Balance365 Life Radio (Balance365 Life)
Explorez tous les épisodes de Balance365 Life Radio
| Date | Titre | Durée | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 27 Oct 2021 | Episode 191: How To Work Candy Into Your Weight Loss Plan | 00:31:24 | |
Episode OverviewCandy season is officially upon us... *cue feelings of terror* For many, this time of year means a sudden and dramatic increase in sweets and treats in our homes, which can mean a challenging season for those of us with weight loss goals. In today’s podcast, we provide you with 4 tips for how you can still work candy into your weight loss plans. And if you find yourself struggling with sugar cravings, you can also grab our 5 Reasons You’re Craving Sugar guide to start managing your cravings today! Key Points
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TranscriptDownload a copy of this episode’s transcript here. | |||
| 10 Aug 2022 | Episode 232: 3-Part Exercise Series (How to Build Muscle + Get Stronger) | 00:47:38 | |
Episode OverviewWelcome back to the final episode of our three-part series on exercise! In our previous episodes, we talked about the science behind exercise and addressed myths and truths. Today we’re covering how to build muscle and get stronger. We hope you’ve enjoyed this series and are walking away from this with a better understanding of exercise. Here’s to getting your exercise actions in line with your goals! If you’re ready to explore the messy middle of health, wellness, and weight loss with us, get on our waitlist for our next coaching enrollment! The doors to our coaching program open again in September. Get your name on the waitlist for early access right here. Key Points
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TranscriptDownload a copy of this episode’s transcript here. | |||
| 04 Sep 2024 | Episode 340: 4 Thoughts That Sabotage Weight Loss Efforts | 00:40:58 | |
Episode OverviewDiscover how changing your thoughts can set you up for future success. Inspired by Marshall Goldsmith's insight, "What got you here, won't get you there," we explore the power of mindset shifts in achieving different results. Join us as we highlight four common thoughts that often sabotage women's fat loss goals and provide strategies to effectively manage them. Don’t miss this opportunity to transform your thinking for realistic, sustainable changes! Before we start, if you haven’t yet downloaded our free guide, How to Build a Balanced Meal, make sure to grab a copy today. In this guide you will learn what balanced eating actually means, how it’s possible to meet your nutritional and weight loss goals, and why the components of a balanced meal are so important for managing hunger and cravings on a weight loss journey. Click here to download. Key Points
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TranscriptDownload a copy of this episode’s transcript here. | |||
| 04 Nov 2020 | Episode 141: The REAL Cost Of Dieting (That Nobody Talks About) | 00:54:59 | |
The diet industry is a $72 billion dollar industry with a 95% failure rate. Yes, you read that correctly. Depending on how long you’ve been following along with us, that may or may not come as a shock to you. The world spends a lot of money on weight loss products with very little in return. Still... The financial repercussions are not what we consider to be the most damaging consequence of jumping on board diet bandwagons. In this episode, we’re uncovering the REAL cost of dieting. Don’t worry, we won’t leave you in a pit of despair. In the name of balance, we’ve made sure to end this episode on a high note, showing you that it’s possible to take the lessons you’ve learned from your experience and channel them into something positive. Enjoy! SIGN UP to get in on the Cut the Crap Video Series here! Come be social with us! Balance365 Facebook: Weight Loss Without Restriction Balance365 Instagram: @balance365life | |||
| 20 Oct 2021 | Episode 190: 3 Reasons Your Weight Loss Stalled | 00:26:03 | |
Episode OverviewWeight loss is never a linear path, but we also understand it can be frustrating to see your progress slow down, or even come to an abrupt halt. In this episode, we share the three most common reasons we see that cause our members to hit weight loss plateaus. If you think your eating habits might be contributing to your weight issues, grab our free guide: Binge Eating: Why You Do It and How to Stop today! Key Points
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TranscriptDownload a copy of this episode’s transcript here. | |||
| 01 Jan 2020 | Episode 94: Does Losing Weight Make You A Bad Feminist? With Maggie Anderson | 01:07:41 | |
In today’s episode, Jenn and Annie are joined by Grace Club YVR founder Maggie Anderson for an exploration of feminism, weight loss, body autonomy and how to create more compassion for yourself and others. Tune in for a spirited discussion about if you can call yourself a feminist and still want to lose weight. | |||
| 09 Jun 2021 | Episode 171: 4 Reasons You Don’t Have Self-Control Around Food | 00:25:46 | |
Episode Overview Self-control. The diet and fitness industry’s FAVORITE catchphrase! And perhaps you feel like you struggle with your own self-control. Maybe you’re often grappling with the thought of “just eat one” or feel like you’re in the fast-food drive-thru line more often than you should be. In today’s podcast episode, we’re talking about the four main reasons we see women struggling with self-control around food and sharing the steps they can take to change it. Because, believe it or not, you CAN have more self-control around food! Let us share how! We’re also offering our FREE download, 5 Reasons You’re Craving Sugar. Just click here to get it sent right to your inbox so you can start managing those cravings for sweets today! Key Points
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| 06 Mar 2024 | Episode 314: 5 Supplements Every Woman Should Consider for General Health | 01:09:15 | |
Episode OverviewIn this episode, we’re chatting with our favorite dietitian, Chelsey Love. Joining us from Alberta, Canada, Chelsey has been a practicing Registered Dietitian since 2010. She is a regular inside Balance365 and hosts a coaching call each month called, ‘Ask a Dietitan.’ Join us today as Chelsey shares her top five supplements that every woman should consider, aligning with our shared commitment to simple, realistic, and sustainable nutrition. Enjoy! In less than two weeks, the doors to our life-changing nutrition coaching program open for enrollment. Add your name to the waitlist, and you’ll have access to spots 24 hours before the general public. Key Points
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TranscriptDownload a copy of this episode's transcript here. | |||
| 14 Dec 2022 | Episode 250: Member Spotlight - How Jeannette Overcame Perfectionism and Lost 40lbs | 00:48:37 | |
Episode OverviewToday, we’re interviewing Jeanette. At 53, she’s learned how to create simple, healthy habits she knows she can sustain for the rest of her life! Currently, she is down 40lbs, has reversed her pre-diabetes trajectory, reduced her blood pressure, and improved her lipid profile since joining our program in May 2022. We love to hear it! We can’t wait to share more about her successes with you today. Jeanette’s journey is a testament to how life-changing Balance365 Coaching can be. If you want to break free from diets and create life-long healthy habits like her, join our Balance365 Coaching waitlist for January! Doors will open to the waitlist ONLY—so if you aren’t on the waitlist, you won’t be able to join. Sign up today! Key Points
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TranscriptDownload a copy of this episode’s transcript here. | |||
| 27 Jan 2021 | Episode 152: The Balance365 Fat Loss Formula | 00:32:36 | |
At Balance365 we specialize in keeping things simple. That’s why our clients are so successful - we cut through the overwhelm and help them create plans that work for their lives! Today we’re going to share a very simple formula we use in our coaching program for figuring out what you need to do to lose weight. Now, don’t get us wrong. Just because something is simple, doesn’t mean it’s easy! Humans LOVE to complicate things… That’s why so many people benefit from the support and accountability we have inside Balance365 Coaching! ;) If you’re looking for clarity on how to get started or why you’re stuck, you’re going to love the game-changing Balance365 Fat Loss Formula. Enjoy! Related Content: | |||
| 24 Jan 2024 | Episode 308: 5 Reasons You Can’t. Stop. Eating! | 00:30:48 | |
Episode OverviewIf you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why can't I stop eating?” you’re not alone! This is one of the most common questions we receive from our audience and our members. Join us in this episode as we explore the top five reasons behind this common concern and present some practical solutions to help you regain control. If you’re ready to end your own overeating cycles, enrollment to Balance365 Coaching is OPEN NOW. Balance365 Coaching is a comprehensive, evidence-based nutrition and behavior-change program that will change your life in the best possible way. Don’t wait. Grab your spot now! We cannot wait to show you what’s possible. Key Points
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| 14 Feb 2024 | Episode 311: Q+A - What Made Weight Loss “Click” for Us? | 00:12:54 | |
Episode OverviewIn this clip from a live Q+A, we answer a question from a woman in our audience who asked, “what made weight loss ‘click’ for each of you?” This is a topic we could talk about for hours, but in this short episode, we list the most influential shifts that impacted each of our weight loss journeys. Will we share something that will “click” for you, too? Listen to find out! If you want us to answer your burning questions, join our free Facebook group, Weight Loss Without Restriction. Key Points
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TranscriptDownload a copy of this episode's transcript here. | |||
| 24 Mar 2020 | Episode 107: Staying Calm And Healthy In Chaos Part 2 | 01:14:05 | |
This is the second episode in our 3 part series about staying healthy and calm during chaos. In this episode, Balance 365 co-founders Annie and Jen are talking all about how to manage our environments - the mental and the physical. You’ll get great tips on how to work from home with all its distractions, how to improve your mental environment, and even how to adjust your home environment to be productive and make it easier to practice healthy habits. | |||
| 02 Dec 2020 | Episode 145: Menopause - Weight Loss, Wellness, And Learning To Thrive | 00:47:24 | |
We have a returning guest to Balance365 Radio: trainer, coach and author Amanda Thebe! Amanda is a quick-witted, straight talking, down-to-earth woman as well as a force of nature and advocate for women who are experiencing what she calls menopause hell. Amanda has made it her mission to help women feel healthy and confident in their changing bodies during midlife and beyond. Join us as Jen, Annie and Amanda discuss weight loss, wellness and learning to thrive during mid-life, while reminding us there is so much to celebrate and be thankful for. Enjoy! | |||
| 18 Sep 2019 | Episode 84: From Yoyo To Balance: Lauren’s Wellness Journey | 00:31:57 | |
In today’s episode Annie interviews Balance365 co-founder Lauren Koski about her path from food obsession and yo yo dieting to finding peace and balance in her approach to food, fitness and nutrition. Listen in for the behind the scenes story of why she made a change and for her message of hope.
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| 11 May 2022 | Episode 219: After The After - Kara’s Sustainably Healthy Life After Balance365 | 00:45:57 | |
Episode OverviewToday we’re interviewing former Balance365 Coaching member, Kara Lang. While we know that Kara joined Balance365 Coaching in May of 2020 and graduated in 2021. Not only does she share why she joined and what she achieved while working with us, but she also describes her life post-Balance365! (Plus she shares her insider tips when placing orders at Starbucks!) Don’t miss it! Come listen! Also, if you missed our recent enrollment for the Balance365 Coaching program and don’t want to miss out on the opportunity to join next time, our waitlist is open! Sign up now and get priority access before we open to the public. Key Points
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TranscriptDownload a copy of this episode’s transcript here. | |||
| 24 Aug 2022 | Episode 234: After the After - Karen’s Healthy Habits After Balance365 | 00:50:14 | |
Episode OverviewToday we have another “after the after” journey to share with you! Meet Karen, another Balance365 Coaching graduate who has taken what she needed from our program and is now living a full, values-driven life. And—this is just the icing on the cake—Karen’s also down 60lbs! We loved listening to her story. We know you will, too. Karen’s story can be your story, too. If you want *more* than just weight loss, and to live a bigger, fuller, more aligned life, then don’t wait! Enrollment to our program opens again in September, and we would LOVE to coach you! Click here to join the waitlist. Key Points
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TranscriptDownload a copy of this episode’s transcript here. | |||
| 05 Feb 2020 | Episode 99: How To Stop Stress Eating With Josh Hillis | 01:02:01 | |
Josh Hillis is back on the podcast! You might remember him from our conversation about emotional eating, but this time he’s here to talk about stress eating and the tools and strategies you can use when you are caught in the pattern of eating to combat stress. Spoiler alert: No diets needed! Download now for a healthy dose of laughter and reminders of how establishing better habits will foster a greater sense of self love. Don’t forget to check out our free workshop to help you ditch the diet cycle for good! Visit www.balance365workshop.com to learn more. | |||
| 21 Dec 2022 | Episode 251: 4 Considerations if You Have Weight Loss Goals in 2023 | 00:27:40 | |
Episode Overview2023 is almost here! If you have a weight loss goal in the new year, we need to talk! Today, we’re discussing four considerations to reflect on before you dive head-first into the new year. Let’s set you up for success! But before you go, remember this: you don’t have to do this one you own. We would love to support you in 2023 with learning the skills and strategies you need to reach your goals. Click here to join our waitlist. Our doors open in early January! Key Points
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TranscriptDownload a copy of this episode’s transcript here. | |||
| 17 May 2023 | Episode 272: Healing the Mother Wound with Maggie Nick | 01:03:39 | |
Episode OverviewDo you ever struggle to navigate your relationship with your mother? If so, you won’t want to miss this episode. We’re back with another guest this week, therapist Maggie Nick. Maggie specializes in what she calls “the mother wound” which is an internalized set of core beliefs about who we are, our worth, and our value Maggie calls herself a recovering people-pleasing “perfect child.” Her therapy practice focuses on healing low self-worth, shame resilience, and parenting and reparenting. Join us as we discuss what the mother wound and how it can contribute to body shame and disordered eating. We also cover boundary setting and how we can start healing ourselves from the pain of navigating challenging relationships with our mothers. We hope you love this conversation as much as we did. Enjoy! Don't miss out on the opportunity to transform your relationship with food and your body. Our life changing nutrition coaching program opens for enrollment next week. Add your name to the waitlist and you’ll have access to spots 24 hours before the general public. Click the link in our show notes or visit www.balance365.com/waitlist. Key Points
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TranscriptDownload a copy of this episode’s transcript here. | |||
| 21 Sep 2022 | Episode 238: New Here? How to Simplify Nutrition | 00:43:25 | |
Episode OverviewIn our experience, the average person can benefit from understanding nutrition basics. We’re talking foundational nutritional habits. Maybe you’re asking, “Why simple? Shouldn’t I overhaul everything for the best benefits?” Because simple is *actionable.* By the end of this episode, you will walk away with a few key takeaways of nutritional guidelines that you can start exploring right away, no diet overhaul needed! If you don’t want to do this on your own, we’ve got you covered. Our coaches would love to help you through this process in our Balance365 Coaching program. Get on our waitlist right here! Key Points
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TranscriptDownload a copy of this episode’s transcript here. | |||
| 15 Jan 2020 | Episode 96: Setting The Record Straight On Six Pack Abs | 00:16:34 | |
Our bellies are body parts we just can’t get enough of - and there are lots of questions surrounding them: How does stress play a role in belly fat? Can you wrap yourself in a cocoon at the spa and lose weight? And what about those pesky genetics? Annie is flying solo in our newest podcast episode, and she’s setting the record straight on our tummies! | |||
| 22 Jan 2020 | Episode 97: Getting Real With Balance365 Co-Founder Jennifer Campbell | 01:14:42 | |
It has been a wild ride for Balance 365 co-founder Jennifer Campbell, who, after many years of an ongoing struggle to find true self love, was able to settle into a balanced life and peace with her body. Ultimately, she came to understand that her journey had caused her physical and mental damage, and slowly, by forming new habits and mindset changes, her pendulum began to settle in the center. This is an emotional, but important, episode. | |||
| 18 Oct 2023 | Episode 294: Coaching Sessions - Exploring Jen’s Resistance to Exercise | 00:49:32 | |
Episode OverviewWe’re sharing an incredibly emotional and powerful episode today. Like many of our members, Jen has struggled with knowing what she needs to do, and still not doing it. For the last six months she’s been in a start-and-stop cycle with her strength training habit. In this episode, Annie coaches Jen on her resistance, precisely like we do inside Balance365 Coaching. Join Annie and Jen as they examine the underlying causes of Jen’s resistance to exercise, shed light on why it always seems to creep back in, and create a strategic, realistic plan to support Jen in achieving her fitness goals. If you’re tired of feeling stuck in similar cycles, you need to experience the power of Balance365 Coaching. Join the waitlist here so you don’t miss out the next time our doors open. Adding your name unlocks access to our program 24 hours before the general public, AND we’ll waive the registration fee. We’ll see you on the other side! Key Points
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TranscriptDownload a copy of this episode’s transcript here. | |||
| 02 Oct 2019 | Episode 86: Obesity: A Complex Problem That Needs Complex Solutions | 01:05:00 | |
Jen, Annie and Lauren are joined by author James Fell to discuss obesity, what it really means, what causes it and what possible solutions could be explored. Get ready to challenge everything you thought you knew about obesity and tune in for a really intersectional look at why body weights are increasing.
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| 21 Jun 2023 | Episode 277: 5 Tips to Reduce Emotional Eating | 00:28:45 | |
Episode OverviewIt’s time for another segment of our "how-to" series! Today, we dive into the all-too-common question: how do I reduce the frequency of emotional eating? If you’ve tried to reduce your emotional eating but still struggle (or maybe you feel like things have gotten worse), this episode is for you. Join us as we discuss the possible root causes and provide you with practical, realistic tips and insights to help you tackle emotional eating head-on. Don't miss out on this valuable episode. Enjoy! If you want to take it a step further, you can learn more about managing emotional eating in our online course, 3 Steps to End Emotional Eating. This self-paced course is where we dig into understanding emotional eating, share why it’s not all about the food, and teach you the Balance365 framework for managing your emotional eating urges. Key Points
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TranscriptDownload a copy of this episode’s transcript here. | |||
| 12 Jan 2022 | Episode 202: How Men Can Navigate Diet Culture, Weight, And Wellness With Chris McMahon | 01:03:09 | |
Episode Overview“Do you have a program for men? My husband needs this!” is a question we get on the daily. Our answer? "No, but have you heard of Chris McMahon?" Chris McMahon is a good friend, colleague, and a trusted men’s health expert. In today’s episode, he shares his take on men’s health, wellness, and body image. He is anti-fad dieting but NOT anti-weight loss… Sound like someone else you may know? 😉 Come listen! ...And then don't forget to share this episode with someone who you think would benefit! And while you're here, don't forget to hop on the waitlist for our Balance365 program. Be the first to know when we open our doors again! Key Points
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TranscriptDownload a copy of this episode’s transcript here. | |||
| 08 Jul 2020 | Episode 124: What Is Body Neutrality? | 00:45:31 | |
It’s so wonderful when you finally reach a place where you can look in the mirror and truly, honestly love your body. But what if you look in the mirror and really aren’t sure how to feel? In this episode of Balance365 Life Radio, co-founders Jennifer Campbell and Annie Brees are speaking to any woman who isn’t sure how - or even IF - she can love her body the way it is. From jiggly bits and stretch marks to short legs and long arms, feeling neutral about your body might just be the key to how you can move beyond what your body looks like and start living life on your terms. Come be social with us! Balance365 Facebook: Weight Loss Without Restriction Balance365 Instagram: @balance365life | |||
| 29 Jan 2025 | Episode 361: How to Handle Unsolicited Comments About Your Weight | 00:40:30 | |
Episode OverviewLast week, we explored six surprising weight loss experiences that often go unmentioned. Today, we’re diving deeper into one of the most common challenges women face during their weight loss journey: dealing with unsolicited comments about your body or weight. These remarks, whether well-intentioned or not, can stir up a range of emotions, leaving you feeling vulnerable or frustrated. This episode will discuss the impact of such feedback and offer strategies to help you stay focused on your progress without letting these comments derail your efforts. If you’re continuing to struggle with self-sabotage behaviors, Balance365 can help. Balance365 Coaching offers comprehensive nutrition and behavior change coaching that can transform your life. Enrollment opens again on January 20th, and we’d love to have you join us! By joining our obligation-free waitlist, you’ll get early access to spots 24 hours before the general public. We’ll also waive the $199 registration fee. Learn more here. Key Points
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TranscriptDownload a copy of this episode’s transcript here. | |||
| 21 Aug 2019 | Episode 80: How To Deal With Picky Eaters | 00:42:06 | |
Meal time can feel like a battle ground when your kids are picky eaters. Registered Dietitian and founder of Tiny Bites Nutrition Terri Ney joins Annie for a conversation about how to deal with kids who are picky and how to help them cultivate a healthy relationship with food. Feeding advice is served! | |||
| 19 Mar 2025 | Episode 368: Q+A - Doing Everything Right but Not Losing Weight? Here’s What to Do | 00:11:55 | |
Episode OverviewToday, we’re tackling a question that you may have asked yourself: "I’m doing everything right, so why isn’t the scale moving?" You’ve been eating balanced meals, drinking more water, moving your body, even cutting back on the treats and snacks—but nothing’s changing. What gives?! If that sounds familiar, this episode is for you. We’re breaking down our Balance365 Fat Loss Formula, a simple but powerful tool we use inside Balance365 to help our members identify exactly what’s getting in the way of their progress. If you’ve ever felt frustrated, stuck, or convinced that your body just won’t lose weight, don’t miss this Q+A episode. This conversation might be the breakthrough you’ve been needing. If you like what you hear in this episode, don’t miss your chance to join us when we open enrollment to Balance365 Coaching to get access to so much more! Get your name on our obligation-free waitlist, and we will waive the $199 registration fee. Click here to learn more. Key Points
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| 08 Jan 2025 | Episode 358: Member Spotlight – Unpacking Emotional Eating and Pursuing Real Change with Maura | 00:45:51 | |
Episode OverviewToday’s episode is a must-listen! We’re chatting with Maura, a Balance365 member from Los Angeles, who shares how she’s embraced taking self-care like never before. Maura’s journey is unique—she didn’t grow up dieting or worrying about her body. But after having children, she found herself caught in the cycle of restrictive dieting. Inside Balance365, she has learned how to create balanced nutrition habits that align with her goals and discovered the key to breaking a years-long emotional eating habit. Her insights are relatable and inspiring, and we know you’ll gain so much from hearing her story. Come listen! Don’t forget!!! Our life-changing nutrition coaching program opens again for enrollment on January 20th. Get your name on the waitlist to access spots 24 hours before the general public, and we’ll waive the $199 registration fee. Key Points
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TranscriptDownload a copy of this episode’s transcript here. | |||
| 25 Jan 2023 | Episode 256: Q+A - Weight Loss Answer Seekers vs. Problem Solvers | 00:08:01 | |
Episode OverviewPeople fail at weight loss over and over because they are answer seekers, not problem solvers. But what’s the difference between the two? In today’s episode, we provide you with some eye-opening questions to ask yourself about how you approach your weight loss journey. So many of our members have told us that this shift has led to *many* other lightbulb moments. We hope it does the same for you! If you have a question about health, weight loss, body image, etc., we answer your questions live in our Facebook group every week! Join us for free right here! Key Points
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TranscriptDownload a copy of this episode’s transcript here | |||
| 29 May 2019 | Episode 68: Reconnecting With Hunger, Fullness And Each Other | 00:31:54 | |
In this member spotlight episode, Annie and Jen are joined by Balance365 member Bethann for a light and fun conversation about her Balance365 journey, living in the messy middle, loving the community and laughing together about equally messy minivans. Tune in for a great chat!
