Booze and B-Movies (Booze and B-Movies)

We jump right into our highlights of #Olympics2024, everything from the cycling, to the triple jump, to ping pong. If you missed any of the big moments from Paris, tune in here to get caught up.

On to the movie, Mad Cow:

A mad scientist vows to continue his quest to create the perfect super-soldier by Frankensteining a bunch of body parts from powerful physical specimens. What could go wrong? Well, if the only head he has access to is that of a Holstein Friesian, things can go sideway quickly...and boy do they ever. Luckily a crack squad of very special police and the T.W.A.T are around the protect the citizenry.

Mad Cow final grade:

Steve This one would be an easy top-shelfer, were it not for the last 10 minutes. Bad acting, but funny writing that draws from other classic comedies was great. Unfortunately, gotta dock them for the extended ending. 3.69/5.0

Brandon There were plenty of laughs in this one, but at some point, it seemed like they were trying to hard. The good jokes could have hit better with more setup. Trying to do a Monty Python/National Lampoon/Every other funny move ever got a little busy. 3.56/5

Cocktail of the Week: Gin Daisy

1 1/2 oz Dry Gin, but it was good with "Gin" too

1/2 oz Fancy Grenadine

1/4 oz Benedictine Dom

3/4 oz Fresh-Squeezed Lemon Juice

Topo Chico or other sparkling water

Add all ingredients to a shaking tin. Shake over ice to combine, then strain over ice in a rocks glass. Top with Topo Chico. Garnish with lemon wheel.

Cocktail Grade: Another Anders Erickson homerun. Delicious, refreshing. Goes down faster than you'd think. 5/5

Fancy Grenadine Recipe

450 g granulated sugar

300 g 100% Unsweetened Pomegranate Juice

20 g Pomegranate Molasses

5 ml Rose Water

Heat sugar, juice, and molasses to a saucepan. Heat and stir to dissolve sugars. Cool and then stir in the rose water. Yields about one quart.

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Like good Midwesterners, we discuss the weather...then move on to the economics of the Denver metro area. Steve's air conditioner conked out, Brandon's kids are on the road.

On to the movie, The Night of the Wererooster: Surviving family members of recently deceased people gather in the woods of rural Western Virginia to learn what happened to their loved ones. Charlotte Reeves has assembled them, and tells them she can help them learn the truth. The truth is, there is a god-damned WereROOSTER in the woods preying on the innocent.

Is there really a Wererooster terrorizing Western Virginia, or is this just a cock-and-bull story? The cocky Charlotte teams up with the cocksure Col. Sanders, cock-of-the-walk Buddy, peacocking Lou, cockeyed Stan, and Bobbi, whose mouth is always going off half-cocked. Can this plucky crew overcome the odds of this cockamamie quest, or will they be coldcocked?

WHY ISN'T THE GUY WHO PLAYED COLONEL SANDERS LISTED IN THE CREDITS??

Night of the Wererooster final grade:

Steve says this one way "way better" than he thought it was going to be. Entertainment value elevates this "shitty movie" into the "not-so-shitty category." Lack of a "creature," and filler scenes aimed at a 90-minute goal detracted from the parts of the movie that were surprisingly good and well done. 3.00/5.0

Brandon Producer/Director/Actor David Radford seems to have sat down to try to make a shitty movie, and succeeded in doing so. This one blows the other "micro budget" movies we've watched out of the water. Penis-related humor hit in the right places. 3.52/5

Cocktail of the Week: Rooster Whiskey Cocktail

1 1/2 oz Bourbon

1/2 oz cinnamon Schnapps or, in our case, Fireball

4 oz Sarsaparilla or Root Beer.

Rim a rocks glass with kosher salt. Mix the cocktail in the glass. First the liquors, then top with the root beer or Sarsaparilla. Stir to combine. Garnish with lime wedge.

Cocktail Grade: Steve thought this cocktail was inspired by the lead character in True Grit, Rooster Cogburn. Turns out, it must have actually been inspired by the flavors of a rooster's cloaca. Root beer, cinnamon, and salt don't mix. We feel bad we wasted decent bourbon on this. Only drink this if you hate yourself. 0.2/5

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Some nut with a weird imagination gets all excited when the Winnie the Pooh classic hits the public domain and decides he needs to make a scary "what if" out of it.

Being abandoned by Christopher Robin drives Pooh and Piglet to uncontrollable violent rage. Young women have a girls' getaway in the woods. Paths cross. You can probably guess the rest.

Not a bad idea, but the execution misses. Poor writing and acting don't make you care about the characters. Repetitive, formulaic violence gets boring after a while. To be fair, an honest attempt on the budget available. It just doesn't do any one thing well. It was better than expected, based on the reviews, though. Maybe check it out if you're intrigued, but you probably won't watch it twice.

Winnie the Pooh Blood & Honey Final Grades

Steve: A good idea that missed the mark. Maybe after learning something here and getting a bigger budget for a planned sequel, they can put out a better product next time. 1.78/5

Brandon Couldn't hear things. Couldn't see things. Why don't British people speak English? This movie is like Pooh in your pool or Pooh in your treehouse or finding Pooh in your living room. Pooh. 1.59/5

Cocktail of the Week: The Bees Knees, two ways

Steve gets gin, Brandon gets tequila

2 oz Gin or Tequila

1 oz Honey Syrup (50/50 Honey:Water)

3/4 oz Fresh-squeezed Lemon Juice

A couple dashes Angostura Bitters for the Tequila version

Shake the ingredients in a cocktail shaker and strain over ice in a rocks glass. Garnish with a lemon peel.

Cocktail Grade: Two very good cocktails. The tequila version with the bitters has a little better flavor profile than the gin version that is a little sweeter. Both of them are great if you've got a scratchy throat. It's just delicious cough syrup, really. Highly recommended for any sick days. 4.5/5

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First, a quick catch-up on #Election2024 (aka MasterDebaters), some youth hockey updates and a third installment of figuring out what gymnastics is like for eight-year-olds. Then, on to the movie...

Do or Die, the sixth installment of the L.E.T.H.A.L, a movie series that should stop doing and just die. Steve is curious to see how Andy Sedaris might refine his storytelling over the years, and it appears as though the answer is that he just decided to stop telling stories. Mister Miyagi shows up and tells our Secret Agent Women from the jump that he wants to kill them. Not exactly sure why, but whatever. Anyway, he hired six teams of assassins. Donna and Nicole have to face this challenge, sadly Taryn gets this week off. Ponch from C.H.I.P.s shows up to help the ladies. If the acting and writing haven't improved, at least they've at least got the timing of nudity/gun fight/chase scene down to a science.

Do or Die final grade:

Steve The lack of any attempt to tell a story in this one actually made it one of the better Sidaris movies. There were no draggy bits. 3.0/5.0

Brandon In the words of Mama Boucher, "Booby Movies is da devil!" 3.6980085/5

Cocktail of the Week: Gratuitous Sex on the Beach

Take a traditional Sex on the Beach:

1 1/2 oz Vodka

1/2 oz Peach Schnapps

4 oz Orange Juice

Splash of Cranberry Juice

Build the drink the the glass. Pour ingredients over ice and stir to combine.

Then add:

1/2 oz Midori Melon Liqueur

1/2 oz Malibu Rum

Garnish with a skewer of melon, peach, cherry and navel orange.

Cocktail Grade: Sweet punch-style drink. Don't check your blood sugar for a couple days. Could definitely sneak up on you though, if you're not paying attention. Much like a Sidaris movie, perfectly mid. 3/5

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Our special guest is back for a second installment, so we decided to show her exactly what Steve and Brandon put themselves through each week by playing a movie that is waaayyy less competently done than last week's episode. But first, we talk about our #dreams for a bit and look for a little analysis.

Killer Kites: Abby receives a crappy plastic kite as part of her grandmother's estate. Unbeknownst to Abby, this isn't just some ordinary kite. It is a blood-thirsty communist PInko kite set on the destruction of capitalist society. After the mysterious death of her brother, Abby has to assemble a crack squad to combat the Red Kite menace.

Killer Kites final grade:

Steve An upper-echelon movie for the ultra-low-budget set. I was entertained. Jokes hit. The movie's lead star was better than expected. 4.0/5.0

Brandon A good way to kill an hour or so. Not my favorite of the micro-budget movies, though, so have to rank it lower than some others. 3.5/5.0

Amanda I was entertained by the absurdity, but the story itself was underdeveloped. It left me with a lot of unanswered questions. 3.2/5.0

Cocktail of the Week: Plastic Kite

1 1/2 oz Bourbon

3/4 oz Amaro

1/4 oz Campari

3/4 oz Fresh-Squeezed Lemon Juice

1/4 oz Simple Syrup Combine everything in a cocktail shaker. Shake to chill and combine. Serve in a martini glass. As usual, feel free to chill the glass if you want. Double strain it if you want. Garnish if you want. Make it your own.

Cocktail Grade: A good variation of the more famous Paper Plane. Even our non-bourbon-fan control group said the drink was "not terrible." Bourbon fans will give it higher marks. 4/5

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This week, we're headed back to Norway to take on another Norse mythical creature, the Fjøsnissen, aka Nisse, aka Barn Elf.

This one turns out to be a "scary" movie for the whole family. Steve calls it, "three deleted f*&^s away from being a Hallmark movie" special.

This movie earns a solid "Middle Shelf" rating from the guys as a not too gory, but well-made Christmas Vacation/Home Alone/Leprechaun mash-up.

Cocktail of the Week

Nordic Sidecar

2 oz Aquavit

1 oz Orange Liqueur

1 oz Lemon Juice

Shake over ice and serve in a martini glass

Notes about this episode:

Lutefisk is dried fish, usually cod, which is cured in lye for several days, then rinsed and steamed. What you end up with is "fish jello" that is best consumed along with enough rye-bread flavored aquavit that you don't remember the experience. But, that's not fair, neither of us have ever tried it, although Brandon did grow up in an area where Norwegians are plentiful. However, do not try and feed it to a barn elf in place of it's traditional offerings, because it will just get really pissed off.

Police officers in Norway do not carry firearms, so you're betting off checking with neighbors there for a gun if your barn elf goes apeshit.

Leave that five-star review here on Spotify.

Contact us with feedback or cocktail/movie recommendations to:

boozeandbmovies@gmail.com

X: @boozeandbmovies

Instagram: @boozeandbmovies Threads: @boozeandbmovies www.facebook.com/boozeandbmovies

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First, it's not always fun and games in hockey, when you get hit in the head with a puck. Also, school field trips, and ordering stuff from a company that seems to only sort of exist doesn't always go the best. Then, on to the movie... Sleepaway Camp, is a movie that was actually intended to be scary, not one of our usual horror/comedy thing. Although this one does have enough bad acting to find a few bits to laugh at. It's apparently developed quite a devoted cult following due to its quaintness and twist ending. Long story short, don't interact with Angela, and you'll be OK. Otherwise you'll probably end up being killed or maimed in some kind of imaginative way.

