Thriving In Motherhood Podcast | Productivity, Planning, Family Systems, Time Management, Survival Mode, Mental Health, Visio (Jessica Jackson)

Have you ever felt the need to speed up your child’s life? Like it’s some kind of race to cram in everything they need before they turn 18? Today’s conversation with Leslie Martino challenged my thinking about this in the best possible way.

Leslie has four kids (14, 12, and 10-year-old twins), and she shared something that hit home: older kids deserve a slow childhood too. We often talk about peaceful, slow living for little ones, but somewhere along the way, we forget that older kids are still kids.

In this week’s episode, we talked about some practical aspects of slow living with older kids like:

• How to say no to the right things 

• Finding a community with like-minded families

• Managing the balance between activities and home life

• Creating intentional check-in times with each child

If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by the pace of life with older kids, or if you’re approaching the teenage years and wondering how to maintain close connections, this episode is for you. Leslie shares so much wisdom about creating a life that reflects your values, even (and especially) as your kids grow older.

Tune in to hear our full conversation, including Leslie’s insights from her new book, The Joy of Slow: Restoring Balance and Wonder to Homeschool Learning. Whether you homeschool or not, her perspective on slowing down and staying connected with older kids is something every parent needs to hear.

This fall has been a very busy season for our family where we are stuck tackling things that are urgent. While it has been exhausting and at times felt like survival mode (some days have been 100% survival mode), I have learned some powerful lessons that are changing how I approach my days that I discuss in this week’s episode.

I’ve found myself living on razor-thin margins lately - where there’s just enough capacity for the scheduled things, but anything else feels impossible. Throughout this season, I’ve been learning some important lessons about how to make things work better, even when we’re at capacity:

• How a simple whiteboard is changing our family communication and getting everyone moving in the same direction

• What happened when I started letting my family help instead of running faster and faster by myself

• Why acknowledging our limitations (and communicating them to our kids) actually makes everything easier

• The mindset shift that’s helping me recognize I’m more capable than I think

• How simplifying and creating systems is slowly giving us more breathing room

All these lessons from our busy season are becoming part of something bigger - The Surviving to Thriving Toolkit.

After years of hearing, “I found your podcast - where do I start?”, I realize that all roads point to this toolkit. It will walk you through each stage of the journey from surviving to thriving, with real, practical help for wherever you are right now.

I’m also including a Family Systems Playbook with video walkthroughs of how we actually make things work in our home. Not because it’s the only way or even the best way, but because having a starting point can make such a difference when you’re trying to figure things out for your own family.

Right now I’m working on Win Your Week Academy (the Thriving phase) and in January I’ll start building out the other modules. I’m hoping to release the full toolkit in early 2025. If you want to be the first to know when it’s ready, you can join the waitlist at: thrivinginmotherhoodpodcast.com/toolkit.

I hope this episode helps you pause and think about where you are in your own life. Whether it’s hard, fast-paced, slow, or busy, there’s always something we can learn to move us forward. 

Last year I shared what our homeschool looked like and while all of it is still true, we've been adding new layers to our days. This is a full update of all that we've added into our days and the systems that we've developed over the last year.

One of the questions that has emerged for me as a mother with less physical energy than I’d like is, “What really matters when it comes to parenting?”

For a long time, my tactic was don’t engage if I can’t be nice or I can’t enforce (which has been the case off and on with challenging pregnancies or recovering from surgeries). But, as my kids get older, I realize that isn’t an effective long-term plan.

I came across The Collapse of Parenting which provided a lot of clarity as to where to focus my time, energy, and attention in parenting.

One of my first big takeaways came in the very first chapter, “Our job as parents is to pass on culture to our children.” If we let our kids learn the culture of their peers, it is one Irampant of disrespect. As a parent, my job is to decide what culture I want to pass on to my children and lead by example.

Check out this week’s episode for more of my favorite takeaways from the book and how it is shaping my day-to-day interactions with my kids.

I was feeling a bit discouraged with how disconnected I was with my kids. Honestly, that probably isn't true (I am with them all day, every day...) but I needed a way to create a new story for myself. Then one Sunday night on a zoom call with my family, we started sharing stories about my dad's mom. He ended our remembering with, "She really knew how to make you feel loved."

And that is what I realized I was seeking - not so much connect, but that atmosphere of love in our home that starts with me.

This weeks episode is all about two simple ways to create an atmosphere of love in the home.

Theresa is a mother of two and owner of Montessori In Real Life blog and Instagram. Today we're talking about how to take principles of the Montessori philosophy and applying them into our home. There are a lot of practical ideas as well as Theresa's own story of growth.

Key Points from this Episode:

• Montessori is providing an environment that allows children to be self-motivated, curious, and confident in their own abilities. They are respected for who they are individually, and, in return, learn to respect others.
• Having an open floor plan can allow family members to be together without needing to be doing the exact same thing.
• Having a kid-friendly house does not mean it cannot be beautiful and enjoyable for adults too.
• Montessori and home can be quite different from Montessori in the classroom.
• Foster the natural desire toddlers can have to want to clean up. 
• You can arrange a closet in your home similar to how a classroom would store their materials to make for easy rotation.
• How we show up for our kids really affects how the kids show up for the day.
• Making time to refresh ourselves away from our kids weekly makes a big difference in being able to give of ourselves to our children.

Connect with Theresa

Instagram: @montessoriinreallife

Website: montessoriinreallife.com

Resources

Montessori Home Tour

The Power of Showing Up by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson (affl link)

The Whole Brain Child by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson (affl link)

Montessori From The Start by Paula Polk Lillard and Lynn Lillard Jessen (affl link)

No Drama Discipline by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson (affl link)

I’m so excited to finally be sharing the conversation I had with Dawn Madsen of Dawn the Minimal Mom. By now, I’m sure you’ve heard of the concept of minimalism, but in this week's episode, we are talking about how Dawn’s faith has impacted her journey to having less things to manage.

We also talk about the legacy her parents left her that had nothing to do with managing stuff. For me, the biggest takeaway is hope that whatever our weaknesses and strengths are as moms, they can have a lasting impact on our children for the better.

Dawn often gets asked, “What’s the threshold?” when it comes to how much stuff to keep around. Her metric is that everyone should be able to manage their things - and for a two-year-old, that’s not going to be very much! 

If you’re just getting started and need a refresher, Dawn recommends starting in the kitchen and keeping just what you are currently using in this season of life. This will have the biggest impact on your days because it’s where families spend a lot of time every single day, and it makes life feel like it is under control when the kitchen is clean.

For more decluttering tips, check out the full episode.

Does anyone else have moments where it feels overwhelming, no matter how much progress you've made with your home?  I've been there the last few weeks, searching for a way through our upstairs bedrooms.

I've read dozens of books over the years about decluttering, organizing, and maintaining your home, but the reality is when I walk into a messy bedroom, I'm not sure what to do next and back away slowly.  

Then I look through the Ikea website for organizational furniture, google how far away the closest Ikea is (it's 2 hours - every time!) and then realize it's time to make the next meal.  

Well, after a breakdown (yep, it happened) follows a breakthrough, and in this week's episode, I'm sharing my recently developed framework that is empowering me to face these much-used rooms head-on!

This breakthrough led me to develop the four principles of creating a home that supports you: 

1. Simplify - remove what doesn't belong in the room or isn't being used.  You can throw it away, donate it, put it in a “time will tell” bin (thanks, Dawn @minimalmom), or put it in a different room of the house to deal with later.  The point is only to have what you use in that room left.
2. Assign Spaces - everything in the room needs a home, but this probably won't happen overnight.  This is a process of observing where things get left or piled up and creating homes right there or nearby that contains what might look like clutter.
3. Systematize - Establish when, how, and who will reset each aspect of your space.  There will be dozens of little systems running inside your home, but as you build them slowly, they will become automated habits.  Slow to stick!!
4. Personalize - if you are a natural decorator, obviously keep doing your thing when it works for you! But, for the rest of us, now is the time to make the space fit your style and reflect your values.  You want there to be a payoff for walking to a clean space that feels inviting to you - not cold and sterile. 

Each phase has a different focus and tactic to help you raise the standard of cleanliness in your home.  If you keep trying to do phases 1 and 2 in hopes of having a house that stays clean, you might experience fight or flight mode like me whenever anyone takes anything out of a closet.  

Moving through the phases takes time, and each room will probably be in a different phase - which is completely fine!  The hope is that you will be able to identify where each space is at so you know what to do when you enter the room and also see the progress you are making more clearly.

In the last year, my values around home and parenting have changed. As a result, my time and energy are shifting to things that I didn’t put as much effort into in my 20s. 

I’ve realized that my home can play an integral role in actively living out these ideals and reflects our most important values. 

When I created the Simplify to Soar Club a few years ago, my hope was that it would support me in becoming a Soaring Mother. Now I have more clarity about the work my home actually needs to do for us.

Listen to this week's podcast episode for more tips and ideas for creating a home that supports you. 

This week, I’m talking with Unymie Ogutuga @oliveandblisswellness about the three phases of rethinking motherhood. If you relate to feeling pressure to do and be more, this episode will give you a lot to think about.

Jessica is a military mother of three boys and podcast host of the Extraordinary Moms Podcast. She talks about finding who she wants to be as a person and the joy in the moments where you can see progress in yourself.

Key Points from this Episode:

• Night before prepping makes the next day so much smoother.
• When our kids lose it, we can make the choice not to lose it ourselves. We don't have to join the tantrum.
• We have to recognize that our children are each unique children of God and we are too. If we focus on staying calm and staying safe for our children, we can allow them to explore and figure themselves out while we adjust our parenting to each child's specific needs.
• Listen to our kids' feelings and let them be okay. We can coach our children to help them come up with plans for the hard times so they can do things as independently as they can. It can give them confidence to be able to work through their challenges they are faced with.
• We have to let our children see us problem solve our own struggles (on an age-appropriate level) or they won't know that it's normal to need to struggle.
• Are you cleaning the house to give you the right to complain when it gets messed up again, or cleaning because you love the feeling of a clean house. Pay attention to your motivations and evaluate what is working for you.
• Most of the time, it's not about what you're doing, but why you're doing it.
• Exhausted is not the same as depleted. Paying attention to how we are spending our energy can help keep us feeling good even as we are tired.
• It's okay to adjust the tasks to accomplish the value you are looking for. Look at the whys behind the activities you are doing. If the task is no longer adding the desired value to your life, make adjustments!
• Just because it's not working yet, doesn't mean it's not working. Play the long game.
• Taking the time to reflect and acknowledge our growth helps up recognize our own extraordinary lives. We are extraordinary, but a lot of times, we just don't take the time to notice.
• You are doing so much better than you think you are. You have grown so much more than you think you have.
• It is a skill to recognize that nothing lasts forever. We can live our lives more hopeful if we can remember that our challenges will be just for a moment.
• Close the background apps of your mind and see what's zapping your energy without your knowledge. Come back to them when you are in a better mental space and see how you can adjust your thinking for the future.

Resources

• Extraordinary Moms Podcast Episode 26: Dealing with Childhood Anxiety with Austin

When you’ve lost momentum in every area of your life, and it feels overwhelming because there is so much to do, what do you do? Often, the answer is to do a brain dump—write everything you can possibly think of on a piece of paper to clear your head. 

The problem is, what do you do after that? How do you actually gain the clarity you need to move forward? 

This last week, I sat down and prayerfully asked that question, and a new process unfolded that made it very clear where to put my time and energy to start making progress on the things that really mattered most to me, even though we were still sliding between survival mode and re-entry.

I thought about making it fancy, but in the end, I just used a Think and Process page in the Thriving in Motherhood planner to complete this entire process.

