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31 Jul 2023
262: Burnout Recovery
00:18:48
This week on Embracing Intensity, I share my experience with the physical and emotional exhaustion that comes with severe burnout. In this episode, I share updates on my personal life that have contributed to burnout, dive into my recovery process and discuss how to overcome burnout symptoms. I also share a preview of what I have coming up as I recover from burnout this summer!
Burnout can affect every aspect of your life, from your job to your personal relationships. It's important to recognize the signs of burnout early on and take the necessary steps to address it. Whether it's through improving your work-life balance, seeking social support, or making small changes to your daily routine, there are ways to recover and find relief from burnout.
Recent research has shown that burnout is not just a result of long hours and excessive stress, but also a combination of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion. It can take a toll on your physical health, immune system, and even your mental well-being. That's why it's crucial to prioritize self-care and engage in activities that promote relaxation and rejuvenation.
Join Me
In this podcast, we'll explore various burnout recovery techniques, such as incorporating physical activity, spending quality time with friends, and getting enough sleep. We'll also discuss the importance of spending time on things we love, seeking professional help when needed, and finding support from friends, family members, and colleagues.
Join me as we navigate the journey of burnout recovery together. I'll share my personal experiences, as well as insights from experts in the field, to help you create a burnout recovery plan that works for you. Whether you're a busy professional, a parent, or someone struggling with burnout in any area of your life, this podcast is here to provide guidance and support.
So, grab a cup of tea, find a cozy spot, and let's embark on the path to burnout recovery. Remember, you're not alone, and there is hope for a full recovery. Let's get started.
In this episode:
I discuss my recent absence from content creation due to burnout and chronic headaches.
Factors that have contributed to my burnout including work-related stress and big life changes.
Updates on what’s been happening for me this year personally.
Giving myself permission not to be productive has been helpful in my burnout recovery.
Reconnecting with friends and reaching out for support has been beneficial, as many friends are also struggling after the isolation of the pandemic.
Engaging in activities that bring joy and relaxation, such as floating in a pool, can help with relaxation and letting go of stress.
Incorporating movement, such as going for walks, and seeking body work and acupuncture can aid in burnout recovery.
I am working on catching up on content for the planner club and developing neurodivergent-friendly planners for travel and relationships.
I’m open to taking requests for specific planner content to make it more neurodivergent-friendly.
I plan to create a printed planner using the disk bound system for customization.
Adding a new course to my membership called "Befriending Your Brain, Self Assessment Course."
Members of my course membership will have access to upcoming calls, guest speakers, call recordings, and new content.
I have many creative ideas and plans for the future, but I also need to honor my own burnout and recovery cycles.
Our next monthly call about writing to heal takes place on the third Saturday of the month at 10:00 AM Pacific time.
28 Feb 2022
245: Educating Gifted Students and Their Families with Barry Gelston
00:40:05
Today’s show focuses on the twice-exceptional experience. As with so many people in this line of work, my guest looks to provide for students and families the help and support that he needed–and didn’t have as he grew up. Join us to learn more!
Barry Gelston is the president of GHF, Gifted Home Education Forum. They do amazing work with gifted and twice-exceptional families. Barry is an educator through “Mr. Gelston’s One Room Schoolhouse,” an online homeschool program focused on providing individualized educational services for gifted and 2E learners. In this episode, we enjoyed discussing how being 2E ourselves led us to the work of helping and supporting 2E families.
Show Highlights:
Why Barry is intensely passionate about making a difference by being a positive activist who loves his family and tries hard to be a good person in the world
How Barry’s personal brand of intensity shows up with constant focus and rumination about one topic at a time and being aware of sensory overload
How Barry grew up totally dysregulated as an underachiever with social and emotional issues from being in a divorced family
How Barry approached his problems with his attempt at executive functioning skills to become a good student and make more of his life
What Barry would say to the adults in his life “back then”
Why Barry’s work today revolves around what he needed as a 2E child
How Barry learned to overcome his reading struggles and dyslexia to become a voracious reader
Why wonderful things are happening in strengths-based approaches with 2E students
How Barry’s cultural identity formed largely around growing up in a Jewish family in Queens
Why Barry always felt like he had to tone himself down or tune himself out as he grew up and learned the art of conversation
How Barry’s intensity felt out of control in early adulthood because of social pressures
How Barry uses his fire for good through teaching and his work, trying to fix for others what he wishes would have been fixed for him
How mindfulness, meditation, self-centering, and 2E awareness have helped Barry harness the power of his intensity
How creating systems and structures has helped with executive functioning for Barry–and how he uses it to help students
How Barry helps others use their own fire through connecting and learning from each other
243: A Difference-Maker in the World of Neurodivergence
00:42:44
Today’s show introduces you to a difference-maker in the world of neurodivergence. Her collective endeavors to advocate for kids, parents, and families are truly making a difference. Join us to learn more!
Debbie Reber is an author, speaker, and parenting activist. In 2016, she founded Tilt Parenting, a website, top podcast, and online community aimed at helping parents raise differently wired kids from a place of confidence, connection, and joy. Debbie’s most recent book is Differently Wired: A Parent's Guide to Raising an Atypical Child with Confidence and Hope.
In this episode:
Get to know Debbie, who lives in Brooklyn with her husband and 17-year-old neurodivergent child; they lived in the Netherlands for several years prior to moving back to the US
Why Debbie is intensely passionate about learning, being curious about everything, writing, helping kids and families, and running
How Debbie’s personal brand of intensity comes through in her inability to stop doing things and not being able to stop or rest
How Debbie grew up as a misunderstood child and class clown who channeled her energy into sports because it was the one area in which she was competent
How Debbie, as a high school student, worked just hard enough to get by and didn’t care about applying herself
How cultural factors affected Debbie: her family didn’t prioritize academics and didn’t teach her to value herself; there were strict religious rules that she wasn’t allowed to question
How Debbie’s best friend’s family w
ere the ones who introduced her to museums, travel, and a world outside her small Pennsylvania town
How Debbie learned to tone herself down during her college years because she wanted to be perceived in a certain way to achieve her “means to an end”
Why Debbie felt close to burnout during COVID and learned to prioritize what’s really important to her
How she has learned to enjoy her life more and not work so much
How Debbie uses her fire and drive to help people and make a difference
How making things sparks her and fulfills her
How Debbie has learned to be really organized from her beginning with poor executive functioning skills and is constantly hacking her own systems and processes
Why Debbie’s discipline around exercise and fitness is the key to mental and emotional health for her
How Debbie helps others use their fire by helping them create the lives they want
Why Debbie began Tilt Parenting almost six years ago because there were so few resources for parents of neurodivergent kids
How more and more adults talking about their neurodivergence is helping to “fuel the movement
Connect with Debbie:
www.tiltparenting.com Visit this site for Debbie’s podcast, multiple resources, and more
We are celebrating our 4th anniversary, 101K downloads! At this rate, I’ll make 200K in ½ the time! Keep sharing and listening so the message of Embracing Intensity can spread to those who need it!
For this week’s special episode, I asked audience and community members to share “What does Embracing Intensity mean to me?” I left it deliberately open ended, and got a wonderful variety of answers ranging from the meaning of the phrase, to the importance of the community.
In this episode:
Celebrating intensity, and harnessing its power.
Tuning in to the messages of our intense feelings.
Finding community that not only accepts, but appreciates your differences.
In this solo episode, I delve into my personal journey of overcoming a prolonged burnout to explore the concept of truly restful rest. I discuss the five areas of energy balance—physical, emotional, mental, social, and connection—from my 'Balancing Your Time and Energy' workbook. Through my experience, including the importance of joy-driven activities, social connections, and the INCUP (Interest, Novelty, Challenge, Urgency, and Passion) framework, I provide practical advice on how to replenish energy reserves effectively. Also, discover the value of doing an energy audit to identify draining versus energizing activities. Learn more about my strategies for achieving genuine rest and explore my workbook collection for further guidance.
In this Episode:
Experiencing burnout and the importance of restful rest.
Five Areas of Energy Balance: Physical, Emotional, Mental, Social, and Connection.
Physical Rest: Emphasizes the importance of activities that truly relax the nervous system, like going for walks.
Mental Rest: Stresses shifting focus to activities driven by joy rather than duty to avoid energy drain.
Emotional Rest: Highlights the significance of assertive actions over anxiety-driven actions.
Social Rest: Explains how spending time with comfortable social connections can be energizing.
Connection: Discusses the importance of feeling connected to oneself, others, and the world.
Motivation Factors: INCUP - Interest, Novelty, Challenge, Urgency, and Passion - as motivational strategies.
Urgency: Talks about creating a sense of urgency through public accountability to stay motivated.
Challenge: Transforming tasks into challenges to stay engaged and motivated.
Interest: Recommends revisiting previous interests to reignite passion.
Novelty and Passion: Encourages switching things up to maintain novelty and passion in tasks.
Join our upcoming community call on the healing power of music!
We are celebrating our 5th anniversary of the Embracing Intensity Podcast by sharing past guests, listeners and community members answer to the question "What does Embracing Intensity mean to me?
I'm also launching my new website at EmbracingIntensity.com - go check it out and explore!
18 May 2021
221: Survival Mode
00:13:53
I once again had other plans for this episode but I realized I've hit survival mode for the school year. Every year since 8th grade, I've had what I called Spring Fever when I'd crash at the end of the school year. I've come to realize that it's the fatigue that comes from over taxing my executive functioning skills for too long.
Add a pandemic, last minute taxes, aging hormones, unfavorable med change and adapting to my son's new schedule getting up earlier Mondays, and my brain's pretty much toast today!
In this episode:
My creativity and new thought currently dried up
Meds are like brain glasses
Giving grace through the end of school
I'm opening up some 1:1 spots for coaching and adult learning assessment
An exciting collaborating to revamp my website with more info on how that looks this summer!
Threadless sale 15% off and just added all of Jays Workshop squirrel merch!
Call recording for Breaking the Stress Cycle available in the Embracing Intensity Community
Next call on Asyncronous Dev in Gifted Adults with Tiffany Chhuom
30 Nov 2020
201: Owning Your Power!
00:10:59
In his book How To Be an Adult, David Richo refers to assertiveness as “owning your own power.” This is so important because one of the best things we can do to increase our energy is to increase our sense of power and reduce our feelings of powerlessness. The most crucial way to do this is by getting clear on what we want and asking for it.
In this episode:
Assertiveness is owning your own power
Passivity is giving your power away.
Aggressiveness is changing power to control.
You can use the four step STAR (Stop, Think, Act, Request) to communicate assertively.
We had our first neurodivergent book club on Saturday, and one of the things we talked about was the complexity of labels. On the one hand, they serve as a tool to get information, support and connect with others, but it can also serve to separate us into "us and them" if we're not careful.
In this episode:
Why I avoided using the terms gifted and twice exceptional for so long, and why it's helped to finally use them.
Just because we can get by without a label, doesn't mean it wouldn't be helpful.
Being in both parent and neurodivergent adult spaces, parents are hesitant to label kids with disabilities, but not giftedness, while adults wish they'd gotten disability diagnoses sooner and often dislike the gifted label.
[Rerun] Twice Exceptional Relationships w/ Dr. Melanie Hayes
00:34:41
Continuing our top 2019 reruns. This has been one of our top episodes from it’s very start! 2019 was our first year of guest speakers, and we took a break for 2020 but had a great run in 2021. I’m super excited about our upcoming 2022 series especially because all of my top choices got back to me right away and agreed to speak. I’m still waiting on a few scheduling clarifications, but I’m pleased to announce that Jan. 22 we will have Leela Sinha, author of “You’re Not Too Much” talk about the Intersection of Queerness and Neurodivergence, and Feb 19th we’ll have Alexandra Loves talk about Passion vs. Drama! Get on our mailing list for updates and log in information atwww.embracingintensity.com. You can support the continued growth of these free calls by joining our community at community.embracingintensity.com or supporting Embracing Intensity on Patreon!
Navigating relationships successfully can be one of the most challenging things we ever do. The intensity and outside-the-box nature of twice-exceptionality (gifted plus disability), adds in a whole new layer of challenge. In this episode, Dr. Melanie Hayes shares both the joys and the hurdles of twice exceptional relationships.
In this episode:
Common issues in all relationships.
Additional challenges for twice-exceptional people.
Meeting our unmet needs in relationships.
A recipe for twice-exceptional people to connect with who they really are and have fulfilling lives.
In this episode, Zaakirah Muhammad joins us to discuss mindfulness, gratitude and how these practices can help to craft a more meaningful life in her talk on Seeing Life Through a Different Lens: Mindfulness and Gratitude as a Creative. She talks about how one can use visualizing, setting goals and forming a strong support system to help achieve their dreams. Zaakirah also shares some of her personal stories and how she has worked to create meaningful relationships and find her true self.
In addition, she talks about the role of culture and how one can use their cultural values and traditions to drive their motivation and set SMART goals that are qualitative and quantitative. Ultimately, this podcast episode encourages listeners to take small steps, stay mindful of their wants and needs, and form relationships with both family, friends and even strangers, to ultimately achieve a life of purpose and passion. By engaging in the practices of mindfulness and gratitude, one can find a clearer understanding of their purpose and lead them each step of the way to a happier, healthier, and more meaningful life.
About Zaakirah
Zaakirah has more than 10 years of professional photography and branding experience. She empowers people to step outside of their comfort zone through her gift of visual storytelling. Zaakirah is also the CEO and founder of Phocused Media Group which empowers and supports the growth of minority-owned businesses. She has overcome many challenges, including cancer, and autoimmune disease to establish herself as an innovative voice in the marketing industry. Zaakirah is the author of Seeing Life Through a Different Lens: A Survivor’s Memoir on Overcoming Adversity with Resilience. She also hosts the podcast called See Life Different.
Goal Setting Planner and Guide
The Goal Setting Planner Tools and Setting Purposeful Goals Quick Guide are perfect for anyone who wants to take their personal and professional lives to the next level. Our user-friendly resources provide step-by-step guidance on how to set effective SMART goals, create tangible action plans, and stay motivated and focused on your pursuits. With tailored activities, create achievable objectives, envision purpose, and explore core values for an enriching life experience. Find purpose and vision, set specific, achievable goals, and break them down into manageable steps for an effective plan towards success. Reach your aspirations, form strong relationships, and make time for yourself for a happy and meaningful life.
Meaningful Life Goals
Zaakirah’s encourages listeners to create and achieve their own personal or professional goals within their own unique way. By utilizing her advice and tools, such as setting specific goals, creating tangible action plans, ensuring SMART goals, visualizing, and finding motivation in family, friends and spiritual values, they can live a more meaningful, prosperous and satisfying life. Taking the first step towards one’s goal is the most crucial part, and with effort and dedication, they can one day reach the finish line.
In this episode:
Zaakirah is an Arabic name for the Hereafter, which is fitting for someone who survived retinoblastoma, a childhood eye cancer, detected by the bright light of a photograph.
Zaakirah is also living with PTSD and an autoimmune condition, Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, and has pursued both entrepreneurship and part-time work with a positive impact.
Zaakirah focuses on increasing awareness of ethnicities, religious faiths, geniuses, and disabilities, in order to create equitable education opportunities and personal growth.
Establishing a positive mindset as soon as you wake up through free form journaling and speaking into future tense.
Fueling your body with proper nutrition, e.g. fiber-rich meals and lots of water.
Utilizing technology to time block specific tasks and set reminders.
Remaining mindful and shifting negativity by listening to a focus-specific playlist.
Journaling and goal setting as powerful tools for personal development and finding your life purpose.
Prioritizing Self-Care
Taking time for self-care, such as music, meditation, nutrition, exercise, and art can help support and remind people of their sense of purpose.
Healthy eating habits help provide nurturance and energy for the day and improve physical health.
Affirmations are personal mantras that can be uplifting and empowering when spoken to oneself.
Zaakirah encourages listeners to reflect on their goals and purposes for their actions towards a fulfilling life.
Sign up for her email list for vision-boarding tips and more.
Utilizing the smart method (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely) for visualizing yourself and your meaningful goals.
Zaakirah has a podcast with almost 100 episodes with topics ranging from education and advocacy around BIPOC communities to creative workspaces and morning routines.
She is planning an in-person event called "See Life Different" to help participants explore purpose-building and develop skills for working in their businesses.
Visualizing the future helps participants recognize and seize opportunities, and it is also important to be conscious of signs of burnout and know when to say no.
194: Overcoming Executive Functioning Challenges with Seth Perler
00:50:39
As this show airs, we’re reaching two important milestones. We hit the 100K downloads mark, which is thrilling in itself. We also are approaching the fourth anniversary of the Embracing Intensity podcast, which means we’ve been at this for quite a while now! Reach out to me at Aurora Remember and let me know what “embracing intensity” means to you. We will feature these in our upcoming anniversary show next week! For now, enjoy another informative show with my inspiring guest who I've been a fan of for quite some time.
Seth Perler’s life’s work has been dedicated to helping kids overcome executive functioning challenges so they can have great futures despite our outdated educational systems. Seth’s mission is to help compassionate and proactive parents, educators, and others who care about kids. He wants to give honest, practical, and unconventional approaches to helping complicated, struggling students without BS or misinformation. He wants to teach the world about executive function, which is at the root of student struggles. Seth’s vision is a day when we don’t need executive functioning coaches because education is wildly successful at empowering all students with everything they need to have happy, healthy, and successful lives.
Show Highlights:
Why Seth is intensely passionate about helping struggling students and changing educators to understand these kids better
How Seth grew up as a curious, free-spirited kid who loved animals and nature but never fit into “the box” in school
How Seth was labeled as a lazy, irresponsible failure--and his “fire was squelched”
How Seth became a teacher of gifted kids but soon became frustrated with the system
How Seth’s personal brand of intensity loves nature and the environment and feels the suffering of other people, animals, and plants
Why Seth hates to see kids struggle to be understood
How Seth is intense with his sensory experiences and emotions
How kids’ feelings are invalidated by cultural factors that teach them that acknowledging their feelings is not OK
Why Seth had a hopeless and cynical attitude as a kid, knowing he was “not like the other kids”
How Seth learned to escape by going into social settings to avoid being alone
Why Seth felt trapped by his “darkness”
How Seth lived in his problem until he found the tools to step into the solution
How Seth uses his fire for good by teaching what he most needs to learn and using what he has struggled with to help others
How Seth harnesses the power of his intensity through meditation, the #1 way he understands himself
Seth’s advice to those who don’t think they can meditate
How Seth helps kids learn to shine through new mindsets, systems, and routines
Seth’s advice:
Focus on helping others with a heart and spirit of service
Meditate and have times of stillness
Learn to journal
Get in touch with your story to know what is BS and what is truth
Find Seth on YouTube and his podcast, Learn Smarter.
13 Sep 2021
236: Gifted and 2E Assessment
00:33:37
Today’s solo episode is about a topic that I’ve thought about for a long time, so I’m happy to bring it to you. We will discuss getting an assessment as a gifted or twice-exceptional adult, so I hope you find it helpful for me to share my thoughts and tips.
Show Highlights:
Considerations that are universal to all assessment types:
If you think you are gifted, you probably are.
Make sure the person doing the evaluation has experience with giftedness and twice-exceptionality.
Realize that every assessment will have limitations and strengths, and every evaluator will have personal biases.
Five types of assessments:
Diagnostic assessment
This will be done with a trained professional who can give a diagnosis. Always look for someone with experience with giftedness and neurodiversity, and ask what tools they use.
Psychometric assessment
This evaluation can give valuable information about your strengths and weaknesses, and it’s very standardized for comparison to others. It has limitations, like false lows and big gaps in highs and lows.
Qualitative assessment
This evaluation looks beyond just the numbers with things like observations, records, interviews, etc. It gives very useful information.
Self-assessment
The challenge in this evaluation is that there is a lot of information to take in.
Multimodal assessment
This kind of evaluation can be any combination of the other four types; it uses a variety of tools all together.
Helpful books: (See Resources for more information.) The Power of Difference, The Dyslexic Advantage, The Gifted Adult, and Your Rainforest Mind
228: Twice Exceptional Mental Health Advocate and Blogger
01:04:46
I met today’s guest through the neurodivergent community on Twitter. Join us to learn more about his inspiring story.
Joseph Gitau is a writer, singer, and blogger who has been diagnosed with ADHD and Bipolar I. With his childhood and youth being spent between his native Kenya and the US, he has a unique perspective about how neurodivergence is treated differently in both countries. Joseph uses his talents to promote mental health throughout his creative outlets.
Show Highlights:
Why Joseph is intensely passionate about mental health and the arts
How Joseph’s personal brand of intensity includes music and twice-exceptionality
How Joseph’s journey of discovery through school was difficult because he was an introvert
How the Kenyan tradition of children being “not seen and not heard” was very difficult for Joseph as an ADHD music-lover who always wanted to sing and play music
Joseph’s years in Kenya and the US, and how his ADHD and bipolar diagnosis came about
How Joseph has to tone himself down--even today
How Joseph’s intensity got out of control when he dropped out of university, and he didn’t know what to do next
Why Joseph does the important work to break the taboo around ADHD and promote mental health awareness
Why Joseph’s writing includes interracial characters
How celebrities represent neurodiversity to the world
Why society uses labels to put people in different boxes
How Joseph came to accept his neurodivergence
The mixed feelings around neurodivergence, superpowers, white privilege, and economic privilege
How Joseph uses his fire for good through his blog where he talks about the educational system, neurodiversity, and how marginalized people are affected
Joseph’s plans for the future
How Joseph harnesses the power of his intensity through yoga and learning to balance structure and flexibility
Joseph’s parting advice: “Don’t worry about tomorrow. Nothing is set in stone except what you did yesterday. Do what’s right by you, and people will respect you.”
Resources:
Find Joseph Gitau on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube.
16 Dec 2020
[Rerun] Helping People Thrive As The Best Version Of Themselves with Kate Arms
00:08:39
Continuing reruns for some of my favorite episodes from season 2 for this December! This week, I'm sharing my interview with Kate Arms!
I met today’s special guest, Kate Arms, at the SENG conference recently and was so inspired by her talk entitled "Thriving with Intensity: Mining The Magic From Your Overexcitabilities” that I knew Kate would be the perfect fit for the podcast. Kate is a classic overthinker, high achiever, and multipotentialite who exudes intensity. She gets bored easily as evidenced by a career that includes being a lawyer, an arts administrator, a coach to parents of gifted and twice-exceptional kids and gifted and twice-exceptional adults, and an Agile Coach in a high tech company. She is an eager student of western secular developments from Buddhist philosophy and practices and the Theory of Positive Disintegration and the author of the Extreme Resilience Workbook, L.I.F.T.: A Coach Approach to Parenting, Unblock: Writing Prompts for Works in Progress, and award winning short stories in the literary fiction and horror genres. She hosts two podcasts: Kate’s Nuggets features short episodes with advice on living well drawn from the worlds of coaching, leadership development, and psychology; Leadership Arts Review features conversations with leadership coaches about books about good leadership and the ideas in them. But what really lights her fire is being silly with her four amazing kids.
More in this episode:
Kate’s shares details about her personal intensity.
