Good Times Great Movies (Douglas McCambridge & Jamie Lorello)

Jamie and Doug head off to Camp Little Wolf and make a bet as to who can lose their virginity first. Being an all girls camp, you'd think that Doug would have the advantage...but Jamie's quite charming. Theme music by Jake Murphree find more of his work at: cryptcraft.us

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Upon graduating college and finding out just how terrible the 'real world' is, Jamie decides to commit suicide by opening her apartment windows on a mildly chilly day. You know, to hopefully catch phenomena or something. Oh, and Doug tries to save her by using a blowtorch.

Theme music by Jake Murphree find more of his work at: cryptcraft.us

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Jamie and Doug have their swingin' single lives thrown out of whack when a baby appears outside of their goofy apartment. Doug insists that it's Jamie's child but she asserts that she'd probably remember having given birth.

Theme music by Jake Murphree find more of his work at: cryptcraft.us

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Doug hates Paulie more than any rational person should hate a fictional character and Jamie begins to suspect that her co host may very well be a Communist. Theme music by Jake Murphree find more of his work at: cryptcraft.us

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Jamie and Doug don't do no good in Remedial English and fail the class. That means they have to take it in summer school...bummer! But it's taught by Mr. Schoop, who teaches them about life and love and how to have fun, but very little about English. And Doug and Jamie, like many others in the class, fail again.

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Upon arriving at Space Camp, Jamie strikes up a friendship with a robot who takes commands wayyyyyy to literal and Doug realizes he's actually a valley girl stuck in a man's body. Oh, and they learn a little bit about space exploration.

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Jamie feels a bit under the weather for the recording of this episode but Doug chalks it up to the harsh Mexican sun and offers her a canteen full of sand as refreshment.

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In the not-too-distant-future (I guess) Doug and Jamie's plumber's strike is overshadowed by the unveiling of a robotic killing machine and a police force strike. So, I guess they decide to become the Super Mario Brothers. But Jamie's a woman, sooooooooooo...

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Upon arriving in NYC, Doug and Jamie knock heads, develop amnesia, and go their separate ways. Having no discernible skills, Jamie gets a job as a projectionist as she's slightly better at it than Aidan Quinn and because the wig looks so great on him, Doug becomes a magician's assistant at the world famous 'Magic Club'. And because they never hit their head again, this is how they live out their days.

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Jamie works to convince her co-host that David Bowie is actually the owl that we see at the beginning and end of the film but Doug is too busy trying to win over Jennifer Connelly by making fun of her husband's British accent.

And they both greatly discuss the Goblin King's 'package'.

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After opening a portal to hell in their backyard, Jamie and Doug decide to throw a party. It's your typical 'teen party' for a while but once Jamie's good friend, Levitation Lucy shows up, the real fun can begin!

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Jamie and Doug set about making a documentary on 'Greek Life' when suddenly, two Gorked-Out monsters begin murdering their subjects. Their quick thinking allow them to turn a bit of a profit after recutting it into a horror film and not having to pay the dead people.

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Doug has a beef outfit and a store. Jamie has a beef outfit and a store. Doug's going to try and make money. Jamie's going to try and make money. It's simple and it's fair.

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Doug's new popcorn machine is the talk of the office, overshadowing the orange-transporting laser that Jamie and Blossom's grandpa recently developed. Meanwhile, in the real world, Jamie and Doug muddle through a podcast.

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After nearly 30 years of investigation, LAPD detectives Doug and Jamie are forced to put away the case of missing country music star Lorna Davis forever. While Doug still believes she was abducted and murdered by paparazzi Harry, Jamie has never ruled out her butler Vernon as the prime suspect.

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Jamie comes to harsh realization that she never had a childhood as she was consistently required to make her own dinner...well, at least any time her mom had to put chains on the car. You know, those brutal Cincinnati winters and all. Meanwhile, Doug doesn't understand what a PA system is.