Sleepway Camp final grade:

Steve An interesting spin on a thriller-type horror movie. Not particularly scary, but keeps your attention and does have the big reveal at the end. 4.0/5.0

Brandon A welcome change from the recent Andy Sidaris marathon. Done well enough to draw you in and get you invested in the characters. All-in-all, not a bad little movie cocktail with a wiener twist. 3.7/5

Cocktail of the Week: Deluxe Raspberry Collins

1 1/2 oz Whiskey

1/2 oz Ginger Liqueur

3/4 oz Fresh-Squeezed Lemon Juice

1/2 oz Simple Syrup

Drop four raspberries in a cocktail shaker with your liquid ingredients. Muddle them together, add ice, then shake to chill and combine. Strain over rocks in a Collins glass. Garnish with a twist of lemon and a raspberry if you're nasty.

Cocktail Grade: A light, refreshing summer cocktail. As we get into autumn, we're running out of opportunities to enjoy these kinds of drinks, so get them in now. Delicious. 4.8/5

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After being stymied by streaming services on a few other options to continue May's Roger Corman retrospective, we land on another Alien-style knockoff. This one does divide Brandon and Steve a bit and give a glimpse in their different movie-grading criteria. Brandon likes this one for it's splattery, campy toplessness. Steve expects more in terms of production value, set design, and writing.

Tell us if you've heard this before. An experiment goes wrong at a space research facility. Expert problem-solver is sent in to investigate the problem. He recommends killing the troublesome critter while it's small and containable. Scientists disagree and ask him to sleep on it. By morning, it's too late and the critter has become ginormous and is killing everyone.

In addition, Steve airs some grievances he has with AMC theater's new contactless policies and Brandon mentions a couple cultural differences he noticed while on holiday in Scotland. Steve continues with the next chapter in his Roger Corman biography.

Forbidden World Final Grades

Steve: James Cameron wasn't in the building for this one, so this iteration of a Corman knock-off of a previous Alien-knockoff falls flat. Can't get over the styrofoam trays as walls. Good special effects don't make up for being well below-average in every other respect. 2.46/5

Brandon While this wasn't as "good" a movie as Galaxy of Terror, the campy, splattering Skinemax qualities hit in the "entertainment" category slightly better than its predecessor. Acting scared of a thing you can see is easier than acting scared of a thing you haven't seen, so the flick had an easier formula to pull off. 4.02/5

Cocktail of the Week: Forbidden Sour

1 1/2 oz Your Favorite Bourbon

1 oz Pomegranate Liqueur

1/2 oz Fresh-Squeezed Lemon Juice

1/2 oz Simple Syrup

Shake all ingredients over ice and strain into lowball/rocks glass and garnish with a lemon slice.

Cocktail Grade: Pomegranate adds a slightly different flavor profile to one of our favorite cocktails. A nice twist on the classic whiskey sour. Would definitely drink again. 5/5

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The one kicks off with some gardening chat, complaints about the Amazon return process at Kohl's when a person in line in front of you has no honor and youth sports seasons starting up.

As far as the movie goes, we check out Malibu Express, out of sequence in the L.E.A.T.H.A.L Cinematic Universe. Much like it's follow-up, Hard Ticket to Hawaii, which we reviewed in Ep 20, this one features more than its fair share of Early/Mid 80s Playboy Playmates, although the...exposure...they give and receive in this one outstrips Hard Ticket by quite a bit.

A poor-man's mash-up of Bo Duke, Fletch and Fred from Scooby Doo "investigates" computer sales to Soviet Communists, but that plot of the movie never really happens. Then there's another part about a guy with gambling debts who blackmails high-society women with explicit photos and videos. Then there's like three other unconnected storylines. This movie is basically the fever dream of a teenage boy with a Playboy subscription from 1982-1984.

The TL;DR version of the movie goes like this: Car, boobs, moustache, boobs, butt, car, gunfight, boobs, explosion, car chase, gunfight, boobs, helicopter, explosion, boobs, butt, The End.

The last ten minutes of the movie is devoted to a couple monologues by the good guy and the bad guy that are intended to help you understand what happened. They didn't help.

Malibu Express final grade:

Steve Entertaining only for being so ripe with opportunity for mockery. Soooo many topless women that it actually detracted from the story. 2.69/5.0

Brandon Plot was...tough to follow?...non-existent? Andy Sidaris doesn't know how to write a movie, but he does know how to employ Playboy Playmates trying to kick off a film career. 3.80085/5, if you were a kid with a calculator in the 80s

Cocktail of the Week: The Pineapple

2 oz Malibu Coconut Rum

4 oz Pineapple Juice

Build the drink the the glass. Pour ingredients over ice and stir to combine.

Cocktail Grade: A trip down memory lane to the old days in Columbus, OH. Delicious and nutritious. We did amp it up a bit by adding some 151 proof rum on a future round to turn it into the Caribou Lou (h/t Tech N9ne) 4.8/5

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First, catch up on some CSU Women's Hockey and try to answer the age-old question, "Why do douchebags love crotch rockets?"

CarousHell: In what must be an allegory for parenthood, a sentient carousel horse...I mean unicorn...Duke gets fed up with kids riding his back and treating him poorly, so he decides to escape the bonds of the amusement park carousel and exact his revenge by killing everyone. Nothing can quench his thirst for blood, but can Cowboy Cool stop his reign of terror?

CarousHell final grade:

Steve Top-tier regardless of the scoring scale. 70-minute runtime was perfect. Laughs by the truckload, possibly due to the effects of the Cocktail of the Week. 5.0/5.0

Brandon Sometimes taking a shot on something that looks stupid and terrible pays off. It did in a big way here. Duke isn't the hero we wanted, but he's the hero we deserve. 5.0/5.0

Cocktail of the Week: Vieux Carré

3/4 oz Rye Whiskey

3/4 oz Cognac

3/4 oz Sweet Vermouth

1/2 oz Benedictine

Angostura Bitters

Peychaud's Bitters

Comebine all ingredients in a cocktail mixing glass over ice. Stir to chill and combine. Serve over rocks in a rocks glass. Garnish with a twist of lemon and a Luxardo cherry.

Cocktail Grade: One of the most famous cocktails to come out of Louisiana, and for good reason. They catch up to you quickly, given they have no non-alcoholic ingredients to dilute the booze. A tasty cocktail reminiscent of a Manhattan or Old Fashioned. 4.5/5

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Picasso Trigger, the third installment of the L.E.T.H.A.L Cinematic Universe. This one crams even more pages of Playboy into the cast list. SEVEN former playmates. Sidaris has a formula. But as far as we can understand the plot: A homeless person's Ernst Stavro Blofeld vows vengeance on The Agency for having killed his brother in Hard Ticket to Hawaii. So, maybe it's more like Die Hard 3?

After several of their colleagues are rubbed out, L.E.T.H.A.L (aka Girls with Guns), with the aid of gadgets from the Professor, a Bosley from Charlie's Angels knock-off named Long Dong and leading man Travis Abilene take down the crime lord behind it all, Miguel Ortiz. Also, the first operative to die actually faked his own death and was a bad guy.

Picasso Trigger final grade:

Steve Sidaris' movie-writing skills are trending in the right direction. This one is probably a *better* movie than either Hard TIcket or Malibu Express. The nod to James Bond with all the gadgets was fun. 2.79/5.0

Brandon The plot of this movie is ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, again, nearly impossible to track. The boring bits of this one are exacerbated by the lack of...visual distractions...to draw your attention away from any monotony. Gotta give this one a similar score as the others, but the magic may be wearing off. 3.69/5

Cocktail of the Week: Ranch Water

1 1/2 oz Tequila Blanco

1 oz fresh-squeezed lime juice

Sparkling water

Build the drink the the glass. Pour ingredients over ice and stir to combine. Garnish with a lime wedge.

Cocktail Grade: A fine tequila-based spin on the Gin Rickey, low-sugar, low calorie, all health. 4.5/5

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This week we finish our look at Roger Corman's career with what may be the closest thing to an adult film that Roger put his name on, Dinosaur Island. We weren't quite able to "know it when we see it," though, because we had to watch a version that was apparently edited to meet YouTube's community standards. 

In the final installment of the Corman Compendium, Steve runs down what is actually a pretty impressive list of the filmmakers and actors to whom Roger Corman gave early-career opportunities. 

On to Dinosaur Island: Five soldiers wash up on the shore of an uncharted island after a plane crash. As luck would have it, the island is populated by cavewomen who seem to be experiencing a shortage of leather, because their clothing options didn't offer much coverage. But, things aren't all daquirirs and skinny-dipping. A "giant" T-Rex terrorizes the women. Can these goofball soldiers save them from their tormentor *and* teach them the ways of male/female...relations...or is that job more than they can chew?

Dinosaur Island final grade:

Steve likes the movie and calls it an entertaining bit of camp. But, as usual, he's also harder on the movie for its low quality acting, crappy dinosaurs, and lackluster visual effects. 3.69/5.0

Brandon calls this the goofiest, most ridiculous Corman movie we've watched thus far, with the worst Dinosaur models and puppetry ever seen. Of course, this means the movie was very good and amusing. It's also possible he saw this movie on Showtime in 1994. 4.04/5 

Cocktail of the Week: Dino-Sour

1 oz Dark Rum

1 oz Light Rum

1 oz Fresh-Squeezed Lemon Juice

1/2 oz Rich Demerara Syrup

1/2 oz Egg White

Combine all ingredients in a cocktail shaker without ice. Dry shake a few times. Add ice and shake again. Double strain (all about that mouth feel) over ice in a rocks glass. Garnish as you like.

Cocktail Grade: A good sour cocktail. Taste very similarly to a standard whiskey sour, with perhaps a slightly more pronounced vanilla. For our tastes, 5/5

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Quentin Dupieux can suck it for this one. The guys' midwestern positivity is strained by this movie.

Brandon and Steve give some insights on the work of a director who has made some movies that don't suck. Unfortunately, Wrong Cops isn't one of the "not sucky ones." You owe us for this one. You might have inadvertently watched it yourself, and that would have been bad. I can't say we "spoiled" this one, because it was pretty rotten to begin with.