Factors that affected Kate’s intensity while growing up
Kate describes ways her intensity could feel out of control in the past.
Channeling ways of questioning others
Using leadership thinking to question self
How theater can help intense individuals.
No one person will have all the answers for you.
Kate’s personal practices
The personal passion that fuels Kate's intensity
The magic question
Resources Mentioned in the Show:
How to donate to help keep the podcast going via Patreon
283: Empowering Neurodivergent Voices w/ Fizzah Zaidi
00:33:57
In this inspiring episode of Embracing Intensity, I’m joined by the vibrant and insightful Fizzah Zaidi, a psychotherapist based in Chicago who works with adults with ADHD, especially those navigating high-pressure environments like tech and finance. We originally connected at an ADHD conference over boots and breakfast, and I’m so excited to bring her energy and wisdom to the podcast!
Fizzah shares her journey from a creative career in animation to becoming a mental health professional, her passion for social justice, and how she uses her intensity to empower her clients. Together, we explore what it means to navigate neurodivergence with curiosity, creativity, and self-compassion.
About Fizzah Zaidi:
Fizzah is a psychotherapist and former animator who brings her creative flair and social justice focus into her therapeutic practice. Working primarily with high-achieving adults in the finance and tech sectors, she specializes in supporting ADHD and twice-exceptional individuals as they navigate complex challenges in both personal and professional settings. Her approach is multimodal, trauma-informed, and deeply rooted in empathy, humor, and the belief that everyone deserves someone who truly believes in them.
In This Episode:
How Fizzah uses creativity and multimodal therapy to connect with clients
The role of social justice in her personal and professional intensity
Navigating cultural stigma around mental health and emotional expression
Toning down to survive: childhood masking and fear of judgment
Channeling intensity into advocacy: challenging grad school policies while pregnant
Why “being kind to yourself” means embracing your human moments
The power of curiosity and education in making sense of your neurodivergent brain
Executive function myths: the difference between lacking skills vs. activation
Building community care, challenging black-and-white thinking, and supporting clients in discovering their fire
Conclusion:
Fizzah reminds us that intensity can be a powerful force for justice, healing, and growth when it’s supported and expressed authentically. Her story highlights the importance of giving ourselves permission to feel, question, and grow in our own unique ways—and supporting others as they do the same. Whether you’re navigating neurodivergence, embracing your emotional depth, or looking for ways to channel your fire, this episode will leave you feeling seen and inspired.
🎧 Tune in now and discover how you, too, can embrace your intensity and turn it into your greatest strength.
This week I wanted to take a moment to share about the upcoming plans I have for the year to help gifted, creative and outside the box thinkers connect and realize their potential.
In this episode:
Upcoming topics and speakers for the Embracing Intensity Community.
Refreshing my website Adult Learning Assessment and Coaching information.
Creating lots of fun and hopefully useful content.
[Rerun] The Double Dilemma of ADHD and Giftedness with René Brooks
00:56:33
This December I’m sharing reruns of some of my favorite episodes from 2018. This one is from one of my all time hero’s René Brooks of Black Girl, Lost Keys. She was super amazing when I interviewed her and since then her following has absolutely blown up! I remember being excited for her last Christmas time when she hit 10 K followers on Twitter and now she’s grown exponentially with over 36 K. She’s also lined up a book deal and has a ton of other amazing projects in the works.
She’s also created 6 amazing workbooks on topics relevant to folks with ADHD including cleaning, time perception and “Guarding Your Yes,” and added a variety of great products to her store from T-shirts to fidgets and more! She now started gift cards just in time for the holidays. You can find it all on her website at blackgirllostkeys.com
What I’m most incredibly grateful to René for is bringing awareness to the topic of Twice Exceptionality.
Did you know that you could help somebody by just being honest and transparent about who and how you are? It's such a validating experience to know that somebody really gets you. Today's interview is with René Brooks. René's been a typical ADHD personality for as long as she can remember, losing keys, books, homework, and even her glasses sometimes when they were on her face! Although she was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of eleven, she never received any treatment for it until she was twenty-five. So her experience of learning that she had something real and that it could be worked with, started at that point. Listen in to find out what René has to share today, about growing up as a gifted person with ADHD.
René created a blog,Black Girl Lost Keys, with the intention of sharing the experience of receiving a diagnosis of ADHD later in life, while being part of a demographic that is still mostly skeptical about mental illness. ADHD and giftedness are not mutually exclusive, and many people don't realize that, so it was often hard for René to be understood while growing up. Listen in today to hear her talking about the ups and downs of her life growing up with ADHD, and how she channels her intensity, her fire, and her passions.
Show highlights:
What's lacking in the world of neurodiversity.
The similar experiences of people with ADHD within René's particular cultural dynamic.
What René Remembers most vividly about being a gifted child.
Being understood, and taken in context, has become more important to René than whether she's liked or not by someone.
René discusses her ethical stance regarding politics, power, and the abuse of power.
René has had to learn to pull herself back at times, as she can alienate people with her 'correctness'.
Why René doesn't speak about the experiences of other people.
What ally-ship in action really ought to look like.
We tend to make things so much more complicated than we need to.
René had a difficult time growing up as gifted, with ADHD.
People often don't understand that giftedness and ADHD are not mutually exclusive.
We really need to make space in the world for people who don't follow convention.
The ridicule that can come from not conforming to cultural norms.
The story of Henrietta Lacks.
The way that black people have been exploited and made to suffer in the past by the medical community.
More honesty and transparency in people would ultimately result in less suffering.
216: From Taking up Space to Channeling Your Powers with Landon Young
00:37:35
Have you ever felt like you were taking up too much space? My guest today shares how he moved from talking up space wherever he went to channeling his own unique powers to bring out the best in others. Join us!
Landon Young is someone I met on TikTok, which is unique as a social media platform that allows people to connect across social groups that might not normally interact. Landon describes himself as a “regular guy” who enjoys what he does as a North American Digital Brand Manager at Nike.
Show Highlights:
Why Landon is intensely passionate about sneakers, storytelling, his dream job at Nike, playing guitar, and spending time with his wife and daughter
How Landon’s personal brand of intensity includes empathy and passion as someone who is relentless and focused on the process
Growing up, Landon was always labeled as gifted and was supported by his parents
How Landon overcompensated for his issues with giftedness before medication helped him find balance
How cultural factors affected Landon as he grew up in a Mormon home;
He had a strong desire to excel but didn’t know how to process and regulate emotions
How Landon finds joy in discovering connections with others
How Landon has to tone himself down frequently--something he didn’t know how to do when he was younger: “I took up too much space and didn’t know how to channel my superpowers.”
How Landon learned to recognize the moments when he tends to get out of control
How Landon uses his fire for good as an “energy giver,” which he feels is his calling in life
How Landon loves helping others at Nike as he teaches retail employees about new products and innovations and creates campaigns for product launches
Habits that help Landon harness the power of his intensity include meditation, lots of water, and healthy supplements
Continuing our top 2019 reruns. One of my most popular topics is twice exceptionality, especially as it relates to ADHD. This is what prompted my work in sharing stories of twice exceptionality on YouTube and my upcoming 2E Comics. I’ll be launching a Kickstarter in the new year to help fund support with illustration so I can make it happen with my limited time!
Today’s episode is the Embracing Intensity Community Call with guest speaker Alexandra Loves. The topic is Drama vs. Passion, which is highly relevant to intense people. I’m excited to share this with you! You can find the full discussion atwww.community.embracingintensity.com.
As I’m working hard to finish out this school year, I am busy behind the scenes with some great projects planned for this coming summer and fall, and I’ll be sharing more about those later. Enjoy the call with Alexandra!
Show Highlights:
How Alexandra defines the concept of drama vs. passion: “Passion is an intense desire or emotion sourced from within from a loving place. Drama is a chaotic, ungrounded emotional desire that comes from a place of fear and is sourced from ‘out there’.”
A personal example of a conversation Alexandra had recently with someone about their passion–but it felt manipulative
What it feels like when someone says, “You are being dramatic.”
How Alexandra has learned to look for clarity and mutual trust in relationships
Why your passions are worth protecting with high standards and boundaries
How to deal with intense emotions and discern between drama and passion
Resources:
Connect with Alexandra and claim a free download,Unstuck: Remedy for Internal Toxicity:www.alexandraloves.com.
This week is a bit late and short again, but it's for a great reason! I hyper focused on a project the last two days that's ready to share as a collaborative effort!
The 2E Hub!
A place for gifted, creative and twice exceptional folks to share, learn and explore!
After a bit of a break from long-form content, I’m so excited to be back with a solo episode that’s deeply personal and incredibly timely. I’ve missed connecting with you more intimately through the podcast and am looking forward to bringing you more episodes like this in the coming months.
Lately, I’ve been diving into the topic of neurodivergent burnout, something I’ve experienced firsthand and that I know many of you can relate to. I’ve written two blog posts on the topic and shared a companion video on YouTube—and even tested out long-form content on TikTok for the first time!
This episode is a heartfelt exploration of what burnout can look like for those of us who are gifted, ADHD, autistic, or otherwise neurodivergent, and how we can begin to recover and reconnect with our energy and purpose.
About My Experience of Burnout:
Over the last three years, I’ve been working through the most intense burnout of my life. It started during the pandemic and lingered far beyond, as I struggled to return to the rhythms of daily life in a world that never truly went "back to normal." Like many neurodivergent individuals, I found myself caught in a cycle of urgency, executive dysfunction, emotional exhaustion, and identity loss—especially as a twice-exceptional adult who spent years masking and pushing through.
Throughout this episode, I share how I began healing by shifting my energy focus, consuming more uplifting media, and building out my self-regulation toolkit. These small but impactful steps helped me start to climb out of burnout and reconnect with my values and purpose.
In This Episode:
What neurodivergent burnout really is and how it differs from general burnout
The impact of executive dysfunction, sensory overload, and masking
The "gifted kid burnout" problem and how identity gets tangled in achievement
How urgency culture creates cycles of burnout and crash
Using the “circle of influence” vs. “circle of concern” to refocus energy
Shifting media consumption and moving from doomscrolling to hope scrolling
The importance of community care and authentic connection
Building a personalized self-regulation toolkit for long-term energy balance
Learning to ask for help and receive support without guilt
A reminder: burnout is not a personal failure—it’s a survival response
Burnout is an all-too-common challenge for neurodivergent people, and it often looks very different from what the general population might expect. For autistic people, ADHD burnout, and other forms of neurodivergent burnout, it’s not just about long hours or hard work—it’s about the constant effort of navigating a neurotypical world without adequate support. The neurodivergent mind processes sensory input, social interaction, and executive function tasks in different ways, often leading to sensory processing issues andemotional exhaustion. Many autistic adults and neurodivergent individuals experience a greater risk of burnout due to the compounding effects of chronic stress, loss of skills, and a deep lack of motivation when support systems are not in place.
While neurotypical people may recover from burnout with rest alone, a neurodivergent adult often needs more nuanced strategies to heal—ones that take into account their unique neurodivergent traits, sensory experiences, and cognitive abilities. Burnout can also exacerbate mood disorders like anxiety disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder. Unfortunately, many family members, employers, and even mental health professionals may overlook these common causes, failing to provide the school accommodations, social support, or safe place needed for recovery. Whether it’s through personal experience, insights from advocates or participation in online communities, it’s clear that understanding the term neurodivergent and how it manifests is crucial. Supporting autistic children, ADHD individuals, and all neurodivergent people in reaching their full potential means meeting human needs, addressing sensory processing issues, and creating an ideal world where burnout is not the norm—but a sign that something deeper must be healed.
If you’ve been feeling like you’re constantly pushing through exhaustion, struggling to find balance, or wondering why everything feels so hard—you are not alone. Neurodivergent burnout is real, and it’s not a reflection of your worth or capability. It’s a signal that your needs deserve more care, compassion, and community support.
Let this episode be a gentle reminder that your intensity is not too much, your rest is valid, and your healing matters. I’d love to hear from you—what topics would you like me to explore further on the podcast? And if you’re ready to start building your own toolkit for energy balance and self-regulation, check out the PowerZone Toolkit Challenge, now available anytime you need it.
🎧 Listen now and take your next step toward recovery and reclaiming your energy.
This episode of the Embracing Intensity podcast, features a detailed conversation with Heather Borman Morris about understanding narcissistic relationships and how they uniquely affect gifted and neurodivergent individuals. Heather, a clinical social worker, shares her personal experience with narcissistic abuse, providing insights on identifying covert narcissism versus mere intense interest, particularly in neurodivergent or twice-exceptional individuals. The discussion delves into strategies for recognizing and managing toxic relationships, differentiating between narcissism and authentic behaviors, and emphasizes the need for understanding personal boundaries and fostering healthy relationships post-abuse. The episode also introduces Heather's work, including her book 'A Thousand Paper Cuts' and the podcast 'Starting Stronger'.
About Heather:
Heather Boorman-Morris is a renowned therapist, speaker, and author dedicated to helping individuals heal and thrive after experiencing toxic relationships. With over two decades of experience in the field, Heather specializes in trauma recovery, relationship dynamics, and neurodivergent mental health. She is the founder of Starting Stronger and the author of the acclaimed book Thousand Paper Cuts: Finding Healing in the Aftermath of a Narcissist. Heather’s compassionate approach and deep understanding of complex emotional landscapes make her a sought-after expert in the journey towards healthy, fulfilling relationships.
In this episode:
Heather joins the podcast to discuss navigating healthy relationships, focusing on narcissistic abuse.
Heather shares her experience of being in an abusive relationship and later discovering covert narcissism.
Discussion on the targeting of neurodivergent individuals by narcissists, highlighting their traits like empathy and ambition.
Differences between overt and covert narcissists are outlined, including their stages of relationship: idealization, devaluation, and discard.
Strategies like mirroring used by manipulators in relationships are explained.
Emphasis on trusting one's body and intuition as indicators of being in a toxic relationship.
Conversation on distinguishing between love bombing and genuine neurodivergent intensity.
Importance of taking time to build relationships and recognizing genuine intentions.
Discussion about the impact of past trauma and hyper-vigilance when forming new relationships.
200: Leadership, Parenting, and Teaching with Mr. Chazz
00:53:54
Today’s guest made quite an impression on me when I found him on TikTok. His specialty is self-regulation, and he has found inspiring ways to teach his techniques to teachers and parents. Join us to learn more.
Chazz Lewis, aka “Mr. Chazz,” is a preschool teacher who currently focuses his talents on teaching teachers to teach. He’s a mentor and motivational speaker who also hosts the podcast, Mr. Chazz’s Leadership, Parenting, and Teaching.
Show Highlights:
Why Mr. Chazz is intensely passionate about becoming the best version of himself and helping others do the same
Why Mr. Chazz teaches self-regulation to parents and teachers
Why we need to be careful to not “crush” someone’s superpower
How Mr. Chazz’s personal brand of intensity means being in flow with his natural superpowers and giving and receiving energy from others
How Mr. Chazz struggled in school, was always trying to catch up, and took ADHD medications that made him feel constricted
The interpersonal battle over what people wanted for him vs. what he wanted as his own success
How cultural factors affected how Mr. Chazz expressed himself, especially within the framework of his private Catholic school with a very specific discipline and structure
The #1 lesson Mr. Chazz has learned: we need to adapt the way we teach to the way children learn instead of expecting them to adapt to the way we teach
How Mr. Chazz has to tone down his curiosity by decreasing the number of questions he asks
How Mr. Chazz has learned to know his likely triggers in certain situations so he can plan to pause and create a safe environment for his emotions
How Mr. Chazz harnesses the power of his intensity through journaling and goal setting
How Mr. Chazz helps others use their fire for good by helping them identify their fire
The importance of finding your WHY--no matter how the circumstances change
Final words from Mr. Chazz: “Spend a lot of time figuring out who you are and what lights you up.”
This got me thinking how I’ve observed as I’ve followed more neurodiverse folks on social media that people will often refer to their own giftedness in past tense and in quotes like “I was a ‘gifted’ kid,” as if giftedness was not something that still affected them now as an adult. I got to speak with Nadja Cereghetti, host of a new podcast for gifted adults called Unleash Monday, and we talked a lot about how a lot of gifted adults either don’t know they are gifted or no longer think they are.
In this episode:
We often confuse giftedness with achievement, or executive functioning skills.
Highly gifted folks don’t always fit the standard achievement picture because their thinking is outside the typical box.
Acknowledging our giftedness allows us to connect with our strengths and values to figure out what achievement really looks like for us.
Finding ways to support us in our executive functioning and self regulation skills can help us harness our energy in a positive direction.
I've been hearing a lot more comments lately along the lines of "I relate to your work, but I'm not really gifted." In this episode of Embracing Intensity, I discuss why gifted folks might not recognize their own gifts and some resources to explore if you suspect you might be gifted.
In this episode:
5 Reasons gifted folks might not think they are really gifted.
My own experience and why I actually believed it despite underachievement.
3 of my favorite books & resources to explore potential giftedness.
My guest today was diagnosed with ADHD and twice-exceptionality later in life. We have connected through TikTok and are learning a lot from each other. He demonstrates kind accountability in his TikTok posts and shows authenticity in his longer YouTube posts that I greatly appreciate. Join us to hear his unique perspective.
Sean Szolek-Van Valkenburgh grew up in Indiana surrounded by orchestral, classical, and contemporary music. His formal musical education began at age 7 when he started studying piano and performing in choral ensembles. As his musical education progressed, he noticed that he had the unusual gift of chromesthesia. Through TikTok, Sean avidly posts about being a professional musician and artist and connects with over 680,000 followers; he refers to them as “kings, queens, and monarchs.” He hopes to provide a safe, inclusive, and entertaining platform that prioritizes genuine content creation and critical thought.
Show Highlights:
What is chromesthesia? Multiple senses cross in the brain, making it possible to hear music and also see it in colors, textures, and patterns
How Sean uses TikTok to share music and chromesthesia
Why Sean is intensely passionate about educating and helping people see the world in different ways, especially the “lightbulb” moments of learning
How Sean’s personal brand of intensity cuts through to the truth and presents it to people, shining light on obscure areas in the legal system
As Sean grew up, he was very adamant about certain fixations, like dominoes and Jenga; his twice-exceptionality was masked by his ability to study and learn, but his ADHD was overlooked for a time
How his ADHD impacted the way he planned and self-regulated himself and caused imbalance in his mental health
How Sean was socially isolated with a few superficial friendships and focused on his hyperfixations
How Sean had to learn in college to apply himself to social constructs
The cultural factors that affected Sean as he and his sister were black twins adopted by white parents, and how this helped inform his cultural understanding
How Sean had to tone himself down as a counselor at a fine arts summer camp and learn how to expend his energy in appropriate ways
Why Sean depends on established routines and structures that work with his ADHD
How Sean has gotten out of control on social media in exposing the truth and presenting the facts, sometimes finding it difficult to strike a balance
How Sean uses his fire for good in helping people channel their fire into artistic expression in different ways
How Sean harnesses the power of his intensity through self-regulation and recognizing the power behind his personality and neurodivergence
How Sean recognized his twice-exceptionality
How Sean has learned to take time for himself and take mental inventory with introspection
Sean’s advice: “Be educated and aware when you speak about ADHD. Know your abilities and disabilities. It’s a long journey. Find your authentic self and work on defining yourself.”
212: Support for Highly Sensitive and Introverted Leaders with Leah Walsh
00:54:27
Today’s show focuses on support for highly sensitive and introverted leaders. Join us to learn more!
Leah Walsh is a speaker and life coach who is motivated by the desire to support conscious and creative people in uncovering their potential and bringing their light into the world. Leah sees every human as a beautiful and unique flower in life’s garden, but she knows that being your own flower can be hard work. It means cultivating a strong mind, deep roots, and a clear heart to allow your flower to grow, adapt, and bloom. Leah’s work as a life coach supports people in these ways. Her signature coaching programs support highly sensitive, neuro-divergent, and introverted leaders to ground their confidence, cultivate deep-rooted belonging, and awaken their unique impact.
Show Highlights:
Why Leah is intensely passionate about staying grounded, exploring belonging, and speaking truth with honesty and love
How Leah grew up in a very neurodivergent family where her parents were supportive of the differences in the way their kids were wired
How the culture of service in Leah’s family gave her a profound capacity to feel empathy for others and have a strong bond and connection to the land where she lives
How Leah feels and connects through relationships
How Leah had to tone herself down when she didn’t have the language to describe what she was going through
Why she found ways to give herself permission to be real and authentic
How journaling helps Leah identify what she is feeling
Why it’s important to tune into your body
How Leah uses her fire for good in her life coaching practice
Why self-compassion is essential in Leah’s practice as a life coach
How Leah works as a “shame extractor”
How Leah helps others use their own fire by using the acronym DOES
How COVID has cracked open new possibilities
How Leah resonates with neurodiversity and how we embrace our beauty and intensity
Visit Leah’s website for more information on her seasonal meetup, The Brave Intender Club.
13 May 2024
272. Creativity as Self Care w/ Sharon Burton
00:56:11
This week on Embracing Intensity, we share part of our call with Sharon J. Burton on "Creativity as Self-Care." Sharon delves into a chapter from her upcoming book "Creative Sparks" that explores how embracing creativity can be a powerful form of self-care. Through affirmations, inspiration, and practical tips, Sharon will guide attendees on how to use their creative talents to nurture their well-being, reduce stress, and cultivate a more mindful and fulfilling life. Join us for an enlightening discussion on the transformative power of creativity in self-care practices.
Join us for an engaging discussion with Sharon, a creativity coach, visual artist, teaching artist, yoga nidra guide, meditation guide, poet, and soon-to-be author. Sharon shares her journey back to art after pursuing a traditional career path and emphasizes the importance of creativity as self-care. The conversation covers themes such as the challenges and joys of embracing creativity at midlife, especially for those who may not have received encouragement earlier in life due to societal pressures towards more conventional careers. Sharon introduces her upcoming book, 'Creative Sparks: 21 Affirmations and Inspirations for Creativity at Midlife,' aimed at inspiring people to reconnect with their creativity. The discussion also explores the significance of creativity for personal growth, mental health, and cultural expression, particularly within the African American community. Additionally, it addresses overcoming common obstacles like the inner critic, imposter syndrome, and societal expectations, encouraging listeners to give themselves permission to explore their passions and creative impulses fully.
About Sharon
Sharon J. Burton is a visual artist, art curator, poet and certified creative coach and Founder of Spark Your Creative Coaching. Since 2016, she has focused on helping people in "creative recovery"... those looking to revive or jump start their creativity through group and individual coaching, workshops, her blog and as the host of Spark Your Creative Podcast which features artists and other creatives who are using their unique talents to create more mindful communities and a safer world.
Sharon is a certified creativity coach through the Creativity Coaching Association. She completed requirements for the professional certificate in Art Business from New York University and a certificate in Art History through the Smithsonian. a Bachelor of Science in Business Administration and a Master of Public Administration. Sharon is also a Level II, Reiki Certified practitioner and received her Breath Work + Meditation Teacher Certification. Sharon infuses her creativity coaching with wellness practices to help her clients break through the blocks that prevent them from fully engaging in their creative potential.