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Jamie and Doug realize their dream of opening a hillbilly-themed restaurant in southern California when within the first week, their outdoor seating area is destroyed by inner city youth. The insurance will cover the damages but they both agree that this isn't a good sign.

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Jamie and Doug are tasked with hiring a new magician for their local King. They're about to make a final decision when an elderly magician arrives for an interview. His magic is quite good but it's not until he presents a glowing letter of recommendation from his former employer, Prince Lir, that Doug and Jamie know they've found the best man for the job.

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ConSec custodians, Jamie and Doug receive a routine call to clean up a mess in the lecture hall. When they begin scraping brain and skull fragments off the wall and ceiling, they consider handing in their resignation.

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First on the scene, Detectives McCambringe and Lorello of the Minneapolis PD take action! While McCambridge calls in the incident, Lorello uses the time to practice her 'chalk outline' skills, ignoring the fact that the victim she's tracing is still breathing.

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Jamie and Doug's double date at the bowling ally goes horrobly wrong when a wolf-boy in a letter man jacket throws a bowling ball in their direction! The ball knocks over their food, causing Doug to react by reasonably stating, 'I got french fries all over me'. Later, the night gets worse for Jamie when her date reveals that last year he slept with Pamelas Wells when he transformed into a narwhal. Also, Doug's date leaves when he mentions to her that he's a huge fan of Buffy The Vampire Slayer...the movie. That's right, the movie!

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It's revealed that Jamie was a G.L.O.W. fan in her youth and Doug puts the word out that if Mr. Skin is the authority on celebrity nudity then clearly, Ed Begley's butt was not on screen in this film.

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Director of Programming, Jamie Lorello notices that Dance TV's numbers have been steadily declining and hires Douglas McCambridge to fix things. Doug decides to hold an open competition to find new dancers to appear as regulars on the show. When (inexplicably) the two worst dancers win the competition, Doug is immediately fired and Dance TV is cancelled two weeks later.

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To celebrate Earth Day, Doug and Jamie travel across the country to visit world famous humpback whales, George and Gracie. Upon arrival in San Francisco, they're bummed to learn that the whales were released under the cover of darkness and were more than likely killed by poachers as their tracking signal was lost. After being unable to tour the USS Enterprise because of a Soviet security breach, they decide to see their favorite punk band who just happens to be performing that night. Upon finding out that the lead singer has been neck-pinched into a coma, the two call it a day and drive home. Because there's nothing else to do in San Francisco...right?

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Jamie and Doug's pirate-themed band just got their first gig...despite having no talent and being unable to play any song but Row, Row, Row Your Boat.

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Jamie and Doug finally score tickets to a sold out Buckaroo Banzai and the Hong Kong Cavaliers show at a small club in New Jersey. After a suicide/murder attempt (and only 2 songs) the show is cancelled and they are given tickets to an upcoming show. Sadly, that show is cancelled because Jamie's favorite member of the band, keyboardist Rawhide was killed by an alien spider.

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Doug and Jamie meet up at school on Monday with oddly similar stories. It seems that when Doug showed up to his job at the local theater, some weirdo in 3D glasses had shown up and was doing his job. Similarly, Jamie didn't have to serve food to teens in cars because that same goofball was just doing her job for no reason. They both said nothing to their respective bosses because, hey...a day off is a day off!

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Jamie & Doug work maintenance at Camp Arawak and over the past couple of days, they've been quite busy. Just yesterday, they had to repair one of the showers over in the girls bunkhouse as there was a 3 foot slit in the back wall. And just the day before, some kid's wicked backed up all the toilets in the boys bathroom. Sure, it looks like the camp will be shut down but they've got a lot more work to do before that day comes.

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Jamie (Lil Hippie) Lorello and Doug (DP) McCambridge are the best pilots the Air Force/Navy has ever seen and they are on the fast track to Top Gun when Jamie is found out to be a woman. She's kicked out of the military and since Doug is just the guy who sits in the back, their Top Gun ticket gets passed along to Cougar and Merlin...who will certainly excel at the next level!

