Flying Free (Natalie Hoffman)
Explorez tous les épisodes de Flying Free
| Date | Titre | Durée | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 19 Dec 2023 | Ten Steps Out of an Emotionally Abusive "Christian" Marriage [254] | 00:32:23 | |
Getting out of an emotionally abusive marriage is one of the hardest things you could ever do. But the life and healing it can bring after you have finally left the grip of abuse makes this difficult journey worth it. In today’s episode, I want to outline a ten-step pathway if you or someone you love is considering getting out of an emotionally and spiritually abusive relationship. Come with me as we climb the ladder out of hell.
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher. | |||
| 03 Apr 2019 | What Happens When You Set Boundaries with an Emotional Abuser? [13] | 00:30:01 | |
So you set some boundaries, but then you get the kickback. Let's talk about that! Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher. | |||
| 31 Jul 2019 | Learning to Love the Bible Again After You've Been Spiritually Abused [29] | 00:34:02 | |
Women of faith in emotionally and spiritually abusive relationships have been bruised by Bible bombs over and over again. Religious abusers love to use the Bible as a weapon of control. As we walk through the healing process, how do we learn to love the Bible again? Our guest today is Stacey Wynn, a high powered career woman and abuse survivor who left the corporate world to go to seminary and help other survivors. She's going to teach us how to take back the Word of God and use it as a healing tool, the way it was intended. Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources:
Stacey Wynn is an ICF Certified Coach (PCC) who works in both corporate and private practice. As a survivor of a destructive marriage, Stacey understands that one major hurdle we must jump over is re-engaging with who we are— with authenticity. Stacey brings 25 years of experience with Fortune 500 business operations leadership and 10+ years of private coaching expertise. As a coach and consultant, Stacey is known for bringing clarity to complex situations. She asks thought-provoking questions, maintains a calming presence, builds trust, and encourages authenticity and reflection. Stacey uses knowledge-based coaching techniques and is an expert resource for faith deconstruction work. Her published workbook, Deconstruction: Your Journey in Faith, is available on Amazon. Certifications include: Hogan Assessments, iEQ9/Enneagram, MBTI® (Myers-Briggs), Change Style Indicator® (CSI) | |||
| 07 Aug 2019 | Taking Back Your Life After Emotional Abuse [30] | 00:59:06 | |
A fascinating interview with UK Gender Justice Specialist, Natalie Collins around her new book, Out of Control. We discuss the process of taking back your life from the grip of abuse as well as the patriarchal teachings that keep us stuck there. Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources:
Natalie Collins has been working to address domestic abuse issues for almost a decade, working directly with women subjected to abuse and domestic abuse perpetrators, and training church leaders and congregations on domestic abuse issues. She has delivered keynote addresses both nationally and internationally on the subject, and has spoken alongside Archbishops and UN representatives. Natalie is also the founder of the “Fifty Shades is Domestic Abuse” campaign and has appeared on national television, radio and printed media talking about abuse, consent and women’s rights. She has further written several articles and book contributions on domestic violence, and is the author of the widely used domestic abuse pack for UK churches, the Restored Church Pack. She set up Spark (www.sparkequip.org) and works to enable individuals and organizations to prevent and respond to male violence against women. She is also the Creator and Director of DAY (www.dayprogramme.org), an innovative youth domestic abuse and exploitation education program and of the Own My Life course (www.ownmylifecourse.org) for women who have been subjected to abuse. She organizes Project 3:28 (www.project328.info), co-founded the UK Christian Feminist Network (www.christianfeministnetwork.com), works as a Consultant with Press Red, has written a Grove Book on Gender Aware Youth Practice, and her book, “Out Of Control: Couples, Conflict and the Capacity for Change,” has been published by SPCK. She speaks and writes on understanding and ending gender injustice nationally and internationally. | |||
| 14 Jun 2022 | I Don’t Want to Look Like a Bad Christian if I Leave My Abusive Marriage [175] | 00:33:47 | |
Abusers who leave a relationship are as rare as steak tartare. In fact, waiting for an abuser to leave is similar to waiting for them to change. Or asking for a hippopotamus for Christmas. Riding a unicorn. Losing weight on a cake-only diet. Not likely. If abusers are so unhappy with their victims, why don’t they leave first? Because staying fits within the point of abuse: to control you. And unless he’s discovered an excellent and easy alternative, you’re an endless supply for your emotional abuser’s selfishness. On top of that, if you’re a Christian woman, he knows you take your vows seriously. He’s counting on you to stick it out, no matter what. He’s got “God” on his side. Finally, when he mistreats you, like any sane person or hurt puppy, you react, and it ain’t pretty. You’re so ashamed of your behavior. He knows it. So instead of focusing on the harm he’s doing, you’re consumed by what a failure—a raging, bitter wretch of a person—you feel like. And you wonder: Am I the abuser? You’re stuck between a boulder (an impossible, destructive marriage) and a hard place (your paralyzing beliefs). What now? This episode is full of answers:
Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com | |||
| 13 May 2020 | Should a Christian Wife Submit to an Abusive Husband? [66] | 00:26:10 | |
What does the Bible mean when it tells Christian wives to “submit” to their husbands? Was this kind of submission only for that culture? Is this a free ticket for men to take power over their wives? Should a Christian wife submit to an abusive husband? What is submission, anyway? Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com | |||
| 19 Jul 2022 | Understanding Three Sources of Anger (and why the source matters) [180] | 00:45:27 | |
What do love, hate, and pain have in common? Believe it or not: Being super ticked off. Anger. I’m serious as a heart attack. Anger stems from either love, hate, or pain. Which means there are some pretty legitimate and useful reasons to be mad. As well as some that are just nasty or unhelpful. So if you’ve been taught that anger is ungodly, wrong, or always a sign of bitterness, I suggest two things:
The can’t-miss parts of this anger breakdown:
Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com | |||
| 09 Jul 2024 | A Closer Look at Spiritual Abuse: Interview with Dan Koch [283] | 01:06:12 | |
Joining me for today’s fascinating episode is Dan Koch, podcaster and spiritual abuse researcher. Dan has created an incredible tool called the Spiritual Harm & Abuse Scale, and he breaks it down for us as we talk about spiritual abuse and the heavy impact it has on people’s lives. Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources:
Dan Koch is a licensed therapist in the state of Washington, the host of the You Have Permission Podcast and a spiritual abuse researcher who has developed the Spiritual Harm & Abuse Scale, currently in use by religious trauma clinicians around the world. | |||
| 30 Dec 2020 | How Do You Deal with the Pain of Being Rejected by Your Family? [99] | 00:31:53 | |
These are the questions that gnaw at your bones, that leave your soul hungry, and keep you up at night. Questions asked from the fire, the long road, the dark, and the doubt. Questions like: How do you deal with the pain of being rejected by your family? You're in good company. I understand; I can relate; and there are answers and a way forward, even in the middle of your deepest pain. "The fact is, if we are letting other people’s ideas and beliefs dictate our own happiness and our own emotions, that is going to create terrible results in our life. We’re basically giving over all the power for our future, the things we do, our emotions, and how we show up in the world to other people. We might as well go back and live in an abusive relationship." In this episode, I give answers to:
Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher. | |||
| 13 Apr 2021 | Staying Connected to Our Kids Post-Divorce [114] | 00:25:16 | |
Christian women facing divorce experience tremendous fear around how to protect their children and help them heal. In today's episode, I answer listener questions about staying connected to your kids post-divorce, how to handle parental alienation, a healthy approach to decision-making, figuring out if your husband is really changing, and more! In this episode, learn:
Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher. | |||
| 12 Apr 2022 | How Churches Can Help Abuse Victims (And How They Often Hurt Them Instead) [166] | 00:29:44 | |
It’s hammer time. I’ve broken down the problems churches face when abuse victims come forward (along with how churches usually react). Then, I smash through the fallacies their hurtful behavior is constructed on. Finally, I provide the building blocks of how to respond to abuse like Jesus did, so the church can be a tool of healing instead of just…tools. Cause there’s no point in demoing a building if you don’t intend to build something better. Here’s how the real church should respond to women begging for help from abusive partners. This tool belt of an episode hits on:
Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com | |||
| 12 Dec 2023 | What if My Husband Removed My Access to Money, a Phone, and More? [253] | 00:22:03 | |
One of the biggest hurdles to getting out of an abusive relationship is money. Today I’m answering two listener questions related to this issue.
These are very common questions emotional abuse survivors have, and I want to answer them in today’s episode.
