Valley Boys Podcast (Dave Weasel)

The boys talk about cancel culture, Brandon's wrestling career, and how to sneak down to better seats at sporting events.

The boys talk about what would happen if they got in a fight, Dave being sick, the Don't Fuck With Cats documentary, and being farted on.

Dave describes his recent disastrous trip to San Diego, naked people urinating on subway trains, and a police officer who was recognized by one of her OnlyFans subscribers during a traffic stop

The boys are finally able to speak about their former network, as it's in the news anyway. 

The boys talk about their best/worst ideas while drunk/high, sending nudes, and how the only thing Dave will ever invent is a new STD

Dave declares he's already over Christmas, talks about the ineffectiveness of voicemail, horror movie nudity, Boxing Day vs. Black Friday, the gong show of his first job, and the Rife rage

Dave talks about a 'dick detector' his childhood friend found, pornbot names, red/green flags, the latest crazy headlines, and pretending to be Danny Glover on Yahoo Answers.

While Brandon is in New Mexico shoving cacti up his butt, Dave is left alone to talk about Norm MacDonald, the Texas abortion ban, and calling his friends Judge Jarrett and Meerkat Jimmy

The boys talk about the coronavirus, Joe Biden's AR-14, Alex Jones' DWI, and Brandon's weed and prostitute addiction.

The boys address the online rumours about Brandon having sexual relations with raccoons (started by Dave), smuggling cocaine with your penis, and catcalling

Hector Resendez joins Dave to talk about how toilet plungers are a form of currency in Iowa, Los Angeles vs Orange County comedians, and a pregnant stripper named "Skunky" crying

Dave talks about the Disney Adult's cousin the Vegas Voyager, religions had logos someone had to design, judging someone based on their name, and the glory days of flip phones and MySpace

SPONSORS:

DUER: Get 15% off storewide at https://shopduer.com

MANSCAPED: Get 20% plus free shipping at https://manscaped.com/valleyboys

Dave talks about what a Racist Conversion Camp would be like, original Nintendo cheat codes, and how a kid publicly freaked out thinking Dave was a leprechaun during a horrible time in life he wore a fedora with a chin strap beard.

SPONSOR:

EveryPlate - go to http://everyplate.com/podcast and enter code 49valleyboys to get started for $1.49

Dave Weasel discusses the Kanye West mutiny, Jehovah's Witness Halloween, your own body betraying you, Orange County, and other people's boring work stories.

Sponsor:

go to Betterhelp.com/VALLEYBOYS for 10% off you first month of therapy

The boys argue over who is more white trash, $50k NBA fines for mean DMs, and how to suck your way into becoming a billionaire

Brandon Blackburn - former CIA officer, Live PD producer, and current Dave's standup agent joins the boys to talk about the shitshow of current events. It's a bloodbath

Feeling under the weather, the discuss a woman's DUI in a car full of kids, writing your own obituary, and how Valley Boys listeners are the ugliest in all podcasts

The boys talk about Dave's heatstroke, someone getting stabbed for farting, and Joe Biden dropping bombs instead of green cards

Dave Weasel discusses using your filth for revenge, parents casting their kids for ugly roles, and plays Aspergers or CTE

Sponsor:

Manscaped - manscaped.com/VALLEYBOYS for 20% OFF + Free Shipping

Fitbod - Get 25% off your subscription or try the app FREE at Fitbod.me/VALLEYBOYS.

The boys discuss a possible "dating" app for truck drivers in parking lots, Yelp reviews for sex workers, and a marriage app that rates your ex's dumps

Comedian and former adult actress Alia Janine join the boys to talk about her two career paths, quarantine drug deals, predators in entertainment, and sharting. 

Dave gives a rundown on some unique fetishes, Lizzo and the crystal flute uproar, Davante Adams, and what Michael Myers would possibly be doing between all the murdering

With Brandon back in LA, the boys talk about a fat Olympics, the trashiest places to get kicked out of, Love is Blind, and fatfishing. 

The boys talk about pee jugs and lot lizards, Kyle Rittenhouse, and wasting money on weddings when the divorce will cost more. 

They discuss mailing meth in Florida, revenge farts, and pay tribute to Dallas, Brandon's late pet Greyhound. 