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Doug and Jamie return from a hunting expedition to find their city burned to the ground and their boy king screaming at some large oaf. After considering staying with the king, they ultimately flee to the middle of the desert, where they die of thirst less than a week later. Even in their last moments though, they know they made the right decision.

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They had one job. Doug and Jamie only had one job during the 1980 Olympic trials and that was to make sure to bring the tarp that covers the long jump in case of rain. Doug thought Jamie had it and Jamie thought Doug had it. Needless to say, they were both harshly reprimanded and had their athletic (speed walking) scholarships revoked.

 

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Sal's dishwasher, Doug and weekend waitress, Jamie show up to work on Saturday morning to find the charred remains of the business and Sal sitting on the front stoop. When they ask what happened, instead of answering, Sal begins balling up hundred dollar bills and throwing them at his two employees. After a while he silently sits down. Confused, Jamie and Doug pick up the money and go home because...$500 is $500.

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Here's the story,
of a girl named Jamie,
who packed up and moved from LA to Nashville.
She lives with her two dogs,
and her husband,
and a last line that ends with 'ille'.

Here's the story,
of a guy named Doug/Paul,
who was bringing up three very lovely girls.
All of then had hair of brown,
like their mother,
the middle one has some curls.

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After receiving some advise from a 'muse', Jamie and Doug drop out of art school and open a roller skate repair shop across the street from the new club, Xanadu. Unsurprisingly, Xanadu closes its doors three months after opening and having no business experience at all, Doug and Jamie both return to art school where they hope a large format printer is never invented so their dreams of working as album cover enlargers can be fulfilled. Follow Good Times Great Movies Twitter: @GTGMcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/goodtimesgreatmovies Subscribe to Good Times Great Movies iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/good-times-great-movies!/id997035817?mt=2 Google Play: https://play.google.com/music/listen?u=0#/ps/I7kkyntqwscpccan6q6l4im25xy Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/wwwstitchercomgoodtimesgreatmovies/good-times-great-movies

Harvard Law students Doug & Jamie are thrilled as the Spring semester arrives! First, Jamie is promoted from dishwasher to lunch lady in the cafeteria and that opens the dishwashing job up for Doug. Also, they find a new apartment and get a great deal because (as the super tells them) it's been discounted because of the color of the previous occupant's skin.
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Not confident in their invention, Doug and Jamie step it up once they find out that 'Pretty Boy' Joel Goodsen had been kicked out of the Young Entrepreneurs Club and they end up winning the year-end competition with their 'Q-Tip dispenser for public restrooms'. Sure, it's not a great invention but it's better than a pad of paper for taking phone messages.

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Being big fans of the scientific community, both Jamie and Doug are aware of the dangers the comet presents to humanity and do the sensible thing by shutting themselves in a tool shed. Worried that there are still ways for the comet dust to 'make it' inside, they seal off all ventilation...and suffocate.

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It's not easy to open a store in Park Plaza Mall but Jamie and Doug managed to do it. People also said they were crazy to put their paint store in a carpeted mall but again, they managed to do it. After the presentation of the new security system they are both confident that nothing can ruin their grand opening the very next day.



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Biologists, Jamie and Doug are commissioned by the government to develop a pill casing that is able to become lodged in an artery (without instantly killing the subject) and slowly dissolve over the course of 24 hours. They know better than to ask questions and use a very small percentage of the $10,000,000.00 budget the US government grants them. So they spend the rest of the money on...ummmm, like futuristic robo prostitutes or something like that.


