the episode? Will there be no tribble at all?

As mentioned in this episode:

SciBabe

• https://scibabe.com/

When Star Trek: The Next Generation revisits an old TOS episode, people get blown out airlocks and Tasha gets blown by Data. But when the cure Those Old Scientists used doesn't work this time, a drunk teenager and android must fight their intoxication to save the day.

Play along with our Starfleet Academy Cadet Challenge -- Share this episode using the hashtag #StarfleetChallenge on social media!

Leonard Crofoot (Trent) joins us for this review and discussion of TNG's "Angel One"!

When the Enterprise visits a matriarchal society while looking for survivors from a Federation freighter, they find themselves in the middle of a gender revolution. But when the survivors refuse to leave, Trent's Angels sentence them to death. How hard is it for a society to adapt? How hard is Riker in Mistress Beata's bed?

Learn more about Leonard Crofoot at LeonardCrofoot.com.

Allie & Sarah introduce themselves and talk about their connection to Star Trek, humanism, and why this podcast even exists.

Support the show at patreon.com/humanisttrek

Pick up your merch at threadless.com/humanisttrek

Starfleet Officer maker by @marci_bloch 

In the final installment of Star Trek: The Saturday Morning Special, the Enterprise gets pulled into a nove into a universe where everything is backwards. Do babies give birth to old people? Do old people just spontaneously appear in their La-Z-Boy recliner suddenly alive? Stop overthinking a cartoon and let Becca's sex operator voice twist your widdershins!

This week Star Trek asks, "What if what humans thought were witches and devils were actually aliens?" If some people are simply innately driven and motivated by fear, how do we leverage our own humanism to meet them where they are and drive society forward instead of backward?

While distracted by side boob and peek-a-boo butt cheek on yet another paradise planet, young Wesley accidentally breaks a law and is to be put to death. Lawyer Picard must argue with a less developed species for his freedom.

Is ignorance of the law a valid defense? Why didn't the Prime Directive stop us from visiting this planet in the first place? Isn't the injustice that we don't just provide care to all people as a right and not that Mario's brother was radicalized by dealing with the US heath "care" system to the point where he shot a healthcare exec? Murder is wrong, and a crime -- what of justice?

Play along with our Starfleet Academy Cadet Challenge -- Share this episode using the hashtag #StarfleetChallenge on social media!

• 8:06 - Teaser

• 12:56 - Act 1

• 27:36 - Act 2

• 39:34 - Act 3

• 45:30 - Act 4

• 57:53 - Act 5

• 1:12:45 - Humanist Themes

• 1:22:28 - Patron Shout Outs

• 1:25:38 - Starfleet Academy Cadet Challenge

When the D visits its first Melllvar cloud, mysterious things start happening to some of the crew. But when Picard himself is beamed away as energy, Data must assume the persona of Sherlock Holmes to unravel the mystery.

Will the "one weird transporter trick" make any more appearances? Were these two separate stories smashed together like peanut butter and chocolate? And what the #^&% is this diamond-shaped "statue" we're supposed to see?

Play along with our Starfleet Academy Cadet Challenge -- Share this episode using the hashtag #StarfleetChallenge on social media!

• Teaser 8:57

• Act 1 17:17

• Act 2 29:27

• Act 3 35:23

• Act 4 45:37

• Act 5 50:50

• Humanist Themes 1:00:06

• Honor the Dead 1:05:24

• Patron Shout Outs 1:06:16

• Starfleet Academy Cadet Challenge 1:07:53

Kirk is marched back to #Starfleet to defend his actions that led to the apparent death of Lt Cmdr Finney. Does Kirk's prosecutor being a former fuck buddy create a conflict of interest? What's a pod, where is it, what does it do, and why would you eject it? Why is Spock fucking off playing chess again? Why are there buttons & switches on the command chair anyway?

When Spock gets the 7 year itch, Kirk must return his friend to Vulcan to marry his betrothed. But T’Pring’s been riding Stonn on the side, and the only way out of the engagement is to make Kirk and Spock fight to the death? I’m glad my first marriage wasn’t so hard to get out of!