Steps For Clarity When There is Too Much to Do:

1. Brain Dump

2. Cross anything off the list that isn’t actually really important right now

3. What on your list has a next action step that is 5 minutes or less?

4. What on your list is urgent?

5. What progress have you made on each item (one box for started, two boxes for progress has been made, and three boxes for nearly done)?

6. Transfer the 5-minute or less next action steps, urgent items, and nearly done items from your list onto your weekly plan. 

For me, there were two next action steps, two urgent items, and two things I was nearly done with. This allowed me to get some quick wins and start to build momentum and bring excitement and joy back into everyday life. 

Watch this week's episode of the podcast for an in-depth walkthrough of this process and what made my list. 

For so long my goal was to get out of surviving motherhood and start thriving. But I discovered something wonderful. Thriving - growing - isn't the end of the road. Once you've built your foundation with the three pillars of thriving, Soaring awaits you. This weeks episode shares the path and vision of what is possible.

Elise Powell is a mother to three children who always has a entrepreneurial project in the works. Today she shares part of her journey to becoming content with her role as a mother as well as discovering her need find a new way to measure her growth and accomplishments.  This interview is full of wisdom about investing in your kids now and experiencing joy in the moment as well as looking to the future and seeing the potential for their family.

For years I’ve gotten up before the kids (or with the kids and let them play near me) while I do my morning routine to get myself in a good place. This is one of the ways I keep my Soul Pillar intact.

When I don’t do my morning routine, I find that it doesn’t take too long before I’m irritable, grumpy, and snappy at everyone around me. Now that I’m aware of that, this morning routine is one of the first things I put back in place when we are transitioning from the novelty and trips of summer back into our school year routines at home. 

In this week’s episode, I’m sharing exactly what I’ve done for my morning routine that sets me up for success.

My Morning Routine:

1. Free write about the last 24 hours: I write about anything that was meaningful and significant in the last 24 hours. This creates space in my brain. 

2. Answer questions in the Thriving in Motherhood Journal: I ask myself key questions in the Thriving in Motherhood Journal - What’s one thing that could make me feel successful at the end of the day? What’s one thing I could do to make tomorrow easier? What is something that might challenge me today, and how would my best self handle it?

3. Scripture study: I read my scriptures and write down a few passages and my thoughts about them.

4. Exercise: I usually do a Physique 57 workout.

5. Pray + Shower: I shower, pray, and write down any last thoughts that I have when I’m completely by myself and can ponder.

As we wrap up another year, I’ve noticed my technology use creeping up. Maybe you’re feeling it too - more scrolling, more shows, more social media. It’s easy to fall into, especially during the holidays. That is why in January, I like to combine two practices that set up my entire year for success: a technology reset and creating my vision for the new year.

Here’s why this matters: When we’re constantly connected, our brains don’t have the space to think deeply or receive new ideas. Whether you’re in survival mode, overwhelmed by your house, or trying to figure out how to make time for the things you want to do - reducing technology use can make a significant difference. I’ve been amazed how after just one week, my mind feels sharper and more focused - it’s like rediscovering how your brain is meant to work.

What does a technology reset look like? It’s different for everyone, but here are some key steps:

1. Start with your “why” - Get clear about your reasons for doing this

2. Write your yes and no list - What are your personal rules?

3. Set clear dates - I recommend a full 30 days

4. Create an environment that supports your goals

This isn’t about perfection or permanently giving up technology. It’s about creating the space to think clearly, connect meaningfully, and set intentions for your year ahead.

If you’d like to join me in January, I’ll be sharing weekly encouragement and practical tips throughout the podcast. Whether you decide to go all in or create modified rules that work for your life, the key is to make them clear and doable for you.

Want to pair this with creating your vision for 2025? You can find the Create Your Vision Mini Course at thrivinginmotherhood.com/vision.

I hope this will help you start 2025 with clarity and intention.

Sarah Machado has been living with postpartum depression or bipolar disorder for the duration of her motherhood experience.  As an incredible mother of three young children, she shares how she manages each day as well as wisdom for working with her spouse to face the challenges that come with chronic mental illness and being clear about her priorities and personal abilities and limitations.   

Today we talk about how to embrace our kids having a normal, messy childhood and what we can do as parents to make things easier on us as parents. Don't forget to join our free Love Your Life Challenge!

Key Points from this Episode:

• Being in nature and being messy is important to our kids' development.
• Buying clothes from thrift stores or Walmart makes all clothes play clothes and takes the stress off keeping things stain-free.
• Having a rain suit and rain boots keeps the kids from getting cold and wet while still enjoying the water play. They will play longer and happier and be able to just come in and strip off the top layer and be ready to keep playing inside without a total wardrobe change.
• A waterproof art smock works wonders on art projects, but also daily needs like helping with dishes. It takes the stress out of letting your kids help!

Resources

Tuffo Muddy Buddy Rain Suit

Waterproof Art Smock

Today I’m sharing how I involve the kids in cleaning our home - how we do it, why we do it, and what we use. We are going beyond picking up or tidying and addressing things like scrubbing toilets and mopping floors. 

(My kids are ages 9, 7, 5, and 2.5 for reference, but this is something I’ve done with them since they were babies) 

Here are the four phases of getting kids to clean at home that we use:

1. Watch me do it.

2. Do it with me.

3. Do it with me watching you.

4. Do it yourself.

Working through the phases starts when my kids are crawling around on the floor and pulling themselves up on the dyer to “help” put wet clothes in. Doing it themselves emerges years later. 

This process is a long game, but also about more than just making sure the house gets clean. We use the time to talk with each other, sing songs, and instill values of working together, putting our “big rocks” first (from 7 Habits of Highly effective people), and contributing to our family.

It’s important that my kids know that cleaning at home is just part of life - no matter what your family situation or job is. 

But don’t think that things are going perfectly in my home. My kids are still kids and get lost on their way from their beds to the kitchen to do their jobs and end up fighting with their siblings before they have food in their stomachs.

Most mornings, I find myself saying, “If you are in the right place at the right time doing the right thing, you will avoid a lot of problems.”

This is a principle that applies to so many life scenarios, but one that I use throughout the day to remind the kids that instead of engaging in whatever the problem is, the problem literally goes away when they are in the right place, at the right time, doing the right thing.

It’s also one I use to encourage myself when I feel like escaping or hiding instead of sticking to our family rhythms and routines - and then reward myself with more time outside.

Tune into this week's episode to hear more about what’s working in our home and some tips you can use today.

And, on a practical level, I have switched to using Force of Nature for the last 1.5 years for all cleaning - from washing toilets to mopping floors to wiping baseboards and door knobs - because it’s safe for my kids to use. You can get 40% off a starter bundle with the code LOVEFON here.

I’ve started this year by reading a lot from many different genres and areas of interest. Today, I’m sharing six of the books I read in January and my takeaways from each.

How To Grow Your Small Business

Awaking Wonder

Hidden Potential

Habits of the Household

The Psychology of Money

The Penderwicks on Gram Street

There is a lot of focus on time management and being productive. As a mom, I find that managing time can be inconsistent, which for me, is incredibly demotivating. The great news is that there are other things we can focus on to accomplish what matters to us. 

For me, that is homeschooling, my kids, working on projects together around the house, having time each day to study scriptures, journal, and pray, adventuring as a family, and running Thriving in Motherhood.

In this episode, learn the secret to making space for what matters to you!

Brinn Bagely Chipman grew up in a mountain valley and has since made her home in 6 different countries, with travel to and around many more in between. Something in her comes alive facing the unfamiliar and unknown, trying to understand the earth and all her people. While grieving through the loss of two babies during pregnancy, she and her husband decided to recommit to living a life of adventure with their two young girls, which now looks like adventure schooling. Today's episode delves into Brinn's empowering story of growth.

Whether you are exhausted, depressed, sick, burned out, or just want a break, in today's episode I'll be sharing my #1 tip that I've used for the last 10.5 years of motherhood to get me through the day when I need some space we still have the day to spend together.

The solution has two parts: Go outside and do something creative.

When my kids were little and we lived in an apartment, this looked like bringing things I could do with my hands to the playground: whittle spoons or animals out of sticks or scrap wood, crochet blankets, make shoes out of leather, or peel apples to make applesauce. 

As my kids got older and we now live in a home, this often looks like doing house projects. Recently we've done major updates in our garden, built a retaining wall, made a bed frame, cut out wood animals for the kids to carve with friends, and we are currently building a rock climbing wall in the garage. 

Always I've played instruments, often outside, for a low-energy creative option. A ukulele, guitar, or fiddle is a convenient option to grab and go to the great outdoors. 

No matter what season of motherhood I'm in, the result has been the same. 

Everyone was happier once we stepped outside. Fighting decreases. The kids get engaged in good play. I get some space and a break from having people touch me. And creativity brings some joy and satisfaction into my day, no matter how tired or crummy I feel.

The thing I wasn't expecting was just how creative my kids would become from watching me over the years. There is never a dull moment at our house. Someone is always making something, or playing an instrument, and they are usually outside.  

Andrew and I celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary last week. We sat down and reflected on 10 lessons we've learned in the last 10 years and shared them on this weeks podcast episode. We've done a lot of growing! What are your best lessons learned in your marriage?

This Christmas season I've been reflecting on how God wants to help me in my life. I share some of my thoughts and insights on this weeks podcast and I hope it gives you hope and something to ponder about in your own life.

Katie Larsen is a mother to three little children and she shares her growth and transformation through the different seasons of motherhood.  She describes the period of humble surrender that occurred after a challenging pregnancy and parenting in a way that she knew wasn't what it should be.  This episode is full of incredible paradigm shifts that had me taking notes throughout the entire interview.  

Alisa is the mother of many children.  She and her husband began early in the  marriage as foster parents and were able to adopt a few of the many children they fostered.  They also have biological children of their own.  Alisa share some of the greatest joys and sorrows that come with being a foster parent.  She also talks about how she is using her talents to cultivate her own growth as well as bless her family through homeschooling.  She share her realistic perspective about what being a foster parent entails.

Do you ever find yourself responding to your children in ways that don’t align with the parent you want to be? As I navigate through pregnancy with our fifth child while homeschooling through Georgia’s cold winter days, I’ve found myself struggling with patience and tone - especially when cabin fever sets in.

In this weeks episode, I open up about:

• One parenting skill I’m trying to master right now.
•  
• How a moment of frustration with one of my kids led to an unexpected heart-to-heart.
•  
• The simple, yet profound principles of maintaining respect even when kids make bad choices.
•  
• Why this approach encapsulates so much of what I’ve learned from countless parenting books.

I’m not sharing this as someone who’s mastered respectful parenting - far from it! This is my real-time journey of growth alongside my children, inspired by divine guidance when I needed it most.

For those feeling stuck in reactive patterns or discouraged by family tensions, this episode offers a gentle reminder that parenting provides endless opportunities to grow beyond our automatic responses.

It is so easy to fall into the "all I do is.." trap. 

You fill in the blank - change diapers, drive kids to school and activities, feed people, nurse the baby, chase after the toddler. No matter the season of motherhood you are in, there are things that we do over and over again. And when we start to think that it is all we do, we can start to feel miserable and resentful of the people we love the most. 

The antidote is simple but incredibly powerful: do a monthly review. 

Even after 7 years of this 10-minute exercise, I am still surprised at how it changes my perspective and how I feel about my life. 

In this week's episode, I'm sharing my findings from my most recent review in April and show you how you can do it yourself too.

5 Questions To Ask In a Monthly Review:

1. What have I discovered or learned this month?

2. What have I accomplished?

3. Where have we gone?

4. What significant things happened in our family?

5. What books have I read or listened to (or podcasts or shows if that is the season you are in)?

When you ask these questions you can see how rich your life actually is. And you can begin to build momentum and keep the progress going. 