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The ad agency of Lorello & McCambridge has one chance to land their biggest client to date. The only problem is, they have no ideas. After doing some bumps in the hallway, Jamie launches into her concept of the client's bar of soap balanced on a model's bare neck. Just as Doug is about to apologize for his partner's insanity, the clients shout their enthusiasm and the search for the perfect neck model begins! Follow Good Times Great Movies Twitter: @GTGMcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/goodtimesgreatmovies Subscribe to Good Times Great Movies iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/good-times-great-movies!/id997035817?mt=2 Gohttp://www.podomatic.com/publish/step/8231763/t_title#ogle Play: https://play.google.com/music/listen?u=0#/ps/I7kkyntqwscpccan6q6l4im25xy Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/wwwstitchercomgoodtimesgreatmovies/good-times-great-movies

Doug and Jamie are beyond frustrated when time and time again they report to the police that all of the missing teens show up to ride the carousel each and every night on the boardwalk...and no officer ever bothers to come by and check it out. Well, that's Santa Carla for you!

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Jamie and Doug show up at the post SAT dance ready to spike the punch. Hoping for a distraction, an attempted rape/fight breaks out on the dance floor, only nobody seems to notice. Looking around, they realize that there aren't any adults at this dance anyway and they gleefully dump booze in the punch bowl.

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April 15th rolls around and Doug and Jamie are frantically trying to find someone to do their taxes at the eleventh hour. Luckily, the two stumble upon Madam Ruby. Sure, her prices are a bit high but beggars can't be choosers. Ruby's a wiz with numbers and they're both in for quite the refund. The only issue is that Ruby cannot electronically provide the refund and cannot have checks sent to them. They have to go collect it in person at the Alamo...in the basement.

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Shady Maple Rest Home Nurses Lorello and McCambridge prepare room 207 for a new guest. Later, the director mentions that the old lady won't be coming after all. When they ask why, they're told that her family actually loves her and discovered the power of hugs. The other residents overhear and break down in tears, realizing how terrible their family members are.

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Jamie and Doug's business partner, Arther Lestrange arrives in San Francisco a bit behind schedule. They're perplexed that he waits 5-8 years before deciding to search for his son and niece. And to be honest, they just assumed he murdered them because his story of a sinking ship and a drunken pirate abducting them seemed kind of fishy.

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Doug has a particular set of skills and has procured a salaried position at the 'Quitter's Inc.' offices. No, he's not the 'rape guy' (that's gross). He's the guy who cuts pinky fingers off of people. He and Jamie were actually a package deal as she is responsible for disposing of the digits...she actually has quite a collection at home.

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Each morning all the keyboards and keytars in Jamie and Doug’s music store are strewn about and fur coats litter the floor. They know it’s that wierdo who’s into mannequins that’s responsible for the mess but they can’t say anything because he’s Estelle Getty’s golden boy.

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Jamie and Doug work the night shift at the Rice-A-Roni plant in downtown SF. The other night their boss told them that if they are late just one more time they'd be fired. This runs through their minds as they watch their nightly transportation (city bus #264) speed past, engaging in a gunfight with a beat up old Cadillac.

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Australian gave diggers, Jamie and Doug finish digging their latest pit in anticipation of an impending storm when they decide to just 'take the rest of the night off'. They don't even cover the hole with a tarp or anything like that because as Jamie says, 'It's not like some frizzy-haired BMXer's gonna fall into it...'

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After a brief gang fight on a subway car, Lords of Hell members Doug and Jamie take their wounded leader to the hospital where he is treated for a 'seemingly' severe knife wound. After surgery, Dr. Sleepy informs them that all is well and he only required a single stitch. While that seems odd to them, the two are relieved and head back to the hideout to let the rest of the crew know that everything is going to be fine.

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While Rock and Roll was all the rage in 1957, High School students Doug and Jamie struggled to book gigs as nobody wanted to hear polka music. They caught a break after landing the former lead singer of The Silhouettes only to quickly discover that his voice was embarrassingly awful and his sax playing was suspect at best. A week later the band broke up and the pair concentrated on their studies, which is what teenagers should do. Don’t follow your dreams because stars fall out the sky…or something like that.


