DNA Surprises (Alexis Hourselt)

Black sheep. Golden child. In the DNA surprise community, these are labels we hear a lot. In this week’s episode, Sarah shares her emotional journey before, during, and after, her DNA discovery. Growing up, she never felt like she fit in, but her concerns were often dismissed. Many years later, her suspicions were confirmed–her dad, Joe was not her biological father. But she didn’t know for sure who was.

Sarah’s story also touches on the role that alcohol played within her family and in her own personal journey. She discusses why she ultimately decided to seek sobriety and create strong boundaries with her raised family, and how she’s pursuing relationships with her newfound relatives. 

Thank you for sharing your story, Sarah.

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After a DNA surprise is uncovered, many moments from the past come into focus. Especially moments that, in hindsight, were missed opportunities for parents to tell the truth.

In this week’s episode, Christina shares how she uncovered her DNA surprise and how she’s feeling about seven months into her discovery. She  discusses how she’s struggling with feelings of anger at her mother, especially when she reflects on times when her mom could have disclosed the truth about who her biological father was.

Before listening to this episode, please note that there is a brief discussion about child sexual abuse that may be upsetting to listeners. If you want to avoid this content, skip over timestamps of approximately 24:00-26:00.

Thank you for sharing your story, Christina.

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As we’ve heard earlier this season, many people within the DNA surprise community saw their test results as mere confirmation of something they’d long suspected. But as heard in this week’s episode, not everyone was able to put their finger on just why they felt different.

Chaya never felt like she fit in with her family. She found solace in music and the friendships she formed in the metal scene during her rebellious teen years. Then one day, during a heated exchange with her parents, her mother revealed that the man she believed was her father was not. She pursued a relationship with the man her mom identified, only to learn even more shocking information about her paternity.

Thank you for sharing your story, Chaya.

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Not every DNA surprise has a happy ending. And sometimes, what seems like a happy ending takes a turn. But the opposite is also true. In this week’s episode, Shannon shares how she learned the truth about her paternity and had to wait several years before she could identify her biological father. When she finally found him, he was receptive, before quickly closing off any hope of a relationship…until he had another change of heart.

Thank you for sharing your story, Shannon.

If you’d like to learn more about Shannon’s therapy practice, visit CreatingSpaceTherapy.com.

If you’ve had a DNA surprise, how many times have you been told you should write a book? This week’s episode is a story that is truly stranger than fiction. Traci shares how, at 19, her mother revealed the truth about her paternity. This truth sent Traci reeling, but her mother insisted that she always knew the truth. Her mom went on to explain the events that led them to that moment. It’s a story straight out of a true crime novel, and Traci didn’t remember any of it.

Traci goes on to share what happened after the revelation, including how she moved forward with her parents, who married a few years after her DNA surprise.

Thank you Traci, for sharing your story.

Resources:

After the Rotting

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When someone uncovers a DNA surprise, their family tree changes. That sounds simple, but the reality is that our roots, so many of the things that make us, us, come from generations before us. In this week’s episode Melissa shares her profound journey after discovering that the man who raised her is not her biological father. 

From uncovering clues in her late grandmother's writings to learning about her biological father's tumultuous past and building new relationships with half-siblings, Melissa delves into the complex emotions and revelations that emerged along the way. Through her genealogical research, Melissa connects with her ancestral roots, understanding more about her family's history and the legacies that shape her identity. 

Thank you for sharing your story, Melissa.

Resources:

Intergenerational trauma. It’s something we talk about a lot here. The most common cycles we discuss are the patterns of keeping secrets and the patterns of shame. In this week’s episode, you will hear a story about a cycle of NPEs. 

When Bobbi became pregnant with her third child, she knew that was not in a position to care for another baby. She relinquished her child to a family member, but kept the specific circumstances around the birth a secret - most people thought she was a surrogate.

Just a couple of years later, Bobbi was shocked when, long before consumer DNA testing, she learned that the man she’d believed was her biological father was not, and that both of her parents knew this secret her entire life.

And then there was one more. Years later, when she took a consumer DNA test, Bobbi uncovered that her mother is also an NPE, upending another long believed story.

I want to especially thank Bobbi for being open about her experience as a mother in this situation. She shares a vulnerable, honest, and empathetic perspective for all of us to consider.

Thanks again to Bobbi for sharing her story.

Bobbi’s Book: Descendant Deception

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What would you do if you found out that your biological father wasn’t the man who raised you, but someone you’d known in the periphery of much of your life? Someone who’d photographed weddings, even done your taxes? In this episode, Beth shares her journey after discovering her biological father was a long-time colleague of her mother.

Beth talks about the strong connections she had with her birth certificate father and who she believed was her paternal grandmother, and the feelings she experienced after learning the truth. She reveals how she’s formed a close relationship with her biological father and maintains a lot of compassion for her mother.

Thank you for sharing your story, Beth.

Do you have a DNA surprise you'd like to share? Submit your story at www.dnasurprises.com.

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When someone opens up their DNA test results, the outcome isn’t always an explosive surprise. Sometimes, it takes a while of pulling at a thread before a truth is unraveled. In this week’s episode, Christine shares how her curiosity about one of her ethnicity results led to her shocking discovery that her dad isn’t her biological father. But in another twist, even after finding out the truth about her paternity, the mystery about her ethnicity remained.

Christine discusses both of these DNA surprises and how they’ve affected her relationships. She also shares how her surprise has transformed her perception of herself, for the positive.

Thank you for sharing your story, Christine.

Welcome to the 100th episode of DNA surprises! OK, technically I’ve had more than 100 episodes already, but this is the 100th DNA Surprise story I’ve had the privilege of sharing with you all.

So, in celebration of 100 episodes, I thought we’d take it allll the way back to the beginning. In this week’s episode, I’m joined once again by Yvette, my very first guest on the podcast. 

I am eternally grateful to those Season 1 guests. They responded to my call for guests with no guarantees on how their stories would be told or where. They trusted me with one of the most difficult experiences of their lives - and that’s where this all began.

If you haven’t yet listened to Yvette’s story, I’ll give you a quick recap here, but I encourage you to pause this episode and go back to Season 1, episode one: Yvette’s DNA Surprise. In our first conversation, Yvette was coming fresh off of her DNA surprise. She’d figured out who her biological father was, and actually remembered meeting him one time in her life before he died. She had connected with her newfound siblings but hadn’t yet had the opportunity to meet them. Yvette had also gone no contact with her mother because of her anger and pain about the secret. 

One of the biggest sources of joy in her story was her ethnic shift, with the discovery of her Sicilian heritage. Yvette felt immediately connected to her ancestors when she learned about this background and immersed herself in learning about the food and culture. One of the biggest sources of her pain is around the missed opportunity to connect with her biological father, who she seemingly shared countless similarities with.

That was nearly two and half years ago, and in this week’s episode, Yvette joined me to share where things are now. She shares how she’s continued to navigate her ethnic shift and build deep connections with her Sicilian roots. She also gives a surprising update on her relationship with her siblings and tells us where things currently stand with her mother. 

Thank you for sharing your story with us again, Yvette.

