We Read Movies (We Read Movies)

This week, we watched the 2019 movie Steam Room Stories: The Movie, based on the long running queerbait-y web series of the same name. When an evil cosmetics mogul (Tracy Lords) tries to take over a steam room that's also the legendary Fountain of Youth, it's up to five studs, as stupid as they are sexy, to save the day.

Topics discussed:

1. Boys Gone Wild
2. The "good" part of the dick
3. Wet t-shirt contests
4. Comedy
5. Porn parody names

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we watched the 2012 rom(?)-com(?) Love Or Whatever, the film that dared to ask the question, "can bi people be trusted?" And that also dares to answer the question, "no. They cannot." Also, it dares to ask the question, "what's Meredith from the Office been up?" And the answer to that question will shock you.

Topics discussed:

1. Rumplestiltskin's name
2. People who think puppets are people
3. How many sex positions are there, exactly?
4. The Same Girl song doesn't make any sense

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we talked about the 2017 movie Everything is Free. When Ivan, an American painter living in Colombia, is visited by his straight best friend, Cole, and Cole's supposedly straight younger brother, Christian, Ivan and Christian start confusingly falling in love. Also they meet a cult leader who worms his way into their house, but that doesn't really matter to the plot that much.

Topics discussed:

1. "Do you make me horny?"
2. Sex sounds
3. Chris names some nu metal bands he knows
4. Spit as lube
5. We used to think straight people existed
6. The Twilight Zone

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

It's every gay's favorite holiday, Halloween! So to get into the spooky spirit we watched the not-explicitly-gay-but-oh-so-gay horror movie Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge. Featuring several naked male butts, a very sexual shower death, and rubber play sheets, this is perhaps the gayest movie we've ever done.

Topics discussed:

1. What does Freddy Kruger's dick look like?
2. Birds are a weird pet to have
3. What exactly are Pokemon?
4. The sweatiest people in Hollywood

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, as a supplement to our episode on Stonewall, we had the incomparable Matt Baume on to talk to us about queer representation both before and after the Stonewall riots. Join us as we learn about the history of queer portrayals in media, from anti-gay propaganda films up to that time Archie Bunker met a trans woman

Links mentioned in this episode:

• https://www.youtube.com/c/mattbaume
• https://twitter.com/mattbaume?lang=en

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we watched the fourth and final (until we get that Kickstarter off the ground) movie in the Donald Strachey mysteries, Ice Blues. The most comprehensible and therefore the least fun of the series, it's also his least gay, but don't worry, we'll still find plenty to talk about, like how much killing a man with his bare hands seems to turn Strachey's husband on.

Topics discussed:

1. Why do bearer bonds exist?
2. What would you name your lawfirm?
3. This title doesn't make any sense
4. Pizza crime

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we watched the 2005 film Open Cam, which only served to reinforce for Chris that he's getting older and will someday die. A serial killer is stalking the streets of Washington DC, and specifically targeting the men in a DC based cam site, but don't worry because a mysterious gay detective (who may or may not be a ghost) is on the case. Will they figure out who did it before the audience does? Is the sex in this movie really happening? Why do all the dicks look so pixelated? Let's find out!

Topics discussed:

1. Holodeck-based sexual harassment
2. Sherry Pie schemes
3. Escort rates
4. The under-used 3rd Amendment
5. Mediterranean food

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we watched the 2011 time travel drama Judas Kiss. When failed director Zach agrees to judge a film competition at his old alma mater, he magically travels back in time and meets himself as a student. Does he have sex with himself? You bet he does. Does anything else happen? Let's find out!

Topics discussed:

1. Would you have sex with past you?
2. The unfortunate music of Brokencyde
3. Straights Ask the Darnedest Thing
4. Drew's dating history
5. How many time travel references can we make? Hint: it's a lot

Links mentioned in this episode:

• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-TH5ibABP4U

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

Happy Father's Day! If you thought we'd had enough of dad sex, you've clearly never found our internet search history, so this week we watched the 2008 movie Mulligans. Best friends Tyler and Chase come home for the summer but Chase soon finds that... well, it's not quite love, but he finds that he'd maybe give sex with Tyler's Dad a chance. Does it blossom into something beautiful? Will the family find out this dark secret? Did Chase bring his shower shot from college? Let's find out!

Topics discussed:

1. Would you have sex with someone's dad?
2. Cursed paintings
3. Reality dating shows
4. More reality dating shows
5. Horse names
6. Golf, I guess?

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we watched Is It Just Me? the first film by JC Calciano, and by far his worst. When sad sack Blaine finds out that he accidentally catfished Texas boy Xander, he'll have to reenact the movie The Truth About Cats and Dogs (but with a self-hating gay twist) if he wants to get the guy. Is love more important than looks? What if you're actually totally fine looking, and also if you've only known each other for like a day and a half?

Topics discussed:

1. Musicals about politicians
2. Gogo dancers
3. Why do people in movies play video games so fucking weird?
4. Chris describes a porno

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we watched the 2014 movie The Dark Place. When Keegan Dark (definitely a real person's name), a young guy with a perfect memory, comes home to find his estranged mother has remarried and his new step brother is a possibly murderous guy with an amazing body, he has to solve the mystery of what the hell is going on in this movie.

Topics discussed:

1. Wine snobbery
2. What if JK Simmons was in Fifty Shades of Gray
3. The lamest X-Men powers
4. The perfect crime
5. The least comprehensible crime
6. Step brother porn

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we talked about My Brother's Shoes, a wacky body-swap comedy where two brothers swap bodies and learn a little lesson about how hard it is to pump a baby into your ovulating sister-in-law when you're a gay guy inhabiting your straight brother's body.