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For their second anniversary Doug and Jamie decide to have dinner at the most lavish 1930s Asian/American nightclub in the area. After walking up 12 flights of stairs, Doug has his flaming meal stolen by an adventurer in a white tuxedo and watches as he harpoons someone with it. Jamie is punched in the face by a cigarette girl who appears to be seeking revenge for her own broken nose and the two manage to escape before shots are fired and multiple people killed.

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Jamie and Doug just want out of Lincoln High. It's their senior year and everything's winding down and they're pride and joy proud of the 1973 Mustang that they've spent the past 4 years remodeling in automotive repair class. Imagine their devastation on Monday morning when they find the car not only destroyed but a dead student in the driver's seat and another under the wheels.

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Upon hearing that the esteemed Dr. Hammond was not promoted to chief of staff, the hospital is shocked...except orderlies Doug and Jamie who just last week watched as he punched a man (who went into cardiac arrest) in the face when the nurses looked away.

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Doug writes Jamie daily from the high seas and is increasingly saddened by the departure of their intrepid leader, Captain Bunny Wigglesworth, who had to return to Los Angeles to deal with some family issues. He fears that the war will be lost if Bunny does not return to command the fleet using his unorthodox morale-boosting tactics.
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Organic farmers, Jamie and Doug have developed the sweetest and most elongated watermelons due to the rich Catskills soil. The fruit seems to be a hit with the guests at Kellermans and in particular, the entertainment staff, who grab three nightly for their (Jamie and Doug assume) wild sex parties.

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Jamie and Doug's expectations for School Afloat are tempered when their trip is delayed due to a student jumping off the boat. The whole ordeal sets back their schooling 24 hours and to this day, they don't understand calculus. https://www.goodtimesgreatmovies.com
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Jamie and Doug's families have been residents of the sleepy town of Eastwick for generations. They keep to themselves but of course, know everyone in town. One day, a mysterious man with a foreign name shows up and just as quickly vanishes. And other than a few pop up thunderstorms, they (along with 99% of the town's population) don't notice that a single thing has changed.

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In town for an Orioles/Yankees game, Jamie and Doug witness a sword fight in the parking garage and nearly call the police. But when they see the 60 year old man begin and endless number of backflips, they assume they're simply street performers working on their craft and drive back to Baltimore.

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The audio quality isn't quite up to our usual standards but that's what you get when you walk into the Oregon wilderness with a laptop and a mic.

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Upon overhearing Olympia Dukakis advise yet another client that it will be 'four strikes and you're out' she is called into Jamie's office along with her immediate supervisor, Doug where she is again told that they cannot limit the number of times individuals can come in looking for work. Later, Doug explains that '4 strikes and you're out' isn't even a thing and proceeds to go over the basic rules of Baseball with Olympia.

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After talking with China (who disappeared several days ago) Doug and Jamie had been looking forward to visiting the new Waxwork(s) in town. Up bright and early, they arrive to find swarms of police removing hundreds of human bones from a pile of ashes that was the wax museum. They're pretty bummed but now have plenty of time to start their reports for their 'College Nazi Class'.
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Carnival Barkers Jamie and Doug need a night off. Doug, due to his voice going and Jamie just wants to soak up some of the local flair. They do manage to get the guy in charge of The Fun House to cover their shifts outside of The Animal Freak Show and The Girls, Girls, Girls tent for an evening. https://www.goodtimesgreatmovies.com Follow Good Times Great Movies Twitter: @GTGMcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/goodtimesgreatmovies Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/goodtimesgreatmovies

Doug and Jamie's stolen bike ring is going smoothly, even after the corrupt police chief is killed in a firefight. I mean, they don't quite know what to do with the bikes once they've stolen them but they assume that storing them in an old shed is a good plan for the time being.