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher. | |||
| 20 Jul 2021 | Is the Cost to Leave an Abusive Marriage Worth It? [128] | 00:49:19 | |
Why are you staying in your abusive marriage? For many women, the price to get free seems too high. They fear destitution, losing their children, revenge by their husband, more trauma and heartache, a scarlet "D" on their chests, the legal hassle...the list goes on. These are real, valid fears. And terribly high, but prevalent, costs. Which raise the question: Is it worth it? Amie experienced all of these things and more to get out. Listen to her story and decide for yourself. This podcast includes:
Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher. | |||
| 28 Oct 2020 | How Do I Know if a Church or Person Is Safe for Me? [90] | 00:59:53 | |
In our interview with Patrick Doyle, find out:
Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources:
Patrick Doyle has over thirty years of working with people from all over in treatment centers, churches, and through his office. His authentic and transparent way of leadership has drawn followers from all over the world. As a public speaker and coach, Patrick takes difficult conversations head on; communicating hard truths with honesty and safety. He is passionate about connecting with people so that they may see their individual value and as a result, experience the freedom from the lies that destroy their wellness of spirit. His hope is that people will partner with him in helping others see, believe, and act on their intrinsic value. Patrick lives in beautiful Southern Oregon. On his down time, he enjoys spending time with his two adult sons, reading a good book, or experiencing a new adventure with people he is close with. | |||
| 16 Oct 2019 | I Can't Stop Hoping He Will Change His Abusive Behavior [39] | 00:30:42 | |
Rachel and Natalie answer a listener's question about trauma bonding - or why you may feel an addictive bond to your abusive partner in spite of his abuse. We talk about intermittent reinforcement and how that plays a role in abuse. Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher. | |||
| 11 Oct 2022 | Confronting Religious Trauma and Reconstructing Faith [192] | 00:40:52 | |
“I’m going to be ninety-two next month, and I have waited my entire life for a book like this.”
A woman said this to Tiffany after she spoke to a Sunday School class about her book, “Gaslighted by God: Reconstructing a Disillusioned Faith.”
Many Christians are told their doubts are a sign they haven’t prayed or fasted enough. That their spiritual frustrations are an indication they’re backsliding. That they just don’t have enough faith.
Do you feel a sense of futility over ever measuring up as a Christian? Ever pleasing God? Ever nailing down the formula for blessing or meeting the mark for making yourself small enough?
Tiffany wrote “Gaslighted by God” to give a voice to the pain of devoted Christians whose faith is cracking under the abuse of legalism, who are desperately clinging to beliefs that are hurting them, and who need to know it’s not their fault. In this episode:
Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources:
Tiffany Yecke Brooks is the lead or contributing writer on more than two dozen books, including multiple New York Times bestsellers. She is the coauthor of Fear Is a Choice: Tackling Life’s Challenges With Dignity, Faith, and Determination (with NFL running back James Conner), Limitless: The Power of Hope and Resilience to Overcome Circumstance (with Paralympic gold-medalist Mallory Weggemann), and the narrative nonfiction historical thriller Espionage and Enslavement in the Revolution: The True Story of Robert Townsend and Elizabeth (with historian Claire Bellerjeau). Her newest book, Gaslighted By God: Reconstructing a Disillusioned Faith was released in May 2022 by Eerdmans. She has also published articles in peer-reviewed journals and the Smithsonian.Tiffany holds a PhD from Florida State University, where her dissertation covered, in part, cultural adaptations of stories from the book of Genesis, and an MA from the University of Bristol in the UK, where her thesis examined cultural influences and literary techniques in the Gospel of Luke. A popular speaker for student groups, faith conferences, and academic lectureships, Tiffany has taught literature and writing at Abilene Christian University, McMurry University, and the University of South Carolina – Beaufort. | |||
| 08 Apr 2020 | Abused by Husband and Rejected by Church [61] | 00:58:17 | |
After Lisa lost her husband of 23 years to death, she ended up marrying a man who abused her in every way possible. In spite of opposition from her church home, she got out of her abusive marriage and started Riverledge Farm in Vermont, a gorgeous place where she hosts wedding parties and healing retreats for survivors. Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher. | |||
| 05 Jun 2019 | But Maybe God Will Do a Miracle and Change My Husband! [22] | 00:38:33 | |
In episode 22 Natalie and Rachel answer four questions from listeners: 1. Why do I still keep hoping my abusive spouse will change? Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher. | |||
| 01 Jun 2021 | Finding Your Personal Style After Years of Emotional Abuse [121] | 00:36:15 | |
Ugly. Fat. Frumpy. Gross. These words ache inside of you and echo in your mind. Maybe they were said to you, maybe they were shown to you, maybe society planted them in your mind. Recovering from abuse isn't just about healing the inside, it's about manifesting life on the outside. You were created to embody beauty and appreciate it — in your smile, with your clothes, your hair style, even the makeup you choose to wear — and Jill Swanson is an expert in helping women do just that. In this light-hearted podcast, learn:
Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources:
Jill Swanson is a Christian image/style consultant whose passion is to help women feel good about themselves and the way God created them – on the inside and out. Jill understands the second-guessing and insecurity that many of us experience when we look in the mirror. Her goal is to see women blossom as they step into their lives with newfound confidence. With an emphasis on simplicity and affordability, she helps women make the most of what they’ve got, effortlessly, everyday! Jill is the author of several books, including Simply Stylish — Look Great, Spend Less! and the newly released 30 Day Makeover — Inside and Out. | |||
| 23 Apr 2019 | I Can't Be Perfect Enough for My Husband [16] | 00:33:14 | |
Have you felt weighed down by impossible, always-changing standards of perfection, depending on who you're dealing with? Rachel and Natalie discuss the insanity of this common tactic of the enemy to steal your joy and neutralize your power. Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher. | |||
| 02 Apr 2024 | Do Marriage Intensives Help to Heal Abusive Marriages? [269] | 01:05:08 | |
Gretchen Baskerville joins me in today’s episode to talk about a survey she recently conducted on peoples’ personal experiences with marriage intensives. In her survey of 330 people, what she found was shocking, fascinating, and not at all what she expected (mostly). Listen to today’s episode to find out the twelve biggest surprises in this survey and what they mean when it comes to the effectiveness of expensive marriage intensives. Each surprise gets more and more fascinating as the episode unravels - you won’t want to miss this! Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources:
Gretchen Baskerville is a Christian divorce recovery leader and researcher. Since 1998, she has worked in churches in the Los Angeles area helping heartbroken people find strength, courage, and healing. For more than 20 years she has worked with Christian women and men going through difficult, life-saving divorces, listening with compassion to those who have suffered from domestic violence, betrayal, infidelity, addicted partners, and emotional abuse. Herself the survivor of a toxic marriage, she walked through her own lifesaving divorce and was a single mother for many years. Today she is happily remarried. She is a graduate of Wheaton College with a degree in Bible and Christian Education. | |||
| 01 Nov 2022 | My Abusive Husband Says I’m Unbiblical Unless I Reconcile with Him [195] | 00:30:06 | |
“Unless you forgive and come back to me, you’re disobeying God and the Bible!” If I were your abusive husband, I’d say the same thing. Why? Cause then I’d get what I want. Woohoo! Isn’t that what the Bible is all about? Oh, begging your pardon. I was basing my opinion off how I see most church leaders and many legalistic Christians approach the Bible. Which means that if you’re looking for advice on whether you should reconcile with your abusive husband — and what reconciliation really means — you’re going to get a whole charcuterie board of different answers. From biased people. Trying to interpret text that doesn’t give a full answer on… basically anything. Consider this alternative: Ask a different question and provide your own answer. Sound heretical? Then keep reading (and listening). In this episode, I spill some tasty tea on:
Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com | |||
| 15 Jul 2020 | When You Are Rejected by Family, Friends, and Church [75] | 00:27:41 | |
In this episode I talk about the challenge abuse survivors face when they begin to tell others what has happened to them. This is where they discover the truth that many of the relationships that they had were actually built on the shaky premise that they had to capitulate to the opinions and desires of everyone around them in order to be loved and accepted by other people. They realize that it wasn’t just their partner who defined them in a certain way. It was a lot of the people in their life. What happens is that a survivor sees herself mirrored in the eyes of other people. What she sees is a distortion of who she is because other people don’t really know who she is all the time. They have their own ideas, but they don’t necessarily know who we are, especially if they are abusive themselves. What abusive people usually do is project their own shortcomings onto other people – mostly onto their intimate partner or children. If they have weaknesses deep down in their own life they are ashamed about, in order to feel better about themselves they will project those exact weaknesses onto their target. Then if she is highly sensitive, she will take on the shame of their abuser. She will take it on herself and begin to see herself that way even though that is not who she really is in her core. Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com | |||
| 27 Jul 2021 | Why Hanging on to Hope in an Emotionally Abusive Relationship Doesn't Work [129] | 00:17:34 | |
"Till death do us part." Those words haunt you. The enemy was supposed to be outside of your home and family. Easy to see. Protection just a prayer or a locked door away. But the one stealing from and killing and destroying you is the one you lie beside at night. The one you promised your forever to. And he's counting on it. You need to listen if:
Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here* *Friedman's Fables by Edwin H. Friedman 1990. Copyright Guilford Press. Reprinted with permission of The Guilford Press If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher. | |||
| 16 Jul 2024 | God Doesn't Hate ALL Divorce [284] | 00:33:12 | |
“Does God really hate divorce? And why haven’t my years of praying brought any fruit?”
Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources:
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| 11 Jul 2023 | How Cognitive Dissonance Can Be a Sign of Healthy Growth [231] | 00:26:17 | |
Cognitive dissonance seems like it would be a “bad” thing, right? It can actually be a very good thing, and vital to our growth! Take a deep breath - it’s okay if you’re experiencing cognitive dissonance. In this episode, I break down what cognitive dissonance really is, why women in emotionally abusive marriages may experience a lot of cognitive dissonance, how cognitive dissonance can help us create better, healthier thoughts, and I also share three fun illustrations of cognitive dissonance for all you listeners who love a good word picture. Ready? Let’s dive in. Key Points From This Episode:
Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com | |||
| 02 Feb 2021 | How Do I Heal After Abuse and Sexual Betrayal? [104] | 00:46:42 | |
It's the deepest form of betrayal you've ever imagined or experienced. In fact, you may have denied the truth for years, because the pain of reality was too devastating. It's destroyed your view of God, men, and family. If you're wondering "How do I heal from sexual and spiritual abuse?" your first step is to start with the truth of how you've been harmed. Acknowledging the very reality you denied to protect yourself is what will begin your journey of freedom, healing, and restoration. In today's podcast: -The importance and power of honesty in a survivor's recovery process Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources:
Rochelle Sadie, M.Ed., is a life long learner and truth seeker, completely humbled by God’s grace and kindness. Some of her greatest joys include laughing with true friends, snuggling with her dogs, hiking a scenic trail, and finding a deal at the local thrift shop! You can usually find her reading about all things recovery, healing, and hope! She passionately leads betrayal trauma support groups in the Minneapolis, MN area for women who have been devastated by the effects of their partner’s sexual addiction. She also offers one-on-one coaching for women beginning their journey to joy and beauty after abuse and sexual betrayal. | |||
| 09 Sep 2020 | Trusting God While Making Your Own Adult Choices in Your Controlling Marriage [83] | 00:13:31 | |
Trust is risk. Trust forces us to decide what we believe, make choices based on those beliefs, and respect what others choose to believe and do. We aren't called to control others, please everybody, or even defend our decisions. But we are called to live bravely using the knowledge, experience, and power we have.
Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com | |||
| 21 Nov 2023 | Survivor Story: Stacie [250] | 00:31:32 | |
What would you do if you found out that your husband of twenty-two years was arrested and put in jail for domestic violence during the time you were first dating him… and you didn’t know about it until now? Stacie’s story is one of betrayal, loss, disappointment, and then a rising from the ashes. After twenty-two years, she finally had the bravery to say “no” to abuse and say “yes” to loving the woman with her name. Follow along as she outlines the red flags that she saw when they were first dating, the tumultuous journey of their marriage as her husband mistreated and abused the woman he promised to love and care for, and the climax — her escape from it all.
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher. | |||
| 11 Mar 2020 | Nothing I Do Makes My Husband Happy [57] | 00:43:10 | |
Debby tried appeasing her abusive husband for decades, but nothing ever changed. It wasn't until she realized her health was deteriorating that she knew it was up to her to change something. Listen in to Debby's story of survival, how she got in and out of the abuse, and what happened when she went to counselors (with a twist!) Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher. | |||
| 14 Aug 2019 | What if I'm a Narcissist and Not a Victim? [31] | 00:35:39 | |
Natalie and Rachel answer two listener questions. 1. My husband says I'm the narcissist. What if he's right? 2. I'm divorced and don't want to be single forever. Help! Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher. | |||
| 01 Oct 2019 | When You Are Betrayed by Your Church, Family, and Friends [38] | 00:58:58 | |
In this interview with public speaker and coach, Patrick Doyle, we talk about how to cope with the traumatic betrayal that occurs when women of faith stand up against abuse in their homes. Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources:
Patrick Doyle has over thirty years of working with people from all over in treatment centers, churches, and through his office. His authentic and transparent way of leadership has drawn followers from all over the world. As a public speaker and coach, Patrick takes difficult conversations head on; communicating hard truths with honesty and safety. He is passionate about connecting with people so that they may see their individual value and as a result, experience the freedom from the lies that destroy their wellness of spirit. His hope is that people will partner with him in helping others see, believe, and act on their intrinsic value. Patrick lives in beautiful Southern Oregon. On his down time, he enjoys spending time with his two adult sons, reading a good book, or experiencing a new adventure with people he is close with. | |||
| 06 May 2020 | God Loves You More Than He Hates Divorce [65] | 00:39:33 | |
In spite of numerous red flags, Kary married her abusive partner when she was very young. After 29 years, she was able to save some money and get out. Now she shares some insight into what made her stay for so long and what she would do differently if she had a do-over. I asked Kary if she could go back and tell her younger self one thing, what would she say? This is what Kary said: "Stop second guessing yourself. Trust your instincts and your gut. If you are uncomfortable, that is God speaking and directing your life. Listen to your own heart. You matter. Your thoughts matter, and you are valuable and dearly loved just as you are. You don’t need a man or anyone else to validate your worth. You need to love yourself first and foremost before you can love anyone else. Any man or woman who tries to control you or makes you feel less than is not a safe person. Healthy people build you up; they don’t tear you down. God never asked you to carry these burdens because He said His yoke is easy and His burden is light; so if you are feeling burdened and heavy and weighted down, stop and ask yourself why. Then lay down that burden at the foot of the cross and walk away free. God is not a slave master. He said it is for freedom that He has set us free, so don’t let yourself be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Marriage is not slavery. It is meant to be a beautiful reflection of Christ and His great love for us. If it is not, and you are being enslaved and abused, you are free to go. God loves you more than He hates divorce, and He wants you to live an abundant life and not a life surviving abuse." Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com | |||
| 05 Jul 2019 | This is What Covert Hidden Abuse Looks Like [26] | 00:36:17 | |
Today we'll meet an emotional abuse survivor who has perfectly captured the dynamic of covert abuse in an incredible poem. After she reads her poem, we'll talk with her about how she was able to realize her confusing experience was abusive. Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher. | |||
| 08 Aug 2023 | Bad Advice Christians Offer Emotional Abuse Victims [235] | 00:17:49 | |
You’ve probably read countless books and articles about marriage, how to be a good Christian wife, but if you’re in an abusive marriage, I’m here to tell you that these reading materials probably don’t apply to you. Many of the authors writing them don’t have any knowledge regarding abuse in Christian marriages, so there are no caveats, exceptions, or words for those women who are struggling with an abusive spouse. In today’s episode, I take apart an article on marriage that I recently read to prove my point that these articles really are not made for women who are dealing with an emotional abuser. The article may be applicable for a woman in a normal, run-of-the-mill Christian marriage, but for those of you who don’t find yourselves in a marriage like that, this article is probably not going to be for you. Let’s talk about why. Key Points From This Episode:
Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher. | |||
| 22 Jul 2020 | The Ways Religion Kills People [76] | 00:50:38 | |
Author, speaker, and counselor, Bob Hamp, dives deep into the ways religion kills people. This is a fascinating interview about good, evil, and the connection that sets us free from both. Related Resources:
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| 04 Sep 2019 | Breaking Destructive Relationship Patterns You Learned in Your Family of Origin [34] | 00:40:11 | |
In this interview with therapist, author, and speaker, Judy Herman, you'll find out how relationship patterns in your family of origin affect you as an adult. You'll also get some tools to help you move past destructive patterns into a healthier future. Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources:
Judy Herman is a speaker and author of “Beyond Messy Relationships.” She is also a licensed professional counselor and mental health service provider who helps leaders create connection beyond conflict in their own familial relationships so they can serve from a place of vibrant authenticity. In her private practice in Chattanooga, Tennessee, she counsels entrepreneurs, clergy, and other therapists. Her training with world-renowned marriage experts including Drs. John and Julie Gottman; and Imago Therapy founders, Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt. Her counseling career (which began in 2006) followed her first career of raising four children in a troubled marriage that ended after 29 years. She was compelled to write “Beyond Messy Relationships: Divine Invitations To Your Authentic Self” after her 2nd husband’s psychotic episode from bipolar disorder. This intense and dramatic memoir gives readers psychological wisdom and spiritual insight into their stories. | |||
| 09 Apr 2024 | Reframing Nasty Things People Say to Victims [270] | 00:35:59 | |
“Why do you keep bringing up the past?” “You can't have boundaries with me. You're my wife.” “You're too sensitive.” “I said I was sorry. You need to accept that. Let's choose to have a good day now.” “You think you're so perfect.” Do these phrases sound familiar? They certainly sound familiar to me. I want to show you some ways you can combat these words your abuser throws at you, even if you’re just combating them in your own mind. You don’t even have to say anything out loud (because we all know what happens when we try to reason with an abuser/fool). You can just say these phrases I’m going to teach you in your head, and that will be enough to give you the empowerment and strength you need! But first, let’s check out a negative review I recently received *gasp* and look to Matthew 23 to help us figure out if this reviewer is on the right track…or not. Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com. And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher. | |||
| 28 Feb 2023 | Setting Boundaries with Adult Children [212] | 00:17:27 | |
What does showing up for your children mean once they are adults? It is selfish to “let them go,” make mistakes, and struggle as they make their own way in the world? Also, why in the world would an abuser file for divorce from his victim? Isn’t it usually the other way around? Natalie is back answering listener questions, and her insights will encourage and support you. Key Points From This Episode:
Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com | |||