Topics discussed:

1. A certain drag race alum's Nazi porn past
2. Freaky Friday body swaps vs Quantum Leap body swaps
3. Good drag names
4. Business
5. Why it's so hard to get gay sex right in a gay movie

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we watched Baby Steps, the sequel to the 2018's Say Yes, which you may remember from a past episode, is about a woman with cancer who decides to set up her husband and her twin brother. In the sequel, they're still together, and from beyond the grave, she's decided to interfere in their lives further, this time by telling them that she froze some eggs and they should have her baby. Oh, and also there's a DPing scene

Topics discussed:

1. Air Bud doesn't go to their school, though!
2. Prom themes
3. Open relationships with very stringent rules
4. Ghosts
5. Women in gay porn

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, fighting through technical difficulties, we talked about the 2013 film Hot Guys With Guns, about two ex boyfriends and wannabe private eyes who solve the crime of who robbed a bunch of Hollywood sex parties. The title is promising, can it live up to it? Probably not!

Topics discussed:

1. How poppers smell
2. Possums vs O'possums
3. Dr Jerkoff and Mr Hard
4. The right way to commit crimes
5. Justice

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we watched the 2018 movie anthology. No, not that Shadowlands... No, not that Shadowlands either... The other one. The gay one. Okay, well, they made a gay movie called Shadowlands and someone fucks a ghost in it. It's not surprising that you've never heard of it, but I promise you it's real. You can watch it on Tubi if you want, but don't bother, it wasn't good. Anyway, that's the movie we watched this week

Topics discussed:

1. Which painting would you have sex with?
2. Ghost sex
3. The mysterious death of Edgar Allan Poe
4. What do our dreams mean?

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, Mike and Kyle of Gayish are back to talk about Eating Out: All You Can Eat. The third in the Eating Out Series, this film features a brand new (mostly) cast of characters but the same old sexual trickery. But can it live up to the "second highest rating of the series" at 17%? Turns out, it can!

Topics discussed:

1. How much jizz is too much?
2. Appropriate eulogies
3. Cyber sex etiquette
4. Is it gay if it's in a threesome with two other dudes?
5. The ever deepening mystery of why Eric thinks people keep condoms in bathrooms in movies

Links mentioned in this episode:

• https://www.gayishpodcast.com/
• https://www.haveanicegay.com/

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we watched the 2005 rom-com Adam and Steve featuring Parker Posey and Chris Kattan (and starring two other people). We say rom-com, but there's not really any romance, nor is there any comedy. Instead, we're given confusing bits about family curses and a full performance of a song from the Sound of Music.

Topics discussed:

1. We watch a lot of tv shows and they're all more interesting to talk about than this movie
2. Hair in the 80's
3. 9/11
4. The hottest cowboys

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we watched the 2007 horror comedy The Gay Bed and Breakfast of Terror. Not nearly as campy as the title promised, this film follows five separate couples as they all get murdered by an evil slug boy and his creepy family. What is the story behind these monstrous murderers? Will anyone survive? Let's find out!

Topics discussed:

1. My neck, my backstories
2. What would you call a racist dog?
3. Who's Manfred?
4. Chris describes Underwear Snatchers

Links mentioned in this episode: https://www.snopes.com/news/2019/05/21/bathe-in-my-milk-photographs/

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we found a computer animated short called Flamingo Pride which is... bonkers. Join us as we lose our fucking minds trying to talk about it.

Topics discussed:

1. Flamingo sexuality
2. Straight birds
3. Why geese deserve to be in jail
4. Sonic the Hedgehog

Links mentioned in this episode:

• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTIHF2zst9w

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

After a brief hiatus, we're back, with the truly amazing bad movie Vampires: Brighter in Darkness. Vampires are real, y'all, and they're all gay, obviously. But otherwise they're not at all like the vampires you're used to. They can summon demon scorpions, and teleport, and hitch rides on the backs of airplanes, but mostly they just hiss at each other. They hiss so much.

Topics discussed:

1. Glen Powell's cannibalism story
2. What to do with $10 million
3. Pokemon again
4. AFI's hit song Miss Murder
5. Vampires, what are they exactly?

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

Everyone, this week's episode was tough on all of us. This movie doesn't make a bit of sense, and Eric may never forgive us for making him watch it. We watched the 2011 movie Somefarwhere, about a guy who goes to an unnamed Middle Eastern country to rescue his army boyfriend, and along the way gets tangled up in a plot not even the writer/director understands. Come along with us on this journey, but don't expect to understand it any better than we do

Topics discussed:

1. The Iraq-Pakistan border
2. Terrible stand-up comedy
3. Trying to intimidate someone in a room equipped with a clapper
4. No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service
5. The shocker
6. Everyone go watch the movie Society

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we watched the 2018 thriller Devil's Path. When two obvious lunatics meet on a cruising ground within a state park, each with their own secrets, they begin a deadly game of cat and mouse. Or, at the very least, they wander the woods for about an evening, yelling at each other about whether love exists or not. The movie doesn't make much sense, but, hey, at least it only an hour and 22 minutes long.

Topics discussed:

1. The name of the pokemon Muk
2. The efficacy of half a deck of Tarot cards
3. Cruising and the movie Cruising
4. Brother fucking, yay or nay?

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we watched the 2018 gay christian movie At the End of the Day, about a bigot who learns, through subterfuge and the power of love, to be slightly less bigotted. Featuring inappropriate pranks and even more inappropriate eating, the movie left us with a couple of questions, like "is this even a gay movie?"

Topics discussed:

1. What's Kyle's whole deal?
2. Why is Bruce a gay name?
3. The correct pronunciation of gif
4. Monster energy drink is not one of god's creations

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we watched the Shannen Doherty and Robert Gant gay spy thriller Kiss Me Deadly, produced for Here TV. Well, one of us did. The other two watched a straight-washed recut of this movie aired at appearing on other networks, and it takes us a really long time to figure out that we watched basically a different movie.

Topics discussed:

1. Eric is finally finished with Charmed
2. Why do people think allergies aren't real?
3. What exactly IS amnesia?
4. Everything should be part of the Kenny Kwon-iverse

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we watched the 2007 film Cthulhu, a very loose gay retelling of the HP Lovecraft story,The Shadow Over Innsmouth. With an ambitious story, over the top acting, some truly terrible wigs and Tori Spelling, how could it not be great?

Topics discussed:

1. Boxes full of hands
2. How many babies could you beat up?
3. More sexy Pokemon
4. The Cult of The Jerk Shack
5. Chris read the book and he's not gonna shut up about it
6. Spoilers, but Cthulhu never shows up

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we were joined by the incomparable Sean Paul Lockhart (Brent Corrigan if you're nasty) to talk about the 2011 featurette I Was a Teenage Werebear. A movie he was in! Guys, I'm geeking out over here.

