God Awful Movies (Puzzle in a Thunderstorm, LLC)

In this week’s episode, special guest masochist Nick Morgan-Moore joins us to break down Brother White, a movie that falls somewhere in the racism spectrum between War Room and Mein Kampf.

If you can’t get enough of Nick’s sexy Australian accent, you can also hear him on The Imaginary Friends Show and The Atheist Apocalypse.  You can also follow him on Twitter, or subscribe to his YouTube Channel.

And if you’d like to hear more from our maestro, Ryan Slotnick, you can check out Evil Giraffes on Mars.

This week, we're joined once again by special guest masochist Thomas Smith of Atheistically Speaking and Thomas and the Bible for an atheist review of Revelation Road 2: The Sea of Glass and Fire.  Part 1 went something like this: "In a pre-post-apocalyptic world, one humble karate ninja sets out to sell bulletproof vests door to door because he's an idiot.  But when he accidentally karate ninjas the wrong biker gang, nothing happens, but they suggest something will in the sequel."  Well we checked the sequel, and it doesn't.  Nothing happens.  And this is our review of the nothing happening.  ---

For more Thomas in your life, check out the following links:

Thomas and the Bible

Comedy Shoeshine

Atheistically Speaking

Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars.  If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.

This week, Eli and Noah break down our most oft-requested film; A Thief in the Night.  This launches a three part (or possibly four part if we can take it) series on one of the a movie that's horrible production quality pales in comparison to it's psychological abuse of a moral.---

Our theme was written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars, and was used with permission.  If you'd like to hear more, check out their Facebook page here.The music for "I Hate This F*cking Movie" was performed by Anna Phyllis Smith, who you can hear more from on her website. 

This week, Heath has the sense not to join Eli and Noah as they embark on an atheist review of God's Army, the story of an alien lifeform that's disguised itself as a mole and hitched a ride on the face of a Mormon missionary. Or at least that was the story I was telling myself by the end just to keep from dying of boredom. Racism, sexism, and the most lazily jingled keys in the history of Christian film await on this week's conclusion of Mormon Movie Month.

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars.  If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.

In this week's episode, Eli, Noah, and Heath team up for an atheist review of Second Glance, a bizarre hybridization of an after school special, a re-imagining of It's a Wonderful Life, and unabashed anti-atheist bigotry. Plus we get to see little David AR White before his balls dropped and learn that apparently he never stood a chance. --- Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars.  If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.

This week, Tom and Cecil from Cognitive Dissonance join us to break down a tale of a live triangle between a woman, her rapist, and her stalker.  Join us as we see exactly how many offended emails a podcast can fit into a single inbox, as we tackle the most disturbing film we've encountered so far, Loving the Bad Man.---Our theme song is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars.  If you'd like to hear more from them, check out their Facebook Page.

This week, Eli, Noah, and Heath take a field trip to see Miracles From Heaven in the theater on opening weekend.  Red carpet!!!  Eli wore Versace, Noah wore Nike, and Heath wore a smile.  Nobody else was happy.  Join them in this fair and balanced review of a story about how Jesus gives deadly diseases to young children, and why doctors are to blame.

Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars.  If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.

This week Eli and Noah tackle the third film in the Thief in the Night series, Image of the Beast.  And as we descend further into hellscape of Russell S. Doughten's untreated mental illness, we find that computers are evil, Satan has a pretty good lawyer on retainer, and there will be locusts.  Glorious, glorious locusts.---Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars.  If you'd like to hear more, check out their Facebook page.

This week, Eli, Noah, and Heath break down Silver Bells, the story of a man whose competitive ways lead to criminal trouble when he accidentally hits somebody with a basketball just as all American jurisprudence disappears from the earth.  He's sentenced to Christianity, where he learns that winning isn't everything, and homeless people eat flour.---Our theme song is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars.  To hear more from them, check out their Facebook Page.

This week, Ishmael Brown joins us to talk about Would A Man Rob God? ... It's a slightly musical stage play about prosperity churches, performed for a very unimpressed live studio audience, and made into a movie that all takes place in the same room.  And no Brie Larson. --- If you'd like to hear more from Ishmael, you can check out his podcast, or his Facebook page.

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.

This podcast is a production of Puzzle in a Thunderstorm, LLC

In this week's episode, Eli, Noah, and Heath team up for a skeptical review of What the Bleep do we Know?, the 2004 classic of quantum woo. From "scientific" studies that show you can meditate away high murder rates to "scientific" "proof" that water gets sad when you say mean things to it, this film crams so much bullshit into one place there's no way to describe it but impacted.

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.

In this week's episode, Eli, Noah, and Heath team up for an atheist review of The Masked Saint, the story of Nacho Libre, except for realsies. This convoluted and uncomfortable hybrid combines elements of wrestling movies, superhero flicks, and Christian cinema to form a confused mess of stupidity. That we watched. On purpose.

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.

This week, we watched a Nigerian Christian demon bird cult classic.  Yup.

Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars.  If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.

In this week's episode, Eli, Noah, and Heath break down the sequel to last week's homage to things happening randomly and in questionable focus; What Would Jesus Do 2: The Woodcarver.  This nearly impossible to properly punctuate sequel adds an Oscar eligible performance from Christian movie powerhouse John Ratzenberger, to answer the age old question of what gay GILF porn would look like if you took out all the sex.---Our theme song was written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars.

In this week's episode, Eli, Noah, and Heath team up once more for an atheist review of More Than Chance; the story of a young girl crippled by child abuse and really bad screenwriting, who eventually learns to overcome her disabilities and follow her dreams through a combination of Jesus and not dreaming very big.

Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars.  If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.

In this week's episode, we polish off the grand finale of the WWJD trilogy with an installment that maintains the series' continuity by having nothing to do with the other ones, just like the sequel.  Dr. T joins us to recount a story of tragedy, heartache, and not hurting anyone.If you'd like to follow Dr. T on Twitter, trust us, you'll just want to click here.Our theme song was written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars.  If you'd like to hear more check out their Facebook page.

War Room, the story of a magical black woman teaching someone how to overcome emotional abuse by talking to an invisible wizard in a closet.  Not only is it the least interesting to ever contain the word “war” in the title; it’s also probably the least interesting movie about closets.

If you'd like to hear more from guest masochist Keisha Zollar, you can find more of work at the following links.

Keisha's podcast, The Soul Glo Project.

Keisha's web series In Game

Keisha's website KeishaZollar.com

And, of course, if you enjoyed the music in this episode, you can hear more from the talented Ryan Slotnick here:

Evil Giraffes on Mars

This week, David Michael of the My Book of Mormon podcast joins us to kick off Mormon Movie Month with an atheist review of Saturday's Warrior, which is essentially the musical version of the Mormon Duggars.

If you'd like to hear more of David's milk-chocolatey voice, you can find his podcast here. If you want to see the outtake Eli refers onto the show, you can find it here. If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.

On this week's episode, we pull a late audible and Heath, Noah, and Eli join forces for an atheist review of Vultures of Horror 2. In the second edition of everyone's favorite supernatural Nigerian Christian soap opera, nothing happens. But he still talk about it for an hour.

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.

This podcast is a production of Puzzle in a Thunderstorm, LLC.

No Greater Love, a story of forbidden love, scenery chewing, and musical montages that starts boring and ends crazy.  Join Eli Bosnick, Heath Enwright, Noah Lugeons, and special guest Meg Griffiths for our review.

Meg’s website: http://www.meggriffiths.com/

Meg’s Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/MegGriffiths

Evil Giraffes on Mars: http://evilgiraffesonmars.com/

This week we meet a movie that's out of our league, but only by a little.  Join Eli, Noah, and Heath as they head out for a field trip and learn how the Jesus story would have played out had it been a buddy cop flick in our atheist review of Risen.---You should really check out the preview for next week's movie.  It's more insane than you can possibly imagine: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7HytrGnnz8

Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars.  If you'd like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.

This week Eli, Noah, and Heath join forces for an atheist review of Leap, a no-budget film about four friends who decide to use their remedial gymnastic skills to save souls for Jesus, despite ominous warnings from one of those teams of atheists that kill Christian parkour ministers. With substantially substandard cinematography, acting, music, editing, ADR, stunts, writing, and plot; Leap makes a valiant effort at being the worst movie we've ever reviewed.

If you'd like to chime in on locations for our 2017 national tour, you can take the survey here.

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars.  If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.

This week, Eli, Noah, and Heath join up with a mysterious friend for an atheist review of The Unexpected Bar Mitzvah, a movie about a young Christian boy in South Dakota and his relentless efforts to cure his Jewish neighbors of their Judaism. Seriously. That's what it's about.

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.

This week, Eli, Noah, and Heath join forces for an atheist review of Leap 2: Rise of the Beast, a low-budget (no... lower than that) action packed drama about a group of sassy teens that stand up to the Catholic antichrist with a combination of parkour skills, kung fu, and old fashioned pluck. Somehow managing to pack even less parkour into this sequel, filmmaker Chris Tempel seems to have used this film to chastise people who said nothing could be worse than the prequel.

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.

This week, Eli, Heah, and Noah are joined by the hilarious Chelsea Davison to break down a heartwarming story of petty problems, woeful lack of chemistry, and filling out webforms.  Christian Mingle tells the story of shallow, paternalistic views on imagined white people problems amidst the backdrop of a storm-ravaged town in Mexico that just stays storm ravaged.---If you'd like to hear more from Chelsea Davison, you can follow her on Twitter, or check out her website.---

Our theme song was written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars.  If you'd like to hear more from them, you can check out their Facebook Page.

It's been a year, so we figured Eli had finally earned an episode off.  So we invited Tom and Cecil to join us for an atheist review of God Not Dead; the review that, in a round about way, got this show started. Incidentally, if you'd like to hear Eli's thoughts on God's Not Dead, check out Episode 59 of The Scathing Atheist.

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.

This week, Eli, Noah, and Heath join forces for an atheist review of The Freedom of Silence; a film that asks what happens when a computer expert and a Christianity expert team up to take down the evil, secular government through an act of terrorism. And they're the good guys. --- Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.

This week comedian Rebecca Vigil joins Heath, Noah, and Eli to break down Christmas Angel, a movie that was just dissimilar enough from Touched by an Angel not to violate any copyrights.  Listen in as we move one depressing step closer to having seen Kevin Sorbo's entire filmography.If you had as much fun with musical comedian Rebecca Vigil as much as we did, you should follow her on Twitter.

Our theme music was written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars.  If you'd like to hear more from him, check out their Facebook page.

This week, Eli, Noah, and Heath join forces once again to take on the most blissfully ignorant film they've encountered so far.  Join them for an atheist review of A Matter of Faith; a film about a father whose daughter's ignorance is challenged by a college education.  After her biology professor has the audacity to teach true things, instead of dad's favorite fairytales, dad has no choice but to challenge the evolutionist to a debate that nobody thinks he can win.  Because he's wrong.  And he's debating a guy who's right.  And has a PhD.

Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars.  If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.

