Adoption, Fostering & Tea: The New Family Social Podcast (New Family Social)

We talk about the decisions and thoughts behind adopting a sibling group.

Text KIDS to 70490 to give a one-off donation of £10 to help children in care find their forever families with LGBT+ families. Listeners outside the UK can make a donation through our website https://newfamilysocial.org.uk/Donation-Landing Thank you so much.

Graham and John have been fostering their child, who initially came to them for a weekend, for almost decade.  They talk about how they supported their child through the uncertainty about his future and how they're delighted he's with them permanently.

Adam and Brian adopted a pair of siblings seven years ago and another pair this week. Their children are now 13, 10, 6 and 3. Just days into their life as a family of six, they talk about their hopes and fears and how they're drawing on their experience as parents to support their new children.

John is the sole parent of two children ages 5 and 8.  For the last couple of years he's done filial therapy with them which is a type of play therapy delivered by parents/carers.  He talks about how it helps his children to communicate feelings they don't have words for.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filial_therapy

Harry talks candidly about recovering from post adoption depression in this honest and uplifting episode.

Text KIDS to 70490 to give a one-off donation of £10 to help children in care find their forever families with LGBT+ families. Listeners outside the UK can make a donation through our website https://newfamilysocial.org.uk/Donation-Landing Thank you so much.

Leon talks about becoming a dad and being a role model for others.  Listen to his story and follow him on Instagram @lots_andlotsoflove

Text KIDS to 70490 to give a one-off donation of £10 to help children in care find their forever families with LGBT+ families. Listeners outside the UK can make a donation through our website https://newfamilysocial.org.uk/Donation-Landing Thank you so much.

We chat with DJ about contact with birth siblings

Text KIDS to 70490 to give a one-off donation of £10 to help children in care find their forever families with LGBT+ families. Listeners outside the UK can make a donation through our website https://newfamilysocial.org.uk/Donation-Landing Thank you so much.

Chris and his husband adopted their young son when he was 17 months old.  On the first night at home, he had serious breathing difficulties and was taken to hospital in an ambulance.  Chris talks about the doctors trying to figure out what was wrong while Chris tried to comfort his new child, who had only been with him for a few hours

Hope fostered with her wife, adopted one of their children, then got divorced.

Text KIDS to 70490 to give a one-off donation of £10 to help children in care find their forever families with LGBT+ families. Listeners outside the UK can make a donation through our website https://newfamilysocial.org.uk/Donation-Landing Thank you so much.

Ash and John talk about adoption journey, having both been adopted themselves.  Ash explains how he was adopted and has no details of his birth family.  John tells how he was given up for adoption after his birth mother was sexually assaulted.  John and his older half-brother were adopted together.  John tells how his foster family made introductions difficult, but his mother was determined to adopt him and his brother.  Ash shares how in the culture he was raised, adoption wasn’t spoken about, but his extended family all knew that he and his sister were adopted. 

Aaron and Adam are counting down to their panel.  They share how their experience has been smooth, thanks to their social worker.  Aaron explains that big life events, which had happen to both of them, were positives when it came to assessment because they showed their resilience and demonstrated that the couple knew how to deal with traumatic events.  They talk about how the process helped them to better understand each other's approach to the adoption and how it highlighted each other’s strengths. 

Yannick and his partner had a fast and smooth journey adopting their five-year-old child, who's been with them for a month.  He talks about activity days and why it's important to be assertive in the process.

How training and support can help to overcome attachment difficulties.

Text KIDS to 70490 to give a one-off donation of £10 to help children in care find their forever families with LGBT+ families. Listeners outside the UK can make a donation through our website https://newfamilysocial.org.uk/Donation-Landing Thank you so much.

Lee and John adopted their son three years ago when he was two.  They talk about preparing for transracial adoption; the things they got right and the mistakes they made.  They also talk about how the first six weeks were difficult but overall their journey has been joyful.

• Why I'm No Longer Talking To White People About Race (Book) by Reni Eddo-Lodge Buy from Waterstones
• White Fragility (Book)  by Robin DiAngelo Buy from Waterstones
• Colin in Black and White (Netflix) Watch on Netflix (account required)
• The Cultural Iceberg - https://www.researchgate.net/figure/Edward-T-Halls-Cultural-Iceberg_fig2_361162662

Guy adopted siblings aged four and six.  They're now almost adults and he talks about their journey through education and what steps are available to them next.  Guy runs an event called Step Up Expo which showcases the choices available to young people over 16.

link to step up expo

Michael and Matthew adopted a son and, four weeks later, found out another baby was on the way.

We talk with Andrew and Brian about the chance to adopt their child's younger brother.

Text KIDS to 70490 to give a one-off donation of £10 to help children in care find their forever families with LGBT+ families. Listeners outside the UK can make a donation through our website https://newfamilysocial.org.uk/Donation-Landing Thank you so much.