Do you have a DNA surprise you'd like to share? Submit your story at ⁠www.dnasurprises.com⁠.

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What never fails to surprise me is how innocently DNA surprises begin. In this episode, we hear from Doe - yes, that’s a pseudonym - who uncovered her  DNA surprise in 2021. 

A skillful genealogist, Doe bought a DNA test for her husband, who was curious about his family history. As it just so happened, she purchased the test during a buy one, get one free sale, so she decided to take a test herself. When she received her results, she learned that not only was her birth certificate father not her biological father, but that the story she’d always believed about her mother was false.

In this episode, she shares how the discovery and the continued secrecy have affected her, and how she uses her experience to help others.

Thank you for sharing your story, Doe.

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When people uncover DNA surprises, they are often left to unpack the mysteries themselves. From the who, what, when and where around their births to where their newly identified family members are today, we spend hours searching newspapers, online archives, and obituaries.

Many times, we find what we’re looking for. Sometimes, we don’t. 

In this week’s episode, BettyJo shares how any of her questions remain unanswered. Her mother wouldn’t share many details and their relationship, along with her relationship with her raised siblings, and disintegrated after the discovery.

BettyJo believes her father is from Mexico, where endogamy, the custom of marrying only within the limits of a local community, clan, or tribe, is common. This makes locating specific people tricky.

BettyJo shares how she’s managed losing the close relationship she once had with her mother, as well as how she’s coping with so many unknowns.

Thank you for sharing your story, BettyJo.   

Michael had been told he didn't look related to his family his entire life, so when his sisters asked him to take a DNA test for fun, he knew the truth was going to be revealed.
In this episode, Michael shares his quest for answers despite both of his biological parents having Alzheimer's. He is also candid about his struggles with mental health in general and in light of his discovery.
Thanks to Michael for sharing his story.

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Whitney's mom told her the truth about her biological father long before she took a DNA test. She learned the truth at 14, 6 years after the tragic loss of the man she believed was her father.
In this episode, Whitney shares the long and winding road to connect to her biological father. She offers a compassionate view on the choices the adults in her life made and how those choices affected her.
Thank you to Whitney for sharing her story.

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In this episode, Kristin shares her NPE journey after discovering the truth just four months prior to our conversation. She was completely blindsided by the discovery and shares her shock and confusion over what to do next.
She also discusses the new family connections she's made so far while expressing some concern about her raised father's feelings.
Thanks to Kristin for sharing her story.

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In this week’s episode, Lisa reveals how her DNA test uncovered not one, not two, but three NPEs in her family. She shares how her NPE status affected her childhood before she even knew it. Lisa also shares the positive aspects of connecting with her newfound family.

Thanks to Lisa for sharing her story. 

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In this week’s episode, Jessica shares how her NPE discovery unfolded. She discusses how it’s affected her relationship with her raised family and how she is trying to learn about her biological father, a man she was aware of while growing up.

One of the things that struck me most about Jessica’s story is how much it reflects the effects COVID 19 on DNA surprises. From delayed opportunities to connect with family to deaths preventing NPEs from getting the answers they so badly want, the pandemic has changed the trajectory of many journeys.
Thanks to Jessica for sharing her story.

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While a DNA surprise can be a painful and traumatic experience, some NPEs are able to find a silver lining through beautiful new relationships. In this week's episode Rose shares her journey from feeling disconnected from her raised family to establishing a connection with her biological father.
Thanks to Rose for sharing her story.

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Welcome to the season 1 finale of DNA Surprises. In this week’s episode, I am going to share my story. In July, I found out that I am an NPE. I was completely blindsided by not only that discovery but a massive shift in racial identity. I’m going to discuss what my discovery was like and how I’ve processed what happened. I’ll also talk about what has helped me heal so far.

Thank you for listening to my story.

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Surprise! It’s a bonus episode. In recognition of DNA Day, on April 25, we’re dropping a special episode with author Leeanne R. Hay, who recently released her book NPE* A story guide for unexpected DNA discoveries.

In this episode, we take a deeper dive into some of the things Leeanne wrote about, from why she wrote the book to NPEs in the media to how consumer DNA testing companies should be held accountable to their customers. 

You can buy her book here:
United States

• Amazon (affiliate link)
• Barnes & Noble/NOOK https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/npe-a-story-guide-for-unexpected-dna-discoveries-leeanne-r-hay/1140515101?ean=2940160967967
• APPLE Books https://books.apple.com/us/book/id1603767471'
• Rakuten/KOBO  https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/npe-a-story-guide-for-unexpected-dna-discoveries

International

• Amazon/KINDLE United Kingdom https://www.amazon.co.uk/story-guide-unexpected-discoveries-non-paternity-ebook/dp/B09PZ7KNZ6/ref=sr_1_1
• Amazon/KINDLE Australia https://www.amazon.com.au/story-guide-unexpected-discoveries-non-paternity-ebook/dp/B09PZ7KNZ6/ref=sr_1_1
• Amazon/KINDLE Canada https://www.amazon.ca/story-guide-unexpected-discoveries-non-paternity-ebook/dp/B09PZ7KNZ6/ref=sr_1_1  

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Welcome to season 2 of DNA Surprises! In this week’s episode, we’ll hear Gretchen’s NPE story.

Like many of our stories, Gretchen’s DNA surprise includes many people, and it can be difficult to understand the roles of everyone involved, so before we begin I want to give some background.

Before her DNA surprise, Gretchen believed she was the youngest of 3 children. It turns out that Gretchen’s biological father had two children before her - he had a daughter, Barbara, in his first marriage. Then he had her brother, Jimmy, in his second marriage. He abandoned both families and had an affair with Gretchen’s mother, which is how Gretchen came to be. After his relationship with Gretchen’s mom ended, Gretchen’s mother returned to her birth certificate father while pregnant with her.

Gretchen’s father remarried and had two more children. He is still with his third wife today. While all of the children involved know about each other, his third wife does not. Gretchen and her two older siblings remain secrets. Gretchen’s story is painful and complicated. She speaks about how she always felt different and how she feels knowing the truth.
Thanks to Gretchen for sharing her story.

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In this week's episode, Cara shares an NPE story with lots of twists and turns. She tells us how she found out about her NPE and the journey to finding her biological father. She also shares how her new relationships are forming and how this process has affected her relationship with her BCF (birth certificate father) and mother.
Thanks to Cara for sharing her story.

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In this week's episode, Charlotte shares her journey as both an adoptee and NPE. Charlotte always knew she was adopted. Her parents were always open with her and she never wanted to seek out her birth parents. After taking a 23&Me test to learn her health history, she was surprised to realize that it also connected her with DNA matches.
She shares how she found her birth parents, how this process affected her relationship with her raised parents, and what she's learned about her family and herself throughout this process.
Thanks to Charlotte for sharing her story.

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Michael Paul always felt different from his family. He was treated differently than his two younger brothers and went through multiple periods of estrangement from his raised parents. In this week’s episode, he shares how he finally learned the truth through a consumer DNA testing kit.

He tells us how he connected with his biological dad and why he made the difficult decision to ultimately go no contact with his raised family.