| 22 Aug 2023 | The Food Fight Inside Us: Sneak Peek Into My New Book Part Two [237] | 00:39:05 | |
I’m finishing up a new book chronicling my relationship with God through years of spiritual lies and emotional abuse. Today I’m sharing a little bit of part two, this time written from the perspectives of different parts of me during my adult years. You’ll meet Freaked, Rosie, Melancholy, Rude, and more. If you’ve ever felt like part of you believes one thing and another part of you believes something completely different, rest assured, you aren’t alone! Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher. | |||
| 09 Nov 2021 | Doing Deep Internal Healing Through Spiritual Process Groups [144] | 00:33:22 | |
“I’ll never heal.” Has that thought crossed your mind? There’s too much pain. Too much trauma stored in your body. Too many horrible memories trapped in your mind. It’s an ocean to cross, and you’re just treading water. You need deep internal healing. So how do you plunge into the depths of your most profound anguish productively and safely? With help from compassionate, well-learned people who’ve been in your shoes and have dedicated themselves to helping women like you. Megan Owen is such a woman. As a trauma counselor, she’s on a mission to provide comprehensive therapy for abuse survivors that brings the deep healing they’ve been seeking. In this episode, Megan answers these weighty questions and more:
Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources:
Megan is most widely known as the founder of Give Her Wings and Give Her Wings Academy. Since 2012, she has been fully certified as a crisis pastoral counselor (MAR, Pastoral Counseling). After stepping down as executive director for Give Her Wings, Megan turned her sights toward offering trauma therapy and spiritual and relational process groups. She aims to help survivors heal from trauma and abuse and even serve “exvangelicals” who are leaving their church but not their faith. She lives in Denver, Colorado, with her three amazing teens. | |||
| 22 Oct 2024 | Sexual Coercion and Betrayal in Marriage [298] | 01:12:21 | |
In this episode, Natalie interviews guest Anne Blythe, a leader in the Betrayal Trauma Recovery community. Together, they discuss the profound impact of sharing survivor stories, how lived experience can be just as valuable as formal expertise, and the damaging effects of sexual coercion in abusive relationships. Anne also sheds light on critical issues like manipulation, trauma, and reclaiming safety. Some Key Takeaways:
Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here
Anne is the Producer & Host of The BTR.ORG podcast and the author of Trauma Mama Husband Drama. She’s also the creator of: The BTR.ORG Meditation, Living Free, and Message Workshops. After years of attempting to stop her husband’s pornography use and “anger issues,” she turned her attention to establishing emotional and psychological safety for herself and her three children. As she learns in real-time, Anne shares her journey to help women safely and effectively separate themselves from their husbands’ (or exes’) emotional & psychological abuse and sexual coercion in order to establish peace in their homes. You can sign up to get group sessions with the coaches at BTR.ORG HERE. | |||
| 09 Mar 2021 | Is it My Fault Our Marriage Is Bad? [109] | 00:27:22 | |
Guilt is killing you. Shame is overwhelming you. Fear is crippling you. You can hardly think straight. The horror of your daily married life is mirrored by the agony within you. Natalie draws from her own story—the pains and the triumphs—to answer two listener questions from women just like you. These women have taken all the blame, and struggle with knowing their true responsibility—whether their bad marriage, and all the fallout from it, are really their fault. Spoiler alert: They're not, and there's even more good news where that came from. Listen in to hear:
Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher. | |||
| 28 Dec 2024 | Faith or Fear? A Flying Higher Moment 006 | 00:13:08 | |
Do you ever wonder if you're measuring up to God's standard? If you're good enough to win God's attention and help? If you've done enough to make your life really matter? If you're looking for a little hope, joy, and maybe even a restored connection to God’s original design for humanity, I invite you to listen in to today's Flying Higher moment and embrace the possibility of a deeper faith journey rooted in love instead of manipulation and shame. Resources mentioned: | |||
| 02 Dec 2020 | My Husband Changed After We Got Married [95] | 00:42:48 | |
My life had become a war zone. If there were red flags beforehand, I didn’t see them. I thought I was part of a fairy tale, a beautiful romance, a love story for the ages. My husband changed after we got married. I followed the script, I made all the effort, I took all the blame and responsibility. Nothing ever helped and nothing ever changed. Until I realized I could save myself. This is Barb’s story. Barb Spanier was married for 24 years and now helps others living in the same kind of hell she escaped. Her coaching practice, Integrative Coaching for Life, helps women live authentic, courageous lives no matter the struggles or circumstances they’re experiencing. She also works with Natalie to provide coaching in the Flying Higher program. Some great nuggets from today’s episode:
Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher. | |||
| 16 Sep 2020 | How to Prepare for Your Custody Case [84] | 00:44:16 | |
What if I lose my kids? How can I stand up for myself in the process of divorce when my husband seems to hold all the cards? How will I keep it together as I climb this ladder out of hell? These questions haunt women in abusive marriages who want to escape. There is hope and there are answers. In this episode, Wendy Hernandez, a Phoenix family law attorney, divorce coach, founder of the Hernandez Family Law Firm, and creator of the Command the Courtroom YouTube channel and online programs, covers several critical topics for divorcing women, including:
Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources:
Having tried over 1,000 cases during her 24 years as a litigator, Wendy is a courtroom warrior who has tackled every type of family law matter — from divorce to child custody and everything in between. Sharing secrets learned from the country’s top law professors at the University of Notre Dame Law School and during her battles on the family law front lines, Wendy is passionate about helping not only her clients, but also those representing themselves, to feel competent, confident and comfortable in the courtroom. | |||
| 30 Nov 2021 | Changing Your Role (Chapter Eight of Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage) Part Two [147] | 00:34:36 | |
If you’re like me, you were set up for your abusive marriage in the name of love. You thought people were teaching you godly womanhood and wisdom. You thought following the rules meant you’d experience bliss and peace in marriage. You thought you were honoring God by letting people harm you. But you were really just betraying yourself and holding the doors open for your own destruction. So if you’re ready to change your role, this is for you. If you’re ready to experience real, lasting change, this is for you. If you played the part and followed the rules and were the poster child for humility, long-suffering, and submission, but everything came crashing down anyway, THIS IS FOR YOU. This episode is full to bursting with truths to revolutionize your reality:
Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here Would you like to go through this book and companion workbook with other women just like you? Sign up to get on the waiting list for our next groups here: https://flyingfreenow.ck.page/groups If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher here: https://www.flyingfreesisterhood.com/join-flying-higher | |||
| 27 May 2020 | The Link Between Narcissism and Legalism in the Church [68] | 00:32:11 | |
"The fundamental bottom line of narcissism is that you are not a real person. You are only some other person or force that affects my life. As long as you affect my life, then I have to deal with you; but I don’t have to treat you as a real person because a narcissist literally does not see others as a real person – neither does the legalist: the legalist pastor, the legalist parent, the legalist church members. People say they don’t understand the church. How can you be friends (and we’ve all heard this) such deep, wonderful friendships for years, and you cross them one time, you do something where they think differently than you do, and all of a sudden you are a pariah. You are pushed away, they talk about you behind your back, and they are cruel. What kind of a friendship is that? That’s a friendship that is self-serving. That’s a friendship that didn’t value you as a person, it valued you as someone useful in their lives. I’m not sure that makes me feel any better, but it answers the question and again is a connection between legalism and narcissism." Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources:
Dave Orrison is an author and long-time pastor (42 years) who lives and works in Colorado happily enjoying life with his wife and eight sons. | |||
| 26 Apr 2022 | The Worst Things People Say to Justify, Minimize, and Excuse the Abuse You’ve Experienced [168] | 00:27:07 | |
I have two presents for you. One is a regift. The other is brand-spanking, hot-off-the-waffle-press new. First, I compiled some of the best (and by “best” I mean absolute trash and worst) things people say to Christian women in abusive marriages when they seek help or divorce. Second, I’m giving you a comeback. A burn-it-to-the-ground, shred-it-to-cheddar-cheese, drop-the-mic, break-the-wrist-and-walk-away comeback for every single one. I know how hard it is to stand before people who attack your character, deny your reality, determine your destiny, and demand your unquestioning allegiance…to your own destruction (in this case…as a married woman). The endless, useless, conflicting platitudes they give instead of real help and logical advice. I also know how gutted you feel, how tongue-tied and mind-mushed you are when people spout off what sounds holy and bossy and right but is actually idiotic and damaging. So unwrap your presents (press play) and revel in the ridiculous while I slaughter these silly arguments once and for all. And you can regift these babies with my blessing. In this episode:
Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com | |||
| 14 Oct 2020 | Protecting Yourself Financially During Divorce [88] | 00:38:29 | |
In this episode we interview financial planner, Leah Hadley. Find out:
Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here
Leah Hadley will tell you she’s had a lot of challenging financial times in her adult life-becoming a parent of three overnight, getting divorced, and losing her job, to name a few- times when careful financial planning was critical to her peace of mind. Now a best-selling author, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA), Master Analyst in Financial Forensics (MAFF), and an Accredited Financial Counselor (AFC), Leah Hadley is the founder of Great Lakes Divorce Financial Solutions and Great Lakes Investment Management. She is committed to strengthening families through financial wellness. | |||
| 06 Feb 2024 | All the Scary Little Gods: More Insider Scoop on My New Book [261] | 00:31:01 | |
We are gearing up for the release of my brand new book, All the Scary Little Gods, which will be available on Amazon in Kindle, paperback, and Audible formats on February 20th. In this episode, you’ll get some more sneak peeks including the foreword by Dr. Tiffany Yecke Brooks and chapters about my first kiss in college plus a time when I thought “crying out to God” would bring back some mail-in-rebate money. (That’s right. You’ll have to listen to believe it.) Laugh, cry, and roll your eyes with me in this sneak peek episode!