Chris and his husband are fostering-to-adopt a baby despite not having intended to take that route.  Chris talks about why they were initially put off by the uncertainty foster-to-adopt brings.  He also talks about their plan to have ongoing direct contact with the child's birth family.

Lucy and Marie are in stage two with panel coming up soon.  They share how there have been some delays in stage one.  Marie was sure right from the start that she wanted siblings, being an only child, and because they felt that adopting siblings at the same time would help the children and mean they wouldn't have to go through the assessment process more than once.  They know they would like to adopt at least two but are open to adopting a bigger sibling group.  They have built a network of people that have adopted siblings and that has helped cement their decision. 

Adam and Aaron have been on the podcast twice before.  Since their last visit, they have been turned down as adopters for specific children several times and the rejection is taking its toll.  They talk frankly about losing confidence and the frustration of being turned down even when they thought they were a really good match.

Previous episodes

https://newfamilysocial.podbean.com/e/aaron-and-adam-return-with-good-news/ https://newfamilysocial.podbean.com/e/59-insert-title/

Andrew, one of England's first adopters in a same-gender relationship, talks to David, who's going through the application process now.

Text KIDS to 70490 to give a one-off donation of £10 to help children in care find their forever families with LGBT+ families. Listeners outside the UK can make a donation through our website https://newfamilysocial.org.uk/Donation-Landing Thank you so much.

We talk to Susan and Jane about adopting whilst serving in the military and their fertility treatment journey.

Text KIDS to 70490 to give a one-off donation of £10 to help children in care find their forever families with LGBT+ families. Listeners outside the UK can make a donation through our website https://newfamilysocial.org.uk/Donation-Landing Thank you so much.

New Family Social - Donation Landing

Applying to adopt and being matched with a child.  Jay and Thom chat about their experiences.

Text KIDS to 70490 to give a one-off donation of £10 to help children in care find their forever families with LGBT+ families. Listeners outside the UK can make a donation through our website https://newfamilysocial.org.uk/Donation-Landing Thank you so much.

Joseph is a dual heritage gay man who was adopted as a baby by white parents.  As an adult, with his white partner, he fostered and then adopted a dual heritage child.  Joseph talks about his experiences as an adoptee and a foster carer and adopter.

A link to Red Dust Road can be found here

Alex and his husband moved to the UK from Eastern Europe, built their support network through New Family Social and then adopted two boys.  The last 18 months have had highs and lows.  Alex talks about their journey, how they're dealing with a problem at school and how they keep in touch with their children's four siblings.

Today is the last day before Bradley and Stuart welcome their baby into their family.  They've already had playdates with the child but formal transitions start tomorrow and last a fortnight.  We talk about how they've prepared for parenthood (including the obligatory Ikea shopping spree!), what they think it'll be like to have a baby and how they'll handle personal questions.

Adoption delayed due to Covid-19 and legal wranglings.  Ralph and Charlie chat about their experiences.

Text KIDS to 70490 to give a one-off donation of £10 to help children in care find their forever families with LGBT+ families. Listeners outside the UK can make a donation through our website https://newfamilysocial.org.uk/Donation-Landing Thank you so much.

Raj and Paul adopted two boys when the social worker called to say the birth mum was pregnant again. 

Text KIDS to 70490 to give a one-off donation of £10 to help children in care find their forever families with LGBT+ families. Listeners outside the UK can make a donation through our website https://newfamilysocial.org.uk/Donation-Landing Thank you so much.

Dave is a single carer and has been fostering teenagers since he started fostering during Covid.  He talks about creating a low-conflict home in which they can thrive.  He also talks about how he manages behaviour which some people find challenging.

What does 'out' look like in different cultures?

Text KIDS to 70490 to give a one-off donation of £10 to help children in care find their forever families with LGBT+ families. Listeners outside the UK can make a donation through our website https://newfamilysocial.org.uk/Donation-Landing Thank you so much.

Myfanwy and Jay return to update us on their journey.  They share how supportive their son's school as been, putting in to place a number of provisions to help him.  One the of the scheme, called "thrive", worked well but has come to an end.  The school is continuing to put other provisions in place to help.  They share how sometimes it’s still difficult, but they have more strategies in place to help defuse difficult situations.  Jay explains the importance of picking the “right” school. 

Their previous episodes are 44 - The honeymoon period is over and 34 - When introductions go wrong...

Aubrey and his husband adopted siblings, aged nine and two, at the same time after meeting them at an activity day.  One year on, Aubrey talks about parenting with an age gap, helping an older child settle into a new family and new school, and how activities for the younger child benefit the older one.

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Leanne talks about building attachment with her two young children who were adopted together when they were one and two.

Henry and Duncan had their twins placed with they just weeks before the first lockdown. They experienced isolation and child-to-parent violence from their frightened and confused children.  They fought for support and found it really useful.  They now live abroad and are successfully raising their much-loved sons in a bilingual household.