The boys celebrate joining a new network by testing what words will get beeped out, stupid bets on sports, and doing standup right after better comedians

The boys are joined by former congressman and presidential candidate Joe Walsh to discuss corruption, guns, booze, how and how everything he does is wrong (according to Dave), and how he looks like Jeffrey Epstein.

The boys discuss the 'rona idiots going to the beach, Spirit Airlines being a 'tube full of demons', and Brandon recounts his first acid trip that happened the night before. 

The boys talk about getting a woman fired from Lyft, Streaming services, opposite sex paradoxes, and Newsom's recall

The boys talk about sexual public nudity, gender reveal deaths, and have a toilet flushing political debate. Sorry. 

The boys discuss unsolicited tit pics, NHL playoffs, keto, Brandon's un-marriage advice, and being back on stage for standup comedy

The boys talk about the presidential transition, predictions for the year, commie bastards, and how Brandon might be the Nightstalker

 The boys are joined by the hilarious comedian and actor Paul Elia to discuss masturbation during the quarantine, Detroit Tigers, terrible airlines, and cartoon net guns being more efficient than assault rifles. 

Dave talks about why he doesn't go to parties at famous people's houses, a disastrous story where he was invited to try out for a school hockey team because they confused him with an NHL prospect, and voting against your own interests to stick it to the libs. 

SPONSOR:

FACTOR MEALS go to https://factormeals.com/valleyboys50 or use code VALLEYBOYS50 for 50% off your first box

Dave talks about karate dorks, the Punk in the Park Festival, etiquette for falling down, unfortunate nicknames, and if cereal box prizes came with trashy liquor

The boys talk about getting drunk and ruining Christmas, California lockdowns, and Brandon's hatred for Gavin Newsom

Dave talks about Twin Flames and the dumpster fire types of people to get involved in that, Blackberrys, recent crazy headlines,  and how religions with sex rules are sex cults. 

While in complete Los Angeles lockdown, the boys are joined remotely by former CIA officer Brandon Blackburn who divulges government secrets like Osama Bin Laden's porn collection. Dave rundowns Tiger King and blames a secret fart on Brandon.

Dave Weasel reviews the Union Station bathroom, suspects a dog is the mayor of Reseda, and clarifies meat clowns vs dirt farmers

Sponsor:

Visit Manscaped.com and use code VALLEYBOYS for free shipping and 20% off

Get 25% off your subscription or try the app FREE at Fitbod.me/VALLEYBOYS

The boys talk about penis recognition software, desert orgies, and Dave soliciting drugs on Instagram

The boys finally address Brandon cutting a remote episode short because he had to take a dump in a 711 cup in his truck, a woman hospitalized for holding in farts, and a man who shot off his own penis breaking into cars

Comedian Jessica Kirson joins the boys to discuss her standup special TALKING TO MYSELF, performing during the quarantine, and old tweets coming back from the dead.

The boys are joined by Comedian Jimmy Dore and Steve Lewis and talk about all things greasy in American politics and culture, and Brandon smokes up the Shit Shack.

Dave describes a recent encounter of people doing their nasty business in broad day light public, DoorDash creeps, and how to handle your women stinking up the bathroom

Legendary guitarist Noodles joins the boys for some real talk about not showering, immigration, Trump, the administration's response to the pandemic, and jumping roof to roof with a machete. 

Dave gets into an Uber driver randomly spurring her right wing beliefs like it's a game of bingo, road trips in the 90s, how we've all been the accidental creep, and why you shouldn't drunk dial past age 30

The boys discuss Brandon's new back-length mullet, the term 'slut' being gender neutral, and what Roe v. Wade means for these poor, poor men

The boys talk about social media influence, old jokes biting you in the ass, politics, and Brandon suspects Dave will convert to Republican

Dave talks about Lauren Boebert's husband whipping it out at a bowling alley and picking up where she left off with her new date, giving a tour of LA, and getting kicked out of Canadian Idol

In honor of Matt Gatez, the boys rehash their drunkest stories, describe crazy encounters in LA, and how they'd fake a personal injury lawsuit

The boys get a little political, talk about jokes going too far, Antonio Brown, transgender people on dating sites, and read out your break up stories. 

The boys talk about online death threats, their worst jobs, stealing back engagement rings, and prostitute pricing scales.

Dave talks about how his friend got engaged to a woman he met while doing cocaine together, how the Kardashians can fart in a jar and you'd still buy it, feral barn cats, and Dry May

In a solo episode while Brandon recovers from surgery, Dave talks about Elizabeth Holmes and The Dropout, the crazy pastor casting out "witches", and embracing your filth but not like the guy caught masturbating four times on one flight did

The boys talk about Dave getting his Twitter hacked and losing his verified badge, appropriating being called "curvy" instead of fat, and robbing a pizza delivery driver with an ax.... for the pizza

Dave goes over the weird things he would do if he were Elon rich, gifts to give people you hate, and how men don’t get smarter, they learn to control their stupidity.

Sponsor:

Valley Boys Podcast is sponsored by BETTERHELP get 10% off your first month at http://betterhelp.com/valleyboys

Manscaped - manscaped.com/VALLEYBOYS for 20% OFF + Free Shipping

Dave gives advice on what NOT to do when cancelling plans, escaping a SiriusXM trial, which TV dads would vote for Trump or Biden, how every kid has a traumatizing hamster story, stealing furniture from venues that owe you money, and the Nickelback documentary.

Sponsor:

HelloFresh.com/VALLEYBOYS50 and and use code VALLEYBOYS50 for 50% off plus free shipping!

Dave goes over the wildest headlines about divorce including a marriage destroyed by farting, Mormon gay/straight marriages, Kim/Kanye/Skete, and a wife who slept with the entire WuTang Clan

The Boys talk about being naked in Zoom meetings, Monday morning DUIs, wost sports fans, and a comedian's racist tirade.  

In an other solo episode, Dave Weasel tells wild stories from his band days, growing up Jehovah's Witness, and a man who gave a cop meth instead of his license and registration.

With Brandon back after surgery, the boys discuss getting fatter, if farts can be racist, Elon Musk, and Dave's idea to use GoFundMe for all his life expenses.

Dave talks about the benefits of arranged marriages, swearing in kindergarten,  and dishes horror stories about a crazy Winnipeg family

Sponsor:

Valley Boys Podcast is sponsored by BETTERHELP get 10% off your first month at http://betterhelp.com/valleyboys

Dave is back to discuss when it's appropriate to start farting around your partner, fast food CEOs, and how beards make double chins look like 1.5 chins

Sponsor:

FACTOR - get 50% off your first box at https://factormeals.com/valleyboys50

In what is technically the 100th episode, Dave goes through some of the wildest FLORIDA MAN news stories. Meth, nudity, alligators, and a whole lot of booze. 

sponsor:

EVERYPLATE: go to https://everyplate.com/podcast and entering code valleyboys49 to get started for just $1.49

Dave discusses Black Friday, how a French Bulldog ruined Thanksgiving and not him, the creepy older guy in small towns that hang around teenagers, and people pooping in line at Disneyland (yes really)

Dave recalls getting to swear in front of a teacher, a man identifying as Christian yelling about food stamps, warns about guys who own swords, vocal fry, and lightly brushes on the Trump arrest

The boys talk about terrible habits formed during the lockdown, share horror stories, and stage an intervention for Brandon's marijuana addiction.

Dave Weasel discusses getting a woman fired from Lyft, San Francisco, And gaining so much weight he'll need an MRI at the zoo. 

Sponsor:

Valley Boys Podcast is sponsored by BETTERHELP get 10% off your first month at http://betterhelp.com/valleyboys

Dave describes the hellscape of driving in San Francisco, his new cat having stinky butt drama, growing older, and stages of alcoholism 

Dave recounts his drunk friend at an NFL game, the mommy blogger arrested for not being such a good mommy, the aliens presented in Mexico, religious polygamy, and legalized prostitution. 

The boys are joined by comedians Mark Hayes & Kalea McNeill for some dirty personal stories, light roasting, and day drinking. 

