This Thing Rules (Brian Altano and Max Scoville)

Going door to door asking for candy from strangers is a pretty strange thing to do, but what if you wore a ridiculous outfit while doing so? Somehow that’s become a totally normal tradition that we do every year. As much fun as the candy and spooky decor is, one of the most fun things about Halloween is getting to dress up as whatever the hell you want to. We take a look back at some of the origins of wearing costumes at Halloween (and sometimes Christmas) and reminisce about some of our fondest fancy dress memories over the years, including but not limited to the Smurfs, Willy Wonka, Punished Snake, Mario, The Joker, a LEGO Minifig and Batman in Khakis.

Intro contains clips from “Dead Man’s Party” by Oingo Boingo, The Nightmare Before Christmas, It’s The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown and the Beavis and Butt-Head episode “Bungholio: Lord of the Harvest.”

Alligators rule! And so do crocodiles! Though they’re regularly vilified in popular media, these modern-day dinosaurs (that aaaaactually have been around almost as long) don’t deserve such a bad rep. We were fascinated with these radical reptiles as kids, and as adults, we’ve somehow wound up dealing with them for vaguely work-related reasons on more than one occasion, which just got us even more worked up about the big leathery monsters. Join us as we sing the praises of these prehistoric terrors of Florida, share some tales (and tails) of our own alligator adventures, and spout questionably accurate scientific trivia about them. Bear in mind: we are alligator enthusiasts, not experts. Zippity zound, alligators all around!

If you want to check out the cool stuff actual alligator experts Chris Gillette and Gabbi Nikole are doing, frequently involving alligators, check them out on Instagram @gatorboys_chris and @gabbinikolle. If you don’t believe we went swimming with a real alligator (or how stupid we said our wetsuits looked) you can find that here, and you can see us riding around on a fanboat like an old married couple that rides fanboats, that’s here. If you’d like to see a really stupid video involving a monitor lizard (the underachieving loser cousin of the alligator) we have one of those as well.

Intro contains clips from E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial, Lake Placid, Happy Gilmore and a Gator Golf commercial.

Slime has existed for all of time in some form, probably. The first slime ever was primordial ooze which many believe was made of random earth slop that came together to form life. Slime as a toy was first introduced by Mattel in 1976 and it was literally just a plastic garbage can full of slime for kids over 5 and was labeled as “gooey, drippy, oozey, cold, ‘n clammy” It was mostly made of guar gum and PVA glue. Mattel went on to put all sorts of shit in this stuff, like fake bugs, eyeballs, and other small horrors. Since then, practically every action figure line has incorporated some slime-related playset or feature, and in more recent years, it underwent a surprising renaissance among a whole new demographic, other than disgusting little boys. Let’s wax (and ooze) nostalgic for our favorite gelatinous substance.`

Intro contains clips from a late 70s local news clip, Ghostbusters, Nickelodeon’s You Can’t Do That On Television, “I’m The Slime” by Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention, and commercials for Mattel’s Masters of the Universe Slime Pit playset and Playmates Toys’ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Flushinator playset.

Schwing! This episode is all about the S-word: SWORDS. Over the course of the next hour, you may learn a thing or two about the history of bladed weapons, but we spend most of our time goofing off and talking about our favorite swords in popular culture, from iconic movie blades in films like Lord of the Rings, Highlander, Kill Bill, and uh, Blade and also Brian’s favorite video game swords, from Ocarina of Time’s second-coolest sword to the Elden Ring sword that does bleed damage like they do on the Discovery Channel. Despite the topic at hand, we might not be the sharpest tools in the shed when it comes to rational analysis of melee weapons, but we still had a lot of fun this week.

Also, friendly reminder you can help support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, follow us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at thisthingruleshow@gmail.com

Intro contains clips from Highlander, Home Movies, a disastrous QVC sword infomercial and Kill Bill Vol. 1.

Ding-dong! That’s both the noise you hear when you walk into a convenience store, a brand of packaged baked good that’s probably available within, and the sort of person who’d spend over an hour talking about their love of these establishments that are somewhere between a fast food restaurant and a grocery store. Depending on where you live, you may have another term for a convenience store, like liquor store, corner store, mini mart, bodega, convenience shop, corner shop, carry out, mini-mart, milk bar, cold store, party store, deli, milk bar, dairy, superette, Kiosk, späti, konbini, dépanneur or off-licence. Whatever it’s called, we have a lot to say about these little shops, from their history to their place in pop-culture to our own personal adventures involving them. 