When you see you read a book - you are a reader! What else can you read? When you see you've made progress on projects or goals you can feel motivated to take the next baby steps. When you discover or learn something you realize just how interesting this life is and wonder what else there is to learn. When you see all the places you've gone it is easier to get out of the house again.

And when you record the significant things in your family you realize why your house is in the state it's in...or maybe more accurately, how great you are really doing as you invest in these people and relationships.

And if you discover that you don't have much to write about, you will have a clearer picture of WHY which brings much more compassion, grace, and understanding as well as gives you clues on how to move forward.

You can do this in the Thriving in Motherhood Planner on the monthly review page so you don't even have to remember that a month has gone by - you just do it when the page shows up - or in a notebook or journal you already use. 

If you want to do it with someone to celebrate your progress and plan what you are going to focus on for the next 30 days with some accountability, come join us in Soaring Mother's Society where we share our monthly reviews in small groups.

Today I’m sharing a delightful conversation that I had with Erin Loechner author of, “The Opt Out Family.” Erin and I dive into what it really means to create a low-tech family life and explore practical ways to reduce technology’s grip on your home while cultivating richer, more meaningful alternatives that both parents and children genuinely enjoy. This is longer than my usual episodes, but the conversation was just too good to cut anything out! 

In this conversation, Erin shares:

• Her journey from social media influencer to intentionally stepping away from screens

• Simple ways to bring her family motto to life in your home

• Practical ideas for discovering what truly delights your children

• How to earn your children’s trust and respect in a digital world

• What it looks like to opt INTO wonder, creativity, and human connection

I hope this episode gives you plenty to think about as you consider technology’s role in your family life. If reducing technology use in your life is something you’re considering, I have a free gift for you! My Technology Fast Workbook guides you through a 30-day break from technology. You’ll create your own personal rules, set up your environment for success, and learn how to reflect on the experience to make lasting changes. This isn’t just a temporary challenge - it’s a way to become truly intentional about technology’s place in your family and discover what matters more!

Get it HERE.

Today we're talking all about Quarterly Reviews! They are wonderful for when your brain feels so full that you don't know what the next step is. They can bring perspective to uncertain times and help focus the next stage of life.

Key Points from this Episode:

• Quarterly Reviews are so great to help empty your brain and plan for the next chunk of time.
• Start by reviewing anything you wrote down at the beginning of the year. Things like your vision, goals, habits (if you have them).
• Review your last 30 days
  • Write down what you've discovered or learned.
  • Write down what you've accomplished.
  • Write some highlights that have happened to or with your family.
  • Write down what books or podcasts you've read or listened to.
  • Write down where you went (even if it's just on walks around the neighborhood).
• Ask yourself what went well in the last 90 days. There is something that is going well, even in the toughest times.
• Be honest (but not mean) about what didn't go well in the last 90 days.
• What progress did you make on your goals? What goals are no longer relevant? What other goals emerged? What goals will I focus on this upcoming quarter?
  • Think about "becoming" goals like being patient, being kind, not yelling, etc.
  • If you're feeling more on top of things, take advantage of the new freedom in your schedule! Be creative with what's in front of you right now for the next 90 days.
• Decide what's most important for you to be excited about and focus on in the next quarter.
  • Connecting with your kids every day, cleaning up your home, starting a creative project to keep your hands busy, scripture study etc.
• Ask what do you want to stop doing and what do you want to start doing.
  • Set limits on apps or other electronics that you are spending more time on than you want to be.
• Rate yourself on a scale of 1-10 in the following areas. Ask yourself why and if there is anything you can do to bump yourself up the scale just a little bit.
  • Intellectual
  • Social
  • Emotional
  • Avocational
  • Physical
  • Vocational
  • Marital
  • Financial
  • Parental
  • Spiritual

Resources

2020 Planner

Thriving in Motherhood Journal

How I Go on Vacation Every Day

I read close to 100 books in 2024, and I'm excited to share my favorite book recommendations across different genres! From classic books to literary fiction, I've curated selections that align with my reading goals and support a positive motherhood mindset. Join me for this comprehensive book review that will inspire your next great read!

Children's Literature

The Penderwicks: https://amzn.to/49joJrb

National Parks Mystery Series: https://amzn.to/49hS9WQ

Ruby Holler: https://amzn.to/3ZgakYv

Classic Literature

Adam Bede: https://amzn.to/3B8YWW7

Middlemarch: https://amzn.to/4gbVqt5

Biography/Memoir

Romney A Reckoning: https://amzn.to/49jvHfO

Farewell To Manzanar: https://amzn.to/49fRRjk

Self Help

I Will Teach You To Be Rich: https://amzn.to/3ZxVnSY

Find Your People: https://amzn.to/3ZyrUbx

The Miracle Morning: https://amzn.to/3VikZkc

10x is Easier Than 2x: https://amzn.to/41eZTXv

Choose Your Story, Change Your Life: https://amzn.to/3Oxta8v

Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: https://amzn.to/49eUTUM

Let it Go: https://amzn.to/3BheOG3

The Body Keeps Score: https://amzn.to/4ijcrU7

I’ve been decluttering my house for years, working through all the layers of things we have. A few weeks ago, I opened a bin of extra bags, backpacks, and soft luggage and figured I could let these things go since it’s been a while since I’ve used them.

But then I remembered all the times we DID use them, how useful they were, and all the times in the future that they could come in handy. I put the lid back on the box and decided to deal with it later. 

As I was mulling over the content of the box a few days later, I had an epiphany about the real reason I wasn’t ready to let these things go.

We hold onto extra stuff when we don’t have a system for how we will do things. Because I don’t have a clear system for all the aspects of how we travel as a family, I hold onto more bags and travel items, “just in case” or “grab and go,” without giving it lots of thought.

Is this okay? Yep! But it’s also a challenge for me that I’m excited to keep plugging away at. Developing more systems not only for traveling but for lots of areas of our home and life. 

Once we know how we’ll do something - like the toiletries bags we will use when we make stops in hotels on our road trips - and what and where everything goes in it - then I can confidently get rid of the excess. 

There are lots of possible systems you can develop in your family and home to make things run more smoothly, but I want to encourage you that you don’t need too many in place for you to be able to move forward and spend time on the things you love.

Here are five systems that I recommend starting with:

1. Laundry

2. Dishes

3. Meals

4. Wake-up

5. Bedtime

If you decide the who, what, where, and when in each of these areas, you are already on your way to having your days go a lot smoother. Once these are good enough - not perfect - it’s time to move on to exploring! 

You can learn more about that on the 5-Step Path From Surviving to Thriving and where you are on it with my free checklist. And if you need help building family systems that are unique to you and your needs, check out my program, Made to Soar: Next 90 Days.

In this episode, I talk about where to start to get the house back on track after a Survival Mode season. I share my rhythms and systems that have helped me and my kids know what to expect when we are transitioning from full-blown Survival Mode back into "normal" life.

Key Points from this Episode:

• It's OK to make intentional choices to let things like housework go when we are in survival mode, but we need to pick up the pieces when we are able to.
• Start with prayer. Then listen to the promptings of where to start.
• "Home Blessing Hour" every week for concentrated time to take care of the house.
• Go room by room. Garbage to the trash bag. Clothes to the laundry basket. Everything that doesn't belong into a basket. Put those items away. Sweep/vacuum the floor.
• Set timers for short increments to get bursts of cleaning focus from our children.
• Consider having some major incentives for after the house gets put back together.
• Talk with your children while you clean. Use it as a chance to bond as a family.

Have you ever struggled to make mom friends? It seems to be a universal struggle to go from being friendly to having an actual friendship. How do you go from surface level play ground chats to having someone you would call any time of the day for advice, cheerleading, or help with dinner? In this weeks episode I'm sharing the secret to creating fast friendships - courtesy of my friend @phoebe.cook after a conversation we had last week talking about how all of our mom friendships have started.

Do you ever feel bored as a mom? Do you have full, busy days, but at the end of them, you don’t feel fulfilled? Are you bummed because you don’t feel like you’re able to make progress on the things you want to do? 

I’ve been there, and in this week’s podcast episode, we talk about what to do when you find yourself in this place.

The very first step to getting out of this rut is getting more clarity about what matters to you by creating your vision for the year. Until you know who you want to be and what you want to do, it is going to be very challenging to change feeling bored, bummed, or busy. 

This isn’t going to be a one-and-done thing, either. For me, it has become a yearly practice where I brain dump, reflect on the previous year and work through a process of uncovering where I need to focus my time and energy.

2023 is just around the corner and if you’re ready to have your best year ever, come join us for the Create Your Vision Challenge. This is designed specifically for mothers with children at home who want to soar!

This challenge is even more fun when you invite some friends to join you. This not only provides accountability but year-long support and deeper friendships as you work to make your visions a reality together. 

I invite you to send this email or the podcast episode to a few friends and join us in creating a vision for your most purposeful year yet! 

Sign up here! 

A few years ago, I saw this idea of a Big 5 from @farmhouseschoolhouse, and we adopted it immediately into our home with tiny children. I’ve mentioned it on the podcast before, but a friend reached out with some excellent questions about what the kids and I do for our Big 5, when we have to finish them by, and what we do if someone doesn’t complete their Big 5.

This week’s episode of the podcast answers all of these and more!

Catherine Picon needed major abdominal surgery during her third pregnancy and brain surgery at the end of her fifth pregnancy. In this episode she shares those experiences and her journey of growth.

Rosie is a mother of three girls (ages 7, 6, and 4) and author of Congratulations! It's Cancer A Memoir. Today we talk about her personal experience with cancer, homeschooling, and learning not to yell. She was born in Utah but raised in Kansas City, Missouri. She has her bachelor's degree in Marriage and Family Therapy and met her husband while getting her Cosmetology License. She loves writing, chocolate, and collecting pretty books!

Key Points from this Episode:

• Homeschooling can give kids a voice in their own education. It allows you to follow their natural motivation.
• Listen to what you're kids are interested in, and then pull in curriculum that relates to what they love. They will learn so much more!
• You don't have to teach everything yourself, even if you homeschool! There are so many resources you can turn to and be an example of how to learn something you don't know.
• Rosie's molar pregnancy resisted all the regular treatments and at some point in the process of multiple D&Cs, light chemo, heavy chemo, surgery to remove 1/4 of her uterus was determined that the molar pregnancy was actually cancer.
• Hearing from the doctor "this isn't going to be a normal pregnancy" lead Rosie to think it might be a baby with disabilities, but she never thought they could have meant cancer.
• The strong marital support that came from her husband helped pull Rosie through the challenges she faced in dealing with the cancer.
• Rosie felt through the cancer her lack of control over aspects of her life. It's helped her to focus more on the choices she can make, rather than the circumstances that she could control.
• Teaching our kids to ask questions when they don't understand opens the door for teamwork in your family to face problems together.
• Changing how we see our kids can affect how we parent. We can let them be full participants in the family.
• We can control our behavior and the environment in our homes and can help teach expectations, but cannot control our children's behaviors.
• Your child knows where they need to be independent and it's your job to foster that independence in ways that are healthy and appropriate.

In our family, birthday season is upon us! We have four fall birthdays leading right up to Thanksgiving. Our life circumstances up to this point have made simple birthday celebrations a necessity, but we've created traditions to still make them meaningful.

Cleaning my home with my children has always been my number one priority. When they were babies this looked like using cleaning supplies that would be safe while they were in a baby carrier on me. As they were toddlers, it meant they could clean with me, and I wasn't worried about what they were touching. As they get older it means having materials I'm confident they can use safely by themselves. 

But knowing that this is what I wanted and executing it were two different things. In this week's episode, I'm sharing all the things I've tried and what worked, what didn't work, and what we are doing now that has been the right fit for us.