Thanks to Michael Paul for sharing his story.

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In this week’s episode, Kara shares her donor conceived journey. Kara’s parents told her and her twin sister that they were conceived with a donor egg when they were 10 years old. The family never really spoke about it again.

Kara shares how she connected with her bio mom, how she feels about donor conception, and what steps would make donor conception more ethical today.

Thanks for sharing your story, Kara.
You can follow Kara on Instagram at @kara_donorconceived

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When Mark received a call from who he believed was a new-found half-sibling, he wasn't surprised. Little did he know that this revelation would lead him to his own NPE journey. In this week's episode, Mark shares how he uncovered his truth, how he connected with his family, and how he finds peace with his mother, who died before he could speak to her about his DNA surprise. He also offers valuable advice to parents and NPEs, particularly to men.
Thanks to Mark for sharing his story.

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Some DNA surprise stories are harder to unravel than others. When Linda found out about her NPE, she was nearly 60 years old and both her mother and birth certificate father had passed. In this week's episode, Linda shares how she was able to track down the identity of her biological father despite genealogical challenges such as endogamy, (the custom of marrying only within the limits of a local community, clan, or tribe).

I also want to add a quick content warning for this episode. Because Linda can't ask any of her parents about her conception, she does not know if she was the result of a consensual relationship or sexual assault, and she mentions this. If you have experienced sexual abuse, please contact the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-4673 for support.
Thanks to Linda for sharing her story. 

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NPEs, DCPs, and adoptees aren’t the only people who experience DNA Surprises. Found family has them, too. This week, Dori shared her surprise at being contacted by a sibling she never knew existed.

Dori also shares her experience growing up with family secrets, especially her life being raised by a lesbian couple. 
I’m excited to release this episode during pride month because it demonstrates how far we’ve come in destigmatizing LGBTQI families. I look forward to the day when we see families for what they are - families, each with as much nuance as anyone else’s.

Thanks to Dori for sharing her story.

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Have you ever wondered about the first NPEs who found out through commercial DNA tests? In this week’s episode, Annie shares how she began her journey a decade ago.

She shares how she figured out who her father is and how she has made connections with her found family. She also offers her perspective on her mother’s choice.

Thank you to Annie for sharing her story.

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Welcome to a bonus episode of DNA Surprises, a crossover with Everything’s Relative with Eve Sturges! In this episode, we chat about our own NPE stories, the importance of humor throughout our journeys, and why we started our podcasts.

I also share something I’ve never shared before - that I’ve been on the other side of a DNA surprise.

Thanks to Eve for collaborating with me on this episode and thank you for listening!
Listen to Everything's Relative with Eve Sturges.
Buy Who Even Am I Anymore?

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Layla always knew that she was adopted by family. She also knew both of her birth parents, or so she thought.

In this week’s episode, Layla shares how she discovered she is an NPE and what she had to do to identify her biological father. Layla also discusses the many nuances of discovering a new ethnicity.

Thank you for sharing your story, Layla.

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Kristin had no idea her NPE was coming, let alone the secrets she’d uncover because of her DNA surprise. Not only did she discover that she is an NPE – she learned that her sister is, too.

In this week’s episode, Kristin explains how she’s worked through rejection from her found family and estrangement from her raised family. She also shares her own regret over taking the test in the first place.

Thank you for sharing your story, Kristin.

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Welcome to the season 2 finale of DNA Surprises. In this week’s episode, Jennifer shares her NPE story. While she was never close to her birth certificate father, she was blindsided when she put the pieces together after taking a DNA test.

Jennifer shares how her discovery has made an impact on her relationships and how she’s buildling a relationship with biological father.

Thanks to Jennifer for sharing her story. You can hear more from Jennifer at her podcast, Unfinished Truths. 

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Welcome to Season 3 of DNA Surprises. In the season premier, Ashley shares her double NPE journey. 

First, a content warning: due to the circumstances of Ashley’s conception, there is a lengthy discussion of rape and sexual assault. There are also mentions of childhood sexual abuse. If you or anyone you know are a victim of rape or sexual abuse, please call:

National Sexual Assault Hotline

1-800-656-4673

Ashley took her DNA test for health reasons, and was completely blindsided when she learned her raised father is not her bio dad. In this episode, she shares how she is processing two different versions of how she was conceived. Her mother says that she was raped - her father says it was a night of passion. She also shares how her discovery has affected her immediate family.

I also want to note that these conversations are difficult, especially in the DNA surprise community. 

Thank you for sharing your story, Ashley.

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Sometimes DNA surprises reveal that bio fathers are people known to the NPE, however unexpected. In this week's episode, Devin shares how a DNA test revealed that he is one of more than a dozen children - some of his siblings old enough to be his grandparent. He shares how he’s connected with those siblings, and how his discovery has affected his relationship with his mother. Thanks for sharing your story, Devin.
Thank you for sharing your story, Devin.

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One of the most interesting things about the DNA surprise community is how much intersection there is between adoptees, donor-conceived people, and NPEs. In this week’s episode, Hayley, who was one of the first people conceived through IVF in the UK, shares her NPE story. While she knew from a young age that she was conceived through IVF, it wasn’t until she was in her 30s that she learned her raised father is not her genetic parent. 

As a DCP, Hayley has a unique perspective as she embarked on her own parenting journey with her wife. She shares how being donor-conceived affects how she discusses the topic with her twins and what regulations are and should be in place for DCPs worldwide. 

Thanks to Hayley for sharing her story.  You can follow Hayley at @dcp_journey_2_rp on IG.

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NPEs come from all backgrounds, but all too often, the stories we hear involve childhood abuse. In this week’s episode, Bianca shares her difficult journey to finding out that she is an NPE. First, a content warning: Bianca’s story includes discussion of drug use, rape, and abuse, and is not suitable for all listeners.

If you or anyone you know are a victim of rape or sexual assault, please call the National Sexual Abuse Hotline at 1-800-656-4673.
SAHMSA: 1-800-662-4357
ChildHelp: 1-800-422-4453
Thanks to Bianca for sharing her story. You can read her memoir at https://amzn.to/3UHTgr5 (affiliate link).

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DNA Surprises aren’t limited to NPEs. In this week’s episode, Debbie shares how she always knew she was adopted, and later learned her biological father was dead. Little did she know that a consumer DNA test would change everything. Debbie shares what’s been helpful to her throughout her journey and how she’s used her own experience to help others.

On that note, please stay tuned until the very end of this episode, when Debbie and I share a very special announcement. You don’t want to miss it!
Follow Debbie at @dnasurprisenetwork.

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The DNA Surprise community is very familiar with shame and stigma. this week’s episode tackles a taboo subject.

Shardae took her DNA test for the same reason many Americans do - out of curiosity about her family’s indigenous ties. What she uncovered is that her birth certificate father is not her biological father - she is the product of a one-time encounter between her mother and her mother’s first cousin.
Shardae talks about how she’s navigating this information and processing the stigma around her origin story.
Thanks to Shardae for sharing her story.