Topics discussed:

1. Teen Beach Movies
2. Ron Jeremy's dick
3. Jockstrap diapers
4. And we get real about some stuff

Links mentioned in this episode:

• JUSTFOR.fans/brentcorrigan

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we talked for a solid three and a half hours about the 85 minute long movie A Wedding Most Strange, and then Chris painstakingly took out a bunch of weird tangents to cut it down to the length it is now. The movie was so very deeply and maniacally weird that it just broke our brains. Listen along to our descent into madness

Topics discussed:

1. Charmed
2. Cushion Fluffing
3. What we remember about Friends
4. Drag queens with the worst fashions
5. What if this movie starred the lead singer of The Cure?

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we watched Red Ribbon Blues, a 1996 HIV medication heist film starring Paul Mercurio, Lipsinka, Debi Mazar, and RuPaul, but don't get too excited by the cast because it's not very good. It does, however, introduce us to a certain cop named Detective Bones.

Topics discussed:

1. Air Bud as a cop
2. Batman villains are weird
3. What could these red ribbons mean
4. We're making an art wish list
5. The unfortunate history of the appetite suppressing chocolate called Ayds

Links mentioned in this episode:

• https://www.thirdplacebooks.com/event/duncan-robertson-visegrad-capitol-hill-cider
• https://www.amazon.com/Visegrad-Novel-Duncan-Robertson/dp/1734537930

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we talked about the short film Do We Really Have to Say Goodbye, a gay covid tale with a twist ending that's so short we padded it out with a list of movies Chris has cried at on planes. It's weirder than you think

Topics discussed:

1. Covid movies during covid
2. Movies Chris has cried at on planes
3. Speaking of planes, who gave Baloo the Bear flight technology?
4. Master Chef Junior

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we watched the 2012 movie D'Agostino, which bills itself as an gay movie, and which had us all sold the minute we saw the description in Tubi used the words "human clone." Is it one of the most wild movies we've ever talked about? Yes. Is it actually gay? Well.... Find out!

Topics discussed:

1. How long does it take to make a stew?
2. Eric references some pretentious theater
3. Reviews are out of control
4. Ahhhhhhhhhh!

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we watched the 2023 slasher movie Fire Island, not to be confused with the 2022 rom-com Fire Island. It may or may not be a sequel to past We Read Movies flick Last Ferry (it's not), and it may or may not even be a gay movie, but we have fun with it.

Topics discussed:

1. Sequel naming conventions
2. Magneto wasn't real
3. What straight people think drag is
4. Too much SVU?

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, the boys watched the 2010 film Bear City, a hairy, gay attempt at Sex and the City, that Chris has a lot of opinions about. Can a twink make it in bear's world? Can a bear make it in a twink's world? What if neither of those classifications applied and it was just a boring romantic comedy without jokes? Let's find out!

Topics discussed:

1. What makes a bear?
2. Chris's experiences at the Eagle
3. Editing down 3 hours of content
4. Jokes!
5. Shallowness and villainy

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we talked about the 2011 movie The Love Patient, about an awful man who fakes having cancer to get back with his ex who's in a much better place since they broke up. Will deception bring love? Will they land the big client at their ad agency? Will there be a weird pagan orgy in the middle for some reason? Let's find out!

Topics discussed:

1. Which Pokemon would you have sex with?
2. Cooking naked
3. Christmas presents
4. What exactly is the replicator on Star Trek using to make food?
5. The right way to pretend you have cancer for love and profit

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, Chris Haigy, Drew McFadden and Eric Henke watched the 2011 romantic (?) comedy (?) eCupid, featuring a bunch of straight people trying to play gay, and Morgan Fairchild as a magical computer genie

Topics discussed:

1. Why gay movies can't seem to get kissing right
2. The paintings of Art Frahm
3. Bad boys, boy next door types, skaterboys and dirty, dirty fratboys
4. Humunculi
5. Whether it hangs dong

Links mentioned in this episode:

• http://lileks.com/institute/frahm/index.html

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, because the long awaited sequel series is supposed to be coming out any day now, we talked about the 2006 film Boy Culture. Set in our hometown of Seattle, the film centers around X, an $5000/hr male prostitute who slut shames his friends, is casually racist and generally sucks. Can he find love with his roommate, even though he doesn't deserve it? Let's find out!

Topics discussed:

1. Ghost nut
2. The economics of extremely high-end escorts
3. Commercials about pooping
4. Being sexually aroused by tragedy
5. Seattle businesses that don't exist anymore
6. A tight five on Mr Peanut
7. What if McGruff the Crime Dog teamed up with a bird to solve murders?

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

The spookiest month continues with Hellbent, a 2004 gay slasher flick, about a hot guy in a devil mask who murders West Hollywood gays for... some reason. Did we lose our heads for this gorefest, or were we bored to death? Find out!

Topics discussed:

1. We try to name a single opera
2. Slashers
3. Stripper cops
4. What's the best way to describe your dick?
5. Cruising
6. Is it hard to get laid in drag
7. Wincest

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we watched the somewhat confusing but genuinely enjoyable French thriller Knife+Heart. A killer is stalking the cast of a gay porn studio with a dildo knife, and only Anne, the studio's alcoholic lesbian producer is taking it seriously. But can she navigate the a world of magical birds and dinosaur handed men to save the day in time?

Topics discussed:

1. Seriously, what's the point of fluffers?
2. Everything we know about France we learned from EricVideos
3. Culturally acceptable blackface
4. How to recruit porn actors
5. Birds that eat death and then fly to sun
6. The French are very fashionable

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we watched The Singing Forest, a movie that we have a lot of theories and questions about. Questions like, "why?" and "wait, what?!" IMDb calls it "The worst LGBT movie ever," are they right? Let's find out!