What you’ll hear in this episode:
Resources: Tracking Weight, Steps, Food: When It Hurts, When It Helps Everyday Strong Learn more about Balance365 Life here Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Play, or Android so you never miss a new episode! Visit us on Facebook| Follow us on Instagram| Check us out on Pinterest Join our free Facebook group with over 40k women just like you! Did you enjoy the podcast? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Google Play! It helps us get in front of new listeners so we can keep making great content. TranscriptAnnie: Welcome to Balance 365 life radio, a podcast that delivers honest conversations about food, fitness, weight and wellness. I'm your host Annie Brees along with Jennifer Campbell and Lauren Koski. We are personal trainers, nutritionists and founders of Balance365. Together we coach thousands of women each day and are on a mission to help them feel healthy, happy, and confident in their bodies on their own terms. Join us here every week as we discuss hot topics pertaining to our physical, mental and emotional wellbeing with amazing guests. Enjoy. Thank you so much for joining us for another episode of Balance365 Life radio. We are back today with our mini series called Member Spotlights. This allows us to introduce you to Balance365 community members who are just killing it inside the program so that you can take their wisdom and stories and learn from them. They're busy women and moms just like you who are changing their habits, their mindsets, and reaching their goals. Today you're going to hear from one Balance365 member who was determined to make changes to her habits in hopes of making a positive impact on her children's lives. Bethann is a seasoned member of our community who came to us looking for help in healing her postpartum body and has since stopped obsessing about food and exercise, lost 30 pounds, connected with true hunger and fullness cues and become more comfortable with taking up space in the world. I can't wait for you to hear more about this mom of three's experience inside Balance365. enjoy! Jen. We have a special guest with us today. Are you so excited to have her on? Jen: I am. She's like an old friend. Annie: I know. Well, she actually is an old friend of mine because I got to meet her back when I took a trip to Arizona. Jen: Oh right! When John went to Phoenix. Annie: About eight months ago? Jen: You had a little meet up with all the Phoenix- Annie: And there's was a lot of them too, which was great- Jen: girls. Annie: Yeah. So Bethann, welcome to Balance365 Life radio. How are you? Bethann: Good, thank you. Thanks for having me. Annie: Oh, thanks for joining us. I'm so excited to have you because we did get to meet in Arizona. And I think you messaged me, I posted an insta story that was like, "I'm in Arizona" and you were like, "Can we have coffee?"And then the next thing I know there was like eight of you and it was great. It was so fun to meet in real life, not just on the Internet. Bethann: I know. I was so excited and I remember getting ready to come meet you and my husband was like, are you going on a date? I was like, "Oh my gosh, I'm fangirling!" I was just so excited because you guys have literally you, the three of you have changed my life in the best way. So I was so excited just to be able to thank you in person. Annie: Oh, I remember you picking me up in your minivan. It's just like quintessential- Jen: Mom date. Bethann: Yes, that's a mom date. That's exactly it. The first thing you said was, "Is your van always this clean? Do you have children?" It's like, I do, but my husband's very tidy so they are not allowed to eat in our car. Annie: Yeah, I remember, I was like, "Is this new? Like did you just get this yesterday?" Jen: When my husband gets in my vehicle, he's like, "It smells like a barn in here." Like yeah, Kinda. Annie: There's probably a lot of snacks in the back too If you're hungry- Jen: Open a window. There's some French fries on the ground at your feet there. Annie: And if you look in the crevices, I bet you can find some goldfish. Jen: That's exactly what my vehicle is like. Annie: Oh, Bethann's husband is probably just having an attack right now listening to us. Bethann: Well, he's at work. Annie: Oh good. So you have been a longtime member. Do you remember when you joined Balance365. Bethann: I want to say it was 2015, so that was the year my twins were born and I actually found you because I had a really bad muscle separation from carrying my twins. And I found that out because I had a hernia after they were born and I had a CT scan done to see how bad that was. And my doctor says, "Oh, and you have diastasis recti." And I was like, "Well, what is that?" And he talked about it a little bit and I realized I probably had that after my first son was born and nobody mentioned it. I just had that six week follow up and they said, you can exercise like you normally do, which I did and probably should not have been doing some of the things I was doing and then I started searching because he basically said, don't do planks or situps- Jen: Right, there's not a lot of instruction from the medical community on what is, like, rehab appropriate and how to scale that back into a regular exercise routine postpartum. Bethann: Right. And that kind of scared me because I'm like, "Well, I like to exercise." So then I started searching and then I found the Mama Lion Strong website. Jen: Oh, crazy. That doesn't even exist anymore, that website. Bethann: And I found a little bit, Brianna Battle's website. And then that of course left led me to the Healthy Habits, Happy Moms' Facebook group. So, which gave me a lot of really great information. And then actually I had just done a couple of cycles of a 21 day program. Jen: We know what you're talking about. Annie: We know about that. Bethann: And then as I kind of dove further into the Healthy Habits group, I was like, "What am I doing?" I had done, like when I was younger, I'd done Weight Watchers, you know, in college and the more I read, I was just like, "I'm newly postpartum. Why am I dieting? Why am I worrying about this stuff right now?" And so the more I read, you know, and the more I got into the healthy habits group, I just kind of just stopped doing all it, stopped doing all that stuff at night. The first thing I did was unfollowing, I think I remember it was a post that Jen did that said stop following these kinds of toxic people and these toxic groups on Facebook and Instagram. Jen: Yeah, because they become part of your environment, right? Because social media is part of our environment now. Like, let's get real. The amount of time, I think I read a study that says the average woman is on her phone five hours a day, which is crazy. But I don't really want to look at what my phone usage is anyways. But it is part of our environment. And when your social media environment is all about weight loss or different unkind, unempowering messages towards women, that becomes your reality. Right? Annie: I would offer even a not meaning to have a negative impact on your life. There's some posts that can be really positive in nature, but for whatever reason they just don't make you feel good. Bethann: Right. Annie: And those should be unfollowed too. Maybe for now, forever, for temporary. Bethann: And I was just thinking, I was like, you know, when you're already in that postpartum space with all the hormones and you know, you're dealing with all those body changes. And I'm like, "This is a really good idea. I need to just kind of back off from this stuff and get to a better head space." And the messages in the Healthy Habits group are really positive. And all the women were really positive for the most part. And I was like, "This is really the space I need to be in right now to get to a better place." And- Jen: I think it's quite, it's just, it's like world shifting for a lot of people. Bethann: It is. Jen: It's a perspective that you have never been exposed to for some women. Right? Bethann: Right. Jen: It sounds like you shifted from thinking you can fix yourself with weight loss to realizing your body needed healing after having twins. And also what women really need to fix themselves isn't weight loss. It's a better relationship with themselves and food. Bethann: Yeah, I think a lot of women don't. And for me, just as an aside, I lost my mom at 10 to cancer. So I didn't have a woman in my life that really taught me about what most of what I learned about being a woman is from magazines or, what other women or girls around me were learning from magazines. So like all of those, like, you know, the Cosmo and Young Miss and all of those kind of horrible headlines on magazines were like the things that we're picking up. And, and I was like, it's not about makeup and swimsuits and diets and hair removal and any of those products or any of that stuff they push at you. But it took me to 2015 to get that because I didn't have anybody in my life that was able to be like, "No, no, no, no, no. This is all marketing. This isn't how you person"- Jen: Totally. Bethann: "This isn't how you become fully realized or happy with yourself." So to find a group of women who, like, "This is a bunch of BS, there are other things that fulfill you, you know, or even that I've always struggled with that concept that, you know, it's women against women. Like I always, whenever I had girlfriends who were like, "I don't like that girl because of this." And I was always like, "I'm not getting involved." Jen: Right. Bethann: Like, why is it like that? Why is it, why, why is it like that? I never quite understood that. And when I found Healthy Habits I was like "All of these women are uplifting each other and cheering each other on." It was like, these are my people. Like I was still happy. I always have trouble really making connections with girlfriends because there would be people, like I'd always meet women like that and I'm like, "I'm not doing this thing." So I'm moving on. Jen: Yeah. Which is another culturally prescribed behavior, right? That we're sort of pitted against each other. You see it in movies, you see it, you know, in different media that we have to compete for men. And there's just a big scary, you know, we have to be the thinnest. We have to, you know, there's just this big scarcity thing around beauty and - Bethann: Around everything. I feel like scarcity is a big theme. Jen: Well, scarcity drives consumerism, right. So- Bethann: And we don't need any of that stuff, really. We don't. Jen: Yeah. So were, you know, and we need to, you know, I think what we're trying to achieve is getting women to expand their definition of health and happiness. Bethann: Yeah. Jen: Past all the superficial stuff we've been sold that bring us happiness. Right? Bethann: Right, right. And I'm just, I'm so glad I, I'm just so happy to be here and I just feel like so much more of a, like a fuller more well rounded, happy, fulfilled person. Jen: Awesome. We love that. Bethann: Than I did before. I mean, so many wonderful things have come into my life since. Annie: Before we started recording I was just asking you some questions about this episode because having known you for a while I've seen some behavior changes or some non scale victories and even some scale victories that you've celebrated inside the group. And I just kind of blanketly said, "How has your life changed?" And you shared about the diastasis recti healing and you've shared that you have lost some weight, which was maybe a goal of yours at one time. But what I really loved about what you said to me, you said, "I've stopped obsessing about food and exercise and about what my kids eat, but maybe most importantly, I found my clan that helped me find my voice to speak up for myself and to allow myself to take up space in this world." And I think that's like, that's just beautiful. That's really great. Bethann: I really feel like I can, I used to not really say what I thought about things. Like I definitely had an opinion, but I didn't think my voice mattered all that much on issues. And now I'm not afraid to just say like, "Listen, I don't care if you agree with me or not. I think this is important. Annie: And I think when you start acting and believing out of this place of self worth and value just innately because you're human and that you should be treated with respect regardless of your body shape or size or how much you weigh or what food you eat and you're a good person because you're living, breathing person, it spills out to everything in your life and it started affecting how you see people and how you treat people and then in turn what you expect in response and sometimes, like, the stuff that was cutting it years ago isn't okay. Like I identify with the, you know, cutting down of other women when I was really insecure and self conscious, I did that to other women a lot because that's kind of how I talked about myself. And then once I increased my self worth and my value and became more at peace with my body as is, that stuff just melted away. Jen: So such a shift from focusing on the negative of what you saw on other women to focusing on the positive. And as Annie mentioned, that often comes as we build up our own self love, we suddenly feel more loving towards and less judgemental to people around us, which is just such a wonderful headspace to be in. Bethann: Yeah, it's just really nice to just be able to put that positive energy out into the world. Especially, you know, with so much negative things going on. Jen: Right. And you can't put that out there if you are existing in a universe where you feel very negative about yourself. But second to that is that you are, you are depleted, you are empty cup, you have nothing to put out in the world when you have an empty cup. So it's just that cycle of loving yourself, caring for yourself, and if everybody in our society did it, you know what that could do. Annie: Yeah. Good people bring out the good in people. Right? So, Bethann, let's dive into, let's shift gears a little bit and dive into the habits that were game changers for you in the program because I know you had a couple, do you want to share those? Bethann: For me it was a true hunger and goldilocks, really. I had, because I'd been in the Healthy Habits group for so long, I had, like, daily movement and neat down really well, hydration was down really well for me and balanced meals cause I'd done the powerball challenges several times before I did Balance365, but the things are really struggled with was I felt like I didn't know when I was hungry or when I was full ever. And I think part of that was doing, I've done several cycles of Weight Watchers and they were big on having, like, always have a snack with you always know when your next meal is a the five to six small meals, you know, make sure you have your points. And I made like doing the points you could eat, literally eat garbage, you know, within your points range. And I really had no idea when I was hungry or when I was full. I mean, I had no idea. So I really stopped doing that. And I did, you know, I was pretty good at meal prep already and so I would just wait until I felt hungry for breakfast and then once I did that and I was actually getting enough protein, that was really huge. The true hunger thing was really huge because then I was like, I am not hungry at noon, at lunch. Right. I'm not, I'm not hungry when my kids are hungry for lunch. I'm hungry at one 30. I'm not, I don't have to eat when they eat. And then that actually stopped the, you know, when they wanted snacks. I don't actually like Goldfish. I would always eat snack with them. I didn't like them. They don't taste that great. Jen: Wait a moment. Bethann: Or like, or some of the like, I don't really like animal crackers, you know, some of the things that would snack on with them, "I'm like, I don't really enjoy that." I realized I'm not hungry and that doesn't even taste good. So, and then after I got that down, I would actually, I kind of stopped eating breakfast and lunch with the kids and I started doing those two meals separate from them. So when they would like, either go down for a nap or were playing quietly, I would take my time and eat really, really slow. And then I realized, like, I actually can't eat all of this food, like the power bowls, like as you know, the rest of it, the portion sizes are a little bit too big for me and I would actually sometimes eat the, some of the lunch power bowls for the second half for dinner. I didn't realize, you know, I was like, "Oh that is way too much food for me." I didn't realize before, but then getting to that point and then sometimes I would notice, um, like throughout the month, kind of along with my cycle, like just before my cycle I would be super hungry, I could eat a whole powerball. So it was really, those two were really taking it very slow and listening to my body and listening to the different times throughout the month too cause my need would change. Sometimes they'd be really hungry and sometimes I wouldn't. Sometimes I'd need more, sometimes it would be less. So it really depended on, it also would depend on how much sleep I got. Jen: Totally. Bethann: If I got enough sleep then I wouldn't eat as much. If I wasn't getting enough sleep, my body would need more energy to keep me going. Especially with, you know, when I had like three toddlers running around, there was a lot more to do. So it was really, but it was, that was really, now it's easy, but at first it was really hard work because I really had to like slow down and sit with it for awhile and listen. Jen: And probably be imperfect. I think a lot of people struggle with this like, "What if I get this wrong?" And it's like "You are going to get it wrong. Guess what? You're going to get it wrong a lot of times before you get it right." Bethann: I would like, stop. I'd be like, "Okay, I definitely feel full. But then 45 minutes later I'd be like, I'm definitely hungry." So I would go back and eat until I felt full again and then so it was definitely kind of messy. Jen: Yeah, it always is. Annie: That's part of balance that's exploring what's too much and what's too little. Like that's how you find balance. And then like you said, Bethann, sometimes it ebbs and it flows. Like you do need a little bit more food for whatever reason or a little bit less food. Bethann: I felt like, it was just like I didn't stress about it. That was one of the things, like I would always go back to the material and one of the things, so I was like "Don't stress about it" or I would write down, I would take notes and be like, okay, well, you know, I kind of felt, like, I would think about how I felt about it and be like, I just felt more hungry. Like I was trying to be kind of like, "Whatever." I was more hungry. It's just food, right? It's not, I have to pay attention to what I needed. Not, it wasn't a want, it wasn't a, I wasn't having an emotional response to it. I actually physically felt hungry. So I really tried to go "Am I physically hungry or am I emotionally having a problem here that I need to work through?" And it was, you know, and sometimes it wasn't emotional thing. And I was like, "I really need a nap," or I really need to just, I want to eat this because I really am just stressed out. Jen: And sometimes that is what you need and that's fine. It's all about frequency, right? Like how often some people don't have any other tools in their toolbox for coping with stress then to eat. And that can become a big problem if, especially if you have a very stressful life., right? Bethann: And I did use those, the two questions, like what did I do well today? What did I learn? I actually had a reminder on my calendar, on my phone. And so at the end of each day, I would journal that. And then I would say like, "So today I learned I was feeling stressed about this. And my response to that was I either, like, coped pretty well with it by doing, you know, I meditated or I stretched or I went for, I took the kids for a walk because I was feeling anxious and upset about this. Or I talked to my therapist or I did this, or I didn't handle it as well as I would've liked and I ate a sleeve of Oreos but then I would write after it, "That's okay." Like at the time I did something, like, I would prefer I didn't do, I always reminded myself that it was okay. Because it was just one response in the whole of the journey. It was that day's response. It wasn't like I did it for a year. I did it that one situation. That's what I love about the Balance365 thing. Right. it's you doing it right. It's, you working through it. It's not prescribed. There's not meals, there's not points. There's not rules. Jen: It's not a pass or fail program. Bethann: Right. . Jen: It's a journey of self exploration and you can't fail at learning what works for you. Bethann: Exactly. So there's no, you're not going to get slapped on the wrist. Right. So I would write that saying "It's okay" was me saying you have permission to figure it out. So that was a big thing for me. Like you have permission to do what you need to do to figure it out. And so now I'm at the point where I can have a package of Oreos and I remember posting, like "I've had this package of Oreos in my pantry with like an Arrow to where it was and I forgot about it for three months." Jen: Yeah. Like, how does that happen? Bethann: Unopened for three months. And they're my, like, I am not a big store bought cookie person, but those were my favorite store bought cookies and I forgot I put them in my pantry. I bought them for me and I forgot about them. And I was like, "How did I get to that point?" Because they were kind of like my stress cookie. Jen: Well, you're not preoccupied with them any more and food preoccupations come from restricting and dieting. And when people approach changing their nutrition, they immediately go to, "Okay, what are all the bad foods I'm eating? What do I have to cut out? What do I not have control around?" But I guess what we have to understand is that it's actually the restricting that is causing those preoccupations and in order to fix this issue, you can't fix it at stopping and restricting. You have to address, you have to stop restricting that is the answer, which is very scary for some people. Bethann: Yeah. I mean, now I can keep all sorts of things in the house where I'm just like, "Yep, we've got that in the pantry and I don't really care." Jen: And it's just food. It's always going to be there. It's not, it doesn't have any power over you Yeah, totally. It's a great place to be. I wanted to circle back a bit to calories because you talked about being a point counter and all of that and we have a podcast on calorie counting in which Lauren does a good deep dive into the science behind calorie counting. I think we talk about when it hurts, when it helps, but one of the main issues is if anyone listening has an extensive history of counting calories or points or you know, whatever it is, one of the drawbacks of that is that it can disconnect you from your hunger and satiety cues. And our hunger and satiety cues are, honestly, our best calorie counters. And if you want to punch into a machine and get a rough estimate of what your daily energy expenditure is, that's fine. That can, but it is just an estimate because as you mentioned, our caloric needs change on a daily basis. If I go for a long run, one day, my caloric needs are different than the days when I'm sitting at my desk working most of the days, most of the day, if I am pmsing my body actually needs 90 to 300 calories extra those days than it does when I'm not premenstrual. And so when you're disconnected from your hunger and satiety, and when you aren't honoring your hunger and satiety, then you're going to be fighting with it. And it's always going to be this wrestle with your body of "Wow, you know, I feel hungry or I'm having these cravings, but I couldn't possibly, I'm at my point level for the day. " And as we know and have discussed in this podcast that wrestling with your body being at war with your body, you just never win it. I don't know really anyone who's winning that. Right, it inevitably leads to a binge and bad feelings and that cycle that almost every woman is stuck in. Bethann: I think I remember getting my points range for Weight Watchers and then like anytime I would go over I just felt bad about myself. Annie: So Bethann, I think, your experience with hunger and Goldilocks is, or I know, I don't think, I know is something that is been life changing for a lot of women in the program, myself included. It was such a game changer habit. And, what would you say are, in addition to the hunger and Goldilocks habits and all the other habits that you mentioned, what would you say, what's been the outcome so far of your effort into the program? Bethann: So, I've definitely, like, my body composition has changed, and I have lost weight but that, like I said, it wasn't my main focus because I feel like I gained a lot more self confidence and self love and value. But also just for my family, for my boys, I don't really worry about what they eat. I notice too, even like when we go to the donut shop and they'll pick out donuts, they don't eat the whole donut, they eat what they want and then they push it away, which to me really says something like they, that's a sweet treat. And that's not something, we don't get donuts every single day. But even then, you know, I know a lot of adults would be like "Donuts!" And they eat the whole thing. Jen: And some kids, once they get to a certain age, right? Like this is a skill we all kind of innately have. These are cues. Like when we have to go to the bathroom, we go to the bathroom. When we're tired, we go to sleep, our hunger and satiety are cues that we have and the thing is adults take that away from kids, right? By trying to control and restrict and tell them "This is good and this is bad" and if we didn't take that away from them then we'd probably all be okay today, but we're not. Bethann: Yeah. And that was another thing that he said, he came back and he said, "Sugar is bad," and I said, "Sugar is not bad. Sugar is in everything." He said, "Well, what do you mean?" I said, "Well, this apple you're eating has sugar, that orange has sugar, the potatoes have sugar, the bread has sugar." I said, "Sugar is not bad. It's in everything." I said, "It's not the only thing you want to eat. We want to eat some of everything." I said, "It's just part of, it's just food. Everything is just food." So you can't, no, you can't just survive on donuts, but you also can't just survive on carrots. We can't survive on ham. So- Annie: There's that balance and moderation coming back again. Bethann: So, you know, I, so I just have to, I kind of feel like, I'm like, okay, "Yep, that's what they said in school. But remember, you know, it's about what your body needs. If you ate just donuts all day you wouldn't feel very good, but if you ate just carrots, you wouldn't feel very good either. It's like, yeah, I know that. So, you know, I just kind of go back to it and it's the same with exercise I said, you know, "You can't run all day. You need to go to bed too or you need to sit and rest or you need to stretch. I mean, you can't just do that." And I exercise in front of the kids. My parents never ever exercised at all. So I was not an athletic kid in the least. An I did not, I did not do team sports in school, anything like that. It took me a really long time to find movement I liked. Arms Like Annie really helped me. I really. Jen: I'm on week 20 myself, actually, on Arms Like Annie program. Bethann: I'm doing Everyday Strong right now because I finished Arms like Annie, so I'm doing Everyday Strong then I'm going to go back to Arms Like Annie, but I really like weight lifting and I really like feeling strong. So I do it with the boys. They really love the inchworms and mountain climbers. The four year olds, the twins are like, "Is it an inch worm and Mountain Climber Day?" And they're down on the floor and it's really, really cute. But I love that they go, "Mom, is it time to exercise? Where's your workbook?" Because I printed it out. So then, "Where's the workbook? Let's do the timer for the 30 seconds. Are we dancing? Are we doing jumping jacks?" Like they know the workout and they're asking which day we're doing, "Do we need the resistance band or do you need your dumbbell?" And they know all of the workouts. And then even sometimes we do the videos on Youtube, we'll put it on the TV and, and they go, "Oh, is that Annie or is that Jen?" They know everybody and it's really great because they will come out and they'll come, they'll, you know, do everything with everyone. Annie: And, well, I even remember when I was in Arizona, I think I ended up like sending you like a FaceTime. Did we facetime? Bethann: He's like, "Will, Annie say hi to me? Annie: Like we're real humans. Jen: That's adorable. Bethann: I know, like, you guys are celebrities to my kids so, they're in the living room. They were like, "Are you talking to Annie and Jen?" "Yes. Right now." Oh my gosh, they're so excited. Annie: Maybe we need to branch out and do a kids exercise programs. Jen: Yeah, we can get ourselves a Sunday morning special. Bethann: But they could keep up with the adult stuff you do. I mean, they're like, "Are we doing the Sweaty Betty today?" Annie: Oh, I love it. Jen: Oh that's so cute! Bethann: You know, all of it. What I like is that I can do it in the living room with the kids. Annie: Yes. Well, Bethann, thank you so much for your time. Jen: Yes, thank you. Annie: I appreciate it. This is so good chatting with you, and I know you're going to inspire a lot of our community members to make changes for their kids and for themselves along the way, because yes, let's end those predatory companies. Bethann: Yes. Thanks so much for having me. You guys have really just, you make the world a better place. Thank you so much. Annie: Thank you for being a part of it. Jen: Thank you. Annie: Okay. We'll chat soon. Bethann: Okay. Annie: Okay, thank you Bethann: Bye. Jen: Bye. Annie: This episode is brought to you by the Balance365 program. If you're ready to say goodbye to quick fixes and false promises and yes to building healthy habits and a life you're 100% in love with then check out Balanced365.co to learn more.
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| 25 Sep 2024 | Episode 343: Q+A - I Want to Quit Dieting, But I’m Afraid of Weight Gain | 00:09:56 | |
Episode OverviewIn today's episode, we tackle a question that resonates with many: How do you handle the fear of weight gain after quitting restrictive dieting? For those who've been trapped in the yo-yo diet cycle for years, the prospect of abandoning restrictive eating can be nerve-wracking. Listen to learn how to manage these fears and cultivate a healthier mindset around potential weight gain. Before you hit play, make sure you've grabbed our free guide, "How to Build a Balanced Meal." In this valuable resource, you'll learn what balanced eating really means, how it supports your nutritional and weight goals, and why the components of a balanced plate help you control hunger and cravings. Enjoy! Key Points
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| 08 Nov 2023 | Episode 297: How I Stopped Speaking Harshly to My Body—A Grown Ass Woman Email Sneak Peek | 00:09:24 | |
Episode OverviewIn today’s bite-sized episode, Jen offers a special glimpse into one of her Grown Ass Woman emails, focusing on how she manages her negative body image thoughts. Join her as she shares a heartfelt recounting of a very challenging body image day, and what she did to overcome it. Listen for powerful insights into your own path towards self-acceptance and self-compassion. Don’t miss out on Annie and Jen’s future personal narratives, lessons learned, and reflections inside the Grown Ass Woman newsletter. Subscribe right here: www.balance365.com/email. Key Points
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| 24 Jun 2020 | Episode 122: What Is A Fat Loss Workout? | 00:31:23 | |
Can you have a workout that’s specifically about fat loss? Or is calling it a “fat loss workout” just marketing and click bait? This week, co-founders Jennifer Campbell and Annie Brees interview Balance365 coach Barbara St. Louis and agree to disagree on the intention behind whether or not a movement labeled as a “fat loss workout” is helpful, harmful or neither. Tune in to see which way you lean! Come be social with us! Balance365 Facebook: Weight Loss Without Restriction Balance365 Instagram: @balance365life | |||
| 13 Mar 2024 | Episode 315: 5 Supplements Every Woman Should Consider for Healthy Aging | 00:46:03 | |
Episode OverviewOur favorite menopause nutrition duo is back! This time, Registered Dietitians and authors Elizabeth Ward and Hillary Wright are here to discuss what supplements every aging woman should consider. We love Liz and Hillary, as they are passionate about dispelling menopause misconceptions and offer evidence-based nutrition and wellness support with a delightful touch of humor. We know you’re going to love them as much as we do! If you love our podcast, just wait until you work with us! Balance365 Coaching opens on March 18th. Add your name to our obligation-free waitlist to get access to spots 24 hours before the general public, and we’ll waive the $199 join fee! Key Points
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| 06 Nov 2024 | Episode 349: Coaching Sessions - Why Can't Andrea Pass Up Halloween Candy? | 00:37:22 | |
Episode OverviewContinuing our holiday coaching series, today we sit down with Andrea from Ottawa who shares a common struggle: the holiday season spiral. While successful with nutrition throughout the year, Andrea finds herself anxious as the holidays approach, knowing she'll have difficulty saying “no” to Halloween candy, party foods, and holiday baked goods. Her story is likely to resonate with many – caught in a cycle of cravings, giving in, feeling guilty, and repeating the pattern day after day. In this episode, Jen works with Andrea to break down her specific challenge with Halloween candy, exploring the root causes of her cravings and building practical strategies to maintain alignment with her goals. If you enjoy this coaching session, just wait until you work with us. Our life-changing nutrition coaching program opens again in January. Join the waitlist to access your spot 24 hours before the public, and we’ll waive the $199 registration fee. Get all the details here. Key Points
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| 29 Sep 2021 | Episode 187: 3 Ways to Shift Your Mindset for Better Weight Loss | 00:12:52 | |
Episode OverviewHow many times have you set a weight loss goal, started and then thrown in the towel shortly after? What do you think you need to change in order for you to finally reach your goals? You might be thinking “I need a better diet” or “I need a better fitness routine” but in most cases, the needed adjustment is mindset! Having a growth mindset is one of the most powerful tools a person can have. In today’s quick episode, Annie gives you three powerful ways to change your thoughts to better weight loss results. Enjoy! NOTE: If you missed the first half of this two-part podcast, we recommend that you go back to episode 186 and take our super short mindset quiz! FREE BONUS! If you struggle with chaotic eating, like so many of the women we know, download our free guide, Binge Eating: Why You Do It & How to Stop today! Key Points
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| 22 Nov 2023 | Episode 299: How Redefining Self Care Transformed Michelle’s Life, Health, and Habits | 00:48:30 | |
Episode OverviewIt’s time for another Member Spotlight! Today, you’ll meet Michelle, a remarkable woman, mother of three, and dedicated oncology nurse from New Hampshire. Michelle's Balance365 journey started with a significant shift: learning to prioritize her needs amidst her demanding work and family life. Her journey has resulted in some incredible changes to her habits, which led to Michelle losing 30lbs. Tune in to gain a deeper understanding of Michelle's inspiring mindset shifts and the positive changes that have led to her living a life she loves. Enjoy! If you want to kickstart your weight loss journey, then it’s time to join Balance365. On January 22nd, our life-changing nutrition coaching program opens to the waitlist. Join the waitlist now for early access and save $199! Key Points
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| 23 Mar 2020 | Episode 106: Staying Calm And Healthy In Chaos Part 1 | 00:48:56 | |
The world has been rocked by the COVID-19, or Corona virus, pandemic, and we know many of our listeners are anxious about the situation. On this episode, Balance365 co-founders Annie and Jen give you a little sneak peek into some of the mindset coaching techniques that are used in the program. You’ll get a sense of how to figure out what is healthy for you during these stressful times and how to manage your anxiety. This episode is the first in a series of 3 episodes related to keeping calm in our current situation, so watch out for the other 2 episodes releasing this week. | |||
| 13 Nov 2024 | Episode 350: Coaching Sessions: Can Michelle Avoid the “I’ll Just Start Over in January” Mindset | 00:48:08 | |
Episode OverviewToday, we’re kicking off a special series featuring coaching sessions with women from our audience who have concerns about their health, wellness, and weight over the holiday season. In this episode, Annie talks to Michelle, who finds herself saying 'yes' to sweet treats a little too often, especially with the abundance available around the holidays. Each year, she battles the ‘screw it’ mentality, telling herself she’ll 'start over in January.' Together, Annie and Michelle discuss Michelle’s goals and how she wants to feel in January, then dive into the barriers that are holding her back. If you’re ready for life-changing nutrition coaching, don’t miss our next enrollment period! Join the waitlist to access your spot 24 hours before the public, and we’ll waive the $199 registration fee. Visit www.balance365.com/waitlist for all the details. Key Points
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| 15 Jan 2025 | Episode 359: 4 Sneaky Habits That Trigger Emotional Eating | 00:37:51 | |
Episode OverviewIn today’s episode, Jen and Annie dive into the topic of emotional eating and the habits that might be fueling it. They’re breaking down four sneaky behaviors that could be making it much harder to overcome emotional eating than it needs to be. Tune in to learn what these habits are and how you can start making changes today! But before you hit play, our life-changing nutrition coaching program opens for enrollment next week! Get your name on our waitlist to access spots 24 hours before the general public, and we will waive the $199 registration fee. Key Points
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| 30 Aug 2023 | Episode 287: The 5 Stages of Grief When You Quit Dieting | 00:14:02 | |
Episode OverviewWhen you quit dieting, you may find yourself riding waves of emotions you didn’t expect. In today’s solo podcast episode, Jen is going to discuss the experience so many women are having: riding waves of grief. We know this sounds dramatic, but letting go of fad diets and the belief there is a “fast fix” for your struggles means challenging a whole belief system. It can come with leaving behind a whole community or letting go of part of your identity. It can be socially isolating. It can leave you feeling confused and lost. We made this episode so you’ll know you’re not alone. We've been there, and many of our members have, too. Come explore this journey with us. If you want to continue this journey together, Balance365 opens in under 3 weeks! Join our waitlist today and you'll receive access to spots 24 hours before the general public, plus we'll waive the $199 join fee. Secure your waitlist spot today! Key Points
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| 11 Nov 2020 | Episode 142: How Weight Loss Obsession Leads To Weight Gain | 00:49:34 | |
We live in a culture that has normalized becoming preoccupied with the size and shape of bodies. This has led us to the point that some people only experience their lives through the lens of weight and size. Be honest: how much time do you spend thinking about your body? If you’ve been around for a while, you’ll know that at Balance365 we absolutely believe you can have weight loss goals. But, we also believe that it’s detrimental to that goal AND your overall health, to be consumed by it. Join us as we dive into the obsessions that drive the quick-fix diet culture we live in and uncover how they impact our bodies on a physiological level. Could the pursuit of thinness actually be leading people to gain weight year after year? Tune in to find out! SIGN UP to get in on the Cut the Crap Video Series here! Come be social with us! Balance365 Facebook: Weight Loss Without Restriction Balance365 Instagram: @balance365life | |||
| 09 Feb 2022 | Episode 206: The Pros And Cons Of Weighing Yourself | 00:41:15 | |
Episode OverviewLast week, Jen talked about weight fluctuations. Today we want to continue that conversation by digging deeper into the questions: "How often should I weigh myself? What’s helpful? What’s harmful?" The answer to that of course is, it depends! Come listen while we unpack the considerations for each option so you can figure out what’s right for YOU.Don't forget, if you want individualized coaching from Annie and Jen and the Balance365 coaches, you can join our waitlist and get priority access when we open enrollment again! Click here to sign up! Key Points
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| 20 Mar 2019 | Episode 58: Balance365 Member Spotlight: Beth | 00:47:50 | |
The Member Spotlight Mini Series continues as Jen and Annie interview Beth, a long-time Balance365 members whose daily gym selfies help keep other community members stay motivated. Beth is one of the amazing women in the Balance365 community - tune in for her inspiring, down to earth perspective on healthy habits and the good that comes from them that goes far beyond weight loss.