I tried many things over the years. The first was to walk through the cleaning aisle at the store to find the products we needed. But due to overwhelm (the number of options, not knowing which products were actually safe, and calculating the expense of it all), I always walked out of there with nothing. This also meant that for years, the actual cleaning in our home was minimal because I was so worried about picking the wrong thing.

My friend Hannah (we were neighbors in grad student housing - true friendship is formed in not ideal living conditions) created a course called Simple Green Cleaning (not available right now) that taught me how to clean the majority of my house with a few basic ingredients like baking soda, vinegar, and dish soap. I thoroughly enjoyed feeling confident cleaning my house and mixing up what I needed when I needed it. But when I started teaching my kids how to do it, they were so inspired by the process that they created their own cleaning supplies by mixing soaps, shampoo, conditioner, and lotions, and it made a pretty big mess. This didn't quite work with my purpose of cleaning with my kids.

A few years ago, we decided to try Force of Nature, which is completely safe for skin, disinfects, and can be used on all surfaces. It has been a game-changer. We have ONE cleaning product we use on EVERYTHING.

It makes it simple to teach our children how to use it (plus they LOVE the process of making it and never complain when I ask them to clean) and I never have to worry about what they are breathing in or is touching their skin. 

While I haven't done a petri dish test to confirm how well it disinfects surfaces, but it cleans well enough to remove all smells and clean surfaces, so that is good for me! When it comes to my main priority of cleaning with my kids, this one checks all of the boxes.

If you want to try Force of Nature yourself, you can get a discount with this link:

Force of Nature

Get 40% off bundles in April with code: PLANET40

Get 60% off Cleaning and Laundry Duo Bundles with PLANET60

Merry Christmas!! Today, I talk about choosing to walk in the light rather than darkness during times of trial. 

Key Points from this Episode:

• Angels are helping us in our times of trial even if we don't notice them. 
• Our thought patterns are like waking through tall grass. Our typical patterns are well-worn paths and are easy to walk through. It takes effort to try a new path, but you can do it!
• Read the questions to ask God. Open the scriptures and read a few verses. Then review and ponder the questions and see where the Spirit guides your thoughts.
• Hone in on what is in your circle of influence.
• Accept what phase of the Surviving to Thriving Framework you are in (Surviving, Re-Entry, Normalizing, Exploring, or Thriving). Own it and don't try to keep a foot in the door in phases you aren't really in right now!
• Oftentimes when our circumstances get bigger than ourselves, contentment can be the first thing to go. Peace can go out the door right with it.
• Accept the circumstances for what they are and remember they are temporary. It will help you find peace and contentment where you are.
• I can find peace and contentment right now. I can feel satisfaction and successes with what I am doing right now. I can feel gratitude and joy right now. Even when things are so so so hard. And that absolutely comes from being taught how to walk in the light. 
• We have so much help.  We have so much love. We have so much support from God and from Jesus Christ and so many others.
• It takes work to choose to keep fighting to stay in your circle of influences, but you can do it!

This is the first conversation with Madeline Casey in a series about the principles from 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.  We talk about the emotional bank account and how it applies to our relationships with our children, spouses, and ourselves.  Madeline shares her self care schedule to keep her own balance high so she can keep filling others.  At the end of this episode you will have ideas to apply in your life today as well as to teach to your children. 

Today we are talking about how to ask for help and some of the principles about why and assurance that it's okay to ask for help! We all need it.

Key Points from this Episode:

• Asking for help can be hard, and that's okay!
• Helping others feels wonderful, so remember it's okay to be on both sides of the helping. If we love helping others, it can be a huge blessing to others to let them help us.
• The bar for getting help and asking for help is way, way, WAY lower than we think it is.
• Interdependence helps lift everyone involved way farther than independence can. 
• Allowing the interdependent relationships to develop allows everyone to get help even when things aren't in pure survival, but even have help with the lesser, but still hard times.
• We have to fight that lie that independence is the end-all be-all. Especially in motherhood.
• Sometimes we have to be brave and ask for help so we can start cracking down our walls of independence and open the door for them to feel comfortable asking for help from you.
• In some times of your life, there will be not be as much give and take and you will just need to be served. Know that in another season, you will get to serve when you are capable.
• When you need A LOT of help, ask a lot of different people so you don't strain friendships. It's scary to ask more people, but spread it around when the help that is needed is ongoing.
• Be specific with what you need help with.
• Notice what lifts you up and practice doing that more in your daily life.

Resources

Thriving in Motherhood Podcast Episode 5 with Chelsea Homer

This week Jessica Jackson discusses how she is trying to make home a place where she feels "at home" and nurtured, as well as her children.  She also talks about a few key moments and resources that have shaped her priorities and vision of motherhood, including incorporating principles of positives psychology into their days and helping her children develop a relationship with God.

Today, we are talking about ways to create space in our lives. When we take the time to clear out mental space, we can make room to think ahead and prepare for the upcoming year!

Key Points from this Episode:

• What is on your list to help you create space?
• Consider:
  • Physical space
  • Process Paperwork
  • Setting Boundaries for Social Media Usage
  • Reading Books that have been on your List
  • Take a Break from Work 
  • Focus on Your Relationship with God
• Look for finding balance, not on a daily or weekly level, but zoom out and make sure your yearly priorities are reflected in your yearly accounting of your time.
• If we don't take time to empty out, then we are more likely to want to escape. Instead, work to create a life that you don't want to escape from.

I’ve been getting questions after the focus on how to merge effective mom planning with planning with your spouse. Andrew and I sat down after we tucked the kids into bed this week and talked about what planning looks like for us in our marriage which I hope will inspire you.

But first, let’s get some misconceptions out of the way:

Misconception #1: We Plan the Same Way

Nope! Andrew has his own style of planning that works for his work schedule and keeping his priorities in check.

Misconception #2: We are good at weekly, monthly, quarterly, and annual planning together.

Also, no. We are pretty great at weekly planning (we rarely skip). We are good at doing annual reviews together. Anything beyond that is superb, but we really haven’t been consistent over the last 13 years of marriage. I hope that encourages you. You only need to be pretty good at one thing to have a huge impact in your marriage and family life.

Misconception #3: We follow a clear checklist and it’s the same every time.

Negative. We have fine-tuned what we cover and we adjust it based on how much time and energy we have and how unusual the week is.

In this week’s podcast episode, we’re pulling back the curtain on our real-life planning process. 

You’ll discover: 

• The story of how our weekly planning tradition began

• What actually makes it into our shared planning agenda

• Our individual prep work (and how much we actually share)

• A peek into our typical planning session

• Why these weekly check-ins matter (and what happens when we skip them)

Whether you’re just starting out or looking to refresh your approach to planning with your spouse, I think you’ll find something helpful in this episode.

Every month, I write down the books I read or listened to. Today, I’m sharing my 12 favorites that I read this year from a wide variety of topics and subjects. 

Reading lots of books has allowed me to actively learn while being a stay-at-home mom. When designing a planner for my needs, keeping track of the books I read or listened to each month was an essential piece. 

Why? Two reasons: it helped me to read more because I wanted to be able to write things down AND to remember all that I’ve read, learned, and enjoyed. A Books Read section is still in the official Thriving in Motherhood Planner in the monthly review.

You can get your 2024 planner today and have it arrive by Christmas!

Here are my 12 favorite books of 2023:

1. How to Break up with your phone: https://amzn.to/3sDNw8J

2. The Coddling of the American Mind: https://amzn.to/49L62g8

3. What Happened to You?: https://amzn.to/3unnc3b

4. Habits of a Household: https://amzn.to/3GchGmo

5. Love Life and See Good Days: https://amzn.to/3sy10Tv

6. Grace Where you Are: https://amzn.to/47Dwcj1

7. Good Inside: https://amzn.to/3uo8bOu

8. The Richest Man in Babylon: https://amzn.to/49BzWDk

9. My Side of the Mountain: https://amzn.to/3SPyXJR

10. On the Far Side of the Mountain: https://amzn.to/47m0zKX

11. The Anatomy of Peace: https://amzn.to/49InIZA

12. The Outward Mindset: https://amzn.to/3MRUxK5

I’d love to know your best book recommendations from this year to add to my 2024 reading list! 

Caitlin Spencer spent years closely observing and learning from other mothers before becoming a mother to her sweet little girl. She shares the wisdom and priorities that she is working to establish in her own home from ending the day listing all the qualities she sees in her daughter to how she is teaching her that other people matter. 

Today I'm taking you behind the scenes of the Soaring Mothers Summit and sharing some of the miracles and the lessons I learned. This was an opportunity to strengthen my faith and trust in God in very real ways.

This weeks chat with @elizabethjacox_ is a story of six years of internal struggle shifting from a life in academia researching stem cells to becoming a full time stay at home mom with four young children. It was a major pivot point in her life, and it wasn't until she decided to own that choice that she could let go of feelings of failure and embrace the beautiful life around her. This conversation is sure to both validate the life altering (and maybe slightly traumatic) experience of becoming a mother and inspire ownership of the incredible path.

We just got back a few weeks ago from our cross-country road trip, spending 60 hours in the car. Roadtripping for 3-5 days is a huge undertaking! In this episode, I share my best tips and systems for going on long road trips with children. This is our second time making the drive, and we solved many pain points for a much smoother experience.

Knowing everything won’t go perfectly, and everything will still be okay takes the pressure off. A problem-solving mindset keeps hope alive and allows you to live in your circle of influence. I hope these tips help make your next road trip smoother!

When I was pregnant with my fourth baby, I learned something fascinating about labor – in between contractions, our bodies release oxytocin, flooding us with feel-good hormones. This completely changed my birth experience because I started focusing on these moments of relief instead of just anticipating the next contraction.

This principle, when we choose to magnify applies to every season of motherhood. Whether you’re navigating toddler tantrums, teenage conversations, pregnancy challenges, or relationship struggles, we can choose what we focus on.

In this episode, I dive into:

• Why our brains naturally focus on the negative

• How magnifying the hard moments can seep into our relationships

• The difference between acknowledging difficult seasons and letting them consume us

• Practical ways to start noticing and appreciating the good moments

• How to train your brain to look for what’s going well
  

Whether you’re in the trenches of morning sickness, managing strong-willed toddlers, or navigating big kid challenges, the conversation will help you find more joy in your days without denying the hard parts.

And, don’t forget to grab the free five-step path from surviving to thriving checklist to help you identify where you are on the path and what you can do 

One of the commonly talked about concepts in motherhood circles is being lost in motherhood. It can strike at any season - when you first have a baby and have no clue what life looks like; when you have many kids or a full schedule and no time for you and the things you enjoy slips through the cracks; when you're kids grow up and leave the home and you don't know who you are or what you will do with all of the time that you spent devoted to your home and family. Whether you currently feel lost in motherhood or are afraid of finding yourself there, this weeks episode will help you figure out what to do.

Alissa Hankin is a curly-haired mother of a three-year-old boy living in South Hampton, England. She shares her experiences with stress, tragedy, change, and growth and how God plays a role in her life. She teaches about taking care of her body and mind and using Faith Journaling to take care of her soul.

The transition from quarter 1 to quarter 2 here from March to April is one of my absolute favorites because we’re not coming off major holidays, our routines are set for the next little while, school schedules are still flowing, and the weather’s warming up! It’s such a perfect time to reset in a couple of different ways.

In this episode I’ll walk you through:

• A complete RESET framework for reviewing your vision for the year

• How I’m decluttering  my digital life – including my email inbox, phone apps, and Google Drive folders

• My approach to physical spaces now that I realize my home should work, even when I’m not my best

I’m sharing all my real-time discoveries about what’s actually working in my life right now – practical tips you can implement even during busy seasons. You’ll hear exactly how I’m setting up systems that don’t require me to be at full capacity to maintain a peaceful home.