Topics discussed:

1. The Young Pope is younger than other popes
2. Reincarnation
3. Chris tries to remember the name of the movie Deadfall for a while
4. You don't have to be crazy to work here, but it helps

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we talked about another gay movie, specifically, the gay movie Another Gay Movie, a parody of the raunchy screwball sex comedies (ike American Pie). Has it aged well? Does it go way too far in the raunchy direction? Why does Drew keep defending it? WHY?!

Topics discussed:

1. Parodies of parodies
2. Bottom shaming
3. Kinks
4. How many is too many poop jokes?
5. Whether quiche is gay pie
6. Whether quiche is even any good
7. Seriously, why does Drew like this movie?

Links mentioned in this episode:

• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4yBvvGi_2A

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we watched the 1990 Eric Idle, Andrea Martin, Robert Downey Jr., and Ralph Macchio movie Too Much Sun. After a murdered millionaire's will stipulates that one of his gay children will have to produce a child of their own, they'll have to engage in some wacky farcical adventures to get their inheritance. Will they succeed? Does Eric Idle play gay offensively? Is Robert Downey Jr on coke for the whole movie? Does a gay guy do oral on a woman? Let's find out!

Topics discussed:

1. Sex with a ghost
2. Sex with a virgin
3. We used to think gloryholes existed
4. Why did women find Michael Douglas attractive?
5. How much money would it take for you to have sex with a woman?

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we watched the 2012 Rob Williams film The Men Next Door. When a sad sack without any real friends starts dating both a father and his son at the same time, he has to make a choice, and it'll involve retelling the story to four different people in great detail.

Topics discussed:

1. Cake blindness
2. So much incest
3. Chris describes The Green Lantern is Gay!: An XXX Porn Parody
4. Juggler Bottoms

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we watched the 2022 body horror (or so we were led to believe) movie Swallowed. When a gay guy and his best straight friend get roped into being drug mules, they find out that the condoms full of drugs they swallowed to cross the Canadian border were actually weirdo bug eggs that are hatching inside of them. And then there's an extended fisting scene.

Topics discussed:

1. The chemical makeup of squirt
2. Licking toads
3. Sex rooms
4. Fist shaped foods

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

For our birthday episode, we watched the 2002 film Ben and Arthur, widely regarded as the worst gay movie in the world. Possibly even the worst movie in the world. Does it live up to the hype? You best believe it does! Did we love every second of it? Heck yeah we did!

Topics discussed:

1. Church sanctioned hitmen
2. Gun-toting ex-wives
3. Interesting uses for nail polish remover
4. More psychopaths than you can shake an extra large dildo at
5. A constantly shifting magical flophouse
6. Did we mention that this movie is bonkers?

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we watched the 1980 Al Pacino movie Cruising, about a serial killer stalking the gay S&M cruising community, and the undercover cop who maybe catches him. Or maybe is the killer himself? The movie's very confusing, but what we do know is that someone's getting fisted in the background of one of the scenes, so we're on board!

Topics discussed:

1. The best thing to shoplift
2. Jim Varney's extra skin
3. How can Punch and Judy be more fun?
4. One of the wildest scenes we've ever seen
5. How to catch a serial killer who has no sperm

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we talked about the 2009 movie Homewrecker, a movie where the cover prominently advertises that it features Tiffany from the Eating Out Series. When a wannabe actor infiltrates the home of two gay tv producers, he'll do everything he can to be in their next show, including a very convoluted and incoherent plot to break them up or something. Can they thwart his evil advances? Can they finish the concept for their new reality show? Will Tiffany actually make an appearance? Let's find out!

Topics discussed:

1. Tubi ads
2. Who likes ribbed condoms?
3. Having sex through a hole in a sheet
4. What is a reality show?
5. Let's all hate on James Corden a little
6. We body shame people more attractive than us

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we talked about the Disney animated movie Mulan, maybe you've heard of it?

Topics discussed:

1. Sexual awakenings
2. The use of fruit in drag
3. Breaking Amish in reverse
4. Drew's hookup past
5. Good drag names

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we're late in discussing the Hallmark original Christmas movie Dashing in December. It's your standard Hallmark fare, guy from the big city tries to shut down the struggling horse ranch his mom (Andie MacDowell) owns, only to fall in love with her employee. We know, we know, we meant to do it before Christmas, but stuff happened.

Topics discussed:

1. The movie Hot to Trot
2. The Hallmark/Great American Family feud
3. Gender neutral names
4. CEOs on coke

Links mentioned in this episode: http://www.bigdickbonerpills.com

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we got into the Christmas spirit with the 2013 movie Scrooge and Marley, a gay retelling of A Christmas Carol that implies the two title characters will be in love, but they're not. It's mostly a faithful retelling of the Dickens story except that everyone is gay in it, and also they add Bruce Vilanch playing a real creep.

Topics discussed:

1. Chris has been radicalized to libertarianism (but not really)
2. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Pride and Prejudice
3. Roommates who pee their pants
4. Ghosts with jobs
5. Judith Light!

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, for Spooky Season we watched the recent LGBTQ+ Kevin Bacon horror movie They/Them, about a killer who's stalking a gay conversion camp. Except, it's barely a horror movie, since the kids are in no danger, and the only people getting slashed are the jerks who run the camp. And because it bares a certain similarity to his book, Surrender Your Sons, we invited Adam Sass to come talk about it with us.

Topics discussed:

1. Tim Curry's hatred of Scrappy Doo
2. Shirley Markowitz
3. DoesTheDogDie.com
4. Gay sex angles
5. Victorian babydoll heads on grown men's bodies

Links mentioned in this episode:

• https://www.adamsassbooks.com/
• https://bookshop.org/books/the-99-boyfriends-of-micah-summers/9780593464786
• https://bookshop.org/books/surrender-your-sons/9781635830613

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, getting in the Halloween spirit early, we watched the 2019 horror movie Spiral. When a former club kid (Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman) moves to the suburbs with his wet blanket husband, he uncovers a cult that plans to use homophobia to live forever. Also he meets a ghost who hands him some video tapes that explain the whole plot but that he refuses to watch.