Intro contains clips from Beavis & Butt-Head, The Simpsons, Ghost World and Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure. And also whatever you call the machine that makes a noise when you walk into a 7-Eleven.

Not just part of a complete breakfast, but a complete breakfast in and of itself, the quintessential blue collar morning meal is an American staple to rival the noble cheeseburger… But what makes a good breakfast sandwich? Eggs, cheese, some kind of meat, stuck between some sort of complex carbohydrate. Surely no one could screw that up, right? Well, you’d think so. Join us as we discuss the merits of various mystery meat, from the controversially named Taylor Ham/Pork Roll to its weird Amish cousin, Scrapple, and our personal do’s, don’t’s, tips, tricks, and misadventures with this sumptuous morning delicacy.

It would totally rule if you helped support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, You can also show your support by following us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at thisthingruleshow@gmail.com

Intro contains clips of Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem, and Superbad.

‘Tis the season! From wholesome feel-good classics like “It’s a Wonderful Life” and “A Charlie Brown Christmas” to vaguely off-color classics like “National Lampoon’s Christmas” and “Love, Actually” to flat-out misanthropic filth like “Bad Santa” or “Home Alone 2: Lost in New York,” there are are a lot of movies about, or at least, involving Christmas. So, let’s talk about some favorites, some less favorite, and some movie franchises set in universes where Christmas doesn’t exist that we’ve somehow forced into our holiday rotation.

Intro includes clips from It’s a Wonderful Life, Bad Santa, Die Hard, A Christmas Story and Angels With Filthy Souls (the fake gangster movie from Home Alone, not to confused with Angels with Dirty Faces, which is an actual film)

In what’s possibly our most divisive and controversial episode to date, we tell you why we both enjoy a particular time of day that a whole lot of people would rather spend being unconscious than doing anything else. Ironically, two guys who used to host a show called “Up At Noon” are, in fact, “morning people.” But wait, let’s talk about how we got this way, what’s keeping us this way, and why we don’t really mind that much.

Also, friendly reminder you can help support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, follow us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at thisthingruleshow@gmail.com

Intro contains clips from The Tick (the original Fox Kids animated series), a 1990 Folgers coffee commercial, an episode of Friends (The One With All The Haste) and probably The Beatles’ worst song off Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Heart Club Band.

Who doesn't want a nice tall glass of salt and hard liquor first thing in the morning? Well, healthy people, probably. Well, what if there was tomato juice and celery too, is that healthy enough for you? The Bloody Mary is an absurd cocktail no matter how you look at it, but it gets even dumber when you start sticking asparagus and strips of bacon and maybe even small hamburgers in it. Yet, that's something people regularly do... in broad daylight no less! Join Brian Altano and Max Scoville as they pour out some bartending lore, cautionary anecdotes and tipsy tricks regarding this gross drunk morning soup. Here's that photo of hungover Max with that princess dog toy.

Intro contains clips from "Buddy" of Adam Sandler's 1993 album "They're All Gonna Laugh At You," the Attack of the Killer Tomatoes animated series, and a way too sexy early 90s Clamato commercial.

Greetings, true believers! Long before the Marvel Universe was the multimedia pop-culture behemoth it is today, it was primarily relegated to the world of paper products: comics, obviously, but also trading cards - which was some of our earliest exposure to countless colorful characters. We revisit some of our favorites, from Fleer Ultra X-Men to Marvel Masterpieces, and dig into some of the history of this collecting phenomenon, as well as the influence it had on us as dorky art kids.
Intro contains clips of The Simpsons, X-Men: The Animated Series and Stan Lee's introduction to the Marvel Action Hour.

In 1996, Star Wars was in a weird spot. The Original Trilogy was a long time ago, and the Prequel Trilogy was still far, far away, but thanks to the rapidly expanding Expanded Universe in the form of books, comics and games, fans had plenty keeping them busy. So, to capitalize on this, and test the waters for interest in a new movie, Lucasfilm did the next best thing to making a movie: making everything BUT a movie, with Shadows of the Empire, a multimedia project that took the form of a novel, a comic series, a Nintendo 64 game, a score, multiple toy lines, scale model kits, and even a pop-up book. Filling in the blanks between The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi, it was the most coordinated assault Star Wars fans had seen since the Battle of Endor, and it arrived just as we were getting into that galaxy far, far away in a big way. So, let’s look back on why this was so special, what worked, what didn’t, and what’s made its way back into the official canon.

Intro contains clips from Clerks, a Kenner Shadows of the Empire action figure commercial (voiced by Mark Hammil), a promotional video for Shadows of the Empire and an Arakyd Viper Imperial Probe Droid.