In this episode:
Aurora welcomes Sharon Burton to the "Embracing Intensity" podcast to discuss creativity as self-care.
Sharon reflects on reconnecting with Aurora after years and discusses the importance of creativity in her life and others'.
Aurora mentions the podcast's start in 2016, noting Sharon's early appearance in its second year.
Sharon introduces herself as a creativity coach, visual artist, yoga nidra and meditation guide, and soon-to-be author.
The discussion pivots to Sharon's upcoming book, "Creative Sparks: 21 Affirmations and Inspirations for Creativity at Midlife," focused on encouraging creativity in midlife individuals.
Sharon shares her journey from pursuing a practical business degree to rediscovering her artistic side, emphasizing the challenge and reward of returning to creativity.
A chapter from Sharon's book is shared, highlighting how creative practice can serve as a powerful form of self-care and aid in stress reduction, self-expression, self-discovery, boosting self-esteem, and promoting physical well-being.
Aurora and Sharon discuss the societal pressures that often discourage creative pursuits and share personal insights on recognizing and affirming one's creativity.
The conversation includes questions from the audience, exploring challenges faced by multi-talented individuals and ways to prioritize creativity amidst life's demands.
Discussion on where creativity comes from, suggesting it can originate both from within the mind and beyond the physical body.
The dialogue transitions to a discussion segment, where Sheldon joins to emphasize the unique experiences of creativity within the Black community and the impact of cultural and societal expectations.
Sharon responds by highlighting the evolving opportunities for creative expression enabled by technology and the importance of embracing creativity at any life stage.
Aurora wraps up by summarizing key takeaways: understanding one's creative "why," giving oneself permission to prioritize creativity, and inviting listeners to explore Sharon's upcoming book as a resource for inspiration and empowerment.
Sharon concludes with details about her book launch, her podcast, and how to connect with her online for more insights into fostering creativity.
Welcome to From Burnout to Brilliance, a talk that explores the best ways to manage work-related stress and overcome burnout. In this episode, we have the privilege of speaking with Dr. Zarya Rubin, a Harvard trained MD turned functional medicine health coach, who will be sharing her insights and expertise on this important topic. With the World Health Organization recognizing job burnout as a medical diagnosis, it's more important than ever to pay attention to the signs of burnout, particularly for those in stressful jobs such as health care workers and first responders. With long hours, heavy workloads, unreasonable time pressures, and a lack of self-care, it's not surprising that many people experience burnout. But it's not just work-related stress that can contribute to feelings of burnout. The household chores, long shifts, and a lack of much free time can also play a role.
How to Deal With Burnout
We will take a closer look at the effects of burnout, including physical symptoms, mental exhaustion, and emotional exhaustion. We will also discuss the early signs of burnout and what you can do if you feel like you're experiencing burnout. From the importance of self-care habits, such as a healthy diet, spending time with family members, and deep breathing, to seeking professional help, Dr. Rubin will provide guidance on how to address burnout and begin the recovery process.
So, if you're feeling overwhelmed by work stress, or if you're just curious about the topic, be sure to tune in. The good news is, it's never too late to take the first step towards improving your mental and emotional health. Whether you're dealing with burnout for the first time or have been struggling for a long time, this podcast will provide you with the tools and insights you need to feel better and regain your quality of life.
You can find the full discussion and video presentation in the Embracing Intensity Guest Call Library.
In this episode:
Dr. Zarya Rubin introduces herself as a physician, functional medicine coach, and speaker
Healing from burnout is crucial so people can share their gifts with the world
Dr. Zarya shares her personal experience with burnout and the symptoms she experienced, such as exhaustion, anxiety, panic attacks, and irritability
Burnout is more than just a stressful job, it can be caused by a lack of control and tasks that compete with one's sense of self, as well as issues with the company, goals, supervisors, or managers
Compassion fatigue and its relationship to burnout
The difference between stress and burnout
Burnout is a state of emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion brought on by prolonged or repeated stress and can lead to chronic health concerns
Personal factors, environmental factors, and work-related factors can all contribute to burnout
Neurodivergent burnout and the impact of masking and executive dysfunction
The prevalence of burnout during and after the pandemic
Burnout is not the fault of individuals and steps can be taken to prevent and manage it, such as improving sleep and food, avoiding going from one high stress job to another, setting boundaries, reaching out for help, building resilience, and seeking help from a qualified professional
Zarya discusses the reasons why people avoid seeking help and the high rate of physician and educator burnout
Final thoughts from Zarya, "(Life's) not a dress rehearsal, it's the real deal."
[Rerun] Using Your Intensity to Spread and Attract Love with Alexandra Loves
01:18:31
This is the final rerun episode for December before we launch into a new season of interviews, solo episodes and amazing guest speakers!
Love is the very fabric of the universe, and I get so excited when I see someone using their intensity to spread the love around. My guest this week is Alexandra Loves, and I actually approached a year ago to be on the show. I’m so glad we decided to wait until now, because my connection with Alexandra has grown and bloomed during that time, giving us plenty to talk about! Alexandra is a Love Attraction Coach, Intuitive Spiritual Guide, and Entrepreneur. She is on a mission to catalyze creative power, and use her intuitive spirituality to guide her clients into their best existence. In everything she does, Alexandra is all about harnessing the power of that abundant universal fabric from which everything is made, Love.
Today, Alexandra and I are talking about how intensity can be a force for good, for love, and for large-scale transformation. Because of her international upbringing, Alexandra feels comfortable talking to just about anyone. Added to that, she never felt the need for all the labels and stereotypes in the world today, yet the world seems inclined to want to place them on everyone. Rather than let that be the reason for toning herself down, Alexandra has fully embraced who she is and what she stands for. Now she is using her gifts to help people find love, find meaning, and find who they really are.
Alexandra is teaching us today how to use our intuition. Once we begin listening, nothing can hold us back, and we can only increase our impact on what is going on around us. Alexandra says it best, “We are changing the world right now.”
More in this episode:
Alexandra shares why she is so committed to understanding her gifts and using them for a higher purpose.
Alexandra is on a search of Absolute Truth, and she is OK with that definition evolving over time.
In love, Alexandra embraces the “Wise Beyond Her Years” label.
Much of Alexandra’s practice deals with reconciling gender expectations within men and women.
Alexandra is on a mission to help us understand the dangers instant gratification.
The cultural factors that have shaped Alexandra’s ability to embrace her intensity and her racial identity.
The segregation and racial terms that put shackles around Alexandra’s neck.
Alexandra toned herself down in terms of dating and intensity.
How Alexandra realized she couldn’t tone herself down anymore.
Everyone struggles under assumptions and stereotypes, and we need to be aware of that!
Alexandra was able to heal from a damaging relationship because of her incredible support system and her own intuition.
What habits Alexandra uses to fuel her fire.
Alexandra helps women do the hard work of diving deep within themselves.
If you or someone you love is a gifted person, you understand that it can complicate many situations in life. It’s wonderful to know that empathetic and supportive professionals are dedicating their lives to advocacy for these individuals. Join me to learn more about one such psychotherapist in today’s episode!
Gail Post is a clinical psychologist, parenting coach, workshop leader, and writer. In clinical practice for over 35 years, she provides psychotherapy in the Philadelphia area with a focus on the needs of the intellectually and musically gifted. Gail does consultations with educators and psychotherapists and parent coaching throughout the US and Canada. Dr. Post served as a co-chair of a gifted parents’ advocacy group when her children were in school, and she continues to advocate through workshops in schools and parenting groups. Her writing related to giftedness includes online articles, several books, chapters, plans for an upcoming book, and a long-standing blog, Gifted Challenges. Gail is just one of the popular gifted writers whose work is included in the book, Perspectives on Giftedness: Sound Advice from Parents and Professionals by GHF Press.
Show Highlights:
Why Gail is intensely passionate about working with gifted and twice-exceptional teens and adults, advocacy, parenting issues, nature, art, music, and trying to make a difference
How psychotherapists help clients with mirroring and attunement to create encouragement for the changes people need to make
Why it’s difficult to find psychotherapists who specialize in giftedness
Why Gail’s personal brand of intensity looks like overthinking and being passionate about her work and values
How Gail grew up feeling things intensely and feeling out of sync with others as she tried to fit in
How Gail was affected by white privilege and by other issues of the 70s like the Vietnam anti-war movement, women’s right, and civil rights
How Gail had to tone herself down as a shy child when she learned to hide her abilities and talents
Why Gail got out of control when she felt things and reacted strongly, especially in work settings
How Gail uses her fire for good in helping people, writing, and utilizing her strengths, and engaging with her interest in the human psyche and behavior
How Gail harnesses her power by knowing her strengths, pacing herself, and managing stress
How she helps others by encouraging them to feel safe and accept themselves with empowerment in challenging situations
Gail’s upcoming book, Perspectives in Giftedness, written with several other authors: her articles include “How to Explain Giftedness to Your Child,” one about what happens when kids know they are smart by society or school tells them they are not, and one about college planning to teach students and parents what they don’t know about the process
Why we shouldn’t tell kids their IQ number because it can harm them or hold them back
Final words from Gail: “I encourage everyone to work on self-acceptance with who you are because that’s the foundation for moving forward in life. It’s also important to accept your child’s imperfections and all of who they are.”
279: The Science of Writing to Heal w/ Nneka Denise
00:33:23
The Science of Writing to Heal with Nneka Denise
In this episode of Embracing Intensity, we’re excited to share the Q&A portion of our powerful conversation with Nneka Denise, founder of the Write to Heal Project. This discussion offers timely tools and insights as we reflect on letting go of the past year and preparing for a fresh, intentional start in the new year.
Nneka shares her transformative approach to healing through writing, addressing grief not only as it relates to loss but also to life transitions, personal growth, and emotional clarity. Whether you’re navigating stress, seeking emotional release, or exploring creative outlets, this episode provides practical strategies to help you move forward.
About Nneka Denise
Nneka Denise is the founder of the Write to Heal Project and a trained end-of-life and bereavement doula based in the Portland-Vancouver area. Through journaling, visualization, and somatic practices, Nneka helps individuals process grief, trauma, and life’s emotional challenges. She also runs the New Wellness Center in downtown Portland, a collective of holistic healing practitioners offering vibrational sound baths, Reiki, massage, and emotional wellness support.
In This Episode:
The Science of Writing to Heal – How writing can help process emotions, grief, and transitions in life.
Practical Writing Strategies – Tips for using gratitude journaling, brain dumps, and affirmations to create a daily healing practice.
Ceremonial Release – The power of burning or shredding written emotions as a symbolic act of letting go.
Affirmations for Healing – How to create affirmations that feel believable and achievable, guiding you toward positive change.
Navigating Writing Challenges – Nneka’s advice for those with ADHD, dyslexia, or writing apprehensions, including voice dictation and alternative methods.
Nneka’s work offers invaluable tools for self-reflection, healing, and emotional growth through the simple yet profound act of writing. Whether you’re a lifelong journaler or just beginning your healing journey, this episode is packed with actionable insights to help you process emotions and step into the new year with intention.
Listen now and take the first step toward embracing your own healing process! 🎧✨
26 Jan 2021
205: Twice Exceptionality - When Giftedness Meets ADHD
00:21:38
A couple of weeks ago I participated in an event called Camp ADHD, where folks around the world shared talks and discussion on topics related to ADHD. I spoke about twice-exceptionality, specifically as it relates to ADHD, and the topic seemed to resonate with a lot of folks, so I decided ot share it on the podcast as well!
In this episode:
Why the topic of twice exceptionality is important to me.
Why it’s important to talk about twice exceptionality.
Why it often goes overlooked.
How to recognize when you might be both gifted and ADHD.
Common themes from assessing 2E ADHD students.
Strategies that might help if you fit this profile.
265: Play as a Tool for Decolonizing Neurodivergence w/ Dr. Kimberly Douglass
00:35:51
In this age of rapid and overwhelming information, how does one choose what is important to learn? Opportunities to play are opportunities to learn. Play allows us to imagine ourselves in different realities, in different worlds where the rules are different, where we can be different. In these alternate worlds, we can demand more for ourselves. In these worlds, we can identify our needs and build rules and systems to meet our deepest needs. Just as someone imagined the world you see around you right now; the one in which neurodivergent needs go largely unmet - through play, we can imagine a world in which neurodivergent needs are met.
In this episode of the Embracing Intensity Podcast, host Aurora and Dr. Kimberly Douglas discuss the power of play in decolonizing neurodivergence. Dr. Douglas shares her insights on the relationship between play, imagination, and decolonization, and how they intersect in the context of gaming and world building.
They discuss the power of immersion, imagination, and safety in fostering a state of play, and how play can be a catalyst for expanding thinking and problem-solving. They explore the connection between play and power dynamics in society, particularly within the context of colonization. Dr. Douglas also shares her perspective on the need to decolonize neurodivergence and challenge oppressive systems that limit the expression of neurodivergent identities. The conversation concludes with a reflection on the possibilities and challenges of embracing play and creativity as tools for personal and societal transformation.
Stay tuned for this insightful conversation on play, decolonization, and embracing neurodivergent identities. Make sure to check out Dr. Kimberly Douglas' work and follow her on social media for more valuable insights.
About Kimberly:
Dr Kimberly Douglass is coach/consultant to Neurodivergent Adults.
Dr Douglass is currently constructing the first design studio of its kind, run by AuDHDers, for AuDHDers.
Dr Douglass became a full-time coach after working as staff, peer-reviewed researcher, faculty and administrator in higher education for over 17 years. She began the neurodivergence advocacy work over 13 years ago when she became the chief advocate for her Son who is neurodivergent. She has since gotten more in touch with her own neurodivergence. Dr Douglass is married to Dean Tate and lives in Tennessee.
In this episode:
Dr. Douglas shares her background and expertise in working with neurodivergent individuals.
The importance of safety and immersion in fostering a state of play.
Play encourages imagination, ideation, and thinking outside the box
The relationship between play and imagination, and the role of play in expanding thinking and problem-solving.
How neurodivergence challenges societal expectations and the worker role
The connection between play and power dynamics in society, and the need to decolonize neurodivergence.
Why decolonizing neurodivergence requires understanding larger systems of oppression
The possibilities and challenges of embracing play and creativity as tools for personal and societal transformation.
Permission to play and decolonize can bring up grief but also opens up possibilities
237: Passionate about Equality for Neurodiverse People
00:44:12
I’m excited to introduce you to today’s guest. She’s a highly esteemed expert in the area of neuroscience and twice-exceptionality. Join us to learn more!
Dr. Nicole Tetreault is a compassionate author, meditation teacher, and international speaker on neurodiversity, neurodevelopment, creativity, mental health, and wellness. Her book, Insight into a Bright Mind, explores groundbreaking research examining the experiences of unique, creative, and intense brains while advocating for new directions of human diversity and neurodiversity. Nicole is the founder of Awesome Neuroscience and translates the most promising neuroscience and positive psychology for people to live their best life. She is on the faculty at Bridges Graduate School of Cognitive Diversity and Education, and she leads a new generation of meditation practices by fusing novel discoveries in neuroscience with the ancient art of meditation. As the recipient of the Milton Career Exploration Prize from CalTech, she founded the novel nonprofit, Beyond the Cell, a transformative program to rehabilitate incarcerated women through guided meditation, neuroscience, literature, and expressive writing. Nicole believes we have the ability to wire our minds for positive plasticity through compassion and wisdom to live the life we dream.
Show Highlights:
Why Nicole is intensely passionate about neuroscience, positive psychology, and understanding diversity with compassion
How Nicole knew from a very young age that she was different than others and greatly affected by social injustices
How Nicole struggled when her intelligence didn’t match up for her in the classroom
How Nicole spent her adult years rewiring her brain with new patterns, thoughts, stories, and ideas
What Nicole would tell her former teachers about how they were “missing” each other
How Nicole experienced stereotyping and white privilege growing up as a blond Caucasian girl in a private school in a part of Los Angeles with a large Latino and Chinese population
How Nicole had to tone herself down in phases in her life, mostly by learning to hide in middle school and again in grad school
How Nicole’s intensity got out of control in grad school when she felt pressure and anxiety to be perfect
Nicole’s transformational meditation practice to regulate her intensity and emotional intelligence
The challenge in balancing a good mindfulness practice with what goes on in today’s world
Nicole’s take on spiritual bypassing and toxic positivity
How Nicole uses her fire for good in connecting and partnering with others who are passionate about equality for neurodiverse people
Nicole’s habits that help harness the power of her intensity: giving herself breaks for investigation, creativity, and curiosity; meditation; writing every day in a journal; and partnering with other creatives in the community
How Nicole helps others use their fire by helping students see their magic and helping other people see their individual gifts
How Nicole’s book: how it came about when she listened to her gut, how it inspires others, and how she wants to change the language about being twice-exceptional
In this highly engaging episode of the Embracing Intensity podcast, host Aurora Remember Holtzman dives deep into the world of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) with Bob Yamtich, a seasoned practitioner with over 20 years of experience. Bob shares how NVC has shaped his approach to relationships, parenting, and self-understanding, particularly as a neurodivergent individual. This conversation is packed with practical insights and tools for those seeking to enhance their self-connection and interpersonal communication.
About Bob Yamtich:
Bob Yamtich is a dedicated Nonviolent Communication trainer, therapist, and engineer. His journey into NVC began after his career as an environmental engineer, driven by his desire to contribute to societal change through better communication. Bob’s unique approach integrates empathy with analytical insights, honoring the importance of neurodivergence in his work and personal growth. He is a passionate advocate for using NVC as a bridge between self-awareness and impactful communication.
In This Episode:
Bob’s personal journey with Nonviolent Communication and how it helped him find balance as a bipolar individual.
The core principles of NVC: self-connection, empathy, and honesty.
How to distinguish between needs and strategies, and why it matters in communication.
The concept of holding multiple needs and strategies simultaneously for resilience and creativity.
Balancing analytical insights with empathy in understanding neurodivergence.
Practical exercises, including identifying three current needs and corresponding strategies.
How NVC fosters community, shared power, and collaborative problem-solving.
Bob’s experiences teaching NVC to diverse audiences, including children and incarcerated individuals.
The shift from “battle mode” to “build mode” in creating meaningful connections.
Links and Resources:
Learn more about Nonviolent Communication and its principles here.
Get 25% off Aurora's digital products and memberships with code BIRTHDAY24 (valid until Dec 2).
Whether you're new to Nonviolent Communication or a seasoned practitioner, this episode offers valuable insights and actionable strategies for enriching your connections with yourself and others. Tune in for a thought-provoking and uplifting discussion!
06 Oct 2020
193: Milestones
00:11:27
As I approach the 4th anniversary of the Embracing Intensity Podcast, I find myself and the podcast approaching a bunch of milestones in a short time! The biggest one being that I'm rapidly approaching the 100K download mark!
In this episode:
Help us reach 100K and enter to win an Embracing Intensity T-shirt!
Exciting milestones for the podcast.
Updates on the Embracing Intensity Community for this year and next!
Overview of my coaching and assessment process.
Other creative projects.
Stay tuned next week for a great interview!
Links:
Contact me to send a recording for our anniversary episode by answering "What does Embracing Intensity mean to me?"
The podcast is marking a huge milestone this week as we celebrate our 5th anniversary! In today’s show, we go outside the box as we discuss the importance of storytelling when it comes to giftedness, equity, identity, and inclusion. Join us to learn more!
Marc Smolowitz is a previous guest on the show, and I’m thrilled to have him back to talk about one of his projects, The G Word film. Marc is a multi-award-winning director, producer, and executive producer who has been involved in more than 50 independent films. His works have touched viewers on five continents and screened at the world’s top-tier film festivals. Marc is currently in post-production on The G Word, a feature-length documentary that aims to be the most comprehensive film ever made on the topics of gifted, talented, and neurodiverse education across the US. The film tells seven stories with different perspectives and asks the urgent equity question, “In the 21st century, who gets to be gifted in America, and why?” The film is poised to premiere in 2022.
Show Highlights:
How the pandemic has affected Marc’s work on The G Word and other projects
A broad overview of The G Word and the important stories highlighted by the film
How changemakers are working to make a difference in the gifted and talented community
How we can use our voices to be allies for the disenfranchised
How a zip code can be ultra-defining in the resources and opportunities available to people
How Marc is working to “take the temperature” of people around the country in assessing how giftedness has been affected by the pandemic
A look at the spirit of G/T/N Awareness Week (gifted, talented, neurodiverse), which is scheduled for October 25-29; this is a FREE five-day slate of virtual programming with a different focus each day. (See Resources to register.)
Why free and appropriate public education is a social contract--a promise made to all parents for their children
Why we as advocates and allies cannot quit fighting to make a better civil society for “more of us rather than less of us”
Why we need a much more communal and collective narrative around giftedness and neurodiversity in our country
Why The G Word is a mainstream educational film
Resources:
The G Word Film Find out more about the film, find resources, and sign up for G/T/N Awareness Week.
244: Giftedness, Twice-Exceptionality, Autism and ADD within the Overexcitability Framework
00:48:04
Today’s show looks at the differences and overlap of giftedness, twice-exceptionality, autism, and ADHD within the overexcitability framework. Join us to learn more!
Chris Wells is a writer, therapist, and researcher on all things Dabrowski. She has a nuanced take on the concept of overexcitability, a topic on which she has focused much time, energy, and study. Chris is our first three-time guest on the podcast, having appeared most recently to discuss positive disintegration. Let’s hear more from Chris!
In this episode:
How Chris came to overexcitability in 2014 on her quest to learn more about twice-exceptionality
How Chris was identified as gifted as a kid but felt more disabled and mentally ill
How Chris felt broken and emotionally intense by the time she was 40
How overexcitability turned around her perceptions of herself as problematic and defective
How Chris became hyperfocused on understanding overexcitability
How Chris found Dabrowski’s early work, which identified four types of overexcitability: psychomotor, imaginational, sensual, and emotional
How the gifted education world has finally accepted overexcitability as a characteristic of giftedness
Why overexcitability is an umbrella term that brings together all the elements of neurodivergence
Why Chris says autism and ADHD are “clearly neuro-cousins”
Why there are so many misunderstandings about overexcitability in gifted education
How overexcitability brings a whole different reality to those who have it
How Chris’s imagination would take her to another place and another reality when she was growing up–and overexcitability gave her the answers for it
The problem in learning to live with overexcitability
Why giftedness is a meaningful difference, even in adults
How we can best support those with overexcitability in light of the knowledge we now have and the labels we use
Why we struggle as a whole to figure out the right language to use
This week on Embracing Intensity, we share our talk with Dr. Matt Zakreski on self-advocacy skills. Self-advocacy is an important skill that can help you take charge of your own life and move toward greater freedom, fulfillment, and happiness. In this episode, we’ll explore the concept of self-advocacy and how it can help us feel more empowered in our own daily life.
The goal of self-advocacy is to actively advocate on your own behalf to get your needs met. To be a strong self-advocate, you have to have a clear understanding of your own needs. This is important because it will determine your goals and how you will achieve them. If you have a goal in mind, you need to have a plan to get there.