What you’ll hear in this episode:
Resources: New Jeans And Vacation Without Shame: Sarah’s Story Small, Sustainable Changes: A Balance365 Journey With Danica How To Fall In Love With Exercise, Even If You Hate It Episode 21: Before You Delete – How To Handle A Photo You Hate Learn more about Balance365 Life here Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Play, or Android so you never miss a new episode! Visit us on Facebook| Follow us on Instagram| Check us out on Pinterest Join our free Facebook group with over 40k women just like you! Did you enjoy the podcast? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Google Play! It helps us get in front of new listeners so we can keep making great content. TranscriptAnnie: Thank you so much for joining us for another episode of Balance365 Life radio. We are back today with our mini series called Members Spotlights. This allows us to introduce you to Balance365 community members who are just killing it inside the program so you can take their wisdom and stories and learn from them. They are busy women and moms just like you who are changing their habits, their mindsets and reaching their goals. Today you're going to hear from one Balance365 member who is determined to find changes she could make that produce results without taking over her life. Beth is a seasoned member of our community and is a self-proclaimed member of the slow starter team but since deciding to take action she has made great strides towards her goals including more balanced dinners and consistent exercise. I can't wait for you to hear more about Beth's experience. Enjoy! Beth, welcome to Balance365 Life Radio, how are you? Beth: I'm OK. How are you guys? Annie: We are golden, we're so happy to have you, we as in me and Jen. Jen's here too. Jen, how are you? Jen: Hi, good. Yes. Annie: We woke you up. You are in a beautiful house coat this morning. Lauren: My Instagram audience is quite accustomed to seeing this housecoat so all good, all good. Not ashamed! Annie: Now it's a signature look and full disclosure, I put one on my wish list. Jen: You don't have a housecoat. Annie: I don't have a housecoat. We call them a robe- Jen: That's bizarre. Annie: Beth, do you call it a housecoat or a robe? Beth: So I call it a robe but what I wear is a housedress. Jen: Oh, I love that. Annie: That's next level, is that like a nightgown? Beth: Yep. Annie: So Jen- Jen: That's my 1950s dream, like but with rights. Annie: I don't know how you can not get twisted when you sleep in house coats. Beth: I don't sleep in it. Jen: Sometimes I sleep in my housecoat. It depends what's going on in my life. Beth: I keep it next to my bed so I can throw it on when I have to go deal with things but no, I'm not wearing it to bed, no. Jen: No, I wear my nighties, they're these silky long things, I don't. I just, you should try it. Annie: No, I'm good in my tank top and sweats. Jen: It's like that meme that went around with the spaghetti straps and the boobs out. Annie: Boobs falling out. Jen: That is me sleeping in a tank top. Beth: Remember when we were like "We're going to stay on topic" Annie: I know that's what I was just going to say, before we started recording we were like, I was talking about how I am pretty good at staying on topic but Jen and Beth are chatty cathies in the most wonderful way possible, they have a lot to say and whereas like, I'm going to keep these ladies on topic and look at us now. Jen: I heard you going for, I saw you going for the B word there and then your lips changed to ladies. Beth: I really respect where they were going. Annie: You know what, the B word in my vocabulary is a term of endearment. Jen: Yes. Annie: But we have also labeled this podcast as clean which is very, very challenging for me so I feel like I deserve snaps for that. OK so, Beth, you have a long, long time member of Balance365 and you have actually been one of those women we've kind of consulted on across the years, I've called you personally and said like "Hey, what do you think of this? What's the vibe on this? What's the community feel on this? And you kind of been, I don't know, like a good sounding board because ultimately we're here for you and our community and you've always been really in touch with our community, so thanks for joining us on the show, it's like about time we have you on. Beth: Yay! I don't know what to say. I'm just happy to be here. Annie: OK. Well, why don't you tell us the Cliff Notes version of how you found Balance365. Beth: Sure, so my sister-in-law, who was recently featured on your podcast, Sarah, she added me to the public group without telling me and this is back in the day when you guys added people in like large groups and so one day and just all the stuff was in my feed. And I was a little bit shocked but it was a message that I really felt good about and it was close to what I was already kind of following in my own social media. So I was in the public group probably, well, you know, 6 months or so and then you guys had a, at the time again Balance365 was going all at once, people were going in groups and so I joined in September of 2016. And yeah, that's the Cliff notes version of how I ended up with y'all. Annie: In hindsight, do you think adding people to the group without telling them is a good start? Because that comes up a lot, like- Jen: That still happens. Annie: And then people, sometimes people are like "How did I get in this group and what is this?" Because our message is quite revolutionary and our opinions so to get and it's big, it's active in a really great way but as you said, when you join the group it can be a little bit like "Whoa!" Like. Beth: Yeah so I think that that strategy can backfire or it can go well, right, so I think for me it was great but I think sometimes for the community it's hard, like people adding, you know, kind of drive by adding their friends to the community, especially if your attitude is "My friend really needs to do the program because she's so crazy and won't stop talking about her bizarre diet, I'm going to add her to this group" like that's horrifying to the community, right, like, because then this person is in there being like "Let me show you my before and after, I lost 100 pounds in 4 months and I never ate any carbs " and you're like "Ahh!" Jen: Totally and then it kind of disrupts the community and some people feel upset even, because they say "I'm in this group to get away from that kind of stuff" Annie: And then the individual can often get defensive and- Jen: Yeah, it's really difficult. I think it's better if people organically find us. Beth: In general I would agree. Annie: Or you approach your person, your friend in real life and say "Hey I've got a group I think you'd really like, would you mind if I add you? Or can I send you a link to join?" Yeah. Well, I'm so happy that Sarah added you and if you haven't listen to Sarah's podcast. Sarah has such a wonderful story too. She's had so many wins in our group and you can find her podcast, we can put that in the show notes too, she's just a gem of a woman. Jen: I enjoy her. Beth: She's my fave. Annie: Is she your only sister? Beth: She's actually my sister-in-law. We're married to twins so I met my husband in college and then I set her up with his brother. We were high school best friends. Annie: Oh that's perfect. I see what you did there, you were just trying to curate your family with people you like. Beth: No new friends. Annie: I love it and now look at you, you're on a podcast with 40,000 women. OK. So, let's let's get to it. You joined Balance365 in 2016. You purchased it a while ago but honestly, as you have been open and shared with us in our community, that it took you awhile to committing to the process and since fully committing you've experienced quite a few changes including weight loss. Can you tell us more about your experience with that? Beth: Sure, so when I joined in September 2016 I was just finishing law school. And starting a career at 35 and I really thought, like, now I'll have too much to implement some habits and lose weight and that was crazy. I don't know what I was thinking. I was entering a new field I was going from having not work a full time job in 8 or 9 years to working 50 plus hours a week so like, it really was not a perfect time for me to focus on implementing habits but I just kind of slowly would implement, like, you know, one habit halfway for 4 or 5 months and you know, dabbled, I did a lot of dabbling. "Oh maybe this is the one! Maybe this is the one! Maybe this is the one!" And there is nothing wrong with that. I actually think that a lot of women when they join program they kind of need a time of doing that. Because they've been relying on programs that project, that portion of my growth. I was stuck there for quite a while, like just about 2 years. And for me that wasn't great, like, I think I was there too long. I needed to kick start something sooner and I think, I see a lot of women in our community who sometimes have that problem, like they get to this point where they're like, "I have to completely address my sleep problem before I can address anything else or I have to completely address this one thing that I'm worried about before I can address something else and for me, I was getting stuck there. Jen: We, it's sort of like, it's like you're waiting for things to be perfect before you can start or something like "My life must look like this and then I can start" and Danica addressed this in her podcast with us as well and I mean, she had the same realisation, nothing changes unless something changes and there is never going to be a perfect time. Beth: Yeah, I, you know, I think it was not the right time, like it was not a good time for me to start when I joined the program. I'm not sad that I did it when I did. I'm happy for the time that I spent allowing myself, because I think that's the other thing is I think some of the women come in and they're, some people who come into a group in any kind of group and they're like, I paid for this and now I have to do it, right? And I think that's relatively unproductive a way to think about things because this is a lifelong experience, right? I can change my habits from now until I die. I don't have to change them all right, you know. And so I think there was a positive to be had with sitting and being like nothing is really changing and that's OK but if you, for me I was starting to feel frustrated with that, that kind of for me was the moment of being like "OK" but then as Danica said, if I don't change something, nothing will change and so for me, some of it was just identifying what kind of habit I can change that would produce a change in my life but not take over my life. I don't want a program that takes over my life. I think that's really important to me. I can't think of anything less interesting than thinking about food and exercise all day and so I needed something that I could make small change and for me that was, I just planned my dinners and then I just ate what I planned. And it's so boring and so mundane but it's what I did and it immediately resulted in changes to my body. Jen: So you were, I guess, that would be your dinner habit which is just one section of Balance365 that we have you address and did it dramatically change what you were eating or how much you were eating or? Beth: So really it was a matter of just, I think it changed the macro makeup of my- Jen: Right, the balance of it. Beth: Yeah, the balance. I was already eating all the all the correct things, I just was kind of addressing, you know, how much protein I really needed at dinner. I was looking at my dinner as a whole instead of just like, well, here's the meat and your vegetable or whatever, like, I was kind of looking at it as whole, you know, like, "OK, what can I change? What will help me stay full? What will be satisfying? What will I be willing to eat? I am known, I suppose, in the community I meal plan once for a whole season because I hate meal planning, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. So I meal plan at the beginning of a season and then we need the same 7 dinners for 13 weeks, which is not for everyone but it works for me and so by picking things that I actually knew I would eat and that were balanced I was less likely to be like "I don't feel like eating that! I'm just going to the drive through?" or I think one big thing for me is they were easy. I picked easy things, which I will say during the 2 years when I was not actually implementing the program, I for sure would see Lauren and Annie talking about hating cooking and I would be like, "Oh come on, ladies, like, it's just not that hard, like, just, like how hard is it, right? But as I implemented this career that, you know, required, like, I have to lean on my husband a lot more to do a lot of that stuff and so planning things that I knew that at the end of the day it would be, there was chicken in the fridge and I could just take a bagged salad and throw it on top of it, like, it made it so that I would actually do it and so I just did, I just ate the dinner that I planned. I think that's so boring but it's what I did. Jen: The thing is studies show that one of the biggest contributing factors to our food choices is convenience and so this is not it's not necessarily a flaw of humans, it's something, you know, it's population wide but we are busy people, we are very busy people and that's why meal planning works. The majority of women who work with us are actually working women, like working outside of the home, women and you know and so you know, we get it. Like, I mean, Annie, Lauren and I work so you, when it comes to supper time, you know, it's just, you know, I don't have time in my day to sit down in the morning and decide what we're having for the day and go to the grocery store and get all those ingredients and you know, I used to do that. I used to really enjoy it, like, I really did enjoy that component of being a stay at home but working, being a working mom is a whole new ballgame and yeah, meal planning can be just such a stress reducer, in a working family, I shouldn't say woman, I should say family. Bring boys in close here. Annie: You know, circling back to when you're talking about how Lauren I hate cooking. Beth: Sorry. Annie: No, no, I can own that because I don't, it's not that I can't, I mean, I can follow directions and probably cook some meals but I just don't want to, like, just like some people don't want to run or don't want to exercise or just like that's just not how I want to spend my time so that's why I really love Balance365 is because I'm not like, if it doesn't work for you, it doesn't work period. And so for me to go out and buy this meal plan that requires all this cooking or all this meal prepping or all this like grocery shopping, like that's just not going to, like it to me it feels like me trying to fit a, what is it? A square peg into a round hole, like, I could maybe do that for a while, like white knuckling, I could like stick to the plan for a little bit but eventually I'd like, that doesn't sound fun, like, that's just not like something I enjoy. So I can still balance my meals in a way that works for me that doesn't require a lot of cooking or a lot of meal prepping or on the flipside, someone that likes to cook can also do a lot of cooking with it if they want. If that's how they want to spend their time and it's like no judgment or no, neither one is better and worse than the other, it's just what works for you, period, is all we're really concerned with. Jen: I wanted to circle back to those 2 years where you weren't inactive, that's the thing, it's not like you bought and then you were inactive, you were very active in the group particularly in, we have a spin off group and some spin off groups, I guess, it's the Facebook group that's attached to our strength program Arms like Annie and you were active in Balance365 as well as you were quite active in Arms Like Annie. So it's not that you actually didn't do anything. You implemented an exercise habit. Beth: That's true, yep, but as, I mean, we've talked about it in the community, many times, like, an exercise habit is wonderful and there's so many positive things you gain from an exercise habit, but you know, if I just change nothing about my dietary habits, my nutrition habits, you know, it may not make a big dent in my fat loss and it didn't but it did produce lots of other positives. Jen: Absolutely, there's so many, you know, I would say fat loss is the last reason to work out. I mean, that's me personally, I don't know how other people feel but there's just so many health benefits to it that you don't even have to throw fat loss on the list, so but that's so, that's wonderful for you, really, holistically to have an exercise habit nailed and then you moved on to nutrition and- Annie: You know, that's actually one of my favorite things about Beth is that she is posting her selfies, her gym selfies at ridiculous hours in the morning because sleep is, you know, a love hate thing with you sometimes, so you go to the gym in the morning by yourself and you post your selfie and half the time you're like "Look, I didn't want to do this but I'm here and now and now I feel better or now I know my day is going to like take off in a completely different direction had I hit the snooze alarm or turn off the alarm and not come at all" and I love that you own it, just like I own I don't like cooking. You don't really like exercise but you see the benefits, like, you feel better, your day goes better, the rest of your habits seem to fall in line, which you've said before, it's kind of a snowball habit, like, your day is just different when you exercise, right? Beth: Yes, that whole, yeah, there's a lot I guess I'm trying to stay on topic, there's a lot to say about my gym habit and my selfies and all of that. I do find I don't enjoy exercise, it's not, I danced in, like, my youth, when I was pre-college I was a dancer and I loved that but I never really found that same level of enjoyment from any other kind of exercise, including like, people were like "You should take a group fitness class, that's like dance based." No thank you, I don't want to, I'm not interested. It's not the same. You know, and people are like "You should do the barre method." Please, no thank you. I will just not. I will just watch my daughters dance and I will get the same enjoyment from that and my sons. I get enjoyment from that but not with the exercise. So I am, I did, I don't like cardio at all, and so I bought Arms like Annie and I think when I bought it there might not have been a spinoff group yet and it turned out the Facebook's spinoff group really helped me achieve consistency with my habit and I feel so ridiculous, I will be honest, like, the selfies feel ridiculous to be me most days. But so there's a couple things, I guess, on the selfie thing, one is, I was mentioned in a previous podcast about what if you hate exercise, so I do, I put selfies every day when I'm in the gym, partly to create a sense of accountability to the group that I've said I will do this and I will do it and I show up. And as weird as it feels to me because I don't think I've done anything inspirational, like, I have women both in our community and women who like follow me on Instagram who are like, they feel that it is inspirational that I get up and I go to the gym. Jen: It is. I find, sometimes I see them in the morning and I'm like "Oh, just go, Jen, just do it, Beth did it. Annie: Beth did it, you can do it too. Beth: It's hard for me to see it as inspirational. I really try and treat my social media like, I try to treat it like a real, when I was coming, when I was having kids, I'm a little older than, my kids are older than y'all's kids and when they were coming up I found it really hard, there wasn't as much social media and I felt really alone in hating being a mom, like I hated it and I felt alone, so when I tried to put myself out on social media in any way, I tried to be really honest about who I am and how it feels. So I do say, I hate cardio, I hate that I'm here in the gym, I say "I had to talk myself into every single set I did today." And I feel like, I see that there are women who feel the same way and they do see it as inspirational that I went. It's funny because I kind of see it as just me like kvetching into the like universe but I see why people feel it's inspirational but also, I do the selfies for me. So a long time ago in the community, I think it was when I was in the public facing group, Jen had recommended something and I somehow came to to the work of Vivian McMaster, she's a photographer and she focuses on, she has programs focusing on self portraiture as part of, like, self acceptance and Annie said the same thing a number of times in the group, like, just taking pictures of ourselves and just seeing what we look like can get us to body neutrality. Jen: We have a whole podcast, not a whole podcast but we've mentioned this in a podcast and it's the whole thing of if you don't like the way you look in photos, you shouldn't take less, you should take more and look at yourself more. You need to get used to the way you look. Beth: Yeah, so I am, I really have tried to, like, so I will say I don't post a lot of unattractive selfies of myself, I'm still extraordinarily vain. Annie: Yeah, like you're feeling yourself. Beth: But I take, literally, in a month, probably thousands of selfies, like, I met admit how narcissistic that sounds but whatever, here it is. And they are attractive and unattractive and they are from angle that look good for me and the angles that don't because when I take them and I see myself I become, like, inoculated against seeing myself. And there was a long time where I was taking a ton of gym selfies and I was feeling good because I was taking a specific angle and I was avoiding all the other angles and I went on a trip with my friends and somebody posted, you know, a picture of a group of us and "Ahhh!" It was like a wake up call that, like, OK, like, I've lost some of the honesty of this practice. And I needed to get back to taking pictures and seeing myself for what it really is and this is just my body, this is just the body that I live in and it's fine and sometimes I feel really great about it and other times I feel kind of ambivalence about the whole thing and neither of those is the right emotion, they are just how I feel in that moment and so, I, so, yeah, so I take selfies for me as well I don't just take them to be an inspiration to the community. Annie: I love it because, to me, to me it's an act of self-love and it's an expression of self-love and I think, it's, sometimes women need permission to do the same and when they see other women taking selfies at the gym from good angles, from bad angles, like, this is cute, I don't really like this but I'm going to post it anyway because this is me like it gives women the permission to do the same and in fact, along the same lines of kind of what both you and Jen were talking about is we don't really cultivate self love by just focusing on the stuff we love, it's also exploring the stuff that we maybe don't love or even the stuff we hate and like why do we hate this, what is it about this, where did this start, where did this come from? Like and how can we move through that or at least like not be so dang uncomfortable with it, like you said when you see that photo, like, "Oh my god, delete, untag, get rid of that, I don't ever want to see it again!" Like maybe just sit with it, which we have a whole another podcast on that we can link in the show notes too but yeah, so I love that about you, Beth, I love that you, you just own it and if you've ever posted a selfie on social media best sees it, she is your top hype woman. She is like, liking that stuff, she's commenting, she's responding to your story, like, "Yes, woman, yes" Jen: Women should, they should do that for each other, we should be celebrating each other non stop because we are coming out of an era where we shamed, we were shamed and we've shamed each other. We are coming out of that era and it's time we women need to stop hiding, post all the selfies. Beth: Absolutely. Annie: Beth will have, I'm just going to, I hope you don't mind me- Jen: I'm going to post one today now. And I'm going to wait for Beth to comment on it. Annie: I hope you don't mind me sharing, Beth but Beth, you even posted, because we're friends on Facebook, like, I think you said something like, I've had a glass of wine or something, post your selfies so I can hype you up. You were going to work, you're like "This is like, I'm going to spend, you know, X amount of time hyping up women in my life, like, telling them how awesome they are." Jen: We're doing a selfie now. Beth: Okay, sorry, i just needed to take one for the gram, I was doing it for the gram. So yes I, so I have a very boring career as a real estate attorney, it's not anything real super exciting and it's not the work that I, I mean- Jen: It's not Law and Order? Beth: No and I love what I do but it is not, it's not lifting up people, you know, the way that I want my life, the way I want my life's work to be and what I have come to realize is like, you can have a career and you can also have a life's work and they don't have to be the same thing and I really truly believe that my life's work is about helping people feel good about themselves and accepting themselves and so it's weird because, like, I'm not, I'm just a girl who has friends on Facebook. Like, I'm not, I'm not, I don't have a public facing Facebook page and on how that's not what my life is about, I can only touch so many lives because I am a busy mom but I have a community of, especially because I went to law school late in life, I have a community of women who are younger than me who, I'm like, you could do this before you're 35, you could be in love with the life that you are choosing, you could be in love with it now and you can accept yourself radically now, you do not have to wait until you're an old woman, you don't have to wait until you have gray hair to decide to love what you look like and so I do. I will, especially, it's true if I drink I'm especially likely to just troll my friends' Instagrams. Jen: Loving up on all of them. Beth: But I will also, like, if I'm having a bad day I will ask people to post selfies in my comment sections so I can tell them how great they are because- Jen: Oh, that's so lovely. Beth: It really does make me feel better, like I feel better doing that and as Jen, I do think, I think loving yourself radically as a woman is a feminist act, like, I think it is saying to society that, like, you know, you can kick rocks, like, this is what we're doing now. Jen: Yeah, we're loving each other, like we are, this is not a woman against woman society anymore.. Beth: No and I saw a meme the other day day and it said something along the lines of "Who needs to send scandalous pictures to men when we can just celebrate each other" and that's how I feel, right, like, you don't have to, like I don't know, I don't care, you don't have to think I'm cute. Like, my girlfriends will hype me up and I am, I joke, I'm everybody's auntie on Facebook because if you post a selfie I am going to tell you how great you look. And I just, I, it's part of, I think, it's one of the things I love most about myself and so it matters. Annie: I love it about you too. Jen: I know that you have to go, Beth, so here's what I hear. I hear radical self acceptance, really bad A-S-S gym habit. Working out, building the guns every morning and as a byproduct of and you started implementing nutrition habits, balanced nutrition habits make you feel good and as a byproduct you have seen some weight loss that you are, I don't know if pleased is the right word, how do you feel about the weight loss? Because I know you are a very, you are, you've, you strongly identify with the feminist movement, I know that about you and so sometimes in the feminist circles weight loss is a touchy subject, right, because as you know it's been used to abuse women for so many years, so how do you feel as a strong feminist who has changed their nutrition habits and is losing weight? Beth: You know, I'm pretty ambivalent about weight loss, if I'm being really honest. I, some of that is because of all the things you mentioned, right, like how our bodies look has been such a weapon against us over the centuries. And so some of it's that and some of it is I have, well, I didn't do a lot of dieting in my life, I did do a lot of binge and restrict, just traditional trying not to eat the bad thing- Jen: Just the traditional- Beth: Just the traditional, you know, thing that we all do, I don't eat anything and then I eat all the things. So I have lost tremendous amounts of weight and been congratulated by the world and then have the experience of gaining it back and feeling like there was something wrong with me for having gained it back so I am a little bit ambivalent about weight loss for that reason, like, just that I want to make sure that I don't put too much of my value in it. Jen: Right. Beth: But, like, so I actually shared that my mother's in town right now and I shared this story with her the other day and I thought it was really, it's one of the things I gained from Balance 365 that I'm the most thankful for. I was in my doctor's office the other day and I told him I was, like, "Look, you know, I'm doing all this stuff and like the weight, really, like it's just, it's a slow slog. I feel like it's not coming off. I'm doing the things I'm supposed to do and it's not coming off." And he told me, he said, "You know, you're an attorney who has 4 children. You live a very high stress life and it will be hard for you to lose weight, like it's going to be hard, like the stress is going to make it difficult," and he said, "So, you know, I wouldn't put a lot of weight on that. I wouldn't put a lot of your focus on trying to lose weight because it may not happen, you know" and it felt really, at first, really discouraging. But there were lots of times in my life where if I had heard that message from a doctor that I would have been like "Well, I'm calling it. It's ice cream sundaes for the rest of the week and I'm staying in bed and I'm not going to the gym" and instead, I mean, this was probably 2 months ago, I have only increased my gym consistency and focused more on my eating because it really turns out weight loss is not my aim doing this, ultimately. I've stopped linking the things that I do for my health to how fat I am. Like I've just stopped linking those two things. Jen: Good for you. The weight loss is just a byproduct, like, it really, you know, it's and that's what Balance365 is about and that's what a lot of women's journeys have to be is that weight loss is not a driver, it's not like, you know, where for a lot of women it was, right? It was like wake up in the morning, OK, what do I have to do to lose weight today, right? Instead of going, waking up in the morning, saying "Hey, how am I taking care of me today?" and the byproduct of that, you know, it is what it is and for some people that could be weight loss. Annie: And one of the kind of philosophies that we preach is that weight loss is not a behavior, it's not a habit, it's a byproduct or it can be a byproduct of our habits and that's not, that's, I mean, we're a habit based behavior change company, so we're focusing on behavior change that you're after, that's important to you, that matters to you, that works for you and if weight loss is a byproduct of that and you're comfortable with it, then we're comfortable with it. Beth: Yeah, and that was a big plus for me here because I've always been like "What's your goal?" "Well, my goal is to lose 50 pounds or my goal is to lose two pant sizes or my goal is to, you know, whatever" and it was like it was revolutionary for me for my goal to be "I'm just going to show up at the gym," like, I'm just going to show up and I may not have any strength gains and I may not lose any weight and I may not have any result, there may not be a result, I'm just, my goal is something that I can control which is shocking because most of us have been in programs for our whole lives where the goal was something that in reality we have very little control over, right? Jen: Right. Beth: You can do all the things right, you can exercise perfectly and you still may not lose weight and you have no control over it so your goal is something you're like, I may never gets to, that's the worst, who wants that kind of goal? Jen: Yeah, I mean, I think you if you know your body well, you know, you can influence your weight, you know, that there are certain behaviors that influence weight loss but having, I mean this is why we have to be very careful with setting goal weights is that what if you, what if you are living a life you feel very healthy and balanced and you're not at that goal weight? Like, what are you willing to do, right and so it's sometimes it's just disappointing to set them, right, like? Annie: Right, well and even in our experience after coaching thousands of women, you know, the goal weight that many women have for themselves is like so unrealistic. "Where did you get that number?" "Well, that's what I graduated high school at. That's what I got married at 30 years ago." Jen: And you dieted for 6 months before your wedding day and now- Annie: Yes and I think, you know, Jen and I talk about this all the time, you know, Jen and I similarly, we're within a year apart with 3 kids, same height but Jen and I have like a 50 pound difference between us and so for me to think that like, "I could be Jen's weight," or for Jen to think "Oh, I could be Annie's weight," like that's just absurd. Like it's just, like, not realistic on either end of the spectrum and so yeah, I think that's just something to consider when, if you're listening and you have a have a goal weight in mind or if that's, like, in your back pocket it's like maybe give that some thought- Jen: Maybe focused on your behaviors and as an act of self-love you can let your weight be what it's going to be while you are pursuing behaviors that feel really good and really healthy for you. Beth: Well and I don't, I guess, I didn't, I don't want to sound like, you know, like, I sound like a Debbie Downer, like, I feel ambivalent about weight loss and you might not lose anything and I should say I have lost 15 pounds since the beginning of September so it's not as if, I'm not trying to say, like, it's impossible to lose weight or you you can't lose fat. Absolutely, it's possible but it's just for me, it's been very freeing to have goals that have nothing to do with my weight, that are just goals that I have control over so I don't want to make it sound like "Eh, lose weight" Annie: Beth, I enjoy you so much. OK, real quickly and then we'll let you get on with your day because, you know, it's a nice Sunday afternoon before the holidays, perfect timing for a podcast. If someone was on the fence and they were listening about joining Balance365 what advice would you give them? Beth: I think there is never, I don't think there's anyone who couldn't benefit from the program. So I will start by saying, "I think you should do it." And alternatively, as a second thing, if you are in a position where, like, you're worried, like, financially I don't know if I can do it, or you know, if you have reasons that you are holding yourself back that are valid ones that for you, then I do think, my experience is that there is certainly benefit to being in the group before you're ready to make changes but it's OK to wait, it's OK to wait until you're ready. So if you feel like it's not right then maybe it's not right right now but there's no one who I wouldn't say "Yeah this is a program that you can benefit from." So, you know do it, you can hang with me in the slow start club. There's a lot of us, there are a lot of us in the slow start club and I think now, kind of my purpose, it's not another life's work but like my goal in the group is to kind of try and help those people who are still hanging back, wanting to start, not knowing how to. Jen: We have a lot of Balance365ers who are listening and so if you and some of them are like, they're holding back from just getting started, so what would your advice be because I saw you tell somebody the other day in the group, I'm not sure what the post was about but you said "Hey look, I waited two years, I think, you waited two years to get started and that was a big mistake." Beth: Yeah. Jen: So what would your advice be to move people out of that zone of like- Annie: Contemplation. Jen: I've started but not starting, I've purchased but I'm not starting. Beth: I think I would say, "OK, so I think, my personal opinion is that starting with the balancing one meal is the right way to go. Now, that was what was right for me, not everybody is going to start the same way and but I'm speaking to people that for whom balancing a meal would be a good way to start and here's what I would say to those people: you have to eat something for dinner tonight anyway. Jen: Right, you might as well balance it. Beth: You have to. It's not as if your stress means you don't eat dinner, in fact, most of us are here because our stress means extra dinner, so like, if you are in a red zone and Annie and I, when we tried to record this in the past and I was so sick, we talked a lot about how I have ambivalent feelings about the red zone as well, like it's not, I kind of feel like "Eh, if you don't want to do it, don't do it. For me, that's a big part of what I love about the community is there's not this sense of like "No excuses," like, there aren't really truly, there are no excuses, you just, you know, you either do it or you don't do it, because you want to or because you feel like you can or whatever, it's fine. If you don't do it, you don't do it. Nobody is watching. Jen: And no one's judging you. Beth: Like, I don't care. I don't care if eat a balanced dinner, like, you're cool. I have met so many wonderful women in the community and you know what, if they don't eat a balance dinner, I could give two, right? Jen: Well, some people don't take action because they feel like, especially in this sort of "wellness industry area" they they don't take action because first of all, taking action in the past has been this big thing, overhauling their life, it's not like, "Hey, just balance your dinner. It's just like this one thing." It's like this overhaul, right and number two is you feel like people are watching you and you're going to be judged and you're going to get this right or you're going to get it wrong and it's like, we're not here to judge you, we're not here, you can't pass or fail. This isn't a, you know, we're just working at change, all together. Beth: Yeah, I guess, so yeah, I guess my advice would be just pick a meal and balance it and it feels, I know it feels like there's 7000 things that are keeping you from doing it, I know it feels that way, because we all feel that way, we all feel like, like you said, it might be the judgment of past diets or it might be fear of failure or it might be actual things, right it might be a sick child or a marriage that's falling apart or it could be any number of things. I have interpersonal problems too. I have and that's not to say,"I have these problems and if I can do it you can do it." I mean, we're all going to live that way forever.I have yet to meet a mom who's like my day is just so smooth and I have nothing to do with my time except meal plan and make perfectly balanced dinners. Like, I've never met that woman. I've never met her. Jen: Yeah. Beth: I don't think she exists. I think she's fake and so you're going to make dinner tonight. You are going to. You're going to eat something so choose to eat something that is closer to what you think would help you achieve your goals. So, for me that meant just planning, I'm going to be honest, like I said, I go to Pudova, I buy chicken and I throw it on top of a bag salad, that is what I eat like 3 nights a week when my children are not home because it means I don't have to do anything. It's my favorite and I probably would eat it 7 days a week if my children were not home and I didn't have to feed them. Jen: Beth, do you feel better? Like, I mean, is there anything, like, can we attach some feelings to this? So because eating balanced meals isn't about, we're not guiding women into eating more balanced meals for weight loss, that's not our primary driver, do you feel better eating more balanced meal? Beth: So yes, one, like, digestive health is better, obviously, when you eat vegetables, friends, like that's just true. Jen: It's just yes. Beth: It's just a fact about your digestive tract and my digestive health is better when I eat vegetables. I personally have some gall bladder issues and when I'm balancing my fats I feel better in that sense and I think my sleep has improved since I've been implementing more balanced eating, probably some of that is because if I'm not going through the drive through I'm less likely to drink caffeinated beverages late in the day. Jen: Right. Annie: Right. Beth: So there's a number of things that I think are positive and some of it, I won't lie, some of it is that fat loss has been a byproduct has also made me more comfortable in my body in a number of ways and so I think there's lots of positives that have come from eating a balanced dinner. Jen: Yeah, I mean, I heard from one of our members as far as the fat loss, she said you know it's the little things like bending down to tie my shoes and not having, you know, all this fat in the way, it's like physical comfort that she quite enjoys about losing weight off her body and I think that's OK to talk about, right, like there's only so much we can control each of us individually and as long as we're talking inside the constructs of what you, what is possible and achievable for you I think that's, you know, totally OK. And the other reality is that in the culture we live in that is so, so guided by diet culture a lot of women, a lot of women the bodies they are in are a result of years, decades of dieting and sometimes implementing these habits and seeing fat loss is about taking back the body you were meant to have before you got into this binge and restrict cycle that the diet industry pushed you into, resulting in actually living in a larger body than what is healthy and just your, what your natural body is, right and I'm here for that, too, right, so we say about Balance365, we're not trying to help women live at a body weight that's leaner than what's healthy for them, we're trying to get you to reclaim the body you were meant to have. Annie: I love these conversations with Beth because it's, like, not just about, like, this exterior, like, this has a very deeply rooted, deeply seated meaning of exploring, like, your relationship with yourself, your relationship, how your relationship with the world affects your relationship with your family and your other relationships and like, how, it just changes how you show up in the world on so many levels and so I just always love Beth's perspective. Jen: Me too. Annie: Yeah, OK, Beth, I know you have places to go, would you mind sharing your Instagram handle? Beth: Sure, my instagram handle is bethiclaus, beth like my name, i, claus, like Santa Claus and you can follow me, I think it's set to public right now but I'll probably get a private but if you ask to follow me and you're a woman- Jen: She'll let you. Beth: I definitely will let you. If you're a man, who know, maybe not. Jen: We're going to link to your Instagram account in the show notes. Beth: Girlfriends only. And so yeah, I mean, yes, if you follow me and then you do an Instagram story, there's like a 90 percent chance if you put a selfie in there you'll get feedback from me. Jen: Praise emojis and heart eyes. Beth: Positive affirms only as I like to say. Annie: Yeah, it's, what a great, you know, it's like dropping a pebble into a pond and watching the ripple, like, expand out. It's wonderful. I think that's such a great way to spend your time. I can't, like how valuable is that, making other women feel good or just encouraging other women to feel good, so thank you both for joining, Jen, this was fun that you were able to join for a member spotlight. It was enjoyable. Jen: Yes. Annie: Even in your house coat. Jen: Yes and now we can all go and enjoy Christmas. Annie: I know, I know but it's going to be way past Christmas by the time this comes out so- Beth: Merry Christmas, y'all. Annie: Merry belated Christmas. Alright, thank you ladies, we'll talk soon. Beth: Bye. Jen: Bye.