This isn’t perfection – it’s about taking these little windows of opportunity to make tiny changes that create big results over time.

Ready to make progress on your own reset? Click HERE to grab a checklist of everything we’re covering so you can start making progress right away! 

Resources

Thriving in Motherhood Planner: https://pages.thrivinginmotherhoodpodcast.com/wyw-page-5620

Technology Fast Workbook: https://pages.thrivinginmotherhoodpodcast.com/technology-fast

Create Your Vision Workbook and Mini-Course: https://thrivinginmotherhoodpodcast.com/vision/

Episode 218: How to Start a Prayer Journal https://thrivinginmotherhoodpodcast.com/starting-a-prayer-journal-episode-218/

Tiago Forte Email System: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uXdEVeoGRRc&t=287s&ab_channel=TiagoForte

Have you ever had the feeling of excitedly buying a planner and using it with great enthusiasm in the beginning but after a few days, weeks, or maybe even months, it starts to collect dust and end up in the back of the closet?

Or, maybe it’s led to paralyzing planning guilt, and you’ve abandoned the exercise entirely and sworn off buying planners.

In this week’s episode, I talk about what it looks like to use a planner in different seasons of motherhood. Spoiler alert: sometimes there are a lot of blank pages, and that’s okay!

Your planner is meant to support you, not give you anxiety or guilt! Depending on where you are in your life and your motherhood journey, there are so many ways to approach planning that make your life better. 

I’ve found there are four phases when it comes to planning. These work best when you’re using the Thriving in Motherhood Planner, but you can also implement them into your planning system.

4 Phases of Planning in Motherhood

1. Reality check - This is a great place to start if you’re out of the habit of planning or in an intense season of survival. This includes a monthly review to celebrate what you accomplished, learned, places you went, things you did with your family, and books you read. This helps you see all that you’ve accomplished and track the important milestones in your life. 
2. Management - This is what we typically focus on when we think of planning. This would be writing down your appointments, context-based to-dos, meals, think and process pages, and brain dumps. 
3. Momentum - This is a more proactive phase of planning and includes a monthly planning session at the beginning of each month and a weekly Big 3. This planning phase allows you to look ahead to where you want to go and plan to get there in small steps.
4. Alignment - This phase would include using all of the Thriving in Motherhood Planner systems and living your life in alignment with your vision and goals. In this phase, you are doing a quarterly review, setting your intentions for the day with a daily Big 3, deciding on a weekly focus, and tracking the habits you want to create. 

When you have to pause and set your planner aside, don’t panic! You will be able to pick it back up and jump right back in when it’s time. 

The goal is to have the support and resources you need in your planning. The Thriving in Motherhood Planner is designed to scale up and down to support you in every season of motherhood. 

Are you surviving or so busy you just wake up and take things as they come? Perfect! Use the planner to Reality Check once a month and celebrate all that happened.

Are you ready to think one step ahead and know where you will be or what everyone will eat for dinner? Adding in Management will help you take care of that.

Do you have projects or goals you want to work toward? Then, you’re ready for Momentum and giving monthly planning and a weekly Big 3 a try.

Are you ready to intentionally align your time and energy with the things that matter most to you? In Alignment, it’s time to add quarterly reviews, daily big 3s, a weekly focus, and habit tracking. 

You might switch from week to week or month to month with how you use your planner. That’s completely normal! The important thing is to know it’s normal and that your planner is a TOOL that is here to support you, not rule over you.

If you’re ready to start, it’s not too late to get your 2023 Thriving in Motherhood Planner today! Click here to learn more.

Today we're talking about how to work from home with kids around. This applies to all types of work we might do from home, whether that's a side-gig, projects, or full-time (but now from home) work. We'll talk practical things about the when and how to work this into life while kids are around.

Key Points from this Episode:

• When establishing a family routine, make sure to schedule in alone time for you. That can be before kids wake up, in the middle of the day while kids do "quiet time", or right after kids' bedtimes.
• Consider having an earlier bedtime for kids. It's okay if they don't go to sleep right away, but they can have quiet, unwinding time before they fall asleep and you can get TONS done during that time frame.
• Use Michael Hyatt's idea of "moving the needle forward."
• Ask yourself what tasks you can delete or delegate to others and you'll be left with tasks that you are best fit for you and will allow you to be most effective with the time you have.
• Plan! Choose 3-5 goals you want to accomplish in the next month (including work goals). Be honest with your situation and adjust as needed for your current situation.
• Look at your week and choose your Big Three (see resources) from your project list. Make sure it's the next big chunk of the monthly goal, not the actual goal. 
• Add tasks in your context-based to-do list that allow you to move forward on your Big Three.
• Ask yourself "What is one thing that would help me feel successful at the end of the day?" It will help you figure out what is most important, handle a nagging task, or set the bar REALLY low so you can find something to celebrate no matter what season you're in.
• Ask yourself "What are the next actions for my 3 priorities for the week?" This is baby steps actions. This lets you take advantage of tiny amounts of unplanned time so you know how to best utilize it, rather than waste time figuring out what you can do when your kid naps longer than expected.
• Ask yourself "What is one thing I can do today to make tomorrow easier?" This can help you identify what is stressing you out or think ahead to handle situations before they become urgent.
• Be super open and communicating with the people around you with your goals and intentions for the week.

Resources

2020 Planner

Why and How to Choose a Big Three for the Week

Thriving in Motherhood Journal

One of the skills in the structure pillar of the Three Pillars of Thriving is automation - making a decision once and having it happen over and over again. We can apply this principle to our weekly schedule.

When we sit down and create a template of when we do things every day throughout the week, we can refer back to it with many decisions already made. 

Every quarter, I like to sketch out our current weekly rhythm or schedule. For years, I’ve done this on a piece of paper, but now we’ve added a two-page spread every quarter into the Thriving in Motherhood Planner for easy reference!

In this week’s video, I’m going to walk through my process for setting up our weekly schedule. This exercise is called an “Ideal Week” - which I really struggled with as a stay-at-home mom with lots of young children. It seemed like there was nothing ideal in my life, starting with the lack of sleep! I’ve adapted the concept in an empowering way for me as a mom, and it doesn’t require me to have it all figured out yet.

How To Set Up Your Weekly Schedule

Step 1: Write down your anchors. For me that’s our three meals during the day and quiet time. These happen no matter what.

Step 2: Write down what’s on the schedule. Church activities, music lessons, sports practices, library story time - what are your recurring appointments for the next few months?

Step 3: Write down your essentials (there can’t be a lot of them) for you and your family. Pair these essentials with an anchor. For us, that is scripture study at breakfast and my morning routine before everyone wakes up.

Step 4: Write down what your days currently look like. Write down things as they are (in pencil). This isn’t supposed to be ideal but reality.

Step 5: What is working well? What isn’t working? Use this to make 1-2 tweaks that involve your kids and another 1-2 that involve you.

Step 6: Write down the essential things in the “puzzle pieces” section you want to have happen every night, but maybe not at the same time. For me, this is a time to record a podcast episode, have a date night, or have someone over for dinner.

This is something that is going to develop over a period of YEARS, but making a few tweaks every quarter adds up to big things! I started with just figuring out what our mornings look like with young kids. Each day had a different activity: library, grocery shopping, nature walk in the woods, meeting friends at the park, and home projects. 

As we started homeschooling, we built morning routines to get to everyone’s schoolwork. We made bedtime routines for the kids to get the next element figured out. Then, I focused on developing a good morning routine for myself and the kids (the 6 am - 9 am window). This included getting the kitchen cleaned up after breakfast as well as getting us ready for the day. 

We then added some structure to our afternoon hours, getting dinner ready ahead of time and resetting the house. Finally, I added some structure to the household management and cleaning and assigned certain tasks to certain days. Now, I’m working on creating a bedtime routine that gets me set up and even ahead for the next day.

Kim Routsong is the mother of seven children, all with unique personalities.  At the heart of this episode is the theme of unconditional love, woven through stories of living with a son with aspergers and enforcing boundaries with teenagers.   She also shares how she has made teaching sufficiency a priority in their home with systems that have worked for years.  Kim is confident and committed to her role as a mother and relies on God for his guidance and power.

Today I'm talking about what I do when I start to lose it! I'm mostly enjoying this time we have during the quarantine, but there are some times when I am not fine. These are some of the tools that I've developed over the years that I am getting lots of practice on during this crazy time.

Key Points from this Episode:

• I used to think that if I was in a funk, that I was there to stay. It's not true! I've found ways to help myself reset and have a great rest of the day!
• This works for me 98% of the time - take a nap or go to bed early! Usually I'm just tired.
• I refer to my quarterly review where I wrote down projects and things I want to get done. I find a way to make even baby steps progress on a project. Feeling productive helps built positivity.
• I find a way (if possible) to get some space. If my husband can watch the kids for me, I go for a half hour walk by myself. I listened to a podcast, called a friend, and called my mom on the walk.
• Listen to an audiobook to give some perspective to your life. Get outside of your own circumstances to think about something bigger than yourself.
• Phone a friend! Just talking to somebody else feels so nice to reconnect, even if it's just over the phone.
• Journaling paired with scripture study and really connecting with God is huge to maintaining my mental state. It helps us in the moment, but it helps rewire your brain to look for positives in your life! I'm finding more good the more consistent I am with my journaling.
• Recognize that some things are nobody's fault. Nobody around you deserves the anger and wrath you might feel. It might help you to let it go instead.
• Sit down for 5 minutes when you need to!
• Exercise! Even if it's just a little bit.

Resources

Becoming by Michelle Obama

Thriving in Motherhood Journal

Generation Mindful

Motherhood seems to be a bumpy transition for most women, but Carlie's circumstances were particularly tumultuous with many moves and a stroke in the first few years of having her two young children. But Carlie did not let those circumstances define her or control her. She has put lots of time, energy, and focus on learning to care for her mental, emotional, and spiritual health. This weeks episode is one that has inspired me to take a closer look at what is in my circle of influence and be responsible for me. Carlie's story has so many lessons and I'm certain you will find something that will help you right now.

I recently reflected on all the things that I chose to do. After writing out my list I was amazed to discover that it was my little, daily choices that built the life that I'm living right now. Not my external circumstances. Not the hard things that are just part of life. But my choices. This was an empowering realization that gives me hope and confidence that I can continue to create a life that I love - and you can too. Lots of encouragement and actionable steps in this weeks episode.

This week we talk about getting out of survival mode on a practical level. What it looks like, what it feels like. Things to look for and be aware of as you go through re-entry to establish some routines and rhythms in your life.

Key Points from this Episode:

• Try to get back into regular habits like getting dressed, taking showers regularly, brushing your teeth, feeding yourself, and feeding your families.
• There is going to be a point where you do see things happening in your favor but it's going to take some time and that's okay.
• Make sure your habits are working for you rather than against you.
• Just try to be 1% better in an area each day. It can be in regards to your home or your habits. It will slowly dig you out of the survival mode feeling. Look for things that can have some lasting impact like making a cleaning caddy, buying another trash can, or decluttering an area.
• Re-Entry feels like constantly putting out fires. Once you've put out enough fires, then your brain can start to figure out what the new normal will be.
• Remember it's not just about your home, it's also about taking care of yourself.
• Remember that it's going to feel hard for a while and you're not going to see much change or progress for a while, but that doesn't mean that change or that progress isn't being built up. Once you start to see the progress, it will be SO motivating!!

Resources

This site contains affiliate links to products. We may receive a commission for purchases made through these links.