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Sales at Jamie's roadside 'dollar store junk' stand have been a bit slow and the soft-spoken Italian gentleman and his friends handling the merchandise and not buying a single thing isn't helping. Luckily, she also supplies ketchup to Doug's restaurant down the road and a full shipment is needed after this group consumes one order of fries.

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It's ironic that an episode in which we cover a parasitic worm that can only be destroyed with sound waves (spoiler) would contain so many sound issues on our end. We do appologize and we recorded this ep. some time ago (long before Cobra) and the issues will not happen again.

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Jamie and Doug have a full day when they attend the opening of Sea World's new underwater tube adventure. They have drinks at the shag carpet bar, take in a pig dance, watch some water skiers fall down. They watch a hula show, see the popcorn they requested fall off the back of a golf cart, enjoy the undersea haunted house and get to watch a baby great white die in a kiddie pool. And to top it all off, Jamie pesters a park employee about the specifics of their filtration system and Doug poops in the parking lot.

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Jamie's life improves significantly after Captain EO leaves as she enjoys her new job as professional orange-suited backup dancer as opposed to evil wall-robot. The bad news is that Doug was not shot with rainbow light and remains a garbage can.

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Detectives Doug and Jamie of the 'normal' police force are having difficulty interrogating a female witness in a gold dress. For one thing, Jamie's convinced that she's a prostitute while Doug believes her story about being an exercise instructor after punching her in the stomach upon her request and noticing those tight abs. In the end all of this comes to nothing as Ramsay calls in to let them know she can be released as all others associated to the crime have been killed with heat-seeking bullets or exploding spider-robots. So they turn her loose...because that's how it works in the 'future'.

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After waiting in line for the bus for over an hour, Jamie gets a job at the local car wash and Doug lands a position as a toy tester/night watchman/cleaning lady/waitress after Bates realizes those jobs have been open for the past week!

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In the small Portuguese town of Mystic, Connecticut, Doug and Jamie convert the old post office into the country's smallest planetarium. The only resident remotely qualified to put on a talk is Kat. She's given the job but can only handle one gig for an hour every other week as she's tied up with her other jobs at the pizza parlor, nanny to who knows how many single dads and prepping for her first semester at Yale.

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Doug and Jamie get absolutely hammered at their friend's New Year's party. The evening takes a bad turn when they stumble out into the night and are immediately lost and alone. Luckily, they come upon a woman in a giant hat and trench coat sitting in a parked car. But instead of ask for directions the two think it would be a whole lot funnier if they just beat on the car and scare the hell out of her.

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Ain't no party like a 7th floor party! At least, that's Doug and Jamie's motto and this past Friday night was no exception. The only issue was that Susan from 3rd showed up and got way too drunk way to quickly again, devouring the anchovy dip and drinking out of the fish bowl. Luckily, a man who could only be described as an escaped mental patient showed up and lured her away. The rest of the night was an absolute blast!

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Jamie and Doug show up at their favorite restaurant, Johnny's Fat Boy for their usual 3:00am meal. Jamie doesn't do the 'meat thing' but knows that Johnny's is famous for their cantaloupe salad. She is devastated to find that every sort of melon in the place had been mutilated by a group of rowdy hoodlums from the local University.

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Visiting the steel city, Doug and Jamie decide to make a day of it and take in all things 'Pittsburgh'. They start with a tour of some abandoned buildings along the train tracks, follow that up with one of their world famous burlesque shows and cap off the trip by barely getting a seat in the arena for some sort of low level ice skating competition. They both it was a great trip after they stumble upon some back ally breakdancing!

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After reading about the mysterious disappearances of fashion icons, Jimmy and Margaret, Jamie and Doug decide to drown their sorrows in heroin. Finding that their usual (large toothed) dealer has also disappeared, the two dry out and turn their lives around. Jamie nabs a position as a theater instructor at the local University and Doug becomes the new rhythm box sensation down at 'The Club'.

