Getting Real About Sex Addiction (Graeme Daniels)

Introduction to podcast series based upon the book Getting Real About Sex Addiction, as published by Rowman & Littlefield. Authors Graeme Daniels and Joe Farley will be speaking about all matters relating to sex addiction and psychoanalysis

1/2 hour episode, Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, introduces some basics about sex addiction and psychoanalysis, giving the listener a fuller didactic introduction to the involved discussions that will follow in this series.

1/2 hour episode featuring psychotherapist and author Graeme Daniels talking about his co-authored book, Getting Real About Sex Addiction, and discussing the relevance of psychoanalytic theory to the field of sex addiction.

This next episode wades into areas of ethics, sexual and gender politics, employing the psychoanalytic concepts of splitting and projection. Psychanalytic therapist Graeme Daniels discusses these ideas in the context of his and Joe Farley's book, Getting Real About Sex Addiction.

Psychoanalytic therapist Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, talks further about the analytic concept/defense of splitting, offering an illustration of craving states split from reflective states of regret, plus splitting in the form of rigid thinking, false states of certainty; he further speaks of gaslighting as a concept that actually yields a contrary ethos, and addresses the matters of sex addiction specialties (CSATS), sexual abuse reporting requirements, and so-called "no secrets" policies in sex addiction treatment.

Psychoanalytic therapist Graeme Daniels talks about sex addiction/problem sexual behaviors via the lens of psychoanalytic theory, drawing from the book he co-authored, Getting Real About Sex Addiction. In this episode, he interweaves an ongoing discussion of intrapsychic splitting with theories of developmental trauma, with applications for both acting out individuals and their impacted partners. Much reference in this podcast to the theories of Freudian analyst and trauma treatment pioneer, Sandor Ferenczi.

Psychoanalytic therapist Graeme Daniels talks about sex addiction/problem sexual behaviors via the lens of psychoanalysis, drawing from his and Joe Farley's book, Getting Real About Sex Addiction. In this episode, he speaks of the ways male sex addicts are treated differently than female sex addicts, starting with the curious discrepancy between rates of men versus women being treated for the condition.

Psychoanalytic psychotherapist Graeme Daniels, co-author of the book, Getting Real About Sex Addiction, published by Rowman & Littlefield, reiterates some analytic concepts that are relevant to sex addiction treatment, seeks to demystify the psychoanalytic model by offering a few illustrations

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, expands commentary on how confidentiality is managed in a sex addiction treatment episode, and then introduces an important feature of psychoanalytic method, the stance of abstinence and/or therapeutic neutrality, which may not be quite what you think it is.

In this episode, Graeme introduces Joe Farley, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, and talks about sex addiction, personality disorder, psychoanalysis, with some extra comments about how infidelity fits (or doesn't?) a sex addiction paradigm in 2022.

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, discusses a case illustration of an angry impacted partner from the book, who exhibits splitting defenses, dichotomizing self and others. Daniels also references the work of analyst Vamik Volkan, drawing attention to the analytic treatment of a female sex addict.

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, discusses addiction from the POV of a psychoanalytic theory of thinking. Addicts don't like to think, or they fear thinking, is the idea. Daniels also speaks of how sex addicts dichotomize their own sexuality and that of objects, referencing Freud's famous Madonna Whore complex.

In this episode, Graeme and guests Joe Farley and Don Mathews discuss sex addiction assessments as they are impacted by monogamistic versus polyamorous values systems, as well as psychoanalytic conceptions; plus, a reading of portions from the book Getting Real About Sex Addiction.

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, shares a short story vignette about a male sex addict in a typical "triggering" situation, prefacing the creative illustration with an exposition of two important Freudian concepts: repetition compulsion and death instinct.

Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, reprises a presentation about psychoanalysis, sex addiction, and the classic black comedy, Dr. Strangelove, featuring impersonations, commentary, film and musical clips. Based on a 2021 presentation entitled "Dr. Strangelove in the 21st century, or how I learned to stop worrying and love the virus" (click on link) at the "Creativity and Madness" conference

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, and guest Don Mathews discuss a controversial California law pertaining to child abuse reporting that has significantly impacted the treatment of sex addiction over the last decade.