Topics discussed:

1. Gay Knockoff Transformers
2. The strange racket that is Neapolitan pizza
3. Butthole bleaching 4 What do straight people like? 5 Rob Ford 6 #WhoIsTheGuyOnTheBridge

Links mentioned in this episode:

• https://external-preview.redd.it/dNIPNmzS6rv35wISMmLVTYqIcaDmI4rzlzLjbz8kb60.jpg?auto=webp&s=f01a322eaa2eb46d072c0db36223d486f4a735b8

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we watched the classic gay art house film Querelle. Ostensibly about murder, sailors and sex, it goes off the rails as soon as a lusty ship's lieutenant stsrts recording his inner most thoughts, and we have an absolute blast with it

Topics discussed:

1. How to masturbate without getting jizz on your pajamas
2. Thoughts of the sea naturally leading to thoughts of murder
3. Dating your twin

4. It's not gay if you enjoy it

   We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we watched Third Man Out, the first of the Donald Strachey mystery series produced for HereTV. Starring Chad Allen as the most famous gay private investigator in all of Albany, this movie is the fun kind of incomprehensible.

Topics discussed:

1. The Dirty Albs
2. Matthew Rush's dick
3. Batman's claim to be the World's Greatest Detective
4. Outing people
5. Lower back tattoos

Links mentioned in this episode:

• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mOcBYAbJ5eQ

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we watched the incoherent 2019 moVie "Groupers". What starts as an Incoherent revenge plot to turn two homophobeS gay by connEcting them at the dick gets even weirder when a ganG of neo-nazis show up to Ruin everything. And if thAt description makes it sound like the fun kind of baD, you've been fooled the same way we were.

Topics discussed:

1. Commercials on Tubi
2. The worst college bar experiences
3. Boners are complicated
4. Skipping the pivotal first thirty seconds of a movie

Links mentioned in this episode:

• https://www.amazon.com/Visegrad-Novel-Duncan-Robertson/dp/1734537930

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, Isabel Anderson, who also does our amazing episode art, joined us to talk about Another Gay Sequel: Gays Gone Wild. All of us, except Drew, hated the first film, but what will this installment bring? Can it hope to surpass the nasty, crass humor of the first movie? (Hint: Yes)

Topics discussed:

1. Which kind of merperson would you have sex with?
2. Cursed tikis
3. Chris describes the worst porno he's ever seen
4. Problematic gays
5. Bath houses

Links mentioned in this episode:

• https://glowmoondoll.com/
• https://i.redd.it/p1ooz0poxtn11.jpg

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we watched the 1998 film The Wolves of Kromer. In a world where gay people are some sort of werewolves who live in the British countryside and eat old ladies, can we ever learn to get along with our straight neighbors? If this concept sounds wild, it's because it is.

Topics discussed:

1. Problematic gay allegories
2. Does Pac-Man have a dick?
3. Models who are actors
4. The world's greatest detective
5. Grief orgasms
6. Oi innit, gov?

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

Best friends (who don't seem to actually like each other very much) Myles and Brody make a pact that they'll be boyfriends if they're still single in 10 years in this JC Calciano entry from 2014. It's your typical rom-com setup, but will there be a twist this time? Does the fact that it's not funny or romantic count?

Topics discussed:

1. Sleeping with your friends
2. What should and should not go inside the human body
3. Gogo dancers
4. The law
5. The amazingness that is the movie Scoob
6. The True-Name Nemesis

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we watched the 2022 "thriller" eXploited, which is in no way related to eXistenZ, despite their shared love of capitalizing letters in the middle of words. No, this one is about how online porn leads to murder. Or... not really murder, I guess. There's actually surprisingly little murder in this movie that sure makes you want to think it's about murder. But you do get a lot of weird fetishes!

Topics discussed:

1. Being given porn by basically strangers
2. Drunk guy fights
3. Why are people so bad at assembling monkeys?
4. 0.002% body fat
5. Eric's dorm room

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we watched the 2006 Shock to the System, the second in the Donald Strachey series of mysteries. Join us as we return to the Dirty Albs, and try solve a mystery so confusing that the country's most famous gay detective doesn't even know what the mystery is.

Topics discussed:

1. Chris describes a porno he should have described last episode
2. Ex-gay therapy
3. Tattoos
4. Morgan Fairchild

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we watched the most recent movie we've done, the 2019 film Last Ferry. When a young gay lawyer sees a murder on Fire Island, he pretty much ignores it until the last five minutes of the movie when the movie goes off the rails. Fun!

Topics discussed:

1. Cruising
2. Fire Island
3. Sexy murder
4. The best Ninja Turtle
5. Hey, did you know that Chris is from New York?

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, for the podcast's three-year birthday, after threatening to do it for so long, we decided to torture ourselves by watching the Kevin James and Adam Sandler movie I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. That's right we sat through every minute of this TWO HOUR LONG movie (that's about an hour and a half of fat jokes) so that you don't have to.

CONTENT WARNING: This movie uses sexual assault as a punchline a lot, and we discuss the movie doing that.

Topics discussed:

1. The many better scripts of Alexander Payne
2. What's the deal with Nick Swardson?
3. Fellas, is it gay to have good hip flexibility?

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, at the suggestion of a listener who hates us, we watched the not even gay movie Andy the Talking Hedgehog. Starring Tara Reid and Dean Cain, this movie is a fascinating look into the depths of how bad a movie can actually be. We thought Pornography: A Thriller was terrible, but Andy the Talking Hedgehog has shown us how good we've actually had it. At least that movie hung dong.

Topics discussed:

1. Actors with problematic views
2. Hedgehog teeth
3. Lisa Frank
4. What should a talking cat sound like?
5. Accents

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, after some mild technical difficulties, we're back! And we watched the 2013 gay hitman flick Triple Crossed, starring and directed by the very good sport friend of the pod Sean Paul Lockhart. When an ex-marine is given a job to kill the ex boyfriend of his friend and sometimes lover... you know what? This plot is incomprehensibe. but we had fun with it anyway

Topics discussed:

1. Oroborous porn
2. The laws around faking your own death
3. Gay LFO
4. How to do crimes badly

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, the boys watched the 2011 film Going Down in La La Land, the almost certainly semi-autobiographical story of a reluctant pornstar who finds the love of America's favorite sitcom dad. Or, as it's described by Google "Friendships sustain people living in Hollywood and help them deal with the celebrity-obsessed culture."