The FlyLady Website

Sink Reflections by Marla Cilley

Atomic Habits by James Clear

Anyone else feel like the missed the boat this year with all of the advent calendars and fun traditions that were planned back in November? Today I'm sharing 3 things you can still do to make this Christmas season meaningful for your family this year with no prep from you.

In this episode, I introduce the Surviving  to Thriving Framework and interview Megan Dilworth about how this framework has impacted her life. Megan is a wife and mother of three kids (ages 2-7) who is a member of The Thriving Team. She is a photographer, graphic designer, and lover of DIY projects.

Key Points from this Episode:

• Surviving to Thriving Framework:
  • All the steps are important. There is no time frame on this path. We all will repeat this path over and over throughout our lives.
  • 1. Surviving
    • circumstances, not mindset
  • 2. Re-entry
    • Uncomfortable transition between surviving and trying to get back into real life
  • 3. Normalizing
    • Basic routines
  • 4. Exploring
    • Establishing family culture and finding out what you love
  • 5. Thriving
    • Enjoy the beautiful moments. The seasons that feel like things are going well.
• Believing things are temporary will help us be more optimistic. These are temporary stages in our lives!
• Its okay to drop ideas that aren’t serving you. It’s okay to try new things, even if they don’t end up lasting.
• The act of writing things down helps us remember.

In this episode, I talk about where to start when you feel overwhelmed with getting your physical health where you want it to be. We all go through times where we have to have our physical bodies take a backseat and this is my process that I go through every time I re-start my exercise routine.

Key Points from this Episode:

• There are so many reasons (physical & mental) that take us back to square one with our fitness. That's OK!
• My big why for exercise is the endorphins. I feel better when I exercise.
• You don't need to do the whole workout that is designed! Start with 10 minutes, then go to 15 minutes until you find the right duration for you.
• Start with gently building strength (Physique 57), then add cardio (Marcy Upright Exercise Bike).
• I replaced my standard transportation with a cardio bucket bike.
• Find what you love to do to work moving into your day. Mow the lawn, swim, longboard, dance in the kitchen. Do what works for you!
• I gain energy from exercising, not lose it.
• It feels good to feel strong!
• Focusing on getting my green smoothie in every day helps teach my body to crave fruits and vegetables again. It helps me get out of the survival-eating mode.
• Whatever your body needs, feed it that!

Today we discuss being proactive, living in our circle of influence instead of our circle of concern, and how to test yourself to see how you are currently doing on these habits.

Do you feel the pressure to set big goals and achieve them quickly?

In January, I feel bombarded by all the messaging about “doubling,” “accelerating,” and “2X faster/better” in all areas of life. Productivity, homeschooling, business, decluttering our homes, and the list goes on.

It’s enough to make me want to give up or not even start.

Early one morning, as I was praying about my discouragement, I ended up in The New Testament. In Luke 1, the angel Gabriel shared with Zacharias that his son, John, would be “great in the sight of the Lord…and many of the children of Israel shall he turn to the Lord their God.” (verses 12-16).

This prophecy would take decades to fulfill.

The same angel told Mary that her son, Jesus, “shall be called the Son of the Highest and the Lord God shall give unto Him the throne of His father, David. And he shall reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of His kingdom, there shall be no end. (verses 30-33).

The fulfillment of that prophecy is taking millenniums. 

As I read this, I had the thought that maybe God doesn’t care about speed and efficiency as much as we do (or the marketing experts). But, even though these prophecies took time, these weren’t decades spent in complacency and waiting for big things to happen. Of John, it is said that he “grew and waxed strong in spirit (verse 80); of Jesus, “he increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man” (Luke 2:52).

So what does this mean for us moms? It’s okay to stick to the basics! To let the small things we do each day add up and compound over time into big things.

It may sound less exciting, but growth takes time. Becoming takes time. Doing the things God puts on your heart is as much about the journey as it is the destination.

If you haven’t taken the first step and created your vision for the year, you can sign up for the free mini-course here.

This week I'm sharing our absolute favorite family dinner ritual that turns even the craziest night around. This is a zero prep, major fan favorite that gets everyone running to the table (win!). I started it out of desperation one night and it's stuck around and become something even more wonderful that I could have imagined. Listen to this *short episode and give it a try tonight!

In this episode I share how I create my vision for the upcoming year. Having a vision is an important element to thriving and recognizing your growth in every season of motherhood.  It is an powerful exercise and tool to help guide you intentionally through the next year no matter what your circumstances are.

This episode is an introduction to the Thriving in Motherhood podcast.

At the start of this new year, I realized I needed to make some changes to how I’m using my phone. In this week’s episode, I’m outlining the problems I was having with technology and how it impacted my daily life, the parameters I’ve set for myself with my phone, and how I’ve set myself up for success.

5 Reasons to Reduce Phone Usage:

1. Often, when things are out of balance, or we’re not in our usual routines and rhythms, it’s easy to fill the lack of structure and numb our feelings with screen time. This just makes things worse.

2. I find that when I have things I want to do on my phone - whether it’s an audiobook, podcast, course, project, etc. - then it is easy for me to come up with lots of excuses for the kids to keep playing, not involve them in helping out around the house, or for me to step away and finding ways to spend less time with them. These are great resources, but I want a break from the pull to step away.

3. When I did my yearly review, I was surprised by the stories I was telling myself vs. reality. I was shocked at how much we did with family experiences and relationship-building with our family and people close to home. I want to be more aware and let reality count.

4. I’ve been on my devices a lot more the last quarter with business and Christmas prep, which then turns to wasting time because our phones are masters at rabbit holes. I’ve gone down great rabbit holes I’ve learned a lot from, BUT it was still many hours on a screen and disengaged. I want to course correct and be more engaged at home.

5. I want to give more attention to intentional rhythms with my younger kids specifically, which means firmer boundaries around screens for all of us.

How I Set My Phone Up To Be…Just a Phone!

• I deleted all the apps off the home screen on my phone except for phone, text, calendar, and camera.

• I deleted and disabled Google Discover and Search, so I have zero ability to check email or look things up.

• I put my phone in greyscale mode. It looks horrible and makes it very unappealing to use for much besides phone calls.

• I got a flashlight to replace using my phone as a flashlight at night and in the early morning hours. I can’t get sidetracked with it if it isn't in my hand.

• I got a pocket-sized notebook to carry around with a pen. I’ve replaced grabbing my phone with grabbing a notebook to write down a note or to-do item.

Sherilyn Rasmussen is the mother of six children ages 13 to 25.  She learned as a young mother to work with her children's God-given personalities and not try to change them to be something they weren't.  Although being a young mom didn't come naturally to her, it is something that she worked hard at and now her family is truly her greatest joy.  This past year she led her family with faith after her teenage daughter was in a car accident and had injuries that required surgery as well as a traumatic brain injury. 

It can be so hard to feel like we are just surviving our days and see a huge list of all that needs to happen, but in reality all we need to do is focus on managing today and making tomorrow a little bit better too.

Each of the five phases along the path have a specific focus, systems, and skills so that you can dramatically shorten your to-do list and put your energy towards the specific problems you are facing right now. 

In this weeks episode I'm sharing the big problems with you along each phase so you can more clearly identify where you are at along the path and what you can let go of in the season you are in.

We work on solving each of these problems in the Surviving to Thriving Toolkit. You can learn more and join the waitlist to be the first to know about it here: https://thrivinginmotherhoodpodcast.com/toolkit

This week's episode is all about taking a few moments to reflect on your own recent growth as a mother.  I share a few of my own recent epiphanies of growth relating to how I view my day, getting stronger in the physical work required, how I deal with sleep, and doing more of what I love with my kids - all with the hope that you will recognize your own growth.  Next week we'll be back to another interview with an amazing mother!

Do you dread your husband traveling? I know for me the full days and nights with four kids requires a bit of effort to make it a successful experience for everyone. In this weeks episode I'm sharing my tips from our recent weeks of just the kids and mom as well as ideas from the women in Soaring Mothers Society. I'd love to hear your biggest take away or own suggestions below!

In this episode, I talk about key questions I ask God and myself to start every day. I talk about how they help focus my mind to be the person I want to be and develop the relationship I want with God. I invite you to join me on Patreon with these questions and make a habit of this with me! I talk about my desire to handle life better during the challenging times and how these questions help me do this by taking into account what is on my "Essential List" for my life. They are questions that help us have more energy, more enthusiasm, happier, more present, and be more engaged in our lives. 

Today I’m talking with Mary Caplin, mother of two and a certified doula. She shares some incredible defining moments in her mothering journey. She talks about paradigm shifts and some sacred moments of grieving through a miscarriage.

Key Points from this Episode:

• Being a mother who is committed is more important than any "accomplishments."
• Thinking about your commitment to you kids helps you recognize the good that you are doing in your daily life.
• We can't be perfect 100% of the time, but we can be pretty good at commitment!
• Learning from other moms around you can help you relax into what you are doing.
• Letting go and giving our problems over to God will allow Him to carry you.
• Let go of the negative and it will make room for the hope to come in.
• You are a woman. You are strong. You are a mother. Just by virtue of being a mother, you are blessed with intuition. It's a real thing and you will be able to make the best decisions that are best for you and your family.
• Motherhood is vulnerability and strength together.
• Learning how to go through a grieving process with your spouse is unifying.
• Speak your feelings out loud in your car alone. Write it out. Talk to a spouse or other loved ones. Let the feelings out to be able to process them.

As a mom, I know exactly who I want to become. I also know there’s a gap between that vision and my current reality - in my character, my behavior, and my actions.

To help close this gap, I’ve created something that’s become one of my favorite tools this year: a personal life philosophy. But don’t let the fancy name fool you - it’s simply a collection of your best ideas, thoughts, and inspiration that help you specifically in your journey of becoming who you want to be.

In this week’s episode, we’re diving into what a personal life philosophy is and why each of us needs one. I’ll share how it helps me in my quest to become who I want to be, plus practical tips for actually using it (because we all know how easy it is to create something and never look at it again).

I’m excited to walk you through:

• A simple but effective way to organize your most important guiding principles

• How to create a spot for weekly (or even daily) reminders of how you want to navigate life

• Practical examples of how this tool has transformed my own motherhood journey

• Different ways to implement this system, whether you prefer paper planning or digital tools

This year, I’ve included a special personal life philosophy section in the Thriving in Motherhood Planner. But if you prefer digital, I’ll show you how to use this system in Notion (with a free template and tutorial!)

Sometimes in motherhood, especially during busy seasons like the holidays, it feels like there is no space for personal growth. But this is something you can do in just 20 minutes, right within the walls of your own home. It’s a simple way to reclaim a bit of yourself and make progress on something that really matters.

Ready to start closing the gap between who you are and who you want to become? Tune in to this week’s episode, and let’s create your personal life philosophy together!

Last week, we spent a week in Memphis, Tennessee, as a family while Andrew attended a conference. It was a great trip with lots of amazing moments and some really hard ones, too. In this week’s episode, I’m sharing the reflection process that I did after this trip so that we can take in all the data, evaluate the wins, what we loved, and what we would do to make things a little bit better next time.

Some of the specific tips might be applicable to your family and travel situation, and some of them won’t, but either way, I hope that you will use this process after you have an adventure—big or small—with your family.

It takes a lot of effort to pull off family adventures, and reflection is the essential step that allows us to do it again as we figure out what worked and what didn’t.

Here are some things we reflected on that went well, didn’t go well, and what we would do differently next time:

1. Mindset: This is a grand experiment, and I’m just here to collect data about what is going well and what’s not going well so we can make changes. If I go in with expectations other than these, my hopes will usually be dashed.