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, profiles the uses of the group format in the treatment of sex addiction, the influence of the 12 step movement with respect to group psychology, and discusses psychoanalytic theory relating to group psychology, drawing upon the writings of Sigmund Freud and Wilfred Bion

In this episode, Graeme Daniels and Joe Farley, authors of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, discuss treatment of Narcissism in the context of sex addiction: as a legitimate point of clinical concern, and also as a weaponized, dubiously applied label.

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, discusses etiological, psychoanalytic theories that relate to sex addiction, contrasting the ideas of attachment theory, Freudian psychoanalysis, and modern psychoanalytic thinkers like Jean LaPlanche.

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, revisits the roots of sex addiction matters, this time sketching and commenting upon feminist theories from psychoanalysis that are popular both within sex addiction treatment and across psychotherapeutic models

in this episode, Graeme Daniels and Joe Farley, authors of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, are joined by recovery specialist Haven Jo Beck to discuss addiction, the history of the 12-step movement as influenced (or not) by psychoanalysis, plus the bridge between 12-step recovery and in-depth psychotherapy.

Welcome to season two and the year 2023! Graeme Daniels, psychoanalytic psychotherapist and co-author of the book, Getting Real About Sex Addiction, reviews all the principles, facts, and theories discussed in season 1 relating to sex addiction treatment and psychoanalysis, and previews how these areas will be expanded upon in season 2.

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, psychoanalytic psychotherapist, recounts a case illustration of an impacted partner of sex addiction, taken from his and Joe Farley's book, Getting Real About Sex Addiction. Daniels speaks to the trauma, both recent and historical, that manifests in the patient's life, distorting relationships yet playing out live in the treatment process.

Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, discusses this well-known 12-step recovery slogan in the context of a psychoanalytic treatment, a would-be couples therapy episode that will address sexually acting out, seen through a psychoanalytic lens. This poses the question, what happens if a patient says, "should I tell my partner why I'm seeking treatment?"

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, re-visits the treatment of impacted partners, discusses controversies around victim-blaming, revisits the matter of denied experiences, revisited memories, the theory of Apres Coup, plus additional comment about the case illustration of Anne.

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, discusses recently historical criteria for assessing sex addiction, citing proposed diagnostic categories, and separates that consideration from the observation of discovery and betrayal phenomenon, which so often serve as that which leverages a therapeutic intervention

Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, discusses the undercurrents of hate, and in particular gendered hate, that exist within sex addiction, and with the human mind in general, as a product of our primitive capacity for splitting defenses

No, not a cheesy "how to spot and deal with a borderline" show. Graeme Daniels and Joe Farley, psychoanalytic psychotherapists and co-authors of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, discuss the controversial diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), comparing it to Narcissistic Personality Disorder, reviewing its history in the field of psychoanalysis, tracing its theoretical etiology, and comparing psychoanalytic treatment of BPD with contemporary methods like Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)

Right up there with the question, is this a thing? In this episode, Graeme Daniels, psychoanalytic psychotherapist and co-author of the book, Getting Real About Sex Addiction, takes a brief swipe at this topical question/issue, observing nuances from previous discussions on this subject, most notably how notions of "sickness and health" as it pertains to the disease concept of addiction, influence strong reactions for and against the concept of sex addiction in particular

Teasingly curious title, maybe? Graeme Daniels reads a few passages from his and Joe Farley's book, Getting Real About Sex Addiction, contextualizes its content, both in terms of sex addiction treatment and psychoanalytic theory, but also with respect to current events

No tik tok video with someone reading off symptoms from a diagnostic standards manual. Graeme Daniels and Joe Farley, authors of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, discuss Schizoid personality disorder and/or type in the context of recent podcasts about Narcissism and Borderline Personality disorder, trace the history of psychoanalytic theory relating to Schizoid personality, and relate the phenomenon to a certain profile of sex addict

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, shares a short story that illustrates conflict avoidance, inhibition, plus fantasies of disinhibition and redemption via a symbol of romance and apology, in the context of a group experience. 