Topics discussed:

1. The films of Jet Set Men
2. Top privilege
3. Bruce Villanche
4. Whether Chris got paid enough for posing nude
5. Gay robots

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we talked for a very long time about the short film G O'Clock, about a chemsex party gone awry. Well, more awry.

Topics discussed:

1. Pokemon
2. Booty shorts
3. Recreational drug use
4. Man-chaining
5. British porn stars

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we watched the 2020 movie Death Drop Gorgeous. Not to confused with that other movie with a similar name, this one is about a slasher stalking the streets of gay Providence, RI. Can the case be solved by a down on his luck bartender, or an aging drag queen, or a pair of detectives one of whom looks like he's a literal baby? Or is one of the aforementioned people secretly the killer? Let's find out!

Topics discussed:

1. That episode of Star Trek where they all get horny for each other
2. Shaving pubic hair
3. Glory holes and what might be behind them
4. Chris Describes a Porno
5. Way too much Drag Race talk even for us

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we watched the 1988 British film The Fruit Machine. Which, yes, does mean it's time for some positively terrible accents from us while we discuss a film where a couple of teenagers witness a murder, go on the run, get abused by a famous opera singer, and finally rescue a magical dolphin. It's a truly wild film.

Topics discussed:

1. Robbie Coltrane
2. Flipper's jean shorts
3. Are fish creatures?
4. Are dolphins fish?
5. What exactly is the X-Simulator?

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we were joined by the incomparable Mike Johnson and Kyle Getz from the Gayish podcast to talk about the 2006 film Eating Out 2: Sloppy Seconds. Scream taught us that, in the sequel, the body count is always higher, the death scenes are always more elaborate, and the killer is never dead. Will those rules hold true to this tale of sexual trickery? Let's find out!

Topics discussed:

1. Pocket pussies
2. Ex-gays
3. Camboys
4. What your grandfather's balls can tell you about your future
5. Whether cunnilingus is hard
6. How to make models comfortable when posing for homoerotic art

Links mentioned in this episode:

• http://www.gayishpodcast.com/

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we watched the very recent M. Night Shyamalan movie Knock At the Cabin. Ostensibly a movie with gay main characters, and we don't want to spoil the twist for you, but it ends up being quite possibly the most offensive movie we've ever seen, both because it's actually offensive and because it's deeply boring, but man does it make plane crashes funny.

Topics discussed:

1. A brand new JFK assassination theory
2. The binding of isaac (the story, not the game, although the game's rad)
3. How do helicopters work?
4. The god of the bible is a pretty evil dude (or lady)
5. Chris is gonna get Eric to watch Supernatural somehow

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we talked about Greg Araki's 2010 psycho-sci-fi-sex-dramedy Kaboom. Look, I don't know how to describe this movie to you, it's crazy. Someone sees a murder, there's a lesbian witch and a doomsday cult and some very gross mac and cheese.

Topics discussed:

1. The shampoo challenge
2. What kind of dickpics we'd like to receive in our inbox (wereadmovies@gmail.com)
3. Cults
4. How big a cock you'd need to gag three people with it at the same time
5. The proper way to eat pussy like it's spaghetti

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, along with our special guests Butch Alice and Anya Knees, we talked about the 2013 film Vampire Boys 2: The New Brood. With naked fight scenes, bad accents, and mind control powers, it should be a hit. Is it? Probably not, but let's find out!

Topics discussed:

1. Scooby Doo
2. The rules of vampires
3. Naked boxing
4. Mind control acting
5. Hey, look over there!

Links mentioned in this episode:

• http://www.annextheatre.org/2020-season/the-vampires-of-the-neverwood/

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we watched the 2015 movie Daddy. An older man who once donated sperm in college, and now has a habit of hooking up with younger guys, meets the young guy of his dreams, and it turns out, wouldn't you know it, that they're actually related.

Topics discussed:

1. TV news pundits
2. Not shaking your dick after peeing
3. Incest porn
4. Having sex in a dorm room as an adult
5. Problematic storylines

Links https://minoriteareport.libsyn.com/

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we were joined by Seattle drag royalty Mark Finley to talk about the movie that he appears in, Holiday Heart. When a drag queen with the legal birth name of Holiday Heart (played by Ving Rhames) befriends an addict (Alfre Woodard), and her daughter, he puts all of his dreams on hold for the benefit of people who don't seem to deserve his kindness, or even want it. Also then he gets into a relationship with the addict's drug dealer/ex. It's all very strange.

Topics discussed:

1. What people care about in France
2. Tucking
3. The music of Super Smash Bros
4. The slowest moving car related death in history

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

Sorry it's late! Chris decided to eat at a disreputable but delicious teriyaki place and then be bedridden for 3 days with the worst case of food poisoning he's ever had, but this week, we watched the 2017 movie Kept Boy. When an aging sugar baby feels his boyfriend falling for the pool boy, he tries to win him back through trickery. But is it really him who's being tricked? Or the audience, by the most ridiculous twist ending we've ever seen?

Also, will this experience teach Chris anything about being more selective about where he eats? Probably not

Topics discussed:

1. Chris describes more of the gay porno "Boy Band"
2. That time when Elon Musk injecting twink blood
3. Tom Bombadil but gay
4. Scheme, heists, capers and hijinx
5. The sexual preferences of owls

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we watched the 2020 movie Out of Body. When a demon is released from an orb (you know how all orbs have demons living inside them?), and possesses the body of Malcolm, it's up to his best friend Henry (who's secretly in love with him) to get it back. Or that's what the description on IMDb would have you believe. Mostly Malcolm just tries to get Henry laid from beyond the grave for some reason, and then the movie kind of ends.

Topics discussed:

1. America's favorite serial killer
2. Ginny Thomas's safe word
3. The difference between red and salmon
4. How would we include RuPaul in this movie?
5. This is why we never shake an orb

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we watched the 2016 short film Bed Buddies, about what happens when best friends Brent, Jared and Danny all have a drunken threesome. Now in the cold light of sobriety they have to decide whether to stay friends or more than friends, and they have to do it while staring at Brent's comically gargantuan bulge.