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For a few moments, Doug and Jamie are surprised by the stranger at the party doing backflips and reciting old tv theme songs while smoking a carrot, but then they think back on other surprises at past 'Lovitz parties' and think nothing of it.

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Jamie and Doug are absolutely thrilled to have been accepted to Ramsey College. Not so much because of the high level of education that they'll be receiving but mainly due to the fact that their secret crush Marlon was also accepted. Sure, neither of them spoke to him in high school but they both figure that somewhere during the Fall semester of their Junior year at Ramsey would be the perfect time to profess their love for him.

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When told to grab their guns and head to Main Street (the only actual street in town), Doug and Jamie don’t ask questions. Sadly, they arrive a bit late and are too far in the back to actually see what’s happening. Jamie thinks she hears what sound like sledgehammers banging together, but for only a few moments. The crowd soon erupts into cheers and they return their guns to their homes, still having never fired them in the most violent/peaceful town they’ve ever known.

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Jamie and Doug are relieved to find that their kids were not among the murdered at Camp Hurrah so of course they're relieved. Not long after that though, they do find out that the Camp has run for years not accredited by the American Board of Cheer Camps (the ABCC) and was nothing more than a scam concocted by Kristen Wiig.

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The last thing Doug and Jamie knew, they were just waling through the center of Oz and suddenly, they're in the great hall praising a chicken for saving the land. Sure, they were TOLD that they had been turned to stone some six months ago and that Jamie's head had been removed and put in a glass case, but they guy telling them this has a pumpkin for a head!

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Doug and Jamie deliver and install the barn-sized freezer unit that Mr. Polski ordered. While they assumed he's be pretty upset (what with his entire asparagus crop dying) but instead he was in good spirits, realizing that the inventor he hired some time back is probably dead in the Amazon.

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While sales at The Big Kahuna's Auto Sales in Ohio have been on the rise, sales people Jamie and Doug are a little concerned that the owner hasn't returned from his trip to Hawaii in over eight months. With no contingency plan in place they decide to abandon the dealership and look for other work...perhaps as Skippy peanut better spokespeople as Annette has also disappeared.

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Jamie and Doug aren't exactly 'enjoying' the Cuban/Russian occupation of their small town in Colorado, but they have made a few friends and even taken to some of the Russian customs. All of this thanks to the Russian/American Friendship Center, their sole means of enjoyment...until one of those rotten Wolverines blew it up.

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As part of the focus group for the new direction of the Milk campaign, both Jamie and Doug agree that the 'Does A Body Good' is a more effective message with opportunities for all sorts of clever ads. However, on the way out Doug asks if it's possible to get a personal copy of the 'Milkshake' commercial.


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They're not even finished with Spring yet when Doug and Jamie realize that the Pink Ladies have this talent show in the bag and they don't stand a chance of winning. On the plus side, Jamie's plate spinning had really progressed and while Doug couldn't really sing, the addition of him flopping around on the ground and grabbing the Principle seemed to play well with the crowd.

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It's been a crazy eight days and Jamie and Doug just want to relax. They've survived 17 truck attacks, an incident with a hair straightener, 3 Casio keyboards, countless lamp attacks and one evil calculator. They just want to take a trip on their boat but find it stolen. They are bummed but soon realize they can take the Smith's boat as they had been murdered by their washer and dryer.

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After Jordy Verrill missed his monthly payment of $4.87, the bank sends Doug and Jamie to collect. He's not home and nothing comes of the collection until the next day when they both awaken, newly transformed into 'moss people'. Neither of them panic but they handle it very differently. As Jamie retreats to the forest to live out her days among bears and squirrels, Doug heads back to the office to make a dent in some of the paperwork.

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College freshmen, Jamie and Doug are quite excited to begin their second semester at The University of Maine's School of Medicine and see their favorite instructor, Professor Creed. While no details are given, he has left the school and his courses, 'Double Human Burial' and 'Cat Corpses' are no longer offered.