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher. | |||
| 19 Oct 2021 | When All Your Thoughts Are Despairing and Hopeless [141] | 00:41:09 | |
If you're like most Christian women in confusing and painful marriages, you've tried everything. You've read the books, the blogs, the sarcastic memes, and the devotionals. You've paid for counseling, training, seminars, and conferences. You've asked for advice from other couples, your parents, your pastors, friends, and the lady in the check-out line. You've prayed and given up all the fun things to eat and bit your tongue, and read your Bible and journaled, cried, and begged. But your marriage never changes. Or it just gets worse. You're withering. Your life looks like a wasteland. You feel like a shell of a woman. So what's the REAL ANSWER? What's THE ONE THING YOU’RE MISSING? It's simple. It's free. It’s right in front of you. In this hope-filled intervention your weary soul needs:
Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher. | |||
| 26 Jan 2021 | Christian Women Who Actually Care About Other Christian Women [103] | 00:26:45 | |
You've been promised help in your destructive marriage and recovery hundreds of times. How many of those delivered? What if you could see and hear proof before you invested in a program that offers life-changing coaching, support, community, and resources? Three women talk about their progression from victims to survivors to helping others get free — becoming Christian women who care about other Christian women. Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher. | |||
| 09 Dec 2020 | You Are Not Responsible for Your Husband's Behavior [96] | 00:39:41 | |
Sara was trapped in an abusive marriage. Her pain was only exceeded by the overwhelming confusion. After exhausting every avenue of help and hope, she reached a conclusion critical to every survivor's freedom and recovery: You are not responsible for your husband's behavior. Over the last three years she's been working to heal and rebuild her life, eventually starting her own business as a copywriter and editor. Now her joy is only exceeded by her gratitude. Highlights from this Episode:
Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher. | |||
| 01 Jul 2020 | Can Emotional Abuse Survivors Ever Learn to Completely Trust Again? [73] | 00:32:15 | |
Rachel, Becky, and Natalie answer two listener questions: 1. “After successfully escaping abuse, how do you determine that the respect or positive treatment that you receive from any new relationships are not just another wave of wolves in sheep’s clothing, waiting for their opportunity to show their teeth? It doesn’t feel fair or trusting to look at every person that comes through your new life now that you are healing as just another predator waiting to jump on you. Do you ever learn to completely trust again? When someone offers to help you with a task, is it possible to realize they are just genuinely wanting to help and not actually taking inventory of how many times they’ve offered help and now you owe them help in return? Going through life presuming that the world is always out to get you is exhausting and feels fearful and sad.” 2. “I saw my husband’s relatives whom I thought were strong Christians turn a blind eye to the abuse. Do they have the Holy Spirit in them? Are they ignoring His voice? How can I have heard so strongly from the Holy Spirit to get out, and yet these Christians are telling me I need to stay? Are they evil or just naively in denial? How do I reconcile this hurt?” Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com | |||
| 08 Oct 2024 | Why Does My Husband Act Like a Child? [296] | 00:21:04 | |
Understanding and Overcoming Emotional Abuse: A Journey to Personal Freedom In this episode of the Flying Free Podcast, Natalie reflects on the power of transformation and shares profound insights from both the Flying Free Kaleidoscope community and the personal stories of women who are seeking freedom from abusive relationships. With heartfelt testimonials and a listener’s deeply personal question about navigating a difficult separation, this episode delves into the complexities of emotional abuse and the path to self-discovery. The Power of Transformation: Real-Life Experiences from the Flying Free Kaleidoscope Natalie begins the episode by reading reviews from members of the Flying Free Kaleidoscope community—a safe space for Christian women seeking healing and growth. These women share how the program has impacted their lives in profound ways:
These testimonials emphasize the depth of support available to women within the Flying Free Kaleidoscope program. Natalie likens the community to a “kaleidoscope of butterflies,” a metaphor representing the beauty and strength of women transforming their minds—and ultimately their lives—through support, coaching, and faith. A Listener’s Question: Navigating Separation and Emotional Abuse Natalie addresses a question from a listener who is struggling to understand her husband's childlike behavior and lack of engagement during their separation. The listener shares her journey of enduring seventeen years of anxiety, feeling inadequate in her marriage, and facing a spouse who refuses to communicate or take responsibility. The listener asks three key questions:
The Alligator Metaphor: Focusing on What You Can Control In response, Natalie draws a vivid analogy, comparing an abusive relationship to falling into a swamp with alligators. She explains that focusing on why the alligator behaves the way it does is futile. Instead, the priority should be on getting out of the swamp. Similarly, understanding the abuser’s mindset isn’t the key to healing. Rather, the focus should be on what you can control—your own decisions, actions, and growth.