The screening is met with an initial 15 minutes of Steve's trademark professionalism before he finally asks Brandon for his opinion, and he makes a cry for help from any #Belgian listeners out there who might be able to shed some light on this atrocity.

You're missing the last 5% on this one; talent.

#WhatMustBeDoneWillBeDone

A couple notes about this episode:

Apologies are made for mistakes in the last episode. We salute you, General Bastard.

Brandon does a two-second cover of Mariah Carey's 1995 hit, "Fantasy."

Cocktail of the Week:

Wrong Turn 2 oz Bourbon 1 oz Limoncello 1 oz Campari 3/4 oz Sweet Vermouth Shake over ice until well chilled Serve in a coop, to class it up.

Leave that five-star review here on Spotify.

Contact us with feedback or cocktail/movie recommendations to:

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X: @boozeandbmovies

Instagram: @boozeandbmovies Threads: @boozeandbmovies www.facebook.com/boozeandbmovies

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In a move that may destroy this podcast, Brandon and Steve give their instant reactions to the first Presidential #Debate2024, which appears to be the sixth-consecutive contest between Giant Douche and Turd Sandwich, thanks South Park.

And nooowww...Hell Comes to Frogtown: In a post-apocalyptic world, women rule and men are judged not by the content of their character, but by the quality of their spermatozoa. Enter Sam Hell, a man with stronger swimmers than the US Olympic Team. A scavenger, drifter, and criminal-type, he opts to work with the government after he's captured, rather than face prison. His mission? To first rescue, then procreate with, a group of women who were taken captive by a race of Frogpeople. The human race needs more babies to survive, and only Sam Hell has the balls to save humanity. Is this setup stupid? Probably, but let's not got too teste.

Hell Comes to Frogtown final grade:

Steve maybe wasn't in a receptive mood for this one, but he calls this one "meh." Rowdy Roddy Piper misses as a leading man and bad #science knocks this one down several pegs. 2.69/5.0

Brandon This movie was ribbeting. Not a good movie, the nostalgia of a 1980s WWF icon and the low-brow humor hits in his soft spots. 3.45/5

Cocktail of the Week: Feeling Froggy? It Ain't Easy Being Green? Who knows...

1 oz vodka

1 oz Midori Melon Liqueur

1/2 oz Orange Liqueur

1/2 oz Coconut Rum

1 oz Pineapple Juice

Mix all ingredients in a cocktail shaker. Strain over cherries in a frosted martini glass.

Cocktail Grade: Brandon takes another shot at creating a cocktail. This one misses the mark, but it might be better if something about it were changed. 2/5

------------------ Contact us with feedback or cocktail/movie recommendations to: boozeandbmovies@gmail.com X: @boozeandbmovies Instagram: @boozeandbmovies Threads: @boozeandbmovies www.facebook.com/boozeandbmovies

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A low-budget warm-up to Aliens. A rescue party is sent to investigate a crashed vessel. Tentacles keep popping out of places. An unseen force kills off the the landing party one-by-one, using their greatest fears against them. It's a pyramid, just like the ones in Egypt. Coincidence?

If you've ever read Sphere by Michael Crichton or watched the movie adaptation, you kinda get the idea.

The guy who plays Freddy Krueger doesn't get killed, but also doesn't make it to the end of the movie. WHERE DID HE GO??

Galaxy of Terror Final Grades

Steve: James Cameron works magic on a Roger Corman budget. A likeable movie with better set dressing, costumes, direction and production than Ol' Rog usually gets. 4.2897/5

Brandon A not-as-scary space thriller. Missing a bit of psychological aspect that could have made up for a evil creature/force that's barely on camera. But, overall, a pretty good movie. Mostly a fun watch. 4.321/5

Cocktail of the Week: Trader Steve's Lemon Gin Refresher

1 1/2 oz Old Tom Gin

3/4 oz Limoncello

1/2 oz Fresh-Squeezed Lemon Juice

Trader Joe's Lemon & Ginger Seltzer

Pour the gin, limoncello, and lemon juice in a Collins glass over ice. Stir to combine and top with the seltzer.

Cocktail Grade: A very refreshing spin on the classic Collins. Good flavor. Easy to drink. Makes you happy. 5/5

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John Steele comes home after a variety of oonflict, both war-related and interpersonal, during the Vietnam war. Emotional damage that doesn't really come across due to leading man Martin Kove's resting confused face has led Steele to lose his wife, his career and his sobriety. When his BFF and former Army partner, Lee, is killed by an old war-era nemesis, "Steele is Back" and unleashed on a Vietnamese crime syndicate.

A million movie tropes mash-up to create this Rambo/Commando/Die Hard combo, except with Martin Kove rather than Stallone/Schwarzenegger/Willis. Bodies by Jake. Lots of guns. A cool Gatlin gun truck. A rubber Coral snake on a fishing line.

Steele Justice final grade:

Steve calls this a fine movie, inoffensive and watchable by anyone who enjoys 80's era action. Pretty standard Reagan-era USA! USA! hero action. 3.41/5.0

Brandon says Steele Justice is a perfectly OK movie to watch. Basically the same storyline and production quality of every Stallone/Schwarzenegger/Norris movie of the 1980s. Unfortunately, Martin Kove can't carry a movie like those other guys. 3.00/5

Cocktail of the Week: Steele Justice

1 1/2 oz Tequila

1/2 oz Light Rum

2 oz Fresh-Squeezed Grapefruit Juice

1 oz Fresh-Squeezed Lime Juice

1 oz oz Honey Syrup

1/2 oz Egg White

Combine all ingredients in a cocktail shaker without ice. Dry shake a few times. Add ice and shake again. Double strain (all about that mouth feel) over ice in a rocks glass. Garnish with a grapefruit wedge.

Cocktail Grade: A great way to enjoy a grapefruit without a partner. A tasty sour that packs a little punch. One of them is good. Two are really good. 4.69/5

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After catching up on some youth sports, we try to figure out if the ARC Thrift Shops in the Denver Metro area are reuse/recycle centers or just a huge garbage can.

Nutcracker Massacre: A sentient, ambulatory nutcracker kills people as it tries to find its own version of the Sugarplum Fairy. Apparently it's animated by some jewels that some dude ate one time 100 years ago. Ten minutes of exposition in the middle of the movie does all the work in making you understand how/why this is happening. One guy gets his nuts ripped off with a nutcracker. The evil creature should have been able to talk.

Nutcracker Massacre final grade:

Steve didn't even like the premise of this one. Too much drama made a movie that was already not going to cut it even worse. 2.09/5.0

Brandon At one point, it looked like this movie might hit the right spots as a "silly thing comes to life and kills people in funny ways" kinda movie, but that only happened once. The rest of it was pretty boring. 2.27/5.0

Cocktail of the Week: Spiced Cranberry Bourbon

2 oz Bourbon

1 oz Unsweetened Cranberry Juice

1/2 oz Orange Liqueur

1/2 oz Spiced Cranberry Syrup

Combine ingredients in a mixing glass. Stir to chill and combine. Strain over ice in a rocks glass. Garnish with a handful of cranberries, a cinnamon stick, and/or a dried orange wheel, if you've got one.

Cocktail Grade: Looks, smells, and tastes like Christmas in a glass. Great flavor that's perfect for enjoying around the Yule Log. Highly recommended for making this movie or holiday gatherings more palatable. 4.9/5

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Hockey. Zombies. Grapefruit-flavored vodka. What would possibly go wrong? Turns out, quite a bit actually. These kids should have stayed home, drank some Grain Belt, and played Duck, Duck, Gray Duck.

We bring a special guest on board for this week's screening of what turns out to be...just a terrible dumpster fire of a movie. Not the State of Minnesota's finest hour. At least it's filmed in the US, so Steve can pronounce the names. Cocktail of the Week

Pink Whitney Martini

1 1/2 oz Pink Whitney Vodka

1/2 oz Limoncello

1 oz simple syrup

1 1/2 oz lemon juice It's been a long time since we've had a drink this college-y. Our expert guest, Emma, describes it as "college in a bottle" and that sounds about right. It reminds Brandon of 20 years ago, when people used to mix UV vodka with lemonade. But, this one passes its 100-level courses with a C-grade, and you know what they say, "Cs get degrees." Notes about this episode:

The Austin Bruins are a NAHL team in Austin, MN. The NAHL is a Tier II (out of three), USA Hockey-sanctioned, junior hockey league. With a 4.6-star Google rating, their home arena, Riverside Arena, is by far the highest-rated feature of this movie.

The Spam Museum in Austin, MN is a great place to spend your Spring Break if you are a fan of the ubiquitous canned pork product, which Brandon was surprised to find is not made of pig ears and hooves.

Barry Melrose has a semi-protected Wikipedia entry that does not include his heroic role in this movie. If you have a confirmed Wiki account, you should go on there and correct this oversight. We're not going to the trouble to get confirmed, but he shouldn't be allowed to hide from this abomination.

Leave that five-star review here on Spotify.

Contact us with feedback or cocktail/movie recommendations to:

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Watching our first-ever vampire movie. Eat Locals is a horr-medy from the #UK with lots of gun fire and several vampires reduced to nothing butt dust.

The vampires than run the British Isles have a meeting to coordinate their way of life. Turns out, one of them has been doing stuff they shouldn't, so they have to kill the guy. Enter Sebastian, a regular human who gets a chance to join their little troupe. Unfortunately, vamp in-fighting, and a small army of vampire hunters short-circuits his pledge/initiation process. Now this plucky gang of the undead have to fight their way out by sunrise.

Eat Locals final grade:

Steve had a hard time following the characters for a bit, but enjoyed the movie overall. Another movie trying to do a little too much balancing on the Horror vs Comedy line. Also had little too much slapstick, but the acting was good and Jason Flemyng showed promise as a director. 3.9/5.0

Brandon another "perfectly fine" movies that demonstrates competent acting, cinematography and production quality. Some good British humor and physical comedy. Unfortunately for Eat Locals, being in this streak of movies that are done professionally actually works against them. 3.41/5

Cocktail of the Week: Shrunken Skull

1 oz Demerara Rum

1 oz Light Rum

1 oz Fresh-Squeezed Lime Juice

1 oz oz Fancy Grenadine, not the Rose's Brand garbage

Shake all ingredients in a cocktail shaker with ice. Strain over ice in a rocks glass. No garnish required.

Cocktail Grade: A sweet cocktail that packs a punch. Definitely would not be as good with a lower-quality grenadine, so click the link to see how Steve made it. 4.78/5

https://youtu.be/CvEDhkR6K14?si=9axLXWGD3NZ2E7sE&t=239

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We're going to recognize St. Patrick's Day with some Irish cinema, not watching some shit movie like Leprechaun 2 or something.