Hoo hoo hoo. Okay, so maybe Jabba isn't exactly a role model, or particularly family-friendly, but that slimy piece of worm-ridden filth is one of our favorite parts of Star Wars, both in-universe as a terrifying villain, and behind-the-scenes as a completely absurd achievement in special effects in both practical and CGI forms. We delve into our first exposure to Jabba, reflect on why we love him so much, and share some of the weirder Jabba items from our respective collections of toys and other crap.

In this 1:1 scale recreation of a conversation between two friends, Max gives Brian a crash course on plastic model kits, something he had a passing interest in as a kid, but which escalated into a full-on obsession in adulthood. We discuss the origins of the hobby compared to what it’s like now, from pre-WWII models of planes that would eventually wind up in WWII to intricate replicas of very boring objects. Of course, we don't gloss over the timeless frustrations involved with cutting, building, gluing, sanding, and literally glossing over tiny plastic things, and how the desire to assemble a fun little trinket can devolve into a very weird compulsion to assemble absurdly complicated miniature realistic facsimiles of large real-world objects.

Also, friendly reminder you can help support the show on Patreon atpatreon.com/thisthingrules, follow us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners atthisthingruleshow@gmail.com

Intro contains clips from the Frank Grimes episode of The Simpsons, some model kit commercials, and Parks & Recreation (who is technically talking about claymation, but close enough)

“Monsters!" by Brian, Age 42(?)
Monsters are fictional (not real, we think) things that have existed (or not?) through basically all of human history, primarily as a mechanism to scare children or to provide cool things to torment or kill people in books, movies, TV shows, video games, comics, and campfire tales. There is not one under your bed or in your closet right now, probably, but the way the light hits at night, it might seem like it. Also the way your radiator sort of sounds like it's growling. Monsters usually sort of look like a guy but real fucked up like, as in he’s got horns or talons or a big tail or something. Sometimes they’re real huge and don’t look like a guy at all, like Godzilla or the monsters from Cloverfield or Nope. Sometimes they’re just awful little fuckers like the Gremlins, the weird walking things from Tremors 2: Aftershocks, or Mike Wazowski from Monsters Inc., a movie about monsters that start a company, or maybe just work there, or something.

In 1990 a toy line called Monster In My Pocket launched and they were a collection of 200 different brightly colored little beasts, ghouls, demons, dinosaurs, and other assorted horror men that were small enough to fit in your ratty little jean jacket or hoodie. Those were easily some of the smallest monsters. They weren’t very scary but they were occasionally boxed in a way where you couldn’t see exactly who you were buying which was kind of a jump scare on its own.

Some of the most famous monsters are the Universal Monsters which can be mostly broken into two groups: regular dudes with a weird thing (Dracula, Invisible Man, Mummy, Frankenstein’s Wife) and absolute freaks who look like shit like Frankenstein and Creature From the Black Lagoon. Wolf Man is the perfect bridge between these two groups because he’s a dude but he’s also an ugly fucker once a month so he is the glue to the whole gang, I imagine. The Munsters are also sort of monsters but they’re mostly just people, although they have a dragon living under their stairs and that’s an actual monster. Eddie Munster is mostly just an Italian kid. Speaking of TV monsters, there are also the Aaaah! Real Monsters from their show, but they’re actually not real even though they’re monsters. They’re drawings.
Speaking of which, lots of monster stories are about a guy becoming a monster and that’s bad or they’re about a monster who has to become a guy, which is good. Shrek explored these themes. Speaking of Hollywood, monsters is also a term people use to describe a real man who did monstrous things, like Harvey Wienstein and the Menendez Brothers who have their own documentary with the word “Monster” in the title. Beauty and the Beast is the story of a guy who becomes a monster and then doesn’t and it’s also the story of singing furniture. Charlize Theron was also a monster in the movie Monster where she killed guys. Every three years a different movie comes out called Monster and they all have nothing to do with each other.

Sometimes monsters stay monsters the whole time but it’s ok, like Chewbacca, a monster who drives with people in their space cars and sometimes rips arms off of bad guys. Half of the things on Sesame Street are also monsters, like Grover. Gonzo from Muppets isn’t really a monster but he’s sometimes in the same movie with a large monster creature muppet who has hobo shoes.

Monsters in video games are great because you can train them, capture them, become them, or kill them, usually thanks to a large glowing weak spot on their bodies. Monsters in movies don’t really have those, though.

Monsters get tired a lot but don’t worry, they actually have their own energy drink called Monster Energy drink which is made from guarana and taurine and other words that sound like monster names.