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| 02 Jun 2021 | Episode 170: What If I Have A Lot Of Weight To Lose? | 00:17:32 | |
Episode Overview As a woman who’s lost a substantial amount of weight, Annie has some insider tips for those who find themselves discouraged by the amount of weight they want to lose. In this bite-sized podcast, Annie shares some of the experiences she had while on her weight loss journey. In true Balance365 fashion, Annie gets real about the good, the bad, and the feelings she never anticipated having. Join her as she discusses what you can expect before, during, and after your weight loss journey. And if you haven’t grabbed our free guide, Binge Eating: Why You Do It & How to Stop, you can do so here. Download your copy today and start learning how to manage your binge eating behaviors. Key Points
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| 27 Sep 2023 | Episode 291: 6 Mindset Shifts That Make Nutritious Eating Easier | 00:49:53 | |
Episode OverviewNutritious eating requires effort. But so often the way people think about nutritious eating is exactly what’s standing in their way of them following through with their commitment to do it. In today’s episode, Annie and Jen discuss the link between a person’s mindset and their ability to consistently eat more nutritiously. Get ready to explore the power of transforming your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs about healthy eating. Before you hit play, make sure to register for our free, on-demand workshop, Cut the Crap: How to Simplify Weight Loss and Get Out of Your Own Way! This workshop has changed how thousands of women around the world approach health, wellness, and weight loss. Register here to get started. Key Points
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TranscriptDownload a copy of this episode’s transcript here. | |||
| 20 Sep 2023 | Episode 290: Member Spotlight - How a Strong Commitment to the Process Helped Michelle Lose 40lbs | 00:42:05 | |
Episode Overview“Why can I write a thesis and graduate with a Master's degree, but I can’t pass on chocolate?” Meet Michelle Onaka, a thriving financial coach from Oregon, who couldn’t understand how she could accomplish so much, yet still feel powerless against chocolate. Many women are asking themselves the same question every day. In this episode, Michelle shares her journey of overcoming overeating, learning the 'why' behind her nutrition habits, and developing the ability to listen to her body's needs. She goes into detail about her process and emphasizes the benefits of working through her resistance to change with a Balance365 coach. She’s lost 40lbs, too! If you’re ready to break through your barriers to change like Michelle did, you’re in luck. Balance365 opens just three times per year and right now is one of those times. Join now before enrollment ends on Friday! Key Points
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| 20 May 2020 | Episode 118: Member Spotlight: What Food Freedom Feels Like With Melissa Atchison | 00:36:21 | |
At Balance365 we know change can feel hard. But we also know the hard stuff is what’s worth doing. On this week’s episode, Balance365 member Melissa Atchison shares how she was able to leave the dieting mindset behind and finally come to a place of balance after years of being entrenched in diet culture. Melissa speaks to how her own habits are changing the way her children treat themselves and their bodies, and what food freedom really looks like. Come be social with us! Balance365 Facebook: Weight Loss Without Restriction Balance365 Instagram: @balance365life | |||
| 05 Jun 2019 | Episode 69: The Benefits Of Unsupervised Outdoor Play | 01:06:11 | |
Could you be supervising your kids too much? Safety is important, but that doesn’t have to translate watching your child’s every move. Annie, Lauren and Jen are joined by parenting expert Allana Robinson to discuss outdoor unsupervised play, fostering independence and life skills and finding more balance as a parent.
What you’ll hear in this episode:
Resources: Uncommon Sense Parenting Facebook Page The Gift of Imperfect Parenting Your Kids Need to Play Outside Without You podcast episode (Allana Robinson) Marian Diamond Rat Enrichment Study Learn more about Balance365 Life here Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Play, or Android so you never miss a new episode! Visit us on Facebook| Follow us on Instagram| Check us out on Pinterest Join our free Facebook group with over 40k women just like you! Did you enjoy the podcast? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Google Play! It helps us get in front of new listeners so we can keep making great content. TranscriptAnnie: Welcome to Balance 365 life radio, a podcast that delivers honest conversations about food, fitness, weight and wellness. I'm your host Annie Brees along with Jennifer Campbell and Lauren Koski. We are personal trainers, nutritionists and founders of Balance365. Together we coach thousands of women each day and are on a mission to help them feel healthy, happy, and confident in their bodies on their own terms. Join us here every week as we discuss hot topics pertaining to our physical, mental and emotional wellbeing with amazing guests. Enjoy. We live in a culture where parents are expected to be with or entertain their kids all the time, but we also have other responsibilities inside the house that need taking care of too, and as a result, our kiddos' outdoor playtime often gets cut short, but today's guest has solutions. She understands the importance of outdoor play for kids and wait for it, she encourages unsupervised outdoor time. Yeah, you heard me right. Alanna Robinson is an early childhood educator and parenting coach for parents of toddlers and preschoolers. She helps parents understand why their children are misbehaving and what to do about it without yelling, shaming, or using timeouts. On today's episode, Alanna, Jen, Lauren and I discuss why your kids need to play outside without you and how to begin implementing that today so your kids can play outside and you can tackle your to do list inside or you can always just relax too. But before we dive in, it's important to note that we have a diverse audience, and even though we don't have immediate solutions for everyone, we want to acknowledge that inequalities do exist and people with different socioeconomic and racial backgrounds may have a different experience with outdoor play. But as always, we don't want anyone to feel left out of this conversation. And if you want to discuss any of these topics further, we invite you to join our free private Facebook group. Healthy Habits Happy Moms. Enjoy. Lauren and Jen, welcome to the show. We have a special guest. Lauren, are you so excited? Lauren: I am so pumped. I'm so excited to learn all the things. Annie: I know. Jen, I know you're excited cause this was a guest you found and you brought and you were like, "She needs to be on the show." Jen: Yeah, I'm part of Allana's, I'm in her parenting posse Facebook group. Actually, Allana, I found out about your Facebook group in our Facebook group. Allana: Oh yeah? Jen: You were, or did someone just recommend your Facebook group to me in our Facebook group to me in our Facebook group. So group to group. So I joined yours and you have said some things that have been so profound and have changed the way I parent and discipline, which is amazing. Allana: That makes me so happy. Jen: And even though you specialize in one to six year olds, I have, well, I've been in your group for quite a while, but my boys are transitioning out of those ages. So I have a five, seven and nine year old. I find your advice still works for my seven and nine year old. And so you just scale it to their level and yeah, it works. It's amazing. And it's taken so much stress out of parenting, right? Especially with discipline because you're always like, "Is this enough? Did he learn his lesson?" Annie: So in other words, welcome to the show, Allana. How are you? Allana: Thank you so much for having me. I'm great. Annie: Good. Allana: Making me so extremely happy because you never know if what you're putting out into the world is actually landing with people and it's just, it makes me so happy to hear when it does. Jen: I don't, I just read along. So I would say I'm a lurker in your group. I've posted once, but I read. And so it's actually a good reminder for me that in even our Facebook group, I'm sure there's tons of lurkers, so nothing you say is ever really wasted. And so I read whatever you write. So whatever you're doing in that group, I'm a step behind. Annie: And then she comes to me and she's like, "Hey, you need to check her out." And then I went to your website and listen to one of your podcasts. And it was about why your kids need to play outside without you. And I was like, "Freedom!" It was amazing. Jen: That was a huge moment for me and you're so open about your own parenting practices and you're not just telling people, "Hey, here's what to do." You're like, "Here's what what you should do. And I'm doing it. And this is what happens in our day to day life." And can I say the comment that blew my mind? It was just from a couple of weeks ago. Can I say that? Am I allowed? You told everybody, someone asked when they can let their toddler play in their backyard unattended. And then all these women were giving advice, right. And it was this huge thing and all of a sudden you swooped in and you said your youngest or you start them out one and a half years old playing independently outside by themselves at one and a half. And your son has been walking down the street to the park from four years old. Allana: Yup. Jen: On his own. And I was like, "Wow." And you said the world is safer today than it's ever been. There's this perception that it's more dangerous and we actually have more things in place to keep our kids safe even though it's safer. But that's killing us as parents. And actually what it's leading to is a lot more indoor time and screen time for kids because it's actually not realistic or sustainable to expect parents to be playing or even supervising their kids 24 seven and so kids aren't even getting the minimum amount of movement that they should be just because it's actually become impossible for families to provide that. Allana: It's an impossible standard. There's also a study that was done not that long ago about the difference in the amount of time working mothers today spend with their children versus stay at home mothers that spent with their children in the 1950s. Working mothers today spend more time on average with their children than stay at home mothers did in the 1950s so this concept that we have to constantly be in their face, we have to constantly be engaged with them. We have to constantly be enriching them. Jen: Right. Allana: Putting this impossible, impossible load on us. And you know where that came from? It came from another study. There was a woman named Marian Diamond who was in the 1960s, she was doing research on rats and how big their brains got when they played versus rats who weren't given the opportunity to play. Allana: And she was a woman scientist in the 1960s and she was playing with rats. So she got ridiculed socially by her male colleagues for being the girl who plays with rats. And in order to try and make her study, her papers more serious, have a bit more aplomb, she removed the word play and she changed it to enrichment. And nobody knows this woman. Nobody has ever heard of these studies before, but they have just trickled through our societal psyche to the point where we believe that we always have to be engaged with our kids or they're going to be stupid. And what that study should have said is the more time the children play, the smarter they get, the bigger their brains get. And that tiny little change in the way that we communicated that idea has had such a prolific impact on North American society. And now we're at the point where it's breaking us to meet those expectations. And we're so terrified that if we don't, that our kids are going to be stupid. And it's, yeah. So this fear that everybody has, and it's a deep seated subconscious fear that we have to be with them all the time or they're going to be taken or stupid. And it's just, it's not sustainable. You can't do it. Jen: Can I just, I'll just add another fear. That they're going to get hurt and someone's going to call child and family services on me and my kids are gonna get taken away because I wasn't there when they fell off their bike, broke an arm. Like, you know, it's just, I'm afraid of what my neighbours are gonna think of me. Not so much anymore because my kids are a bit older. But when my kids were younger, it was, we lived near a park, I wouldn't dare have sent, you know, in my head I'm like, "I'm sure they'll be fine." My Dad used to do some very questionable, like, I mean over the line questionable things. So you know I'd always have my dad be like telling me "It's fine!" Just, but you know, you, you actually worry about your neighbors. And actually I've been on social media for several years now and shared a lot of our family during that time. I think I started after my third was born and I have had many people message me and threatened they're going to call family services on me, like awful telling me I'm an awful mother. Like, if I'm trying to share like our mom life moments, you know, like, there's accidents- Allana: That hasn't happened to me yet quite frankly, because as you said, I'm very open about what I allow my kids to do. And there's more studies. There was this study that was done in 2016 about, it's actually called No Child Left Alone. And it was a study that was done by a small group of researchers and they basically asked a large, large group of people, they gave them scenarios in which a child was left alone and every single scenario was exactly the same except for the reason why the child was left alone. So they varied the reason, like, you know, mom went to go see her lover versus, you know, mom had an emergency at work and couldn't find a babysitter. And what they found was that people assessed a higher risk to the child based on what they morally felt the reason was for leaving the child, even though all the factors were exactly the same. And so what that means is that people don't just think things are dangerous and therefore, and moral, they think things are immoral and therefore dangerous. So, and when I say to people like "I let my five year old walk to the park," they're like, "Aren't you afraid CPS is going to get called on you? Aren't you afraid that somebody?" And I'm not because I know my neighbors. And that is how we combat that, because it's a lot easier to judge somebody on their morality when you don't know them, when you can't put a face to them, when you've never spoken to them. So, and it's awkward, super awkward. But when we moved here when my son was a year and a half old. And so he was just starting outdoor play and he was, he's tiny for his age, like he looks much younger than he is. And so I actually took his hand and we went around and we walked up and down our street and we knocked on everybody's door and we introduced ourselves. And I said, you know, "My name's Allana. This is my son Logan. You might see Logan around, he likes to play outside by himself. I'm okay with that." And people were kind of like, "Okay." And it was, it was awkward as hell. And you know, we have a bit more in depth conversations with our immediate neighbours who can actually see into our yard. But so no, nobody ever, I gave my phone number to everybody and said, "Hey, if you ever see him doing something questionable that you're not sure it's safe or appropriate, please send me a text message. Like I am always, I will deal with it." And what that people call CAS because they see a child doing something that they're not sure is totally on the up and up and they don't have a touch point. They don't have anybody to go to other than the police. So if you go to your neighbors and you say, "Hey, this is who I am, this is my child, this is my phone number, please call me if you know you ever need anything," it removes that ability to have such a quick moral judgment on you because they seen your face. They've spoken to you, they've had a conversation with you and that I think because we don't know our neighbors, in this day and age we move around a lot more. We live in much larger communities. Houses are much closer together. We don't, we don't know our neighbors the way that our parents did or grandparents did. So it takes a conscious effort on our part if we're going to be sending our kids out into the world by themselves that we know we've scoped out the world for them, right? Jen: Yeah. Go ahead, Allana. Allana: Oh, I was just going to say it like, he has, he's walked to the park before and I've had neighbors text me and be like, "Hey, so your kids at the park by himself?" And I'm like, "Yup." And they're like, "Oh, you're okay with that?" "Yup. Thanks for letting me know though." And they're like, "Okay, great." And that was the end of it. And they know him, he knows his boundaries, like, and there's a certain amount of teaching to this. You don't just send your kid out the door and be like, "Off you go." There's a lot of very conscious teaching that has to happen in, right. Annie: Allana, I would love to get into, like, how do you actually implement it in a little bit? Because I know like you can't just take a kid that, like, hasn't had any unsupervised play and be like, "Okay, see ya. Have fun." But I want to back up because you have quite a bit of information about, like, the benefits. Like why does this matter to the kids and why does this matter to parents? Allana: Well, because the outdoors is basically, like, nature's occupational therapy, right? Like the rate of children in occupational therapy has soared since the 1990s and it's because the kids aren't getting outside. When you go outside, first of all, the environment is perfectly sensorially balanced. It's made for us. It's not too loud. It's not too quiet. Depending on where you live is not too hot or too cold. But you can adjust it, you know, generally it's not too bright. There's, you know, very subtle sounds that help you orient yourself in space. Like just the sounds of birds tweeting and leaves rustling helps your brain figure out where you are in space. It has, there's so many sensory experiences, mud, grass, air, everything is a sensory. The heat from the sun even is a sensory experience that helps your brain integrate the input that it gets both indoors and out. It's not controlled and there's things that you have to adapt for which you wouldn't have to adapt for inside because everything is so controlled inside. So our kids aren't getting that stimulus that hopefully we got that our parents definitely got outdoors and the result is that there's a lot of kids in schools right now who have vestibular problems and it's affecting their ability to read. It's affecting their ability to sit down and concentrate. Spinning, spinning has been shown, if you spin for five minutes, it's been shown to increase your attention span for two hours. They've removed every single merry go round. Every single spinning toy. Kids aren't allowed to spin on swings anymore because it's "dangerous." They've shortened the height of swing sets. If you look at pictures of swing sets from like the 1960s, the set itself is super, super tall and the chains are super, super long, which means they got a lot larger range of motion. When everything got scaled down and we got super safety conscious. We literally scaled down the swing sets. The chains are much shorter. They're not getting as large a range of motion. They're not getting as much stimulation. So it's vital not just to, you know, their ability to entertain themselves. It's vital to their long term learning. If you don't have a body that can integrate all the information that you're getting, then it's going to crop up down the road in lots of different ways. Jen: Wow. You know what? We moved from Vancouver, a huge city in Canada to a very small city, in the interior British Columbia, 90,000 people. And then within that community we live in like this tiny little suburb that backs on to, like a provincial park. So just hiking trails and stuff. My children's life has changed. Being so close to nature and having other children on the block, like our doorbell is ringing constantly. These kids are outside all the time, way more than when we lived in Vancouver. When we were in Vancouver I felt like I had to facilitate everything because you're in this big city you like, it's just, yeah, it was, there was just, it was very, and it was very stressful and I don't even think I realized how stressed I was until I wasn't living there anymore. And I have so much more freedom. I, you know, we even live close enough to the school that, like, boys can walk to school and walk home. And then just my free time has gone way up. Like as far as, and the load of parenting has gone way down for me living in this neighborhood and in this smaller city and I just can't believe how the quality of our life has improved. It's crazy. Allana: Totally. And like I have a lot of parents were like, "Listen, I don't have an outdoor space for my kids. Like we live in an apartment building and I can't let them go downstairs and play in even in the public green space by themselves because there's, you know, 60 back balconies that face onto it and somebody is going to take issue with it" and I always say "Some is better than none." Jen: Yes. Allana: Taking your kids to a park and take them to a park where there's no equipment. Right. Don't take them to a park where there's all these plastic climbers and stuff. Take them to a park where there's no equipment, provincial park, national park somewhere that it's more of a natural space and let them play there rather than let them climb the trees, let them walk on the logs, let them go, you know, dig in the ravines and the ditches. That's much more high quality play than the kind of contrived play that happens on swing sets and stuff like that. Jen: Yeah, they, when my kids were young, we lived in New Zealand and they are extremely progressive as far as play there. And this is kind of when all this started coming to me, because I had never heard this kind of talk in Canada and they talked a lot about the benefits of decreasing supervision and increasing risk on playgrounds because for example, our school, our playground no longer meets safety codes anymore. And so our school is paying $100,000 this spring that we all had to fundraise for to put in a new, new safe playground. And I'm kind of sitting back while everyone's very excited, great, but I'm sitting back going like, this is a hundred grand on a new safe structure that- Allana: Is going to do them a disservice. Jen: Right? And so - Allana: Yeah, I know the feeling. My son's play, my son's school, he's in junior kindergarten here in Ontario and they don't even have a playground. They don't have any, like they have a fenced in yard and there's a play structure for the kids who are in grade four and up. But anybody under that isn't allowed to use it. And we're moving schools next year. And his first question was, is there going to be something that I can climb on Jen: Right. Allana: Yeah, dude, that's like one of my top priorities. Jen: Yeah. I see just as many kids in the field next to the school. It's all fenced and stuff than I do on the playgrounds. Right. So it's and then tell me this, I don't know if this evidence based or not, but I often wonder what happens on playgrounds when the kids are bored and there's no risk anymore. Like do they turn? Like is that why they're turning on each other at recess? Allana: When there's nothing to do, you're going to create something to do. And so the nice thing like, and people will often say to me like, "How do your kids play outside for hours on end? There's nothing in your backyard." And there isn't. We literally have a yard and a shed and, but there are things in my backyard. We have lots of loose parts. We have, when my husband built that shed, he took all the off cuts and just kind of sanded down the edges generally so that he wasn't getting any splinters. And so there's, there's a ton of lumber back there. There is sticks, there's mud, there's a sand pit, we have a water table that kind of turns into a pond during the summer because nobody cleans it out. It gets very disgusting but so they have all that stuff out there and they'll take like, you know, an action figure or a car or something, one little thing and they'll build this whole playscape off of it just because toys are built with a very specific purpose in mind and kids know that they're supposed to use them that way, right? You're supposed to use a tool the way the tool is supposed to be used. We're very, very clear about that with young children. So when you give them a toy and it's only able to be used one way, they're going to get bored with it really, really quickly. And then when there's nothing to do, they're going to start disturbing. Jen: Bleeping the child psychologist. Allana: I always have an explicit warning on my own podcast because when I get passionate I run my mouth. But yeah. So, but if you don't give them those things that are closed ended to begin with, if you give them open ended stuff and you expect them to create their own world, they'll do it and it will be so immersive for them that they won't have time to make, you know, trouble. They're going to be so engaged in it.
And that's the other thing is toys generally can only be used by one or two people versus open ended materials. "Okay, you want to come play with me? Great. Go grab a stick. Right?" So that's, it's a lot easier for children to join play when there isn't set materials for them to use, when everything's very open ended because they can modify what they're doing to include more people very easily.