As mentioned in the podcast:

The BUSS Model

Fiona and Margaret's sons are married to each other and have adopted three children. They talk about their delight at becoming grandparents by adoption, about supporting children with additional needs and about how much they love their grandchildren.

Molly and Zoe found their first adoption agency agency hard to work with and made the difficult decision to start again with a new agency.  The new agency was great and they're family finding now.  They gained childcare experience by volunteering at New Family Social's summer camp and they talk about what they learnt and how it helped them to realise they'd be able to parent children with more complex needs.

Adopting a four year old at the height of Covid-19 lockdown.

Text KIDS to 70490 to give a one-off donation of £10 to help children in care find their forever families with LGBT+ families. Listeners outside the UK can make a donation through our website https://newfamilysocial.org.uk/Donation-Landing Thank you so much.

Karl and his husband went through the adoption assessment process together but, within six months of their three children arriving and before the adoption order had been made, Karl's husband left and moved abroad.  Karl had to decide whether to continue as a lone parent or end the placement.  He talks about how he coped in the early days and how his ADHD gave him the strength and skills to carry on.

Ruby sits on adoption and fostering panels and shares her advice on what to expect and how you can join a panel.  

Text KIDS to 70490 to give a one-off donation of £10 to help children in care find their forever families with LGBT+ families. Listeners outside the UK can make a donation through our website https://newfamilysocial.org.uk/Donation-Landing Thank you so much.

Amber escaped a forced marriage and rebuilt her life.  She decided to adopt when she was 40 and talks about how adopting complements her spiritual beliefs.

Stuart and Simon adopted a brother and sister.  They talk about how they made the decision to adopt siblings and what it's been like.

Text KIDS to 70490 to give a one-off donation of £10 to help children in care find their forever families with LGBT+ families. Listeners outside the UK can make a donation through our website https://newfamilysocial.org.uk/Donation-Landing Thank you so much.

Sarah talks about adopting a daughter nine years after adopting her son.

Text KIDS to 70490 to give a one-off donation of £10 to help children in care find their forever families with LGBT+ families. Listeners outside the UK can make a donation through our website https://newfamilysocial.org.uk/Donation-Landing Thank you so much.

Geoff and his husband had a long journey to adoption but their young children have now been with them for three months.  Geoff talks about changing agency, a last-minute court appeal by the birth family, and what it's like in the very early days of parenting.

Eddie and his husband had a child place through early permanence who was returned to their birth family.  They went on to adopt two neurodivergent children and Eddie came to realise he also has ADHD.

Myfanwy and Jay talk about the foster carer trying to sabotage introductions.

Text KIDS to 70490 to give a one-off donation of £10 to help children in care find their forever families with LGBT+ families. Listeners outside the UK can make a donation through our website https://newfamilysocial.org.uk/Donation-Landing Thank you so much.

Lee is a solo transracial adopter of a child with additional needs.  He talks about navigating the complexities of "the system" when seeking support for her and about how excited he is about her future.

Tom and Arjay return to the podcast, just a year after adopting twin girls, to tell us they have a new baby.  Their previous podcast was "Tenacious little monsters!" https://newfamilysocial.podbean.com/e/tenacious-little-monsters/ . Just two weeks after their baby arrived, they're tired but delighted.

Sean (14), Rosa (11) and Zach (8), talk about adoption.  The older children are donor-conceived and their younger brother is adopted.

Text KIDS to 70490 to give a one-off donation of £10 to help children in care find their forever families with LGBT+ families. Listeners outside the UK can make a donation through our website https://newfamilysocial.org.uk/Donation-Landing Thank you so much.

Andrew and John adopted a baby with a rare form of cancer called neuroblastoma. Andrew talks about how they've all coped with the medical uncertainty and how they went on to adopt again.

John is a single foster carer in Scotland with a ten-year-old child permanently placed with him, a 16-year-old child temporarily placed and a crazy puppy. As someone who admits who knew next to nothing about children when he picked up a leaflet about fostering, he loves being a foster carer.

Text KIDS to 70490 to give a one-off donation of £10 to help children in care find their forever families with LGBT+ families. Listeners outside the UK can make a donation through our website https://newfamilysocial.org.uk/Donation-Landing Thank you so much.

New Family Social - Donation Landing

Anthony talks about adopting his two sons and how his family and friends reacted.

Text KIDS to 70490 to give a one-off donation of £10 to help children in care find their forever families with LGBT+ families. Listeners outside the UK can make a donation through our website https://newfamilysocial.org.uk/Donation-Landing Thank you so much.

Marie talks about her second match falling through and the search for her next child.

Text KIDS to 70490 to give a one-off donation of £10 to help children in care find their forever families with LGBT+ families. Listeners outside the UK can make a donation through our website https://newfamilysocial.org.uk/Donation-Landing Thank you so much.