The first step to positive change is to know what you are good at and what you are not good at. Explore how you can use your strengths to your advantage, and use your weaknesses as opportunities for growth.
When you’re trying to make a change, bringing in allies is powerful because it can give you insight into the world that you don’t have. They can help you see things that you wouldn’t have thought about. Gifted and neurodivergent folks often feel like they have to go it alone in their adult life. Self advocates use their support system such as colleagues, service providers, family members, or peer support. They aren’t afraid to ask for help!
Setting the Stage!
It is very important to set the stage and prepare yourself for the conversation ahead of time so that you can be as successful as possible. The best way to do that is to set aside time to prepare and to have all of your notes and your ideas and your facts ready. This way you will be able to focus and be more effective during the conversation.
Also, consider doing it at a time and in a place where you can expect to have success. Set up a good place and time to talk about your needs, but give enough context of what you’d like to discuss so the other person doesn’t assume the worst.
Before we start with self-advocacy, we also need to consider the person we are advocating to and understand that their strengths and challenges might not be the same as ours. We need to be specific and tangible and help them take ownership and buy into the solution. By taking on a leadership role in the conversation we can help guide its direction.
In order to give yourself the best chance possible to succeed, you have to be prepared to be flexible and let go of rigid expectations. If you are getting resistance from your boss or others, it’s a good idea to ask yourself, what do I need to do to get to the thing I want? Let them play a meaningful role in shaping what you need to do next. What new things can you try to improve the lives of people you’re working with? What employment opportunities might forward your career?
Supporting Long Term Success
It is also helpful to consider the benefits to everyone and make it a win-win. Explore how you both get the most out of the situation, help build and strengthen relationships and improve the lives of others. Getting what you want in the moment may not pay off in the long run if it means burning a bridge. Communicating clearly and assertively can help get our own needs met without compromising the needs of others.
It’s important to be specific with your plan for following up or life might get in the way. Self-Advocacy is a lifelong process of constantly setting and re-setting boundaries. This process helps you to move forward in a positive way, towards being more successful as a self-advocate.
Join us to learn more about self-advocacy with Dr. Matt!
In this episode
Good self-advocates get super clear on what they need.
Tips for playing to your strengths, using your weaknesses as opportunities for growth, and taking steps to overcome them.
Exploring your resources, connecting with allies, and recognizing the kind of help that’s available.
The importance of timing and coming prepared to set yourself up for success.
Setting clear goals to improve our own lives and the lives of others.
Developing meta-communication and self-determination skills.
How flexibility can help us get what we need in the long run.
Meeting in the middle to set up a win-win solution.
Getting buy-in and setting everyone up for success.
Communicating assertively instead of passively or aggressively.
The importance of specific, tangible, and direct communication.
263: Navigating Intimacy and Neurodivergence: A Conversation with Catieosaurus
00:42:31
In this episode of the "Embracing Intensity" podcast, host Aurora brings on a special guest, Cate Osburn, better known on social media as Catieosaurus. As a certified sex educator with an emphasis on neurodivergency and intimacy, Cate sparks much-needed conversations, tackling topics others often shy away from. With her unique insights drawn from personal experiences and her role as a sex educator, she brings a nuanced understanding of how neurodivergency can interact with intimacy and sex.
Throughout the episode, Cate and Aurora, among other topics, delve into the intersection of neurodivergence and intimacy, discuss the impacts of societal norms on sex and relationships, and provide tangible strategies to navigate through intimacy issues. Cate advocates for self-advocacy, shedding light on the importance of open and honest communication within relationships.
In a world that rarely discusses the intersection of intimacy and neurodivergence, this conversation with Catieosaurus is a breath of fresh air providing valuable insights, strategies, and reassurance that you are not alone in your struggles. Catch up on this enlightening conversation today.
Use the link in the podcast description to join our Embracing Intensity community to access our courses and tools designed to help you use your own intensity without getting burned! Explore different podcast episodes, meet like-minded individuals, and enjoy self-paced learning to better understand and grow from your experiences.
In this episode:
The relationship and challenges between neurodivergence and intimacy.
Tips for navigating sensory issues during sexual activities, such as using tools like headphones.
An examination of problematic gender dynamics that can play out in intimate relationships.
Ways to manage relationship satisfaction amidst the challenges of neurodivergency.
How to distinguish between drama and passion in relationships.
The importance of self- advocacy, allowing for the fulfilling and authentic expression of our needs.
The concept of "Ask culture" versus "Guess culture" and the effects on relationships and intimacy.
I've observed a lot of themes around integration and disintegration recently so I thought it would be a good time to do a quick overview of Kazmier's Dabrowski's theory of Positive Disintegration.
You can find a more comprehensive overview on ep. 154: On Positive Disintegration with ChrisWells, and my Blog Post “Finding Treasure in Ruins.”
Dabrowski believes that intensity/excitability is a sign of high developmental potential, and neuroses, which we might call neurodiversity, anxiety, existential depression etc., can be positive if they move us towards our higher selves.
In this episode:
3 factors of positive development
Dynamisms are the inner and outer forces that drive our actions.
5 types of integration and disintegration
Resources on integration
5 Types of overexcitability
Thoughts on Integration
Over identification and/or rejection of certain parts of our identity
What is Dabrowski's Sweater?
Getting your conflicting parts to communicate with each other.
22 Mar 2021
213. Honoring Your Sensitivity with Leah Walsh
00:33:01
This week I get to share the talk from our March guest call is on Honoring Your Sensitivity with Leah Walsh. You can find the full discussion and video in the Embracing Intensity Community!
In Sanskrit there are 96 words for love. I seriously wish we had that many words in English for the word sensitivity! A word whose origins mean "capable of feeling and sensation," what does being sensitive mean in today's culture?
Join us for this creative exploration of sensitivity, how sensitivity is a shared trait across neurodivergent experiences, and how curiosity and community can help in honoring your own sensitivity.
Leah Walsh (she/her) is motivated by one desire: to support conscious and creative people to uncover their unique potential and bring that light into the world. Leah sees every human as a beautiful and unique flower in life’s garden, but being your own flower can be hard work! It means cultivating a strong mind, deep roots, and a clear heart to allow your flower to grow, adapt, & bloom. Leah’s work as a Life Coach supports people to do just this. Her signature coaching programs support highly sensitive, neurodivergent, and introverted leaders to ground their confidence, cultivate deep-rooted belonging and awaken their unique impact. To learn more about Leah’s work, visit leahkwalsh.com
A while back I had seen a lot of posts about the overlap and similarities between ADHD and Autism, and it got me thinking about some observations I’d made both personally and professionally testing neurodivergent kids over the years.
Curious with the#Autismvs.#ADHDdiscussions recently, if you have one or both, what do you relate to more:
Big Picture vs. Details
Order vs. Chaos
Think in Words vs. Pictures
Acquired Knowledge vs. Novel Problem Solving
Process Fast vs. Slow
Elaboration Welcome
More recently I posted the same questions with elaboration on TikTok and the responses were fascinating!
I think my biggest takeaway from hearing personal accounts from so many neurodivergent folks is that even when there’s a consistent pattern that is statistically more likely in a specific area of neurodivergence, they are not hard and fast rules.
16 Jan 2023
257: Gifted Kid Burnout w/ Catieosaurus
00:42:48
Exploring Gifted Kid Burnout
Gifted kid burnout affects many smart kids and former gifted students who were once in gifted programs. As young adults, they often share a common theme of feeling burnt out and struggling with unrealistic expectations. The pressure to always achieve gold star grades and be at the top of the class can be overwhelming.
Gifted programs, often found in grade schools and even at the national level, focus on high achievement and a fixed trait of being "gifted." But what happens when these young adults, who were once in gifted classes and AP classes, are faced with the reality of adult life and the expectations of society? They may struggle with a lack of motivation and a harmful perfectionism that can lead to chronic stress.
This phenomenon, known as "gifted kid burnout," was first identified by Professor Carol Dweck, author of "Mindsets," and has been studied by the National Association for Gifted Children. It is a result of the fixed trait mindset that is often placed on gifted children, believing that their intelligence and abilities are innate and cannot be improved upon. This belief leads to unrealistic expectations and a lack of emphasis on the development of a growth mindset and good study habits.
Manifestation of Gifted Kid Burnout
This burnout can manifest in a variety of ways, such as a lack of motivation, harmful perfectionism, and chronic stress. For twice exceptional adults, who also have a neurodivergent condition, the experience can be even more challenging as they may have unique sources of stress in their daily lives and emotional needs.
School systems and the current educational environment may contribute to this issue. Gifted education programs and advanced classes may not always take into account the social-emotional needs and unique sources of stress for these students. This can lead to lack of study habits and a type of mindset that is not sustainable in the long-term, resulting in burnout.
About Cate
Our guest today is Cate Osburn, also known as Catieosaurus on social media. She is an ADHD educator, a certified sex educator, and a disability advocate. Cate will share her personal experience with burnout as a twice exceptional adult and discuss her journey to finding balance and harmony in her passions and interests. Cate will also talk about how her experience in a gifted program, advanced classes, and the pressure to achieve good results in school led to unhealthy coping mechanisms and a lack of motivation in her daily life. We hope that her story will be a first step in understanding the experience of gifted kid burnout and the unique challenges faced by twice exceptional adults.
In this episode:
Cate Osborne, also known as Catieosaurus, is an ADHD educator and advocate, as well as a disability advocate who focuses on the connection between neurodiversity and sex and intimacy in relationships.
Cate splits her time evenly between her interests in ADHD and inclusivity in tabletop role-playing games like Dungeons and Dragons, making a career out of connecting seemingly unrelated things that overlap or are related.
Cate's personal brand of intensity results in burnout and struggles with balancing intensity of passion as a full-time content creator discussing serious topics like mental health, sex, and intimacy.
Cate's struggle with intensity is heightened as a neurodivergent person with ADHD and recently diagnosed with autism, and Difficulty in achieving balance is a myth, instead it's about finding harmony.
Cate's intensity in childhood was characterized by intense curiosity and ADHD contributed to an interest in trying new things and having different hobbies. Cate's hobbies can be valuable in learning and leading to change in one's life.
Cate started talking about the experience of being a gifted kid who is now burned out because of the pressure to always be the best.
Aurora and Cate discuss how giftedness is often associated with being successful, but it can also result in burnout.
Cate struggled with mixed messages about her self-worth and value as a gifted student growing up, and placed a lot of her self-worth in her academic success and being involved in activities and clubs.
Cate's tendencies switched over to unhealthy coping mechanisms like people pleasing and perfectionism once she left school and had to start "living a life."
In this enriching episode, Aurora hosts Marc, who shares his profound insights on neurodivergent leadership. Marc introduces himself by recounting his journey with ADHD, from his early school years to receiving his diagnosis at 16. This pivotal moment spurred him to embrace and understand his unique brain function, leading to his certification as an ADHD life coach. Marc speaks proudly of founding the Men's ADHD Support Group, a 501c3 nonprofit with over 17,000 members, aiming to empower men with ADHD. He emphasizes the importance of leveraging the inherent strengths of neurodivergent individuals rather than conforming to societal norms. Marc's empathetic and mentorship-driven leadership style, rooted in his personal experiences, serves as a testament to the potential and efficacy of neurodivergent leaders. He addresses challenges such as imposter syndrome, the importance of passion in leadership, and strategies for effective communication within his organization. The discussion also touches on the nuances of the ADHD label, stressing a balanced view that acknowledges both strengths and challenges.
About Marc:
Marc Almodovar Jr. is a neurodiversity advocate and the founder of the ADHD Men’s Support Group, a safe space where men with ADHD can connect with others who share common experiences and challenges. Marc’s personal experience with ADHD led him to feel isolated and misunderstood, and he recognized the need for a supportive community. He believes that by fostering a sense of belonging and acceptance within the group, men with ADHD can advocate for neurodiversity awareness and acceptance within society as a whole.
As a mental health advocate, Marc recognizes the stigma surrounding mental illness and strives to create a space where men with ADHD can feel safe and supported regardless of their unique ways of thinking and experiencing the world. He is passionate about raising awareness about neurodiversity and helping people understand the diverse ways in which people experience the world. With a balance of authenticity and positivity, Marc inspires others to embrace their unique strengths and connect with others within the neurodiverse community.
In this episode:
Marc discusses his experience with ADHD, including his diagnosis at 16 and its impact on his life.
He shares how understanding his brain led him to personal development and becoming an ADHD life coach.
Founding the Men's ADHD Support Group, a non-profit organization with over 17,000 members.
People with ADHD often have strong leadership qualities.
Leveraging strengths rather than conforming to societal norms.
The importance of mentorship and leading by example.
Personal and societal challenges neurodivergent leaders face, such as imposter syndrome and self-criticism.
The value of self-affirmations and support systems in overcoming these challenges.
Negative feedback and misconceptions about ADHD, especially related to gender.
The need for safe spaces for men with ADHD and dispelling myths around the condition.
Giving constructive feedback while staying authentic.
Using “kind candor” and focusing on team collaboration to improve feedback delivery.
Resources available for partners of men with ADHD, including support groups and public content.
The debate around viewing ADHD as a gift versus a disorder.
Recognizing both the strengths and challenges of ADHD without labeling it strictly as one or the other.
268: Embracing the Power of Emotional Intensity with Christine Fonseca
00:47:52
This week on Embracing Intensity, we share an enlightening conversation with award-winning author and licensed educational psychologist, Christine Fonseca. In this episode of our podcast, our host, Aurora, delves into an enriching conversation with Fonseca, exploring her insights on emotional intensity, mental health, giftedness, and our inherent human complexities.
Fonseca, a gifted adult herself, opens up about her experiences, passions, and various interests that set her apart. The discussion probes the depths of dealing with intense emotions, overcoming personal challenges, and handling burnout. The highlight of the conversation is Fonseca's perspective on the full spectrum of human emotions and the importance of dissecting, understanding, and accepting them as part of our unique individual journeys. She also talks about the necessity of open cross-disciplinary communication within the fields of mental health and related sciences to facilitate a more comprehensive understanding of the human condition.
Join us for these compelling insights and much more in our podcast of a treasured conversation with Christine Fonseca!
In this Episode:
Unpacking Christine Fonseca's journey from being an educational psychologist to an international speaker, author, and gifted adult
Discussion on the influence and inspiration behind the podcast
Unveiling Christine's multi-faceted interests including owning a lifestyle shop and being a fiber artist
Emphasizing the importance of not fitting in a box and cherishing one's unique identity
Navigating the nuances of social interactions and their impact on mental health
Exploring the connection between emotional intensity and the nervous system dysregulation
Introduction to the ROAR protocol, a technique to understand and mitigate anxiety
Christine's personal journey through overcoming burnout and the strategies she employed
Deep dive into the conversation of societal pressures, the pursuit of constant happiness and its paradoxical impact on mental health
The untapped power of holistic communication across different disciplinary silos in the healthcare and mental health sector
Embracing the beauty and complexity of being intensely human and the power of acceptance.
214: International ADHD Party on Twitter with Ross Watt
01:07:27
My guest today shares the keen awareness he’s developed of his ADHD diagnosis and how it impacts his life. Join us to hear the story of the good he’s doing in the world.
Ross Watt hosts the International ADHD Party on Twitter and is one of the ADHD-Hub co-creators. He’s working hard to make a difference for kids and adults with ADHD.
Show Highlights:
Why Ross is intensely passionate about ADHD, writing poems, and encouraging others
How Ross’ personal brand of intensity means being hyper-focused with a chip on his shoulder and always investigating things in deeper ways
How Ross grew up being strong-willed, determined (especially when told he couldn’t do something), opinionated, and argumentative
How Ross’ parents nicknamed him “Half-a-job,” which was a dig that led him to compare himself to others and find that he didn’t measure up
How Ross’ adolescent years were a big contradiction
How Ross has had to tone himself down and tune himself out when he knows he shouldn’t say something but feels like he will explode
How Ross has had to learn when to speak up and when to be quiet
How Ross’ intensity got out of control when he left his parents’ house at age 16, determined to prove everybody wrong
How Ross uses his fire for good, helping others with diplomacy and patience
How Ross helps others develop their ideas and disprove their opinions of themselves
How Ross formed the habit of not telling others what he will do--just in case he doesn’t follow through
Why Ross is very set in daily routines
How Ross helps others by being honest and giving them belief in themselves
How to figure out if you’re a “carrot” or “stick” person
269: Dismantling Patriarchy Through Play w/ Jeff Harry
00:34:27
In this thought-provoking podcast episode, Jeff and Aurora delve deep into the topic of dismantling patriarchy through play. They explore the impact of societal norms on individuals, the role of neurodivergence in challenging the status quo, and the importance of celebrating uniqueness. Through personal anecdotes and insightful discussions, they highlight the power of embracing one's intensity and fostering connections through play. Stay tuned to gain valuable insights on creating a more inclusive and empathetic world through intentional actions and meaningful engagement.
The podcast discussion delves into the intersection of play, patriarchy, neurodiversity, and societal norms. Jeff and Aurora explore the impact of patriarchy on both men and women, emphasizing the importance of men becoming allies to women and the need to challenge traditional gender roles. They highlight the power of play in fostering connection, breaking free from societal expectations, and celebrating neurodiversity. The conversation encourages embracing uniqueness, challenging the status quo, and fostering a sense of community and connection through play.
About Jeff
Jeff Harry, the founder of Rediscover Your Play, runs an organization dedicated to making work more enjoyable through play and positive psychology. With a strong belief that play can heal workplaces and communities, Jeff emphasizes the importance of embracing intensity and connecting with others authentically. He advocates for celebrating neurodivergence and challenging societal norms to create a more inclusive and empathetic world. Jeff's work focuses on dismantling patriarchy by encouraging allies to women and fostering deeper connections through play.
In this episode:
Jeff emphasizes the importance of play in healing workplaces and communities.
Play is discussed as a tool for challenging the status quo and encouraging connection.
Aurora and Jeff share stories about the power of play to bring people together.
Celebrating neurodivergency and uniqueness is highlighted as a way to dismantle patriarchy.
Remote companionship is discussed as both beneficial and limited in replacing in-person connections.
The impact of societal norms on neurodivergent individuals and the need for acceptance and celebration.
Historical examples like the 54th during the Civil War are used to showcase the ripple effects of small actions.
The concept of the "cathedral effect" is introduced, encouraging individuals to make a difference even if they may not see the immediate results.
The Embracing Intensity community is promoted as a supportive space for intense and gifted individuals to connect and grow.
The foundation of my work on my blog and podcast has been about intensity, and it's origins came from my work on excitability, also known as over excitability. Excitability is when you receive and respond the world more intensely than others.
In this episode:
Excitability as a sign of high developmental potential
280: Celebrating Neurodivergence and Authenticity with Sheldon Gay
01:02:15
In this episode of Embracing Intensity, I’m thrilled to welcome Sheldon Gay, host of the I Must Be Buggin’ podcast. Sheldon brings his insightful perspective on navigating life as a late-identified gifted and neurodivergent individual. His podcast and work are dedicated to amplifying underrepresented voices and empowering others to embrace their unique identities.
We explore the challenges and beauty of being true to oneself in a world that often misunderstands intensity, neurodivergence, and giftedness. Sheldon’s passion for self-discovery, emotional depth, and compassionate communication shines through in this powerful conversation.
About Sheldon:
Sheldon Gay is the host of the I Must Be Buggin’ podcast, where he delves into topics of identity, giftedness, and neurodivergence through the lens of being Black, underrepresented, and gifted. His mission is to create a space for self-awareness, acceptance, and growth, while helping others see and embrace their unique strengths.
Sheldon’s background as a late-identified gifted and neurodivergent individual has fueled his passion for helping others on their journey of self-discovery. He brings a thoughtful, empathetic approach to conversations on identity, culture, and the power of authenticity.
In This Episode:
Navigating Identity as a Late-Identified Neurodivergent Individual – Sheldon shares his journey of discovering his giftedness and neurodivergence later in life.
Ask vs. Guess Culture – A deep dive into communication styles, cultural nuances, and how self-awareness can help bridge differences.
The Power of Self-Discovery – Reflections on how shadow work and embracing authenticity can lead to freedom from shame and guilt.
Intensity and Emotional Depth – Exploring how Sheldon’s intellectual curiosity and emotional intensity shape his interactions and relationships.
Cultural Expectations and Exceptionalism – Discussing the pressures faced by marginalized communities and how giftedness intersects with cultural identity.
Truth with Compassion – The importance of sharing truth in ways that create connection and understanding rather than division.
Sheldon’s thoughtful reflections and passion for empowering others provide invaluable insights for anyone navigating their own journey of self-discovery and authenticity. Tune in for an engaging and inspiring conversation!
Listen now and share your thoughts with us! 🎧✨
10 Aug 2021
233. 2E Connection
00:20:47
I didn't promote last week's episode very much because I got super deep into the rabbit hole on a new project that really. Kind of pulls together a lot of the little projects that I've been doing in this past year.
It's called 2E Connection, and it's a directory for twice exceptional folks to share, explore and find support!
In this episode:
What inspired me to create 2E Connection
A sneak peak at some of the content so far
How you can support keeping this free site accessible AND sustainable
204: Building Platforms and Courses for Mission-Driven Women with Dusti Arab
00:26:44
My guest today is twice exceptional and was recently diagnosed with ADHD. She’s super vocal about many things, including social justice, dressing up as Elsa for storytime, and showcasing her great style. Fortunately for me, she lives in my area, so I hope to meet her in person very soon!
Dusti Arab is an entrepreneur and writer who leads the reinvention co., a boutique marketing agency specializing in building platforms and courses for mission-driven women. Dusti is currently writing a book, Braver Than Before: A Roadmap for Investigating Big Life Changes.
Show Highlights:
How Dusti is intensely passionate about--everything she believes in! She loves to make sure people have access to what they need, including music and art
Her personal brand of intensity includes being opinionated, drawing the right people closer, and setting boundaries
How Dusti’s late ADHD diagnosis and twice-exceptionality manifested themselves in her drive to be an overachiever
Why Dusti’s company is called the reinvention co.
How Dusti grew up in Oregon, in a very white, very backwoods family in which race issues weren’t acceptable to talk about
How Dusti loved to escape into another person through musical theater
How she looked for other role models other than her mother and even tried a conservative Baptist church that resulted in her atheistic views
How her intensity was out of control in her erratic job history and string of unfinished business projects
How she went through postpartum depression, which resulted in the most intensity in her life
How Dusti uses her fire for good in working with people and firms who help women and minorities get elected, along with bridging gaps caused by systematic injustice
How Dusti learned to manage herself through a productivity system
How Dusti is busy finishing the first draft of her book
Personal habits that help with her intensity are getting enough exercise and time-blocking
Regarding advice, Dusti admits that she was told a lot of things over the years that weren’t true--and she realizes it now
Books that were helpful for Dusti: The Awakening by Kate Chopin and Everything in its Place by Dan Charnas
How Dusti works as an amplifier and connector to build a platform to help women spread their big ideas
Taking a little pause to focus on moving & back end stuff.