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One of the things we talk about often within the DNA Surprise community is the ripple effect. Surprises don't only affect NPEs, donor-conceived people, and adoptees - they affect their parents, their children, friends, spouses, and other family members.

In this week’s episode, Kim shares how she helped uncover the complicated story of her Granda Mary, who had several NPE children. She discusses what steps she took to put the pieces together and how her work has affected her relationship with her dad.

Thanks to Kim for sharing her story.

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Welcome to a bonus episode of DNA Surprises! I had the privilege of speaking with Kara and Alesia from Right to Know about all of the amazing work they do for the MPE, DCP, and adoptee communities. 

They also share some exciting news about their upcoming Untangling Our Roots Summit. The event is scheduled for March 30-April 1 and tickets are on sale now!

I’ll be there for the podcasters meet and greet as well as participating in a panel alongside Eve Sturges from Everything’s Relative and Lily Wood of NPE Stories. I’m also looking forward to attending some sessions on boundary setting and ethnicity shifts. 

What’s more - Debbie from DNA Surprise Network and co-founder of the DNA Surprise Retreat is also attending! We hope you’ll come hang out with us. 

You can register for the the Untangling Our Roots Summit at untanglingourroots.org
Facebook Groups:

• DNA Identity Surprise & this MPE Life (sponsored by RTK)
• MPE Cross-Cultural Connections from a DNA Surprise (sponsored by RTK)
• MPE Jewish Identity & DNA Surprises (sponsored by RTK)

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DNA surprises are often bittersweet. The results we receive via consumer DNA testing can lead to upset and confusion, but they also can answer long-held questions and lay the foundation for new relationships.

In this week’s episode, Bonnie shares how she always knew that she didn’t know her father, but once she started searching, she found answers she didn’t expect. Her journey to identifying her biological father includes many twists and turns. She shares how she was able to track down her bio dad with the support of a search angel and how her discovery has affected her relationship with her mother.

Thanks to Bonnie for sharing her story.

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In this week’s episode of DNA Surprises, Karen shares what’s happened since she last shared her DNA surprise story. You can hear the first part of her story on Lily Wood’s podcast, NPE Stories - Karen C’s story. 

As a quick content warning, there is a brief mention of suicide and some discussion about heavy alcohol use.
Karen shares how she found her biological father, someone she actually remembers when she was young. She also uncovered multiple NPEs on her bio dad’s side of the family. She shares how she’s made peace with her mother and advice for anyone in this position.
Thank you for sharing your story, Karen.

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Not every DNA surprise is filled with trauma and upset. In this week’s episode, Guy joins me for a delightful conversation about his NPE discovery. He discusses why he always felt like he didn’t fit in and the other reasons he attributed to his outsider status in his family.

He shares why he feels vindicated and relieved to learn that he is an NPE and how he’s tackling his case like a detective. 

Thank you for sharing your story, Guy.

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DNA surprises are often uncovered after innocent intentions. When Stacy’s daughter decided to take a DNA test to learn more about her father’s side of the family because he was adopted, she didn’t suspect that she’d uncover her mother’s NPE.

Stacy shares how she always felt different from her family and how she is forging new relationships with her biological father, step-mom, and newfound sisters. She also discusses how her discovery has affected her relationship with her mother.

Thank you for sharing your story, Stacy.

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Welcome to the Season 3 finale of DNA surprises. In this week’s episode, Kiara Rae Schuh shares her journey as she connected with her fellow donor-conceived siblings and eventually, her donor.

Kiara discusses the importance of her chosen family, which is also the name of her brand new book, and how her mother’s openness about using assisted reproduction informs her views of donor conception and family structures. She also reveals a DNA surprise that she didn’t see coming.

Thanks to Kiara for sharing her story.
Click here to purchase Chosen Family.

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Welcome to Season 4 of DNA Surprises. In our first episode of the season, Natalie shares her NPE story. When Natalie experienced her surprise, she had no idea that she was uncovering her mother’s decade’s-long secret about Natalie and her brother.

So many of us are desperate for answers when we first uncover a DNA surprise. Natalie’s story perfectly captures how we often learn more and more truths as time passes. 
Thanks to Natalie for sharing her story.

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Every DNA surprise is unique and layered, and this is especially true for those who have major shifts in ethnicity. In this week’s episode, Robin shares her NPE journey, which began more than a decade ago.

Robin was always proud of her blackness. But when she made her discovery, she not only learned that her dad is not her biological father, but that her biological father is white—and racist. She shares how her discovery has affected her sense of self and her relationships.

Thank you for sharing your story, Robin.

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In this very special bonus episode of DNA Surprises, I’m joined by Megan Irwin, who will be facilitating a session on Trauma at the DNA Surprise Retreat. Megan is a licensed therapist specializing in grief and loss, trauma/PTSD, and associated challenges. She serves as a compassionate witness and guide for her clients’ healing and personal growth. 
Megan will facilitate a session called “Big T, Little t” on how DNA surprise traumas affect our bodies and minds. She’ll also empower us with tools to manage the big feelings we experience following our surprises.
In our conversation, we discuss what trauma is, why there are different labels for trauma, and recommendations for coping. She even shows me how to be more compassionate for myself in my own healing journey - we all have things to learn. 

Resources:
Right to Know
NPE Friends
MPE Counseling Collective
NAMI

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How would you feel if you learned that your biological father was a constant presence in your life, despite being raised under the belief that another man shared your DNA?

In this week’s episode, Shannon shares how she learned that her biological father was a longtime family friend who even taught her how to tie her shoes.

I spoke with Shannon just four months after her DNA surprise. She offers a fresh perspective on the immediate aftermath of a discovery, including what she’s doing to process and how she’s learning more about her newfound biological family.

Thank you for sharing your story, Shannon.
Resources (affiliate link):
Who Even Am I Anymore? 

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This week’s story tells not one, but two, shocking DNA discoveries. Growing up, Phil believed that the parents who raised him were his biological parents. As a child, he learned that his biological mother abandoned him and he was raised by his stepmother. Decades later, he learned that his raised father isn’t his biological parent, either.

This episode contains references to suicide, child abuse, and child sexual abuse. If you are struggling with thoughts of self-harm, please call or text 988. If you are a victim of child sexual abuse, please call RAINN at 800-656-HOPE.

Thank you, Phil, for sharing your story.

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DNA surprises often shake the very core of what we believe our identities to be. In this week’s episode, Laurie shares how she went from believing she was the only child of two concentration camp survivors of the Holocaust to learning she is one of at least 6 siblings - half of whom were born as the result of assisted reproduction.

Laurie always knew her parents went to a fertility doctor but she had no idea that she was donor conceived. She shares how she learned of her donor conception, who she has connected with, and how this has changed her perspective on her parents and identity - in primarily positive ways.

Thank you for sharing your story, Laurie.

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In this very special bonus episode of DNA Surprises, I’m joined by Jennifer Spencer, who is facilitating a session on Radical Acceptance at the DNA Surprise Retreat. 

Jennifer is a licensed professional counselor who works with people who want to make lasting change for themselves to better their relationships, enjoy life, and make an overall life worth living. She specializes in DBT, CBT, ACT, and EMDR.