Irish/English Dictionary

Poitín - Moonshine. Stovetop distillery. Don't worry about it. It's just for the cows.

Craic - Merry-making, revelry

Garda(i) - Police Officer(s)

Some projectile from space crashes into the ocean off the coast of Ireland. The local Gardai decide they have to deal with this one themselves, to prevent widespread panic. So they team up with a drunk fisherman to fight off the menace. Luckily, alcohol is poisonous to these creatures, so they can be defeated by the craic.

Ciceáil Éire asal eachtrannach.

Grabbers Final Grades:

Both guys consider this to be a perfectly good movie. The acting, effects, set design, etc. were all well done. Nothing hokey or corny about this one. Much more of a legitimately done movie than what we've been watching recently. Pretty standard, inoffensive horr-medy.

Steve ~3 of 5

Brandon's ~4 of 5, because he likes movies made outside the US more than Steve does.

Cocktail of the Week: Tipperary

2 oz Irish Whiskey, ours made in Glendalough, County Wicklow

1/2 ounce sweet vermouth

1/4 oz Green Chartreuse, or cheaper knockoff

2 dashes Angostura bitters

Combine/stir ingredients in a mixing glass. Strain into a chilled martini glass. Express lemon oil on top of cocktail. Garnish with Luxardo cherries. Another good cocktail, easily sippable. 4.2/5

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After a couple weeks off due to illnesses running through our houses, we're back and better than ever. Youth sports, politics, and home maintenance are on the agenda this week. We also discuss our new nemesis, Shakira.

Murder Party: Some loser knob shows up at a "Murder Party" that he knows nothing about with people he's never met, but the guy is a lonely sad-sack who just wants a friend. Turns out, the party is put on by a bunch of artist douchebags who are actually looking to murder someone in an "artistic" manner. Who dies? Unfortunately not the entire cast, only most of them.

CarousHell final grade:

Steve This one is on the bottom end of meh. I could watch it again. I won't, but I could. There is humor there, if you're paying attention. Costume effects were good. A very average movie, exceeding the below average budget. 2.17/5.0

Brandon To quote the movie, "Banal. Jejune. The artistic representation of a dial tone." Not enough humor or action in the first 85% of the movie to make it worth working through to get to the end bit. Steve says there is some humor there, but I don't want to pay close enough attention to get it. 1.47/5.0

Cocktail of the Week: Skeleton Key

1 1/4 oz Bourbon

3/4 oz Elderflower Liqueur

1/2 oz Fresh-Squeezed Lemon Juice

1 TBSP Angostura Bitters

Ginger Beer

Angostura Bitters

Combine all non-ginger beer ingredients in a cocktail shaker. Shake to chill and combine. Serve over rocks in a Collins glass. Drizzle bitters over the top to create dripping blood effect.

Cocktail Grade: Not a bad cocktail, but nothing to write home about. Adding a little more lemon juice to subsequent rounds and stirring the bitters in before drinking made it more palatable. Overall, a straight sour or Mule cocktail is probably preferable to combining the two. 3.5/5

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First, we catch up on our weeks of family activities, the usual hockey and gymnastics. Jeez, guys, get a life. Brandon airs some grievances with his #1 nemesis, Denver's RTD system. Night of the Demons: A bunch of high school kids attend a party thrown by a "weirdo," or as Steve calls her, "a misunderstood goth." Unfortunately these kids' attempts to do the 1988-version of Netflix-and-chill in an abandoned funeral home are thwarted by a super-scary demon brought to life by a seance that the weirdo just had to perform. Who will survive? Surprisingly enough, the "token black guy" doesn't die! Good for you, Rog.

Night of the Demons final grade:

Steve didn't like it. Synthesizer music was lame and reminiscent of bad sci-fi. Movie wasn't scary or funny. Fine to watch, but whatever. 2.5/5.0

Brandon Another "perfectly average" movie, which has inexplicably been given the name of "cult classic." Main character Judy, had the right idea taking a nap for the first half of this one. Going to give it an extra tenth over Steve's grade because the cocktails hit a little harder on a "fasting" day. 2.6/5

Cocktail of the Week: The Demon's Head

2 oz Empress 1908 Gin

1 oz Orange Liqueur

3/4 oz fresh-squeezed lime juice

Pour gin in a rocks glass over ice. Add orange liqueur and lime juice to a cocktail shaker and shake until chilled. Add liqueur and juice to glass. What Steve calls "density difference" should result in a green-ish bottom layer and a purple top layer.

Cocktail Grade: Punched in the face by a floral monster. If you stir the drink the fist is inside a light glove. No a bad drink, but not for gin-haters or people who prefer their drinks on the sweeter side. 3.5/5

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A Schwarzenegger-style action movie with more goofiness and fewer steroids. Fictional countries are at odds. One of them hires the Megaforce, a band of skilled, highly-armed mercenaries to handle their dirty work for them. Plans go awry. The Expendables meets Spies Like Us.

Silly, unrealistic effects, like a flying motorcycle with 7" wings with no more flight controls than one man's hopes and dreams. Sweet dune buggies. Repurposed Death Cycles from Deathsport. More rockets than an eight-year-old boy could dream of. The old guy from Knight Rider. What more could you ask for?

A charming offering from the 80s. But what is intentionally campy or did it just miss the mark on a real action movie? Who knows? Doesn't matter anyway. The good guys win, even in the 80s. 'Merica.

Megaforce Final Grades

Steve: An above average addition to the subgenre. Dad jokes abound. Sweet dune buggies. 3/5

Brandon These silly 80s goofball action movies are finding a special place in this movie watcher's heart. This one was a little more family-friendly than the Roger Corman flicks of a similar style, meaning...less boobs. The motorcycles are painted like tigers. 3.57/5

Cocktail of the Week: The Freedom Martini

2 oz Vodka

1/2 oz Raspberry Liqueur

1 1/2 oz Pineapple Juice

Shake ingredients in a martini shaker. Strain into frosted martini glasses.

Cocktail Grade: A fine little martini option. Good flavors, not too sweet. Maybe a hint of caramel on the back end, unless that's just the effect of using a 20-year-old bottle of liqueur?

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Grab your swords and your g-strings. Leave your sense of decorum and knowledge of normal human interaction behind. The Samurai Cop and his partner, Frank, are taking on the Katana Gang and they will not rest until that group of scum has been shut down. The only question is, can the Samurai Cop tear himself way from the women who can't help but throw themselves at him long enough to stop drugs being sold to kids and money being put into Swiss Bank accounts?

This movie careened so fast into the "horrible movie" end of the spectrum that it actually warped the fabric of the spacetime continuum and somehow managed to end up being highly entertaining.

Samurai Cop Final Grade:

Steve - Easy Top Shelf

Brandon - Eventually agreed with the Top Shelf designation after some careful deliberation

Cocktail of the Week:

Gingered Samurai Martini

3 oz vodka (h/t Bear Creek Distillery)

2 oz Plum Wine

1 oz ginger liqueur

1 oz lime juice

-------------

Shake the ingredients in a cocktail shaker, strain into a chilled martini glass, and try not to Contact us with feedback or cocktail/movie recommendations to:

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We pick up where we left off in Episode 3, with Martin trying to escape the Nazi Draug. This time, he gets a little help from a crack squad of American zombie hunters. USA! USA!

This one has more blood, more intestines and more humor than the first Dead Snow. If only Tommy Wirkola had left the last five minutes out.

Brandon stumbles his way through the podcast's first #German language movie review. But, anything to diversify the show's demographic reach, right?

Dead Snow Red vs Dead Final Grade:

Steve - Top Shelf

Brandon - Top Shelf

Both of the guys agree that we could have done without the weird zombie-sex scene at the end. That didn't quite hit right.

Cocktail of the Week:

White Russian (Fancy Version)

2 oz vodka (h/t Bear Creek Distillery)

2 oz coffee liqueur

Splash of Vanilla Syrup

Whipping cream

-------------

Stir vodka and liqueur together over ice in a rocks glass . Froth syrup and cream and float on top to make your White Russian look a little fancier than what Jeffery Lebowski makes.

Steve has, surprisingly, never had a White Russian before, but maybe that's because Brandon drank them all around the turn of the century. Both the guys give the White Russian a positive review. Contact us with feedback or cocktail/movie recommendations to:

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X: @boozeandbmovies

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Taking on a "psycho killers in the woods" movie written and produced by our friends in the UK, although it was filmed in Hungary, a country most well-known as the home of the Vizsla dog breed.

We've never actually heard the full "rectum, damn near killed 'em" joke. Maybe there is no such thing. But if there is, it must have something to do with the way Steve...the fictional one in this movie...killed one of this movie's bad guys.

As with many of movies of this type, if you're traveling and some local dude tells you something along the lines of, "get the hell out of here," go ahead and listen, mmmkay? #LifeHack

Severance Final Grade:

Steve - Borderline Mid/Top Shelf

Brandon - Borderline Mid/Top Shelf

We think we're going to need a more fine-tuned rating system. Three levels just isn't going to cut it.

Cocktail of the Week:

Flame Thrower

2 oz Tequila Blanco

1 oz Orange Liqueur

3/4 oz fresh-squeezed lime juice

1 3/4-ish oz Strawberry/Jalapeno Puree

1/4 oz Simple Syrup

-------------

Combine all ingredients in cocktail shaker and shake over ice. Strain into rocks glasses.

Neither of the guys believes they have had a "spicy" cocktail before. Steve likes this one, but Brandon doesn't think beverages are his preferred delivery system for spicy stuff. Might be worth trying it with a little less jalapeno, and a little more simple syrup.

------------- Thanks to @germanonliners on Instagram for the new words: Saufkumpan(in) and Sauftbruder. Contact us with feedback or cocktail/movie recommendations to:

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Happy New Year! We hope you had a great holiday season and are ready to kick 2024's ass.

We're kicking off the new year with Peter Jackson's (yes, THAT Peter Jackson) first feature-length project, a good tasting bit of "splat-stick" comedy/sci-fi about aliens who have some to Earth to find ingredients for a fast food chain...the man-meat kind thing.

This one is very well-done, especially when you consider the shoe-string budget, lack of a script, and that all the props were homemade. Plenty of blood and guts, and the 80s vibes pair well with the #NewZealand backdrop.