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While the Swanky Modes put on an unexpectedly great show, they're not Menudo. And Doug and Jamie paid to see Menudo! When attempting to get a refund on their tickets, the guys in charge of this musical act switch-em-up basically say, 'too bad, a show's a show' and then laugh in their faces. With on other course of action, Doug and Jamie contact the FBI and let them know that pornography was aired around the globe and they may want to look into Video Aces.

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Waiting in the wings, Jamie and Doug are shocked by that they're seeing. This city slicker with a horrific voice suddenly breaks into a duet with the greatest singer that NYC has ever seen. They were explicitly told that this was amateur night and that there were no other duets playing. FU also assured them that the hecklers would boo this cab driver off stage and that they would walk away with that evening's prize money.


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While the kingdom has some very liberal policies, a Princess marrying a woods-boy isn't one of them and the king casts Jack out beyond the castle walls. While Lily is devastated, Doug sees this as an opportunity to move in and decides to stop cutting his hair, bathing and wearing pants as he finally sees just what she's into. At this same time, an awakening occurs in Jamie after seeing Jack and she realizes the woodland life is the life for her. She bolts from her job as a blacksmith's apprentice and heads to the woods for a life of riding unicorns and getting drunk with dwarves!

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Business is good at Jamie's Fruit and Sawdust delivery company. So good that her top deliveryman, Doug can't even finish his route each day without enlisting the help of strangers to deliver the product for him. Thankfully for them both, Los Angeles is full of the most trustworthy citizens on the planet.

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Mornings With Jamie & Doug wasn't a big hit anyway but with the emergence of The Howard Stern Show, Doug Simpson moved the duo to evenings and ratings steadied for some time. Sadly, and to the shock of the two hosts, they were soon moved to overnights to accommodate an advise show specifically geared to single fathers of teenage daughters. Fed up after not getting their spot back when that show tanked after just a single day, the duo left and were picked up by Power 106.
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The Hong Kong Gazette editors, Doug & Jamie (both white Americans) waited anxiously for the expose on underground fighting by their star reporter (another white American) and it took her weeks to put this together. In the end they decide not to run it because it reads more as the telling of a love affair between a large man in a Harley Davidson shirt and a smaller man with 'tight buns'.

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After witnessing what is clearly a small child stacked on top of two dogs place a bet, Jamie and Doug pool together their depression-era life savings of $43 and bet on the long-shot in the 5th, The Grand Chawhee! To be honest, at 1000/1 odds, it's worth it to even put down a buck but they clean up with $43,000 and get the hell out of New Orleans as the town appears to be overrun with murderous dogs.

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'I mean, who even hires a mime for a child's birthday party?' Jamie and Doug continue discussing this fact days after the party ended. 'I mean, they're not funny, they're not entertaining, and they're certainly not appropriate entertainment for the late 20th century! He's associated with that rec center downtown that's full of those amazing dancers. Could the kid's parents not afford Ozone and Turbo?'

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Preteen D.C. residents, Doug and Jamie are drawn to the local drug dealer and his daily confrontations with a local cabbie who is always dressed as though he's heading to a 'Sweatin' to the Oldies' taping. Most of the other neighborhood kids are enamored by the drug dealer's killer car, but Doug and Jamie just can't get enough of those sweet, sweet drugs!


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After having just seen him in concert, Jamie and Doug run across Bruno X at a sketchy club and then show up to the set of his latest music video. After realizing that the guy stumbling around in the street and knocking over the back up dancers isn't the star, they head over to the Tiki Bar...where they see Bruno X again!!! LA is basically any small town in Wyoming.

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Doug and Jamie arrive at their local McDonld's to find the place absolutely jumpin'! It's to the point of aggravation as a dance party erupts and staff is incapable of serving food due to the infectious rhythm. The two grab the food themselves and eat silently in the Mayor McCheese head in the play area.

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