In our discussion, we chat about what Radical Acceptance is - and is not, and why it’s important in our DNA surprise journey.

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One of the things people in the DNA surprise community contend with is that we’ll never have all of the answers to our questions.

In this week’s episode, Debra shares her story. She grew up with her mother and stepfather and was largely estranged from the man she believed to be her father. After reconnecting and building a relationship, she learned that the man on her birth certificate is not biologically related to her.

Debra shares how she uncovered the truth, what she’s learned so far, and how she’s moving forward without being able to get all of the answers.

Thank you for sharing your story, Debra. 

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Oftentimes in the DNA surprise community, one NPE leads to another. In this week’s episode, Scarlett shares how she learned she was an NPE, only to learn that the man her mother identified wasn’t her biological father, either.

She tells us about her tumultuous upbringing, how her relationship with her raised family and newfound family is progressing, and how she tackled processing her DNA surprise.

I spoke with Scarlett in July of last year, just a short time after her discovery in March. Stay tuned for an update from Scarlett at the end of the episode.

Thank you for sharing your story, Scarlett.

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Sometimes DNA surprises aren’t surprising at all, but validating. 

In this week’s episode, Kim shares how she learned that after feeling different from her family her entire life, she is not genetically related to her raised father. She also learned that she isn’t white as she believed, but descends from a large Mexican family.

She shares how she’s processing her surprise and connecting with her family.

After my interview with Kim, she decided to turn her DNA surprise into support for others. At the end of the episode, we reconnect to discuss what’s changed for her and what’s she doing now.

Thanks again to Kim for sharing her story. If you’re interested in learning more about Kim’s work visit: kimmillertraumacoaching.com.

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Welcome to a bonus episode of DNA surprises. In this episode, I’m joined by Jennica Klemann, an Advanced Certified Grief Recovery Specialist and Arizona Licensed Massage Therapist. She specializes in a variety of losses including death, divorce, loss of health, child loss, pet loss, and complicated familial dynamics, just to name a few. Jennica is facilitating a session on grief at the DNA surprise retreat.

In this episode, we discuss the different kinds of grief, misconceptions about grief, and how we can begin to integrate grief into our lives. Grief is a huge part of the DNA surprise journey. I hope you find this information helpful.

Thanks again to Jennica for joining me. Jennica offers free consultations to anyone interested in doing grief work with her - visit griefreliefwithjennica.com for more information.

And if you’re interested in gaining some tools to work through grief loss in a space with people who have similar experiences, join us at the DNA Surprise Retreat - May 4-7 in Tucson, AZ.

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When people experience DNA surprises, the range of emotions they feel can be wide. There’s sadness. There’s confusion. There’s happiness, sometimes. And often, there is anger. 

In this week’s episode, Aly shares how she felt when she learned that her birth certificate father isn’t her biological father and that she was born after a years-long affair between her mother and a colleague. She discusses how it’s been difficult to get the truth from her mother, how her relationship with her biological father isn’t want she hoped it would be, and how she discovered that her birth certificate father also knew the truth for decades.

Thank you, Aly, for sharing your story.

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DNA surprises can cause major disruptions to our interpersonal relationships, particularly the bonds we have with our raised parents. But often what most affects those relationships isn’t the surprises themselves, but how people act afterward.
In this episode, Stacy shares how she uncovered not one, but two NPEs throughout her life. She shares how she’s built amazing relationships with her newfound family and how things have unfortunately deteriorated with her mother. 
At the very end of this episode, Stacy graciously shares the letter that she wrote her mother in its entirety–and her mother’s response.
Thank you, Stacy, for sharing your story.

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Welcome to a bonus episode of DNA surprises. In this episode, I’m joined by Lindsay Johnson, a registered nurse, board-certified nurse coach, and integrative health coach who cares for the caregiver through stress, burnout, and trauma healing. She utilizes various methodologies in her practice, including mindful listening, transformative coaching, somatic experience and trauma healing, mindfulness, HeartMath, and gentle accountability. 

Lindsay helps her clients reconnect to themselves and their bodies, become more aware and mindful of their coping mechanisms, access their courage and inner wisdom, and shed old habits in order to make way for more self-compassion and love.

In her session, “Let it RAIN: Recognize, Allow, Investigate, and Nurture,” Lindsay will teach us how self-compassion is a vital portion of the healing process for DNA surprises. 
In this episode, we discuss what RAIN is, why self-compassion is so important, and how we can come home to ourselves.
You can learn more about Lindsay at: https://catalina-wellness.com/. 

Thanks again to Lindsay for joining me! If you're interested in learning more about how to nurture yourself through a DNA surprise, join us at the DNA surprise retreat - May 4-7 in Tucson, AZ.

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Sometimes DNA surprises lead to flourishing relationships with newfound family, but sometimes they do not. In this week’s episode, Angie shares how a comment from her birth certificate father’s wife revealed a non-paternal event. 

She discusses how she identified her biological father with the help of DNAngels and her disappointment at his unwillingness to build a relationship. Angie also shares how she reached a place of compassion for him and his family, as well as her mother.

Thank you, Angie, for sharing your story.

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Welcome to a bonus episode of DNA Surprises. Christine Wolf is a Chicago-based author and writing coach whose focus is on memoir and biography. Her award-winning work is regularly featured in national newspapers, magazines, and on live storytelling stages. 

Through her compassionate and trauma-informed approach, Wolf empowers writers and non-writers alike to find their authentic voices. In 2018, Wolf lost a younger sister suddenly; in 2022, thanks to a home DNA kit, she discovered an older sister they never knew existed. 

Christine will facilitate a session at DNA Surprise Retreat - “Write-to-Heal" is an empowering, flexible, and compassionate exploration of therapeutic (cathartic) journaling as a tool to help document your story and aid true healing. 

In this episode, we discuss Christine’s personal experience with DNA surprises, how writing is a proven healing tool, and why you don’t have to be a “good writer” to reap its benefits. My conversation with Christine inspired me to get started on my own story–I hope it moves you to do the same. We all have stories to tell!

Thanks again to Christine for joining me! If you’d like to join us for her Write to Heal session, reserve your space at the DNA surprise retreat - May 4-7 in Tucson, AZ.
Christine Wolf

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Welcome to the season 4 finale of DNA Surprises. 

One of the things I’ve observed throughout my conversations within this community is that NPEs often explain away confusing details about their conception or births because we trust our parents. We believe what we’re told. In this week’s episode, Sam explains how she always felt different from her sisters and raised her father but trusted what her mother told her.

Eventually, she uncovers a mystery with multiple possible biological fathers. Sam shares how she found her biological father’s identity (with the help of DNAngels) and how she’s connecting with her newfound family, even though he died just 18 months before she identified him.

At the end of the episode, Sam joined me for an update on how her journey is going.

Thanks to Sam for sharing her story, and thank you to everyone who joined me for Season 4: Natalie, Robin, Shannon, Phil, Laurie, Debra, Scarlett, Kim, Aly, Stacy, Angie, and Sam. Your bravery in sharing your stories helps others feel less alone - including me.