This week, Thomas Smith joins Eli, Noah, and Heath for an atheist review of The Black Rider: Revelation Road, the third film in a trilogy that has, until this point, known which side of the colon the subtitle goes on.  Join us as we desperately try to figure out what accent Kevin Sorbo is shooting for, why David AR White is wearing knee pads, and what the hell the point of this whole trilogy was.

For more Thomas in your life, check out the following links:

Thomas and the Bible

Comedy Shoeshine

Atheistically Speaking

Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars.  If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.

This week we meet a drifter with a heart of gold and no idea how humanity works. In a small California town with a bafflingly robust homeless population, a Jesus analog enters the lives of six community theater rejects; leaving both the characters and the viewers pondering one simple question... WTF?  Or, as they titled their movie (based on the bracelet of the same name) What Would Jesus Do?---Our theme song is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars.  If you'd like to hear more from him, check out their Facebook Page.

If you'd like to hear more from Anna Phyllis Smith, you can check her website as well.

This week, Heath makes a triumphant return to welcome guest masochist Michael Marshall; Project Director of the Good Thinking Society, co-host of Skeptics with a K, and host of Be Reasonable.  Together, we take on What If…; the story of It’s a Wonderful Life, but in reverse.  We watch Kevin Sorbo turn from a successful, philanthropic, considerate investment banker, to a failed reverend in a termite infested church, thanks to a little bit of head trauma.

If you’d like to hear more from Marsh, check him out on Skeptics with a K or Be Reasonable.  You can also learn more about the Good Thinking Society if you’d like.

Our theme song was written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars.  If you’d like to hear more from him, you can check out the band’s Facebook page.

This week, we're joined by special guest masochist Thomas Smith of Atheistically Speaking and Thomas and the Bible for an atheist review of Revelation Road: The Beginning of the End.  In a pre-post-apocalyptic world, one humble karate ninja sets out to sell bulletproof vests door to door because he's an idiot.  But when he accidentally karate ninjas the wrong biker gang, nothing happens, but they suggest something will in the sequel.---If you'd like to pick up your copy of the God's Not Dead song parody from last week (remember, 100% of proceeds go to charity!), you can get it on CD Baby here.

If you'd like to donate to the same charity directly, you'll find it here.

To learn more about the fundraiser, check out The Herd Mentality podcast.

Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars.  If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.

In this week's episode, Eli and Noah tackle Redeemed, a movie about how thinking about having a platonic, purely conversational relationship with a person you aren't married to will destroy your marriage.

Our theme song was written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars.

This week Eli, Heath, and Noah team up for an atheist review of Passion of the Christ, also known as the first inhalation after Mel Gibson's last gasp of sanity. In the first ever live record of God Awful Movies, a sold out crowd at the People's Improv Theater in Midtown Manhattan join us in a night of mockery, revelry, and blatant anti-Semitism.

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.

This podcast is a production of Puzzle in a Thunderstorm, LLC; copyright 2016, all rights reserved.

On this week's episode, Eli, Noah, and Heath join forces for an atheist review of Kirk Cameron's Mercy Rule; the tale of a scrappy, old-fashioned junkyard owner fighting back against socialized waste removal.  And while it's certainly the least "god" of any movie we've reviewed so far, it's far from the least "awful."

Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars.  If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.

This week, Eli and Noah are joined by Bryce Blankenagel for an atheist review of Cipher in the Show and Johnny Lingo, two "educational" shorts produced by BYU in a desperate (and misguided) effort to make Mormonism seem normal. --- If you'd like to hear more from Bryce, you can check him out on The Naked Mormonism Podcast or on My Book of Mormon.

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.

This week, Callie Wright and Ari Stillman of the Gaytheist Manifesto Podcast join Eli, Noah, and Heath for an atheist review of Accidental Activist, a film about a bigot who struggles with the harsh consequences of his bigotry while trying his best to maintain in despite society moving forward without him. It's a movie where we're almost certain that they meant for the bigot to be the good guy, but it's really hard to tell. --- If you'd like to hear more from Callie and Ari, you can check out their podcast, their blog, or you can like their Facebook Page.

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.

In this week's episode, Eli, Noah, and Heath break down Catching Faith; a movie based on a Christian coloring book for grown-ups that revolves around a mother's tireless effort to snitch on her teenage son for drinking and destroy his football dreams in the process.  And it's as bad as that sounds.And if you'd like to hear more from our maestro, Ryan Slotnick, check out Evil Giraffes on Mars's Facebook Page.

This week, Eli, Noah, and Heath join forces once more; this time for an atheist review of Rock: It's Your Decision; a Bizarro-world version of Footloose where our hero uses his ability to not dance to inspire an entire town of youngsters to also not enjoy themselves. If you want to see our live show in NYC on August 12th, click here to get tickets.

Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars.  If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.

In this episode, we embark upon an entire trilogy of increasingly crazy Kirk Cameron apocalypse movies.  We break down part one of the Left Behind triology with the help of special guest masochist Devin Heater.If you'd like to follow Devin on Twitter, you can do so here.

If you'd like to learn more about Devin's show, GUS (Generic Underground Shelter), you can follow them on Facebook, Twitter, or Instragram.

In this week's episode, Eli and Noah tackle the second movie in the infamous A Thief in the Night series; A Distant Thunder.  This is the story of the all the stuff the girl dreamed about in the first movie happening in real life; which basically means it's the story of the first movie, but all the actors are six years older.  With a bold redefinition of cinematic insanity, this film more than lives up to its infamous reputation and includes one of the most disturbingly fanatical endings in the history of the moving picture.---Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars.  If you'd like to hear more of his music, check out their Facebook Page.