Anyways, monsters are cool and we like them, mostly because they’re not real (we think)

The End
Intro contains clips from Dracula, The Monster Mash, Frankenstein, Monster In My Pocket, and The Monster Squad

This week, we’re joined by our pal Scott Bromley to discuss one of the most beloved fantasy realms ever created by a fast food restaurant’s marketing teams: McDonaldland. Okay, so, maybe the food isn’t healthy, and the play structure is a deathtrap at best, and the Happy Meal toys and packaging are a blight on landfills, but at least Ronald McDonald, Grimace and The Hamburglar are pretty cool, right?

Intro contains clips from various creepy McDonald's commercials. In case it's not abundantly clear, this episode is in no way sponsored, affiliated, endorsed, or approved of by McDonald's in any way shape or form.

This week, we're tackling something that's probably too broad of a subject to fit in one episode, and which is something of a moving target, but which definitely rules. We share some personal anecdotes, as well as various trials, tribulations and existential dilemmas posed by creating another human being. (Sorry if this episode description is a little scatterbrained, while writing it, my kid needed help going to the bathroom, then insisted I let her brush my hair, and then wanted me to look up how to say "high five" in German. Apparently, it's "gib mir fünf," but also not really a thing people do in Germany. -Max)

Intro contains clips from The Empire Strikes Back, Kindergarten Cop and the trailer for Mr. Mom, which hasn't aged very well.

Who doesn’t love stickers? Colorful, cool, funny, shiny, informative and occasionally stinky little pictures or messages that can be used to decorate objects and surfaces, giving a personal possession (or public property) a little more personality. We run down some of the more novel places stickers have come from and where they’ve wound up, from Ray Avery’s original “Kum Kleen Price Stickers” in 1940, to the earliest political bumper stickers, to the origins of using “Hello My Name Is” labels to introduce oneself to strangers and mailboxes and of course the sudden sticker explosion in the 1970s and 80s of brands like Lisa Frank, Mrs. Grossman and Sandylion. Plus, some of our personal favorite stickers from throughout our lives and where we put them. Special thanks to Thijis Van Sise, longtime patreon supporter and friend of the show, for suggesting this week’s topic.

Also, friendly reminder you can help support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, follow us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at thisthingruleshow@gmail.com

Intro contains a bunch of sound effects and clips from Eminem’s “My Name Is,” a 1996 Lisa Frank commercial starring Mila Kunis, a Circle K commercial for scratch-and-sniff mother’s day stickers starring a bunch of live skunks, and The Simpsons.

Arcades, as in a place where a bunch of arcade cabinets, pinball tables, and other assorted large and loud coin operated distraction units were collected to entertain people, started in the late 70s/early 80s. For the sake of this episode we’re gonna skip to this era and not dwell on the penny arcade/nickelodeon era of old timey crank machines you can still find at Disneyland or Fisherman’s Wharf or whatever. So yeah not, the ones you fed chump change to that showed a horse running or other stuff that used to make your grandfather lose his mind when he was eight and there was only one company making peanut butter. No, we’re talking about those dim, laser lit halls with the sticky neon carpets and maybe a counter where you could exchange tickets for prizes.

Intro contains clips from Terminator 2: Judgment Day (The Movie), Altered Beast, Pac-Man, Killer Instinct and Mortal Kombat 3.

In space, no one can hear you scream, but in this episode, you can definitely hear us get real excited about Alien, the original 1979 film that started it all. Enough has been said about how it’s an undeniable classic that revolutionized cinema, etc, but it’s also a miracle it ever got made. Did you know that bringing the various forms of the iconic Xenomorph to life required actual human bones, a pile of rancid shellfish, and an industrial size oil drum full of KY Jelly - and only one of these things was at the request of H.R. Giger. Join us as we frantically gush like malfunctioning synthetic science officers about how much we adore this movie, and really try not to talk about the sequels too much (but it’s hard, because they rule too.) We also discuss our first exposure to this series, how our perspectives have changed since growing up. Also, Max would like to apologize for blanking on the names of Veronica Cartwright, who plays Lambert and falls backwards off a couch, and John Hurt, who plays chestburster victim Kane in Alien AND Spaceballs.

Intro contains clips from an H.R. Giger in a DVD special feature, Alien (duh) and “Hello! Ma Baby” by Howard & Emerson as featured in Spaceballs.