That’s all for season 4, but we’ll be back in May with season 5. 

Thank you for listening. Until next time.

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Welcome to a bonus episode of DNA Surprises! Today I am joined by my good friend and co-founder of the DNA Surprise Retreat, Debbie Olson. Debbie is a Certified Life Coach and founder of DNA Surprise Network. She helps others navigate life’s path after having a DNA Surprise, having experienced one of her own. She enjoys using her skills of empathy, understanding, and communication with her coaching clients. 
In Debbie’s session at the DNA Surprise Retreat, “What’s Next?” she’ll talk about building on our strengths, the power we already have, and the next right moves to keep practicing after the retreat.
In today’s episode, we talk about what a life coach does, how it’s different than therapy, and why there is room for both. We also discuss how coaching can help people navigate a DNA surprise by using their existing strengths and emotions to help them move forward.
Stay tuned to the end of the episode where Debbie makes a special offer for podcast listeners!
To schedule a session with Debbie, email debbie@dnasurprisenetwork.com.

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Welcome to Season 5 of DNA Surprises. In the first episode of the season, Christa shares her NPE story. 
Christa always knew that something wasn’t quite right because she looked different from her family. 
When she got the results of her 23&Me test, she learned that her biological father wasn’t who she expected, and neither was her ethnicity. Christa talks about how she’s navigated building relationships with her newfound family and connecting to her Moroccan Jewish heritage. She also discusses the challenges she faces because her mother died shortly after her DNA surprise.
Thanks to Christa for sharing her story.

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Content Warning: Please note that there are references to suicide in this story. If you are experiencing thoughts of self-harm, please contact an emergency or mental health professional. If you’re in the US, you can call or text 988.

Sometimes DNA discoveries occur without the aid of a DNA test. In this week’s episode, Jen shares how her mother revealed the truth about her paternity after a near-death experience. After locating her new-found family, she confirmed her biological father’s identity through DNA testing. 

Jen shares a story of generational trauma, estrangement, and hope for the future. She talks about how she finds a connection to her family in this world and beyond and why accountability is so important for our parents.

Thanks to Jen for sharing her story.

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When an NPE connects with newfound family and begins building positive relationships, many people consider it to be a success story. Sometimes, though, relationships take a turn, and rejection happens further into the relationship.

In this week’s episode, Kimberly shares how she uncovered her DNA surprise and connected with her biological father. She also discusses her surprise when, 18 months into what she thought was a wonderful relationship, he abruptly changed his feelings toward her.

She talks about how she’s working through this change in her DNA Surprise journey and which relationships she still holds dear.

Thanks to Kimberly for sharing her story.

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What’s in a name?

For people who have experienced a DNA surprise, a whole lot.

In this week's episode, Morgan shares his DNA surprise story as the child of an adoptee. He describes how he first found his biological grandmother before the days of the internet and later found his biological grandfather’s family with the help of commercial DNA testing.

He also explains why changing his name to that of his well-known paternal side made sense to him—even though it led to estrangement from his raised family.

Thanks to Morgan for sharing his story.

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DNA surprises are, by definition, surprises, but sometimes there are murmurs and suspicions long before a DNA test confirms the truth. In this week’s episode, Liann shares how she uncovered her mother’s secret long before she took a test.

She talks about how she’s navigated her journey so far, including rejection from her biological father. She also reflects on how her admiration for her raised father has only grown in light of her DNA surprise.

Thanks to Liann for sharing her story.

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In many cultures, kinship adoption is commonplace. Sometimes children grow up knowing they were adopted by a grandparent, aunt, uncle, or other extended family members. For people like Mark, this information comes as a surprise.

In this week’s episode, Mark shares how he discovered that his mother is actually his grandmother and his sister is actually his mother. While he doesn’t describe his surprise as traumatic, he discusses how it felt to learn that many of his family members kept this secret. He also shares how he’s connecting to his newfound Italian heritage.

Thanks to Mark for sharing his story.

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When the parents in a DNA surprise story are no longer alive to answer questions, their children are left to investigate. In this week’s episode Shari discusses her NPE discovery, including the months of painstaking research she did while trying to identify her biological father.

Shari talks about how she put the pieces together, why she views her surprise as a blessing, and why she has empathy for her mother. She also discusses her book, My Family Tree, Taken to the Grave, and how writing her story was therapeutic for her.

Thanks to Shari for sharing her story.

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Before we begin this week’s episode, we have a content warning. There are multiple references to child abuse, including sexual abuse, in this story. 

When some people experience DNA surprises, the initial shock and grief just scratch the surface of the emotions that arise. In this week’s episode, Caroline shares how she discovered that her birth certificate father is not her biological father.

This discovery brought up memories and emotions that she’d pushed to the back of her mind long ago. Caroline discusses how she’s processing this new information and building a connection with her newfound family. She also shares why she’s glad that she shares her DNA with her biological father instead of her BCF.
Thanks to Caroline for sharing her story.

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Many folks who experience a DNA surprise share a feeling of being the black sheep of their family - of never quite fitting in, and in some cases, being actively ostracized by their family of origin. In this week’s episode, Penny shares her complicated family history and why her NPE validated her outsider status within the family.

She reflects on the gaslighting and neglect she experienced as a child, and how she uncovered the truth with the power of her own intuition. 

Thanks to Penny for sharing her story.

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Before we begin this episode, a content warning: there is a brief mention of suicidal ideation in this story.

Parenting while navigating a DNA surprise journey can be an extremely difficult task. In this week’s episode, Shelly shares how she not only uncovered that her raised dad was not her biological father, but that she is also ethnically Jewish. 

She discusses many challenges we haven’t dived into on the podcast before, from how the DNA surprise affected her son, to the unexpected financial implications of a shocking discovery. 

Thank you for sharing your story, Shelly.

Shelly’s NPE Stories episode

Links to some of her work about DNA surprises:

• https://www.nextavenue.org/donor-conception-in-the-spotlight/
• https://severancemag.com/what-i-hope-my-son-and-i-learn-from-my-npe-experience/
• https://severancemag.com/the-anniversaries-we-dont-expect/ 
• https://www.scarymommy.com/genetic-test-rocks-your-storyline
• https://www.jewishaz.com/community/my-surprising-jewish-family-tree/article_2beac79e-f6d1-11eb-bf79-4b05d736e1c8.html

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Sometimes the connections that we make on our DNA surprise journeys extend beyond immediate family - and sometimes, they’re beyond ourselves. In this week’s episode, Chris shares how his quest to find his biological father connected other family members with each other.

He discusses how he finally found out who his biological father is and how never knowing his father as a child affected him.

Thanks to Chris for sharing his story. 

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Welcome to the Season 5 finale of DNA Surprises. 

In this week’s episode, Josie shares a DNA surprise that doesn’t come as the result of a test she took, but of her own revelation well into her twenties. She always knew that she was donor conceived and raised by a single mother, but it wasn’t until she had her son that she wanted to find her sperm donor.

Josie shares why she wanted to seek out her donor and what she hopes to gain from their future relationship. Her story ends on a cliffhanger - listen to the end of the episode for an update directly from her.

Thanks to Josie for sharing her story.
Resources:
www.dnangels.org
https://donorconceivedcommunity.org/

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Welcome to Season 6 of DNA Surprises. We’re kicking off this season with a quadruple DNA surprise story as told by triplets.

Rikki, Julianne, and Kendall are donor-conceived triplets who were separated at birth. Rikki was raised by her biological mother and who she believed was her biological father. Jules and Kendall were raised together by their adoptive parents.

Rikki knew about her sisters but didn’t know she was donor-conceived until after her dad died. Meanwhile, Julianne and Kendall knew they were donor-conceived, but didn’t know about Rikki until they were older.

In this episode, they share how they connected with each other and built a relationship. Rikki discusses her determination to learn more about their donor and what happened as a result.

We also chat about how complicated all of this is - adoption, donor conception, and DNA surprises, and why it’s important to allow space for every individual to own their feelings.

Rikki, Jules, and Kendall share their story in depth on Season 1 of their podcast, Luke Who Is Your Father. Their next season shares other stories, including mine. You can find Luke Who Is Your Father on all streaming platforms.

Thank you to the Luke Who Is Your Father ladies for sharing your story.

You can find more about Luke Who Is Your Father at www.lukewhoisyourfather.com.

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DNA tests. NPE. Donor conception. Politics. In this week’s episode of DNA Surprises, I’m joined by Eric, who learned that he was donor-conceived after taking a 23andMe test.

He shares why he decided to take the test, why he waited three years before doing anything with his surprising results, and how his discovery impacted his relationship with his parents. He also shares how he has connected with his newfound siblings and the larger DCP community.
Towards the end of the episode, Eric provides us with a quick history lesson on the origins of donor conception, so be sure to listen.

Thanks to Eric for sharing his story.
Resources:

• Donor Conceived Community
• Donor Conceived Council (US)
• We Are Donor Conceived

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When Michelle took her DNA test, she wasn’t looking for her own biological father. In fact, she hoped to answer some questions about her mother’s NPE. You can imagine her shock when she discovered that her mother wasn’t the only NPE - Michelle was too. She also learned that her biological father is a man she fondly remembered from her childhood.

Michelle discusses how her DNA surprise has affected her and her family, as well as how she is building a relationship with her biological father after all these years. She also shares how, long before she knew about her own NPE, she knew it was important to disclose to her son that the man who raised him is not his biological father. 

Thank you for sharing your story, Michelle.

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What is more shocking than one NPE discovery? Two NPE discoveries. In this week’s episode, Pam shares how she spent 20 years believing that her biological father wasn’t her “dad,"  but another man with whom she had a strained relationship.

Imagine her surprise when, after the invention of commercial DNA tests, she uncovered another truth - that her biological father was someone else entirely.

Pam shares how differently she handled her first NPE versus her second, and why she’s chosen to make peace with her discoveries instead of feeling angry about them. 

Thank you Pam, for sharing your story.

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This week’s DNA surprise story is told from a side we haven’t heard from yet - a found father. When Gerard received an email from a man claiming to be his son, he wasn’t sure what to think. He soon discovered that unbeknownst to him, he was the father of a 30-something-year-old man who had been adopted as an infant.

Gerard shares how he pieced together who the mother of his son was and how he reconnected with her. He also discusses how supportive his wife and daughters have been as he builds a relationship with his son.

Gerard’s story is one that many in the DNA surprise community hope for - he’s accepting, open, and seeks to understand how to best fit into his son’s life.

Thank you for sharing your story, Gerard.

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Something we unfortunately hear too often in our community is that NPEs were treated differently as children. In this week’s story, Nina shares how her DNA surprise explained why her mother treated her poorly her entire life. 

She also discusses how her newfound connections are going and how she is working to accept that she may never find answers. 

Thank you for sharing your story, Nina.

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If you’re familiar with other DNA surprise podcasts, this week’s guest needs no introduction. And if you aren’t allow me to introduce you to Lily Wood, host of NPE Stories. Lily started NPE Stories after experiencing her own NPE in 2019. She is a strong presence in our community, a bonafide truth-teller, and I call her one of the OGs in this space. 

She joined me to talk about her DNA surprise and how it has affected her life. Lily offers a vulnerable and transparent look at what happens when the relationships in our lives aren’t what we hoped to be, and how we can create our own families where there is none. 

Thank you, Lily, for sharing your story.

Resources:

• NPE Stories
• Severance Magazine
• NPE Guide by Gina Daniel and Richard Wenzel
• Inheritance by Dani Shapiro

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Not many of us experience our DNA surprises on television, but this week’s guest did exactly that. Patrice is a foundling adoptee, adopted at just a few months old after being abandoned in a garbage bin. She always knew she was adopted, but as an adult, she decided she wanted to look for her biological family.

The TLC show Long Lost Family shows her finding her biological sister, but much more happened behind the scenes. She shares what happened when she reunited with her biological mother and how it changed her perspective on her story. 

She also discusses how she’s used her experiences to advocate and provide support for her community.

Thank you for sharing your story, Patrice.

Resources:

Adoptee Prayer Collective 

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Welcome to a bonus episode of DNA Surprises. Michael Paul first joined me in Season 2, shortly after his discovery. In this bonus episode, Michael shares an update on what's happened in his life since we last spoke. He shares his journey of discovering the importance of self-care and setting boundaries after a DNA surprise.
He also discusses his evolving relationship with his bio dad and the challenges he faces, along with the positive changes he's made in his life, such as changing his last name and pursuing his career passions. This is a shorter version of our conversation - if you'd like to hear the episode in its entirety, join me over on Patreon at Patreon.com/DNASurprises.

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One of the most healing things that we can do during our DNA surprise journeys is to write about them. In this week's episode, I'm joined by author Michelle Tullier. Michelle talks about her journey of finding out the truth, her initial reaction to her discovery, and how she has processed the emotions and navigated her new relationships. She also discusses the importance of therapy and writing in her healing process, as well as her plans to publish a memoir about her experience.

Thank you for sharing your story, Michelle.
Resources:

• https://www.michelletullierauthor.com/
• https://www.instagram.com/michelle_tullier_author/

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In this week’s episode, Lawrence shares his surprise at learning that he is a late discovery adoptee. After he took a DNA test, Lawrence discovered that the mom who raised him is not his biological mother. He describes his search for his biological family, as well as the truth about his birth story, and how his newfound relationships are blossoming. Thank you for sharing your story, Lawrence.

Resources:
DNAngels

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Have you been wondering when and where the 2024 DNA Surprise Retreat will be held? In this bonus episode, Debbie and I share all of the details about next year's DNA Surprise Retreat. We also chat about what we loved about 2023's retreat and what we look forward to next year.
Registration for the retreat opens November 15, 2023. Visit www.dnasurpriseretreat.com for more info!

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In this week's episode, we delve into Barbara's DNA surprise story.  Barbara grew up with a strong connection to her German heritage before discovering, in her fifties, that she was donor-conceived and of Jewish descent. She discusses the challenges she faced, the shock and sense of displacement she felt after the discovery, and the impact it had on her relationships with her parents–and her sense of self. She also shares the joy she experienced in connecting with some of her half-siblings. 

Thank you for sharing your story, Barbara.

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Welcome to the season 6 finale of DNA Surprises. In this week’s episode, Jamie bravely shares her DNA surprise journey, which began 5 years ago with a 23&Me test.

Jamie’s story encapsulates many parts of the DNA surprise stories we hear. She shares how her NPE came as a complete surprise. Her story includes an ethnic shift, from Italian to Portuguese, rejection AND acceptance, family estrangement, secrecy, and openness. and mental health issues. She also touches on her experience as a recipient parent of an egg donation and how her NPE has reaffirmed her commitment to be transparent with her daughter. 

Jamie acknowledges that while her journey ebbs and flows, she’s living life on her own terms now and is dedicated to welcoming relationships that nourish her.

Thank you for sharing your story, Jamie.

Before we wrap up for the year, I want to thank everyone who joined me in Season 6: Rikki, Jules, Kendall, Eric, Michelle, Pam, Gerard, Nina, Lily, Patrice, Michelle Tullier, Lawrence, and Jamie. Thank you for trusting me with your stories and helping others feel less alone.

And thank you for listening. We’ll be back in January with a new season of DNA surprise stories. Until next time.  

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Erika's incredible DNA surprise journey starts with a mind-altering awakening. Erika always felt an underlying sense of 'otherness' in her family. After an experience with psilocybin, or “magic mushrooms,” she realized that there was a big lie in her life. Thanks to a DNA test and a potent dose of self-awareness, a truth emerges that casts her entire upbringing in a new light. In this episode, Erika shares how she’s navigated the emotional fallout, reassessed her relationships, and grappled with her newly discovered Irish lineage. She also discusses how patriarchal norms in our society can create toxicity within the NPE community.

Thank you for sharing your story, Erika.

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Welcome to Season 7 of DNA Surprises. In the first episode of the season, Jenniffer shares how she unraveled her mother's deep secrets via DNA testing. Jenniffer talks about growing up in a Venezuelan family, fostered at times by her paternal grandparents, only to discover later in life that she shares no DNA with them. In addition, she learned that all of her raised siblings share different fathers. We discuss how the discovery impacted her and her siblings, how she’s building relationships with her newfound family, and how she’s moving toward acceptance. 

Thank you for sharing your story, Jenniffer. 

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Sometimes, DNA surprises happen more than once. NPEs, adoptees, and donor-conceived people might have their worlds shaken, only to have it happen again months, years, or even decades later. In this week’s episode, Daughter Dee shares her late discovery adoptee experience, which was followed decades later by an NPE. She shares how she learned that she was adopted, how she uncovered the truth about her biological father, and how she’s turned her experiences into helping others.

Thank you for sharing your story, Daughter Dee.

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Imagine being 16 and witnessing your parents’ divorce. Imagine finding out at this time that the man who raised you is not your biological father. After finding your biological father and failing to connect, you go through the next three decades just living your life. You have a child. You get married. You get divorced. And then you take a DNA test and experience a DNA surprise all over again. Only this time, the truth is closer to home than you imagine. 

In this week’s episode, Ray shares his remarkable DNA surprise journey, including how he finally discovered the true identity of his biological father. 

Thank you for sharing your story, Ray.

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The thing about DNA Surprises is that they can happen to anyone. It doesn’t matter your race, socioeconomic status, politics, or background. In this week’s episode, my guest, author Robin Schepper, shares her DNA surprise story.

For more than thirty years, Robin served at the highest levels of American politics and government. including on four presidential campaigns, in the Clinton White House, and as the first Executive Director of Michelle Obama’s Let’s Move! Initiative.  

She also grew up not knowing who her father was and spent decades trying to find him. In this episode, Robin discusses how she felt different growing up without a father and how she was finally unable to uncover his true identity. She also shares why she decided to write a memoir about her experiences. She also shares a beautiful poem that speaks to the “what ifs” that so many of us contemplate. 

Buy her book: https://www.amazon.com/Finding-My-Way-Identity-Political/dp/195485496X

Visit her website: https://robinfschepperauthor.com/

Thank you for sharing your story, Robin.

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Tina grew up believing that her biological father didn’t want to be part of her life. Imagine her shock when, after taking a DNA test, she found out that her biological father is someone else altogether. In this week’s episode, Tina shares how she found her biological father and then quickly lost him. She also reveals her family history of NPEs, including her own son.

Thank you for sharing your story, Tina.

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Something that I’ve heard more than once on this podcast is a situation that goes something like this: people are having an argument. A mother and child. A husband and wife. Both parents with their child, or some other combination. And then, in the heat of the moment, someone reveals the truth. So and so isn’t your real dad anyway. 

And then, just as quickly as it was blurted out, it is taken back. Dismissed. Forgotten about or explained away for years, until decades later, a DNA test brings the truth to light. 

In this week’s episode, Jill shares her version of this story. Her story is ultimately one of resilience. From childhood abuse to cancer diagnoses to her NPE, she discusses the truth as she knows it, and how she emerged from her challenges with the goal to inspire others to persevere in the face of adversity.

Thank you, Jill, for sharing your story.

You can learn about Jill's memoirs and more at www.justbeingjill.com.

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Secrets. Secrets are often at the beginning of a DNA surprise. But after the surprise is uncovered, is that the end of them? In this week’s episode, Ryan shares how on one fateful Thanksgiving, his mother confessed the truth about his paternity. When he spoke to his birth certificate father and his biological father, they both requested that he continue the secrecy.

Ryan discusses why keeping the secret is harmful to him and why he struggles with when to share his DNA surprise with others. He also shares how his DNA surprise affected his mental health and altered his identity.

Thank you for sharing your story, Ryan.

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Picture this: you grow up with a sibling who is convinced they are not your dad’s biological child. No one knows about DNA surprises or NPEs or anything like that, but they just know their dad isn't THEIR dad. Years later, after commercial DNA testing becomes commonplace, you offer them some peace of mind. All of your siblings take a test to prove, once and for all, that your parents are the biological parents of all of your siblings.

Except…they aren’t. Only it’s not your sibling who is the NPE. It’s you. In this week’s episode, Pat shares how she learned in her sixties that she doesn’t share a biological father with her siblings. She discusses how she was able to piece together a story long after the main players have passed, and how she’s forged new relationships with found family.

Thank you for sharing your story, Pat.
Resources:

Who Even Am I Anymore?
DNAngels

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Many of us who have had DNA surprises spend some time wondering “What if?” What if we’d been raised in a different house, with our newly discovered biological parent? What if we’d known the truth from the beginning? What would our lives look like now? Would they be better? Or…would they be worse?

In this week’s episode, Lisa shares how she uncovered her shocking DNA surprise, learning that her biological father is her dad’s best friend. She shares how she’s built beautiful relationships with her newfound family, which has led to her wonder what life would have been like if she’d known them earlier. Ultimately, she reveals why she believes everything it happened as it should.

Thank you for sharing your story, Lisa.

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