And to come back to kind of what you were saying about the play structure, that's another problem, right? There's usually limits on how many kids can be on the play structure, especially in school environments where they're like, you know, there can only be five kids on the play structure at a time that just hamstrings them. It cuts them off at the knees and when there's children, you know, want to come in, they can't. So keeping things and it's just really, the science across the board just says "Back off! Back off and they'll figure it out. That's what their brains are designed to do." Jen: Right. And that's really what builds a resilient person. Right? They can figure it out in a moment. Right. The other thing that had been talked about in New Zealand I remember is as playgrounds were becoming more safe, they were not just less risky as in, "Ooh, am I going to fall? Or it was also, they were less physically risky in that it didn't require as much strength to go over these different spots in the park. So the upper body strength in children is coming down big time because they are taking out monkey bars. They're taking, you know, they're taking out all these upper body things." Allana: Exactly. Because you've got children in occupational therapy to build that up because they're not naturally getting it, they're not weight bearing. I have so many clients who their child is in kindergarten and first of all they're asking these kindergarten kids to read and write when that's not developmentally appropriate, but they also can't physically do it because they don't have the strength in their muscles to do it. Like fine motor skills starting in your shoulder and they work their way down. Jen: Right. Right. Allana: If you don't use your gross motor skills. You can't use your fine motor skills when you need to. So yeah. And the other thing about reducing risk is that they're reducing small injuries, but the injuries that do happen are much larger. Children are breaking bones more frequently. They're, you know, having huge concussions when they do, because their vestibular system is so underdeveloped, they don't know the limits of their body. And so when they go to try and do something new, they can't tell if they can actually do it or not. Jen: Right. Because they've had no lower level risk that warns them Allana: They weren't able to build up to it. Jen: Amen. Yeah. Allana: We've reduced, you know, cuts, scrapes, minor stitches and we've turned that into breaks and concussions and it's, ask any occupational therapist and they'll tell you that a lot of these things are very easily solved just by sending them outside to play. Jen: Right. That's so interesting to just reframing it, right? These things are good. Like this is good for your kids to make these mistakes, have these small falls. None of them are life threatening, but they're teaching them about their environment and saving them from future. An analogy to that, actually, I posted a insta story a year ago with my oldest son on a little mini quad at his grandparents' farm and he was doing donuts and it was all dusty and I got so many from women that were like, "I would never let my child do that." And he had an accident that summer. He bumped into the side of his uncle's truck and he flew and hit his chest on the handlebars and it really hurt him and it really scared him. I mean, he's wearing a helmet and we've got that safety stuff. And I was like, "Good." I could see the donuts were getting a little out of control. I could see that kid needed some kind of little bump to remind him that he is on a machine and it happened and it was good. And he is much more safe now. And I guess, I guess what, and also my dad's a farmer, so I grew up in, you know, "dangerous" environment of, like, just roaming around a farm and yeah. And it's like, I see now how good that is, but you know, and I moved to the city and I think of all these city kids getting licenses at 16 and like, you know, we're a little, when you grew up on a farm, you're just driving, you drive, right? Like you drive when your dad's lap or you, you're helping, you know, you're way too young. You're 12 years old and you're helping move trucks from one field to another. And then I think of all these city kids getting their licenses and it's like that's crazy that they have no driving experience. And you know what I mean? So it's like- Allana: I was reading something the other day about how it's taking longer. Like when I turned 16 almost all my friends got their license on the first try. And apparently there's some statistics now coming out that it's taking teenagers longer to learn to drive because they're having to develop vestibular and proprioceptive skills that they didn't as a child. And so they're not able to judge where their car is in space. Jen: Oh gosh, that's so interesting. Allana: So yeah, it's, this isn't just about mom getting some breathing time of being able to clean the kitchen without anybody crawling up their back and about the kids being able to entertain themselves. These skills that they develop, that looks like they're doing absolutely nothing are so important. And they will follow them for the rest of their lives. And it's just, it frustrates me so much. Jen: Lauren had a question, I think. Allana: Oh yeah, Lauren, did you have something? Lauren: Yes. Can I, can I? Hello? Annie: Hi. Welcome to the show. Lauren: Hi, I'm over here. I'm trying to get a word in next to Jen. Annie: Good luck. Jen: Classic little little sister moment. Lauren: So I love all of this. Can I ask some practical questions selfishly that hopefully will benefit all of our listeners? I have a five year old and a one year old and I'm wondering like, okay, my one and a half year old obviously is probably going to have different boundaries than a five year old, but the five year old, I mean, I let her play outside sometimes, but I'm usually watching her through like the window and whatever. Like so what are, how do I introduce this concept to both of them in age appropriate ways? Allana: So the five year old, as you said, it's going to have a much longer leash than the one and a half year old. If you have fenced space, it's, that's easiest because it's easiest for us to back off. But generally what I do with little kids is I start by being outside with them but not being engaged with them. So like blowing snow in the driveway. They can't participate in that, but they can be outside while we're doing it, weeding the garden, they might join in but they're going to get bored and they're going to go do something else. Doing things that need to be done anyways, but, and that we're around, but we're not focused on them. We're focused on something else. So that's like step one is generally just getting them used to the idea that you're not going to be watching them all the time. And then step two of that is starting that way and then being like, okay, I'm going to go in and go to the bathroom. I'm going to go in and make dinner. And just gradually lengthening the amount of time that you go in at the end of your play time so that they're not going from "I'm inside and supervised, to I'm outside and not supervised." There's a buildup to that and it's amazing how, like, children are very intuitive. So if we have concerns, if we're scared of them doing something, they're going to pick up on that very quickly. Their limbic system is very connected to ours and our inter brain is going to go, "You're not safe!" And so they're not going to feel safe. So it's a workup for us too, right? We need to feel confident and comfortable leaving our kids alone. So those are steps one and two generally for me is just being outside, not engaged with them but being outside with them. And then at the end of that starting to introduce, I can go inside and you don't have to come with me. And once you kind of work up to a good chunk of time, then you can start sending them out by themselves and lengthening that amount of time so that you're like, "Okay, well, you go out and I'll meet you there. Like I'm just going to go and put this in the oven and then I'll be outside." And starting to get them used to going outside without you following behind them. And then you can go out again, do something else, not be engaged with them, but be around and then go back inside. So you're kind of working it from either end rather than just sending them out on their own. And that's generally a nice good workup for kids. They don't feel scared because they know you're coming, you know that you're not having to like peek through the window to keep an eye on them either because they can sense that too. Windows don't block limbic resonance. Lauren: Do you have tips if your yard is not fenced in, like, do you give them ahead of time, like, boundaries? Allana: Absolutely. So my favorite tool for this is go to Home Depot or Lowe's and grab some of that neon paint that they mark gas lines with when you call and be like, "Hey, I'm going to dig in my yard." And then somebody comes by and like Mark's all your gas lines so you don't hit a gas line when you dig. Go and get that and spray your property line. And I do that every spring with my two, because I have a two and a half year old. And so last year he was a year and a half and he wants to play in the front yard with his big brother, but there's no barrier in the front. So he was getting really angry because my big can let himself in and out of the backyard and the little one can't and he'd be so mad when my big one would leave him in the backyard. So I did. I went and I got the orange paint and I sprayed, just a line right down our ditch and down either side of our front yard. It doesn't look great, but when you mow the grass goes away and he, and I was like, "Listen, you cannot cross the orange line without mummy or daddy." And we walked the orange line and I showed him, "Yes, no, you cannot go on this other side." And it did. We had to work up to it Again, starting with me being outside with them and keeping an eye on them, but not engaged with them, reminding him that he can't cross that line and just very gradually backing away from him and letting him have more ownership over that. Now we can go just about anywhere. Like we have a cottage with a waterfront that we go to in the summer and now I can like walk up and like spray that line along the waterfront and I'm like, you can't cross the dark line- Jen: Take it to your hotel. Annie: The restaurant. Jen: The restaurant play here, don't worry, you can mow it out. Allana: I've done it with orange electric. Try and pick a color and stick to it because kids tend to get that, like, color association. But I've done it with orange electrical tape, like, we were at, actually just this last week, my big one was hospitalized and we were in this waiting room, like, it was like an examination room with the door didn't close. It was kind of like just a triage kind of space. And my little one was kept trying to escape and I busted out my roll of orange electrical tape and put on a hard line on the doorway and I was like, you can't cross the orange line. And he was like, "Okay." Jen: That's so awesome. Annie: it is. Allana: At this point that he's like, "No, we don't cross orange lines," causes problems when they're like, "Here you can go!" Like where were we? We were at Wonderland or something like that last summer and there was, like, a line on the ground to mark where you can't cross to go before you go on a ride. And they were like "Come!" and he was like, "Uh uh, we don't cross orange lines." Annie: So I have a feisty two and a half year old and I'm picturing this like it, like I'm, this is not that I don't believe you, but I mean- Allana: It's not an overnight thing. Annie: Yeah. I'm picturing me, like, getting out, like, rope or a spray can and like her just laughing in my face like, "Yeah, okay, mom. Right." Allana: Right. Well and they do. But that's the thing where you have to very consistently redirect them back to the other side. And- Annie: What have you used as appropriate consequences? Like do you say, like, "Sorry, we can't play outside then if you-" Allana: Yeah, well if you can't, so I often say like "If I can't trust you to stay on this side of the orange line, then we're going to have to go inside. Or if I can't trust you to go stay on this side of the orange line, we're going to have to go in the backyard that's fenced" and, or "if I can't trust you to be playing up" like often when I was starting to do this with him, I would be washing my car because my husband's a car nut and so it makes him very happy when I wash my car frequently. So I was like, all right, this makes him happy. This makes me happy. We're going to wash the car while the kids play in the front yard. And like, I mean it's nice when you have an older child who gets to be the tattle tale, but it was like, "Mom, Owie's going into the road" and I would bring him back. "If you can't stay on this side of the orange line, then you're going to have to come and sit in the car." And he was like, "Uh un." And I was like, "Yeah." And it doesn't take very many times of, like, "Hey," as long as you tell them what is going to happen before it happens. Like you can't spring it on them and be like, "Nope, if can't stay on this side of the orange line I'm going to strap you into your car seat." And then they're like, "Well, I didn't know that was what was on the line." Jen: That's actually, this is another huge takeaway I've gotten from your group is the whole concept of natural consequences, like, life changing. We could do a whole other podcast on it and I'm sure people can find more about it on your podcast. But I, it's just like brought my chill level into a normal range around my kids. And, you know, even, it was in your group, it was something about, it was just like this, right? So it's like you lay out the boundary, you tell them what the consequence is and it's a natural consequence. So it's so it's not like disciplining anymore, right? Allana: Exactly. Annie: It's about getting them to connect to the consequences of their actions. Allana: and kids can tell when we're pulling a power trip, right? Timeouts all that stuff. They know when we're like, "No, I'm just doing this because I can." And so, like, things with, "Okay, if you can't stay on this side of the orange line," the best logical consequence for that would be, "Okay, well then you need to go into the gated area." Like that's, he doesn't want that because he knows his big brother's not in the gated area. He knows that, you know, he wants to be in the front with us. And so that creates a consciousness in him that he's like, "Okay, I need to think critically about this. I'm not going to," and they will test. Kids are scientists. They use the scientific method with much more accuracy than any adult. And they will have a theory and they will test every variable possible, which is why I say, like, try and keep the color consistent because like my son, we were at my mom's once and she didn't have any orange paint, so I busted out some pink. Pink apparently doesn't have the same staying power. It is not an orange line. Jen: Oh my kids would do that. Allana: Because right. Anytime you introduce a variable, they have to test it. They have to, they're so inquisitive. They are scientific little minds. So, and that's where you have extinction bursts where they're like, "Okay, this was the limit before and now it's, there's a new limit. How hard do I have to push until we go back to the old limit?" So staying consistent really is the key to the whole but yeah, keeping, I've lost my train of thought now. Jen: You're amazing. Like you, it's like you're in a child's brain and the way you explain things is so fantastic. I can't wait to send everybody to your podcast and you just, and then suddenly my anxiety in parenting is just gone when I listen to you because I know I'm doing the right thing and it will work out. Right. You sometimes feel like you're just trying whatever, just try it, see what works. But I just have this, like, reassurance from you that it's just consistency. Allana: it's so much easier to let go when you know what's going on under the hood and you know how their brains work. And that's, like, my whole philosophy is if you can understand how your child's brain works, then you can work with it instead of against it. And so many of the conventional parenting wisdom is working against their brain. Annie: Right? Right. Jen: Yeah. Allana: Dominant. It's trying to exert dominance. Jen: Then you get struggles and they feel, yeah, it's- Allana: They feel controlled and nobody likes to feel controlled. You push back and they feel like they're being manipulated and treated like subhuman. So when we just treat our kids like we would not how we would treat an adult, but when we are give them that kind of respect, it's amazing how quickly they come onside. It really is. Annie: And I think from like a parenting perspective, hearing you as an expert in this field, pun intended, it's almost permission giving to say like, "It's fine. Go inside, go to the bathroom, put a frozen pizza in the oven. I mean that's what I would do. Like make a phone call, whatever. There'll be okay. And they need it. It's not just for you." It's, like, it just helps me like do this guilt-free. Allana: Totally. And like I've had clients with 11 year olds who will still make their 11 year old come in from the backyard when they need to go pee. Like when you go to the bathroom. Jen: Like that thread in the group before you came in and laid it down with everybody. I was like, "Who are these people?" Like how long are you gonna be like basically- Allana: And the funny thing. It's like my babysitter, my main babysitter is 11 years old. And when I tell people that they're like, "What?" They're like, "But you don't her alone with them." And I'm like, "Oh yes I do. She can." My 11 year old babysitter can feed my children dinner, bath them and get them in bed and an hour and a half flat. I can't do that. Jen: That's the other thing is that eventually we're working up or my son turns 10 this summer and we've kind of given him the, when you are 10 we will start leaving you a home alone. Like if I'm popping out for groceries or whatever. And it's this thing he's looking forward to and that's kind of the law here. Just so everybody knows. I know the law's different in different areas. But that is, we are law abiding citizens anyways. And so if you can't leave your child, like it has to start happening at some point, right? On a gradual basis. You can't be micromanaging your kid. And then he turns 10 or 11 or 12 and then you go, "Okay, we're leaving you alone." Allana: We don't give children any ability to experience minor risk and then they turn 18 and we're like, "Go out and innovate." Jen: Yeah. Go live alone. Annie: This sounds like- Allana: And they're like, "I've never done this in my entire life. You can't start with, like, throwing them out the door. Jen: And then they struggle. Right. And mental health issues in freshmen university students are just skyrocketing. Allana: Of course, living with their parents for longer and longer because they just don't have- Jen: They're not self sufficient. Allana: Yeah, you don't know how to cope without somebody micromanaging you and telling you what to do all the time. And then when people are like, "Make good decisions," you're like, "I don't know what that means." Because you have no. Jen: Yeah. Allana: Litmus test for it. So it's, it really is, you know, when people say early childhood is so important, it is the foundation for your child's entire life. And if you can't start trusting them when they're four with little tiny responsibilities, how are you going to trust them when they're 16, 17- Jen: Right. Yeah. The other thing I learned from you Allana that I wanted to say was about this bored thing. Cause I think that's the next thing, right? So, okay, your kids are playing alone, but they come back and they're like, "I am bored." I learned this from you in your group. You said it is not your job to entertain your child. And I, so that's just what I say to them. Now they come to me and say they're bored. I'm saying "That's not my job to find something for you to do. Like you, go find something to do." Allana: You are not a clown. You are not the family cruise director. Jen: Right. Sometimes I'll say, "Here's your options. You know, you can get out the coloring stuff. You can go out and jump on the trampoline" or I'll give some options to "Go get your bikes, go down to your friend's house, see if he wants to play." But I tell them all the time that "I am not here to entertain you. That is not my job." And that's been such a revolutionary thing for me too, because I, you know, you feel the pressure around that. Allana: Well, exactly. And that comes again to that pressure of they need to be enriched 24 seven if we want them to be smart. And that the only person that's available to enrich them is me so I have to be constantly engaged with my child and it's just not true. In fact, it's damaging. Jen: Right, right. Lauren: So I have my one and a half year old, like, he'll go play by himself, like, no big deal. But my five year old has always been, she wants to play with somebody. Do you have any tips for like training that'd be like you can, like, she'll go play for a little bit but it's, it's just she's completely different than my one and a half year old and she seems to only want to play with me. Jen: Or what about an only child? Like people that have one child? Allana: Only children I find are actually the best at entertaining themselves because they have no expectation. Like, even my older son is super good. He's really good at playing by himself because he had to, he had nobody to play with. My younger one is not so good at playing by himself because he's always had big brother being his cruise director. I actually find only children are usually very good at playing by themselves. It's not usually such an issue with them. There are children who are just, they're extroverted. They take energy from being around other people. Whereas introverts, that's expending energy, right? So it's a difference in what we find stressful. And so for kids then that's typically how I find kids who are extroverts is when they're like, they always want to be with someone. I'm like, "That's because that refills their tank. That's actually calming. Jen: Interesting. Allana: Versus children who are spending energy. So for them it's actually more calming to have people around and to be engaged with people. And these are the people who when they're in their 20s want to live in those houses with like 40 other people and they're like, "This is fun." And you're like, "No, that's stress. Stress." Jen: Annie, sorry. Annie's been waiting. She's got a question. Annie: No, no, no, no. Jen: She'll try to shut us down, I know it. Annie: I'm giggling because I am an only child and like- Jen: Oh right. Annie: But also, but I'm also an extrovert, so I grew up in a house where, and this might've just been a reflection of my mother and father who both worked full time. And I know that they were just tired when they came home from work, but I always got to have friends over. But I grew up, this supports kind of what you're saying. I grew up in a neighborhood where my, you know, I had three or four best friends within a block of, and we would just skip through the yard to get to, cut through yard backyards to go to the other person's house. And it was like, you just come home when the street lights turned on. That was like our guide and I was, you know, that was probably fifth or sixth grade, but that was there, you know, get on your bikes and you just go, you, you, and, and as long as you're home, by the time the street lights come on, like, we're good. Jen: I'm at the point where I'm like, when my kids are hungry, they'll come home. Like I trust. I've come to trust it. And because you're building this relationship, right, you give them more boundaries and more boundaries and then you as a parent, you trust. You know, it's always a little, once you give them a little more, then it's another trust thing. But then, you know, I've built, like, in our neighborhood with my three kids, we just, there's a lot of trust there with my kids now. And maybe I do, maybe I have my kids have more free reign than some of my neighbors, but I have trust there and I know my kids will get hungry eventually and they will come home and we just, it just works. Allana: Totally. And even like people will say to me like, how can you let your five year old go down the street? Aren't you scared he's gonna get hurt and not be able to tell you or you know that somebody's going to snatch him? First of all, my child is usually low jacked with a GPS. So we do live in 2018, these devices exist. Jen: Oh, you actually have a gps on your son? Annie: I actually have a gps on my son. It's the size of about a quarter or a looney. Jen: What do you wear? Can you tell us about that? Where you put it, how you? Allana: Yeah, so it's just I have, you know, those, tags that they put on merchandise in stores so that when you walk out, if you don't pay for it, it'll beep and flash and all that stuff. So those have a pin that need to be removed with a magnet. Right. So I have just a little fabric pouch. GPS goes in the pouch and it gets pinned to his, he's usually wearing cargo shorts. So we put it inside the cargo pocket and we pin it in there so he can't lose it. Nobody can take it off of him unless they removed his pants. And- Jen: And that's connected to your phone? Allana: It's connected to my phone. It doesn't track him. It just tells me where he is, where the gps is in that moment when I go to look at it. So I can tell if he's, and it's accurate to about 20 meters, so I can tell if he's in the general area that I expect him to be in. It also has the ability to send an SOS. So he just pushes on it and it'll alert my phone that he needs help so then I can go find him. Jen: What brand is this? Could you share that with our- Allana: Yeah, it's called a Ping gps. Jen: Wow. I am getting three. Allana: It is awesome. I love it. There are about 80 bucks and then they cost about five bucks a month US to run. But you can't get a cell phone plan- Jen: Look at Lauren writing. Taking notes. Lauren: Ping GPS. Jen: Lauren lives on a beautiful acreage with a huge, that's why she was asking about the fencing and stuff for kids. She always posts on Instagram these beautiful pictures of her back- Lauren: Snow covered. Jen: Yeah, it's November, but it's gorgeous. So, these would be very handy for you, hey, for your- Allana: Yeah. Jen: Country kids. Allana: It also takes off a little bit of that, you know, CAS call pressure- Jen: What if? Allana: Everybody's so scared that somebody is going to go, "You don't know where your kid is" and you're going to go, "You're right. I don't." Whereas if somebody comes to me and says, "You don't know where your kid is," I can go "Actually, he's within 20 meters of-" Jen: Right, right. Allana: The whole like, and even, I was talking about this on my personal Facebook page where I was sharing that No Child Left Alone Study with just with my friends cause somebody had asked about it and my aunt was actually like, well, like she was the perfect example of where you're not judging something based on the actual risk factors. She was "Never be too careful and the world is a dangerous place." And I was like, but it's not based on the statistics, based on the information we have, it's not. Jen: Right. Allana: We were talking about it because as you said, you know, we always give them those incrementally larger responsibilities. My five year old has wanted to walk to the bus by himself in the morning for school, for months now. And the other day he said to me, "Mommy, please, can I have the responsibility to walk to the bus all by myself?" Well, I can see his bus stop from my front window. It's literally two doors down. Our neighbors all know him. My neighbor who lives beside me is on maternity leave so she's watching him out the front door. She's always texting in the morning like "Good morning," I'm being watched. So I know she's watching him too and she's one house closer to him and I was like, I really had no reason to say no to him other than people who don't know you might think you're too stupid because you're too young. That's not a good enough reason for me. So I let them walk to the bus by himself and one of my neighbors took offence and called the bus company and was like, "I don't think this is okay." And they called me and I was like, "That's their problem." Jen: Right? Totally. Good for you girl. Look at you go. Allana: He's, you say, and it's again, we're, I'm pretty sure the directives we get next year are going to be rewritten because their directive saying that children need to be supervised at the bus stop. I'm like, that literally means they need to be watched. And I was watching him. It doesn't say they need chaperones. So we need to start kind of advocating on the competence of our children too because so many people are so quick to say, "Well, they're five, they're stupid" and no, like you know what your child is capable of and even what they're incapable of and nobody knows your kid like you do. So if you genuinely don't feel like your child can handle walking to the park by themselves because they don't have the awareness of people around them. They're not able to walk on the side of the road. Like I didn't just send my five year old to the park, we walked to the park together for many, many times, almost the entire summer. You know, I would send him to the park and I would stand at the end of the driveway and watch him walk to the park and then I would follow him with his brother. And we would do the same in reverse and like, again, you work up to it so you have to know your child's competency level before you, you try and give them a responsibility, right? Annie: I find it really inspiring and encouraging to listen to you Allana. Like just own your choices even with some pushback from spectators or neighbors or family because I would have, I think that that's something that I get a little nervous about too is, like, my kids, my two oldest run the neighborhood and I really don't, like, I trust them. They've haven't violated my trust. Knock on wood, I have no reason to second guess them that they're going to come home and they're going to be where they are and, but I am always like, what do other people think? Do other people, like, know that like they're okay and that we've had these talks and like there's just this fear of judgment or fear of like getting criticized and then they- Jen: They think you're a bad mom. Allana: Or that I'm just lazy. Jen: It comes down to that in so many situations of decisions we're making and Annie and Lauren and I talk about this around nutrition all the time, right? So it's like you're scared. Do they think I'm a bad mom? Like it's just this constant thing. Allana: And it's that moral judgment again, right? Like do they think that I'm being, that they're doing this because I'm lazy? Does that make them think that they're at a greater risk than they actually are? Annie: I just want to sit on my couch sometimes, and like, don't move. Jen: I do.The thing is, and this, I mean you see it too, like, if you want to take your kids to a park and sit on your phone, I'm like, do it. And I see these posts on Facebook. They're like the mom who just sat on her phone or her kids had to play by themselves and the child was shouting, "Mom, watch me." And the mom didn't look up. I'm like, the child will live, like- Allana: Our parents didn't do that for us. Jen: No. And sometimes it's all the mom has in her day to just be chilled out. Like I had three kids in four years and we lived overseas. So no family and in New Zealand, a lovely thing about New Zealand too is that all their playgrounds are gated. So, and you can't get out. So I could literally go in and just sit and just Facebook or read or whatever, just ignore them. And that was the only time I had and I'm all the power to ya, girl if that's what I'm on. If I see a mom with- Allana: On her phone and I got in it last summer with the mom, cause I do the exact same thing. I bring my laptop generally and I will tether to my phone and like work at the park so that my oldest, my youngest kid run around and ours has a fence but it's not a closed off fence. So I mean if they want to, they can escape. I've walked the perimeter with the many times we've talked about what the boundaries are. If my little one, I've showed him there is a gate, it's open, but that means it's a doorway and you need to stay inside the park or we're going to have to go home and he wants to play. And every once in a while I'll just shout out like "Cubs, where are you?" because we call them the bears and they'll go, "Here, here!" And I'll go, "Great!" And I don't even look up as long as I can hear them I know that they're close. And this woman was like, "Excuse me, do you know what your son is doing?" And I looked up and he was climbing and I was like "On the play structure?" And she was like, "Yes." And I was like, "We're at a park." That's what he's supposed to be doing. And she's like, "But you didn't know that you had to look." And I was like, "That's generally how sighted people determine information. Yes." She was so angry because I didn't have my eyes glued to his butt the whole time. Jen: Oh this busy bodyness is just killing us. Annie: Yeah. Allana: Kids don't need us to be in their face 24 seven. They need the space to play. And in fact, if you're playing with your kid and you're not into it, it removes all benefit of play for them. Both, all the people who are playing something need to be in a place state in order for the play to be beneficial. One person or group that isn't enjoying the play removes all the benefits of play for every single person in that group. So if your kid is forcing you to play trucks with them and you're like, "Oh my God, when is it nap time, I don't want to be here." They're not actually getting the benefit of you playing with them. Jen: Yeah, that's so interesting. Allana: So it's better to find something that you actually enjoy doing with your child and do that so that you're both in a play state, it's a frame of mind. It's not an action. Jen: Brene Brown has in her parenting book The Gift of Imperfect Parenting. They sat down as a family and made a list of things that fill everybody's cups and found the common ones and then that's what they focus their family time around now. And I thought, I thought it was such a good idea, right? Like it's mind. So Brenay Brown said it's mind numbing to play board games for herself and so she's just done. She's not doing it anymore. I was like, "Wow, it's so nice to hear someone like you give me permission to not do these things that I don't like doing with my kids. And I don't, I don't do things I don't like with my kids anymore either." Allana: Like I swim with my kids. That's what I enjoy doing. So we go swimming once or twice a week and we get in our mommy and kid time and that's great. Other than that, I'm like, "Please go do something else." And they're like- Jen: Raise yourselves. Allana: "How are you running a business at home? Mostly by yourself. Two little boys at home." And I mean, my oldest is in JK but he only goes three days a week. And I'm like, because they play by themselves. They go, I feed them breakfast, then I'm like, "Okay, play time." And they go and play in the basement and I'd go work and then they come up when they get hungry and I feed them and the little one goes down for a nap and the big one goes downstairs and play some more and it just gives you so much more freedom. It's actually better for their brain. Jen: And you're happier as a parent, right, having some time. And I guess before we wrap this up, I want to, you know, I just, I guess it's to, it's nice to let parents know that there is detrimental effects to your child by over supervising them, right? So just saying like there's measurable detrimental effects to these kids. Allana: Children who are closely supervised during their play will hamstring their own play. They won't allow themselves to go into a full play state because they're anticipating being interrupted or corrected. Jen: Oh interesting. Allana: So if you are constantly supervising your child's play, they probably aren't getting the benefit of their own play either. Even if you're not playing with them because they're anticipating having you go, "You can't do that. Don't use that that way. That's a firetruck, not a helicopter." And they're not allowing themselves to go into that fully immersed play state where all those benefits of play, all the problem solving and executive functioning skills and all that really get used in that play state. They keep their play very, very surface level when they're being supervised closely. Lauren: That's interesting because I find myself, I can't not correct when they're in view. So I put them out of view. I'm like, "Go in the playroom and play because when you are doing this, I cannot help myself but say stop it." Jen: It's like when I bake with my kids. I, like, can't handle cooking or baking with my kids because I, I just am like, "Don't do that. That's wrong. You're going to break it!" Allana: My mom's a pastry chef and God bless her, she can and I'm like, "Okay, that is your thing, Nana." She is totally into the whole cooking thing. And you know he got all these little, like, real knives and stuff, but they're small so that he can handle them. And the other day we were making, just chopping up potatoes for like roasted potatoes for dinner and he was like making these, like, really, like, random sized chunks. And I was like, "Okay, you're too," Jen: You're like twitchy about it. Allana: One inch cubes, not two, you're holding a knife and you're doing well. You're not killing yourself. Annie: Oh, that's awesome. So a lot of this is, I mean, it's not just about retraining kids to do this. It could be about retraining yourself too, or both or both depending on what you're kind of used to and what your goals are. And, but either way, I mean, just to summarize, this is good for both sides. Both parties, both parents, caregivers and kids when they have unsupervised specifically outside, but unsupervised play. So- Allana: Absolutely. And so many parents, so many moms express that guilt to me cause they're like, "I feel bad making the play by themselves. I feel bad that I'm not engaged with them. I feel super guilty." And it's like, "This isn't about you. This is about them." And it's, yes, it benefits you as well and that's nice, but this really is about them. This is for them. And it takes that guilt away. You don't have to feel bad for making your kids play by themselves. It's good for them. Jen: I want to just kind of leave us with this vision. I'm going to tell you something that really struck me when my kids were younger and was an eye opener moment for me actually. And I was watching, I was in a hard place with motherhood, right? Like these three kids under five, oh my gosh, under four actually. And I was watching The Good Shepherd and it's an old movie that takes place in the fifties. It has Matt Damon and Angelina Jolie and there's this scene where Matt Damon, he's coming home at the end of the day and all, and he's walking up to the house. It was a well researched scene and this is not even what the scene was about. It's just something that I noticed. The moms were all grouped together chatting in one person's front yard and they were all smoking as they would be in the 50s and kids were running everywhere. And I like had this pain in my chest when I saw it because it reminded me of how lonely I was and how parenting must've been so differently back then. Different back then. And not just that, I think moms are more lonely now. It's that kids are more lonely now in a way too, right. Because we are very isolated inside the homes and yeah, I just quite, I really quite crave are return to that and I feel like we've kind of found it in our new neighborhood and like it's just easier and simpler and yeah. Allana: I think, I think once we realize that what children do naturally is, there's generally a reason behind it. We don't tend to trust kids in what they're doing. We want to, we think we know better, but children know what they need and they'll do what they need. And once you can start to trust your kids that way and realize that what they're doing, whether it's a behavior, even if it's a maladaptive behavior, even if it's like what they're playing, if it makes no sense to you, children are doing things for a reason. There is never a child that is doing something just because they feel like it. Like there's never not a reason behind something that a child does. And so when you can trust that and trust that your child is doing what they need, it's so freeing for us. And it does allow us to go back to that, you know, children are allowed to be rambunctious. They're allowed to get hurt, they're allowed to be unsupervised. And you know, people keep thinking, "Oh well, you know, lots of, you know, the good old days didn't exist." Well, no, but we can bring them back in a modern way that is safe and comfortable for everybody. It doesn't have to be the way it was in the fifties for it to be beneficial. Jen: Right. We have tape and our GPSes. Allana: Exactly. That was a hard thing for me because I was like, I have a Bluetooth tracker on every, on my keys and my wallet. Even on my car. I have everything tracked. So not being able to have that connection to my kid was really freaky for me. But we have the technology, let's use it. Annie: Cool. Awesome. Allana, where can they find your group if they want to join? Allana: My group is called The Parenting Posse with Allana Robinson and it can, if you want to go directly there, it's facebook.com/groups/parentingposse. Yeah, and my Facebook page is Uncommon Sense Parenting. So because everything that I teach make sense once you think about it, but it's not common sense. Annie: Perfect. Well, thank you so much. This is great. I think, I know our audience is going to really enjoy this conversation, so thank you so much for time today. Jen: Thank you so much for all the help you've given me too, you've really changed the way I parented and I so appreciate it. Allana: That makes me so happy. I can't even tell you. Annie: Yay. Alright, well thank you. Good chat. Jen: Bye. Allana: Bye. Lauren: Bye. Annie: This episode is brought to you by the Balance365 program. If you're ready to say goodbye to quick fixes and false promises and yes to building healthy habits and a life you're 100% in love with, then checkout Balance365.co to learn more.
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| 17 Aug 2022 | Episode 233: Q+A – Emotional Eating | 00:17:43 | |
Episode OverviewHello, everyone! We’re back with another Q+A episode for you all! This week we’re covering two topics: strategies to practice better thoughts when you can’t seem to get past the unhelpful ones, and how to differentiate between satisfying a craving versus giving into an emotional urge to eat. These are excellent questions and we can’t wait to dive in. Join us! Emotional eating is one of the top issues our audience reports struggling with. If you too struggle with emotional eating and are ready to do something about it, check out our 3 Steps to End Emotional Eating Mini Course. Key Points
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TranscriptDownload a copy of this episode’s transcript here. | |||
| 12 Jun 2019 | Episode 70: How To Ask For What You Need Without Apology | 00:54:30 | |
Often women are socialized to present as if they need nothing from the world. While the spirit of independence is inspiring, the reality is that as humans we do need things and that isn’t about weakness, it’s about humanity. In today’s episode, Jen and Annie talk to clinical social worker Mel Bosna to explore human needs and why they matter.