Bad Taste final grade:

Steve - Top Shelf

Brandon - Top Shelf

Cocktail of the Week:

Green Goddess

2 oz Gin
1/2 oz Elderflower liqueur
1/2 oz simple syrup
3/4 oz fresh-squeezed lime juice
1 kiwi
-------
Muddle kiwi with simple syrup in a cocktail shaker. Add the remaining ingredients, then shake over ice to chill. Pour, do not strain, contents into a high all glass. Top with club soda and garnish with kiwi slice. Notes about this episode:

This movie was filmed on the weekends over a three/four-year period. You've gotta commend those hard-working Kiwis for sticking with a project like that.

Migration is the South Pacific was really incredible. The Maori people, and other Austronesian peoples were doing shit Christopher Columbus could only dream off 500-1,000 years before him.

The nickname "Kiwi" for New Zealanders is derived from the bird, not the fruit.

Contact us with feedback or cocktail/movie recommendations to:

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X: @boozeandbmovies

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First, Steve shares the feelings he has deep in his heart for #orthodontists and we go over the CSU Lady Rams Hockey season-opening victory over the University of Denver. Then, on to the movie... Maniac Cop features a cop who is a maniac, killing innocents. But, even though we find out he has severe brain damage, he's smart enough to know he needs a fall guy on whom to pin these murders. So, he frames another dude who also has a sizeable chin, Jack Forrest. Unfortunately, the NYPD's greatest detective somehow knows that the patsy isn't actually committing the crimes, and he teams up with Forrest to find the real killer.

Maniac Cop final grade:

Steve Formulaic, middle-of-the road movie. It's not the worst movie you could watch, but if you don't see it, that's fine too. 2.5/5.0

Brandon Nothing about this movie is particularly memorable or interesting. It's a fine movie to space out in front of the TV with if you like watching dudes get stabbed with a tiny sword or chucked out windows. 2.5/5

Cocktail of the Week: Whiskey Smash

2 oz Whiskey

3/4 oz Simple Syrup

Three lemon wedges

A handful of fresh mint

Drop three lemon wedges into a cocktail shaker with 4-6 mint leaves. Muddle them together, then add the bourbon and simple syrup. Shake to combine and chill, then double strain into a rocks glass over ice. Garnish with a sprig of mint.

Cocktail Grade: Very lemony. Probably used too much lemon. Like, if Vitamin C were personified into a monster the size of the Incredible Hulk and Hulk Smashed you in the face. 3/5

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What if the scene in Office Space where they destroyed the printer was expanded to include violent attacks against the rest of the office workers? This is apparently the premise the writers here started with.

Employees at a weapons manufacturing company get dosed with an energy drink that turns them all into bloodthirsty psychopaths. A decent cast. Some good zingers. A fair amount of violence, but a lot of the potential for some good gore happens off-screen. Not necessarily a movie to avoid, but if you do watch it, temper your expectations.

Office Uprising Final Grade:

Steve was a little more impressed with this movie than Brandon was. The cast was solid. The premise was interesting. This movie was sufficiently entertaining to be an average offering. 2.8/5

Brandon's expectations/hopes were not met by this movie. It was a romantic comedy at heart, didn't lean enough into the gore and most of the one-liners didn't land. 2.5/5

Cocktail of the Week:

Hot Totty aka Nature's Medicine

2 oz Spiced Rum

1/4 oz Lemon Juice

1/4 oz Honey

Top with hot water

Combine all ingredients in a coffee mug. Garnish with a lemon slice, a cinnamon stick and maybe some whole cloves if you like.

Classic at-home remedy if you're out of cough medicine. Tastes great, and good for you. 4/5 ------------------ Contact us with feedback or cocktail/movie recommendations to:

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Now that it's been one full revolution around the sun for this podcast, we thought we'd start this episode off with a little look back on the year, and give you the short version of our Five Favorite and Five Least-Favorite movies of Year 1. So, we did.

Black Friday: Zombie-like Black Friday shoppers out to beat their fellow man/woman into the linoleum for the latest and cheapest toys are ACTUALLY zombies, or some kind of alien creature that also want to kill you. An aging retail "cool guy," the store's "clever cute girl," and the "staff weirdo germophobe" have to take on this alien invasion under the guidance of their douchey store management.

Black Friday final grade:

Steve Overall a forgettable movie. Not a disappointing movie to watch. Family-friendly. Nice to see management get their comeuppances, but a 2.52/5.0

Brandon This is another kinda cookie-cutter flick with competent acting, a decent budget, good costuming. But comparing it with some of the other movies we've watched in that "tier" it didn't quite stack up. 2.5/5.0

Cocktail of the Week: Tom Turkey Collins

2 oz Gin

1 oz Fresh-Squeezed Lemon Juice

1/2 oz Cranberry Simple Syrup

Club Soda or Sparkling Water Combine the non-fizzy ingredients in a cocktail shaker. Shake to chill and combine then strain over rocks in a Collins glass. Top with the Soda or Sparkling Water. Garnish with some cranberries and a lemon wheel. Enjoy.

Cocktail Grade: Another light refreshing spin on the classic Collins. Just a hint of cranberry. Light, easy to drink after a day of heavy eating. 4.25/5

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Back after a three-week sabbatical, with what is probably the best podcast we've recorded. There's a little bit of catching up to do in this one. We've got some talk about getaways to #Wisconsin and the #RockyMountain and bar/restaurant experiences on the road.

FYI, Brandon does not "play fast and loose" with the rules of golf as Steve says. He counts his score the way he's supposed to, otherwise how would he spend four hours outside irritating himself?

Fatal Games: Olympic hopefuls prepare for a national tournament with hopes of qualifying for #TeamUSA. A mysterious figure starts killing them one-by-one. Why? You won't find out until minute 86 of this 88-minute smorgasbord of man-butts and lady-mullets.

Fatal Games final grade:

Steve This movie is horrible, but not the worst. Having a trans homicidal maniac makes this movie woke. Not even the nudity can make this one watchable. 1/5

Brandon Characters not worth caring about. Some of the important things that make a movie good are missing, like the bad guy's backstory not appearing until the movie was over. The East German Judge gives this one a 1.2/5

Cocktail of the Week: French 75

1 oz Gin

1/2 oz Fresh-Squeezed Lemon Juice

1/2 oz Simple Syrup

Champagne/Prosecco/Sparking Wine/Bubbles of Your Choice Combine non-bubbly ingredients in a cocktail shaker and shake to combine. Strain into a champagne flute. Top with bubbly. Garnish with a twist of lemon.

Cocktail Grade: A classic cocktail for a reason. Refreshing, easy-to-drink. You can dial down the simple syrup if you're using a sweeter/dolce/demi-sec sparkling ingredient. French.75/5

------------------ Contact us with feedback or cocktail/movie recommendations to: boozeandbmovies@gmail.com X: @boozeandbmovies Instagram: @boozeandbmovies Threads: @boozeandbmovies www.facebook.com/boozeandbmovies

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Off to Scotland this week.

Four secondary school students (two delinquents, one street-tough poseur rapper wanna-be, and a diligent hardworker) are set off in the wilderness on the Duke of Edinburgh Award program. One of them wants to do a good job to pad his CV, the other three want to screw around and get high. You may be familiar with the setup.

The four soon find themselves in the crosshairs of an upper crust psycho whose annual sport is to kill the ne'er-do'wells who are sent out on this expedition. Hallucinogenic rabbit feces. Wackiness ensues. Social commentaries are made.

The movie has a hard time mixing the "psychological thriller" genre with the "goofball comedy" genre and end up offering a fairly inoffensive product. It is entertaining, though.

Get Duked Final Grades

Steve: Another middle of the road movie. It's a reasonable movie to watch, so don't avoid it, but there's nothing particularly noteworthy about it. Relatively family friendly. Calling this a "horror" movie is a stretch. 3/5

Brandon One of a handful of movies that don't stir a strong reaction for or against. Production quality is good. If the sense of humor in this movie suits you, you'll enjoy it. 3/5

Cocktail of the Week: Rusty Nail

2 2/3 oz Scotch Whisky

1 1/3 oz Drambuie

Cocktail Grade: Essentially a Scottish Old Fashioned. Whiskey base and the Drambuie serves as a sort of Old Fashioned Mix. There are different theories on how to proportion the cocktail, so do what you want. The Drambuie is pretty honey-heavy and very sweet, so perhaps go with a stronger whisky pour than we did. Easy to mix, easy to drink. 5/5

------------------ Contact us with feedback or cocktail/movie recommendations to: boozeandbmovies@gmail.com X: @boozeandbmovies Instagram: @boozeandbmovies Threads: @boozeandbmovies www.facebook.com/boozeandbmovies

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Close your eyes and picture the 1980s. Well, don't close them because you have to keep reading. What do you see and hear? Aquanet? Bangs? A magazine hidden under a teenage boy's bed? High-pitched male vocals? Nunchucks?

Playboy Playmates...I mean Angels...I mean highly-skilled operatives of "The Agency" take down a presumably-notorious Kingpin. It's not paradise all the time. Unfortunately, investigation isn't LETHAL's strong suit, so we never really have any dots connected. But this movie is jam-packed with what The Agency does specialize in, explosions, gun fights, bikinis and boobs.

Hard Ticket Final Grades

Steve: Mid-Tier, middle of the road, perfectly average. Excellent soundtrack. Watchable. 50% 2.5/5

Brandon found a certain charm in the 1980s nostalgia and he has a soft spot for blow-up dolls that blow up and a toilet snake that can only be killed by a bazooka round to the face. Above average. 69% 3.45/5

Cocktail of the Week: Tom Collins

2 ounce Old Tom Gin

1 ounce fresh-squeezed lemon juice.

1 rich simple syrup

Combine/shake ingredients in a cocktail shaker with ice. Strain, over ice, into tall/Collins glass. Top with Club Soda. Garnish with a lemon wheel and some Luxardo cherries. An all-time classic. Tastes like summer. 4.9/5

------------------ Contact us with feedback or cocktail/movie recommendations to: boozeandbmovies@gmail.com X: @boozeandbmovies Instagram: @boozeandbmovies Threads: @boozeandbmovies www.facebook.com/boozeandbmovies

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What would you do if you had $2000 burning a hole in your pocket, access to a university office building for a few hours, and eight friends who all had nothing better to do at the same time? Probably make a movie better than this.

Glenn Berggoetz is a magician who, through persuasion or spiked drinks, convinces a few other people to spend a beautiful, sunny Colorado day "filming" a travesty that he wrote, directed and produced. With all the hiking, cycling, and craft breweries within a short drive of the Metropolitan State University of Denver, there were a plethora of better options to waste an afternoon.

Glenn Berggoetz plays an English professor who "fights" bad guys. "Writing" that only amuse Glenn. Glenn wins. Society loses.

