Breaking Silence (Allison Meyerhardt)

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In this episode, we hear Ashley's story of sexual harassment, her journey towards healing and the fears that come with being forced out of a job.  She walks us through the culture that existed at work, the ways in which her abusers behavior was allowed to persist and what we can do now to disrupt environments like this so that women are not forced out of their careers.

You will hear audio from a past recording intermixed with our conversation, as we reflect on what it was like for her to share her story with us and how that has influenced her healing today.

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Welcome to the first season of the Breaking Silence Podcast. Throughout this podcast, the Executive Director, Alli Meyerhardt,  interviews those that are impacted by interpersonal violence so that we can build a community of advocates. In this space, we hope that you will find healing and join our community of breakers. 

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Today's episode we hear Dino walk us through his relationship in which power over and control creates an unsafe and impossible space to exist within. His journey is one of finding his voice, his power and moving on from the grips of his partner at the time.  

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In this episode, Alli is joined with Sam, an expert in the field of suicide prevention and awareness.  Sam gives us tools for starting conversations around suicide, how to show up for someone and ourselves, and how suicide and interpersonal violence tend to intersect. 

If you or anyone you know is in need of support please call 800-273-8255 or text HOME to 741-741 

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In this episode, Alli talks with someone who chose to commit a sex offense on an incapacitated female in college. Hearing from this side of the story gives us the tools to understand prevention, and permission to feel things more deeply no matter what those feelings may be. Lean in as we explore what it mean\s to go from a hurt person hurting people to a more healed person hoping to heal people 

We hope you will continue this conversation on our instagram @breakingsilence_org

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In this episode, Alli sits down with Katie a survivor of rape. Katie tells us her story of surviving the assault at the hands of a friend, the price of healing, and how she is working to build a community where all survivors are heard and supported.

If you or anyone you know needs further support please visit our resources page or reach out to the rape crisis hotline directly at 1-800-656-4673

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In this episode, Tanya, a treatment provider for those who have committed sex offense sits down with us to talk through what that treatment looks like, the roll that accountability plays in her work and how we can all be a part of the healing process for those in our lives.

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Alli and Max, a gay male who worked in the escort sex work industry  sit down to debunk the stereotypes of the industry, how access to safe sex can strip down our shame, and the power of consent. 

We hope this vulnerable and honest conversation will start the conversation around the sex work industry so that we can all be better informed and more empathetic   

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In this episode we talk with Anaya who walks through his story of being sexually assaulted by his partner, in which the assault ends in a pregnancy.  At 16, Anaya knew that having a child that resulted from a rape was not what he wanted so he sought abortion as a step in his healing process. We talk through this process, the significance of inclusive language especially in the abortion space for those that identify as trans and how being a little kinder with our words and energy changes the world.

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Alli sits down with Cody to learn about his experience of surviving a sexual assault at a pivotal time; when he was defining his identity and sexuality. Cody guides us through his experience of meeting an older man online who violated his sense of safety, his sense of community and his sense of self. We talk through believing in the power of his words and how this moment sent him on a journey of healing and growth

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In this episode, we change things up as  Alli gets interviewed for the first time. Brittany, Alli's wife, helps Alli explore her stories and how they have influenced her in creating Breaking Silence. We walk through how Alli sees her stories of abuse today, what she continues to struggle with and what she hopes this podcast and Breaking Silence brings each of you!

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Alli sits down with Samantha,  as she guides us through what happened one night at the hands of her boss, a man many considered to be a brilliant chef. The need to believe in his mastery over his actions and treatment of people leads to Samantha being violently attacked in the place they worked.  She not only guides us through that moment but through the very real consequences of giving people sympathy over empathy and harm that comes from "not wanting to get involved."

Throughout the episode she walks us through her journey of finding containers of safety, of trusting people even when you cannot trust yourself and how forgiveness does not happen in a silo. 

Please note that Samantha does share in detail the events around her attack which may be triggering and unsafe for some people to listen to. Take your time or pass on this episode if it will be more harmful than helpful.

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Welcome Back Breakers! 

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Author Lynn Forney  shares with us her journey of survival and healing which she details in her book: Choosing Survival: How I Endured a Brutal Attack and a Lifetime of Trauma through the Power of Action, Choice, and Self Expression.

We move through the power of art and imagination as a way  to make friends with our past, how we can show kindness to our inner child and how a little bit of silly can go a long way in the healing journey.

Lynn is a true light in this world and we hope you will continue to support her work and engage in the spaces she so thoughtfully creates. You can purchase her book using this LINK. 