Topics discussed:

1. Hooking up with friends
2. What slurs you're allowed to use (if in doubt, don't)
3. Rowan Atkinson
4. Weird threesomes
5. Hookup apps

Watch along with us:

• https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x5cubvr

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we watched the 2020 British short film Jackplot. For a movie with the word plot in the title, there's not a lot of it, so mostly we just talked about a DC/Frasier crossover. Join us, won't you

Topics discussed:

1. The Two Dr. Crane's
2. How much money would it take for you to kill your husband?
3. What if it was in British money?
4. What even is British money? How does it work?
5. Reality TV

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we watched the 2019 movie Crisis Hotline. When Simon, a jaded LGBT Crisis Hotline operator, gets a call from someone who claims he's going to kill some porn producers, he has to... sit patiently on the phone until the guy eventually gets to his point. It's a very boring thriller, is our point.

Topics discussed:

1. The Dark Web
2. The steps in the standard gay dating tango
3. Meeting your boyfriend's bosses
4. Meeting your boyfriend's bosses' boss, who's also a creepy sex trafficker
5. Young tech geniuses
6. Gooches, grundles and taints

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, Chris texted the group while drunk on a Wednesday at 12:30am and said "guys we NEED to do the 2011 movie Hold Your Peace. The movie is super boring, it's about a guy who's trying to break up his ex's wedding. But the bachelor party scene is incredible!" (There were a lot more spelling errors in the text, but we sheltered you from that) Was Chris right? Was the bachelor party incredible, or merely deeply upsetting? Let's find out!

Topics discussed:

1. The rules of King's Cup
2. MLM sex toy parties
3. Straight Simpson's incest porn pop-ups on gay websites
4. Twink shaming
5. What's the sluttiest kind of clothing and why is it a tuxedo?

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we watched the soft core porn pretending to be an actual movie Angels With Tethered Wings. When twink porn stars Grant and Timmy are murdered, they come back as zombies for revenge. And also there's a missing briefcase full of money, and an undercover mob boss, and a gravedigger who has sex with corpses, and a million flashbacks. This movie is impossible to explain, so listen to us stumble around trying to for a long time!

Topics discussed:

1. Drew's top ten nuts
2. Where do Cenobites come from?
3. Vagina keys
4. The differences between zombies and angels
5. Nanny McPhee
6. Fantasia

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we talked about the 2010 movie Unhappy Birthday, which is hailed, in the Amazon description,as "a queer take on the Wicker Man" in that it's also British. When Sadie, her boyfriend, and her boyfriend's boyfriend are all trapped on a mysterious island that's maybe haunted (and also there's a cult or something?) they'll have to escape if they want to avoid becoming baby-making surrogates to a full-grown woman in a dress made for a child's purity ring ceremony. If that description sounds confusing, just wait, because this movie makes zero sense. Can our hosts get through it? Let's find out!

Topics discussed:

1. James Watson looks like an absolute ghoul
2. Final Fantasy X-2
3. Mead gets you horny
4. Urinal troughs
5. Insulting people's fathers in their own homes
6. Having a threeway with the door open

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

We're trying something new today! We noticed a glut of bad gay short films on our streaming services, and decided, on our off weeks, that maybe we'd talk briefly about those. So if an hour and a half of us yammering in your ears every two weeks just isn't enough, now you can hear us talk for twenty more minutes about a short film it only takes ten minutes to watch.

Topics discussed:

1. The 2020 short film Hey, Google
2. Netflix reality shows
3. How soon is too soon for a pandemic related story?
4. Glamour muscles
5. Why you probably shouldn't make a movie that makes the watcher's smart device chime every 30 seconds

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, for the spookiest month of them all, we watched a gay horror short about a horny ghost. It's only a 6 minute short, and most of that is laugh track, so most of the episode is us talking about whether or not we'd fuck a ghost.

Topics discussed:

1. Abraham Lincoln's ghost
2. Chuck Tingle books
3. Would you fuck a ghost?
4. Yes

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, for our bonus short, we begin by talking about Chris in the shower, and end up talking about that scene in Legally Blonde where Enrique the poolboy gets outed for knowing about designer shoes. It's a wild ride.

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, Chris asked if we could watch the 2011 horror romance Vampire Boys, and like idiots we all said "I don't know what that is, but sure." With vampires who can go out in the sunlight, and aren't afraid of crosses, but do need the love of a mortal, it's a lot like a gay Twilight. A Twinklight, if you will.

Topics discussed:

1. Eric's upstairs neighbors sex habits
2. The porn that Chris pretends he doesn't watch
3. LA being sepia-toned
4. The rare, reverse-eCupid

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we watched the 2006 John-Stamos-plays gay TV movie Wedding Wars. When a gay wedding planner finds out that his brother is deeply homophobic, he organizes a gay strike that spoiler alert goes nowhere and does nothing. But we've got a star studded cast at least!

Topics discussed:

1. Will and Grace
2. The many problems plaguing the town of Derry, Maine
3. Republican campaign ads
4. The very on the nose naming of Gay dot com
5. Marriage

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we watched the recent Buzzfeed Productions movie My Fake Boyfriend, an incoherent tale of what happens when you make a fake boyfriend for social media, but afterwards realize you want to be with a handsome chef whose arms are muscular beyond belief. Also, it asks the very important question, is there such a thing as a celebrity stunt man?

Topics discussed:

1. The suspicious death of Swedish economist Dag Hammarskjöld
2. Homemade soup
3. How to tell your mom you're just "regular gay" without disappointing her
4. Edibles are no joke y'all

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we watched the very strange and David Cronenberg-ian 2007 movie Socket. After he's struck by lightning and develops electricity vampire powers, a doctor joins up with a group of other electricity vampires for a party-and-play metaphor that ends in multiple murders. Does it make sense? Not really. Does it involve some plug and socket-related body horror? You better believe it does.

Topics discussed:

1. Butt-Chugging
2. Chris describes a porno
3. Underwear designed for people with small butts
4. Porn parodies

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we watched the 2006 homoerotic boarding school witch movie The Covenant, starring Sebastian Stan and Steven Strait. Although it's not a "gay movie" per se, it's actually surprisingly gay, and the swimming pool scene was important for a lot of gay teens in the early 2000's.