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, psychoanalytic psychotherapist and co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, critiques some commonplace ideas within psychotherapy, remarking on the verbosity with which ideas of empathy, "boundaries", "I" statement prescription, love language tropes are invoked and dispensed in the field of treatment

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, psychoanalytic psychotherapist and co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, again remarks on the staples of psychotherapy, this time time commenting upon non-verbal versus verbal communication, citing illustrations relevant to addiction and couples' communication, and relaying theory by the likes of D.W. Winnicott, Jacques Lacan, and Sigmund Freud.

In this episode, Graeme Daniels and Joe Farley, authors of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, talk about how the consumer of psychotherapy and addiction services has been lied to about what is effective treatment, providing illustrations from their book, including contemporary empirical research on treatment efficacy. 

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, psychoanalytic psychotherapist, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, wades again into the intersection of addiction theory and social mores, exploring how societal "groups" that are institutions, niche fields in psychotherapy, recovery movements, philosophical traditions, shape the values that are insinuated into mental health treatments.

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, expands upon ideas of group psychology, adding elements that influence the practice of group therapy: from the tacit rules or "contracts" that bind groups, segregate groups, protect from external groups, to the habits that people exhibit when expressing themselves in company.

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, psychoanalytic psychotherapist and co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, pays tribute to the late Martin Amis, a novelist and essayist who had something to say about porn addiction. Daniels also provides an informal post-mortem on the Covid-psychotherapy era: what's changed about how therapists work, how sex addicts play, and what might now stick around?

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, psychoanalytic psychotherapist and co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, gets back into analytic theory, expounding upon Freud's repetition compulsion, Melanie Klein's theories of projective identification, oral and anal sadistic impulses, and locates them as antecedents to some concepts that are prominent in modern day pop psychology.

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, psychoanalytic psychotherapist and co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, welcomes clinical psychologist Pedro Job as a guest from Portugal to discuss the psychic defenses of projection and projective identification: what is projecting into versus projecting onto, and how does this apply to the workings of addictive thinking. 

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, psychoanalytic psychotherapist and co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, shares from his essay entitled "The Shadow of Esther Perel" which reviews the Belgian therapist's 2017 book, State of Affairs: rethinking infidelity, and links his commentary to psychoanalytic principles and in particular, the current state of sex addiction treatment.

No laugh track, applause, or gimmick sound effect on this one: two guys, Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, and Pedro Job, clinical psychologist from Lisbon, Portugal, have an impromptu conversation about important concepts in psychoanalysis: projection, projective identification; about getting lost or else figuring out who we are, in relationship to others and ourselves, in any given moment.

In this first episode of season 3, Graeme Daniels and Joe Farley, co-authors of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, speak about the psychoanalytic concept of countertransference as a crucial aspect of treatment: the clinicians thoughts and feelings, drawn from the past, that transfer onto therapeutic relationships. An overview of theory and case illustration.

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, addresses use of full disclosure exercises and polygraph examiners in sex addiction treatment, and follows-up upon a recent podcast about the views of Belgian therapist Esther Perel relating to infidelity and sexual mores in the 21st century

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, talks about perversion from a psychoanalytic perspective, not a religious or moralistic one, and relates the subject to sex addiction treatment, plus concepts of voyeurism, fetishism, and masochism.

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, previews his and Joe Farley's forthcoming webinar presentation at the annual conference of the Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health (whew-got that out!) with a second rumination on the subject of perversion with a nod towards Freudian and Kleinian psychoanalysis. Oh, and robots!

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, reviews some basics regarding SA treatment: SA as a diagnostic matter, the marginal yet influential role of psychoanalysis; extending from that, this episode reviews the significance of symptom-formation, displacement, acting out, and repetition compulsion, as important theoretical concepts that inform treatment approaches both within psychoanalysis and outside of its professional circles.

Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, follows-up on matters of guilt, shame, the phenomena of repetition compulsion, defenses like displacement, with a discourse on how these ideas relate to female sex addiction and the treatment of impacted or betrayed partners. 

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, revisits intersectional issues, socio-political undercurrents that influence/infiltrate the therapeutic space of sex addiction treatment, and then applies these ideas to the case of an impacted partner previously spoken of in this series and profiled more comprehensively in the book.