To Die Is Hard Final Grades

Steve: Always looking for silver linings, "Eternal Optimist" Steve says Glenn deserves some credit for production value, and praises the movie for being well lit and audible. But, he also didn't actively watch most of it. .75/5

Brandon would gladly be in a future Glenn Berggoetz production if he films another one within three kilometers of his house. Agreement all around that the movie featured good lighting and sound quality, but would have preferred if the movie could be neither seen nor heard. .67/5

Cocktail of the Week: Wisconsin Old Fashioned

2 oz Brandy

Orange slice

Maraschino Cherries

A sugar cube

Lemon-lime soda

Muddle orange slice, cherries and sugar in a rocks glass. Add brandy quantity of your preference. Stir to combine. Top with your favorite lemon-lime soda. Garnish with additional orange wedge, more cherries and some of that sweet, sweet "cherry juice." Call your health care provider's scheduling line and make an appointment to get your A1C checked.

Cocktail Grade: A sugar bomb that will have the ghost of Wilford Brimley haunting your nightmares. But you know what, screw that guy. The residents and supper clubs of the Great State of Wisconsin know better. 126 mg/dl out of 5.0

------------------ Contact us with feedback or cocktail/movie recommendations to: boozeandbmovies@gmail.com X: @boozeandbmovies Instagram: @boozeandbmovies Threads: @boozeandbmovies www.facebook.com/boozeandbmovies

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In the spirit of last weeks "Top/Bottom Movies Lists," we give you a rundown the absolute best and worst cocktails from Year 1. Stay tuned to our socials for recipes to the best cocktails we've tried and throw them together for yourselves to celebrate the Yuletide season.

The Killing Tree: A man who is executed for committing the murders of people he considers "insolent and opulent" is necromanced by his wife. Much to his shagrin, he finds, upon his resurrection, that she used a tree in the ceremony and now, rather than a human body, he's an artificial Christmas tree. He is displeased with the development, but it does give him the opportunity to get revenge on the person who wronged him.

The Killing Tree final grade:

Steve A chick-flick masquerading as a horror movie. A more competent film-maker could have made a real Thankskilling-style phenomenon with this concept, but Rhys Frake-Waterfield isn't that, so he didn't. 3.28/5.0

Brandon A really strong premise for a ridiculous "silly thing you could make kill people" movie. Unfortunately, it doesn't reach its potential. Not enough tree. 3.27/5.0

Cocktail of the Week: Coffee Old Fashioned

2 oz Bourbon

1/2 oz Coffee Liqueur

1/4 oz Simple Syrup

Angostura Bitters

Combine ingredients in a mixing glass. Stir to chill and combine. Strain over ice in a rocks glass. Garnish with a twist of orange.

Cocktail Grade: Might be worthy of replacing your morning coffee. A great way to warm up your insides in front of a fire or a Christmas tree, preferably one what won't come to life and kill you. 4/5

------------------ Contact us with feedback or cocktail/movie recommendations to: boozeandbmovies@gmail.com X: @boozeandbmovies Instagram: @boozeandbmovies Threads: @boozeandbmovies www.facebook.com/boozeandbmovies

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An alternate (true?) historical account of FDR's rise to power and Allied victory in WWII. Franklin Delano Roosevelt is stricken with Polio as the result of a werewolf bite, but that doesn't stop him from leading his Party and the Country like a real BADASS! Bullets fly, hot dogs are appreciated and cacks still work. This one was a lot of fun. Unlimited ridiculousness, lots of laughs, America Wins. FDR: American Badass! Final Grades: Steve "liked it a lot" and gives it "high marks" for historical accuracy and sneaky joke-making you find if you're paying attention. 5/5 Brandon's calls it "the best movie we've watched in a while." Perhaps this flick should become a President's Day tradition. 5/5 Cacktail of the Week: FDR's Wet Cack Martini 2 oz Gin 1/2 oz Dry Vermouth A couple dashes of orange bitters Combine all ingredients in a mixing glass with ice. Strain into martini glass. Garnish as you like. We used skewered olives, expressed lemon oil from a bit of lemon peel. Not bad as far as martinis go. The orange bitters help balance the gin botanicals. ------------------ Contact us with feedback or cocktail/movie recommendations to: boozeandbmovies@gmail.com X: @boozeandbmovies Instagram: @boozeandbmovies Threads: @boozeandbmovies www.facebook.com/boozeandbmovies

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Maybe if we watch a movie from #Ireland, more Irish folks with tune in, huh? Or maybe since it's from Northern Ireland, it doesn't count? Who knows? We're just trying to get a listener from Connacht anyway.

We've also got a special guest with us this week, one of our most enthusiastic listeners, probably because she's Brandon's sister and is just being nice and supportive. But, it is nice to have someone else to talk to.

Boys From County Hell: When the construction of a highway bypass disturbs the site of an ancient Irish scary creature, the Abhartach, is released on the nearby population. The guy can suck the blood right outta ya from 100 yards away, unless you're an important character in the movie.

Boys From County Hell final grade:

Steve A middle of the road movie for me. It's too well-done to rate any higher than average on our scale of budget vs shittyness vs accidental awesomeness. Points deducted for competent filmmaking. 3.1/5.0

Brandon A well-done movie that hits the right notes on my subjective and fluid list of requirements. Ridiculous scenes, enough successful jokes. Bonus points for not being made in the US. 4.0/5.0

Amanda Not the type of movie I usually watch, but this one was pretty good. Got some laughs. I wonder if fictional pub "The Stoker" has good fish-n-chips? Don't want to give the same score my brother did, because he's a big poopy head, so 3.99/5.0

Cocktail of the Week: Vampire's Kiss

1 1/2 oz Vodka

1 oz Chambord, old-ass or otherwise

1/2 oz Fresh-Squeezed Lemon Juice

1/2 oz Cranberry Juice 1/2 oz Fancy-ass Grenadine Brandon's mom's raspberry jelly

Rim a martini glass with Brandon's Mom's Raspberry Jelly, if you can get ahold of it, or use your own. Combine everything in a cocktail shaker. Shake to chill and combine. Serve in a martini glass. Chill the glass if you want. Double strain it if you want. Whatever.

Cocktail Grade: A decent-enough cocktail that maybe be negatively impacted by the fact that Steve's bottle of Chambord is from the Reagan Administration. 3.8/5

------------------ Contact us with feedback or cocktail/movie recommendations to: boozeandbmovies@gmail.com X: @boozeandbmovies Instagram: @boozeandbmovies Threads: @boozeandbmovies www.facebook.com/boozeandbmovies

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The Spotify website is down at the moment, so I'm uploading this from my phone. You're not gonna get much of a description. The mythology of of this one is that Santa is actually a demon who lost a bet and is forced to be nice for 1000 years. But, now that time is up. and he can go back to killing everyone, like he used to. Santa's Slay Final Grades Steve says he liked this one more than he wanted to or thought he would. The main character's relationship with his grandpa tugs at the heart strings. 3.74/5 Brandon agrees this movie was better than expected, but still can't seem to get his thoughts together to come up with a firm opinion one wy or the other. Maybe that's the martinis. 3.28/5 Cocktail of the Week The Nice List 1 1/2 oz Vodka 1/2 oz Peach Mead 1/2 oz Orange Liqueur 1/2 oz Fresh-squeezed Lemon Juice 1/2 oz Spiced Cranberry Syrup (recipe below) Mix all ingredients in a cocktail shaker. Shake to chill and combine. Double strain into a chilled martini glass. Garnish with whatever you have on hand, lemon wheels, cranberries, whatever. A nice little seasonal cocktail. The spiced cranberry syrup is the star of this one, adding a unique flavor profile that makes you think of fall. 3.52/5 Spiced Cranberry Syrup Simmer 1 1/2 cups of unsweetened cranberry juice with several cardamom pods, a bunch of whole cloves, and a cinnamon stick for about 20-30 mins. Remove from hear, discard spices, and stir in one cup of sugar. Let us know what you thought of this one @boozeandbmovies on X, Threads, Instagram, or whatever else. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/boozeandbmovies/support

Is this movie a critique of corporate greed? Street gangs running amok? The evils of gladiator-style death matches for entertainment? Who friggin' knows? The people that brought us Dragonfight didn't seem to care enough to tell us. We assume this movie is about something, but you can't tell by watching it.

You can tell how bad a movie is based on how many times Steve sighs while watching and discussing it. This one was off the charts.

Dragonfight Final Grade:

Steve - A bar rag soaked in sink-drain .6/5

Brandon - Choose a maximum number of stars, then give this movie one of them. 1/5

Cocktail of the Week:

Dragon's Breath

2 oz Bourbon

1/4 oz Elderflower Liqueur

1/4 oz Orange Liqueur

1/4 oz Simple Syrup

A couple dashes of orange bitters

Combine all ingredients in mixing glass and stir over ice. Strain into brandy snifters with a large ice rock. ------------------ We served ours in a smoked brandy snifter, because we're that kind of crowd. This drink is basically just a fancy Old Fashioned, and it was a damn fine version of one. Highly recommend. 4.8/5

------------------ Contact us with feedback or cocktail/movie recommendations to:

boozeandbmovies@gmail.com

X: @boozeandbmovies

Instagram: @boozeandbmovies Threads: @boozeandbmovies www.facebook.com/boozeandbmovies

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It may be hard to believe, but Podcast Guest Host Emma is an even better hockey player than she is a podcast personality! If you'd like to support her and the Arizona State Women's hockey team, a club-level program that has to pay its own way, as they compete for the ACHA DI National Championship, click the link here #ForksUp:

https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-send-asu-womens-hockey-to-2024-nationals

ON TO THE MOVIE

In a dystopian future (circa Y2K) highly-skilled racers distract the masses by racing across the North American continent and running people over with their tricked-out cars on live TV. But, is there an underground movement that could bring this evil regime to its knees? Perhaps. Will it take more than some poster board and black curtains to free the subjugated masses? No.

Death Race 2000 Final Grades:

Both of the guys consider this to be a slightly above average offering. The writing wasn't great. The effects weren't "special." But there was a good deal to laugh at with the wordplay and sight gags.

Cocktail of the Week: Hastily Improvised Death Race 2 oz Vodka 1 oz orange liqueur

Club soda Combine vodka and orange liqueur in a mixing glass with ice. Pour into a Collins glass and top with club soda. Garnish with an orange slice and pour a little grenadine on top. Sweetening it a bit with some simple syrup on later versions did improve it a bit.