Topics discussed:

1. Incubi and the band Incubus
2. What exactly is a Darkling?
3. How many vaginas do spiders have?

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we watched the third in the Donald Strachey mystery movies, On the Other Hand Death. When a greedy land developer plans to do something confusingly illegal, it's up to the world's greatest gay detective Donald Strachey to save a lesbian couple from being run out of town. Can he solve the case, or will they have to move to Vermont and open up a B&B (which is their actual plan)?

Topics discussed:

1. Love dice
2. A Libertarian Christmas Carol
3. Why do elephants have trunks and not tentacles?
4. How does Kel feel about Keenan's success?
5. Stephen King books are weird

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we talked about Pornography: A Thriller, a 2010 movie that wants you to feel bad about watching porn, but also kind of wants to show you some porn. The movie makes no sense, so if this episode feels incomprehensible, it's because we're actually doing an amazingly good job explaining it.

Topics discussed:

1. Good porn names
2. How to get out of an unwanted party invitation
3. Ghosts/demons/extradimensional creatures
4. Count Barebackula

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we watched Midnight Kiss, a Blumhouse presents horror movie about the dangers of kissing people on New Year's Eve, starring Captain America's brother, Scott Evans.

Topics discussed:

1. High concept horror movies
2. People with cat heads
3. Why Hulu is bad for seeing dong
4. Why does Eric think people keep condoms in the bathroom?

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we watched the 2007 Rob Williams (not to be confused with Robin Williams) movie Back Soon. When a straight drug dealer gets a horny dead lady's ghost inside his body, he turns gay for her widower, who turns gay for him too through the power of sleepwalking. It's a very confusing plot, but it's also very boring.

Topics discussed:

1. The difference between Ding Dongs, HoHos and Cupcakes (hint, there isn't one)
2. Weird food combinations
3. "Gang banger hair"
4. Exposition dialogue

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week we watched the 2023 slasher movie Departing Seniors. When a gay high-schooler is pushed down the stairs by bullies, the blow to his head that almost kills him actually gives him psychic powers, which he can use to see the future. He then uses that power to save his bullies (who, you may remember, just pushed him down the stairs) from a vengeful serial killer, it's unclear why, tbh

Topics discussed:

1. The 3 Body Problem is kind of a dumb show
2. But so are a lot of shows we like
3. Other movies that have psychic powers in them
4. Bad hair
5. Never forget that, in the comic books, Thanos wants to make love to a skeleton

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we invited our good friends Mike and Kyle back to watch the fourth and most excruciating of the Eating Out movies: Drama Camp. A camp of queer people out in the woods, secret identities, bizarre rules against sex? It sounds like the hit Kevin Bacon movie They/Them, but no, the only thing this movie slashed was our free time. Come join us for the Q. Allan Brocka movie that made us say "you know, now that I think about it, the second one wasn't that bad."

Topics discussed:

1. Straight scholarships
2. Chloë Sevigny
3. Shakespearean adaptations
4. What if cuckold porn followed the biological definition of the word?

Links mentioned in this episode:

• https://www.gayishpodcast.com/

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we watched the 2011 movie Walk a Mile in My Pradas, about a straight guy who magically becomes gay thanks to Bruce Vilanch's magical Christmas ornament. Also there's a gay dude who becomes magically straight, but he's barely in the movie sooooo...

Topics discussed:

1. The gay porn parody of The Ring
2. Stereotypes
3. Boats and cop cars
4. Andy the Talking Hedgehog
5. Famous Bruces

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we watched the too-pretentious-even-for-Chris 2010 movie Strapped. When a hustler becomes trapped in an Alice in Wonderland like apartment building, he's gotta unsexily bone his way out, changing his personality and name with each encounter. And maybe, just maybe, the studio execs will decide that he needs to find love along the way.

Topics discussed:

1. How did Nixon like to self-pleasure?
2. Mythical creatures
3. The patron saint of bottoms
4. How much would you charge for a kiss?
5. Would Kirby give better head than Nancy Reagan?

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we talked about the 2004 "sex comedy" Eating Out, which at the time was hailed as gay sexy fun.

2004 was a different time. A time of Blockbuster Video, flip phones, and questionable consent. A time when it was totally cool for men to get laid through trickery. A time when supposed allies were allowed to just make it rain gay slurs. Basically, I'm saying this movie hasn't aged well.

Topics discussed:

1. Consent being sexy
2. What it meant to be early 2000's attractive
3. Which Doctor Who was the gayest
4. Internalized homophobia
5. Double dicking

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we watched the 2018 movie, Say Yes, about a woman with terminal cancer, who's last and most serious wish is that after she dies, her husband will have sex with her twin brother. If that sounds weird as heck, just buckle yourselves in!

Topics discussed:

1. Twincest
2. Howard the Duck's PG rating
3. John Edwards' sex tape
4. Rolling a nat 20 on your persuasion check
5. New ideas for Hallmark cards
6. Uses for melons

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, because it's Pride Month, we talked about the 2015 movie Stonewall, the movie that asked, what if we took a real event and replaced almost all the black people in it with one bland white dude? Also, they throw in a little fem shaming and a weird third act kidnapping,

Topics discussed:

1. The Corndog Killer
2. How to hide your porn
3. Gay directors making gay movies for straight people
4. Mercifully we DON'T talk about kink at Pride discourse
5. Is J. Edgar Hoover in this movie?

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

This week, we watched the 2020 Lifetime movie,The Christmas Setup. When an overbearing mother (Fran Drescher) sets her son up with a handsome millionaire computer genius who invented an app that can tell the future, he's initially annoyed. But soon he comes to realize that this guy is actually kind of a catch. Also they save an abandoned train station that's in danger of being torn down to make room for something that would actually help people.

Topics discussed:

1. NIMBY-ism
2. Nancy Reagan's unparallelled throat game
3. Chris's ex wrote a song praising his butt
4. Drew's mother hasn't seen a movie since 1988
5. Eric has a lot of opinions about sandwiches

We Read Movies

This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm