Cottage Conversations (Bethany and Nicole)

Bethany and Nicole give overviews of their own marriage stories while exploring Dr. Omar Minwalla's model of The Secret Sexual Basement and IMR (Intentionally Manipulating Reality) which differs significantly from the usual Codependent Model.

Nicole and Bethany are continuing our conversation from last week about Dr. Minwalla's model of The Secret Sexual Basement.

Podcast Resources:

The voice of the Heart by Dr. Chip Dodd https://www.amazon.com/Voice-Heart-Call-Full-Living/dp/098439916X

Scream Free Parenting by Hal Runkel https://www.amazon.com/Screamfree-Parenting-10th-Anniversary-Revised/dp/0767927435

Dr. Omar Minwalla’s White Paper https://minwallamodel.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/The_Secret_Sexual_Basement_Nov_2021.pdf

If you’re in need of more immediate, 1:1 coaching, Bethany would be honored to guide you. Here is the direct link to book a session: https://stan.store/ToolsofTC/p/book-a-11-call-with-me-fubgw

Find Bethany on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/toolsoftexascottages/profilecard/?igsh=MXJvbndqMzN2NnppdA==

21 Legitimate Expectations in Marriage https://stan.store/ToolsofTC/p/21-legitimate-expectations-in-marriage

We call these The 5 Ws and they are your guide to knowing if there is a real change on the horizon in your partner. He says it's going to be different this time and that he will do whatever it takes to save your relationship--but are those just words or is this the time everything is about to change? Access Women's Only Group Coaching here https://stan.store/ToolsofTC/p/betrayal-recoverygroup-coaching-membership And here if you're facing Betrayal https://stan.store/ToolsofTC/p/betrayal-recoverygroup-coaching-membership You can find Bethany on Instagram and TikTok @toolsoftexascottages If you enjoy our podcast, leaving a 5 star review means everything to us and helps women find our free resources to use when they are in crisis and searching for answers. Thank you so much for your support.

We tackle a few questions from our listeners today. We discuss the feelings of guilt and shame that overwhelmingly surround women leaving or considering leaving their marriages, even when it's toxic. We also explore how our feelings are meant to serve us if we tune into them and give a brief overview of Internal Family Systems therapy. Find me on both TikTok and Instagram @toolsoftexascottages Book a 1:1 session with Bethany here https://stan.store/ToolsofTC/p/book-a-11- call-with-me-fubgw Join a women's group coaching monthly membership here https://stan.store/ToolsofTC/p/women-only-group-coaching

Today's discussion is about forgiveness-including the complexities and nuance and how there is no right or wrong way to go about this. It is not a one-size-fits-all like some brand of underwear Nicole talks about today (hehe)! Let us know your thoughts and add to the conversation over on Instagram. You can just jump right into my DMs! @toolsoftexascottages The books mentioned in Today's episode are Forgiving Forward by Bruce and Toni Hebel and Forgiveness After Trauma by Susannah Griffith (I need to mention a caveat here, I (Bethany) have not read the book Forgiving Forward however I did scan it and I cannot in good conscience recommend it. It was transformative for Nicole and I support THAT and cheer loudly for her breakthrough. However, since I have the opportunity to speak with so many women one on one as well as in my group coaching, I felt I needed to make it clear that this is not the kind of work I personally recommend. It weaponizes the Bible in a way that I reject.) If you are interested in joining my group coaching, I'd love to have you! You can find more info here-https://stan.store/ToolsofTC/p/women-only-group-coaching or to book a 1:1 coaching call you can do that here https://stan.store/ToolsofTC/p/book-a-11-call-with-me-fubgw

In this episode, Nicole shares her insights from the year that she discovered her husband's infidelity. Link to support network: https://sanon.org/

Bethany and Nicole share how specific scenes in the movie relate to the lessons they've learned in recovery and their experiences with abuse, whether directly or indirectly. 

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) 

www.thehotline.org

https://www.helpguide.org/relationships/domestic-abuse

https://www.womenslaw.org/about-abuse

You can find Bethany on Instagram and TikTok @toolsoftexascottages

Find out more about Bethany's support groups here https://stan.store/ToolsofTC/p/women-only-group-coaching

and 

https://stan.store/ToolsofTC/p/betrayal-recoverygroup-coaching-membership

or meet with Bethany 1: 1 here https://stan.store/ToolsofTC/p/book-a-11-call-with-me-fubgw