What you’ll hear in this episode:
Resources: Learn more about Balance365 Life here Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Play, or Android so you never miss a new episode! Visit us on Facebook| Follow us on Instagram| Check us out on Pinterest Join our free Facebook group with over 40k women just like you! Did you enjoy the podcast? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Google Play! It helps us get in front of new listeners so we can keep making great content. TranscriptAnnie: Welcome to Balance 365 Life Radio, a podcast that delivers honest conversations about food, fitness, weight, and wellness. I'm your host Annie Brees along with Jennifer Campbell and Lauren Koski. We are personal trainers, nutritionists and founders of Balance365. Together we coach thousands of women each day and are on a mission to help them feel healthy, happy, and confident in their bodies, on their own terms. Join us here every week as we discuss hot topics pertaining to our physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing with amazing guests. Enjoy. We live in a culture that often labels women who express their needs as needy or high maintenance. We praise women for being needless, for ignoring their own wishes and desires so everyone else around them can thrive. But denying your needs can ultimately leave you feeling resentful, misunderstood, or even downright angry. Clinical social worker, feminist therapist and artist Mel Bosna understands that having needs doesn't make you needy, it makes you human. Mel is a licensed clinician in the state of Arizona and believes that our best chance at health involve both individual and societal changes and as a result, Mel aims to validate the broader context of what contributes to the stories we're living while supporting clients to change what's within their control to change. Mel feels that it's been a profound honor for her to support women. Together they are learning how to walk away, claim new life, root into new ground, speak the unspeakable, own the narrative, change the script and to say enough to the shame and the lies that have haunted them for too long. On today's episode, Mel offers amazing insight on how to begin identifying our needs and how to meet them in a healthy way. Mel acknowledges that honoring and communicating our needs can leave many of us feeling vulnerable, but encourages us to acknowledge the discomfort as an opportunity for new growth. As always, if you want to continue the discussion from today's episode, we invite you to join our free Facebook group, Healthy Habits Happy Moms. Enjoy! Jen, we have a special guest, like a VIP guest with us today. Are you so stoked? Jen: I am. Annie: Yeah. Mel, how are you? Welcome to Balance365 Life Radio. Mel: I am so thrilled to be here. Thank you for having me. Annie: We are so happy that you're here. You've been around our community for a while. Like you go, you go way back. Mel: Beginning. Annie: How did you, how did you find, well, it probably was Healthy Habits Happy Moms. Mel: Yeah. Annie: -at the time, how did you find us? Or how did we find you or do you remember that? Mel: To be clear, I really don't. I, I think I probably found you as like a recommended group on Facebook, which I'm no longer on, but- Annie: Thanks, Facebook. Mel: No, I stumbled across it and having worked in the eating disorder recovery field for quite awhile, I was always looking for resources that were balanced and appropriate to send people to. And so I just kind of fell into the group. I really enjoyed it for the season that I was involved and have just loved cheerleading, watching, you know, what you guys are doing, it's been really great. Annie: Well, we appreciate it. Do you want to take just a quick second to explain to our audience about your work, what you do? Mel: Sure. I am a clinical social worker in private practice in Scottsdale, Arizona. I've been in private practice now for about seven years, but prior to that I'd worked at a number of different facilities. So I did inpatient eating disorder work for about four years, specialize in body image work, sexuality, trauma, our relationship with food and spirituality and one another. From there I was the director of a group home for girls who'd been sex trafficked, was only there for about a year. Loved the population. The agency wasn't a great fit for me. And then I started having kids and you know, reevaluated my career at that point. And so I've been in private practice since then and really specialize with things that fall under the umbrella of women's issues. So I do a lot of complex trauma, attachment, parenting, sexuality, relationship issues, lots of codependency work and really just trying to empower women to discover who they want to be and to, yeah, just give themselves permission to find their own path, ways of meeting their own needs. Mel: And as they do that, it's just compounding, right. All the growth and freedom and vitality within their families and communities. So I definitely look at things from a specific social work perspective. I like to challenge systems. I like to dismantle them, I like to see, yeah, I just like to see people experience a lot more freedom. So- Annie: Right on and you're just, you're a good human and like a powerful, powerful woman. Mel: I definitely feel my power. That's good. Jen: You also are very, you're very creative, Mel. You have, you're an amazing photographer. Mel: Yes. That's kind of been a side project that I fell into. I never set out to, um, be a photographer. It's kind of funny that that word still doesn't roll off my tongue very naturally, but finding ways to integrate art within my activism and healing spaces has been really profound and healing for me, on both a personal and a professional level. So I do have a passion project where I photograph women who are telling their own stories so you can find that work on Melbosna.com. Women getting to share their stories with the hope of just kind of reducing the fear that often comes from just not knowing or understanding one another. Annie: Yeah, it's beautiful. Circling back to something you said when you were telling us about your work was you mentioned women acknowledging their needs, getting their needs met. And that's what we wanted to bring you on to talk to us about today because you and Jen had a little private conversation in the Instagram dm's which so frequently happens with, Jennifer, which I love and adore. That's how we get a lot of our podcast guests is that this, there's this concept and I really identify this, so I'm so excited to see what you have to say on it is, women are taught to be needless, that I always kind of attribute it to, and I know this wasn't her intention and I'm not pointing the finger, but this like kind of this Beyonce attitude, this like, "I don't need anyone. I'm too cool to care. Like I can do it myself." And like, and as a result, I often struggle for asking for help or even really being very clear on what, what do I need? Like what am I feeling? What do I need? And again, the messages is that we shouldn't be needy. Or if we're needy that we're high maintenance. And I think you'd probably want to, argue against that, right? That having needs does not make you high maintenance. Right? Mel: Right. Having needs makes you human. And so our rejection of our needs is actually a rejection of our own humanity and it makes it very difficult then to be a healthy human, are good human if we're rejecting such a core part of ourself. And there are so many different messages that we are raised with about having needs. So whether that's, you know, "Don't be dependent on anyone to meet your needs" like you were just referencing, kind of the anti dependency spirit, right? Like I don't need nobody or where we get those messages that say, that it's like good to be needless, that it's noble to be needless. Don't be aware of having needs or if you are aware that you should sacrifice them and that there's an honor in that. And women particularly are rewarded for being self sacrificial in that way, but it's not really sacrifice in a holy way. It's actually neglectful and it's destructive. Jen: Yeah. That's more where I identify with the word needless, where Annie thinks of Beyonce. And I think of like being subservient and quiet and small and being rewarded for that and feeling loved and validated as a woman because I don't take up space and I don't need anything. Mel: Right. Jen: I find that, I suppose they're both destructive in their own way, but I find that concept of womanhood more destructive than the Beyonce analogy. But I don't know if I've ever lived the Beyonce, perhaps that's why I find it more destructive and that's definitely my background is if anyone who's followed me for any amount of time, I've had a big breakthrough blog post about five years ago called The Selfish Mom in which I wrote about my transformation of, from just serving my partner and my children to kind of stepping out in the world and going, "Hey, wait a moment like this, this doesn't feel very good and I have needs and you four have to make space for those needs in our life." And just how inconvenient I felt and how uncomfortable I was. But, that went, I mean, millions of people have read that blog post now and I think it resonated with a lot of women. So, that's more my experience of wanting to be needless. Mel: Well, I think deep down, we know that we have needs, but we're not taught, again, how to recognize them or meet them appropriately. And so what I see happening is that because we don't know how to steward them or meet them in appropriate ways, that it will always come out sideways in our life. And so whether that's displacement through putting our needs onto other people around us with the expectation that they're just going to meet them on their own, or be able to read them or anticipate what our needs are or displacement onto other areas in our life that are inappropriate, that are illegitimate, expecting that to fulfill our needs. So, you know, at a very base level, we all, humans all have the needs for, you know, safety, shelter, food, water, stability, community, family, right? Like relationship, belonging. But above that, like if we look at Maslow's hierarchy of needs right above that, then we look at our needs for worth, for identity, for romance and sexual, you know, fulfillment or connection and self actualization and purpose and these other needs that, again, are, they're valid and human. Mel: And we all have them, whether we acknowledge that we have them or not. And so if they're not met appropriately, which most of us don't grow up learning how to meet them appropriately, they will inevitably come out sideways. And so in my work with women, I have seen it most problematic when women displace their needs for belonging, acceptance, worth identity, I see them displace that onto food or onto their bodies as a way of trying to meet that need and fulfill it, which will never happen appropriately because food was never meant to fulfill our identity. Jen: There's, another thing too, and inside of this idea that we can meet our needs with food or a body size, you have whole communities that have risen up to support these pursuits. And so what happens is you, you find, you feel as if you, you can find a place to belong if you, too, participate in this, whether it's these food rules or becoming this body size. And that can feel really good, especially for somebody who might actually feel pretty lonely or has been experiencing rejection, or has struggled with just fitting into this culture that does seem to be consumed with food. So it can feel really good initially. And you hear a lot of people, I think, they defend their diets, or they defend, you know, what they're doing, what their goal is because they still have the warm and fuzzies perhaps. Mel: That meets the need. It actually does meet the need. And so it's really hard to walk away from something that's meeting the need, even if it's also costing, you. Jen: Right. Mel: In the process. And so, I mean, I don't think anybody's crazy or stupid for engaging in those types of behaviors because they are, they are actually meeting a need, but it's not meeting it the way that it's designed to be met, if that makes sense. And so because of, because it's an illegitimate way to meet the need, there are all these, like, negative consequences or costs in the process, right? And it's so fluid. So you have to maintain a destructive habit in order to continue to belong or feel accepted or valued. Jen: Right, right. Annie: On a personal note, I found that a lot of the needs that I've been trying to meet, I've been trying to meet them from the outside in versus inside out, if that makes sense. You know, like I was trying to outsource my confidence or put my confidence in my self worth in the hands of other people. Like if my peers like my work, if my husband thinks I'm attractive, if my girlfriends like my outfit, if they think I'm funny, if they think I'm smart then like, you know, then I feel seen or I feel worthy or I feel good enough but it doesn't, it's not super sustainable because then I felt like I was forever reliant on this like applause or this like, "Hey, you like me, right? Like, I'm still doing a good enough job, right? Like, hey, like I'm okay, right? Did I do a good job? Jen: If you like me then I can like me. Annie: Instead of just like checking in with myself. Like, in fact, I've shared many times, Mel, you are actually one of the reasons I started going to therapy because you're like, maybe you need to talk to someone about that. Jen: Maybe just stop messaging me on Instagram. Annie: It was on Instagram. Jen: Mel set a boundary. Annie: And it was wonderful, but one of the things she said was like, "Well, what's your experience? What do you think?" And I'm like, "Well, they liked it so it was good enough." And she's like, "Uh uh. No, you didn't answer the question." And so turning inward or reflecting inward before trying to like outsource all that has been a lot, a lot of work, but it feels like I'm on the right path. Mel: Mmhmmm. It is an inside job and there's both power and grief related to that. Right? Like it's, we still want to have that validation or affirmation given to us from others because again, as women, that's what we've been taught is the path forward, right? As long as we're needless, as long as we're pleasing to others, accommodating others, meeting other people's needs for what, for how we should act or what we should look like, then we think that we can provide ourselves with that type of security. So it can feel really scary to start elevating our own voice, right? And our own validation, it can feel really scary initially because it's just such a unfamiliar pattern for us. But it is rewarding, like you're talking about, to feel so firmly rooted in knowing who we are and also how to meet our needs. Mel: So then it's not dependent on all these other people around us. When we know how to appropriately meet our needs, then we're not just outsourcing them and then scared or powerless with, like, whether or not other people are going to be able to come along and validate, support, fulfill what it is that we're looking for. I see a lot of women do this within their own family, again, because they don't know how to meet their needs. They'll just place their need for validation, for worth, for fulfillment onto their kids or onto their partner. Again, such a, such a vulnerability for their own growth as well as like a huge responsibility for their kids then to have to grow up with making mom happy, making sure mom's okay, making sure mom feels good about herself and so again, the more that we can learn appropriately how to validate and meet our own needs so they're not coming out sideways in our marriages and our parenting or communities, just the healthier the whole system functions. Mel: So it's taken a lot of work. I mean, from, also from a personal place. Like I didn't grow up aware of what my needs were or how to meet them. I am the daughter of a pastor and his wife and I love my parents so much, but both within the spiritual community I grew up with as well as the traditional family system I grew up with, I just was completely clueless and I just thought that my husband was going to know how to meet my needs when I got married at 24 and so this process for me of identifying what my needs actually are and taking ownership of them and then learning how to ask for support at times with meeting them, has been bumpy. It's been sold with a lot of trial and error. But the more that I've taken risk with owning what those needs are and learning how to nurture them and steward them, again, the healthier I have felt and the healthier my family system functions. Jen: I'm circling back to Maslow's hierarchy of needs. This is quite common. I see this and with women I talked to is that, they are making sure or they are the facilitators or the supporter of members of their family reaching higher levels when their baseline is not even being met. And so sometimes I have to, really, it's hard, right? Cause everybody's operating from their own level of awareness. And you know, when I see a woman post, one happened in our community that she couldn't afford pelvic floor physiotherapy after paying all of her children's sports fees for the year. And something like that just breaks my heart, although I can't say I haven't been there right where you are so low on the to do list that your children are participating in multiple extra curricular activities before your own basic health care can be tended to. And what we talk about in Balance365, actually in our program is this, if you are a member of a family, this is a family job to sit down and make sure everybody's needs are being met. And that is so uncomfortable for so many women, me included. So I was wondering if you can help us in, sharing with our audience how a woman can get started there, what that's going to feel like. Mel: Sure. That's such a great question, Jen. I'm glad you asked it. I think one of the first things that I would, um, encourage anybody who's curious about this process is to start exploring what makes them feel so uncomfortable to begin with, right? And perhaps that's through journaling. Perhaps that's through talking with like, a good friend or your Facebook group. But really just starting to, to evaluate what is it that feels so risky about having needs and prioritizing them and when we bump up against our discomfort or that vulnerability, that's a prime opportunity always for new ground to take place in our life. And so again, we have been taught to avoid discomfort, I think culturally, on a societal level. Like we see it as like risky and just maintain the status quo. But again, that's always where new ground takes place. Mel: And so if we can get comfortable being uncomfortable, right? Like embracing, like, this feels really risky for me to take up space. Why? What messages have I received about taking up space? And whether that's with my physical body or the fact that I need a nap or I'm hungry right now, or I want a vacation away from my family. Or like, I need new clothes or I haven't bought new underwear and you know, so my clients haven't bought new underwear in two years. Jen: Right. Mel: And they're like buying their kids, like, whatever their needs are on a regular basis. So whatever that is, to be able to just say, what is uncomfortable about taking up space here? We just start with looking at the messages that women have heard and the stories they tell themselves. And the behaviors don't change if the story doesn't change. Jen: Mhmm, I think sometimes, you know, for me, I've had to look at the way, what type of woman I've glorified and what type of woman has been glorified within my family and my community or socially, right? So, members of my family, me included, we have glorified the woman who does it all. The woman who wants to be with our kids 24/7 and so I was trying to make myself into a woman who I have seen glorified, not into the woman who I actually am. And that's like square peg, round hole. It doesn't fit very well and it doesn't feel very good when you're trying to squeeze yourself into being something who you aren't. Mel: Right. Right. So I what I love about that, it's just the questioning, right? Of what's the story I've been given about what it is to be a woman, a mother, a partner and does the story serve me? Jen: Right? And the other thing you, a lot of women, have to eventually look at is who have they judged before? Right. So, in my story as I went about trying to be this woman, I was very judgmental to other women who weren't doing that same thing. I was very judgmental towards women who were being more fearless than me, setting boundaries in their family. I think I was maybe maybe resentful towards these women. Jealous? I don't know what it was, but they just weren't fitting into my narrow view of the way women should be which in the end ultimately made it even harder for me to kind of let go of this because I had a lot invested. My ego was totally invested in this way of living. So yeah. Mel: Yeah. It can make it hard when we're invested in a particular narrative, and I'm just going to say this cause I think it might be something that your community bumps up against. It's also really hard when those around us are also invested in this narrative. And so when a woman decides that they are going to start validating and honoring the needs that she has and her children, her partner, her, again, the community at large isn't used to her having needs. There is a disruption that can follow that initially, which is why we need the support and validation of others as well as we do find this new narrative. So I tell people it's kind of like a baby mobile. If you can picture one above a crib, right when you add or take away any part of that baby mobile, right? Like say it's a bunch of teddy bears. Mel: There is an immediate disruption to it, right? Like where it moves around and it feels like chaos and it's unsettling and uncomfortable for every part of that mobile, but eventually it habituates. It finds a new norm. And so for women who are learning, again, how to start to take up more space and ownership of what needs they do have, there is often that initial disruption where where their kids, their partner again, maybe like, "Hey, I don't know. I don't know that I like that you're leaving right now. Right? Or that you're going to go lay down right now or that you're readjusting the budget to buy your underwear when I was planning on getting a new, like, game boy or something." Like there's that initial disruption as everyone's finding like this new norm of what this woman's needs look like within the family system, but it will habituate. And so if we can get comfortable with that initial discomfort or disruption, we can trust that it is what's healthy and good for everyone involved. Annie: This is so hitting home right now because, this probably isn't going to come as a shocker, but I pride myself on being like strong. Like no, I'll just do it myself. Everything from like opening the pickle jar to, like, pushing a car out of the driveway if the battery's dead, like no, like I don't want to ask for your help and if you offer your help, I'm probably going to be even annoyed that you even offered help. And like, I'll just do it myself. And one of the things that I've accepted as I've grown older is I actually am a crier, but I have associated this whatever is behind the tears as weakness. That's like the story that I've told myself is that it's weak and it's something to be ashamed of. And watching the most interesting part has been watching other people respond to me crying cause it's kind of like "Is she okay. Like what? Okay, I don't know what to do with her right now that she's crying." And I'm like, it might not, it might be joy. It might be sadness, it might be I was just embarrassed or it could be so many things, but it has been, like, interesting to be like, "I know what I'm doing and I'm comfortable. But watching your discomfort is interesting for lack of a better word," Mel: Right, right. Well, it's unfamiliar for others it sounds like to see you show emotion, like part of your vulnerability. They're not used to that. And so, I mean, that's what I'm hearing at least. Annie: Absolutely. No, absolutely. That's spot on. Mel: Are you okay? Versus somebody like me or Jen who maybe cries regularly because of the narratives that we've shared about ourselves to other people. But yeah, they will adjust to your kind of new expression of your emotion the more that you practice it. Jen: In my experience, resilient relationships do adjust, right? So I decided to go back to work after my first son and somehow during my maternity leave there, an assumption had been made by my partner that I wasn't going back to work without a discussion happening and his life got pretty good while I was on maternity leave. It was very Flintstones for lack of a better word. And I have no judgment to anybody who has a lifestyle that is more traditional of father works and mom stays home and does the household stuff that is, if that brings you joy, I'm so happy that you're in that role. But I wanted to go back to work and I remember when I told my partner that that would be happening and how our life would have to adjust his jaw just hit the floor. Like he was just, you know, in his head I could see the wheels turning. Jen: He doesn't, you know, get to go to the gym every day that, you know, all these things, supper on the table at six o'clock, all of these things, he realized it would cause him more work. It was just life would become more physically demanding. And, you know, and that was kind of the reality for me of going back to work was that my life was about to get better and everybody else's lives were going to get harder. And it was very difficult for me to step forward into that and say, "But I'm worth it. My happiness inside this family is worth it. I have made so many sacrifices for all of you. You will make sacrifices for me.” And coming to the realization that that's actually how healthy relationships go, right? There's a give and take. And I think myself and a lot of women feel that there's, after a time, as Brene Brown says, you can set boundaries or you can feel resentful. You can, or it's choose discomfort or choose resentment. It's one or the other. And over time, a lot of women become extremely resentful because they're not able to move into that discomfort and, and say, "Hey, what about me over here?" You know, and you're waiting for someone to do it for you. I think a lot of us also have kind of this white knight complex, like there's some kind of, someone's coming to save us, but there isn't, nobody is nobody's meeting our needs, right. Until we ask for them to be met. Mel: Right, right. Yeah. I see that a lot too. Again, going back to kind of this two dominant narratives, one is, you know, again, somebody's gonna come along and and save me or meet my needs. I see lots of women who are just crossing their fingers, hoping that someone's going to notice, like, what they need and just naturally meet it and that either leads again to like total neglect or resentment or that other narrative like that Annie had shared where I'm not going to be dependent on anybody to meet my needs. I'll just meet them all on my own and neither is a true picture of health. Part of our work is practicing curiosity again with like, "Where do I fall on that spectrum, right?" And so the work that each woman has has more to do with the personal narrative that she has about what it means to be a woman and what she's afraid of. Mel: So if she's afraid of asking for help, right, like being dependent or intimate with somebody, then her work is going to be more about the vulnerability of needing someone else to help meet a need. If her work has been, or I'm sorry, if her narrative, has been largely resting on this idea that I'm not supposed to have needs or allowed to have needs, then it's moving into a space of validation and ownership of them. Recognizing that either way brings about that, like, that discomfort and vulnerability and lack of familiarity. It will be disruptive on a personal and relational basis, but it's worth it. I guess I'm curious to hear from both of you, you know, like what you feel like you've gained through risking owning your need, sharing your needs, doing this work yourself, what's come out of it? Annie: Oh, this isn't how the interview works, Mel. You know, one of the things that has come up, and this is kind of in the grand scheme of things that maybe doesn't feel really big, but I have spent so many birthdays and holidays and Mother's Days praying that my husband will get the gift I want, treat me the way I want, like do the thing that I want. And it's not even necessarily what I want. Not even necessarily like this big extravagant like party or anything. It's just I just, like you said, I want him to read my mind. Right. And what I've done since kind of doing this emotional work in the last couple of years is just flat out said like, this is what I would like. Mel: Yeah. Annie: And he's happy to do that. Like he's happy to fill those needs, assuming that he can make it, whatever happened. And oftentimes it's usually like, I just want to control the day. I just want to come and go as I please lay in the hammock, take a nap, go get a workout, have lunch with my girlfriends, whatever. It's nothing usually extravagant, but that's so much easier for me to just say what I want and like hopefully help assist, implement that if needed. And instead of the alternative, which was this like pouty, like "He didn't get mother's Day right. Like, that's not even the book I wanted. Or like he thinks I like that color? Like what was he thinking?" Jen: It actually takes far more energy, I think to be that, to just ask for what you need then to have all these thoughts racing all the time and disappointments and resentments growing. Annie: But then there's this, and I don't, I don't know. What do you, what do you think of this? There's this like, you know, okay. Just say, like, flowers. Like he got me, I wanted flowers and I kept asking for flowers and now he got me flowers and he only got me flowers because I asked for flowers, so he didn't really want to get me flowers, you know? And then there's this, like, he just got them because I asked them for them. Does that, do you know what that is? Jen's giving me a look like "What are you talking about? " Mel: I do. I do. Annie: Because I want the flowers because it's an expression of your love and how much you care about me, not just because I asked you to get flowers. Does that make sense? Mel: Yes, it does. I relate actually to this very specific example of yours. So I remember years back, my husband would bring me flowers on our anniversary and maybe Valentine's Day. Great. Right? Like those are the two days of the year that we would expect it. And so it wasn't very special. And I know every relationship is different. Every, yeah. But just speaking from my, and then not only will he not bring flowers on those outside of those particular days, he would bring me ugly flowers. Jen: Carnations. Mel: Yes. It would be like flowers that I would be like, "Ugh! Again!" like Annie said, "Does he not know me? Like at all?" Right? Like I would personalize it and so they would be like flowers that just didn't meet my need, right? And so I had to start learning how to advocate for my need. And there is an element to this process that, again, takes some of the surprise out of it, right? Like, like you were saying, Annie, like, you want, you want them to intuit, right? You want to feel surprised or wooed or whatever it is by it, but the need didn't get met. So if I was just going to wait until he intuited I wanted flowers, or intuited which flowers I like versus, you know, don't like, and then I would feel like a total B, by the way, like, for being upset about the ugly flowers. In the back of my head, I hear that shame voice, that inner critic that said, "You should just be grateful that you got flowers. Do you know how many women would like to get flowers? You should just be grateful." Mel: And so that should voice would weigh in, which would be invalidating of the need that I had as well. And so I started just, like, taking pictures off of Pinterest and sending them to him. "These are the types of flowers that I like." Right? And now it's like when I notice that maybe I haven't had flowers in a while, I might say, "Hey babe, sometime in the next like three weeks, can you bring some flowers home? It would mean a lot." Right? And is it lacking maybe in that element of surprise I wish was there? Sure. But does my need get met? Yes. And they're really beautiful flowers, right? It's showing up for myself and then he gets to feel like a hero because he's able to support, maybe hero's the wrong word, but he's in alignment. Right. He's getting to show up for me as well because I've showed him how to appropriately-. Annie: Yeah. That's, yeah. That's a great example. I love that. Mel: Well, you know. Annie: What about you? How has it changed since you- Jen: Are you looking at me? Annie: Yeah. Since you started showing up for yourself? Jen: I would just say I feel more like I'm living a life I'm supposed to live. I'm the woman I'm supposed to be and I'm in alignment with myself. I'm living a life aligned with my values. I feel I've changed the trajectory of my children's future in their own relationships because I'm showing up as a woman who, I'm normalizing a woman who asks for her needs to be met. Actually, early on when it did feel very uncomfortable for me and I wanted to hide and not do it I would do it for my children. So I have three boys and my husband also grew up with three boys and there was a very traditional model in their household and that just became their normal and my husband's normal and he wanted that normal to continue. Jen: So, these are just, you know, bringing this awareness to my children, I think, that women have needs, women take up space, moms take up space. The other, this is so small but it felt profound for me. My children had all had breakfast and exited the breakfast area. I was sitting down with my toast and coffee and my oldest son came back in for second breakfast and asked me for my toast and I was like, "I have not even eaten yet this morning and you are asking me for my toast, like I get to eat. Now it is my turn to eat. And if you would like to feed yourself again, you are welcome to go make yourself some toast." And it was just, it was just a moment for me to go, "Um, no, like I'm setting a boundary here with my child to say like, I'm taking care of me right now and I get to meet my needs before I meet your second breakfast needs." Jen: And this was just stuff I couldn't do before. I really was just a "Yes, yes sir" kind of lady. And yeah, so it's kind of those small moments, but also the big moments, in fact that I, even when I first started this business, I thought, I felt so called to start it. And then I thought I could run this business between the hours of nap time and my husband at work. And I realized at one point I was trying to, I was trying to create not just a business, but a movement and a community that did not disrupt anyone else's lives. Do you know? And I was just run ragged because I was trying to do this without interrupting anybody. So, and now today it's like, "Hold on, I do need help at with, you know, running this country, it is going to disrupt people's lives. Just like everybody, you know, just like soccer disrupts our lives and my husband's career has disrupted our lives. So, those are big things for me. But I, they just feel so normal for me now. It feels so expected. Like of course, like, that was crazy that I would think like that. Like of course my needs need to be met. Mel: Right. Annie: Mel, if you had a couple of takeaways, one or two takeaways, because what I imagine is, women are listening to the three of us talk about like, "Oh yeah, like, maybe I want to do that too," or "I should do that" or "That's a great idea." Or "I know I need to ask for this Xyz." I imagine some of them are, maybe can have the courage to like have a conversation with their partner, a friend, a mom and dad, whoever they're expressing needs with and then almost like hiding under the covers. Like, "Oh my God, I can't, like, I can't believe I just did that." And like having this, like, "Okay, I asked for it, but then actually maybe I asked for a nap, but now I'm going to actually go take the nap. Or I asked for a night out with the girls, or a night off from cooking or whatever it is." But then actually following through on it, like there's a different, there's a difference between expressing it and then actually allowing yourself to- Mel: Yeah. Annie: do the thing. What would you, how do you recommend women navigate that discomfort of actually taking action on their needs? Mel: Right. I think that's a really wonderful and important question. So, again, the story that we tell ourselves about who we are and whether or not we're allowed to have needs and whether or not we're allowed to receive, not just give, but to truly receive. We get to change that story. And so if something feels, like, so uncomfortable, distressing, intolerable. I had a friend who, who could hardly lay on a massage table. She felt so guilty, right, for being there, right, for that whole hour. We have to change the story. And so starting to soothe that discomfort, that shame, we want to expose it. Again, like Jen was saying earlier, asking ourselves, "What are the messages I have for myself about taking up space or having this need or receiving without always giving and how do I change that message?" And so for me, in my own work and the work that I do with, you know, my clients, it really is continuing to deepen into the fact that I have nothing to prove. I have nothing to earn. I have nothing to lose, but I am allowed to be human, which means that I'm allowed to have needs and that's holy and it's good and that practice of receiving it and taking up space has everything to do with the story that I tell myself and then the behaviors that I practice. And so if we want to see the behaviors in our life change, we have to always be critical then of what is the story. Does that make sense? Annie: Yeah, I'm just, like, in a trance that's, like I think I'm going to need to put that little clip right there on some sort of mantra meditation that I listen to every morning. Yeah, that's just, that's a really beautiful message and I really hope that your words and your stories and our stories give women permission that they're, you know, maybe needing to express their needs with whoever in their life. Mel: I hope so too. I hope that this inspires people to take more risk and to lean into that discomfort and, to accept that disruption is a healthy, vital part of our growth. And like Jen and you and both spoken to, healthy relationships around us will adjust, they will adapt, they will want to affirm even in the discomfort of that new pattern. And it's part of what teaches us, again, who's healthy and safe around us because if people don't allow for that growth, like us being human, right? Like having needs. If there's not an allowance for that, then, again, that's an opportunity to to be critical or curious about the types of relationships and communities that we're part of. So yeah, I hope this does inspire people to be curious and self validating, take some more risk. Annie: Absolutely. It's beautiful. It's really inspiring. It's very encouraging and optimistic. Very optimistic message too. Mel: Yeah. Well, thanks for having me on. Annie: Yeah. Thank you. Jen, anything to add before we wrap up? Jen: I just, I actually was, Mel, as you were talking, I wanted to, just on a very practical, baseline level, how we kind of have figured this out in my marriage is that, I think in some marriages you get in these patterns of, like, give, like, a "me, me, me" or it can feel like that in some ways. Like it's this person or this person rather than this person and this person. And, we, in our marriage we had a real scarcity issue around time, energy, money, and once we've been able to just flip our mindset to one of abundance, I'm sorry if this is getting too woowee here for everybody to understand that everyone's needs can be met. Jen: Like they can, we have the time, we have the energy and how we actually make that happen is we had a marriage counselor once that said, "Every family should have three things you need. You need time connecting with each other time connecting as a family and you need time connecting with yourself." And we now sit down with our calendars and as unsexy as this is, we schedule those in. Are we hitting those three things? And of course sometimes we go through seasons where it's more about the kids, like soccer season, for example, which is right now, but then we, we have to keep in mind too, we have to rotate priorities back to that balance of hitting those three things. And sometimes a season of our life might be more about connecting with self or connecting as a couple. But, it's just keeping those three things in mind all the time and actually doing the unsexy things of sitting down for the calendar and making sure that's getting scheduled in. And once we started doing that, we saw there is time, we can meet everyone's needs. It doesn't have to be this tug of war. It doesn't have to feel that way. And I think when partners initially approach that conversation, you know, based on different relationship patterns, they may have been in prior, it can feel like that. But I, you know, I think it's a family conversation and how, you know, how do we do this for everybody, right? Mel: Well, I would agree there is a real practical element to this as well, in terms of, I don't know, I don't know anybody whose needs are met 100% of the time, right?Like I don't every day like feel 100%. Jen: Right. Mel: And that takes intentionality and ongoing curiosity or evaluation for me to know what needs to prioritize on my own. So for instance, I may have a need to hang out with my girlfriends, to get some exercise, right. To have some alone time, to, you know, like, to do a project and so I'm regularly assessing with the time that I have, with the resources that are available, what need do I prioritize and meet the most today or this week or this month. Right. And so there are seasons where my alone time is the most precious need for me to protect. Mel: And so that may mean that I structure then my schedule around having alone time, which may mean that I exercise alone, right? Or that I, when I finally have time to go out, I go out alone versus other times where maybe I need to sleep more or I need time with my girls more, whatever it may be that that self awareness is key. And again, we're often discouraged as my men to be that self aware because we're so focused on our children or our careers or the other relationships we have in our life. So learning how to prioritize, again, just practical, it's a habit. . Nut it will make women, I really believe that it's going to make one and less fatigued, less resentful, less discouraged, less alone when they're able to be curious and attend to the needs that they have. So it's worth it. Jen: Yes, totally. It's worth it. Annie: Alright, Mel. We're going to wrap up. But we'd love to have you back some time. I know that there's other topics you specialize on that I just, I would love to pick your brain on. And, think you're just such- Jen: I think we've both tried to solicit you for therapy. Mel: No comment. Annie: This is how we get therapy, Jen. We just keep asking her on our podcast. Jen: I remember, I asked, I told Annie one time, I asked Mel to be my online therapist. Annie: I did too. Jen: Yeah. And then Annie was like, I did too. Mel: I had to turn you both down. Annie: Well there should be. Yeah, there you were very ethical in it. Mel: You guys are my friends, you know. Annie: Yeah, you know, there's boundaries and ethics and you know, state laws that we tried to disregard, but you honored your boundaries and you're like, "No, you need to go talk to someone about this." And we both did and it's both been great. So thank you for pointing our heads in the right direction. But, we would love to have you back, because I think there's even an element here about how, what you talked about earlier and how some of these needs can come out sideways, that I think we could dive in deeper and how this need for belonging and acceptance can come out as, you know, diet and exercise disordered behaviors even. So, thank you so much for your time. This was wonderful. Jen: Thank you, Mel. Annie: So great to talk to you. Alright, we'll talk soon. Jen: Bye. Annie: This episode is brought to you by the Balance365 program. If you're ready to say goodbye to quick fixes and false promises and yes to building healthy habits and a life year 100% in love with then checkout Balance365.co to learn more. | |||
| 28 Dec 2022 | Episode 252: Jen and Annie’s Highs and Lows of 2022 | 00:44:58 | |
Episode OverviewIn the spirit of transparency, we’ll be honest: we had plans to create a very different podcast episode for you today. But 2022 threw us, as we’re sure it did for many of you. So instead, today we’re taking an “off the cuff” approach and sharing our highs and lows of 2022. Hopefully, this podcast can help you approach 2023 with a new perspective. Are you ready? Note: make sure you have some tissues nearby. Our life-changing coaching program opens up in January and we have a limited number of spots available. Get on the waitlist for early access to spots and to save $199! Click here to join. Key Points
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| 06 Apr 2022 | Episode 214: How To Stop Tracking Calories And Macros Without Losing Control | 00:39:25 | |
Episode OverviewCalling all the macro and calorie trackers out there, the ones who don’t want to be stuck tracking for the rest of their lives. We SEE you. In today’s episode, we’re unpacking why individuals get so caught up in tracking calories and/or macros, what problems might come from that, and then we’ll provide you with a template for how you can free yourself from macro- or calorie-counting in a way that makes sense for your life and goals. If you’ve noticed your cravings have been taking control lately, make sure you grab our FREE guide, Five Reasons You’re Craving Sugar right here. It *is* possible to manage your sugar cravings! Key Points
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| 26 Apr 2023 | Episode 269: How to Talk to Your Partner About Your Weight Loss Goals | 00:32:55 | |
Episode OverviewYour partner has a profound impact on your behavior change journey, whether you're dating, married, cohabiting, or living apart. We understand you want to be seen, heard, and supported. Unfortunately, body and weight shame, as well as repeated failed attempts to make change, can create challenges when it comes to communicating your needs to your partner. As a result, many women feel alone in their pursuit of a healthier lifestyle. But you don't have to do it alone. We know from personal and professional experience that these conversations can feel vulnerable, but in today's episode, we'll provide you with practical tips to help encourage and strengthen your connection with your partner. As you prepare to listen to this episode, we have exciting news to share! Our highly-anticipated Power Bowl Challenge is just around the corner! In a few weeks, you'll have the chance to explore new recipes, meet like-minded people, and learn how to create delicious, high-protein, high-fiber meals that will satisfy your hunger and help you stay on track with your health goals! Don't miss out – sign up today! Key Points
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| 18 Nov 2020 | Episode 143: The Calorie Nightmare Of The Holiday Season | 00:36:40 | |
If you’re a resident of North America, you know we’ve entered a season where we’re bombarded with high energy food for several months. Many people eat their way through Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years… Feeling totally out of control and unable to moderate their eating habits. This usually leads to jumping on board a diet bandwagon come January. (Repeat every year, forever!) No judgement, you do you, boo! But... What if we told you there IS a different way to navigate these food-abundant seasons all while honoring your desire to celebrate and enjoy what each holiday has to offer? What if we told you that you can enjoy these celebrations while also not going off the rails? It’s possible, friends! Join us as we share our best tips to help you get through this last quarter of a seemingly endless 2020. Let’s get you set up for success in 2021! SIGN UP to get in on the Cut the Crap Video Series here! Come be social with us! Balance365 Facebook: Weight Loss Without Restriction Balance365 Instagram: @balance365life | |||
| 30 Mar 2022 | Episode 213: How Meg Gave Herself The Gift Of Health At 50 | 00:43:50 | |
Episode OverviewBefore Meg joined Balance365, she was lost. She was about to turn 50, navigating menopause, and ready to throw thousands of dollars at a new weight loss program. Then, she found us. Since joining Balance365, Meg has started reaching her goals at the age of 50! All because she learned how to shift her mindset around health and weight loss. We love her story, and we know you will, too. If you’re inspired by Meg’s story, and want to start reaching your own goals, get on our waitlist! Enrollment for coaching is currently closed but opens again in May! Click here to sign up today! Key Points
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| 29 Jul 2020 | Episode 127: The Balance365 Nutrition Basics | 00:15:28 | |
In today’s world, with the abundance of diets and different eating philosophies, nutrition can feel confusing. At Balance365 we specialize in keeping nutrition simple. We know people are most likely to stick with plans that are balanced, flexible and can work in a variety of different situations. In today’s solo episode, Jen breaks down the basics of nutrition. She shares how we teach our members to assess their nutrition and food behaviors so they can start putting their time and energy into what matters. Come be social with us! Balance365 Facebook: Weight Loss Without Restriction Balance365 Instagram: @balance365life | |||
| 12 Jun 2024 | Episode 328: How to Stay Consistent When You Aren't Losing Weight | 00:30:52 | |
Episode OverviewToday's episode tackles a challenging aspect of many weight loss journeys: staying consistent when the scale stops moving. It’s understandable you lose motivation when you feel your progress starting to stall; Jen and Annie have both been there—experiencing periods when their weight simply didn't change, or even increased. Today, you’ll learn how to shift your perspective on these challenging moments and keep moving forward, even when the scale stops moving. Join us as we explore strategies to sustain your efforts and stay motivated, even when you feel like quitting. After you listen to this episode, make sure you sign up for our free on-demand workshop, “Cut the Crap, How to Simplify Weight Loss and Get Out of Your Own Way.” This 3-part workshop covers some essential concepts around mindset and weight loss strategies that work for the long term. Register here! Key Points
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| 07 Dec 2022 | Episode 249: What is Self-Trust and Why Is It Important? | 00:31:31 | |
Episode OverviewWe know so many women who wholeheartedly believe they are good for themselves. They have proven their reliability, care, and consideration in relationships with others, yet they struggle to consistently extend that same care to themselves. They see the importance of it, and they long to experience it, but they continue to struggle to consistently practice self-trust. Today, Annie and Jen are here to share their experiences with self-trust. Come listen as they share how they’ve learned to rely on themselves to do the things they know will serve them well (and also where they still struggle!) And before you click play, we want you to know that Balance365 Coaching is opening up again soon. If you’re ready to join us and start building better self-trust and sticking to your habits, this is your chance! Get on the waitlist here. Remember, we are *only* opening enrollment to those on the waitlist so don’t miss it! Key Points
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| 06 Jul 2022 | Episode 227: Q+A - How to Support a Friend’s Weight Loss Goals and Discussing Hunger Between Meals | 00:26:06 | |
Episode OverviewToday’s podcast episode gets really personal really quick! In this Q+A, we talk about our matching tattoos, plus how to support friends with weight loss goals, and how much time does it take your body to adjust to more balanced meals? Join us! If you love our live Q+As, you can access so much more inside of Balance365 Coaching! Enrollment begins in September, so don’t miss it. Get on the waitlist now to get priority access. Key Points
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| 15 Sep 2021 | Episode 185: The Truth About Sugar (Part 2) | 00:56:56 | |
Episode OverviewWe think ALL people deserve to know the truth about sugar. In this episode, we provide you with the tips and tools to make desired changes to your sugar intake. It’s our hope that after listening, you’ll feel informed and empowered to make great decisions for yourself regarding your sugar intake. Join us! NOTE: In part one of this series, we talked about the science behind sugar and started deconstructing some common myths about sugar. If you haven’t listened, please begin there! And before you click play, we have a free resource for you to download: 5 Reasons You're Craving Sugar. Click here to get it sent straight to your inbox so you can start learning how to manage your sugar cravings today! Key Points
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| 29 Mar 2023 | Episode 265: Why Are You Struggling with Following Through? | 00:09:47 | |
Episode Overview“I can keep commitments to people I care about, but I struggle to do the same for myself.” We hear this from so many of our new Balance365 members. That’s why, in this short but powerful episode, we’re going to get to the heart of the issue of why you lack follow through. This episode has the power to shift everything you know about one of the most important relationships you will ever have: the one you have with yourself. Don’t miss it! Key Points
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| 22 Jul 2020 | Episode 126: Member Spotlight: Experiencing Weight Loss By Honoring Her Body | 00:36:59 | |
Before she found Balance365, she was floundering. Meet Erica, a high-achieving lawyer from California and Balance365 Coaching member. On her 39th birthday, Erica decided it was time to give herself the same level of care that she pours into her husband and children. And she hasn’t looked back! Erica learned how to value her body and to create sustainable health practices to become her “best self”. As a result, she has lost 25 pounds. Come be social with us! Balance365 Facebook: Weight Loss Without Restriction Balance365 Instagram: @balance365life | |||
| 12 Jul 2023 | Episode 280: Personal + Professional Updates from Jen and Annie | 01:07:24 | |
Episode OverviewWe pride ourselves on being open and honest with our audience. Today, we’re giving you some updates about our year so far. Join us as we discuss our personal and professional lives, the mistakes we’ve made and lessons we’ve learned, as well as some of our strategic plans for the future. We hope when we share our individual experiences, it helps you think about the direction of your own journey. Before you hit play, make sure to register for our free, on-demand workshop, Cut the Crap: How to Simplify Weight Loss and Get Out of Your Own Way! This workshop has changed how thousands of women around the world approach health, wellness, and weight loss. Register here to get started. Key Points
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| 25 Dec 2024 | Episode 356: Jen and Annie’s Highs and Lows of 2024 | 00:35:43 | |
Episode OverviewHappy holidays to you all! Today on the podcast, Jen and Annie recap their years, discussing their highs and lows of 2024. Listen to learn what they’ve both been up to, how they’re processing and navigating personal challenges, and what they’re thankful for. Enjoy! Remember to mark your calendar! Our life-changing nutrition coaching program opens for enrollment on January 20th. Join our waitlist now to secure early access—24 hours before the public—and we’ll waive the $199 enrollment fee. Let’s make 2025 your best year yet! Key Points
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| 16 Oct 2024 | Episode 346: 5 Reminders About Weight Loss + Nutrition During the Holidays | 00:47:26 | |
Episode OverviewThe holiday season brings a whirlwind of food-filled celebrations, from Halloween all the way to New Year’s! In today’s episode, we’re here to help you think ahead so you can figure out how to stay on track with your nutrition and wellness goals. Learn simple strategies to approach holiday eating with confidence and ease! Do you know what else helps navigate all the food stress this holiday season? Balance365! Get the structure, support, and guidance you need with our world-class nutrition coaching program! Our doors are open RIGHT NOW. Get more details here! Key Points
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| 18 May 2022 | Episode 220: Q+A - Eating For Pleasure, Satiating Breakfasts, And Beating The Mid-Afternoon Slump | 00:30:25 | |
Episode OverviewHey everyone! Today we’re sharing one of our live Q+As where we talk about eating food for pleasure (Is it bad? Is it good?), how to create a balanced breakfast during busy mornings, and what to do to beat the mid-afternoon slump. In case you didn’t know, we go live in our Weight Loss Without Restriction Facebook group to answer all of YOUR questions every Thursday! You can join us there to answer all of those burning health and wellness questions. For now, we hope you enjoy this episode! Our brand new 3 Steps to End Emotional Eating Mini Course is available today! This course will help you cut through the BS advice and learn how to take back control of your cravings. Click to check it out here. Key Points
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| 09 Mar 2022 | Episode 210: 5 Weight Loss Strategies We See In Our Successful Members | 00:26:31 | |
Episode OverviewWelcome to Part Two of our What We See in Successful Members series! Today we’re discussing five weight loss strategies that we commonly see in our most successful members. Every person’s journey is unique of course, but there are similarities worth exploring! Come check them out with us! (And if you haven’t listened to Part 1, you can do that here.) You might be asking, what’s the single biggest thing all our successful members have in common? They sign up for the waitlist for our coaching program and joined when we opened enrollment! Don’t skip this important part! Click here to sign up for the waitlist. Key Points
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| 30 Dec 2020 | Episode 148: You've Been Bingeing For A Month Straight... Now What | 00:22:15 | |
Maybe you’ve been on holidays, a vacation or just a month-long binge and now you’re feeling some regret. So what do you do? You’re likely feeling an impulse to jump on a diet bandwagon… But will that work? In this episode, we’re going to tell you exactly what to do and what not to do when you’re feeling the urge to “reverse the damage” of overeating. We hope you’ll join us! | |||
| 22 May 2019 | Episode 67: What Do You Do When Your Willpower And Motivation Fail? | 00:41:09 | |
Do you ever feel like you would be more successful in your journey to better health if you had more willpower and motivation? Does it feel like everyone else has more willpower and motivation than you? Does it seem like all these changes are more difficult for you than other people? You’re going to want to tune in for this conversation with Annie and Jen for the truth about willpower, motivation and what action you can take to feel more successful.
What you’ll hear in this episode:
Resources: 53: Secrets From The Eating Lab: Dr. Traci Mann Learn more about Balance365 Life here Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Play, or Android so you never miss a new episode! Visit us on Facebook| Follow us on Instagram| Check us out on Pinterest Join our free Facebook group with over 40k women just like you! Did you enjoy the podcast? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Google Play! It helps us get in front of new listeners so we can keep making great content. TranscriptAnnie: Welcome to Balance365 Life Radio, a podcast that delivers honest conversations about food, fitness, weight and wellness. I'm your host Annie Brees along with Jennifer Campbell and Lauren Koski. We are personal trainers, nutritionists and founders of Balance365. Together we coached thousands of women each day and are on a mission to help them feel healthy, happy and confident in their bodies, on their own terms. Join us here every week as we discuss hot topics pertaining to our physical, mental and emotional wellbeing with amazing guests. Enjoy. Welcome to Balance365 Life radio. Have you ever felt like if you just had more willpower, self control or motivation, you would finally be able to reach your goals? We get it. We hear this a lot and it's no wonder. The diet and fitness industry have led us to believe that willpower and control are characteristics of driven, successful, healthy individuals. And if we just had more, we wouldn't struggle. But is that all we need? Do we really just need more self control? And if so, how do I get it? Cause sign me up! On today's episode, Jen and I dive into the theories and the truth behind willpower, motivation and self control and offer tried and true practical strategies to help you stay on track with your goals even when you're just not feeling up to it. And by the way, if you want to continue this discussion on willpower, motivation, and self control, we invite you to join our free private Facebook group. Healthy Habits, Happy Moms. See you on the inside. Jen, how are you? Jen: Good, how are you? Annie: I'm great. We are talking about willpower and motivation today, which is something that comes up so frequently in our community. Like how do I get more motivation? How do I get more willpower? Right? We hear this a lot. Jen: Yeah and everywhere, right? Even the messages we get out of the fitness industry talks about getting motivated and having more willpower. And sometimes those phrases are used in a way that can feel really hurtful, right? Like you're doing something wrong and everybody else, everybody else around you seems to be very motivated and have a lot of willpower and you feel like it's something you lack. Annie: Right? And if you just had that, if you had willpower and determination and motivation and self discipline, then you could achieve anything. Jen: Right? And how many times have we heard, "I just have no willpower and that's my downfall. No willpower." Annie: Right? Yeah. And so we've done a fair amount of investigation into what really is behind willpower, what's behind motivation, what's behind self discipline? Do you really just need more of it? Because that is the message. Like you said, that we've been sold by the fitness industry that like, "Hey, if you just stick to this thing, if you can just have enough self discipline and motivation to stick to this plan, then you'll achieve your goals." And so then that becomes a way in which people feel like they're feeling like, "Oh, I did this." Like you said, "I'm wrong. I'm a failure. I'm lacking in this element of my life and everyone else is doing it. And I'm not." And is there any truth behind that? And I think what we're going to share today might surprise some people. Jen: Yes. Annie: Foreshadowing. Jen: Yes. Annie: And I want to say, like, you've done a lot of writing on this too because a lot of this is in the first phase of our Balance365 programming called Diet Deprogramming. Jen: Yes. Yeah. Annie: And that's the phase in which we kind of challenge, not kind of, we challenge some of the beliefs that you might hold sold to you by the diet and fitness industry, right? Jen: Yes. And the science around willpower and motivation is very heavy. And so I think today we're going to try talk about it in less scientific but more practical terms. Annie: Yeah. Jen: That make sense to everyone. And they can implement in their lives immediately. Annie: Well, yeah, I mean, we're not researchers! Jen: That's the goal! Annie: I mean, I like to think that I'm pretty smart, but definitely not researcher level. Okay. So let's start with the definition of willpower. Let's just get really clear on that. And the definition of willpower is the ability to exert control and resist impulses. And the truth is that we all have varying degrees of willpower. And on one end of the spectrum you'll have people with almost perfect willpower. And on the other end of the spectrum, you'll have people with almost no willpower. And the vast majority of us are- Jen: Somewhere in the middle. Annie: And like Jen said, there have been a lot of studies done on willpower and a lot of theories and it's kind of an ongoing process and you might find some that kind of disagree with each other. So like Jen said, we're just trying to give you more practical advice on how you can reach your goals without maybe relying on willpower and what is clear is that one of our mentors, Steven Michael Ledbetter, he is an expert in the science of human behavior. It's said that people reporting high levels of fatigue are the ones whose lives require high levels of mental energy expenditure. And do you want to give us that marriage example that you share in Diet deprogramming? Can you walk us through that and so we can see what Steven Michael Ledbetter says applies to real life. Jen: Okay. So yes. So, you had just talked about how people who have high levels of fatigue are the ones whose lives require high levels of mental energy expenditure. So this might include having to make many small decisions or choose between similar options all day long, and so what this, what we talk about in diet deprogramming as we compare two people. We've got a stay at home dad and a working mom and I put out this situation where a working mom, she gets up early kind of before anyone else is awake and she has some quiet time, has her breakfast and then she dashes out the door and on her way out she grabs her gym bag, which is packed and ready to go right by the door and she heads up the door for work. Her day is, you know, maybe not a super high stress job. She has some responsibility, but it's not super high stress. Her lunch breaks are always scheduled. She goes to the gym on her lunch breaks. It's a automatic habit and then she returned home around 5:30, six o'clock. Meanwhile, stay at home dad. This is my dream life. That's why I use this as an example. He wakes up tired because he's been up with maybe a toddler a couple of times in the night. He wakes up to lots of noise too, maybe a baby and a toddler crying "Breakfast!" And immediately he's going, "What am I going to feed these kids for breakfast?" And gulping back coffee and then trying to get those kids dressed because they have an appointment at 10 o'clock and then trying to get himself dressed. And it's just the crazy, right? I think we've all been there. Annie: That sounds familiar. Jen: Yes. And then just getting those kids out the door getting, and then one of them saying they got to poop. So then coming back in to change a diaper, like just like madness constantly. Right. And despite his best intentions to do a workout during nap time that afternoon, he is just so mentally fatigued from everything that happened between 8:00 AM and 1:00 PM that by the time the afternoon hits scrolling Facebook and the couch have won him over. And then of course the afternoon to get up from their naps. Similar stuff, making dinner, just that whole crazy and working wife gets home at 5:30 and dinner is almost ready and they sit down for a nice family dinner. They get the kids to bed that night. They go to unwind on the couch. They might share a bag of chips and working Susie goes to bed at a reasonable hour. But stay at home husband is just mentally fatigued, is so sick of being around kids. This is the only time he has in a day to not be with kids and he ends up staying up til midnight like he does every single night. Just hoarding those hours for himself and that might lead to more chips, maybe a beer, watching TV. Then he goes to bed around midnight and it starts again the next day. And so this example I think is typical of what might be happening in a lot of people's households is, you, I don't want to say typical. I'll say it was typical for me for a long time. I don't know if it was typical for you, Annie, but and I would say that even though my partner had taken on the responsibility of earning and that was an enormous responsibility, I felt like my life was chaos, very hard to find a routine when my kids were all little, little. I had three kids under four and it was just that I felt like my mental energy was just, just chipped away at all day long. Just all those little decisions you have to make dealing with unreasonable little kids all day. And it was very hard for me to get the physical or mental energy together. And then it's a downward cycle, right? Like then you have staying up late then broken sleep, can't get up in the morning, can't get going. And you know, we know that spiral, right? Making not so great food choices. Annie: Yeah. it's hard to make great choices when you're exhausted, when you're mentally and maybe even physically fatigued, you're kind of not in a prime position to make a good choice. And the mental fatigue that comes with a long day of decision making, whether it be you, Jen, when you were staying at home or the husband that we described in the last situation, the long day of decision making chips away at your energy and your willpower. So you have the contrast of the working mom who didn't have to make a lot of choices or maybe she made those choices ahead of time. So when she was fatigued- Jen: Right? So she packed her lunch, you know, she packs her lunch the night before, packs her gym bag. Doesn't have to think about those things. And maybe, you know, I think about my husband when he would go to work, there were lots of decisions that needed to be made and he did work in a high pressure environment, but he had assistants, receptionists, you know, like there was a lot of people pushing the ball forward with him, and yeah, so, and I don't want to like create this comparison game. I just might help with conversations between partners or just reflection, right? And so yeah, like, “Wow, how can I reduce the amount of decisions I have to make in a day?” Because what we know is all those decisions is actually contributing big time to your mental fatigue. Annie: Right? And so that's why we talk a lot about things like habits. So when you walk to the fridge, you have your, maybe your lunch for the week, you know, you've got all your power bowls. That's why our power bowl challenge was so successful and we loved it so much is because you don't have to then think at 12 o'clock when you're already starving and like, "Oh gosh, what am I gonna eat for lunch now? And do I want to cook something? Do I want to go grab something?" Because convenience wins. We know that over and over and over again, that whatever is most readily available will likely win out, which we'll talk about how your environment impacts your habits in just a little bit. But essentially what this boils down to in real life that this means, although it may appear that some people have higher levels of willpower than you do, it's probably they've just have just less mental energy expended during the day on large or small decisions. Jen: Right. So that may mean they have less decisions to make, or it may mean that they have habits in place so that they are not making those decisions, right? So you know, if you've listened to our podcast for a long time, you'll know exactly what that means. But if you're new to our podcast, it's sort of how when I open up my phone each time, I don't have to think about what my passcode is to get in, right? But when you go to change your password, you put in your old code, you're like, and then you have put it in again, and then you put it in again. And then all of a sudden you're like, "Oh yeah, I changed my passcode." So that's just an example of where energy is expended in one little way, right? Until that new habit is formed and then it takes no energy for you to do that. Or I was on another podcast, a couple months ago and a farm podcast actually. And, I said to the host, I was trying to explain habits and I said, "What happens when somebody moves the silverware drawer?" And the host, the a male host, Rob, his name was, he goes, "10 years later, you're still reaching to get it out of the old drawer." And that's the thing, right? So habits, having habits set up, like packing your gym bag before bed, if that becomes a part of your night routine and then you don't have to think about it in the morning, "Oh, where's my pants? Where's my shoes? Where's?" Do you know what I mean? And so it's looking at it, you know, case by case. You think, well, these aren't big decisions. Like who cares? But it's actually adding up all those things through the course of a day where you're just like, "Ugh, brain done." Annie: Yeah. Like, you know, the term that comes to mind is just this like exasperated. Like "I can't, I just can't. I can't, I can't." I think I've said that to my husband before like, "I can't make a choice right now. I just need you to do this for me. Like I don't even care." And then he picked somewhere to eat and I'm like "But not that place." Self control is similar. In that when scientists analyze people who appear to have great self control, similarly, it's largely because they're better at structuring their lives in a way that does not require heroic willpower and self control. And in short, they spend time, less time in tempting situations. And that was pulled from also one of our mentors, James Clear, his new book, Atomic Habits, which if you haven't checked out that book or his blog posts they're great. He's hopefully similar to us really applies information to your lives really easily. Jen: Yeah. But ps, he may not know he's a mentor of ours. We may just be like silent mentees Annie: It's not like we're buddies. Jen: Annie, you took his course a couple of years ago. Annie: Yeah, I did. Jen: Yeah. Anyways- Annie: Maybe admirers. Jen: Admirers of his work. Stalkers? Annie: Creepers. Jen: We're not quite at that level. But and we also talked about this in our podcast with doctor Tracey Mann. She's actually done a lot of research on willpower and she talked about it in that podcast and what she had said is nobody has good willpower. You think, you know, nobody does, in different survey she's done when she asks people to rate their own willpower. Everybody scores themselves low on willpower. So nobody thinks they have good willpower. And this is just an excerpt from her book Secrets From The Eating Lab, which is another book we recommend all the time. "Humans were simply not meant to willfully resist food. We evolved through famines, hunting and gathering, eating whatever we could get when we could get it. We evolve to keep fat on our bones by eating food we see, not by resisting it? So is that a good segway into- Annie: Well, I think the takeaway is there, like you can take some of the pressure off yourself for not having like iron man or whatever, like discipline and willpower like, the truth is no one is like that. That's what we're trying to say is that people that you think have really good willpower have most likely, again, created their lives, created routine, created habits that make other options less tempting. They've made the choices that they want to make the most readily available, the easiest to choose, and the most obvious choice in their lives. Jen: Right? So instead of putting all this energy into kind of shaming yourself and getting down on yourself for not having perfect willpower and motivation, put your energy into what we know matters, which is curating your environment and setting yourself up for success, which I do almost every night with my nighttime routine, I kind of start getting things ready for the next day. Annie: Yeah. And motivation is also something that kind of goes, seems to go hand in hand with willpower. And we've kind of been using these terms thus far interchangeably, but motivation is actually our willingness to do things. And the thing about motivation is at times it can feel abundant. Like you have all the motivation and like, "Yes, we're going to do all the things." And then at other times it's like "I'm just so unmotivated, I can't, I can't do anything at all." Jen: Right. Annie: You've felt like that- Jen: Totally. Annie: You've felt that burst of motivation and I think the myth is, again, it goes back to that people that are achieving their goals or they're going to the gym five, six days a week and they're meal planning and their meal prepping and they're eating the foods that the meal plan and plan and they seem so disciplined also have unlimited sources of motivation. And that is not the case either. No one, no one is riding this motivation high all the time, every day. Jen: Even people who, say, prep meals in advance, I prep some or portion of food I'm usually on the weekends and that sets us up for success during the week, but by no means am I cooking and preparing all of my food. You sometimes see on Instagram, you know, like, people who, like, have all these dishes and they line them up and they post meal prep Sunday Hashtag motivation. Annie: It makes for a great photo. Jen: Yes. And they have all their breakfast, all their lunches, all their snacks, all their suppers lined up for the week. Which, honestly, all the power to you. Some weeks I probably could use that. I just don't have time on the weekends to do in depth preps like that. But I do perhaps some and I do meal plan so I know what's coming. That's when meal planning can be great because it takes away the mental energy of deciding what you're going to eat. But what I will say is even the stuff I do prep, I'm not, I don't always feel motivated to eat it. I'm not like, "Oh, can't wait!" I'm like- Annie: Yes! Amen! Jen: And I think even the people who prep all those meals in advance, they might seem really motivated on Sunday cause they've got all these prep meals, but I bet you by Thursday they're eating the same lunch that they had all week and they're just like not thrilled. Or drowning in BBQ sauce. Annie: I can't tell you how many times I have and this is something I would have done back in my deep dieting years is, you know, this on again off again thing, I would like clean out the kitchen. I'd have this like motivation usually triggered, I mean, let's just revisit the diet cycle here. Triggered by shame. I'd see a photo of myself and like, "Ugh, got to lose 10 pounds!" Clean up the kitchen. I'd run to the grocery store, buy all this produce and lean meats and veggies and fruits and like I'm going to do this so well this week. And then, like, come Thursday I'm like, "Ugh!" Because you get this burst of motivation and then to, like, continue to the follow through is, like, that's much harder and when you rely on motivation to do the things that's bound to happen. That's exactly what we would expect from a human because again, no one is riding this high of motivation, seven days a week, 24, seven hours, 24 hours a day, seven days a week. It's unreliable and it's fleeting. It comes and it goes, it ebbs and flows. It rises throughout the month, throughout the day. And, like, I notice it, my motivation rises and falls throughout the day and even in particular to do certain things. If I wanted to have motivation to go work out I know that it needs to be mid to late morning. If I wait until 6:00 PM to work out, it's probably not going to happen. Maybe some days, but probably not. Vice versa, if I try to work late at night, I can't work late at night. It needs to be like three, four o'clock seems to be like a really productive hour for me. So if I have something important to do, like, you know, kind of