Dave Weasel expresses how he can't believe he can't go to Vegas and to an NFL game there without catching the Roni. Despite the disease, he talks about the 11.5 hour drive back to LA, Mrs. Coconuts, all while sounding like he's underwater (that's just his voice, not a technical difficulty)

Dave talks about OJ Simpson avoiding LA (and reflective surfaces) as to not meet 'who did it', GoPuff delivering 'adult toys', and getting caught vandalizing his own desk with disparaging remarks about his teacher

Dave Weasel is joined by comedians Kenan Kaya and Hector Resendez to talk about everything from incest in Iowa to sharting in the bed, and getting kicked out of a concert as a Canadian vs. a Mexican. 

Dave is back talking about recent live performance blunders, banning drag shows, Easter Jesus, and how anyone saying they're 5'10 is lying

Missouri Republican House nominee Anthony Rogers joins the boys to tag-team Dave's dirty socialist beliefs. It's a bloodbath. 

Turns out Dave's "man cold" is just pneumonia, but Brandon thinks he's dying anyway. The boys discuss fat shaming, politics, and play a game called 'California or Florida Man'. 

The boys talk about Brandon's experience as a crematorium operator, Dave's tales from standup, farts in the news, and "curators" making money by stealing jokes from comedians. 

Dave speculates on the superior being; the Sega Kid or the Super Nintendo Kid. Also talks about Bill Burr's movie Old Dads, 23andMe letdowns for white people, and first-time unsupervised internet access.

Infamous rock radio legend and club owner Dick Rivers joins the boys to be grilled about the $300 he stiffed Dave 10 years ago. 

The boys talk about their worst vacations, farting on airplanes, Brandon's DUI, and Ben Shapiro's tiny wood.

The boys talk about their worst relationships, filming public freak outs, and speculate on how Brandon would make an excellent drunk air marshal

The boys give advice on what to wear if you want people to avoid you, Nazis, and an assault with a bag of used needles 

We are back! Dave talks about his time as a college mascot, illustrates how there's no such thing as a free lunch, speculates on what the Pig People from the reality shows REALLY do, and the cast of characters you see at the DMV

In a solo episode, Dave goes over some recent headlines including an anti-vaxxer leading the "urine therapy" movement, Neil Young, a woman trying to buy a baby at Walmart, and a real life Weekend At Bernies

The boys get drunk on malt liquor people typically buy with change found in the couch, debate if wrestling matters, the election, and bad quarantine neighbors. 

In a new segment, Dave gives a history lesson of meth and goes through the wildest news stories involving the drug

Dave speculates the scene if Taylor Swift did the 'Tomahawk' at the Kansas City Chiefs game, if sports teams had 'insensitive' team names about western culture, when drinking in the morning is socially acceptable, and pre-planned excuses for dates.

Dave talks about the lack of a War on Christmas this year, Starbucks drinks testing his waistline, pro athlete salaries being justified, and some truly crazy headlines from the last week

The boys discuss Dave's foiled plot to start an Only Fans scheme, Brandon argues his prostitute habit over dating, Kim Jeong Newsom, and Biden's first two weeks. 

The boys speculate on how spontaneous orgies would be started in real life, carjackings, and how Dave suggested to a new NHL owner the dumbest team name possible.

The boys talk about corporations turned Pride Month into a branded holiday, the pointless Friends reunion, and how Dave catfished men on Tinder with his sister's picture to bring people to a comedy show.

The boys discuss meth use with Florida middle schoolers, breakups, being on speakerphone against your will, and taking unflattering naked pictures of yourself. 

Comedian Mark Normand joins the boys to talk about Comedy!, his new special Out To Lunch (on YouTube now), cancel culture, and Brandon's surgery where he got his ribs removed to suck his own...

The boys speculate on what some honest company slogans would be, including for Victoria’s Secret and dollar stores that sell pregnancy test, their first time cussing in front of their parents, and a man with no arms who stabbed someone

The boys talk about new bands stealing from old ones, breaking up with spouses after going to drug rehab, and Brandon ruining someone's marriage with his penis. 

The boys speculate on what made-up sports would be in the Florida Olympics, the cost of finding a 'sugar daddy', and first WTF moments during sex

While in full lockdown, the boys discuss hoarding cheap beer, being fat, and Brandon's tasteless jokes online. 

The boys talk about Joe Biden's victory and unsolicited sexual pictures from both genders.