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This week we chat with Lori Poland, Executive Director of EndCAN and author of I Live Here: learning to heal through embracing your own story

When Lori was kidnapped at the age of 3, her world and the world of others turned upside down. Her journey has been one of finding her voice in a tragedy that was mostly told to her and trying to understand what it means to have "joint custody" of your story. We don't always get to choose what our story means to others or even to ourselves, and sometimes the process of healing means feeling the mess and the wonder simultaneously.

If you would like to learn more about the work EndCAN does please go to their website 

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It is never easy to find your voice or feelings when a story feels outside of you. We talk with Will, a secondary survivor who is on a journey of understanding the impact that abuse has had on his mother's life and their relationship.  As he feels his own pain through knowing what she want through, he is finding new ways to connect with her, empower her and help her break her silence even further. The biggest thing we can do as secondary survivors is to create the space for ourselves and the survivor to talk through the experience if and when they are ready.

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In this episode we are joined by Amanda as she talks us through her stories of survival, why she has kept her stories silent  and how she ended up in litigation against a powerful ride share company. This episode is a wonderful example of how we can still be in our pain and going through it and know that when we talk to safe people they will believe and see us, not shame and silence us.  There is no perfection or finished when it comes to processing an assault, so sometimes we just have to start talking and know that our community will help carry the weight of what happened with us.

You are not alone and if you need help or want to talk to someone please reach out to the National Sexual Assault Hotline,  Available 24 hours: 1-800-656-4673

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This week, we talk with Karen about her story of surviving abuse at the hands of her stepfather. The idea of that to be loved means to experience abuse was a common story told to her not only by her abusive stepfather but by religious leaders.  Karen has had to reframe her story to become one about love for herself, how the abuse is not her shame to carry and  the work she is doing in  finding self love and grace. 

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You can hear the "From Heart To Heard" talk on our website! We are so excited to have Dave Pelzer here next week as we continue our journey through this season. Please share with us your why and reactions to our video .

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Dave Pelzer is a New York Times best selling author, a survivor, and someone that has helped countless people through the power of his story. Alli and Dave talk through the process of writing his new book Return to the River,  how he has moved through life holding space for his abuse and for his adult self to heal, and what he sees now, 50 years after his rescue. 

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To kickoff season 3, we sit down with Morgan from Highland Park Brewery (HPB) and walk through what is like to do one of our trainings, the impacts it has had and continues to  have with staff, and how our work together is helping disrupt some of the previous standards within the beer industry.

We started our work in the beer space in 2020 as women within the industry started to come forward to share their stories of abuse, harassment and assault. It was a catalyst for us to become a more active part of creating safer spaces for everyone in the industry. Over the years, our relationship with breweries like HPB has helped start hard conversations about the realities of these spaces and how everyone can be a part of the change.

If you are interested in our training, or learning more please visit breakingsilence.org/programming

 

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Sergeant Mike Harris sits down to guide us through how online sex crimes against children has changed over the years, ways in which we can start having honest and prevention based conversations with the kids in our lives, and the impact that time and space has on how our stories develop. Believing a survivor is not just about believing their first out cry, it is knowing that their story will change and over time. It is our duty as the listener to continue to believe them through every adaptation, and Mike is here to ground us in how that reality tends to play out. 

Mike has been in law enforcement since 1979. He worked patrol SWAT, undercover narcotics, canine and in '91, he started working in crimes against children. In '96, he ventured into the online side of things and started using technology to lure sexual predators away from children online. He's been working as a detective against child online sex crimes for decades and was the creator of CHEEZO, a police unit focused on tracking predators, educating children on what to look out for and providing resources for parents.

Resources for Online Safety
https://www.commonsensemedia.org/

https://protectyoungeyes.com/

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Susan and Alexander Prout are the founders of the I Have The Right To organization, which is committed to creating an ecosystem of respect and support for students and survivors of sexual assault. Throughout our conversation we discuss the bravery of their daughter Chessy, the walls of silence and shame that institutions systemically create,  healing as an act of communion, and how we can disrupt the power of toxic masculinity and rape culture as it currently exists.

We encourage you to join the pledge on their website, follow the conversation through their social and read Chessy's Book, I Have the Right To: A High School Survivor's Story of Sexual Assault, Justice, and Hope. 