stack your day to where the motivation fits that task. Jen: Which can work. For me, the only realistic time I have to work out is super early in the morning. So I get up at 5:30 and I work out from six till seven three days a week. And I am never, ever, ever hopping out of bed excited, like "I can't freaking wait." It's just become a habit and which can lead us into a discussion about values and goals. But ultimately for me,I made a commitment to do this to my future self. So when I get up in the morning, I just don't let myself question it. Obviously if I've had a rough sleep or a sick kid, I will not get up at that hour. You know, I have grace with myself and I'm realistic. But yeah, I'm never motivated to do it. It's just simply become a habit for me. And something that's very important to me. Annie: I think that's a common mistake people make is they're sitting around waiting for motivation to strike them like lightning from the sky and as a result they're at the mercy of motivation. So they can't take action until they're motivated. That's like this belief that they have in their head. But you can also flip it and action leads to motivation, which research has proven as well. And I think just anecdotally, you would probably say the same thing. I would say the same thing. Like you get that first set in, you get your workout clothes on, you get into the gym and you start the workout and it's like, "Okay, I can do this now." And then you'll do it, and then it snowballs and it's like, and then you retrain your habit loop in your brain, like, I get up, I do the thing. The reward is I feel good. I may be more productive during the day, in the long term I'm improving my health, I'm increasing my strength, I'm learning new skills and then that's how habits are formed. Jen: Yeah, absolutely. Annie: Without relying on motivation. Jen: Right. Yeah. Annie: Boom. Jen: And that's why a lot of people give up on workout routines, right? Like how many people start something new and within three weeks they're done because they just, they lose, they're super motivated at the beginning, everybody is, when I started this new lifting program, well, its Arms Like Annie, it's your program, Annie,, I was very motivated but that really it doesn't last. And then you, then it's boring because then you're just putting in reps. But that's actually where the magic starts happening, I think, is actually those boring stages when you don't want to, that's when you're starting to, you're not relying on motivation anymore and you are truly training in that habit cycle and you might feel yourself resisting and trying to go back to old habits. Right? When my old habit is to sleep till seven, not get up at 5:30. But that's truly when the magic starts happening. That's truly around even where the tipping point starts happening, right, into forming a habit. And so that's why it's important to push through but not push through in the way that push through and find more motivation. It's like just push through like you're there, like this is, this is where it's going to happen. Annie: So that's, inside Balance365, that's something we call the Habit Hangover often. Like, we see that it's pretty common. Like, because people- Jen: This isn't fun anymore. Annie: Yeah. When they're motivated and they're like, "Okay, now this is just hard work and I'm not near as excited as I was when I started three weeks ago. And the newness, the shininess has worn off. Jen: Yes, new and shiny is gone. Yes. Annie: And again, that's another vote that we've said it before on the podcast. We say it all the time in our community. That's why we start habits small because when that motivation falters and it will then you're not relying, you don't need like this Richard Simmons level of willpower and motivation to do the thing that you're supposed to be doing if you start a little bit smaller versus like doing all the things at once. Jen: Yeah. So actually because I had struggled with, we moved a couple of years ago, a year and a half ago, I guess, and since we moved, I really struggled with my workout habit. So it was kind of last fall sometime where I just epiphany, "Look, this isn't working. I'm not being consistent because I haven't been able to find a time in my day that this really works for me. It definitely does not work at night for me." And that's something I just kept trying to do, trying to do, trying to do and then finally I was like, "Look, you're not going to work out at night." And so that's when I started getting up in the mornings and I actually kind of had the epiphany that's really what time works best for me and I had to start going to bed earlier and I started with twice a week actually. I was doing Mondays and Wednesdays only and that felt very realistic for me. And when things did get hard, I would say, "You know what? It's just two mornings a week. Like you, you can do this. It is just two mornings a week." And then when I felt ready, which is about two months after I started, I added in Friday mornings and now that's going really good. And we're going to add in a cardio, just a cardio session. And yeah. So, and that's just, that's really how habits form, right? Like that's so boring. But you scale up as you solidify new skills and habits, then you can add in something else and something else. And then all of a sudden you're living it and you're going, "Oh, this is happening and I'm doing the thing." Annie: I'm doing the thing. Jen: Yeah. Annie: Or the things. So to recap thus far, willpower and motivation is not what keeps most "successful people" going. It's their habits. And the next kind of layer I want to add on to that, which we've already touched on, is that your habits are highly influenced by your environment. And I want to share this study, I think we've shared it before, but really quickly, this is again, something inspired from James Clear shared before, but they did this study of soda and water consumption in hospital. And what they did was they let people choose their soda and their water consumption for two weeks, three weeks, whatever. They collected the data on the sales of each. After three weeks they added, they didn't change anything about the soda. They added water to different locations, more convenient locations throughout the hospital cafeteria. So again, all they changed was made water more available. And as a result, water sales increased and soda sales decreased. And I think that's just such a simple example of how impactful your environment can be on your habits. They didn't say, they didn't promote or push the water or give any marketing about how soda was "bad or harmful" and water was better. They simply just offered it in more places. And people are like, "Oh, there's water. I'll take a water now." Jen: Totally. So in my house, Oh boy, we talk about this all the time. My veggie tray. Annie: Yes. Yes. Jen: So fruits and vegetables are often things that people struggle to get enough in. And you have to make them convenient and part of your environment. One way I do this is one, I buy bagged salads and I just kind of have no shame around that when my salads are pretty much prepped for me, I'm eating them and enjoy them, but I am just not going to start from scratch every single meal to create a salad. That's a lot of work. And or maybe, maybe it's not a lot, but it's too much for me. And a second is I make a veggie tray every, that's kind of part of my meal prep. On Sundays I make a Veggie tray. I've got like an old one of those old Tupperware ones. I make a Veggie tray and then I'm usually restocking it by Wednesday morning. And I bring that out for most meals, lunch and supper for me, my kids. And I also pull from it when I'm packing lunches for my kids school lunches. And I keep all our fruit, most of our fruit, if it doesn't have to be refrigerated, I have it on the counter in just a little fruit basket and we go through fruit like crazy around here. But I have made fruits and vegetables very, I have put my energy into making those two things very accessible and then I don't have to think about it during the week. It just happens naturally. And that's what we're trying to say here, right? Annie: Yeah. And I think the other aspect to that is visual cues are really, really important. So because when you open up your fridge, you see the Veggie tray and it's, like, there. Jen: It's there. It's right at eye level. It's not tucked, you know, it's not tucked away. It's not in the back. I don't have my vegetables tucked in the drawers and the bottom. It's like right there. Annie: Exactly. I even remember you talking about, which you've seen my Instagram videos, you know, my kitchen also houses my dumbbells and kettlebells. But, but you did the same thing too, you were like, look, I'm not getting in a lot of movement and I want to, and it would be simple to incorporate some kettlebell swings, but in order for me to actually do that, I need the kettle bell in my kitchen. So every time you walked by it, so you ended up doing, you know what, 10 swings a handful of times throughout the day. Jen: Yeah. So yeah, so I have a big round Moved Nat yoga mat off my kitchen island. There's kind of just a space off my kitchen that's just blank space. I know not everybody will be able to find a space, but there's other ways to do it. But anyway, sorry, I have this huge round Yoga Mat. The boys use it to sit and play cars on or they sit on it and read. But I also use it, like, it's just there. So if I feel like doing some movement, whether it's getting on the ground and doing some glute bridges or pushups or whatever, my mat is right there and I don't have to go on my gross floors. But, and then I also have just, you know, I have my garage gym,, but I have one kettlebell that I keep up in the kitchen and it's kind of on the lighter end, but I can do, you know, I can do lots of things with it in my kitchen and I, yeah, I see it and I'll do it right. Which I know it sounds silly, but if I'm waiting for water to boil on the stove, I'll go over and do a couple of kettlebell swings or a couple of pushups or, yeah. And I mean that just works well for me. I'm not saying it'll work for everybody, but it just works well for me. And other people might find benefit in having a yoga mat in their living room and some weights, you know, beside the TV. And so when they're watching TV, they might just feel like, yeah, I could get down on the floor, do some bridges, some presses, some, you know, some yoga stretches, anything, right? Because if it's, but it's just about looking at your environment and say, how does my environment support more of what I want in it? And then on the flip side of that, which we talked about with Traci Mann, is how can I put small barriers in place between me and things that I want less of in my life. So for me, I keep, like all our nuts and seeds and chocolates, like really high calorie, high energy foods. I keep a lot of those above my fridge in the cupboard and then I don't, I can't see them. There's no visual cue to eat them. I'm having them when I want them, right. When I think of them and want them and reach for them. Annie: Right. And then you know that if I want them it's because I actually want them, not just because I see them and then I want them, which is like marketing 101. We think that we're in control. We think we're like making the choice. But a lot of times it's like the power of suggestion. Like I've said it before, my kids don't want the Goldfish at Target until they see the Goldfish at Target, at the end cap. Jen: It's why grocery stores put all that stuff right at the checkout. Right? All the trashy magazines, all the indulgent foods, like the chocolate bars, they put it there because they know you're going to be standing there awhile, waiting at the checkout and you're just more likely to grab it the longer you're standing there. Annie: Right. And the other thing about habits too is that, habits and your environment is that we often have a set of habits per the location we're in. So if you think about the habits you have in your bedroom, the habits you have in your kitchen, the habits you have in your, in the gym, the habits you have in a grocery store, you probably grocery shop the same path every time. You have your routine, right? You like grab your produce, you move to meats or whatever it is. Same thing with the gym. You walk to the same space every time, you put your bag down, you go use the same equipment, you probably have a favorite treadmill or a favorite squat rack or whatever. The thing is important to know is that it can be easier to change habits in a new environment. So if possible, like I'm not saying go out and buy a new house, but could you rearrange your furniture so maybe, or take a TV out of your bedroom or rearrange your furniture so it's not facing the TV and it's more conducive to reading or whatever habit you're trying to change. Or put a kettle bell in your kitchen or go to a different grocery store. Like would your shopping- Jen: Rearrange up cupboards or, yeah. Annie: Yeah. You don't have to like completely like burn everything down and start from new. But can you think outside the box of how your environment shapes your habits? Like even, James Clear, and I'm guilty of this, was talking about your environment should have a purpose. So, you know, he was working at his kitchen island. But he also wants to eat in his kitchen. And then it's kind of like, there was no boundary. That's like, now I'm working, now I'm eating, I'm eating and I'm working. So he created a new small environment out of his bedroom for an office or whatever. And like that's his work. When he's working, when he's there, he's working. When he's in his kitchen, he's eating and you know, on and so forth. So- Jen: I just- Annie: Go ahead. Jen: I posted about this in Balance365 a couple of months ago. I totally had that epiphany in the wintertime when it was chilly out, I started working at my kitchen table near the fire instead of my office. And I started snacking more and more and more. And then one day I realized, it's because you're just staring at the kitchen all day. You're just staring at the cupboard, staring at the kitchen and you're just triggered to go grab something to eat. Right. And so I moved back down to my office and that problem is gone. I'm not snacking between breakfast and lunch anymore. Annie: Right. Jen: And it's crazy, right? You think, you know, you think this comes to motivation and willpower again, but you just can't believe how much your environment influences your choices. Right. And again, my goal is not perfection. My goal is balance. So I'm not like saying take all the treats out of your cupboards and all of that. I feel like I have an appropriate amount of treats in my house stored in a space that aligns with the goal I have of balance, right. Annie: Right, right. Yeah. And I think that it's, you know what all of this really boils down to for me and I'm assuming for you is that self control and willpower and motivation can work in the short term. They can be a great short term strategy. And I wouldn't want anyone listening to this to think I'm super motivated, but I somehow have to like contain that motivation or pull back from that motivation because I don't want to like misstep or whatever. Like, no, if you're motivated to do something, you can follow that. Like you can explore it. It's not that it's a bad thing, but the point is, is that a better, in our experience, a better long term strategy for reaching goals boils down to habits and environment. Jen: Right. I don't, sometimes I feel super motivated to go for an extra run or walk or I do an extra workout. But another thing I just want to note is you don't want to, when you're feeling motivated, that's not where you want to set your bar, right? Like you don't, you know, some weeks I have my baseline habits, say, like my three workouts a week and that's just kinda my minimum at this point. I miss the odd one. We just took two weeks off, actually, me and my workout partner and that's all good. We're right back to our three times a week. But the odd time when I feel like an extra run or I feel like an extra workout, I don't bring my bar up there. I don't say, okay, now I'm at five times. I just, you know what, I recognize it as a week, even a month sometimes where I had a burst of energy and I utilize that and that felt great, but I don't bring my bar up there. I just recognize. Annie: Yes. It was just a bonus. Jen: I just feel motivated. Yeah. It was just a bonus. Annie: Yeah. That's great. This is good. I hope that this helps clear up a lot of the questions that we get about willpower and also helps reduce some of the shame and guilt that people might be experiencing if they don't feel those emotions or if they don't feel like they have those traits or those characteristics innately, and then, because I think I, you know, just on a personal note, I think people think that I am motivated, for example, to go to the gym three, four times a week or five times a week. I'm not. Like Jen said, like, there's days where I'm like, "Eh, I don't know." Like I'll text my girlfriend, it's like, "I need you to talk me into this." Jen: Right. Annie: Or "This is workout really doesn't look fun. I don't think I can do this," but it falls back to habits. I dropped my kids off at school, I'd go to the gym and if I can just get my kids in the car, I know that that trigger loop or that habit loop has started with my trigger of getting kids to school. And I know the rest will just fall in naturally thanks to habits. Jen: Yes. And I do think it is really key too, I don't think a lot of people do this and I think it's such a great thing to do is to stop, pause, especially if you've gone through any life transition, like had a baby, changed jobs, moved and think about where you can decrease the decisions you're making in the day. So my nighttime routine consists of, you know, washing my face, brushing my teeth, getting my workout clothes out, putting them right beside the bathroom sink so that when I get up in the morning, the first thing I do is get dressed. I get my coffee pot out, the coffee out. So you know, so just in the mornings, I just, I don't have to think. I just get up and do, and then I head down to the gym. Annie: That's great. Awesome. If you want to continue the conversation on willpower and motivation, come to our free private Facebook group with our Healthy Habits Happy Moms on Facebook. Jen, Lauren and I are in there frequently along with some really, really rad community members that have been around for a while and have great contributions, so we hope to see in there. Jen: Yes. Annie: Alright, thanks, Jen. Jen: Bye, Annie. Annie: Bye. Bye. This episode is brought to you by the Balance365 program. If you're ready to say goodbye to quick fixes and false promises and yes to building healthy habits and a life you're 100% in love with, then checkout Balance365.co to learn more.
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| 19 Jun 2024 | Episode 329: Q+A - How Do I Stop My Nighttime Snacking Habit? | 00:07:05 | |
Episode OverviewToday, we’re answering a listener's question that many of us can relate to: "How do I stop nighttime snacking? I do great all day, but when 8 PM hits, it's a non-stop munchfest until bed." In this episode we uncover the root causes of this common habit and discuss how shifting your nutrition choices earlier in the day can help set you up for success. If this episode strikes a chord, you need our Balanced Meal Guide. Learn how to create meals that will leave you feeling full and satisfied all day long. Key Points
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| 08 Mar 2023 | Episode 262: Q+A - I’m Doing Everything But Still Not Losing Weight | 00:16:13 | |
Episode OverviewThis week we have another Q+A for you! Someone in our group has quit dieting and started focusing on sustainable behavior change, BUT she’s not seeing any progress toward her weight loss goals. What should she do? Join us as we discuss the importance of understanding your relationship with food and your body, *and* learning to manage your mindset and expectations when you commit to ending the diet cycle. This woman is SO close to finding the peace and freedom she deserves, and we hope you are, too! This episode will certainly help you stay the course. If you love this episode, we know you would love our free private Facebook group even more. Come ask us any health and wellness-related questions and then join us live once a week as we answer all of them. See you there! Key Points
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| 07 Jul 2021 | Episode 175: The Truth About Intermittent Fasting | 00:33:02 | |
Episode Overview Intermittent fasting has gained a lot of popularity in recent years, but is it really as effective as everyone says? Does it actually lead to sustainable weight loss? We decided it was time to sit down and give you the straight facts about intermittent fasting and why it may or may not be the best approach for weight loss or better health. And don’t forget! We have a free resource for you to download now: 5 Reasons You're Craving Sugar. Click the link to get it sent straight to your inbox and start learning how to manage your sugar cravings today! Key Points
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| 07 Sep 2022 | Episode 236: Divorce, Dating, and Body Image | 00:57:45 | |
Episode OverviewToday’s the day! In this episode, you’re going to hear Annie unpack her recent divorce, dating, and body image experiences. Come listen to how she worked through some lingering body image issues after her 15-year relationship ended and she re-entered the dating world. And! In just 10 days, Jen and Annie are hosting a BRAND NEW free training on one of our community’s biggest struggles. It’s called Nighttime Eating: Why You Do It and How to Stop. This training will be a live virtual event the evening of September 15th and we would LOVE to see you there! Click here to sign up for free! Key Points
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| 28 Oct 2019 | Episode 89: The Fitness And Wellness Industry: The Good, The Bad And The Unhealthy | 00:59:39 | |
What happens when industry professionals are struggling with their own relationships around food and fitness? Professionals working in the health and wellness industry are often seen as experts and are expected to exemplify health. Jen, Annie and Lauren get real about the dark side of the fitness and wellness industry.
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| 28 Feb 2024 | Episode 313: Q+A - Does the Number of Meals I Eat in a Day Matter for Fat Loss? | 00:05:00 | |
Episode OverviewHave you ever wondered how many meals a day is best for fat loss? In today’s bite-sized Q+A, we answer this common question as well as have a discussion about what actually works for fat loss, for the long term. If you’re ready to start your weight loss journey, do not miss your chance to join Balance365 Coaching! We open enrollment on March 18th. Join the waitlist now and get priority access before the general public AND save $199! Key Points
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| 20 Nov 2024 | Episode 351: How Kaisu Changed Her Mindset, Gained a World of Confidence, and Lost 40lbs with Balance365 | 00:44:02 | |
Episode OverviewHi everyone! We have a heartfelt Member Spotlight for you today. We are thrilled to introduce Kaisu, one of our international members from Finland, who has experienced a remarkable transformation since joining Balance365. After years of sitting on the sidelines, Kaisu took the leap and joined our program, leading to a 40-pound weight loss, increased confidence, and some major mindset shifts. But as you'll hear, her biggest takeaway isn't just about weight loss – it's about becoming a confident and empowered woman. Join us as Kaisu shares how she developed healthier habits, overcame emotional eating, and learned to trust herself through the process. You won’t want to miss this inspiring story of self-discovery and growth. And, as Kaisu says in this episode, don't wait seven years to join like she did! Jump into Balance365 now during our Black Friday sale. You can get all the details right here and start your transformation today! Key Points
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| 24 Feb 2021 | Episode 156: 4 Beliefs That Make Weight Loss Difficult | 00:12:06 | |
Episode Overview You're trying to lose weight and feel like you're doing everything right, yet you still aren't seeing any progress. What gives? Well, it's often what we believe about weight loss that can determine if we succeed or not in reaching our goals. In today's episode, Annie shares some of the common beliefs that women have about weight loss that are actually holding them back from seeing results. Tune in to learn how you can shift your focus, create new beliefs, and start seeing weight loss success! We've also got something exciting coming up! In less then two weeks Jen and Annie are hosting a FREE three-part workshop called 3 Steps to End Emotional Eating (and Stop Self-Sabotage!). You can sign up here. Key Points
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| 03 Nov 2021 | Episode 192: Weight Loss Nutrition: How Annie Lost 60lbs | 00:31:55 | |
Episode OverviewIf you’ve ever asked someone what they’ve eaten to lose weight, or tried copying someone else’s diet in hopes that it would help you reach your own goals, Annie’s got some hard-hitting advice for you today. In this podcast, Annie shares a bit of her story and explains why asking her what she ate is the wrong question to be asking! Instead, she shares HOW she ate and how these habits lead to a 60-pound weight loss. It’s these kinds of actions that can actually help you reach your goals, too, so come listen. We hope you love it! If you’re interested in learning more about the habits and mindset work that Annie used to reach her weight loss goals, we invite you to attend our upcoming free workshop: Cut the Crap: How to Simplify Weight Loss and Get Out of Your Own Way. We’ll be going live with you all to deliver a little real talk, a little tough love, but best of all, help you clear out all the clutter you have about weight loss, nutrition, exercise…. and SIMPLIFY your process. REGISTER HERE FOR FREE TO RESERVE YOUR SPOT! Key Points
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TranscriptDownload a copy of this episode’s transcript here. | |||
| 03 Jul 2019 | Episode 73: What An Obesity Specialist Wants You To Know About Weight Loss | 00:40:05 | |
If you look at some of the research and the studies behind people's ability to keep weight off in the long term, it seems pretty gloomy. The good news is that Dr. Yoni Freedhoff, a Canadian doctor and expert in weight loss and obesity management, believes there’s still good reason to be optimistic. | |||
| 02 Nov 2022 | Episode 244: 3 Tips to Stay on Track During the Holidays | 00:46:31 | |
Episode OverviewThe holidays are upon us! For many, this tends to be a challenging stretch of time where we start to see our healthy habits slip, or even disappear entirely. Is there a better way to navigate this season while keeping our healthy habits going strong? We say YES. Join Annie and Holea as they discuss how to identify common mindset issues that can derail your healthy habits, and provide tips on approaching the holidays in a way that feels good to you. Enjoy! But before you click play, come register for our upcoming free workshop: Cut the Crap: How to Simplify Weight Loss and Get Out of Your Own Way. Come learn how to get out of the self-sabotage cycle and, of course, what really works when it comes to reaching your goals and sustaining your results! Key Points
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| 30 Nov 2022 | Episode 248: 5 Tips to Get Started with Balance365 Fat Loss Foundations | 00:23:28 | |
Episode OverviewHi, everyone! We’re back this week with a very helpful guide for all of our new Balance365 Fat Loss Foundations members! This episode does not just get you started, but also keeps you on track and helps you anticipate what’s to come, so don’t miss it! If you want even more support, accountability, and camaraderie on your journey, make sure you join the waitlist to enroll in Balance365 Coaching. Enrollment opens in January to the waitlist only. That means if you aren’t on the list, you won’t get notified! Join the waitlist today! Key Points
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TranscriptDownload a copy of this episode’s transcript here. | |||
| 23 Sep 2020 | Episode 135: You Know What To Do… Why Don’t You Do It? | 00:52:12 | |
“I know what to do. But...why don’t I do it?” You’d be surprised at how often we hear this inside of our community. The real question is: you know what you want, but HOW do you take action, and keep taking action? In this episode Jen and Annie break down the five stages of change women cycle through, and what to avoid to keep from feeling stuck and unable to commit to habit change. Also… Stick around to the end to listen in on a coaching session as Jen coaches Annie through her ambivalence towards a super common habit struggle. Come be social with us! Balance365 Facebook: Weight Loss Without Restriction Balance365 Instagram: @balance365life | |||
| 12 Feb 2020 | Episode 100: Highlights From The Past Three Years | 00:51:34 | |
We can’t believe it’s here - our 100th episode! In this episode, we are taking you on a trip down memory lane, complete with clips of our favorite, tears, and most-shared episodes. (We had a hard time paring it down to just a few, so make sure to go and listen to past episodes.) You’ll hear clips from some amazing guests and nuggets of wisdom, plus, a Balance365 Life Radio goof for the ages.
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| 27 Jul 2022 | Episode 230: 3-Part Exercise Series (Exercise 101) | 01:01:47 | |
Episode OverviewToday we’re kicking off a three-part series on exercise (Annie’s favorite topic!). Over the years we’ve worked with many women who feel lost and confused when it comes to exercise. So, over the next three weeks, we’ll provide you with an overview of exercise, break down some of the most common myths, and tell you exactly what to do if your goal is to get stronger. Today, in part one of this series, we give you some foundational knowledge about exercise that will make everything else we talk about in this series make much more sense. Don’t skip it! PS—If you love this podcast, don’t forget to share it with a friend and leave a review! We read each and every review, and they help us reach more women who can benefit from some Balance365 love in their lives. Key Points
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TranscriptDownload a copy of this episode’s transcript here. | |||
| 07 Jun 2023 | Episode 275: 5 Tips to Get More Fruits and Vegetables into Your Diet | 00:36:21 | |
Episode OverviewToday we’re kicking off the first part of a brand new “how-to” series! Last week we discussed quite a few evidence-based nutrition recommendations for women, specifically menopausal women. But if there’s anything we’ve learned as nutrition coaches for the last eight years, we know that knowing WHAT to eat for health and weight loss is different from actually putting it into practice. So today, we’re discussing tried-and-true methods to help you actually DO IT, not just talk about it! Eating more fruits and veggies might sound basic and simple, but it’s something that we find almost all of our new Balance365 members can benefit from, so this episode is for everyone! If you loved this episode, and are ready to pursue your weight loss goals in more simple, sustainable ways, check out our free course, Cut the Crap: How to Simplify Weight Loss and Get Out of Your Own Way. It's packed with actionable tips and advice that you can start implementing today. It’s available on-demand, so you can work through it at your own pace! Key Points
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| 04 Jan 2023 | Episode 253: Katie’s Shift From Intuitive Eating to Balance365, Finding Peace, & Losing 20lbs | 00:58:36 | |
Episode OverviewLike many women, Katie couldn’t understand why health, wellness and weight loss eluded her. She tried many different approaches in her life from fad diets to Intuitive Eating but could never find the success she was looking for. When Katie stumbled across Balance365, she thought “this is it.” Now, for the first time in her life, Katie is on a trajectory she feels excited about. She’s honing in on her hunger and satiety cues, is smashing goals in and out of the gym, and she’s lost 20 pounds. Best of all, she feels confident this approach is sustainable for life. Don’t miss this incredible episode! If you’re ready to get out of the endless cycle of dieting and on a path you’re confident with, then it’s time to join Balance365. On January 16th, our life-changing nutrition coaching program opens to the public for enrollment. Add your name to the waitlist for early-access to spots and to save $199 off the general public price. Get on our waitlist now! Key Points
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| 24 Jul 2019 | Episode 76: Balance And Food Freedom: Megan's Story | 00:31:40 | |
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| 31 Jan 2024 | Episode 309: 4 Reasons You Struggle to Maintain Your Weight Loss Results | 00:26:38 | |
Episode OverviewIn today’s episode, we share four common reasons we see women struggle to maintain their weight loss results. From abrupt stops to slow fades in lifestyle changes, we'll uncover why so many people experience weight rebounds. Join us to learn about the challenges of maintaining results. It's not just about weight loss but building a sustainable, flexible approach. Let's dive in! But, before you hit play–for more support, accountability, and camaraderie on your journey, make sure you join the waitlist to enroll in Balance365 Coaching. You’ll be the first to be notified when we open our doors again. Join the waitlist today! Key Points
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| 19 Jul 2023 | Episode 281: Where to Start with Weight Loss When You're Overwhelmed | 00:49:55 | |
Episode OverviewIt is not uncommon to experience intense feelings of overwhelm when you begin anything new, especially when approaching a weight loss journey. It can arise at any stage, but we often see it right at the beginning. While there is a genuine desire for change, the mere thought of starting can flood anyone with extreme thoughts and feelings that ultimately keep them feeling stuck (or even quitting entirely). In today's podcast episode, we slow things down and walk you through the process of navigating feelings of overwhelm when you’re starting a weight loss journey. We hope you leave this episode with a new perspective and have some new tools for being able to take continued, consistent action. While you’re here, do not miss our FREE 3-part workshop that is now available on-demand: Cut the Crap: How to Simplify Weight Loss and Get Out of Your Own Way. This short course cuts through the BS and shows you exactly how you can stop overcomplicating the process and start moving toward your goals. Sign up right now! Key Points
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| 15 Mar 2023 | Episode 263: The Importance of a Beginner’s Mindset | 00:44:45 | |
Episode OverviewToday we’re going to be talking about the importance of cultivating a beginner’s mindset *even* when you think you’re an expert at something. This is a HUGE shift that can transform your behavior change journey. It might even be the key to getting yourself unstuck and on a path you’re excited about! Both Jen and Annie have had to examine this area recently and know this is a crucial topic that women need to hear. Let’s do this! On that note, what if you stopped passively listening to this podcast, believing that you “should” be able to do this on your own? Step into the arena with us! Get the structure, support, and accountability you need and deserve. Our coaching program opens up for enrollment again in May, and we would love to see you there. Hop on the waitlist right now. Key Points
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| 20 Dec 2023 | Episode 303: Q+A - Why Can’t I Stop Thinking About Food? | 00:10:49 | |
Episode OverviewToday, we’re tackling a fantastic question from one of our listeners: "Why do I think about food all day?" In this short episode, we get right to the point. We break down the four most common reasons why we see women caught in an endless loop of food thoughts and how to break free. Enjoy! If you love our Q+As, just wait until you work with us! Join our waitlist today to get personalized coaching from our world-class coaches. Enrollment opens soon! Sign up here. Key Points
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| 06 Jan 2021 | Episode 149: Member Spotlight - How Phaedra’s Mindset Shift Led To A 30lb Weight Loss | 00:36:38 | |
You are in for a treat today, friends! In this episode, we’re interviewing a super special Balance365 member from eastern Canada! Phaedra is an incredibly kind, compassionate woman who is SO supportive of all the members in our community. She’s also a mom, a full-time therapist, and she’s lost (and kept off) 30lbs with the Balance365 program. Like many of our guests Phaedra shares that she didn’t lose weight because she made it the focal point of her life…. Rather she opened herself up to a whole different perspective: the Balance365 program. In this episode you will not only hear the details of Phaedra’s journey, you will learn that what she values most are the mindset shifts and insights into her health. Are you in? Balance365 Coaching opens up for a select number of women January 8th. Get on the waitlist so you can claim a spot before they’re gone! | |||
| 25 Oct 2023 | Episode 295: Coaching Sessions - Unpacking Annie’s Sweet Treat Cravings | 00:45:53 | |
Episode OverviewWelcome back to another Balance365 coaching session! This time, Annie is in the spotlight to discuss a recent surge in her sweet treat consumption. Annie started this session unsure if this was even something she wanted to change– and that’s fine! This is a stage of change called ambivalence, and it’s where many of our members are when seeking coaching. In today’s session, Annie asked Jen to help her figure out why she was indulging more frequently and if she wanted to do anything about it. Join Annie and Jen for this candid chat as they hone in on Annie’s cravings and uncover what's really going on underneath it all. For the past couple of weeks, we’ve given you a small taste of what it’s like inside Balance365. Loving what you hear? Don’t miss your chance to work with us! Get your name on our waitlist today so you can access your spot 24 hours early and save $199. Key Points
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TranscriptDownload a copy of this episode’s transcript here. | |||
| 06 May 2020 | Episode 116: Why Weight Loss Plans Fail Parents | 00:30:06 | |
Are you a busy parent who’s finding it impossible to stick to your diet? Do you struggle with weight loss now more than any other time in your life? Do you feel frustrated your family won’t get on board with your changes? We hear you. Change can be hard to implement, and even harder when you have other people and schedules to work around. In this podcast we discuss 3 reasons weight loss plans fail parents and offer some food for thought on what other opportunities exist for you to reach your health, wellness and weight loss goals. | |||
| 25 May 2022 | Episode 221: 3 Ways Summer Sabotages Your Goals (And What You Can Do) | 00:40:28 | |
Episode OverviewToday, we’re covering the main ways we see summer sabotaging people’s goals and how they can approach it a bit differently. Many feel summer is a catalyst for getting off track with their goals, often followed by panic to get BACK on track in the fall. And we don’t want that for you! We want you to feel calm and capable in whatever health or weight loss journey you might be on! If you want to find ways to keep moving toward your goals this summer, don’t miss this episode! And if you want to kick off your summer with a simpler and clearer framework for health, wellness, and weight loss, join our Fat Loss Foundations course! Click here to learn more. Key Points
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