------------------

Notes about this episode

In case you didn't know, the star of this week's film, David Carradine, accidentally hanged himself back in 2009. Be safe out there, consenting adults. #RIP ------------------ Contact us with feedback or cocktail/movie recommendations to: boozeandbmovies@gmail.com X: @boozeandbmovies Instagram: @boozeandbmovies Threads: @boozeandbmovies www.facebook.com/boozeandbmovies

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Staying above the Arctic Circle, but hopping to the east to visit Finland for our Christmas Spectacular. This week, we'll learn about the Joulopukki and the Nuutipukki, as well as stuff you can put in a bottle of vodka to make it taste...better?

This movie earns a solid "Top Shelf" rating from the guys, despite being light on the blood and guts. It's a very well-made movie with an interesting holiday mythology. Be prepared to read subtitles.

Cocktail(s) of the Week - Holiday Double Feature

Salmiakki Koskenkorva

A bunch of Tyrkisk Peber candy crushed up & dissolved in vodka. Brandon gives this one a C, Steve drops an F on it.

Lonkero

2 oz gin

2 oz white grapefruit juice

3 oz grapefruit soda

1 oz lemon juice

Top w/ Club Soda & Garnish w/ grapefruit wedge

This cocktail gets an A-grade all around. A star of the 1952 Olympics has still got it. Notes about this episode:

Rare Exports Shorts are available to watch on YouTube. Check them out. They provide some additional context to the movie.

Salmiakki is a black licorice-based candy, enhanced with ammonium chloride, that has positive benefits as a cough medicine. So, even if you "hate" the flavor, as Steve does, try drinking it for your health. And if you're from Finland, don't be offended, liking it doesn't really mean you have "no taste."

Leave that five-star review here on Spotify.

Contact us with feedback or cocktail/movie recommendations to:

boozeandbmovies@gmail.com

X: @boozeandbmovies

Instagram: @boozeandbmovies Threads: @boozeandbmovies www.facebook.com/boozeandbmovies

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This one takes Steve on a trip down memory lane, as it's set in an early 1990s movie theater. Everything down to the black bow tie reminds Steve of his youth, except for the nudey movie.

The crew at a theater stumbles upon an old adult film, after a crazy weirdo crashes through a previously unknown doorway to a movie archive. The staff decides to watch the movie, thereby unleashing an evil succubus, who will kill them, crush their nuts, and rip off their wienies. Can this crew of AMC's past fight off a sex demon, or will they fall victim to their own vices?

More frontal nudity than you can shake a stick at, plus dismembered members and mutilated scrotums for your viewing pleasure.

Porno final grade:

Steve "Too many dongs for my taste," but overall a good movie. An interesting spin on the "found an ancient relic" horror trope. This production crew may have a future ahead of them. 4.00/5.0

Brandon A competently done movie. Not a "funny" movie, as far as the dialogue in concerned, but there are plenty of penis jokes to be had. Hits all the "horror movie" standards. 4.00/5

Cocktail of the Week: Pornstar Martini

1 1/2 oz Vanilla Vodka

1 oz Passion Fruit Puree

1/2 oz Passoa Passion Fruit Liqueur

1/2 oz Simple Syrup

1/2 oz Fresh-Squeezed LIme Juice

As much sparkling wine/champagne/etc. as you like

Combine all ingredients except sparkling wine into a cocktail shaker. Shake to chill, then strain into a chilled martini glass. Serve the sparkling wine on the side. Very classy.

Cocktail Grade: A fine martini. Sweet, but not overly so. Passion fruit puree isn't an easy ingredient to come by, so that knocks it down a bit. 4.325/5

------------------ Contact us with feedback or cocktail/movie recommendations to: boozeandbmovies@gmail.com X: @boozeandbmovies Instagram: @boozeandbmovies Threads: @boozeandbmovies www.facebook.com/boozeandbmovies

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The boys are back after a #Fortnight on the road. Brandon enjoyed a couple weeks in Scotland and Steve was off gallivanting around Utah and Arizona.

Sadly, the "King of the B-Movies," Roger Corman, passed away while we were on holiday, so we'll be dedicating the rest of May to his career, in a series we'll be calling, "There MAY Be Boobs."

Steve takes a deep dive into Roger Corman's career and we'll review one of the more well-thought-of Corman Creations, 1978's Piranha.

Kids vanish after they trespass onto a "secret" military site on which "secret" experiments are conducted. Maggie McKeown, a bulldog of a skip tracer, ropes a down-on-his-luck drunk, Paul Grogan, into helping her locate these missing teens. Her own brazen disregard for the law and pulling levers without contemplation of the consequences leads to a plethora of deadly critters being dumped into a local recreational waterway. Coincidentally, Paul's daughter is attending a summer camp on that very lake. What are the odds? Now Paul must race to rescue his daughter, who has a fear of water, has no interest in going in the water, and will never enter the water under any circumstances. Can he do it?

Piranha Final Grades

Steve: Doesn't comprehend the cult status of this movie. Think a better product could have been put together if Corman himself had been more involved. But, he also doesn't want to give a Sub-2.0 grade to the recently deceased. 2.47/5

Brandon Uninteresting story construction. Dialog and acting didn't help elevate it. This movie was "pretty bad." The worst Roger Corman movie we've seen as a part of this podcast. Adding an extra couple tenths of a point for all the Skinemax movies of the early '90s that he didn't know Corman produced. 1.31/5

Cocktail of the Week: Piranhas In The Water, another Brandon Creation

2 oz Ruby Port Wine

1 oz Dark Rum

1/2 oz Orange Liqueur

1 oz Pineapple Juice

A couple spurts of honey syrup

Top with coconut water.

Mix all ingredients other than coconut water in a mixing glass over ice. Strain into Collins glasses. Garnish with orange twist and skewered Swedish Fish.

Cocktail Grade: Not bad for random liquids thrown into a glass. Mostly tastes like the Port Wine. It is red, though, so it looks like bloody water. Needed bubbles. Was better after adding some club soda for round two. 2.7/5

------------------ Contact us with feedback or cocktail/movie recommendations to: boozeandbmovies@gmail.com X: @boozeandbmovies Instagram: @boozeandbmovies Threads: @boozeandbmovies www.facebook.com/boozeandbmovies

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Brandon's flying solo for the first 165 seconds of the pod's history.

Just a quick hello to let you know what this project is all about.

#BMovies #Horror #Scifi

If you're in the Denver area and need septic design and installation services, contact our sponsors at Right Turn Resources, comptonius@gmail.com

Follow us on our socials:

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https://www.threads.net/@boozeandbmovies

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Update: You'll have to forgive the audio quality and structure here. It was our first podcast episode. Things have improved since then....we hope.

We take a look at some totally-real mythology local to where Steve grew up.

Brandon and Steve tell you everything you didn't know you needed to know about the only Thanksgiving-themed B-movie that we are aware of, Thankskilling.

If you're traveling through central Ohio, do not pee on anything that looks like it might be an ancient artifact, but Steve does recommend stopping by Dennison University for the beautiful fall foliage.

#GobbleGobbleMFer

#Thanksgiving

A couple notes about this episode:

The 'dong' is the national currency of Vietnam

For his part, Brandon has nothing but love for the people of the Michigan. As far as Brandon is concerned, Michiganders are wonderful people. As a graduate of *the* Ohio State University *eye roll*, Steve has different feelings. The podcast does not believe that beastiality is a common practice in the state that looks like a big mitten.

The podcast is firmly supportive of the practice of making your own coffee at home.

Steve provides the vocals for the fade-out at the end of the pod.

Cocktail of the Week:

Cool Spiced Cider (Original)

1 1/2 oz Apple-Spice Rum

1 oz Apple Cider

1-2 Dashes of Bitters

1/2 oz Lemon Juice

Shake over ice, serve in a rocks glass, top with Ginger Ale

Leave that five-star review here on Spotify.

Contact us with feedback or cocktail/movie recommendations to:

boozeandbmovies@gmail.com

X: @boozeandbmovies

Instagram: @boozeandbmovies Threads: @boozeandbmovies www.facebook.com/boozeandbmovies

Intro beats provided by:

Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):

https://uppbeat.io/t/pecan-pie/creepy

License code: LVZU4CCHLEIR520D

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The guys get back in their wheelhouse with a zombie splatter-fest.

This one is jam-packed with some of Brandon's favorite things: A WWII historical backdrop, Norse mythology, lots of blood, guts and outlandish moments. Steve drops some knowledge about draug/draugr, and learns what aquavit tastes like.

This podcast is firmly anti-Hitler.

Dead Snow final grade: Steve - Middle Shelf, Brandon - Top Shelf

Cocktail of the Week:

Norwegian Paralysis

30 ml Aquavit

30 ml Orange Juice

20 ml Pineapple Juice

10 ml Lime Juice

10 ml Orgeat Syrup

Notes about this episode:

This movie was filmed above the Arctic Circle in #Norway. Beautiful locations. Makes you want to go there and see the Northern Lights sometime.

The #Norwegian word for f*ck is "faen" pronounced kinda like "fah-en"

The #Norwegian word for douchebag is "drittsekk," pronounced pretty much how it looks.

Steve refers to the Zombie's "potato masher" which is a slang term for the German Stielhandgrenate 43, a stick-style hand grenade used by the Nazi military in WWII .

Leave that five-star review here on Spotify.

Contact us with feedback or cocktail/movie recommendations to:

boozeandbmovies@gmail.com

X: @boozeandbmovies

Instagram: @boozeandbmovies Threads: @boozeandbmovies www.facebook.com/boozeandbmovies

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What would it look like if a high school theater group made their own space-adventure production? What if that group had the assistance of the stop-motion animation experts who produced Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer in 1946 or the California Raisins Christmas in 1986? How about if it were scientifically-necessary that space flight suits consisted of extremely low-cut bikinis and thigh-high leather boots?

Well, in that case, you'd probably end up with something like Starcrash, a not-well-done space odyssey that walked the fine line of not being good enough to be good, but also not being bad enough to be good. This one managed to not really register much of a reaction out of either of the guys. It wasn't unwatchable, so check it out if you like. As Brandon's mom would say, it was fine.

Starcrash Final Grade:

Steve found this to be a low-quality offering, but not one to strictly avoid, which would put it in the second quintile of the movies featured in this podcast. 2.1/5

Brandon was taken in by some sort of quaint charm he found in this movie, and thinks it's at least a mid-tier kind of thing since he didn't perceive the people who made this movie to be condescending pricks who think they are better than him, unlike the Quentin Depieux. 2.7/5

Cocktail of the Week:

Unnamed Cocktail Brandon Made Up

2 oz Spice Rum

2 oz Strawberry Smoothie thing from the produce department

1 oz Aperol

1/2 oz Simple Syrup

1/2 oz Lime Juice

Combine all ingredients in a cocktail shaker and strain into a rocks glass. Place a hollowed out disc of an orange peel on top, fill it with the highest proof rum you can find, and light it ablaze. Garnish with a couple cherries.