In this episode, Graeme Daniels and Joe Farley, authors of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, tell anecdotes about feeling exposed, shameful, under pressure, yet working through tough moments with a sense of dignity and resilience. The questions are: how do people cope with their most primitive insecurities? Who are we in such moments, and what can we summon from inside, our reptilian brains or our higher selves?

The pros and cons of working in a team: Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, discusses the history/trend of treating addictions with a so-called team approach, highlighting the reasons that collaborative models are popular and worthwhile, exposing what is problematic pertaining to patient-clinician confidentiality

Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, reviews the book The Heart of Addiction by Lance Dodes, M.D., and focuses upon its thesis: that "true" addictions have a psychological underpinning that entails unconscious defenses against infantile states of rage and helplessness

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, reviews Terrence Real's 2022 book, "US", observing its relational life therapy model, which utilizes ideas grounded in psychoanalytic theory as well as modern neurobiology. Daniels further comments upon the book's application to couples therapy.

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, welcomes to the podcast two first time guests, therapists Jen Shelby and John Kravitz, to discuss their affiliation, work with sex addicts and impacted partners of sex addiction. 

In this episode, Graeme Daniels draws from a vignette from the book Getting Real About Sex Addiction, to discuss the relative merits of individual therapy or psychoanalysis versus couples therapy in the context of sex addiction or infidelity recovery treatment.

Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, discusses addiction from a psychoanalytic and 12-step perspective, speaking of the importance of consciousness as a precursor to honesty; the problem that addicts often don't know what they're feeling because their defenses are so embedded.

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, contemplates the presence, the pedigree, the value (or not) of the phrase "actions speak louder than words" in modern culture, and what psychoanalysis, the business world, and the law, have to say, in actions and words, about this principle.

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, improvises a version of his recent webinar for the Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health (SASH), about all things to do with psychoanalysis and sex addiction

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, discusses again the psychic defense of splitting in the context of one famously understood "split", Freud's Madonna Whore complex, and a lesser known female-to-male splitting analogy, the Saint-Brute.

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, welcomes therapist Andrew Suuskind as a guest to discuss sexual compulsivity, the pathologizing of sex, psychodynamic underpinnings to problem sexual behavior, plus the fostering of emotional resilience and the embracing of imperfection.

Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, invites therapist and sex addiction expert Don Mathews back to the podcast to discuss a controversial, now nine year old California law about reporting use of underage porn that has moved through supreme and appellate courts and is now about to get its due in an LA superior courtroom. Don is an expert witness in the trial. 

Graeme Daniels, co-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, riffs on ideas of instinct, personality development, Freudian theory, the rigidity of defenses, and relates these ideas to what happens when people seek help for their problems yet impulses still emerge

Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, welcomes therapist Eddie Capparucci as a guest to the podcast to discuss sex addiction and/or sexual compulsivity, plus the matter of how psychotherapy imparts, facilitates exploration of sexual mores, or imposes a society's values upon those who seek mental health treatment.

Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, revisits the chestnut meta debate that exists between proponents of short term treatment options versus those, like Graeme, who advocate for a longer term commitment to in-depth treatment--as "triggered", by marketing tactics used by treatment programs.

Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, discusses female sex addiction and women's infidelity, profiling the provocative insights of Michelle Langley, author of Women's Infidelity: Living in Limbo, and highlighting that book's compatibility with psychoanalytic theory

Part two of this discussion, Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, offers some case illustrative descriptions culled from his work with female sex addicts/problem sexual behaviors--compares/contrasts with profiles exhibited by male patients--again referencing the writing of Michelle Langley

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, psychoanalytic psychotherapist and lead-author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, contemplates the pros and cons of the sex addiction label from the point of view of the would-be addict and the impact partner, and then speaks of the intertwining of guilt and shame, in which false guilt, as perpetuated by sex addiction treatment models, often obscure attention to underlying shame

Opening podcast of season, Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, outlines topics that will be addressed on upcoming podcasts, including the re-framing of "the problem"; he then discusses a positive review of his and Joe Farley's book by Kirkus magazine, examining reviewers' comments in detail. 