This week, Eli and Noah break down The Lock In, a movie that carves out its own genre somewhere between "found footage horror", and "My bad, I thought I'd turned the camera off."  When three friends find a nudie magazine in a dumpster, it never occurs to them that it might be possessed by demons, because that would be insane.  But that's actually what happens in this vapid waste of pixels.

The music used in this episode was written and performed by Ryan Slotnick.  If you'd like to hear more, check out his band, Evil Giraffes on Mars, on Facebook.

In this week's episode, comedian Micah Sherman joins us to break down a movie so jingoistic the American flags are made up of smaller American flags.  Last Ounce of Courage is a retelling of The Grinch That Stole Christmas from the point of view of the mayor of Whoville, a Vietnam veteran whose obsession with Jesus stems from untreated PTSD.If you'd like to hear more from Micah, you can check him out HERE, or you can check out his comedy album here.And if you'd like to hear more from our maestro, Ryan Slotnick, you can check out Evil Giraffes on Mars.Special thanks for sound effects.

In this week's episode, Eli, Noah, and Heath tackle a movie about little girl who has the ability to cure cancer, AIDS, heart disease, and kidney failure, but instead uses it to cure hamsters with indigestion.  But when her atheist mother finds out, she puts a stop to all this magical altruism in a hurry in Heaven's Door.---

Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars.  If you'd like to hear more from them, check out their Facebook page.

In this week's episode, Eli, Heath, and Noah join forces once more to take on a film that snuck just enough god stuff in to make the "faith" category on Netflix.  It's the story of a woman on the hunt for the man who killed her husband, even though the only description she has to work with is "african american male."  So listen in as we desperately try to fill an entire episode with a movie where nothing actually ever happens; Unconditional.---

Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars.  If you'd like to hear more, check out the band's Facebook page.

This week, Eli, Noah, and Heath team up for an atheist review of God's Club, the story of Stephen Baldwin trying desperately to open his eyes up all the way. Set amid the backdrop of a churchless town in Vermont, a faithful science teacher tries to overcome the death of his wife, his lack of acting talent, and a couple of atheist mean girls with murder on their mind.

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.

In this week's episode, Heath, Noah, and Eli team up for an atheist review of Day When Sun Rises in West: Film that Shock the World. In this tale of inevitable destruction, four Muslim friends wonder if the end times will disturb their exciting life of chicken eating, rubble visiting, and cartoon sound effects. Combining poorly translated air conditioner instructions style subtitles, visual effects that wouldn't have made it passed the Vultures of Horror directors, and the typical Muslim tendency to take all the crazy up to eleven, Day When Sun Rises in West earns a place towards the very top of the "worst nonsense we've ever sat through" rankings.

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.

This podcast is a production of Puzzle in a Thunderstorm, LLC. Copyright 2016, all rights reserved.

On this week's episode, Eli unearths the single craziest piece of batshittery in the history of film.  If Footmen Tire You, What Will Horses Do? is a gratutiously titled red-scare propaganda piece that mixes Christian persecution fetish, cold war paranoia, and baffling inconsistent accents to create the most bizarre cinematic experience we've yet endured.---

Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars.  If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.

This week, Eli, Noah, and Heath join forces for an atheist review of God's Not Dead 2, a story in which god continues to not be dead, apparently.  This film continues the Pure Flix tradition of cramming way too many characters into a story with way too little plot, all to a soundtrack that can only be described as castration-like.---Special musical thanks this week to Morgan Clarke, whose you can check out on Soundcloud.

Additional special musical thanks this week to Anna Phyllis Smith, whose you can check out on her website.

And, of course, our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars.  If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.

This week Eli, Noah, and Heath break down Little Boy, the true story of Jesus giving nuclear bomb powers to an 8 year old so that he could massacre Japanese civilians by the thousands during World War II.  Terrible apologetics, an awful portrayal of stage magicians, and a plot that forces him to repeatedly pronounce the world "nuclear" combine to create the perfect storm of misery for Eli.  And as if that's not enough, the movie also includes hate crimes committed without consequence.

Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars.  If you'd like to hear more, check out their Facebook page.

This week, former senior writer for the Onion and current writer for Comedy Central's @Midnight Jocelyn Richard joins us to break down a story about a man and a woman, and that's pretty much it.  This conflictless love story pits master thesbian Ja Rule across from the girl from Cuttin' Da Mustard and generates precisely the kind of onscreen chemistry that casting would suggest.  Join us for a story of love, all-inclusive resort plugs, and unatoned felonies in I'm in Love with a Church Girl.---

Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars.  If you'd like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.

On this week's episode, Dan and Mark from Thank God I'm Atheist join us for an atheist review of The Book of Mormon Volume One: The Journey; the story of a crazy guy following the voices in his head across a desert while his children repeatedly try to kill each other. It's a journey of wonder, discovery, anachronisms, overweight camels from the wrong continent, and love. You can hear more of Dan (and, to a lesser extent, Mark) by checking out Thank God I'm Atheist --- If you want to see us live in NYC, you can get tickets here. If you want to see us live in Manchester, England, book your QED tickets here.

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars.  If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.

In this week's episode, we tackle the exciting conclusion to the exciting conclusion to the Left Behind trilogy, and rejoice in not having to watch another Kirk Cameron movie next week.By the way, if anybody's up for Eli's Brother White preview challenge, you can find the preview here.

If you'd like to hear more from Ryan Slotnick, you can check out Evil Giraffes on Mars as well.