09 May 2022
250: Passive Income and Side Hustles with Sadie Smiley
00:43:06
We all have our “beyond our wildest imagination” dreams that we never realistically hope to achieve. This is not true for today’s guest. She truly is living her dream in a place she never thought possible, and she’s teaching others to reach for the unimaginable also. Join us to learn more!
Sadie Smiley created Passive Income Pathways, where she gives expert advice about online businesses and how passive income can help achieve your wildest goals. She pushes people to learn how to make full-time money with part-time work, teaching them to “create, sell, kick ass, and repeat.”
Show Highlights:
Why Sadie is intensely passionate about helping people make money beyond their wildest dreams
The key to Sadie’s success: networking with others with different superpowers as a trade-off for the things she doesn’t love to do
How Sadie’s personal brand of intensity in being “too much” means that she submerges herself 100% into whatever she does
Why a time audit color code can be a game-changer for entrepreneurs
How to charge your “happy price” and feel good about it
How Sadie, with ADHD and autism, was a gifted student with good grades who had problems following rules
How Sadie helps clients make money, no matter what barriers they have
How Sadie learned where she was “masking” herself and learned to feel loved, cared for, and respected through the love of her husband
How Sadie’s intensity has felt out of control many times because of her neurodiversity and personality issues, but she has learned to “grow through” the intensity
How Sadie uses her fire for good in channeling her intensity into coaching and helping others
How Sadie feels safe in her life now and doesn’t worry about doing things wrong “according to the experts”
Why showing up consistently for her family, clients, and readers has helped Sadie manifest everything she has achieved
How to focus on something small that is within your control when you feel the “shame spiral”
Why Sadie loves helping others identify their passions and interests to give them what they need
Sadie’s parting advice: “Work hard on showing up authentically and with consistency. Do something every day to move your business forward, and success will be the only option. Picture your wildest, craziest dream–and then work backward from it to show up every day to make it happen.”
281: Reclaiming Your Worth & Collective Liberation with Caroline J. Sumlin
00:51:01
In this episode of Embracing Intensity, host Aurora Remember sits down with Caroline J. Sumlin, author of We’ll All Be Free: How a Culture of White Supremacy Devalues Us and How We Can Reclaim Our True Worth. Together, they explore the intersection of intensity, self-worth, and collective liberation.
Caroline shares her journey from feeling like she was “too much” to reclaiming her intensity as a gift. They dive into how societal systems—especially those rooted in white supremacy—fuel perfectionism, hustle culture, and the feeling of never being good enough. This conversation is both deeply personal and action-oriented, offering tools for doing the inner work to break free from these toxic systems and reclaim your inherent worth.
About Caroline J. Sumlin:
Caroline J. Sumlin is a writer, speaker, and educator whose work focuses on dismantling the toxic cultural messages rooted in white supremacy that tell us we are never enough. She empowers individuals—especially Black women and other marginalized communities—to reclaim their self-worth and reimagine a liberated, fulfilling life.
Her book, We’ll All Be Free, blends personal narrative, social commentary, and actionable guidance to help readers break free from perfectionism, self-doubt, and societal pressure.
In This Episode:
The Never-Enough Culture – How systems of white supremacy drive perfectionism and keep us striving to prove our worth.
Intensity as a Gift – Caroline’s journey from being labeled “intense” to recognizing her passion as a source of power.
Masking and Cultural Expectations – The pressure on Black women to tone down their true selves and “fit in.”
Self-Discovery as Liberation – Why examining how systems shape our beliefs is essential to personal and collective freedom.
Finding Outlets for Intensity – How Caroline channels her energy through writing, tennis, acting, and music.
The Power of Rest and Reclaiming Time – How rest can be a radical act of resistance in a culture that values productivity over well-being.
Navigating ADHD and Giftedness – Caroline’s exploration into her own possible neurodivergence and her daughter’s twice-exceptionality journey.
Ripple Effect Change – Why small, intentional actions can lead to lasting, collective transformation.
Key Takeaways:
Your worth is not tied to your productivity.
Systems of oppression benefit from keeping us feeling “not enough.”
Intensity is a strength when you learn to embrace and channel it.
Rest is a radical act of resistance against hustle culture.
Small, personal shifts can ripple outward to create collective change.
It’s always great to have a good friend visit with me on the show. Join me as I introduce you to my friend, Erika. She’s a ball of energy who focuses on positivity, generosity, and finding workable solutions to everyday problems. Join us!
Erika Laws is a recovering networker, positive thinker, and sales enthusiast. She loves people, self-development, and manifesting. Her goal is to be happy no matter what the circumstances and to put her own “oxygen mask” on before helping others. She has lots of life lived and lessons learned.
Show Highlights:
Why Erika is intensely passionate about helping people, sales, and her unique form of “matchmaking”
Why Erika is not too concerned about being diplomatic anymore, asking the tough questions, and being a “say it how I feel it” person
Why Erika is a positive manipulator to help people to become better
How Erika’s intensity kicked in when she became a single mom and had to channel her intensity toward getting things done and leading confidently
How cultural factors influenced Erika growing up because she lived in a world without much diversity but found herself drawn to African-American friends, which isolated her from others
How Erika’s acceptance of everyone helped her later in her sales career
How Erika had to suppress her gender and act “more male” by holding back her emotion to succeed in her career
How Erika’s intensity gets out of control often as she tries to underpromise and overdeliver to customers, which comes across as aggressive and hostile at times
How Erika will go above and beyond to make sure people are taken care of; she’s an observant, forward-thinking, and solutions-based listener
How emotional awareness helps Erika harness the power of her intensity
How Erika follows a process using the acronym SELL in every interaction: show up, engage, listen, and lead
The best advice Erika ever received came from Jack Canfield: “There are only two things you can change about a situation. Change how you feel about it or change the situation.”
How Erika helps others see that they are valued, leads by example, and loves connecting people as a matchmaker to help them
How Erika is committed to holding the line with her boundaries and how she expects to be treated
Parting words from Erika: “Intensity can be good, but your greatest strength can be your biggest weakness. You have to channel that intensity for good and know when to dial it back. Choose wisely about who you surround yourself with, and choose those who appreciate and don’t just tolerate.”
Resources:
Find Erika on Facebook: Erika Laws or Impactful Sales Solutions
If you’re in the Vancouver, WA, area, go see Erika at Mattress Firm on Mill Plain Boulevard!
01 Feb 2021
206: Helping Women to Claim their Seats at the Table with Brenda Bryan
00:36:05
I’m excited to share today’s show with you. My guest has an interesting perspective as an obviously gifted person who has dyslexia. Her experience is fascinating, but there is so much more to her story and work. Join us!
Brenda Bryan is a kickass inspirational speaker and The Diviner of Human Potential. As a transformational coach and Mastermind facilitator, she supports women to unmask and nurture their genius, empowering them to live in the strength of their passion. Teaching through the Raise Your Voice Speaker’s Club, one-on-one workshops, and stages around the country, Brenda demonstrates authentic, warm-hearted humor with a deep wealth of knowledge of the importance of communication in feminine power. Brenda began working in her passion of building community and supporting women in the early 70s. Graduating with a degree in communications, she became active in the women’s movement. Through her activism, she acquired lasting skills in group processing, facilitation, and leadership. She facilitates ritual and teaches sacred art through drum-making and other creative works. For the past 45 years, Brenda has continued to build her toolkit to support women’s empowerment. Most recently, she was inspired to be the founder and CEO of It Must Be Said Productions, which is a platform for stories that need telling, a venue for social change. She believes the weaving together of creativity, innovation, and invention invites future visioning.
Show Highlights:
Why Brenda is intensely passionate about feminism, helping women claim their place at the table, communication, ritual, and loving and nurturing ourselves
Why Brenda’s personal brand of intensity involves anger over injustices and inequalities in our social order and environment, along with radical self-care and a questioning of authority
Why Brenda wasn’t well-liked as she grew up because she would speak up and call people out
Her learning challenges included trouble with reading, spelling, and writing due to dyslexia and being told she wasn’t “smart enough”
How Brenda has seen positive outcomes from her journey with new possibilities as a creative thinking problem solver
How bigotry and prejudice against gay relationships set a tone for how and where she expressed herself
How Brenda had to reinvent how she shows up and expresses herself in a “conscious becoming”
How her intensity gets out of control when it’s heightened in relationships when boundaries are violated, but she has learned to manage and direct her passion and anger
How Brenda uses her fire to help other women who are looking to become more
How Brenda harnesses the power of her intensity with consistency of thought as she evolves as a human who adventures and takes risks in becoming
How the personal habits of meditation, drumming, ritual, and spending time in nature help Brenda
The best advice she ever received is two-part: “Stand up when you fall down,” and “There are no mistakes, only opportunities to learn.”
Books that have influenced Brenda: Learning to Heal Yourself by Louise Hay, The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, and Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill
How Brenda helps others by loving people where they are and helping them go where they want to go
Parting words from Brenda: “Embrace your intensity. There is an infinite purpose in who you are and what you bring to the table.”
Today’s conversation is with a creative who has overcome obstacles to find her place in the world where she isn’t afraid to be seen and heard. She helps others connect and engage, no matter how they have been “othered” by society, and she has learned how to effectively use her superpowers. Join us to learn more about making the world a brighter place for us all.
Jen Sujin Yoon is a creative consultant, storyteller, people-connector, and future-builder. We met on TikTok and immediately vibed with each other’s content. Jen is starting a new adventure as she launches The Dork Web Production Company. She lives in the Bushwick community of Brooklyn and loves this “cool hood” filled with passionate artists.
Show Highlights:
Why Jen is intensely passionate about connecting people and using The Dork Web as “a light corner of the web where people meet and are inspired to make the world a brighter place.”
How Jen’s personal brand of intensity involved her awareness of how “it all comes together” in her characteristics of being highly sensitive, neurodivergent, and 2E
How Jen’s intensity was always shut down as she grew up as a Korean-American having to live according to metrics and expectations; she turned to art, comics, fiction, and pop culture as forms of escapism
In Jen’s school experience, she was bookish and in the gifted program, but she never felt like she fit in or was good enough at school or at home
Why toning down and tuning out was just how Jen learned to live, and she’s only recently learned to own her space and put her voice and face out there to be heard and seen
How Jen learned to make herself small to try to fit in and be a people-pleaser--these were her survival skills
How Jen felt “othered” in many ways but wants people to feel like they belong
How Jen’s intensity becomes out of control in her moments of “Hulk-smash” crazy anger
How Jen compares her ADHD to superpowers that make her loud and proud
Why Jen views her past traumas as what has developed her into who she is today
Why Jen wants to normalize ALL emotions
How Jen uses her fire for good as she uses her interdisciplinary experience and embracing leadership to help promote others and their work that aligns with her values
How Jen harnesses the power of her intensity as she watches her younger sister (whom she mothered) grow up and have awareness of the world’s realities
Why Jen explains her childhood narcissistic trauma as “death by a thousand paper-cuts”
Jen’s advice: “Even if you're a problem-solver and leader, you still have to take care of yourself and not be a martyr. No one is coming to save you---you have to save yourself.”
Resources:
Find The Dork Web on TikTok, Twitter, and Instagram. Website coming soon at The Dork Web
15 Nov 2022
255: Tidying Up Your Brain, Marie Condo Style w/ Nadja Carghetti
00:44:52
As neurodivergent creatives, we often find ourselves overwhelmed with too much stuff both in our environment and in our minds. We may be overrun with office supplies, craft supplies, and/or miscellaneous things that support our hyperfixations or latest hyperfocus. The ADHD brain is especially prone to mental clutter, and when our environment is a mess it's even harder to quiet our thoughts. On our last guest call, Nadja Carghetti shared how you can use Marie Kondo's approach to tidy your brain!
Many people think you are either tidy or untidy, but the good news is that tidying is something you can learn! In Marie Kondo’s book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, she shares how we can systematically tidy our space by getting rid of things that don't spark joy. Marie Kondo’s method of tidying can be applied to your mind as well as your stuff and help prioritize the things we spend our mental energy on.
On this episode of Embracing Intensity, we share our talk with Nadja Carghetti, former tidying coach and host of the Unleash Monday Podcast, on Tidying Up Your Brain, Marie Kondo Style!
In this episode:
Why people’s homes reflect their life.
Nadja's experience of being a multipotentialite and interested in many things.
How growing up messy in her tidy parents’ house led her to believe you were either tidy or untidy.
It took a long time to realize that tidying was something you could learn.
The systematic decluttering process that can help you clear your space and mind.
How learning the KonMari tidying method led to diving deeper into what brought her joy!
Finding yourself through the process of tidying.
Why tidying is considered a festival rather than a party.
The 5 categories of things and the best order to sort them.
Sorting through information overload to find the important bits.
249: Outside-the-Box: Thinking About Time Management with Emily Roach-Griffin
01:01:09
Today’s episode is a recording from last fall about time management from a neurodivergent perspective. We are joined on the guest call by Emily Roach-Griffin, who is ADHD and gifted, and her insights resonate soundly with many of us. She is a business coach and speaker at BizBFF who loves helping business owners and those with an entrepreneurial spirit to build businesses and lives they love. Join us to hear Emily’s nuggets of wisdom about practical time management strategies!
Show Highlights:
Journaling prompts about what’s most difficult about time management
Why time management should be thought of as “task management”
Why we need to unravel and untether ourselves from much of our traditional thinking about productivity and self-worth
The importance of atoolbox of strategies, realizing that different tools may be effective on different days:
Tools to help with “time blindness” and time awareness, like a timer and to-do list
Tools to help with being on time, like an app
Tools to help with tasks, like breaking large tasks into “baby tasks”
Tools to help prioritize tasks, like containers
How Emily has “game-ified” her household tasks to change her perspective
Why time management is NOT about getting more done in less time
How to use a check-in system with your energy level to determine what is possible
Why avoiding certain tasks might be our attempts to conceal our pain
210: Unlocking the World of Twice-Exceptionality with Debbie Steinberg Kuntz
00:33:55
Today’s guest launched into the world of twice-exceptionality because of the unique strengths and challenges that came with parenting her two sons, now teenagers. Her work now meets the needs of kids like her sons, along with helping other parents and educators through her therapy practice, support groups, and parenting programs. Join us to learn more!
Debbie Steinberg Kuntz is the founder of the Bright & Quirky Summit, which features fantastic guest speakers and leading experts on “everything twice-exceptional” for parents and educators. Debbie is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in twice-exceptional (2E) kids and families. Her annual Bright & Quirky Child Online Summit attracts over 15,000 people from 95 countries, and the 2021 version is coming up in just a few days. It’s a free resource, and you can sign up now by using the link in our Resources section below.
Show Highlights:
Why Debbie is intensely passionate about unlocking the world of twice-exceptionality
Why Debbie’s relationship with intensity borders on workaholism and being “tenacious to the point of imbalance”
How intensity affected her family as she grew up, and why she readily recognizes the strengths and challenges of twice-exceptionality in parenting her two children
As a parent, Debbie looks for teachers who have raised boys before
How Debbie wants to empower parents in the way they view their child against our cookie-cutter educational system
How Debbie learned to embrace uniquely wired people as a Jew growing up in America
How parents can talk to their kids about being 2E
What Debbie has discovered about the line between asynchronous development and twice-exceptionality
Why Debbie is a huge fan of neuropsychological assessments
Her advice for parents about finding professional help
How Debbie harnesses the power of her intensity through the polyvagal theory and asks, “Why?” and “Why now?”
Debbie’s best advice about parenting comes from Kristin Neff, who says, “Talk to yourself like you would talk to a best friend.”
How Debbie helps others use their fire by teaching them to pursue the intersection of what they are good at and what they enjoy
The Bright & Quirky Summit 2021, coming in a few days; it features 29 experts tackling the timely theme of “Taming the Overwhelm”
264: Overcoming Perfectionism: Building Self-Compassion for Gifted and Neurodivergent Adults
00:31:35
Are you a gifted or neurodivergent perfectionist struggling to overcome the damaging effects of perfectionism?
In this episode of the Embracing Intensity podcast, host Aurora Remember Holtzman invites special guest Aileen Kelleher, a therapist and life coach, to delve into the topic of overcoming perfectionism. Together, they explore the intersection between perfectionism and giftedness and discuss the various ways in which perfectionism can impact our lives. From high expectations and low self-esteem to time limits and parental expectations, Aurora and Aileen shed light on the challenges faced by perfectionists and provide practical strategies for managing perfectionistic tendencies and fostering self-compassion.
Join the Embracing Intensity community at embracingintensity.com to dive deeper into understanding and overcoming your own perfectionism. Gain access to courses, tools, and support from like-minded individuals who appreciate and celebrate the power of high personal standards. You can also, explore the free self-regulation workbook for gifted and neurodivergent adults, titled "Harnessing the Power of Your Intensity," which offers a practical guide for overcoming perfectionism and embracing your unique abilities. Visit the show notes or embracingintensity.com for more information and resources.
In this episode:
- The definition and negative impact of perfectionism, including its association with depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. - Overlaps between perfectionism and giftedness, such as high expectations, sensitivity, and self-criticism. - The unhealthy coping mechanisms often employed by perfectionists, such as procrastination and avoidance. - Strategies for managing perfectionism, including incremental steps, setting realistic goals, and practicing self-compassion. - The importance of recognizing and embracing the messy nature of overcoming perfectionism and learning new skills. - The role of self-compassion and cultivating present-moment awareness in overcoming perfectionism and achieving high performance. - The damaging effects of perfectionism on daily life, relationships, and emotional well-being. - Practical tips for parents and educators to support gifted children and help them navigate the pressures of perfectionism. - The unique challenges faced by neurodivergent individuals in managing perfectionistic behaviors and finding balance in their lives.
By addressing the problem of perfectionism and providing practical strategies for overcoming it, this episode offers valuable insights and guidance for high achievers, gifted individuals, and neurodivergent adults who struggle with the damaging effects of perfectionism in their own lives. Tune in to gain a deeper understanding of perfectionism and learn how to cultivate self-compassion and embrace your unique abilities.
230: Twice-Exceptional Speech Therapist and the Autistic Community
00:42:02
I’m excited to introduce you to a speech therapist whose work is informed by the autistic community and her personal experience in identifying as twice-exceptional. Her heart and passion are to help give a voice to those who can’t speak for themselves. Join us!
Mara McLoughlin has over ten years of professional experience working with autistic and other neurodivergent people and their families. She has been a student and teacher of yoga and mindfulness for over 25 years, knowing that building these skills can help build a better world. She is a certified provider of the PEERS program that exists for the educational and enrichment of relational skills. With both her bachelor’s and master's degrees in Communication Science and Disorders, she knows that communication is fun, difficult, and the key to life. To learn and gain confidence in the initial steps of founding friendships and self-regulation skills can help improve the lives of everyone.
Show Highlights:
Why Mara is intensely passionate about yoga and working with autistic people and their families
How Mara’s intensity looks like a strong sense of fairness and fiercely advocating for those who can’t speak for themselves, especially those with autism or aphasia due to stroke
Growing up, Mara was a precocious speaker who struggled in school and was a determined but difficult child
How the masking component has affected Mara in “code-switching” according to different situations
The misconception about autism and the children who aren’t identified by their response to social cues
The relationship between non-binary gender identification and autism
How cultural factors affected Mara as she grew up in white, conservative, suburban Chicago as she didn’t follow the “rulebook” or the status quo
Why she was unsuccessful in toning herself down or tuning herself out because she couldn’t conform to others’ expectations
How Mara moved to the West Coast and found where she fits in and feels at home
How a stroke affected her partner at age 43 and brought out Mara’s advocacy skills
How Mara uses her fire for good by being a fierce advocate for people who have different brains, helping to build capacity in environments for different learners
How Mara harnesses the power of her intensity through breathing, yoga and movement, meditation, mindfulness, and gratitude
How Mara helps others use their fire through the PEERS program with social and emotional development in making and keeping friends and solving conflict
Mara’s business, IRL Social skills, which is a collective of speech-language pathologists and occupational therapists who help families of autistic teens and adults
Find IRL Social Skills on Facebook and Mara McLoughlin on Twitter and @pawsomesocialskills on Instagram.
There are lots of upcoming great events happening in the EI Community. Check us out at Embracing Intensity
16 Aug 2021
234: Craving the Yum After Chemotherapy
00:30:39
Today’s guest is truly a multipotentialite with interests spanning gender nonconformity, psychology, healthy eating, photography, and the creative arts. He has discovered ways to embrace his creativity and merge his talents to offer meaningful help to others in their struggles. Join us to learn more!
Greg Halpen is a food blogger and food photographer who created the food blog, Craving the Yum: Eating After Chemo. Chemotherapy can do a number on our palates, leaving our taste buds desensitized and frustrated about what to eat that actually tastes good. Greg gives chemotherapy patients the steps and practical tools to reimagine meals without compromising the YUM factor. Through his food blog, he shares the secrets to preparing meals that are simple, healthy, and extra.
Show Highlights:
Why Greg is intensely passionate about helping people navigate the frustrating and difficult waters of figuring out what to eat during and after chemo
How Greg’s personal brand of intensity covers multiple areas of creativity: music, theater, food blogging, and photography
How Greg’s childhood trauma spurred him into creative outlets as coping mechanisms
The difficulty for Greg in not having a support system to help him grow as a creative person
What Greg wishes he knew back then: “There are people in the world who WILL see you and get you.”
The cultural factors that affected Greg as a gay young man with confusing feelings that couldn’t be expressed and realized
How digging deep into learning about homophobia and hetero-normative thinking helped Greg cope
How Greg has had to purposely shrink himself down to be smaller because of his insecurity as a person
How men are affected by sexuality and gender issues very differently than women
Why Greg has felt out of control when he couldn’t harness his creativity amidst the chaos of life
How Greg uses his fire for good in being of service to others and helping people
How he learned the important lesson that he isn’t at the center of everything
How therapy, cooking, and helping others with food relationships have helped Greg harness his intensity
How Greg helps others use their fire by helping them to make small changes and understand “diet culture confusion”
Up next for Greg: writing a book (the free mini-version is available on his website now!)
Visit our new platform with resources and events for the 2E community
09 Jun 2023
261: ADHD Productivity w/ Arianna Bradford
01:00:57
This week, we talk with Arianna Bradford, an ADHD productivity coach, about the best ways for adults with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder to boost productivity in their daily lives. We cover a range of topics, from common symptoms of ADHD and organizational strategies to productivity hacks and the Pomodoro technique. Arianna shares her expertise on how to set specific goals and prioritize tasks, as well as how to use the right tools and resources to get the most out of your work mode.
We also discuss the importance of taking breaks and transitioning between tasks, as well as how to manage ADHD symptoms in the workplace or in your personal life. Whether you're a project manager, creative professional, or simply looking to be more productive, this episode has something for everyone. So grab a cup of coffee, find a quiet spot, and join us as we explore the world of ADHD productivity with Arianna Bradford.
In this episode
Arianna Bradford, an ADHD productivity coach, shares her tips for building productivity processes that work for neurodivergent brains.
Productivity for people with ADHD is not an arbitrary number or percentage, and should be set by the individual in regards to upcoming external deadlines.
Keeping all tasks and deadlines in one central place is important for feeling in control, and regularly reevaluating task priorities is crucial.