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, riffs on numerous ideas previously addressed in this podcast series: where analytic perspectives on addiction fit in with the sex addiction field; the ethical/moral biases of practitioners, and how those biases play out among gender divides

Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, discusses the emotional impact of problem sexual behaviors, both for PSBs and their impacted partners, and features a case illustration of a group discussing whether to reveal porn use to an impacted partner

A mouthful of jargon? No, argues Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction. This episode presents common scenarios culled from dialogues between so-called sex addicts and their impacted or betrayed partners, and asks, what does it mean to be empathetic? to "validate" ? how does a feeling denied get communicated to another?

Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, discusses the World Health Organization's category of compulsive sexual behavior disorder (CSBD), focusing upon its ambiguous and complicated "marked distress" criteria for diagnosis

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, welcomes guest Michelle Langley, author of Women's Infidelity: Living in Limbo: What women really mean when they say "I'm not happy", to discuss myths that men and society have about women's sexuality, and debunk the idea that women are less inclined towards infidelity than men

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, published by Rowman & Littlefield, reflects upon the recent guest appearance of Michelle Langley on the podcast, and considers further her opinions about female sexuality and the myths that society attaches both to women's infidelity and domestic violence.

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, talks in historical and Freudian terms about the unconscious as a centerpiece of a psychoanalytic approach to the treatment of somatic symptoms, inhibition, guilt, and loss. 

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, published by Rowman & Littlefield, discusses the implications, the subtext, and the truer meanings within the increasingly popular sex positive therapy movement.

Graeme Daniels, lead author of the book, Getting Real About Sex Addiction, continues a discussion of the unconscious, venturing into a famous dream of a patient of Sigmund Freud's, dubbed "Wolf Man". The interpretation of his famous dream reveals (and represses) elements of aggression, fears of death, of castration anxiety relating to Oedipal wishes and a memory of a "primal scene". 

Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, published by Rowman & Littlefield, offers a preview of his academic paper, "Born Small, Addicted to Guilt", about psychoanalytic treatment of addiction, ahead of his public presentation at the San Francisco Center for Psychoanalysis.

Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, published by Rowman & Littlefield, reads part two of his analytic paper, "Born Small, Addicted to Guilt", presenting the case of Mr. D, illustrating the concept of repetition compulsion as it relates to self-punishing/pleasure-seeking behaviors of addiction, plus the displacement of guilt via patient/addict and--equally importantly--treatment provider-induced displacements of shame onto overwrought expressions of guilt.

Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, published by Rowman & Littlefield, discusses the language of mental health disorders, distinguishing for the listener categories that are prominent in social media but not standardized conditions as determined by the American Psychiatric Association or the World Health Organization, or peer-reviewed in professional literature.

part two of Graeme Daniels' excoriation of contrived labeling in the field of sex addiction treatment.

Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, published by Rowman & Littlefield, talks about the vagaries of sex addiction or infidelity treatment--its flawed premises and biases--particularly with respect to treatment efficacy, and offers an anecdotal vignette as to how a psychoanalytic treatment  might explore the mind of an addict in treatment. 

In this episode, Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, published by Rowman & Littlefield, discusses the problem of being a neurotic--not controlling how you feel--which underlies many addictions, which is about not controlling behavior. He also discusses in the spirit of the season the celebrated loners of yuletide literature, and cautions that guilt as an intervention works much more in Hollywood than it does anywhere else

Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, discusses factions within the fields of sex addiction/infidelity treatment: the factions that purport to represent acting out or addicted individuals or their impacted partners. A typical scenario explored from two sides illustrates ideological biases and tacit rules.

Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, published by Rowman & Littlefield, reads an email from a disgruntled impacted partner about responses to Esther Perel's State of Affairs. From this, Daniels discusses the problem of integrating perspectives amid a treatment culture that fosters taking sides. 

Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, published by Rowman & Littlefield, interviews Don Mathews, plaintiff in the forthcoming case against the state of California and a 2015 law originally named Assembly Bill 1775. This case, a decade in the making, is about privacy rights and psychotherapy versus the state's efforts to police child pornography

In this follow-up to his discussion with AB1775 plaintiff Don Mathews, Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, a Rowman & Littlefield publication, speaks of laws that inhibit proper use of mental treatment, the implications for mandated treatment episodes, plus the problem of people being deterred from proper treatment altogether.