In this week's episode, Eli and Noah reach the belated end of the Thief in the Night quadrilogy with a story of fiction's tidiest nuclear disaster.  Join the petulant Christian, the sheep-haired 80s chick, the nuclear biologist, Jimmy the Mutant, and a sentient stocking full of mashed potatoes as they navigate the post-apocalyptic hellscape of radiation and helicopters.---If you'd like to hear more from Evil Giraffes on Mars, check out their Facebook page.If you'd like to hear more from Anna Phyllis Smith, check out her website.

This week we tackle Left Behind 2: Tribulation Force, described by critics as the Attack of the Clones of Kirk Cameron's filmography.  In this film, a team of post-apocalyptic Christians team up to worship the guy whose plan the apocalypse was; while impotently trying to stop the thing they all agree is both necessary and inevitable.

Special thanks to guest masochist Nick Carillo, without whom this episode would not have had Nick Carillo in it.

On this week's episode, Noah, Heath and Eli team up for an atheist review of Time Changers; a cinematic exploration of the dumbest possible use of a time machine.

On this week's episode, Noah, Heath, and Eli team up with the Scibabe, Yvette D'Entremont, for a skeptical review of Vaxxed: Cover Up to Catastrophe. In this baby-manslaughtering propaganda piece, we learn that some people shouldn't be trusted with medical licenses, others shouldn't be trusted with children, and still others with video cameras and editing equipment.

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful

Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts

Sources: http://scienceblogs.com/insolence/2014/08/28/a-bad-day-for-antivaccinationists-a-retraction-and-the-cdc-whistleblower-issues-a-statement/ https://leftbrainrightbrain.co.uk/2016/03/22/andrew-wakefield-releases-the-trailer-for-his-william-thompson-video-slick-production-and-dishonesty/ http://scienceblogs.com/insolence/2014/08/28/a-bad-day-for-antivaccinationists-a-retraction-and-the-cdc-whistleblower-issues-a-statement/ http://scienceblogs.com/insolence/2016/05/25/andrew-wakefield-and-del-bigtree-privileged-white-males-harming-african-americans-with-antivaccine-misinformation/ http://lizditz.typepad.com/ispeakofdreams/2016/05/who-is-polly-tommey.html http://thinkingmomsrevolution.com/mrs-reed-mrs-schneider-go-washington/ http://scienceblogs.com/insolence/?s=%22Mark+Blaxill%22 https://www.sciencebasedmedicine.org/andrew-wakefields-vaxxed-antivaccine-propaganda-at-its-most-pernicious/ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LucMontagnier#Responses.2Ccriticismsandinterview https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DanBurton#Autism http://www.snopes.com/MEDICAL/DISEASE/cdcwhistleblower.asp http://canaryparty.org/

In this week's episode, Noah, Heath, and Eli team up once more for an atheist review of Confessions of a Prodigal Son; the heart bypassing story of some middle-class white kid that mistook being hungover for having real problems. Also, three minutes and nine seconds of Kevin Sorbo.

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts

This week, Eli, Noah, and Heath team up for an atheist review of "Wicked Vultures", the third film in the "Vultures of Horror" series. Listen along as Kwame continues not to be the chief, his wife continues to use magical laser-vultures to nominally increase her bodega sales, and the producers fail once more to buy a god damn pop filter.

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts

In this week's episode, Noah, Heath, and Eli join you live from QED in Manchester, England for an atheist review of "Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed." In this obituary to Ben Stein's career, the monotone gopher of humanity posits a direct link between Darwinian evolution and Nazi death camps, and doesn't even have the decency to beat around the bush about it.

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts

This week, Eli and Noah team up with writer, comedian, improv artist, and guest masochist Keisha Zollar for an atheist review of "I'm Not Ashamed"; a film about how it's okay to exploit the deaths of thirteen people in a tragic school shooting, as long as you're doing it for Jesus.

If you'd like to hear/see more of Keisha, you can find her website here: http://www.keishazollar.com/

If you'd like to keep up with her on Twitter, you'll find her here: https://twitter.com/keishaz

Special thanks to Morgan Clarke for some background music in this week's show. If you'd like to hear him do music for realsies, you can find him here: https://soundcloud.com/morgandclarke If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts

This week, Eli, Noah, and Heath team up for an atheist review of The Atheist Delusion, a hybrid of man on the street interviews with high teenagers who can't explain cosmology to Ray Comfort, and left over stock footage of animals. If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts

This week, Eli, Heath, and Noah team up for an atheist review of Holyman Undercover, the story of a bunch of Christian extremists trying to write about other Christian extremists so as to make them seem wacky. Watch as Baptist evolution deniers throw down against Anabaptist zipper deniers in a film that features David AR White taking on dual roles, and failing miserably at both.

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts

On this week's episode, Eli, Heath, and Noah team up for an atheist review of King's Faith; the story of a human who does things, many of which are unrelated to one another. That's the closest we could collectively come to a plot synopsis.

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts

In this week's show, Eli, Noah, and Heath team up for an atheist review of Blood Freak, the single greatest use of the cinematic medium in both history and future. It's the classic story of boy meets girl, eats poisonous science-turkey, gets turned into a blood drinking mutant, and then turns to Jesus.

If you'd like to pick up tickets to see us live in Chicago on Friday, January 13th, you can find them here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/god-awful-movies-live-with-cognitive-dissonance-tickets-29713113723

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts

This week, Eli, Noah, and Heath team up for an atheist review of "Apocalypse: Caught in the Eye of the Storm"; a story of the biblical apocalypse as told through whatever spare CNN stock the producers could get their hands on.

Join us as we marvel at the insensitive appropriation of real people's suffering for the sake of a crappy movie featuring Frankenstein's Game Show Host.