The ICNU method (Interest, Challenge, Novelty, Urgency) can help hack an ADHD brain and increase productivity, as can adding challenge and urgency, trying new approaches, and allowing for downtime.
Mind shifts and meditation can reduce stress and increase mindfulness, while tracking patterns and cycles can help with planning and prioritizing tasks.
Redefining productivity as satisfaction, not perfection, and taking breaks for self-care are essential for preventing burnout.
Favorite productivity tools include Amazing Marvin, Motion, The Bright App, Tusk, ClickUp, Headspace, and simplemind pro.
Using white, brown, or pink noise, binaural beats, and low-fi beats can help with focus, and starting new routines gradually can avoid overwhelming the brain.
Multitasking can be beneficial for ADHD brains, and it's important to remember that worth is not determined by external measures of productivity or success.
Understanding monthly and yearly cycles, as well as circadian rhythms, can aid in productivity and introspection.
Building your skills
Organizational skills, goal setting, and breaking tasks into smaller chunks of time can also be helpful.
It's important to prioritize mental health and self-care in both personal and professional lives.
There is no one "best way" to be productive, and different options may work for different tasks or individuals.
ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder, and those with ADHD may experience executive dysfunction and shorter attention spans.
Pomodoro cycles, mind maps, and analog clocks can aid in productivity, and to-do list apps and project managers can help keep track of tasks.
The ADHD community and employee resource groups can provide support and resources for productivity and navigating the work environment.
Taking short breaks and allowing for transition time can also improve productivity and reduce anxiety.
Mental health professionals, family members, and team members can also be valuable resources in building productive habits.
Social media and mobile devices can be both helpful and distracting, and it's important to set boundaries and prioritize privacy.
TikTok users and creative people may have an uncanny ability to focus on certain tasks, but may struggle with others.
The most important tasks should be at the top of your to-do list, and it's okay to leave some tasks for the next time or for the last minute.
Hard work and effort are important, but so is recognizing and accepting limitations.
In this engaging conversation, Aurora sits down with the multi-talented Princess Fortier, a beacon of inspiration in the journey of embracing one’s intensity. Princess shares her remarkable story, from neuroscientist to singer and model, highlighting how music became her tool for healing and transforming her life. Together, they delve into the themes of harnessing personal intensity, pursuing passions beyond conventional boundaries, and the power of gratitude journaling. Princess's insight provides a riveting exploration of living life unbounded and the beauty of connecting deeply with one's passions. Join us as we uncover the synergy between harmony and intensity, and discover how embracing your full self can lead to a fulfilling and impactful life.
Discover how Princess overcame intense migraines through her passion for singing, marking a pivotal shift in her life that not only cured her physically but also steered her towards a fulfilling career in music. Throughout the episode, Princess shares her multifaceted experiences, from her challenges with perfectionism and navigating cultural expressions to engaging deeply with neurodiversity and entrepreneurship. Aurora and Princess delve into the significance of embracing one's intensity, using personal fire for positive impact, and the liberation found in gratitude and self-expression. This episode is a testament to the strength found in vulnerability, the beauty of pursuing one's passions, and the value of community support. Tune in to be inspired, find connection, and discover how to channel your own intensity into a force for good.
This episode not only celebrates Princess's remarkable contributions to the field of music and arts but also sheds light on how embracing one's intensity can lead to groundbreaking discoveries and personal healing. Listen in as Princess shares her thoughts on perseverance, the significance of music in her life, her battle against perfectionism, and her spirited advocacy for journaling and gratitude as tools for navigating life's challenges.
In this episode
Princess is an inspiring figure who transitioned from a neuroscientist to a singer/model and has been featured in shows like Abbott Elementary and All American.
Princess shares her unique story of how singing cured her chronic migraines, leading her to pursue a full-time music career.
The power of journaling, especially gratitude journaling, as a tool for self-reflection and goal setting.
Princess discusses the challenges and benefits of embracing one's intensity, including her resistance to being limited by societal expectations and finding freedom in diversity.
The dialogue touches on topics like neurodivergence, perfectionism, the importance of setting boundaries, and the impact of cultural and familial pressures.
Aurora and Princess share experiences of dealing with rejection sensitivity and the internal struggle of wanting to be liked and approved.
They explore the concept of using one's 'fire' for good, including sharing knowledge, setting examples for others, and creating transformative art.
Princess discusses how engaging in multiple passions, such as music and entrepreneurship, has allowed her to express her intensity in various domains.
Aurora emphasizes the importance of self-care and taking breaks to prevent burnout, acknowledging her own past of working on urgency.
The conversation also covers strategies for harnessing one's intensity and sensitivity, with Princess highlighting the power of gratitude practices.
Princess encourages the audience to let go of perfectionism and embrace their passions.
Both speakers reflect on personal growth, the importance of authentic self-expression, and supporting others in their journey to embrace their intensity.
Princess shares ways to connect with her and learn more about her journey and work, including her website and upcoming appearances.
253: Decolonizing Neurodivergence w/ Dr. Kimberly Douglass
01:05:40
I am so thrilled to get to share Dr. Kimberly Douglass’ talk on Decolonizing Neurodivergence!
From Violence to Love
Do you ever wonder why we get into loops on social media platforms when we talk about neurodivergence? We have convinced ourselves this conversation is just about validating each other and understanding the traits of various conditions. The very definition of what it means to be neurodivergent is rooted in colonialist thinking and behavior. It’s clear to me: we don’t want to talk about the hard changes we have to make to ourselves, to our self-image; the hard changes we should demand from our society.
We keep the conversation at the level of defining a problem; defining ourselves as the problem. We are willing to be the problem as long as we don’t have to challenge ourselves, other people, our families, our employers, our communities, our worlds.
You are not a problem!!! Write this down: YOU ARE THE WAY!!!
But, you know we talk about neurodivergence in ways that allow the powerful to hold on to their power. We are more comfortable with this than risking being disliked, having things taken from us or feeling powerful inside our own skin. Even the word power makes us uncomfortable. These are the ways we have been taught. This is colonization.Regardless of what you have been taught, YOU are the way to transformation for yourself and for others. With guidance on how to think about neurodivergence, we can help see yourself just as you are!
YOU are the way to this new understanding…. for yourself, for your team, for your community.
Dr Kimberly Douglass is the full-time owner of Kimberly Douglass, PhD, LLC. Dr Douglass and her team are designing a world in which neurodivergent people feel they belong. The team fuses disability advocacy with design thinking. Douglass’ team designs digital and paper content, such as courses, ebooks, journals, workbooks and the Neurodivergently Thinking cards. Also, the team offers premium 1 to 1 coaching services. Dr Douglass’ signature product is her Decolonizing Neurodivergence course.
Dr Douglass and her team design tools that validate the neurodivergent experience.
The team’s content and services challenge everyday processes that marginalize and shame neurodivergent people. Dr Douglass became a full-time business owner after working as staff, peer-reviewed researcher, faculty and administrator in higher education for over 17 years. She began the advocacy work over 12 years ago, when she became the chief advocate for her Son who is neurodivergent. She has since gotten more in touch with her own neurodivergence. Dr Douglass is married to Dean Tate and lives in Tennessee. Douglasskimberlylynn@gmail.com
In this episode, Kimberly Shares:
Her thoughts on growing up neurodivergent and breaking from the system.
Moving from seeking validation to examining systems.
Some common threads of neurodivergence.
How we are living in a culture of consumption.
Why no one wins under the current capitalist paradigm.
Creating an agenda to make change.
Why neurodivergence often comes with trauma.
Examining how do we know what we think we know?
The focus on compliance in our schools.
Why we accept less, and deserve ease & flow.
What neurodivergence Brings to the table.
Supporting each other & building relationships.
Examining our own systems we live in.
Moving away from defensiveness & denial to make positive change.
Welcome to 2022! In today’s solo episode, I’m reviewing some of our most downloaded episodes from 2021 and sharing our upcoming guest speaker series and topics already scheduled for this year. It’s going to be a great year, so come along for the ride with me!
Show Highlights:
The countdown of our top ten most downloaded episodes from 2021:
#10: Ep. 231 Intuitive Flow with Kari Betton Our July Guest Call was on Intuitive Flow and Creativity. Kari is a coach and mentor for highly sensitive and twice-exceptional people, and she has a passion for helping them find their innate sense of intuitive flow.
#9: Ep. 239 Perspectives in Giftedness with Gail Post Being gifted can complicate many situations in life. It is wonderful to know that empathetic and supportive professionals are dedicating their lives to advocacy for these individuals. Learn more with psychotherapist Gail Post.
#8: Ep. 229 Thinking Patterns I have seen a lot of posts about the overlap and similarities between ADHD and Autism, and it got me thinking about some observations I’d made both personally and professionally testing neurodivergent kids over the years. I also asked for feedback from neurodivergent people on social media about the patterns they related to most.
#7: Ep. 235 Playing with Your Inner Critic with Jeff Harry This show allows you to listen to our recent group call with Jeff Harry of Rediscover Your Play. Jeff provides tips, insights, and interactive exercises to learn more about “Playing With Your Inner Critic.” Find the full discussion in the Embracing Intensity Community.
#6: Ep. 202 Chipping Away at Societal Conditioning with Julia R. Wild This show focuses on highly sensitive people. My guest loves helping HSPs uncover the layers of conditioning put on them by society and bloom in their uniqueness. Julia R. Wild is a bestselling author, spiritual teacher, and trauma educator with a Master’s degree in psychology. She is also a writing, creativity, and life coach.
#5: Ep. 207 “But I’m Not Really THAT Smart” I’ve heard a lot more comments lately along the lines of, “I relate to your work, but I’m not really gifted.” In this episode, I discuss why gifted folks might not recognize their own gifts, along with some resources to explore if you suspect that you might be gifted.
#4: Ep. 236 Gifted and 2E Assessment This solo episode is about a topic that I’ve thought about for a long time, so I’m happy to bring it to you. We will discuss getting an assessment as a gifted or twice-exceptional adult, so I hope you find my thoughts and tips helpful.
#3: Ep. 208 Coaching and Mentoring Neurodivergent Adults with Dr. Kimberly Douglass I found this guest in the most unusual place: TikTok! I first noticed her work with gifted and twice-exceptional people, and I knew I had to have her on the show. Dr. Kimberly Douglass is president and CEO of Remote Learning Solutions.
#2: Ep. 226 Asynchronous Development in Gifted Adults with Tiff Choumm Our June Guest Call was on Asynchronous Development in Gifted Adults. Asynchronous development is a hallmark of the gifted experience, when we may have developed far ahead of our peers in some areas and have fallen behind in others. This can continue into adulthood, especially for those who are also twice-exceptional, and it can impact many aspects of our life experiences. Find the full discussion in the Embracing Intensity Community.
#1: Ep. 205 Twice Exceptionality–When Giftedness Meets ADHD Last year, I participated in an event called Camp ADHD, where folks around the world shared talks and discussion on topics related to ADHD. I spoke about twice-exceptionality, specifically as it relates to ADHD, and the topic seemed to resonate with many, so I decided to share my talk on twice-exceptionality on the podcast as well.
I’m super excited to announce our 2022 guest speakers and general topics! (Specific details are subject to change.) You can find the schedule listed in the events calendar on the Embracing Intensity Community, and it will soon be on the 2E Connection and Embracing Intensity website calendars!
January 22–Leela Sinha, from Ep. 7: The Intersection of Queerness and Neurodivergence
February 19–Alexandra Loves, from Ep. 67: Passion vs. Drama
March 19–Boontarika Sripom, from Ep. 177: Play
April 16–Cosette “CoCo” Leary, from Ep. 181: Building Confidence and Resilience
May 21–Aileen Kelleher, from Ep. 241: Perfectionism
June 18–Mara McLoughlin, from Ep. 230: Neurodivergent Social Connection
August 20–Dr. Kimberly Douglass, from Ep. 208: Navigating Systems as a Neurodivergent
September 17–Dr. Matt Zakreski, from Ep. 240: Self-Advocacy
October 15–Nadja Careghetti, from Ep. 198: Tidying Up Your Brain (Marie Kondo-Style)
222: TV Writing, Art, Comics and More with Shadi Petosky
00:52:38
Today’s show is with yet another intriguing person I met on TikTok. I’m especially interested in her experience with twice-exceptionality and the work she’s doing in TV.
Shadi Petosky is an Emmy winner and Wendy’s Employee of the Month-winning TV showrunner. She co-created and showran the Emmy-winning Danger and Eggs for Amazon Prime Video, which was also a Critics Choice and GLAAD nomination. She executive produced Twelve Forever for Netflix and the upcoming live- action, gender-bending sci-fi series Forever Alone with Adaptive Studios. She most recently directed the live-action comedy pilot, Let’s Go Atsuko for Quibi, and her show, Pretty Cursed, is in development at Circle of Confusion TV. She was the animation supervisor for all 72 episodes of the hit show Yo Gabba Gabba.
Show Highlights:
Why Shadi is intensely passionate about making stuff like comics, art, games, designs, visual effects, and TV writing
Why Shadi’s personal brand of intensity is “clownish with a Willy Wonka vibe”
How Shadi grew up living a series of ADHD cliches, being a daydreamer and a nerd later in high school who loved theater and clubs
In school, Shadi was bullied a lot and involved in many fights; she stayed in trouble, was an extrovert, and says she was never anyone’s favorite person
Cultural factors that affected Shadi include growing up in rural Montana and then a military kid who lived an isolated and classless existence in remote areas
Why Shadi’s childhood affected what she thought was possible in pursuing dreams
How Shadi didn’t have to tone down or tune herself out as a kid, but has had to learn as an adult to handle conflict, deal with people, and tackle her intense irritability
How Shadi has handled her executive functioning issues in managing other people
How Shadi uses her fire for good in making TV shows with queer kids and doing fulfilling work that matters, especially when it comes to justice sensitivity
What Shadi has noticed about the evolution of TV shows in the representation of trans folks and other marginalized groups
How Shadi’s creativity was affected by the pandemic and quarantine
How Shadi harnesses the power of her intensity by making lists, going to therapy, DBT, and new medications; she has also tried to cut down on stressful jobs and prioritize leisure time
How Shadi helps others use their fire by helping young writers, teaching, and working with kids
Why it’s tough to be vulnerable online
10 Jan 2022
241: Making Room for the Voices of Others with Aileen Kelleher
00:39:01
Today’s guest has wonderful Instagram posts, many of them covering her work with twice-exceptional adults. I’m a fan of hers, and she’s a fan of the podcast, so it’s exciting to introduce her to the Embracing Intensity audience!
Aileen Kelleher is a licensed clinical social worker, therapist, and coach. Her therapy practice in Chicago specializes in helping gifted and twice-exceptional children build social-emotional skills, self-compassion, and confidence to recover from anxiety, depression, and other mental health difficulties. Her international coaching practice focuses on helping gifted and 2E women harness their talents to help them find fulfillment and fun in their personal, professional, and social lives.
Show Highlights:
Why Aileen is intensely passionate about working with 2E people and sharing tools and resources
How Aileen’s personal brand of intensity manifests in her passion and her ability to embrace conflict and argumentative engagement; she appears intimidating to others and feels emotions deeply
Growing up, Aileen experienced bullying from her peers that put her “on guard” with anxiety and fear where there was the capacity for negative emotions; she also had an early sense of social justice
How Aileen identifies now as a 2E person who has anxiety, depression, and some ADHD characteristics
In school, Aileen was a student who was eager to please her teachers and experienced solid support from her mother; she struggled to fit in and be accepted with peers
How, as she grew older, she began challenging authority, rebelling, and calling out injustice
How being from a large, Irish Catholic family trained her to use direct bluntness that not everyone accepts
How Aileen learned to tone herself down and tune herself out by escaping in reading books and watching TV; in later life, she numbed herself through substance abuse to “check out” from reality
How Aileen experienced her out-of-control intensity through raging at people as a young person and now uses writing, exercise, and art as ways to maintain control
How Aileen has learned not to be “the biggest voice” in the room but to lift up and make room for the voices of others in community and collaboration
How Aileen uses her fire for good by being helpful and learning all that she can about what she feels passionate about; she has also learned to admit her mistakes and keep going
How Aileen helps other 2E adults find meaning, joy, and purpose in their lives
How relationships with family and friends have helped Aileen learn to reach out for help and trust herself
Why Aileen likes helping others define and find their personal values
How ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy) helps gifted kids figure out what they care about beyond simply proving how smart they are
Parting words from Aileen: “You are OK just the way you are, even if you feel like you don’t belong in a certain situation. That doesn’t mean that there is something fundamentally wrong with you, and it’s OK to ask for help if you need it. Gifted and 2E can have full and satisfied lives, and the fact that we are different shouldn’t stop us from pursuing what we want--and what everyone else gets to have.”
Resources:
Find Aileen on Instagram or at www.coaching4gifted.com. Her work with kids is at www.aileenkelleher.com.
04 Jan 2021
202: Chipping Away Layers of Societal Conditioning with Julia R. Wild
00:35:54
Today’s show focuses on highly sensitive people. My guest loves helping HSPs uncover the layers of conditioning put on them by society and bloom in their uniqueness. Join us to learn more.
Julia R. Wild is a bestselling author, spiritual teacher, and trauma educator with a Master’s degree in psychology. She’s also a writing, creativity, and life coach. Her first self-help book for sensitives became an Amazon #1 bestseller, and she’s a TEDxMileHigh Blogger. Julia loves helping highly sensitive and empath children and women find their soulful, powerful voice. Part of her work also helps parents of highly sensitive children better relate to their kids. Julia enjoys disrupting conformity and subverting the dominant paradigms so people can express their unique, sovereign creativity and live extraordinary lives. She is a big believer in writing for healing and embracing the shadow as much as the light. She has two projects slated for publication soon, including her Master’s thesis on autism from a spiritual perspective.
Show Highlights:
Why is Julia intensely passionate about her creativity, being an “old soul,” helping people find their voice, social justice, equality, and animals
How Julia grew up in a household with extreme abuse and dysfunction in Manhattan but attended an all-girls private school
How Julia’s personal brand of intensity involves being direct and blunt with a heightened sensory perception of sounds and smells
Growing up, Julia’s intensity made everything more pressurized and challenging because of her toxic home and stuffy school
How Julia’s cultural factors involved growing up in the rich environment of NYC, which gave her perspective and helped her be open-minded
Why Julia has to water down what she says and writes
How her intensity gets out of control with things she finds too stimulating
How Julia uses her fire for good to help sensitives set boundaries and self-advocate
Julia’s Master’s thesis, which gives a new, more balanced perspective to autism
How Julia harnesses the power of her intensity with self-care, valuing her capacity for depth, and using her intensity in service to others
Personal habits that help Julia are writing, channeling energy, and finding an appropriate use of humor
The best advice Julia ever received:
From Maya Angelou: “When someone shows you who they are, pay attention the first time.”
From the Buddha: “Don’t believe anything because you heard it. Find out for yourself.”
“You’ve gotta risk it to get the biscuit.”
Books that Julia recommends: Proof of Heaven by Eben Alexander, Walden, by Henry David Thoreau, Citizen by Claudia Rankine, and The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron
How Julia helps others use their fire by “unconditioning” people and undoing the layers of conditioning that have been put on them by society
Parting words from Julia: “Honor your sensitivity. If you’re weird or different, stay weird or different. It’s healing to tell your story, so value it.”
I’m super thrilled to share the recording of Nneka Coxeff’s talk on Writing to Heal from this month’s guest community call! You can find the full discussion in the Embracing Intensity Community!
The wRITE to Heal Project was developed by founder and editor-in-chief of BLP magazine, Nneka D. Coxeff. As a Master Life Coach and Empowerment Practitioner, she offers transformative writing classes, workshops and wellness retreats to gently guide clients through the raw emotions of grief caused by loss, tragedy and transition.
Nneka D. Coxeff is the founder and Editor-in-Chief of Black Lace + Pearls magazine, a creative and healing arts publication devoted to empowering women around the globe to live out their divine purpose. A by-product of BLP magazine is her wRITE to Heal Project where she hosts writing workshops and wellness retreats in order to guide guests through the emotions of grief caused by death, tragedy and trauma.
Through writing prompts, exercises and discussion, she assists guests in breaking free from the torture caused by unanswered questions and the sin of blame. She encourages them to sit with the pain and to own all their emotions in order to move through them and acquire some clarity and guidance. Nneka understands that relationships can be devastating to the soul when abruptly interrupted. However, she believes that it is our relationship with Self that needs to be strengthened in order to understand and to move forward.
As a consultant, she helps her clients put voice to their truths, experiences and life lessons learned along the way in order to help them heal and to inspire others as well. Everyone has a story to tell and it is Nneka's mission to help individuals value their journey, own their truth and stake claim to a more enlightened tomorrow. Writing has been a tool of healing throughout her journey and it is through this artful gift that she assists others along their path of ascension. You can find out more about Nneka and her wRITE to Heal Project at: blacklaceandpearls.com/write-to-heal.html
This is a part of our 2021 Embracing Intensity Community Speaker Series.
Support the wRITE to Heal Project on Patreon! Link Coming Soon!
07 Jun 2021
224: Breaking the Stress Cycle
00:49:37
Today’s show is all about taking a holistic approach to achieve balance and take back control of your life. Join us to learn more.
Zarya Rubin is a physician and functional medicine health coach. She is a formerly stressed-out mom who now helps women in mid-life get to the root of their health issues and manage their stress to take back control of their lives.
Show Highlights:
What is stress?
The relationship between stress, control, and our response to stressors
The body’s primal response: fight, flight, or freeze
Zarya explains her self-care graphic and gives factoids about stress
How unmitigated stress often leads to burnout
Personality traits that make you prone to burnout: being a workaholic, superhero, perfectionist, or lone ranger
Common stressors in daily life are work, family, life events, health, finances, change/loss, and pandemic stress, which all of us have experienced in the last several months
How stress CAN be a positive thing that motivates us to accomplish daily tasks
How women can reduce stress levels by sharing with others and finding community
Three types of stress: acute, episodic, and chronic
The gut/brain connection and how stress affects it
How to prevent stress, manage stress, and build resilience:
Use stress-busting techniques.
Take care of the basics.
Use a checklist, speak up, and practice self-care.
Practice breathing techniques, meditation, and mindfulness.
What self-care is
Types of rest: physical, mental, social, sensory, emotional, spiritual, and creative
Zarya gives examples of breathing exercises and meditation that you can try at home
Tips for good health habits for those with executive functioning impairments
Resources:
Find out more about Zarya and her work, and find her FREE Guide to Becoming Stress-Proof:
256: Finding Neurodivergent Community with Marc Almodovar
00:24:57
The importance of neurodivergent community
Neurodivergent individuals are those who think, process information, and experience the world in ways that differ from the neurotypical (i.e., not neurodivergent) population. The neurodiversity movement advocates for the recognition and celebration of neurodiversity as a natural and valuable form of human diversity, similar to cultural, racial, or gender diversity. Neurodivergence is an important facet of the human race. It seeks to create a more inclusive and accepting society for neurodivergent people. Finding neurodivergent community can play a crucial role in connecting with other like-minded folks.