2. Food: We stuck to our usual road trip staples on the way out (bagel sandwiches, fruits, veggies, something special - goldfish and veggie straws - and stopped for dinner at Chipotle). The rest of the trip was a little bit rocky. Hotel breakfast takes an hour, which means it is both an activity and a lot to manage, but that is just the new expectation. We packed lunches (sandwiches, fruits, and veggies) and grabbed dinner at a restaurant, but we were all just a little bit hungry. Next time we are going to be in a hotel for a long period of time, we think we’ll bring an Instapot so we can have more food that we are used to that is more filling.

3. Quiet Time: I got some activities at the dollar store (coloring book, sticker book, playdough, standup) as an experiment to see if having a little novelty could get me a short nap in the middle of the day. It worked about 50% of the time, but the activities were a big hit and did get me about 20 minutes of rest. It also gave the kids something to do while we were waiting around in the morning for everyone to get ready with one bathroom. This was something that went well, and I would add more intentional effort into it next time because it was a budding success.

4. Activities: I started by looking at the weather to get a general idea of what we were facing and saw some rainy days and clear days with generally cooler weather. My conclusion was we needed a mix of indoor and outdoor activities, leaning heavily on indoor options. We went to a few paid museums (National Civil Rights Museum, Cotton Museum, Flight Museum, and Children's Museum), and a few of those had groupons with huge discounts. We took advantage of local parks and found some awesome gems, and it also gave us outside time in spaces where the kids could just run and play and not be corrected by us. We also found things we would do things in our town anyway, like going to the public library.

5. Took me off guard: I had zero moments without the kids. In the past, when the kids were little I would be awake an hour or two before them and work in the bathroom in the morning, but this trip, we went to bed together, woke up together, and spent every waking moment together (except for my 20 minutes of quiet time when they were one bed away). On the last night, Andrew took the kids after he finished working so I could go on a walk by myself (and then I found something fun and invited them to join me because it was too good not to share), but even that 15 minutes really rejuvenated me and is something we will be more strategic about next time we join Andrew on a work trip.

6. Public Transportation was a huge hit: It saved a lot of hassle with parking. It was a fun activity that the kids enjoyed, and it helped them build some confidence in navigating a new place. We got a day pass for a few dollars each, so it was very economical.

7. Include your kids in the entire process. Instead of adventures being all on mom's shoulders, use trips to build family unity and help the kids learn from and own the effort and the joy of adventures. My oldest created the packing list a few days before the trip. Everyone helped clean out the car, gather activities, shop and prepare food, and pack clothes. We might have gone a little slower, but it kept everyone doing the same thing, and there were fewer messes in other spaces around the house. When I started to get a little frazzled at the end of the trip packing things up to go home and everyone running around, I remembered I could ask the kids for help, and they did - with joy. Involving the children in the process of family adventures is something I want to get better at with future trips.

8. Keep Similar Rhythms to What We Do At Home: Friday night was still pizza and movie night (with Papa Johns Pizza). At night, we had the same bedtime routine and morning routine. Every day, we came back to the hotel in the middle of the day for quiet time. We kept the basic anchors in our day and week so everyone knew what to expect and didn't start from scratch. We could have brought in a few more daily habits 

During a hard season I felt like God suggested that I bring hymns more into my everyday life. I started small, propping up a hymn book where I did the dishes and learning the words while I washed. The impact of this small routine has helped not only me, but family too, and spread in other ways. The Soul Pillar (one of the three pillars of thriving) is absolutely strengthened by this practice. For more ideas of how to bring the power of hymns into your home in simple ways, check out this week's episode.

I’ve gotten lots of questions about our Zone system that we use to have the kids help clean up our main living spaces. In this week’s episode, I’m sharing all of the details of what it is, why we’ve set things up this way, what everyone is responsible for, how often we reset each zone, and how long it takes.

Zone cleaning is a long-term game plan. It takes time, and it will require a bit of extra effort on your part to set things up. 

We’ve divided our downstairs into four zones. Each kid had their own room with a large rug to vacuum.

At first, you are going to do every step of the cleaning with your kids. It takes time - even years - for the kids to get the hang of it. We also paid close attention to when someone is feeling overwhelmed by a space and simplify it so they are set up for success. The things they are responsible for match their age. 

The wonderful thing about this is that we are now able to reset our entire downstairs fairly quickly as we’ve continued to increase our kid’s skills, decrease the amount of things we have to manage, and foster a team spirit amongst ourselves.

Listen to this week’s episode to learn more about our Zone Cleaning System and how it’s working for our family and home.

Do you feel the drive to just squeeze one more thing into your day? One more load of laundry? One more phone call? One more store? I know I sure can fall into that trap, completely erasing all the margin into my day. Now I'm feeling rushed because I didn't budget for the diaper blow out or children wanting to help me make dinner. But after reading Essentialism I'm learning to say no to "just one more". The unexpected result is the ability to just live in the present, and that brings so much joy into my life. I'm able to just enjoy what is going on in front of me. 

We reached 100 episodes... TEN episodes ago! Today is all about celebrating what we've done and news about what is coming next to the Thriving in Motherhood Podcast!

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Subscribe (and rate and review – thank you!): Google Play | iTunes | Stitcher

Key Points from this Episode:

• My word for the year is Connection and I want to help our community connect more.
• Tag @thrivinginmotherhood.podcast on Instagram and join the Facebook Group while you share your wins in your life!
• The Thriving in Motherhood Website has had a face-lift with the purpose to serve you better!
• Find out where you are on the Surviving to Thriving pathway and get the new resource that applies to where you are!
• Learn to work within your limitations and THRIVE!
• Join the wait list for the course.

Resources

Thriving in Motherhood Facebook Group

Surviving Guide

Re-Entry Guide

Normalizing Guide

Exploring Guide

Thriving Guide

Course Wait List

When I shared 3 Thriving Thoughts for Hard Days a few weeks ago, we were not at the end of the unexpected and hard around here. The reality is that my capacity and desire for doing things and running the household are shrinking as my energy is being diverted toward the emotional and physical realities and reactions to our circumstances.

I’ve also realized that my physical energy and health vary greatly every month, and I have some ongoing health challenges. I want to have a more realistic handle on what I’m committing to. When I created my vision at the beginning of the year, I had no clue what the first few months would throw at us, and I very excitedly jumped into lots of things, but now I’m finding myself stressed by these self-imposed expectations.

As I was pondering this situation earlier this week, I had the inspiration (in my usual place, the shower) to write a Yes List. What is a Yes List, you ask? 

A yes list is a list of everything you’ve said yes to. Because I really don’t like not finishing things and seeing them through to the end, it was very helpful for me to put things on paper and look at them objectively. Then, I could sift through everything and simplify those “yeses” to the absolute essential. I used a Think and Process page in my Thriving in Motherhood Planner and carried it around with me during the day so I could add to it.

Here are five areas from my Yes List that I’m currently simplifying:

1. Books: I revisited my reading list and wrote down all the books I wanted to come back to in the future. For now, I’m focusing on reading this that builds my character and less on books that require me to take action.

2. Gardening: Instead of an all-or-nothing approach, I’m simplifying our gardening activities and making progress without making it too complicated. 

3. Rooms: We are continuing our journey to simplify our living spaces, focusing on reducing clutter without getting too overwhelmed with perfection.

4. Programs/Commitments: I evaluated all the programs I’m a part of and sorted through what is time-sensitive and what can wait. I’ve also re-evaluated my commitments, saying no to some things I had previously said yes to. 

5. Homeschooling: We are embracing our current homeschool and focusing on relationships over perfection. This approach fosters a deeper and more meaningful learning experience.

In a nutshell, I’m on a quest to get really clear on what really matters RIGHT NOW and redirecting my energy and focus where it counts the most. Writing in my Thriving in Motherhood Journal every day is really helping me find the guidance I’m seeking.

Alison Jones is a mother of two children who has learned to make self care a priority in its truest form - sleep and eating well.  She is currently living with her family in Amsterdam and they have embraced traveling with children and focusing on the experiences and not activities.  She has made fun and play a priority in their home and makes every day life an adventure.

Get our family scripture songs: https://cart.thrivinginmotherhoodpodcast.com/bible-scripture-songs/

As a mom, I knew if I could only get one thing into my children’s minds and hearts, it would be scripture. When my oldest was two years old, I decided we would start making up songs to add to our favorite verses because the scriptures I still had memorized from childhood were put to tunes.

But, after a few years, we had created a lot of songs and didn’t have any sense or organization to review them. That is when I came across Simply Charlotte Mason’s scripture memory box idea. 

It only takes a few minutes each morning at breakfast for us to review our four songs, and by the end of the month, we’ve sung every song that we’ve memorized so far. 

Some days, all of us are singing in unison with gusto and other times, I’m still plugging along myself when I can’t get all of my kids to focus at the same time. But either way, this is part of our daily rhythms that everyone has come to expect and look forward to. 

I love that all day long, I hear scripture as my kids are singing our songs as they are playing, doing their jobs, or just hanging out. This was an unintended outcome of our scripture memory habit, but it brings us all so much joy. My kids also love when they recognize scriptures each week at church from the speakers. 

If this is something you want to incorporate into your family, start small. We started small when my oldest was two - just a new scripture every few months. Almost eight years later, my kids now bring scriptures they love from their own reading for us to memorize as a family. I love that this practice has become collaborative over time.

Check out this week’s video to see how we’ve set up the system to work for us so that we stay on top of reviewing our scriptures. 

Problem solving is one of those skills I’m truly passionate about - for us moms and for our kids. When our children know how to solve problems, they can face whatever challenges come their way with confidence.

In today’s episode, I talk with Linsey Jensen about three simple principles that help our kids become better problem solvers. Whether you’re dealing with homework struggles, teaching science concepts, or just trying to get your kids to clean their rooms, these ideas will change how you approach teaching this important skill.

Linsey shares:

• Why making our kids the heroes of their own experiences builds confidence.
•  
• How discovery creates deeper learning than following directions
•  
• A simple framework for breaking big tasks into manageable steps

As a bonus, Linsey shares some of the amazing tools she’s created.

If you enjoyed this conversation, I’d love for you to join the Surviving to Thriving Toolkit waitlist! I’ve created this program to help you move through the five steps from surviving to thriving in motherhood. It’s all about identifying what problems to solve in your life at the right time and in the right way, so you can stop feeling stuck on the endless treadmill of demands and start thriving instead.

Join the waitlist HERE.

Resources from this episode:

Lindsay's Etsy Shop for Escape Rooms, Logic Puzzles, and Science Kits

Episode 20 with Lindsay

Circuit Wiz Kits

Lindsay's Website Covalent Moments

In this episode, I talk about Survival Mode and how that does not need to stop us from thriving even while we are in the midst of it. I share some of my personal life in the middle of full blown survival mode (surgery and recovery, moving, home-buying, etc.) and how the things I've discovered over the past five years adjusted my thinking and got me ready for the things I could prepare for.

During this round of struggles, I tried to step away from the worry. I instead asked myself "What is in my circle of influence?" and "What is the next step?" to myself and to God in order to find focus to prep while I was able. I used friends as sounding-boards and got to work on my next actions that were within my circle of influence. I learned to walk away from a project when there was no Next Action and move on to another task - and feel totally fine about that.

Recognizing our growth in the moment of struggle disarms fear, frustration, and anger. We instead can celebrate "Look how much we're learning!" Having a little bit of heads up for survival circumstances before we were in the midst of it allowed me to take some responsibility and ask for help when I knew I would need it.

Gratitude has provided the power to pull myself out of any pity feelings I might feel for myself in these rough circumstances. Choosing to practice gratitude lets me offer a smile to those around me. Even when I'm "sick mom," I can still help lift spirits and find moments of joy. I'm deciding to be proud of what we have done rather than feeling guilty that I'm not at full functioning levels. Remembering that God's opinion of me is all that really matters has helped me keep perspective on the things that really matter most. Keeping prayer central to my recovery has allowed me to see God in the details of my life.