A pretty-standard rum and fruit juice drink. Tastes like fruit. An imminently-drinkable mix. Maybe even good enough for a name sometime. If you have suggestions, let us know. 3.4/5 ------------------ Contact us with feedback or cocktail/movie recommendations to:

boozeandbmovies@gmail.com

X: @boozeandbmovies

Instagram: @boozeandbmovies Threads: @boozeandbmovies www.facebook.com/boozeandbmovies

--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/boozeandbmovies/support

The school year has started here in Colorado, so we're adjusting to life after summer break. Maybe it's a parents' break then?

This week's movie, Cockneys vs Zombies, puts our two main characters in a real pickle. Their grandad's retirement home is about to be closed. They need cash to try to save it. So, what should they do? Assemble an Oceans 11-style crew of East End Dufuses (except for Katy, she seems pretty bright) to rob a bank. When their plan inevitably fails, they're just about to get nicked when...A GOD DAMNED ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE BREAKS OUT. Now they've really stepped in it. They've got to get way with the cash and save grandad and his friends from certain death.

Oh yeah, Honor Blackman is in this. She was Pussy Galore in Goldfinger (1964).

Cockneys vs Zombies final grade:

Steve Another well done zombie flick. Interesting characters, good humor, and decent writing make this a movie well worth your time. Less-than-spectacular gore effects get then knocked down a peg. 4.13/5.0

Brandon This one hits in all the right places. It falls a bit short of Dead Snow, but still a well-done, entertaining horr-medy. Dialogue and sight-gags combine to make a good-quality flick that is easily re-watchable. Guns, guts, and a punted baby. What more could you ask for? 4.48/5

Cocktail of the Week: Bramble

2 oz Gin

1 oz Fresh Squeezed Lemon Juice

A little squirty of simple syrup

1/2 oz Blackberry Liqueur

Combine gin, lemon juice, and simple syrup in a cocktail shaker and shake to chill. Strain over ice in a rocks glass. Float blackberry liqueur on top to create two-tone effect.

Cocktail Grade: Another pleasant spin on the "Liquor X/Sour" combination, of which we are a fan. We did add a little club soda on a subsequent round and that did seem to take it up a notch. Maybe berry liqueurs work better, for us, with a few bubbbles? 4.4/5

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Almost a year to the day since the recording of our first episode, and we bring the year full-circle with a viewing of the sequel of the movie featured in Ep. 1, in this case, Thankskilling 3.

Thankskilling 3:Turkie is back, and pissed that his sequel Thankskilling 2 has been destroyed without being viewed. So, he has to blaze a path of destruction and death to recover the last copy. There's also some character named Yomi who does some dumb shit. There are two other idiots who want to make an amusement park called Thanksgivingland. Their paths cross and they have to help each other. A robot and a worm also take up your time. It's a puppet movie.

Thankskilling 3 final grade:

Steve The story wasn't bad. Could have been a good movie if it were shorter with more Turkie and less dumb shit. 1.5/5.0

Brandon The movie mentioned the "compliment sandwich,' so here it goes.

Compliment: The movie was better than Wrong Cops.

Criticism: The movie was too long and too shitty.

Compliment: The movie eventually ended. 1.5/5.0

Cocktail of the Week: "It's Fall! Let's Drink Cider"

1 1/2 oz Cinnamon Whiskey

Apple Cider

Club Soda Steve's creation for the anniversary party. Build this one in the glass, like a regular person. Ice in a glass. Add whiskey, then cider, and top with club soda for some fizz. Easy peasy.

Cocktail Grade: A simple-yet-delicious seasonal concoction. Tastes great. You do run the risk of having too much, though, if you're not pacing yourself. 5/5

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Happy Easter everyone!

Sometimes giant, sometimes just really big rabbit appears out of nowhere. Sometimes it hops like a rabbit. Sometimes it walks like a human. All the time, it kills people. Unfortunately, it didn't kill the producers of this movie before they had the chance to create this abomination.

Beaster Day Final Grades:

This movie sucks. Don't watch it. Don't let anyone else watch it. This movie is one reason why the internet is a hellscape. If it could be scrubbed from existence, the world would be a brighter place.

Steve ~1 of 5 "This movie is a waste of time."

Brandon's ~1 of 5 This movie gets an F, as in "F this movie"

Cocktail of the Week: Purple Jesus

2 ounce Vodka

1 ounce fresh-squeezed lime juice.

1 ounce Kool-Aid syrup

Combine/shake ingredients in a cocktail shaker with ice. Strain, over ice, into tall/Collins glass. Float as much Miller High Life on top as is needed. Garnish with Easter candy. Feel bad about yourself for having done this.

Not as bad as was expected. It's fine, but not worth making, unless you're pranking someone. 2/5

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Classic story of what happens when you flush a pet alligator down the toilet. Of course it grows to extreme size by surviving on test animals full of growth hormone, then gets really mad and terrorizes your city. After all, it's got all them teeth and no toothbrush.

Luckily a cop and a herpetologist (who is an expert on reptiles, not what you were thinking) are there to save the day. There was also a big game hunter for a little bit, but he fell for the classic "Giant Alligator hiding under a twelver of Miller High Life" gambit. It's basically an '80s version of Lake Placid, except it takes place in a city.

Lots of people get chewed up.

Alligator final grade:

Steve really likes this movie, calls it one of the best movies we've watched, and recommends it for anyone who likes giant critter flicks. 4.9/5.0

Brandon says the effects were legit and the acting was perfectly competent. No explicit or dark humor, no over-the-top-gore, no goofiness. The movie loses points for being too "good." 4.312/5

Cocktail of the Week: Gin Rickey

1 1/2 oz Old Tom Gin

One half, or one whole lime, depending on lime juiciness.

Topo Chico Sparkling Water

Squeeze the juice of 1/2 of a large lime, or one whole small lime into a highball glass. Throw a chunk of ice in there, then add gin. Plop the lime in the glass and top with another chunk of ice. Top with sparkling water.

Cocktail Grade: A refreshing classic cocktail. Easy to throw together. No sugars make it friendly to people who can't or won't do sugar. 4.58/5

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We bring in a couple more special guests to provide some insight on the environment in which these sharks menace the locals.

Some jackass thinks a shark goddess needs to be resurrected to cleanse humanity or something. Sharks kill people in a cornfield.

Bigfoot.

The mafia.

The CIA

Stonehenge.

Everything ends up covered in light Karo syrup and red food coloring.

Then you movie ends and some of the joy in the world is lost forever. Sharks of the Corn Final Grades:

Trash. This movie is rougher than a cob. It's worse than having a billy goat pecker growing out of the top of your head. These are lines from the movie, FYI. This movie breaks Brandon's brain.

Both the guys give this movie a .25 out of 5, just to keep it above Wrong Cops.

Cocktail of the Week: Bourbon & Coke

Some Bourbon

Some Coke

Pour however much bourbon you want in a glass. Fill the glass the rest of the way with Coke. No one really cares what you do with your bourbon and coke, just like no one cared enough to make this movie palatable. 3/5

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Quick hitter on #Olympics2024, #TourdeFrance2024 and #JeChieDansLaSeineLe23Juin.

Then, Surf Nazis Must Die: Earthquakes hit southern California and the beaches IMMEDIATELY descend into anarchy. Like...instantly. In this environment, the leader of the Surf Nazis, who calls himself Adolf, decides that beach gangs need to centralize under his authority. Leroy Washington, an upstanding member of the community, intervenes in the Nazis criminal activities and is killed. His mother then goes on the warpath to exact revenge.

Fights kinda happen here and there. Each of these "uncontrollable" gangs has like...three members. People get killed, I guess. Lots of b-reel of dudes riding the waves. For the third week in a row, Steve tries to find a movie that is actually bad and he may have succeeded here.

Surf Nazis Must Die final grade:

Steve This movie is shit. Eighty-one minutes long, and about sixty minutes too long. But, working in half-point increments is important 0.5/5

Brandon The highlight of this one was when the info on the screen said the movie was shorter than expected. This movie is the Rooster Whiskey Cocktail of movies. 0.2/5

Cocktail of the Week: Brandon's Margarita

2 oz Tequila

1 oz Orange Liqueur

1 oz Fresh-Squeezed Lime Juice

1 oz Simple Syrup Sugar or salt the rim of your rocks glass if you want to. If not, that's fine too. Combine ingredients in a cocktail shaker and shake to combine. Strain over rocks in glass. Garnish with whatever you like.

Cocktail Grade: A fine margarita that won't give you alcohol poisoning, unlike Brandon's original margarita recipe. Still, don't drink too many. 4.5/5

------------------ Contact us with feedback or cocktail/movie recommendations to: boozeandbmovies@gmail.com X: @boozeandbmovies Instagram: @boozeandbmovies Threads: @boozeandbmovies www.facebook.com/boozeandbmovies

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We introduce a new nominally-named trivia segment to see just how much Steve remembers about the movies we've watched thus far. Brandon demonstrates an inability to convert minutes to hours and minutes.

ON TO THE MOVIE

In a dystopian future of the future (circa Y3K) the civilization from Death Race 2000 is destroyed even more. Lord Zirpola, the guy in charge of Helix City seeks to demonstrate his military might to neighboring communities through Deathsport, a fight-to-the-death between guys on dirt bikes equipped with disintegration rays and laser guns and two people with plastic swords. Who will win? There's only one way to find out. Deathsport Final Grades:

This movie is bad, but it's bad enough to be good. Maybe even slightly better than Death Race 2000. No expert reviewers of the last 40 years agree, but Steve and Brandon know better...or maybe they're just looking for different things. 3.75/5....these numbers don't matter because the scale constantly changes.

Cocktail of the Week: Elk's Own, aka Winter Whiskey Sour

h/t to @AndersErickson for sharing this recipe to his YouTube Channel

1 oz Rye Whiskey

3/4 oz Ruby Port Wine

3/4 oz Fresh-Squeezed Lemon Juice

1/2 oz Rich Demerara Simple Syrup

3/4 oz Egg White

Fresh-ground nutmeg Combine all ingredients in a cocktail shaker without ice. Dry shake to combine and fluff egg whites. Add ice to shaker and shake a second time. Double strain into a coupe glass. Grate nutmeg on top to garnish.

------------------ Contact us with feedback or cocktail/movie recommendations to: boozeandbmovies@gmail.com X: @boozeandbmovies Instagram: @boozeandbmovies Threads: @boozeandbmovies www.facebook.com/boozeandbmovies

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