Other Resources:
You Throw Like a Girl, The Blind Spot of Masculinity by Don McPherson
 Beartown by Frederic Backman
Of Boys and Men by Richard Reeves
Asking For iI by Kate Harding

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Connecting to ourselves is not always a straight line. How we find our journey through healing is immensely personal, which is why we are so grateful for the honesty and vulnerability that Jenna brings. Jenna is an emotional healing educator, meditation teacher, retreat leader, hypnotherapist, HeartMath Facilitator, and founder of the Emotional Healing System.  For the past two decades she has taught thousands internationally in group and private retreats.

We never know what might show up when we start to find infinite kindness towards ourselves.

Resources Mentioned:
Wise Little One Book
Wabi Sabi Ted Talk
Micheal Teachings: Soul Age

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Maya is a diversity, equity, and inclusion facilitator, who has joined us to talk through her expertise, how we can all continue the conversation around equity and inclusion, and what it means to be a true ally to others.

The journey of finding your power and privilege is not an easy one, and we hope the tools laid out in the episode will help in whatever DEI and violence prevention journey you may be on

Books and Resources:
How to be an Anti-Racist and Other Work from Author Ibram X. Kendi
Me and White Supremacy by Layla F Saad
The Social Change Map

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Camil invites us into her story in a way that encapsulates what it means to face our stories. To face some of the hardest moments of our lives and those who acted within our world. It is not easy to give people the vulnerability that Camil does, and we know that her words will bring healing and understanding to so many.

Please know that this episode does go into detail about sexual abuse, drug use, and domestic violence so listener discretion is advised.

Learning to Cope Book

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Talking with Sonya, a Clinical Director and Sex Offender Management Board Clinical Supervisor for Juveniles, is a window into empathy for juveniles who are currently in the Youthful Offender System in Colorado. She shares with us not only her years of experience as a therapist, but the way in which her life and philosophies have helped shape her approach. She has centered herself and her work around bringing your full self to the table,  using humor even in times or moments when that seems impossible, and how we can give the children in our lives autonomy.  

Sonya is a kind, insightful, hilarious force and we are lucky to bring this conversation to the Breaking Silence Podcast

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Creating change and safe spaces in the beer industry takes time, commitment, maturity and a desire to always listen to what those working within it are telling us. Throughout the episode Ryan Stack and I talk through what his time at Prairie Artisan Ales was like and how they created a culture based on believing staff, showing up for one another as a team and the need to be constantly working at a culture.

If you are anyone you know may be interested in hosting one of our trainings, please reach out to us at breakingsilence.org or to Alli Meyerhardt directly at alli@breakingsilence.org

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Catcalling has been so normalized in our society that we often dismiss it and assume that it does not do any harm. Terra Lopez, host and creator of "This is What it Feels Like", joins us as she talks us through the often untold consequences that come from catcalling such as harassment, sexual assault and even murder. We walk through the power of learning  and owning what our words and actions may be doing to others and how being curious can often open doors that were closed in our hearts.

Her podcast and art installation, "This is What it Feels Like," puts people "in the shoes of everyday people at the center of issues often overlooked or politicized by society."  Terra has the incredible ability to shine light on topics that many struggle to talk through or even understand the fully gravity of,  and we are so thrilled that she was willing to share space with us and bring further understanding to the incredible work she is doing.

To learn more about the incredible work Terra is doing please listen to her podcast "This is What it Feels Like," and give them a follow  on instagram!

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The post conviction process for a survivor of sexual violence can be a very lonely, overwhelming and confusing moment in their journey. In this episode, we have the amazing opportunity to learn more about what that is like for folks, what support is out there and how putting the survivors voice and story first is a major step in getting some of the power back. Casey, walks us through what it is like to walk along survivors and be the liaison between them and the offender, connecting bridges and helping bring as much clarity to the situation as possible. Going through the judicial system is never easy so having resources like Casey and the Blue Bench is not only necessary but something we need to work towards being a requirement in all states 

Resources: breakingsilence.org/resources

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**Trigger Warning: Sexual violence and abuse are discussed in this episode**
 
Throughout this episode we hear from Julie Ann, Executive Director of The Army of Survivors (TAOS), and Dani, a Co-Founder and Board Member of TAOS. We discuss how being an organization created by athletes who have survived sexual violence for athletes allows them to bring awareness to the systemic problem of sexual abuse of athletes and to ultimately end this culture of abuse by ensuring all parties are held accountable.

The vulnerability, honesty and heart that they bring to the episode will allow everyone to connect to the power of holding institutions accountable and guide us through how we all can show up for the athlete in our lives.

To learn more about their work please follow them on social media @thearmyofsurvivors and visit their website https://thearmyofsurvivors.org/