You can find tickets to our live show in Chicago on Friday, January 13th here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/god-awful-movies-live-with-cognitive-dissonance-tickets-29713113723

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts

On this week's show, Eli, Heath, and Noah team up for an atheist review of Apocalyse 2: Revelation; a heart-warming buddy cop movie where a hardened detective looking for clues that can lead him to his family, and his wacky, wheelchair-bound sidekick team up to take on the antichrist.

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts

This week, Eli, Heath, and Noah team up for an atheist review of Apocalypse 3: Tribulation; the story of Gary Busey not being in the shape required to jog on camera anymore, but doing it anyway.

To get tickets to our live show in Chicago on January 13th (guest starring Tom and Cecil from Cognitive Dissonance), go here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/god-awful-movies-live-with-cognitive-dissonance-tickets-29713113723 If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts

This week, Andrew Torrez of the Opening Arguments Podcast joins us to break down the court room drama that caps off our four movie-trilogy. Listen as we desperately try to decipher the post-rapture legal system, as well as the English translation of whatever the hell Mr. T is saying. To get tickets to our live show in Chicago on January 13th (guest starring Tom and Cecil from Cognitive Dissonance), go here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/god-awful-movies-live-with-cognitive-dissonance-tickets-29713113723 If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts

On this week's episode, Eli, Heath, and Noah team up for an atheist review of Christmas on Salvation Street; the heartwarming story of nothing happening for an hour and forty-five minutes. But it's a Christmas movie, otherwise why would there be all this tinsel?

To get tickets to our live show in Chicago on January 13th (guest starring Tom and Cecil from Cognitive Dissonance), go here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/god-awful-movies-live-with-cognitive-dissonance-tickets-29713113723 If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts

This week, guest masochist Marissa McCool joins Eli and Noah to discuss the story of Jesus's under-performing dinner theater magic show in an atheist review of The Encounter.

To check out Marissa's podcast, The Inciting Incident Podcast, click here: http://incitingincident.libsyn.com/

To get a copy of Marissa's book, click here: https://www.amazon.com/PC-Lie-American-Voters-Decided/dp/1540416003

This week, Tom and Cecil of the Cognitive Dissonance podcast join us live for an atheist review of "The Right to Believe", an exploration of the age old question of whether gay people should be allowed to walk in groups.

To hear more from Tom and Cecil, check out the Cognitive Dissonance podcast here: http://dissonancepod.com/

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts

This week, Eli, Heath, and Noah team up for an atheist review of "The Encounter 2: Paradise Lost", the story of a bunch of people sitting in a room with Jesus not doing anything. And it's just as action packed as that sounds.

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts If you'd like to see us live at ReasonCon 3 in Hickory, NC, you can get tickets here: http://reasonnc.com/

On this week's episode, Eli, Heath, and Noah team up for an atheist review of Wicked Vultures 2; the 4th film in the Vultures of Horror series. Listen as Heath begs us in vain to edit out large portions of the episode.

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts

This week, Eli, Heath, and Noah team up for an atheist review of The Resurrection of Gavin Stone; the story of a washed up, burned out child star turning his life over to Jesus and settling for a four.

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts

This week, guest masochist Devin Heater teams up with Eli and Noah for an atheist review of The Fight Within, the story of a patricidal Christian wrestler who punches people for money. And Jesus.

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts

This week, Eli, Heath, and Noah team up for an atheist review of Me Again, the story of a pastor spending time in the bodies of a teenage boy, an elderly African American, a gangster, a model, and a fish. But not in a fun way.

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts

On this week's episode, Eli, Heath, and Noah team up for an atheist review of Held for Ransom, the real life story of the kidnapping of Eunice Kronholm. Listen as we desperately try to find something to say about this boring, uneventful drudgery for 90 minutes.

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts

This week, Eli, Heath, and Noah team up for an atheist review of Reggie's Prayer; the story of a millionaire football star who tried to portray a millionaire football star in a movie and failed miserably.

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts

This week, Eli, Heath, and Noah team up for an atheist review of The Shack; the story of why you don't see Sam Worthington in more challenging roles.

If you'd like to take our survey, go to podcast.study and select all of our shows listed that you listen to. Thanks! http://www.surveygizmo.com/s3/3379308/24005

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://soundcloud.com/morgandclarke

On this week's episode, Eli, Heath, and Noah team up for an atheist review of "The Becoming", which we're pretty sure was meant as a movie. With candle-based lighting, wet microphones, sarcastic scoring, and 'free with the unlimited plan' cameras, this series of scarcely coherent scenes competes for the worst film we've ever reviewed.

If you’d like to pick up a copy of our new ebook; Diatribes Volume 2: 50 More Essays from a Scathing Atheist, you can find it here: https://www.amazon.com/Diatribes-Essays-Scathing-Atheist-Presents-ebook/dp/B06XQTJT4R

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://soundcloud.com/morgandclarke

This week, Eli and Noah team up for an atheist review of Old Fashioned; the story of a man who promised god he'd never be alone in a room with a woman if god forgave him for all the consensual boob-filming he did in college. It's a romantic comedy in the sense that they had to put something next to the word "genre" in the description.

If you’d like to pick up a copy of our new ebook; Diatribes Volume 2: 50 More Essays from a Scathing Atheist, you can find it here: https://www.amazon.com/Diatribes-Essays-Scathing-Atheist-Presents-ebook/dp/B06XQTJT4R

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://soundcloud.com/morgandclarke

This week, Eli, Heath, and Noah team up for the greatest achievement in the history of visual medium; Divination. It's the story of internal demonic office politics, as well as one man's obsession with another man's procreation. Plus there's a knife grenade. Yes... a knife grenade.