Reframing the Questions Instead of asking why her husband behaves in a certain way, Natalie encourages the listener to shift her focus. She offers three thought-provoking reframes for the listener’s questions:
Natalie emphasizes that healing comes from within, not from trying to understand or change the abuser. She explains how many women are conditioned to prioritize the needs and feelings of others, often at their own expense. But true freedom comes when you take control of your own life, set boundaries, and focus on your own growth. The Mission of Flying Free: Transforming Minds to Transform Lives
If you’re looking for a place to belong and grow, the Flying Free Kaleidoscope community might be the support system you’ve been searching for. Visit joinflyingfree.com to learn more about how you can start your journey toward healing today. Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources:
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| 18 Apr 2023 | Eight Steps to Getting a Divorce: Understanding the Divorce Process [219] | 00:20:24 | |
Have you ever considered getting a divorce, but the process is so foreign to you that you feel like shutting down when the thought crosses your mind? It can feel big, unfamiliar, and overwhelming. I want to help break it down for you in eight steps so you’ll have an overview of what it’s like and how to prepare. Let’s talk about picking an attorney, what the paperwork might look like, how your soon-to-be-ex might respond, what mediation looks like, and more. Divorce does not have to be scary and can actually be life-saving for you and your family. Key Points From This Episode:
Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com | |||
| 02 Sep 2020 | I'm Always Walking on Eggshells in My Christian Marriage! [82] | 00:38:08 | |
Have you ever been told to let the past be the past (even though the past is your present and your present is a prison disguised as a marriage)? Robin walked on eggshells and hid herself away to survive. After years in an abusive marriage, she believed God didn’t love her and that he hated divorce more than anything. She was taught that her body wasn’t her own, and her job was to make her husband happy at all costs. But no matter how small she became, it was never enough. No matter how hard she tried, he was never happy. When she dared to bring up her concerns or ask her husband to stop harming her and the kids, he blamed her, and the cycle began again. Robins talks about:
Since gaining freedom from her husband, Robin no longer lives in fear in her own home. She is sure of God’s love and knows that what he really hates is abuse. There is also, finally, distance between the past and her present. Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com | |||
| 11 Jan 2022 | Rediscovering Your True Self After Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse [153] | 00:40:53 | |
Feeling like a moldy lemon? Maybe you’re just an onion. If you've escaped the horror of a destructive relationship, but you still feel numb, anxious, depressed, and like a steaming hot mess...it's easy to believe that “being jacked up” is the new normal. And your whole identity. It’s not. In fact, what you're searching for is closer than you can believe: You're still a whole person. Your true self isn’t lost. Your body is actually trying to help you heal. The best of you is still there. But some of these things are covered by layers. Like an onion. Coatings of trauma. Blankets of pain. Wrappings of core wounds. Cocooned lies. Want to know how to find that sweet little onion core again? Sara Richmond and I explore this very question. Listen as we discuss the following revelations and more:
Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com | |||
| 29 Apr 2020 | How to Respond to Emotional Abuse Tactics [64] | 00:37:42 | |
Emotional abuse tactics leave a target feeling confused and powerless. Learn some strategies to help you recognize the tactics when they happen as well as respond from a place of clarity and power. If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com | |||
| 20 Sep 2022 | I’m Afraid of My Christian Husband’s Criticism and Disapproval [189] | 00:39:17 | |
Imagine a mother who stares at her baby.. She won’t smile. Won’t look it in the eye. Doesn’t react when it holds its arms out to be held. Refuses to comfort it when it cries. The baby screams and sobs. The mother won’t move. Now multiply that cruelty across each thousands of days. Switch the mother for a husband. Change the baby to a wife. Other people may throw out the “But does he hit you?” strawman (only extremes, only obvious physical, qualifiable harm counts as abuse). But that baby knows better. You know better. Your desolate heart knows better. The most devastating hurts don’t show on the outside. In this episode:
Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com | |||
| 13 Jan 2021 | How Do I Deal with Emotional Triggers? [101] | 00:24:55 | |
One of the most satisfying and helpful things for survivors of emotional and spiritual abuse is finding answers. After living in confusion and chaos for years, answers are a homecoming for our weary souls and roots for our new identity. In this episode, Natalie fields three listener questions from women just like you, including: How do I deal with emotional triggers? How do I find safe people? What can I use to teach my church how to help victims of abuse? Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here Listen to learn:
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher. | |||
| 24 May 2022 | Protect Yourself From Financial Abuse with Attorney Lisa Zeiderman [172] | 00:43:14 | |
The thought of contacting a lawyer made her sick. To live through her abusive marriage was hard enough. Would she have to bare all the details of her twisted reality to someone…and pay them for it? Where would she get the money for that, especially since her husband was hiding his paychecks? Is your story anything like this? I get the hesitation. The fear, the dread, and disgust. Bringing somebody else into your messy life is humiliating. But (and this is a really big but(t)), there are so many really important reasons to contact a lawyer when you’re in an abusive marriage. Because protecting yourself from financial abuse isn’t easy or simple, and it takes someone who knows what they’re doing. Which leads us to questions. You have so many questions. So I invited a lawyer who’s at the top of her game to answer the questions women just like you want (and need) answered. Because this knowledge is worth its weight in gold. And your protection is worth even more than that. This episode answers:
Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources:
Lisa Zeiderman is a matrimonial attorney, certified family law specialist, certified divorce financial analyst, and managing partner at Miller Zeiderman LLP, based in New York. She was named to the Crain’s New York list of Notable Woman Attorneys for 2022, a Hudson Valley Best Lawyer in 2022, and a 2021 Best Family Law Attorney for Client Satisfaction by the American Institute of Family Law Attorneys. She also serves as the vice president of the board of Savvy Ladies, Inc., a nonprofit helping reduce economic and racial disparities in financial education for women. | |||
| 24 Nov 2024 | Decluttering: A Flying Higher Moment 001 | 00:12:33 | |
Introducing Flying Higher Moments: A short little weekly insight into topics that are important to you. Today we talk about the parts of us that want to hang onto things in case we might need them AND the parts of us who think that's dumb. Let's talk about decluttering! | |||
| 29 Oct 2019 | The Intersection Between Abuse and Pornography [41] | 00:43:08 | |
Natalie interviews author, counselor, and speaker Andrew Bauman on the intersection of pornography and abuse. Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources:
Andrew J. Bauman is a licensed mental health counselor with a Master of Arts in Counseling Psychology from The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology. He and his wife, Christy, run the Christian Counseling Center for Sexual Health & Trauma in Seattle, Washington, and Andrew is the author of Stumbling Toward Wholeness, Floating Away, The Psychology of Porn and (with Christy) A Brave Lament. | |||
| 10 Jul 2019 | If I Leave My Abusive Marriage Am I Giving Up On the Power of God to Change My Husband? [27] | 00:56:07 | |
Natalie and Rachel answer three questions about staying or leaving. What if he is starting to show some change? If I leave, am I giving up on the power of God to help? Is five years too early to leave an abusive marriage? Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher. | |||
| 17 May 2019 | Is Self-Care Selfish, or is it a Sacred Duty? [19] | 00:31:43 | |
What exactly is self-care, and why is it important? Is self-care selfish, as so many Christians seem to think? In this episode, Natalie talks with Sarah McDugal about why self-care is actually a sacred duty. Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources:
Sarah is an author, speaker, and abuse recovery coach who works exclusively with female survivors of abuse in the faith community. She offers online coaching for both groups and individuals, available internationally, for women recovering from abuse. She also conducts training events for churches and organizations on how to recognize and respond to abuse, as well as inspirational events focused on God’s love and healing for women and teen girls. | |||
| 31 Jan 2023 | Nine Codependency Behaviors Religious Communities Reward in Christian Women [208] | 00:44:20 | |
There’s a lot of confusion surrounding the term “codependency.” Is codependency bad? Am I codependent? How do I know? And what can I do differently if I want to break some of my codependent habits? In this episode, I break down eighteen different codependent thoughts and beliefs that many Christian women are taught. I also explore nine codependent “rules” that abusers and abusive religious communities hold us to that create codependence in us, and then I systematically explain why they are flawed and how we can change our thoughts surrounding them. We are not stuck in codependency. Let’s learn how to break free from the rules and regulations that keep us in codependent cycles. Key Points From This Episode:
Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com | |||
| 01 Feb 2022 | What Are the Biblical Grounds for Divorce? (And Other Questions!) [156] | 00:24:04 | |
Are you confused over whether you have legitimate grounds for divorce? How should you respond to people who claim you’re cynical and oversensitive when you try to speak against emotional and spiritual abuse? What’s the best way to handle family members, especially children, who think you’re the bad guy in your abusive marriage? What if you’re separated but you just aren’t ready to divorce…and the clock keeps ticking? Limbo is a fun party game…and a lousy place to live. So let me offer some advice that will break you out of the ruts these difficult questions might have you stuck in. Highlights from this episode:
Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com | |||
| 05 Jan 2024 | BONUS EPISODE: New Beliefs for Christian Women in Emotionally and Spiritually Abusive Marriages | 00:22:54 | |
On January 1st I asked the Christian women in my private forum to tell me what truth they learned in 2023 that had rocked their world and changed their life forever. Then I read their answers, and they took my breath away. When I started breathing again, I knew I had to share them with you, so I created this bonus Flying Free podcast episode AND a PDF download for you HERE. These are all written by ordinary Christian women in extraordinarily challenging and painful marriages. I hope these thoughts will give you hope and a vision for what is possible. XOXO Natalie Hoffman If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher. | |||
| 13 Feb 2019 | Waking Up to Emotional Abuse so You Can Focus on Healing [8] | 00:37:18 | |
In episode eight, Rachel and Natalie discuss unhealthy ways of coping with emotional abuse as well as better ways of coping that will enable you to detach and refocus your mind and energy on healthier things that will build you up and help you heal. Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher. | |||
| 17 Apr 2019 | During Separation, How Do I Cope With an Overwhelming Workload and No Support? [15] | 00:32:50 | |
When you separate from an abusive partner, you find the peace that comes from not being in close proximity with emotional/spiritual abuse. However, as your to-do list grows exponentially, so your support declines. Here are some ways to cope with that. Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher. | |||
| 23 Aug 2022 | How to Know If Your Christian Dating Relationship is Toxic [185] | 00:29:42 | |