We've already been through a whole lot of hard. We've already learned from a whole lot of hard. We can take the knowledge that we've gained from doing the hard to help us know that we can make it through the next hard.

We don't have it all figured out. Hard is still hard. But that's okay. Hard is not wrong. That doesn't mean it's not worth it.

If you are not currently in Survival Mode, great! That gives you the chance to look outward and understand how you can better serve others who might be. Prayers and paper products can lift others in ways you cannot imagine. We are all in this trying world together, and together we can help each other thrive!

Madeline has made it her life's mission to make everywhere she is her own happiest place on earth. She developed this mission statement while teaching 4th grade and being trained in the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People Leader in Me program. She saw her students' lives transformed at the Title 1 school as they developed these habits. She shares how the 7 Habits have shaped her as a mother and parent and helps her fulfill her mission of creating a happy life.

Today Madeline Casey and I are kicking off a five part series discussing the book Essentialism by Greg Mckeown. To start off we are diving deep into the concept of Protecting the Asset - which means YOU. We recorded this series back in November which means I've been thinking about these chats for months and it's been changing me. I'm thrilled I can finally share them with you! 

Whenever you find yourself in survival mode, there are some best practices to that help make the experience as good as it possibly can be. All of my old favorite principles as well as some new ones that we've learned this time around with my broken toe in this weeks episode. What are your best tips for being in survival mode?

In this week’s episode, I’m answering a question from a mom in our Thriving in Motherhood Community about possible routines (besides sitting in bed together, playing with toys, and watching movies) that you can have with severe morning sickness during pregnancy when you have other little kids at home.

I’ve had four really challenging pregnancies, the last three with kids at home, and in this episode, I’ll share what worked for us during those hard months and principles you can apply to make the best of an honestly challenging situation and feel some joy along the way too.

Routines for Mom:

1. Monthly reviews in the Thriving in Motherhood Planner: These monthly reviews are ESSENTIAL. It helps you reality-check what is actually happening. I told myself, “All I do is lie on the couch, grow a baby, and hang out with the kids.” Not a helpful story. Once I started writing down what I learned and discovered, accomplished, places we went, significant things for our family, and books I read or listened to, I had a more accurate picture of my life, and it was much better than I thought.

2. Ask the questions in the Thriving in Motherhood Journal: These questions are so important for changing the focus of your days and what you think about them. Here are four to get you started:

   1. What am I grateful for? 

   2. How have I seen the hand of God in my life today?

   3. What were my big wins today?

   4. What were my magic moments today?

3. Have something you are excited about: It can be as simple as a story you like reading to your kids (I recommend Winnie the Pooh), a date with your husband, or getting together with friends.

4. Have a simple, creative project that you can see progress on: I crochet a blanket for each of my kids - single crochet 10 up, 3 in the hole, 10 down, skip two, 10 up, etc.- in the evening. It keeps my mind focused on not thinking about how I don’t want to face the next day or even a rough night. And I get to make progress on something for the baby that connects me to why I’m sick and feel a little bit of excitement and love in this season of sacrifice.

5. Use this slower season to be intentional with your input and get clear on your vision: I’ve never totally stopped making progress on the things that matter to me because I always knew my next little baby step and could keep moving forward. Making progress - even sllooowww progress - does wonders for the soul.

6. Look and pray for ways to serve others: It might seem impossible when you are struggling yourself, but even a phone call can make someone’s day, and it will lift your spirits too.

Routines for your Family:

1. Listen to audiobooks/musical stories: We invested $5 in a CD player from Goodwill during my pregnancy with some audiobooks or musical stories for the kids to listen to. Each day, when I needed some space, they would set it up across the room with some play dough or coloring and listen. This gave me a bit of a breather. As my kids got older, we graduated to a Kindle, but the only thing they have access to is the library audiobook app, and it’s password-protected.

2. Go outside: During my pregnancies, we often lived outside at the playground by our house, or the kids spent a lot of time in our yard during my last pregnancy. I took a blanket to lay on and, if I was feeling a little better, a project (I carved wooden animals and made leather shoes - again coping with misery with creation). For two of my pregnancies, we had friends who would meet us outside or even help us get to the playground, and it was wonderful. Bring water and snacks for you and the kids to last for hours. I think that’s why my kids play outside so much because once we were out, I wasn’t mobile again for a long time. It wasn’t my most graceful season - I threw in every bush on the way to the park and surrounding areas by the end of pregnancy - but we survived!

3. Pray for help or to know who to ask for help: I had many miracles in this department. I’ll share three:

• I was talking to a friend from college, and her roommate and mutual friend didn’t have to work for a week when Andrew was traveling. She flew out and took care of me and my kids. She made us food and cleaned my microwave. It was good for the soul as much as the body.

• On a really rough night, I needed to go to the ER, and a friend who had just moved out to Indiana for school took me so Andrew could stay with the kids and get some sleep before a huge day with his graduate studies. It was after midnight before I got home, and Andrew was gone all day. We were both under a lot of stress, and things felt strained, and I was in the depths of despair. That was the day of angels. I had people unexpectedly show up at my door all day. First, a mom with six kids whose youngest was my oldest's age felt like she should just stop by on her way to preschool drop-off, and she sat with me for a bit and just listened. Then another knock on the door came, and a friend with older children came by, and power cleaned my house. Then a homeschooling mom stopped by, and she and her kids had gone to the grocery store and bought loads of snacks that were different for us to try. It just kept going like this all day. I was so grateful for everything they did individually and felt so seen by God.

• With this last pregnancy during COVID, we rarely saw people, but a few times, we had new friends drop by with food, a quick sweep of the floor, and tidying of our main living space, and they listened to the many things my kids wanted to share. That was such a blessing.

Once I understood I needed help (I don't think I had that figured out yet), I started praying to know who to ask. We've had seasons where it's been so hard and uncomfortable, but it was essential, and I reached out for help. If you aren't sure what to ask for, consider:

• someone to come over and play with your kids at your house and engage with them

• someone who can have your kids go play for an afternoon

• meals or snacks

• help with bedtime if your spouse isn't there 

Have you had the experience of committing to a hard goal but found yourself miserable along the way? 

Arielle shared with me that she had made it through her first semester of grad school as a mom with four young kids, but it was a miserable experience. Instead of seeing it as a failure, I shared the 5-Step Path From Curious To Committed. 

5 Step Path From Curious To Committed:

1. Curious - Identify what you would like to try or start (like grad school or a podcast).

2. Consistent - Set a timeframe to try (podcast for one year or do a semester of grad school).

3. Clarity - Come back to the drawing board and see how this thing fits in your life. Look at the data (podcasting is great, and I have tons of ideas to keep going; grad school was incredibly hard on my family - how big is my why?).

4. Confidence - Now, you can either move forward or let go.

5. Committed - Your goals can now be more specific as you are committed to the long-term process and what really matters in that field (a certain number of downloads, focus on metrics that matter in grad school).

As I discussed this path with Arielle, we determined she was on step three. It is time for her to evaluate the date and decide if she wants to continue with grad school. 

But just because something feels really hard doesn't mean it's not worth doing. As Andrew and I have reminded ourselves many times during difficult seasons for our family, hard doesn’t mean wrong. However, it has served as a signal for us to pause and take stock of what really matters to us AND how we are thinking about our circumstances.

So far, quitting in the middle of misery hasn’t been the right answer, but getting clear on what is in our circle of influence to make things better quickly becomes a top priority. 

Listen to this week’s episode for more thoughts on this process and to find out what step you might be on with your goals.

Darla Trendler is the mother of four teenagers who has come to be confident in who she is as a mother.  She believes that she is equipped to give her children what they need from her and acts (and prays!) accordingly.  Darla shares some powerful moments in her motherhood journey where she learned to be true to herself, realized she needed to act if she wanted her circumstances to change, and decided that she was going to be a priority as a person again.

As mothers, we often find ourselves navigating the challenging journey from merely surviving our days to truly thriving. Over the years, I've had the privilege of working with many amazing moms, and I've noticed some common pitfalls that can make this journey feel even more daunting. 

Today, I'd like to share some insights to help smooth your path. In our latest podcast episode, we dive into the five biggest mistakes moms make as they transition from survival mode to thriving. 

Here are the five key mistakes to consider:

1. Focusing on Circle of Concern vs. Circle of Influence: It’s crucial to distinguish between what you can control and what you can’t. By redirecting your focus to your circle of influence, you empower yourself to make meaningful changes. When I was pregnant with my third baby, I found myself overwhelmed by everything outside my control. A wise friend encouraged me to focus on my circle of influence rather than my circle of concern. It was a life-changing moment that taught me to concentrate on what I could truly impact. This shift in perspective enabled me to put my energy into actions that mattered, rather than getting bogged down by things I couldn't change.

2. Phone Scrolling: While it's a common escape, it can hinder your ability to think clearly, connect meaningfully with your family, and solve your problems with God. Reducing phone time can significantly improve your ability to cope and connect.

3. Getting Stuck in Phases: Whether it's survival mode, normalizing routines, or exploring new interests, it's important to recognize when it's time to move on and adapt to new phases in your motherhood journey. I go into great detail about what it looks like to get stuck in each phase.

4. Focusing on Suffering: It's easy to dwell on the hardships of motherhood, but shifting your mindset to focus on what you’re learning and how you’re growing can make a significant difference. Seeing challenges as opportunities for growth fosters resilience. This can't be rushed - it takes time to grieve or work through the emotions and realities of things being hard or different than you anticipated. But I have also learned that it is a skill set and a habit of thinking that can grow stronger with practice.

5. Limiting Strategies to Simplify Life: I spent years thinking there are only a couple of ways to make life easier, like sending kids to Grandma's or eating out. However, there are countless strategies to improve your day-to-day, even without these conveniences.

This is why I'm creating a brand new program, The Surviving to Thriving Toolkit! If you want to be the first to know any details and get on the waitlist, you can head over to https://thrivinginmotherhoodpodcast.com/toolkit.

Additionally, if you're seeking more support and community, consider joining Mom Matters Too {https://thrivinginmotherhoodpodcast.com/mom-matters-too} where we work on micro habits together. These calls are a fantastic opportunity to connect with other moms, share your progress, and gain inspiration. The price is going up at the end of July so now is the perfect time to join!

Remember, every step forward, no matter how small, is a victory. Let's celebrate these wins together. I can't wait to hear about all the amazing things you are accomplishing!

All of my kids stopped napping around age two. When we went through the transition the first time with my oldest, I was reading one of Sally Clarkson’s books (I’ve read so many, I’m not sure which one mentioned this), and she said that every day they had quiet time to read and be in their own space to recharge.

From that day forward, we rebranded “nap time” to ‘rest and read time,” and we’ve had this as an anchor for our day ever since.

Read and rest time isn’t boring at our house. Sometimes there are creative messes, and sometimes, my 9-year-old has organized and deep-cleaned a kitchen cabinet. I never know what I’m going to find when I come back out of my room. Regardless, because of this routine, I will be recharged and ready for what’s next

On today’s episode, I’m sharing what is working now for the kids and me as a homeschooling family of six to be successful.

Have you created your vision for 2023 yet? Now is the perfect time to get clarity about what matters to you so you can spend your days on things you actually want to be doing instead of hiding in the bathroom or scrolling social media to escape.

Join the free 6-day challenge here.

Cammie Smith is the mother of three little boys and a licensed marriage and family therapist.  She shares research-based principles and practices that lend to a healthy marriage as well as most common reasons for marital tension and how to improve marriage.  Cammie's motherhood journey is intertwined with her area of expertise and she shares her experience and tools that she uses to actively improve herself while facing the realities of motherhood.