Our June show has changed dates! If you'd like to see us live on June 9th at the People's Improv Theater in NYC, you'll find tickets here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/god-awful-movies-live-in-nyc-tickets-33324201584

If you’d like to pick up a copy of our new ebook; Diatribes Volume 2: 50 More Essays from a Scathing Atheist, you can find it here: https://www.amazon.com/Diatribes-Essays-Scathing-Atheist-Presents-ebook/dp/B06XQTJT4R

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://soundcloud.com/morgandclarke

This week, Eli, Heath, and Noah team up for an atheist review of The Case for Christ; the story of a man researching a book, when all of a sudden, he writes a book eventually. And that's literally all the movie has to offer in terms of stakes. But it does offer up a cavalcade of tired, silly apologetics to test the limits of Noah's blood pressure.

If you’d like to pick up a copy of our new ebook; Diatribes Volume 2: 50 More Essays from a Scathing Atheist, you can find it here: https://www.amazon.com/Diatribes-Essays-Scathing-Atheist-Presents-ebook/dp/B06XQTJT4R

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://soundcloud.com/morgandclarke

This week, Eli, Noah, and Heath team up for an atheist review of the fifth film in the Nigerian "Vultures of Horror" series, known in house as "the gift that keeps on giving."

If you’d like to pick up a copy of our new ebook; Diatribes Volume 2: 50 More Essays from a Scathing Atheist, you can find it here: https://www.amazon.com/Diatribes-Essays-Scathing-Atheist-Presents-ebook/dp/B06XQTJT4R

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://soundcloud.com/morgandclarke

This week, Thomas Smith joins us on stage at ReasonCon 3 in Hickory, North Carolina for an atheist review of The Burning Hell. It's the story of a Nashville barbecue deciding to play biblical dress up while somebody secretly filmed it.

If you'd like to help us produce Citation Needed; our new podcast with Tom and Cecil, you can pledge your per episode support here: https://www.patreon.com/citationpod

To get tickets to see us live in New York City, click here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/god-awful-movies-live-in-nyc-tickets-33324201584

If you’d like to pick up a copy of our new ebook; Diatribes Volume 2: 50 More Essays from a Scathing Atheist, you can find it here: https://www.amazon.com/Diatribes-Essays-Scathing-Atheist-Presents-ebook/dp/B06XQTJT4R

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://soundcloud.com/morgandclarke

This week, Eli, Heath, and Noah team up for an atheist review of Don't Touch If You Ain't Prayed; the story of a 40 year old virgin that meets a terrible, terrible human and settles for him even though he's an abusive, married, cocaine dealer and sexually assaults her.

To get tickets to our live shows in New York, Seattle, or Salt Lake City, check here: https://scathingatheist.com/2017/05/01/god-awful-movies-world-tour/

If you’d like to pick up a copy of our new ebook; Diatribes Volume 2: 50 More Essays from a Scathing Atheist, you can find it here: https://www.amazon.com/Diatribes-Essays-Scathing-Atheist-Presents-ebook/dp/B06XQTJT4R

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://soundcloud.com/morgandclarke

This week, Eli, Heath, and Noah team up for an atheist review of End of Days, the story of a nuclear security guard fighting Satan with a grenade launcher.

If you’d like so see us live, check out our latest tour dates here: https://scathingatheist.com/2017/05/01/god-awful-movies-world-tour/

If you’d like to pick up a copy of our new ebook; Diatribes Volume 2: 50 More Essays from a Scathing Atheist, you can find it here: https://www.amazon.com/Diatribes-Essays-Scathing-Atheist-Presents-ebook/dp/B06XQTJT4R

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://soundcloud.com/morgandclarke

This week, Eli, Heath, and Noah team up for an atheist review of Heaven Bound, a lighthearted comedy about a couple of bumbling burglars and the senile Jesus freak that kidnaps and tortures them because invisible people want him to.

If you’d like so see us live, check out our latest tour dates here: https://scathingatheist.com/2017/05/01/god-awful-movies-world-tour/

If you’d like to pick up a copy of our new ebook; Diatribes Volume 2: 50 More Essays from a Scathing Atheist, you can find it here: https://www.amazon.com/Diatribes-Essays-Scathing-Atheist-Presents-ebook/dp/B06XQTJT4R

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://soundcloud.com/morgandclarke

This week, Eli, Heath, and Noah team up for an atheist review of The Prophecy; mostly so that Eli and Heath have an excuse to do their Christopher Walken impressions.

If you’d like so see us live, check out our latest tour dates here: https://scathingatheist.com/2017/05/01/god-awful-movies-world-tour/

If you’d like to pick up a copy of our new ebook; Diatribes Volume 2: 50 More Essays from a Scathing Atheist, you can find it here: https://www.amazon.com/Diatribes-Essays-Scathing-Atheist-Presents-ebook/dp/B06XQTJT4R

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://soundcloud.com/morgandclarke

This week, we combine direct to video with roman numerals in the title, and get exactly the kind of high quality film one expects in those circumstances.

If you’d like so see us live, check out our latest tour dates here: https://scathingatheist.com/2017/05/01/god-awful-movies-world-tour/

If you’d like to pick up a copy of our new ebook; Diatribes Volume 2: 50 More Essays from a Scathing Atheist, you can find it here: https://www.amazon.com/Diatribes-Essays-Scathing-Atheist-Presents-ebook/dp/B06XQTJT4R

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://soundcloud.com/morgandclarke

This week, Eli, Heath, and Noah tackle the last of the first three movies in the Prophecy trilogy, the third one. And as near as we can tell, the plot of this one is simply that people and/or angels are movies towards and/or away from one another.

If you’d like so see us live, check out our latest tour dates here: https://scathingatheist.com/2017/05/01/god-awful-movies-world-tour/

If you’d like to pick up a copy of our new ebook; Diatribes Volume 2: 50 More Essays from a Scathing Atheist, you can find it here: https://www.amazon.com/Diatribes-Essays-Scathing-Atheist-Presents-ebook/dp/B06XQTJT4R

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://soundcloud.com/morgandclarke

In this week's episode, Eli, Heath, and Noah take the stage live in New York City for an atheist review of The Cross and the Switchblade; the story of a white man and his burden.

If you’d like so see us live, check out our latest tour dates here: https://scathingatheist.com/2017/05/01/god-awful-movies-world-tour/

If you’d like to pick up a copy of our new ebook; Diatribes Volume 2: 50 More Essays from a Scathing Atheist, you can find it here: https://www.amazon.com/Diatribes-Essays-Scathing-Atheist-Presents-ebook/dp/B06XQTJT4R

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://soundcloud.com/morgandclarke

This week, Eli, Heath, and Noah team up for an atheist review of Love Different, an uplifting sign of American racial equality that proves you can make a painfully racist movie regardless of the color of your skin.

If you’d like so see us live, check out our latest tour dates here: https://scathingatheist.com/2017/05/01/god-awful-movies-world-tour/

If you’d like to pick up a copy of our new ebook; Diatribes Volume 2: 50 More Essays from a Scathing Atheist, you can find it here: https://www.amazon.com/Diatribes-Essays-Scathing-Atheist-Presents-ebook/dp/B06XQTJT4R

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://soundcloud.com/morgandclarke

This week, Eli Bosnick and Noah Lugeons team up with Michael Marshall of the Merseyside Skeptics for an atheist review of Six: The Mark Unleashed, the story of two men held prisoner by the antichrist, and another man, also held prisoner, except he’s a fake prisoner that has to kill the leader of the resistance. Or not, though, because it all turns out to be about satellites. Or, at least, it seems like it until it’s about something else at the end.

If you’d like to hear more from Marsh, you can find his podcasts here: http://www.merseysideskeptics.org.uk/podcasts/

For more information about the QED conference, click here: https://qedcon.org/

You should also know more about the Good Thinking Society: http://goodthinkingsociety.org/

If you’d like so see us live, check out our latest tour dates here: https://scathingatheist.com/2017/05/01/god-awful-movies-world-tour/

If you’d like to pick up a copy of our new ebook; Diatribes Volume 2: 50 More Essays from a Scathing Atheist, you can find it here: https://www.amazon.com/Diatribes-Essays-Scathing-Atheist-Presents-ebook/dp/B06XQTJT4R

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://soundcloud.com/morgandclarke

This week, Eli, Heath, and Noah team up for an atheist review of "Believe", the story of a down on his luck millionaire factory owner with so few problems he can afford to spend days stressing over a Christmas pageant, and the evil unionist blue collar workers that tried to take it all away by refusing to take two substantial pay cuts in a single calendar year.

If you’d like so see us live, check out our latest tour dates here: https://scathingatheist.com/2017/05/01/god-awful-movies-world-tour/

If you’d like to pick up a copy of our new ebook; Diatribes Volume 2: 50 More Essays from a Scathing Atheist, you can find it here: https://www.amazon.com/Diatribes-Essays-Scathing-Atheist-Presents-ebook/dp/B06XQTJT4R

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://soundcloud.com/morgandclarke

This week the God Awful Movies crew takes to the stage in Seattle Washington, where Heath and Noah review Journey to the Sky, and Eli eats brownies a fan gave them without asking what was in them.

If you’d like so see us live, check out our latest tour dates here: https://scathingatheist.com/2017/05/01/god-awful-movies-world-tour/

If you’d like to pick up a copy of our new ebook; Diatribes Volume 2: 50 More Essays from a Scathing Atheist, you can find it here: https://www.amazon.com/Diatribes-Essays-Scathing-Atheist-Presents-ebook/dp/B06XQTJT4R

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://soundcloud.com/morgandclarke

This week, guest masochist Seth Andrews joins us for an atheist review of "Bibleman: Defeating the Shadow of Doubt"; in which a man in a purple Nerf suit repeatedly hits on a child.

Be sure to check out the Thinking Atheist podcast for more of Seth's milk chocolaty voice. http://www.thethinkingatheist.com/

If you’d like so see us live, check out our latest tour dates here: https://scathingatheist.com/2017/05/01/god-awful-movies-world-tour/

If you’d like to pick up a copy of our new ebook; Diatribes Volume 2: 50 More Essays from a Scathing Atheist, you can find it here: https://www.amazon.com/Diatribes-Essays-Scathing-Atheist-Presents-ebook/dp/B06XQTJT4R

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://soundcloud.com/morgandclarke

This week, Eli, Noah, and Heath team up for an atheist review of The Mark; the story of a reluctant super soldier... no wait, an airplane heist... no wait, the rapture... no wait, an airplane that can't go below 3000 feet... no wait, the antichrist.

If you’d like so see us live, check out our latest tour dates here: https://scathingatheist.com/2017/05/01/god-awful-movies-world-tour/

If you’d like to pick up a copy of our new ebook; Diatribes Volume 2: 50 More Essays from a Scathing Atheist, you can find it here: https://www.amazon.com/Diatribes-Essays-Scathing-Atheist-Presents-ebook/dp/B06XQTJT4R

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://soundcloud.com/morgandclarke