As terrible as being married to an abuser is, there’s something worse. It’s getting free from your abuser, then getting remarried to another one. For a lot of survivors, that’s their worst fear. Can they trust themselves to identify red flags when they were taught to dismiss them for so long? Will they be able to see past the BS if a potential suitor is slick and smooth but a turd of a guy underneath the facade? How can they be sure they’re choosing a safe, truly good person, not a Dr. Jekyll / Mr. Hyde? I know that fear all too well. And I trust myself to choose good people now. (I did; I’m remarried to one.) I’ve also taught hundreds upon hundreds of women how to spot red flags in relationships. By the time you listen to this episode, you’ll know whether your Christian dating relationship (or any dating relationship) is toxic. The seven deal-breakers:
Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com | |||
| 27 Feb 2024 | Is Teaching Boundaries Victim Blaming? [264] | 00:38:51 | |
Is teaching survivors how to have boundaries the equivalent of victim blaming? I’ve seen this topic come up again and again, and I thought it was time I stated what I believe about it. The bottom line is that I believe that boundaries is an essential tool in a survivor’s toolbox. I also believe abuse is never, ever the survivor’s fault. Those two beliefs can go hand in hand nicely, and I’m going to show you how. Join me as I explain my stance, why it’s important, and what McDonald’s burgers and fries have to do with the whole sordid affair. Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com. And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher. | |||
| 18 Jul 2023 | Dealing With Grief When Waking up to Emotional Abuse [232] | 00:17:42 | |
In today’s episode, we are going to be talking about the deep sadness that survivors experience as they begin to wake up to their reality and see the truth about their relationship. I get it — I was there. It took me a while to truly wake up to my reality, and when I did, that reality hit me like a ton of bricks. It was painful. Let’s talk about noticing and normalizing our pain so that we can move from grief a bit more quickly than if we just stuffed it down, ignoring it and drowning it out. We all have pain — the question is, how are you going to deal with yours? Key Points From This Episode:
Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com | |||
| 12 Aug 2020 | A Christian Woman's Identity Isn't About People Pleasing [79] | 00:17:56 | |
We are extremely powerful in this world. We don’t even know the power of a woman because our world has used so many tools to crush us into the ground. That’s why our personal work is so critical to our world. We may not see the full impact of the work that we do on our personal lives, but I guarantee that it's not going to be for nothing. You can be an example of what's possible for your children and grandchildren and all those who come in contact with you. Your example is going to reverberate into eternity. I think this is the start of something. God is doing something powerful in the world right now that we get to be part of. But we are pioneers. This is the beginning of a turning point, and we are exploring new territory and are taking old territory back. So this is pretty important. This episode mentions a brand new program for divorced women of faith. Flying Higher is now available! You can apply to join the program HERE. Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com | |||
| 26 Mar 2019 | How to Set Healthy Boundaries to Keep Yourself Safe [12] | 00:27:43 | |
Rachel and Natalie talk about what boundaries are, where we allow others to cross our boundaries, where we cross the boundaries of others, and how to set healthy boundaries in order to have nurturing relationships with ourselves and others. Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher. | |||
| 23 Jul 2024 | When the Abuse Survivor Has an Affair: Interview with Susan Estringel [285] | 00:37:50 | |
One of our listeners submitted a heavy question asking about how long she has to let the abuse continue. The snagging point? She had an affair. So, what does one do if they have an affair while in an emotionally abusive relationship? Does that mean they now deserve to be in an abusive marriage until they die? What are their options, and how can we think about this? Join my candid conversation with Susan Estringel, one of our coaches within the Flying Free program, as we untangle this situation and speak with compassion to those of you who have lived this reality. Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources:
Susan Estringel is a Life and Relationship Coach, Yogi, and Music Therapist with a message of self-compassion and resilience. Drawing from her own journey as a survivor of emotional abuse, Susan brings a personal perspective to conversations around Christian abuse survivors having affairs. With a passion for lifting others up to find and reclaim their voice, Susan offers a unique blend of lived experience and professional expertise in navigating the complexities of healing after having an affair. She specializes in rewiring limiting beliefs, setting boundaries, and shedding the heavy burdens of shame and guilt associated with affairs. | |||
| 21 Sep 2021 | Does God Love You Less Because Your Marriage is Bad? [137] | 00:28:48 | |
If your child was starving and asked you for bread, would you make her eat from a dumpster? If your child was dying of thirst and asked for water, would you pour sand down his throat? Are you that child? Starving for safety. And love. And honesty. And help. And tenderness. And dying a little more each day in their absence and their opposites. So why doesn't God treat you like a daughter? Why does he give food and drink and good husbands and happy families to some but to you...only pain? If these questions keep you up at night, this episode is for you. I answer listener questions about:
How asking questions about fears (like the fear that your husband and family are spying on your social media posts) is a simple way to BREAK THROUGH them Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher. | |||
| 30 Aug 2022 | Why Being Rejected by Your Church and Family Hurts So Bad [186] | 00:40:15 | |
“I don’t think I’ll ever heal from this,” she said. “You expect harm from people who only harm you. From him. Not the ones who know you, who grew up with you, who you went to church with.” Do you know the pain of rejection by your family, friends, and church? I do. I’ve lost entire nights of sleep swimming in that pain. It’s mind-numbing. Excruciating. A listener told me that after being rejected by her church and family, she felt like she was standing on an alien ship watching her home planet being blown up. Then she asked the questions you might be wondering too: How do we survive such great loss? Is there any healing for grief that goes deeper than your bones? Hurts that nearly fracture your body? Yes, dear one. But the truth is that as painful as the facts are, your hurt is increased 100 fold by the story you’re telling yourself about it. And the meaning you’re giving that story. From one heart-weary woman to another, here’s the scoop on the most important story of your life..and the secret to changing it. Because rejection hasn’t ended the good of your story. Not by a long shot. In this episode:
Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com | |||
| 17 Oct 2023 | Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn: Religion and Trauma Responses [245] | 00:23:48 | |
Today I want to explore the four common responses people have when they have experienced or are experiencing something that is threatening or traumatic. In particular, I want to focus on the fawning response and how that relates to our view of and our relationship with God. Let’s break down our responses of fight, flight, fawn, and freeze, and then destroy the false, abusive version of the God that we may have in our minds.
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher. | |||
| 09 Aug 2022 | 12 Life-Changing Beliefs That Will Unhook You From Abuse Part Three [183] | 00:49:57 | |
Life after abuse can feel like you’re just spinning your wheels. You struggle with the same things. The same thoughts. The same downward spirals. Over and over and over.
Flying Free is all about breaking out of harmful cycles, in and after abusive relationships. If you want to see this in action, Amie is a poster child for life beyond abuse: healing, thriving, and constantly growing.
Our discussion was so powerful, her story so incredible, the amazing freedom she’s experienced so inspiring, that we talked for two hours. There was no way I was going to cut a single minute from the recording, so I broke it into three episodes.
This series catalogs her thought transformations, from old to new, across the most important aspects of her life, the parts that were hit the hardest by spiritual and emotional abuse. So if you’re feeling stuck, defeated, or just plain frustrated as heck in your recovery process, this is one of the greatest freebies you’ll come across.
If you just started following along, check out Part 1 and Part 2, then skip back here for the grand finale. Because the last thing survivors want is for the abuse they survived to torment them into the future…and these episodes are a line in the sand. In Part 3 of 3:
Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com | |||
| 03 Aug 2021 | What You Need to Know When You Leave [130] | 00:43:34 | |
Your marriage was like a jigsaw puzzle. A big, confusing, fragmented mess. Once you found the "abuse" piece, everything fell into place. But are you prepared for what happens when you leave? Cause the gloves come off and the rulebook gets tossed out the window. From two women who've been there and who've heard countless stories of the same, here's the cheat sheet for what you need to know when you get out. This playbook includes:
Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher. | |||
| 10 Dec 2024 | When Coercively Controlling Fathers Sabotage Mothers' Relationships With Their Children [305] | 00:52:00 | |
In this deeply insightful episode, I sit down with Dr. Emma Katz to discuss the phenomenon of coercively controlling fathers sabotaging mothers' relationships with their children. Dr. Katz introduces the term “child and mother sabotage” (CAMS) to replace the often co-opted term “parental alienation,” highlighting its roots in coercive control and its frequent targeting of mothers. Dr. Katz explains how societal sexism plays a critical role in these dynamics, amplifying the harm done to mothers and perpetuating harmful stereotypes. She also touches on the challenges survivors face in escaping abuse and emphasizes the strength and resilience it takes to rebuild after experiencing coercive control.
Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here
Dr. Emma Katz is a researcher in domestic violence and coercive control, whose work has helped shape legislation and professional practice globally. Her book, Coercive Control in Children's and Mothers' Lives (Oxford University Press), is widely acclaimed. Emma also brings her research to the public in an accessible and influential way on her platform "Decoding Coercive Control with Dr. Emma Katz", which is read by 10,000s of people in more than 90 countries around the world. Emma's research has illuminated children's experiences of coercive control, which had previously remained largely invisible. She argues that children are affected by many forms of abuse inherent to coercive control, including the breaking down of close relationships with loved ones, deprivation of resources, constrained behavior and isolation from the outside world. Her research has been described as "pioneering work" that "will change how we understand and respond to children’s experience of domestic abuse.” | |||
| 02 Dec 2019 | The Holidays Make Separation and Divorce Even Worse [44] | 00:35:27 | |
The holidays have a way of making abusive relationships, separation, and divorce even worse. Families get split, take sides, and cause more hurt and pain than we think we can bear. Let's talk about how to cope during "the most wonderful time of the year." Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher. | |||
| 23 Dec 2018 | How Can You Still Honor Yourself in an Abusive Marriage? [2] | 00:36:03 | |
Women who have lived in destructive relationships give away their voices and their honor in order to placate their abusive partner. In this episode, Natalie and Rachel discuss what it means to honor yourself. Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher. | |||
| 12 Sep 2023 | Survivor Story: Married by Myself [240] | 00:42:15 | |
Today’s guest is Laurie Sullivan, a survivor of emotional abuse and sexual infidelity at the hands of her husband, a prominent leader in several churches they attended. Laurie outlines her story from getting married at age nineteen to a man she loathed in childhood to eventually finding freedom years later. Christ is at the center of Laurie’s story, showing Himself to her throughout her custody battle for her children and her third marriage to a good man. Listen in to this eventful story of Laurie’s journey out from abuse.
Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here
Born to two ministers, Laurie Sullivan was raised in faith that she embraced wholeheartedly at age four. Growing up with Jesus provided her a consciousness of God through every stage of development. She graduated from high school a year early and college with her B.S. degree in English Education to teach in her own classroom at 21. Nothing prepared her for the devastation ten months into her marriage to a youth minister, the man whose words and ambitions for Christ made her eyes shine with pride. Enter pornography, lies, deceit, young girls, and the murky waters of gaslighting. Now married and mother to eight, Nana to thirteen, she is a vibrant public speaker with a message of encouragement and hope to women who find themselves living a life they never dreamed of. | |||
| 30 Apr 2024 | How to Reframe and Recover From an Abusive Sermon [273] | 00:38:57 | |
Once upon a time, I dared to write a letter to the pastor of a church I was attending at the time (after having been excommunicated from another church for telling the truth about my life, requesting help, and then acquiring a divorce to protect myself). In my letter, I wrote that his sermon that morning did not take into account abuse survivors' experiences—survivors who were probably sitting in the pews that morning confused and scared about what he was preaching at them. I wanted him to hear his own words from a different perspective—a survivor’s perspective. Surely this letter wouldn’t fall on deaf ears. He was a shepherd representing Jesus, right? He loved his flock and would want to care for their hearts, right? Wrong. Let me read you the letter I sent him, and then let me read you his letter back. It may shock you that a “shepherd” would respond this way. It shocked me then, too, but it doesn’t shock me anymore. I’ll tell you why in today’s episode.
Related Resources:
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| 21 Feb 2023 | An Adult Child of Divorce Answers Survivor Questions [211] | 00:49:02 | |
Have you ever wondered what divorce would be like from the perspective of a teenager? The members in my private program, Flying Free, asked my daughter, Aimee, a ton of questions about her experience with divorce as a teenage girl. We’re here today to answer all of them: the awkward, the hilarious, and the intense. Aimee was fourteen-years-old when my ex and I separated and seventeen-years-old when we were (finally) officially divorced. She was in her teenage-prime. But she made it through to the other side and is now a thriving, mildly successful young adult (her words, not mine). She knows a thing or two about being a teenager living through divorce, things we might not know as moms of kids. Listen as we riff about what this experience was like for her as she grew up. Just a few of the questions you’ll see in today’s episode:
Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com | |||
| 24 Aug 2021 | What You Can Do When Your Christian Husband Bullies You Part One [133] | 00:21:41 | |
You are married to a bully. If only he'd steal your lunch money or call you a dingus during math class and be done with it. Instead, he makes everything into a torturous game with changing rules that benefit one person. Himself. On the really bad days, you want to learn karate and get featured on the evening news. Take heart, sweet potato. There's a better way. I've graphed his sleazy points and made a road map for dealing with his shenanigans. Fair warning: It's gonna take guts but it will be well worth it. And you won't even need karate. Your road map includes:
Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher. | |||
| 05 Sep 2023 | Love is Everything: Sneak Peek Part Four [239] | 00:34:00 | |
I’m finishing up a new book chronicling my relationship with myself and God through years of spiritual lies and emotional abuse. For the last few weeks I’ve been letting you into the creative process by sharing bits and pieces of my rough draft. Since the time of this recording, many things have already changed, and I’m excited to see how this book is transforming. I can’t wait to share the final version with you when it’s published in 2024. But for now, enjoy this last little sneak peek from Part 4 of my book: the part where I finally fly free. But just because I’m flying free now doesn’t mean my life is without heartbreak and challenges. Come listen to the story of my fight for freedom and some of the threads of my life that have made a major impact on me as an adult. Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher. | |||
| 14 Jan 2025 | What if My Abusive Husband Has Mental Health Issues? [310] | 00:35:12 | |
What if my abusive husband has mental health issues? Drawing on listener input, I tackle the complexities of abuse intertwined with mental health diagnoses such as bipolar disorder, ADHD, anxiety, and depression. I want to help you navigate the tricky waters of understanding biblical interpretations around staying in abusive relationships “in sickness and in health.” This episode is a lifeline for women seeking clarity and peace while healing and growing within difficult circumstances.
Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here
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| 24 Oct 2023 | Survivor Story: Shelly [246] | 01:01:35 | |
Is it me? Shelly thought it WAS her for so many years. “I must be the problem in my confusing marriage.” Today, our episode chronicles the story of her marriage to her second husband, a covert emotionally abusive man who even went so far as to *almost* convince her that she had Borderline Personality Disorder. Listen in as Shelly shares how she went from stuck to flying free. Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher. | |||
| 17 Jan 2023 | Help! My Husband Twists Words to Confuse Me, and I Feel Guilty and Full of Shame [206] | 00:41:08 | |
Have you ever wondered what Genesis 3:16 really means? Or perhaps your abuser is accusing you of forcing him into a transactional relationship simply because you’ve set down some boundaries he doesn’t like? How do we deal with these tough questions? In this episode, Natalie answers these questions by getting into the nitty gritty of Genesis 3:16, why we can trust ourselves, how not to get hooked in our abuser’s little game, and more. Let’s get out of the guilt and shame loop together. Key Points From This Episode:
Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com | |||
| 28 Mar 2023 | Survivor Story: Yvette [216] | 00:42:02 | |
Have you experienced being discarded by your husband, either emotionally or physically? Yvette Stone has experienced both. Being discarded is a pain that cuts so deep, even the strongest person is not immune to it. Yvette is here to tell us about her life story, from marrying her narcissistic abuser at nineteen to thriving as a trauma-informed psychotherapist who now helps other women just like her. Just like you. Join us as she tells her incredible story of healing. Key Points From This Episode:
Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here
Yvette Stone is a human, both being and doing. A former magazine publisher, Yvette changed careers midlife and now practices as a trauma-informed psychotherapist and life coach based in Seattle, Washington, specializing in helping women recover from domestic violence, particularly narcissistic abuse. Yvette earned her degree from The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology, and has worked as a Fellow at the Allender Center, and as an advocate with Northwest Family Life. In her free time, you can find her holding a one-sided conversation with her dog, doing some sort of intense workout, painting a portrait, reveling in paradox, or dreaming of her next great challenge. | |||
| 11 May 2021 | Why Relationships Are Complicated for Survivors and How to Unhook from Relationship Drama [118] | 00:35:34 | |
Living in abusive environments doesn’t just harm our hearts, bodies, and souls, it also wrecks our ability to have healthy relationships. When all you know (or most of what you know) is unhealthy, navigating friendships, family, romance, and even relationships with other survivors can be messy, confusing, and painful.
In this episode:
Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher. | |||
| 11 Apr 2023 | 7 Ways to Financially Prepare for Divorce [218] | 00:41:05 | |
Rhonda is here to give you all the advice on all things having to do with finances plus divorce. Money and divorce can be a tricky, scary topic, but our expert today wants to provide you with tips, tricks, and guidance on how to make the divorce process that much easier. You’ll learn about how to build credit, how to create a support team of people around you, how to be your own private investigator, and so much more in this informative episode with Rhonda Noordyk, certified divorce financial analyst. Key Points From This Episode:
Related Resources:
Rhonda Noordyk is a certified divorce financial analyst who founded The Women’s Financial Wellness Center in 2014. Her mission is to help reduce financial vulnerability for women going through divorce. She has impacted thousands of women through her signature coaching and consulting process– as well as her podcast called Divorce Conversations for Women. | |||
| 03 May 2019 | Is it Your Christian Duty to Surrender to Emotional Abuse in Your Marriage? [17] | 00:32:49 | |
Can a Christian woman in an abusive relationship take action against the abuse? Or is it her duty before God to surrender to it? These are the questions Rachel and Natalie discuss in today's episode. Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher. | |||
| 12 Mar 2024 | Excommunication Series: Valerie's Story [266] | 00:41:31 | |
In part two of our excommunication series, I interview Valerie, a former member of a Reformed Baptist church that excommunicated her for divorcing her unfaithful and emotionally abusive husband. After years of receiving “help” from her church as she endured betrayal after betrayal from her husband, she said enough was enough. But even as she divorced her husband and then tried to leave the church peacefully, they wouldn’t allow it. They had to have the last word. Listen to Valerie’s story today. Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com. And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher. | |||
| 31 May 2019 | Why the Church is Often the Most Dangerous Place for an Domestic Abuse Survivor to Get Help [21] | 00:34:40 | |
The church is sometimes the most dangerous place for a woman to go for help when she is in an emotionally and spiritually abusive marriage. Here's why. Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher. | |||