There are many different ways to be neurodivergent, and neurodivergent people may have unique ways of perceiving, learning, communicating, and interacting with the world. Neurodivergence can affect various brain functions such as attention, memory, and executive function, and can manifest in neurodevelopmental conditions such as ADHD, dyslexia, autism, and more. These neurodevelopmental differences can also provide unique perspectives that can lead to creative problem-solving.
Dominant societal standards have traditionally prioritized neurotypical values and perceptions, which can often leave out the rich perspectives of what neurodivergent people experience. The diversity of human brains and the ways in which they function can lead to new ideas and perspectives that can benefit society as a whole. By fostering an environment that is inclusive and accepting of neurodiversity, we can tap into the unique abilities and potential of neurodivergent people and create a more diverse and innovative society.
Building a solid neurodiversity network can help others connect over their common traits, and explore their own style of neurocognitive functioning.
Finding neurodivergent community
The Embracing Intensity Community is a supportive online space for gifted, creative, and neurodivergent individuals. It is a place where members can connect with others who share similar experiences and challenges, and find support and understanding. The community is designed to provide a safe and welcoming environment where members can discuss their unique perspectives, share their insights and skills, and explore their full potential. The goal of the Embracing Intensity Community is to empower gifted, creative, and neurodivergent individuals to embrace their intensity and to live fulfilling and meaningful lives.
Other neurodivergent community resources
There are a number of other ways that neurodivergent adults can find and connect with their neurodivergent community. Some options include:
Online communities and forums: There are many online groups and forums specifically for neurodivergent people, where individuals can connect with others who share common experiences and challenges.
Local support groups: Many cities and towns have support groups for neurodivergent people and their families. These groups can provide a sense of belonging, as well as practical advice and resources for navigating daily life as a neurodivergent person.
Neurodiversity-focused events: There are often events and conferences focused on neurodiversity and the neurodiversity movement, where neurodivergent individuals can meet and connect with others.
Professional organizations: There are professional organizations that advocate for and support neurodivergent individuals, such as CHADD, the Neurodiversity Project and the Dyslexia Foundation. You can also find local resources in many areas.
College campuses: Colleges and Universities often have groups not only for neurodivergent students, but events for the larger community surrounding the school.
By finding and connecting with other neurodivergent people, individuals can find support, validation, and a sense of belonging. Neurodivergent people may also be able to share their experiences and offer insights and advice to others. Additionally, the neurodiversity movement promotes greater understanding and acceptance of neurodivergent people within society, which can help create a more inclusive and equitable world for all.
Neurodiversity advocates
Neurodiversity advocates play an important role in promoting the acceptance and celebration of neurodevelopment differences and the unique ways in which people experience and perceive the world. They often share their personal experiences as neurodivergent individuals and work to educate others about the concept of neurodiversity. They may also work to highlight the strengths and abilities of neurodiverse people, as well as the challenges they face. By sharing stories and experiences, neurodiversity advocates can help to build understanding and acceptance of neurodivergent individuals within society.
The neurodiversity movement is often seen as a social justice movement, as it seeks to create a more inclusive and equitable society for neurodivergent people. Neurodiversity advocates work to raise awareness about the infinite variation in the way people’s brains function and the diverse ways in which people experience the world.
One of the key roles of neurodiversity advocates is to connect neurodivergent individuals with the various neurodiversity resources that are available. This may include information about support groups, educational resources, and professional organizations that can help neurodiverse individuals navigate their daily lives and achieve their goals. In addition to advocating for neurodiversity within society, neurodiversity advocates may also work to build strong and supportive social relationships within the neurodivergent community. By connecting with others who share common experiences, neurodivergent individuals can find support, validation, and a sense of belonging.
Overall, the role of neurodiversity advocates is to promote understanding, acceptance, and celebration of the unique ways in which people’s brains function and the diverse ways in which people experience the world. By doing so, they help to create a more inclusive and equitable society for all.
About Marc
Marc Almodovar is a neurodiversity advocate, and the cofounder of the ADHD Men’s Support Group, a group specifically for men who have been diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Marc founded the group after his own personal experience with ADHD led him to feel isolated and misunderstood. He saw a need for a safe space where men with ADHD could connect with others who shared common experiences and challenges.
Through the ADHD Men’s Support Group, Marc aims to provide a sense of belonging and support for men with ADHD. He believes that by sharing stories and experiences, men with ADHD can find validation and understanding, and build strong and supportive relationships. Marc also hopes to raise awareness about the unique ways in which people’s brains function and the diverse ways in which people experience the world, as part of the larger neurodiversity movement.
Marc recognizes that mental illness can be stigmatized within society, and he hopes that the ADHD Men’s Support Group can be a place where men with ADHD can feel safe and supported, regardless of their unique ways of thinking and experiencing the world. He believes that by fostering a sense of belonging and acceptance within the group, men with ADHD can work together to advocate for neurodiversity awareness and acceptance within society as a whole. He strikes a unique balance between positive feel-good stories and authenticity, without resorting to toxic positivity.
ADHD Men’s Support Group
The ADHD Men’s support group is a group specifically for men who have been diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). The group provides a space for men with ADHD to connect with others who share common experiences and challenges.
One of the main goals of the ADHD Men’s support group is to provide a sense of belonging and support for men with ADHD. Many men with ADHD may feel isolated or misunderstood due to the unique way in which their brains function and the neurodevelopment differences they experience. The ADHD Men’s support group can provide a safe and supportive environment where men can share their experiences and find validation and understanding.
In addition to providing support and a sense of belonging, an ADHD Men’s support group can also serve as a resource for men with ADHD. Group members may share information about treatment options, coping strategies, and other resources that can help men with ADHD navigate their daily lives. The ADHD Men’s support group can also be a place for men with ADHD to connect with others who share common interests and goals. Through group discussions and social interactions, men with ADHD can build strong and supportive relationships and work together to advocate for neurodiversity awareness and acceptance.
Overall, the ADHD Men’s support group can be a valuable resource for men with ADHD, providing support, validation, and a sense of belonging, as well as an opportunity to connect with others who share common experiences and goals. It can also be a place for men with ADHD to work towards social change and advocate for neurodiversity acceptance within society.
In this episode:
Marc Almodovar is a coach, speaker, and has ADHD
He is passionate about community building and helping men with ADHD feel seen
Marc started an online support group for men with ADHD and it has grown into a nonprofit organization
The organization is the largest online community for men with ADHD
It’s goal is to educate, empower, and inspire men with ADHD through community
Marc enjoys chatting with other people with ADHD
He struggled with understanding and managing his ADHD and had low self-confidence as a result
Cultural factors, including a lack of awareness, education and understanding about ADHD, affected Marc’s ability to express himself and understand his own brain
Marc did not have behavioral or impulsive issues, but he was often “toned out” or distracted
He learned to tone himself down by learning to manage his time and energy, setting boundaries, and practicing self-care
Marc has also learned to embrace his intensity and use it to his advantage by finding ways to channel it into his work and passions
He has found that learning to manage his intensity has helped him to be more present and engaged in his relationships and activities
Creating neurodivergent community:
Marc uses his intensity to create a space for others to be themselves and feel seen
His personal brand is built on transparency and listening to others
Marc has harnessed the power of his intensity by being true to himself and embracing his strengths
He has found that by putting himself in spaces where he can be himself, he is able to use his speaking and active listening skills to connect with others and make a positive impact.
Marc uses affirmations to hype himself up and boost his confidence before speaking events
He helps others use their fire by sharing his own experiences and learning openly and transparently
Marc believes that honesty and transparency are important and encourages others to embrace their intensity and not worry about pleasing everyone
Marc emphasizes the importance of self-care and setting boundaries to manage intensity
He advises others to embrace their passions and find ways to channel their intensity into their work and hobbies
Marc encourages others to be kind to themselves and remember that it’s okay to not have everything figured out
208: Coaching and Mentoring Neurodivergent Adults with Dr. Kimberly Douglass
01:14:47
I found today’s guest in a most unusual place! It was on TikTok that I first noticed her work with gifted and twice-exceptional people, and I knew I had to get her on the show.
Dr. Kimberly Douglass is president and CEO of Remote Learning Solutions. She coaches neurodivergent PhDs/EdDs on the personal, social, and technical aspects of career and entrepreneurship. In addition to moving clients from deficit-based to strengths-based thinking, she helps PhDs/EdDs develop content across a range of subjects. She helps clients deliver content in the form of ebooks, online courses, workbooks, journals, workshops, and more. Dr. Douglass bases her coaching practice on five values: empathy, justice, love, neurodiversity, and purpose. She worked in higher education for over 17 years in various roles and earned a PhD in political science in 2009 and tenured in Information Sciences in 2016 at the University of Tennessee Knoxville. Her teaching and scholarship have developed at the intersection of information science and political behavior.
Show Highlights:
Why Kimberly is intensely passionate about coaching and mentoring neurodivergent adults
How the same issues in our schools with kids are showing up for adults in the workplace
Why people are taught to believe in a fake meritocracy
How giftedness means different things for different people
How Kimberly’s personal brand of intensity is thinking about things in different ways, deep thoughts and issues that can turn into depression, and loving information and data
Growing up, Kimberly felt her intensity through acting goofy and humorous and always being presentable to white culture
The distinction between management and leadership
Cultural factors that affected Kimberly as she grew up in a black Baptist church, being told that she “shouldn’t speak up for herself,” and seeing Christianity as a tool of enslavement
How Kimberly had to tune herself out and tone herself down when she worked at a university with mean, accusatory people
Why she feels her intensity getting out of control when she feels dismissed or undervalued
What made Kimberly take a different look at herself and her son regarding giftedness
How she uses her fire for good in believing people
Habits that help Kimberly harness the power of her intensity are tools that organize her thoughts and life
How she helps others use their fire for good by trying to be neutral and helping people look for affirmation, values, principles, mission, and goals
Kimberly’s advice: “Take the risk. Find someone who will help you take the risk. Realize that not moving and standing still is also risky; it’s just risky in a different way.”
248: Tap into Your Intuition with Cam Werley-Gonzales
00:48:29
Today’s show carries a timely message for those of us who returned to work or school after the anxiety-ridden shutdown of the pandemic. As we try to move forward, many of us still face anxiety and burnout. My guest’s message of tapping into your intuition and doing things outside the box is relevant to almost everyone. Join us to learn more!
Cam Werley-Gonzales is an intuitive, living visionary, gifted embodiment expert, and intuitive unschooling catalyst. She is the owner of the Cambria Institute, a company that celebrates learning and living fully outside the proverbial education “box.” With over 25 years as an expert educator, it is Cam’s deepest conviction that while learners can engage with some success in typical schools, they are optimally served by alternate learning pathways, most notably “unschooling.” The Cambria Institute supports gifted families to embody their giftedness in all areas of life. The truth is that we get to learn, friend, work, love, parent, hobby, and enjoy all the things that come along with this intense and massively phenomenal gifted life with ease and alignment, uniquely in our own way.
Show Highlights:
Why Cam is intensely passionate about unschooling and her family’s unconventional life of travel and location independence as digital nomads
How Cam opened an alternative-style brick and mortar school in Pasadena in 2019–right before the pandemic chaos began
Why the Cambria Curated Community (CCC) was formed as a community of unschooling families
How Cam’s personal brand of intensity means big feelings and big emotions–all the time
How Cam’s intensity affected her in childhood with the need to hide her true self and be a people-pleaser in her family
How Cam learned “to play the school game” really well as a kid but was traumatized, in part because of Pragmatic Language Impairment
Differences in Pragmatic Language Impairment (PLI) and autism
How Cam noticed communication differences the most in relationship with her spouse, who comes from a different cultural background
How Cam learned to tone down and tune herself out in her professional career as a teacher and just follow what she was told to do
How Cam’s intensity got out of control when she was homeschooling her oldest son
How Cam uses her fire for good to help families learn unschooling and live intuitively
Howunschoolingis defined: “Trusting that each person will intuitively be drawn to learn all the things they need to learn in their lifetime to tap into who they are as individuals so that their learning caters directly to them. The focus is on self-direction in learning.”
How our intuition relates to our authenticity as a unique person and promotes emotional intelligence
How Cam harnesses the power of her intensity by tuning into her happiness and joy with her life, family, and work
Why Cam adopted the personal habit of giving herself the gift of “slow mornings”
How Cam helps others use their own fire by teaching people to tap into their true intuition and authenticity
26 Oct 2020
196: Gifted and Using her Fire for Good with Lana Quackenbush
01:04:48
In today’s show, I introduce you to a good friend who has been an anchor for me in creating a community over the last ten years, both in-person and online. Join us!
Lana Quackenbush has been part of my Ignite Your Power program for several years, and she frequently joined the monthly Embracing Intensity guest calls last year. I’ve seen from the beginning of our relationship what an amazing person she is and how she’s learning to own the uniqueness of who she is. Lana and I both love helping people find connections in the common experiences of intensity, giftedness, twice-exceptionality, and creativity.
Show Highlights:
Why Lana identifies as a mixed-race, newlywed, preschool teacher who loves peacemaking and doing the right thing
How Lana’s personal brand of intensity revolves around her qualities of being intensely intellectual, perfectionistic, and judgmental
Why as a Virgo, Lana has to work on finding balance in many ways
Growing up, Lana’s mom told her she was “exhausting,” and she had a hard time sleeping as a sickly child who learned to tune out her body’s signals
The cultural factors that added to the “tornado of chaos” in Lana’s biracial, highly social family; it was always stressed to her the importance of “presenting” herself well
How Lana learned to tune herself out or tone herself down in light of her mother’s postpartum depression and the realization that her needs weren’t always going to be met
How Lana’s intensity gets out of control at times when she is wronged, and her self-righteous indignation kicks in
The shift for Lana in finding a relationship that uplifts her intensity in a positive way
How Lana uses her fire for good as she spends her days teaching two-year-olds and shows interest in families, children, and their parents
Why Lana loves to see the emotional model of raising children reign over the intellectual model
How Lana harnesses the power of her intensity by doing yoga and studying Buddhism
How Lana follows her varied interests in phases, organizes spaces in her home to meet her needs, and imposes rules for herself about cleaning up one area before moving on
Lana’s inspirational to-do list hack: she writes her list on business cards so the list is manageable, and she can feel the satisfaction of checking off each item
Why Lana is ever-so-grateful that she followed the best advice she ever received: “Don’t make any permanent life choices before age 25.”
Books that Lana recommends: Ishmael by Daniel Quinn and The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield
How Lana helps others use their fire by kid-wrangling, making spaces for them, and meeting their needs
Why Lana is learning to identify proudly as a person of color
251: Neurodivergence and Queerness with Leela Sinha
00:37:40
Today’s episode is a recording of our talk with Leela Sinha on the intersection of neurodivergence and gender. This is definitely not an “inside-the-box” topic. You can find the full discussion in the Embracing Intensity community atcommunity@embracingintensity.com.
Show Highlights:
The overlap between autism and gender diversity
How neurodivergence is defined as a very broad umbrella term for the different ways that people’s brains function
Why the definition of queerness has changed over time but is still used as an umbrella term
The overlap between queerness and neurodivergence
How growing up with a different sense of known reality will cause attitudes and moves of self-protection
How deconstruction occurs in society and feels “right” to stigmatized people
Why identifying as non-binary or trans has become trendy as people have become more aware of their options for exploration
Challenges in the non-binary gender spaces because of bias even in inclusion views
How a fully nourishing environment helps neurodivergent kids understand their options and feel safe to express themselves
How the progression occurs in media representation for queer representation and non-binary representation
How pathologizing neurodivergence or queerness can affect a person’s ability to access resources and care
Why accessibility is often not accounted for in the help and support spaces
This week's episode is brief, with a quick update about my quarantine, exposure to Covid and awaiting our test results.
In this episode:
Barriers to early identification.
Asymptomatic spread.
Even when we follow all the rules, we can still get exposed.
08 Nov 2021
240: A Grown-Up Gifted Kid Helping People Through Therapy and Training with Dr. Matt Zakreski
00:40:52
I first met today’s guest when he enthusiastically shared some of my animated shorts on 2E experiences. We have followed each other, and I’m a big fan of his advocacy work. Join us to learn more!
Dr. Matt Zakreski is a psychologist who works with gifted and twice-exceptional folks. We have connected over social media, and I’m excited to talk to him today and introduce him to the Embracing Intensity audience.
Show Highlights:
How Matt is intensely passionate about his experience as a “grown-up gifted kid,” helping people through therapy and training, ultimate Frisbee, craft beer, Bruce Springsteen, and comic books
Why Matt’s personal brand of intensity means that he wants things to be “this way,” and has a tough time when they aren’t; he wants to know expectations ahead of time
How Matt learned to embrace his giftedness later in his school years and had to find his people in the arts
Why Matt speaks the language of caring and wants to be around people who care about something
How even with ADHD and giftedness, Matt appreciates authenticity in himself and others
In his school experience, Matt realized how to “flex” his gifts in language arts but struggled in STEM classes
How Matt advises families to learn from his mistakes to “work smart, not hard”
How Matt felt responsibility and a lot of expectations as the oldest child in his family
How Matt felt the divide in high school between living in the sports world as an athlete and the arts world
How Matt tried to tone himself down and embrace his leadership style of being second in command
How Matt felt his intensity out of control significantly when he was bullied in 8th grade
How Matt uses his fire for good by helping kids learn to lift others up instead of tearing others down
Why getting in touch with his emotional world and being vulnerable have helped Matt harness the power of his intensity
Personal habits that have helped Matt use his fire positively are taking time daily for long walks, podcasts, and music
How Matt helps others use their fire by helping them be their best selves
Why it’s energizing to make time for yourself
Parting words from Matt: “If you are too much for some people, then those are not your people. Do something for you, and do your version of it. Have the confidence to put your own spin on what self-care looks like for you. We have to value putting ourselves in inspiring and charging situations instead of draining ones. You are worth putting yourself first.”
Today’s show lets you listen to our recent group call with Jeff Harry of Rediscover Your Play. Jeff helps us with tips, insights, and interactive exercises to learn more about “Playing With Your Inner Critic.” Join us to learn more!
Jeff Harry is a Workplace Play Consultant, International Play Speaker, and Positive Psychology Play Coach. He helps individuals and companies navigate difficult conversations and address their most challenging issues using play and positive psychology. While we spend most of our time pretending to be important, serious grownups, it’s when we let go of that facade and just play that the real magic happens. Fully embracing your own nerdy genius gives you the power to make a difference and change lives. Jeff believes that we already have many of the answers we seek, and by simply unleashing our inner child, we can find our purpose and help to create a better world.
Show Highlights:
An interactive exercise to shed light on how we judge ourselves and need to allow more freedom in our mindset
The reasons we don’t play anymore are because the external noise and our internal negativity bias keep us from playing.
How leaning into our intuitive mind allows us to work with our inner critic
How our brain makes connections when in a flow state and allows creative actions
How to get in flow: relax, figure out what calms you down, quiet everything, and allow yourself to “get bored”
Your inner critic has a playlist; what does yours say?
How to identify what your inner critic says to you
How to identify what your inner critic sounds like and looks like, and why you need to give it a character name
How to empower your inner child by affirming the opposite of what your inner critic says
How you can create new neural pathways by using empowering language
How addressing your inner critic helps deal with the outer critics
How to spark your inner child
Why you need to allow feelings to flow through and go
How to ask, “What is driving my decision?”(The answer SHOULD be play, curiosity, and experimentation!)
In this episode of the Embracing Intensity podcast, host Aurora Remember Holtzman interviews Bob Yamtich about his journey with intensity, nonviolent communication (NVC), and self-connection. Bob shares his personal experiences with bipolar disorder and hypomania, the importance of shared reality, and his passion for self-connection. He discusses his work, including his self-connection coloring book, and provides insights into the practice of NVC for both self-awareness and enhancing interpersonal communication. Aurora and Bob also delve into the challenges and rewards of forming in-person connections and the role of intensity in their lives. The episode concludes with Bob's emphasis on the foundational role of self-connection in his approach to NVC and a preview of his upcoming live discussion on the topic.
About Bob:
Bob Yamtich is a therapist and Nonviolent Communication trainer. He completed his Bachelor’s in Civil Engineering in 2003, the BayNVC Nonviolent Communication Leadership Program in 2007 (assisting in LP08), and his Master’s in Counseling Psychology in 2011. He earned his Marriage and Family Therapist license in California in 2014. He was a founding member of the Da Vinci Center for Gifted Children in Alameda, CA, and Genesis Innovation Academy in Atlanta, GA. Bob currently lives in Indiana and offers phone coaching and in-person training. He can be followed on Twitter @BobYamtich.
In this episode:
Introduction by Bob about trusting intensity based on shared reality and positive contributions.
Aurora introduces Bob Yamtich, mentioning his upcoming talk on Nonviolent Communication (NVC) and their mutual appreciation for NVC.
Bob expresses gratitude for being on the podcast.
Aurora asks Bob about what he is intensely passionate about; Bob mentions his role as a dad and his professional passion for developing self-connection, highlighting his self-connection coloring book.
Discussion on how NVC helps both with self-connection and interpersonal communication.
Bob speaks about overcoming hypomania and psychosis, emphasizing the need for stability and shared reality.
Bob shares his journey with bipolar disorder and the importance of medication alongside therapeutic practices.
Aurora asks about the impact of intensity during Bob's upbringing; Bob shares how his extreme passion led to feelings of guilt and loneliness.
Bob mentions his gifted program experience and the importance of having passionate friends.
Bob discusses how nonviolent communication helped him rebuild his life and manage his intensity.
Aurora and Bob talk about the challenges and benefits of connecting with others in person versus online.
Bob reflects on the shadow side of his intensity, including an episode where he buried treasure and was not in touch with shared reality.
Emphasis on the importance of self-connection in managing intensity and understanding one's needs.
Bob shares a final blessing of self-connection and invites listeners to explore this concept along with empathy and honesty in nonviolent communication.
In this episode, where we delve into the importance of self-care in our daily lives. Whether it's through mindfulness practices, physical exercise, or leisure time activities, taking care of our emotional and physical health is crucial for a better quality of life. From diaphragmatic breathing to bike rides, we explore different self-care practices that can help us manage daily stressors and negative emotions without relying on prescription medication. We also discuss how self-care can benefit young people, families, and individuals with mental illnesses. Join us as we share new ideas and small steps towards creating our own self-care regimens and personal commitments. From transition rituals to champions of the shengha, we explore the full range of emotions and the importance of social interaction and sense of independence in our self-care plan. So, grab your lunch break or end of the day, and tune in to learn how self-care can positively impact our physical and emotional well-being in the long term.
In this discussion, Rukshana shares insights and practical tips on how to maintain a playful and curious mindset throughout your life. Drawing on her own experiences, Rukshana shows that play is not just for kids – it's a vital tool for personal growth, creativity, and overall well-being.
Staying In Touch with Playfulness
Triem argues that many of us lose touch with our playful side as we grow older, getting bogged down in the demands of work, family, and daily routines. But she shows that playfulness is not just a frivolous indulgence – it's a fundamental human need that can help us stay curious, flexible, and resilient in the face of challenges.
Through engaging stories and exploration, Triem encourages her audience to rediscover their inner child and embrace a spirit of play in all areas of their lives. Whether it's trying new activities, engaging in creative pursuits, or simply finding joy in everyday moments, Triem shows that playfulness is the key to unlocking our full potential as human beings.
Never Leave the Playground is a powerful and uplifting discussion that will leave you feeling inspired, motivated, and eager to incorporate more play into your daily routine. Whether you're looking to boost your creativity, improve your relationships, or simply have more fun in life, this talk is sure to provide you with valuable insights and practical strategies for cultivating a playful and joyful existence. You can find the full community discussion in the Embracing Intensity Membership.
About Rukshana
Rukshana has a huge Hunger to serve, to bring deep connection to transformation women all around the world. Rukshana Hafez Triem is an Author, inspirational Speaker, and CEO of a Women's Lifestyle Coaching LLC. Her journey started in Zambia living in a Refugee camp. Due to Trauma and overcoming her sexual abuse past, she was able to create a comfortable lifestyle that supports her family. She shares her story with others as she travels around the world, doing public speaking, workshops and Retreat and her New Mission Building schools in Africa, in Mozambique, Malawi and Zambia.
In this episode:
Rukshana Triem, a former refugee, discovered the benefits of play and exercise through her Pacific Northwest Women's Hiking Group, emphasizing the importance of self-care activities for emotional health and balance in daily life.
Playfulness and nature are connected for Rukshana, who suggests small steps like a mindful walk or bike ride as part of a self-care regimen to reduce daily stressors and promote positive changes in brain function and heart rate variability.
Rukshana's book, Never Leave the Playground, encourages readers to create their own self-care plan based on their life experiences and personal commitment to self-love, vulnerability, and privacy policy.
Self-care activities can also benefit family life, including young children who can develop social skills and transition rituals through play and new tasks, such as video games or self-regulation strategies, that promote a sense of play for the whole family.
Incorporating play into our lives can be a healthy self-care practice for long-term health and managing daily stressors.
Taking small steps towards our own goals, such as scheduling play during lunch breaks, can be a great way to build healthy habits.
Different people may find play in different activities, and exploring what play means to us individually can be a new skill to develop.
Encouraging family members and friends to prioritize play and building a culture of play can also be a form of self-care and a healthy habit.
Building a culture of play is necessary for our soul and can give permission to others to prioritize play as well.
There are resources available to dive deeper into the topic of play, including call recordings and podcasts.
The speakers mentioned in the podcast, Gary Ware and Jeff Harry, have platforms focused on play and are great resources.
275: The Healing Power of Music w/ Princess Fortier
00:25:31
This week on the Embracing Intensity podcast, host Aurora discusses the transformative power of music with guest Princess Fortier. Princess shares her personal journey of using singing to alleviate her chronic migraines, which began at the age of 13. Despite initially pursuing neuroscience to find a medical cure, she discovered that singing provided significant relief from her symptoms. Aurora and Princess delve into how music can relax, heal, and foster emotional well-being, particularly for those with neurodivergent traits like ADHD and autism. They also explore the importance of community in musical healing practices and offer practical advice for using music and singing as therapeutic tools. Tips for finding and creating musical communities are discussed, along with the benefits of engaging in sound baths and circle singing.
About Princess:
Princess Fortier is a dynamic musician, speaker, and advocate for mental health and neurodivergence. With a rich background in using music as a therapeutic tool, she has dedicated her career to helping others find healing and self-expression through creative outlets. Princess's work emphasizes the emotional and psychological benefits of music, drawing from her personal experiences and professional expertise to inspire and empower her audience. She is known for her engaging and heartfelt presentations, making complex topics accessible and relatable to diverse audiences.
In this Episode:
Princess shares how music has helped her understand and process emotions, learn about love, and find healing.
Aurora introduces the "Embracing Intensity" podcast, aimed at gifted, creative, twice-exceptional individuals.
Moving to a single monthly episode improved downloads.
Princess discusses her journey studying neuroscience to find a cure for her migraines.
Singing during a migraine attack unexpectedly relieved her symptoms.
Aurora opens up Q&A, asking Princess about factors contributing to music helping with migraines.
Princess explains the potential of music to relax and align with one's purpose, influencing mental and physical well-being.
Community involvement in singing and music is encouraged for healing and creativity.
Practical suggestions for engaging in music, such as joining choirs or attending sound bowl classes.
Discussion on how specific songs and types of music can be personalized for therapeutic benefit.
Auroras' philosophy: using her platform to allow others to share their voices.
Princess's invitation to explore creating and experiencing music for personal therapy.
Closing remarks emphasize continuing conversation and participating in the Embracing Intensity community.
Aurora concludes with invitations to join the community for support and access to tools for self-regulation.
198: Highlighting Unique Qualities in Gifted Adults with Nadja Cereghetti
00:43:29
Today’s show brings inspiration and joy from my guest and her story. She’s doing great things in the world of gifted adults, bringing them together by highlighting their unique qualities. Join us to learn more!
Nadja Cereghetti is the host of the Unleash Monday podcast for gifted adults. Based in Switzerland, Nadja has a passion for learning new things, talking to people, science, and all things Marie Kondo. I’m thrilled to have discovered her podcast and to introduce her to you today!
Show Highlights:
Why Nadja is intensely passionate about gifted adults and empowering women
How Nadja’s personal brand of intensity always involved her being “too much” and “too loud”
How Nadja learned in school and went through times of failure and times of success
The cultural factors that affected Nadja growing up in Switzerland in being white and not being limited by gender
Why traditional education isn’t necessary in Switzerland to get a good job or make a good living
Why Nadja tones herself down by avoiding alcohol, mainly because no one can handle her uninhibited self
How Nadja is able to control her intensity by practicing karate
Why Nadja created her podcast to touch people, meet new people, and highlight unidentified gifted adults
How the language around giftedness has evolved and developed
How Nadja uses coping mechanisms to hide her dyslexia and gain confidence to reject other people’s opinions
How Nadja received advice from her stepdad about not fitting in and having your own way of doing things, and why that’s perfectly acceptable
How others’ perceptions of you change according to how you dress
Books that have influenced Nadja: The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo, Joyful by Ingrid Fetell Lee, and The Book of Joy by the 14th Dalai Lama, Tenzin Gyatso, and Archbishop Desmond Tutu
How Nadja helps others by creating a community and leading by example to show that a bubbly person can still achieve things in life
How Nadja suffered from imposter syndrome but has finally discovered who she is and how she can help others
266: Navigating Intensity Through a Cultural Lens w/ Kaitlin Smith
00:41:39
In this episode of the Embracing Intensity Podcast, host Aurora interviews Kaitlin Smith, a scholar, facilitator, and founder of Our Wild Minds. Kaitlin shares her journey as a gifted BIPOC individual, her work in supporting gifted adults, and her research on the history of mind sciences. Join Aurora and Kaitlin as they explore the intersections between intensity, cultural dynamics, and personal growth.
In this interview, Aurora and Kaitlin delve into Kaitlin's experiences as a gifted BIPOC individual, the challenges she faced growing up, and the cultural factors that affected her self-expression. They discuss how Kaitlin uses her intensity to make a positive impact and navigate the complex dynamics of the workplace. Kaitlin also shares her insights on harnessing the power of intensity and helping others do the same through her community platform, Our Wild Minds.
Join Aurora and Kaitlin as they delve into the complexities of intensity and its transformative potential in this thought-provoking episode of the Embracing Intensity Podcast.
In This Episode:
Kaitlin's journey as a scholar, facilitator, and founder of Our Wild Minds.
The intersections between the history of mind sciences and African American studies in Kaitlin's research.
The challenges Kaitlin faced growing up in a predominantly white suburb and the conflicting expectations placed upon her as a gifted Black individual.
The impact of cultural dynamics on expression and the pressure to conform to societal expectations.
How Kaitlin uses her fire for good through various roles, including her work as a PhD student, teaching fellow, and community builder.
The importance of clarity, deprogramming, and prioritizing values in harnessing the power of intensity.
Kaitlin's insights on creating space for connection, introspection, learning, manifestation, and giving back through Our Wild Minds.
The empowering message that it's never too late to embrace authenticity and live a life aligned with your true self.
For many people, discovering their giftedness can open many doors, but when it becomes the center of our identity it can close many as well. In this episode, I share my observations over the years in gifted communities on the journey to self-understanding.
In this episode:
Stories of gifted discovery.
Types of gifted communities I've observed.
Times when focusing on gifted identity can be helpful, and when it can get in the way.
I’m excited to share our first guest call for the 2021 season in the Embracing Intensity Community with Brendan Mahan, of ADHD Essentials, on the Wall of Awful!
“Everyone fails. Some, like those with executive function challenges, fail more than others.
Each failure brings negative emotions – guilt, disappointment. These smaller emotions become stronger feelings of anxiety, shame and even loneliness if one is repeatedly rejected because of their errors. Each time these negative emotions are experienced, another brick is placed into that person’s Wall of Awful.
The Wall of Awful is the emotional barrier that prevents us from initiating tasks and taking the risks necessary to make reach our goals. It is the emotional consequence of having ADHD and it must be understood to be overcome.
Join us in a profound exploration of fun, creativity, and self-care in our latest Embracing Intensity Podcast episode with special guest Boontarika Sripom. Dive deep into the significance of play in nurturing personal growth and bringing joy into our lives, especially for the intensely creative and gifted. Boontarika, a life coach with a passion for play and a background in clinical psychology and human development, shares her insights on how engaging in playful activities can foster innovation, relieve stress, and support our overall well-being. Discover the psychological foundations of play, its role in human development, and how to incorporate more playful moments into your daily routine. Whether you're seeking ways to rejuvenate your creative spirit or find balance in your intense life, this conversation is a reminder of play's transformative power.
For the creative, differently wired, and divergent thinker, play can be as natural as breathing. For some of us, there are layers of shame or uncertainty that inhibit playing across the lifespan. We may be separated from an essential part of maintaining authenticity. This conversation will explore the power of play, sprinkle archetypal journeys within play and fandoms, and encourage listeners to honor their inner children by playing. To those who continue playing: My inner child honors yours. I just waved at you across the playground. :)
About Boontarika:
Boontarika Sripom, MA is a therapy-informed life coach. Her work focuses on coaching using archetypes and understanding the cognition of the differently wired, specifically highly sensitive, creative, and gamer folks. She believes knowledge, guidance, and compassion leads to insights, individual acceptance, and empowerment to change. Boonie is a former preschool teacher, paraprofessional in special education, Outreach Counselor Intern, and College Counselor for creative students. She earned her Master’s in Clinical Psychology from the Chicago School of Professional Psychology. Her favorite games are Age of Empires, World of Warcraft, and Minecraft. She is currently playing Fortnite, Roblox, and The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild.
In this episode:
Rejuvenating rest and exploring creativity as self-care with Sharon Burton's upcoming book release.
The significance of play, especially for intense, gifted, creative individuals.
Boontarika introduces her talk on play's importance, touching on her background in clinical psychology and love for video games.
Discussion on the psychological aspects of play, highlighting its components like being purposeless, voluntary, and having inherent attraction.
Mentions of Stuart Brown and the National Institute of Play, and their work on defining the components of play.
Boontarika shares personal anecdotes and illustrations to explain concepts of play.
Exploration of play's therapeutic and developmental benefits, including combating depression and fostering a sense of community.
Reference to Jane McGonigal's works on how games can improve our lives and the role of gamification.
Emphasis on the therapeutic aspects for neurodivergent individuals and how play serves as a safe space.
Reflection on societal pressures, adulthood's responsibilities, and the overall decline in play.
Discussion turns to practical ways to reintegrate play into life and its broader benefits.
Concluding thoughts on the cultural and personal importance of play, inviting the audience to explore their own playful nature.
Integrating play into educational settings and acknowledging the varying definitions of play.
246: Rising Up Against Imposter Syndrome with Kate Arms
00:25:13
Imposter syndrome is something that most people have felt at some point or another. Intense people may feel this in magnified ways, as the world tells them they are not welcome as they are. Join us on this guest call to learn more!
Kate Arms is a return guest to the show, and I’m thrilled to welcome her back for this guest call. Kate is a classic overthinker, high achiever, and multipotentiality who exudes intensity. Her career has spanned being a lawyer, arts administrator, coach for gifted and twice-exceptional adults and parents of gifted and twice-exceptional kids, and an Agile Coach in a high-tech company. She is the author of several books and has experience in coaching, leadership development, and psychology. Kate is here to help us understand imposter syndrome and how to reduce our suffering within it by building more connections.
Show Highlights:
Kate defines imposter syndrome as “a group of symptoms clustered together to make us feel like we don’t belong”
How symptoms can include anxiety, hypervigilance self-consciousness, self-sabotage, perfectionism, and a sense of hiding who you really are
How these symptoms pair with suffering to make us feel awful and ashamed
How symptom relief and root-cause relief work together
Why imposter syndrome boils down to belonging, connection, and a feeling of, “They won’t want me if they know who I really am.”
How we are programmed (especially intense people) to think we are not welcome as we are because of childhood shaming, being told to “tone down,” and being too much or too sensitive
How the “mismatch” occurs and how to address it
How the process of learning happens when we start out blissfully ignorant
The difference between identity and character vs. skills and experiences
Why we must to learn to be comfortable in being ourselves–even if it makes others uncomfortable
Why it’s hard to risk having the courage to overwhelm others with who we really are
How we can build our sense of belonging through building our community
How feeling connection with at least three people in your group will foster your feeling of belonging
[Rerun] Not Your Average Mom with Arianna Bradford
00:39:34
This December, I'm continuing the tradition of sharing reruns of some of my favorite episodes, this time from Season 2. This episode is with Arianna Bradford. Since I last spoke to her, Arianna has been busy. She has dissolved the NYAM project and now writes and speaks to groups of parents for a living. Her book, Shame on You, Big Truths from a Bad Mom, was independently released July 7, and it’s been widely regarded as a fun, honest book for parents. She’s currently working on her second book, and is in the midst of relocating to Florida. You can find out more about her book, schedule her for events, and more at: theariannabradford.com
Is your personality way too big for most people to handle? And do you find yourself sometimes trying to become smaller than you really are? Today we're super excited to have Arianna Bradford join us on the show! Arianna was the founder and lead editor of the Not Your Average Mom (NYAM) Project, which is dedicated to celebrating strong women outside of the role of motherhood. Arianna really loves to talk and to express the ideas that she has going on in her head. She often found herself trying to curb the amount of talking she did when she was in high school, but it seldom worked for longer than ten minutes. Listen in today to find out what Arianna has to share about her passion and her fire.
Arianna was raised in a small town in Florida and spent the first twenty years of her life there. She thought that she would never leave. Due to unexpected circumstances, however, she moved to Texas and stayed there for about six years. During that time, she met her husband and they had two children, Miles and Charlie. Arianna, her husband, and their two young children now live in Happy Valley, Oregon. When she's not busy writing something or photographing people, Arianna enjoys reading, playing video games, or trying to sleep. Listen in today to find out more about Arianna and her brand of intensity.
Show highlights:
During the time that she was living in Texas, her desire to capture images of her small son rekindled Arianna's interest in photography.
Arianna loved the creative direction portion of photography when she started taking photos again, towards the end of 2014.
The hard part of photography for Arianna then was that there was not a lot of money to be made from it in Austen.
Discovering that she has a passion for working one-on-one with people, as a photographer- especially with women.
Arianna's main focus is on helping women realize their own individual power and strength.
What growing up was like for Arianna.
Arianna was raised to think past what people would tell her.
Being raised in a household with the attitude that you may as well be straightforward because people are going to judge you anyway.
It took Arianna a long time to realize that sometimes it wasn't her chasing people away. It was their own prejudices and problems that did that.
Arianna had to really try to curb her talking at high school, but it seldom worked for longer than ten minutes.
Wanting to be smaller than she was.
Most people believe that they need to be liked by as many people as possible.
An anxious moment that Arianna had back in college when she was struggling socially.
An incident that caused her anxiety and OCD to get out of control.
Arianna believes that all emotions, even negative ones, can be channeled into something positive.
She has made some of her greatest things in times of intense anger or sadness.
The NYAM project was born of intense anger in Arianna.
There are people who really identify with Arianna's writing.
Art has really helped Arianna with harnessing the power of her intensity.
Working hard on communication and trying to understand where other people are coming from.
Remember that there's nothing wrong with being firey. People don't have to love you and it's okay for your fire to warm some people more than others.
Today’s guest had all the markers of traditional success, an Ivy League Education, letters after her name and a well paying career, but she realized she was miserable because she was not being authentic to herself. She broke out of the medical system to help people in a more holistic way. Join us!
Dr. Zarya Rubin is a Harvard-educated physician and certified health and wellness coach who is passionate about helping people heal through functional medicine. She partners with her clients to get to the root cause of symptoms and create a roadmap to wellness.
Show Highlights:
Why Zarya considers herself a “multipotentialite” who is passionate about many interests and has engaged her entrepreneurial qualities in many varied careers
How Zarya’s love of opera singing has fared during the time of COVID
Zarya’s personal brand of intensity means that she has always been “a lot,” but seemed like a “garden variety normal intense person” during her time in NYC
Why she is intense about political activism and her many passions but has learned to be quieter as she has aged and come into the coaching space, learning to live a slower paced life on the west coast
How Zarya’s intensity has transformed over the years as she grew up as a shy and quiet child
How the acceleration from kindergarten to 3rd grade in one year led to Zarya’s inner struggle with darkness and anxiety
The disastrous outcome of Zarya’s acceleration in school leading her to become a burnt out gifted kid
Cultural factors that influenced Zarya stemmed from her very Jewish, very intense, and very loud family
How Zarya had to tone down and tune out for decades to make herself more acceptable to women in friendships and men in relationships, which also meant she dumbed down her education and career
How Zarya’s intensity never appeared out of control outwardly, but she inwardly dealt with anxiety and PTSD
How Zarya uses her relentless pursuit of answers and solutions for the good of her clients and her family
How Zarya’s husband helped her gain a new perspective on social media posts
What parents of gifted kids really want
How Zarya harnesses the power of her intensity by embracing, recognizing, acknowledging, and accepting it
How Zarya’s goal as a coach is working with women in midlife to help them find their spark, joy, and passion again
Continuing the tradition of reruns for the month of December, and this month I'll be sharing some of my top episodes from 2019. The top guest episode was on Positive Disintegration w/ Chris Wells, and she has a new podcast on the topic that just came out recently! You can find the discussion recording and her latest talk on Overexitabilities in the Embracing Intensity Community.
Kazmiers Dabrowski was an early proponent of what we now call the neurodiversity movement. He asserted that what was viewed as "neuroses" were not an illness, but in fact a sign of high developmental potential! His theory of Positive Disintegration views the importance of falling apart, or disintegrating, before integrating into a higher whole.
This week, Chris Wells, Director of Qualitative Research at the Gifted Development Center, dives deeper into Dabrowski's life, what led to his theory and how it applies to us in the current day.
In this episode:
How Dabrowski's theory relates to the current neurodiversity movement.
How his own life experiences and trauma impacted his theory.
The importance of values.
The three factors of developmental potential.
How dynamisms, or the forces that drive our actions, serve as a catalyst to higher development.
Today’s show focuses on strategies for success. My guest combines her late-in-life diagnoses, training, and experience to help clients accomplish their goals.
Maaya Hitomi is an ADHD coach and academic strategist who supports ADHD, autistic, and otherwise neurodivergent clients to build strategies for better coping. At Structured Success, Maaya’s own coaching and consultation practice, she builds upon her Master’s training in psychology, her experience as a coach, and her lived experience as a neurodivergent person. Being ADHD, autistic, and dyslexic herself, Maaya credits her academic and professional success to the coping strategies she learned along the way. Focused on collaboratively building individualized coping strategies to support her clients, Maaya helps them make the healthiest thing the easiest thing.
Show Highlights:
Why Maaya is intensely passionate about giving people tools to understand how their minds work as she teaches coping strategies and learns alongside them
How her mom didn’t acknowledge Maaya’s ADHD early on, and her official ADHD, autism, and dyslexia diagnoses didn’t come until her university years
In school, Maaya was always seeking to learn more and caused problems because of being bullied and feeling socially awkward
Cultural factors that affected Maaya include her privileged upbringing in the suburbs and gifted programs at school
Why Maaya’s intensity is less of a problem now because it’s been identified and accepted
How Maaya was always “too everything” in elementary school, so she put her head down and spent some lonely years in high school, which was the worst thing she could have done
How Maaya’s intensity got out of control when she stood up to a bully and was overwhelmed into shutdown mode--an act that had far-reaching effects
How Maaya uses her fire for good by using her personal acceptance and sharing her knowledge and experience with her clients
How Maaya has collected “nuggets of truth” along the way and developed coping strategies that she can share with clients
How Maaya helps others use their fire by bringing strategies and options to them with which to fashion a workable system
267: Building Confidence & Resilience w/ CoCo Leary
00:55:54
In this episode of the Embracing Intensity Podcast, we bring you an inspiring conversation with Cosette "Coco" Leary. Coco’s gripping story takes us on a journey from her days as a welfare recipient to eventually becoming a celebrated motivational speaker and entrepreneur. Her story is laced with determination, resilience, and overcoming adversity to redefine herself on her own terms. Join us as we delve into Coco's remarkable life journey.
Coco candidly shares her life from being a welfare recipient to ascending to the realms of high-profile activism and motivational speaking. We learn about her early struggles with poverty, systemic barriers, and personal hurdles that conditioned her resilience and determination to achieve her dreams. Coco speaks passionately about her staunch belief in the power of perseverance, community, education, and self-belief. She beautifully illustrates how she transformed a life limited by societal expectations into a path teeming with promise and endless potential.
Coco’s inspiring story delivers a powerful message about fighting for one’s dreams despite being in the face of adversity. This episode is a testament to the power of resilience, the quest for education, and the determination to change the narrative regardless of one's background. Tune in for a dose of intense inspiration!
In this episode:
Coco shares the pivotal role desperation played in building her resilience.
Her brave initiative to pen a letter to a CEO that opened new avenues in her life.
The importance of having a support system and the role sisterhood played in Coco's life.
How her children’s unmet needs in public schools led her to homeschooling, and the benefits thereof.
The impactful experience of her stint in Capitol Hill in D.C which led her to establish her empire.
Coco’s vision for transforming societal norms through increased social connection and community support.
Kari Betton is a coach and mentor for highly sensitive and twice-exceptional people, with a passion for helping them find their innate sense of intuitive flow.
Too often, we can be focused on developing our mental health, physical health, intellect, etc, but including intuitive development in our personal development practice creates an easier foundation for all types of development within you to be congruent with each other.
A personal intuitive wandering practice can have profound implications on achieving the results and designing the life that you desire. In this call, Kari will focus on how to attain clarity and enough space in your life to listen to the inner wisdom that you already have.
In their spare time, Kari enjoys recording and producing their podcast Decolonizing Sexuality, vegan foodie adventures with friends, and painting galaxies.
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