Do you know the definition of insanity? Well, doing the same thing over and over again, but especially when that thing involves using a grenade launcher to blow the door off a wild animal cage, simultaneously freeing the dangerous beast, but also setting it on fire and pissing it off so much that it runs around biting bad guys in the neck while also setting them on fire too. And that’s a thing you can do (and which we’ve done) in numerous Far Cry games. Ubisoft’s long-running open world first-person shooter slash stealth action series has taken us to a lot of crazy places, literally and figuratively. Join us on a whirlwind tour of the highs and lows of this series, where it got its start, our favorite moments, and some tidbits of trivia and personal anecdotes about causing virtual mayhem in beautiful places.

Also, friendly reminder you can help support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, follow us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at thisthingruleshow@gmail.com

Intro contains clips from Far Cry 3, Far Cry 4 and Far Cry 3 Blood Dragon

In honor of the holidays (and us being pretty fried because of the holidays, and the entire year that preceded them) this week’s episode is even more laid back and conversational than normal, and we hit record without any specific topic in mind. After some muttering and grumbling about getting older, and also how we were friends with Dash Rendar without realizing it, the conversation turned to what we’ve been listening to this year, music-wise. So, something along the lines of Max and Brian’s Spotify Wrapped: The Radio Drama, but with some of our usual detours and tangents.

For anyone who prefers a more cohesive, less shoegaze-y audio product, don’t worry, This Thing Rules will return to its regularly scheduled programming in 2025. Thanks for bearing with us during these trying and festive holiday times.
Here are the albums, artists and music-adjacent media we mentioned (or alluded to) in chronological order:

Alli Goertz - Peeled back

LL Cool  - The FORCE

Rome Streetz - Hat & garden hold up

Griselda Records (Conway The Machine, Benny The Butcher, Westside Gunn, Daringer)

HEALTH - RAT WARS ULTRA EDITION

Pixel grip - ARENA / Stamina

Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross - Challengers [MIXED] by Boys Noize

NIN - Add Violence

NIN - The Fragile

The Sparks Brothers (2021 documentary)

Sparks - No. 1 in Heaven

Sparks - Exotic Creatures of the Deep

Abba - Gold (greatest hits record, but also 33 ⅓ book about said record)

Beastie Boys Book by Ad-Rock and Mike D (book and audiobook)

Beastie Boys - Hello Nasty

Madonna: Like an Icon by Lucy O’Brien (book)

The Prodigy - Fat of the Land (and its album art by JAKe Detonator)

Rage Against The Machine - Evil Empire

Rage Against The Machine - Renegades

Beck - Sea Change

Nirvana - Nevermind

Nirvana - In Utero

Nirvana - Unplugged

What? They do! They let us chew our food, smile, grimace, and give us something to floss in a literal, non-Fortnite dance fashion. Join as we marvel at those fascinating, slightly creepy lil’ pearly whites, their place in popular culture, and various anecdotes involving dental professionals, tooth fairies, and everything in between. Special thanks to A.C. MacKenzie for writing in and suggesting such a mundane yet bizarre subject for a podcast.

Also, friendly reminder you can help support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, follow us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at thisthingruleshow@gmail.com

Intro includes clips from Lady Gaga’s “Teeth,” Batman (1989), Looney Tunes, Del The Funky Homosapien’s “If You Must,” Yoshi’s Island and The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Extended Edition, obviously)

Action figures rule! We’ve been collecting small articulated plastic humanoids for decades, and we’re not quite sure why! We dig into the history of these highly collectible NOT-dolls from their Kung-Fu Grip origins with the original 12-inch G.I. Joe, to Kenner’s 3 ¾” Star Wars line that revolutionized the industry, to our own personal origin stories bashing together Dengars, Dreadnoks, and Deadpools in our backyards as kids… and on our desks as adults. 

For more on the history of action figures, you can do a lot worse than The Toys That Made Us on Netflix, and Toy Galaxy on YouTube also has some great deep dives on forgotten playthings. If you want some up-to-date looks at action figures, the fine folks at ToyArk and Preternia hold it down, and if you’d like a glimpse at our combined toy collection at its peak, we gave a little tour of that a long time ago in a workplace far, far away.

Evil dies tonight! Or, gets discussed at great length. We’re joined by our dear friend Ryan Scott to discuss Halloween, the long-running series of slasher movies based on the even longer-running actual holiday. SPOILER WARNING! You’ve had plenty of time to get up to speed on this 40+ year old movie series, so we’re assuming you’ve watched them all, or don't care if we tell you how the crappy ones end.

Intro contains clips from Halloween (1978) and Halloween III: Season of the Witch

From Cadbury Creme Eggs to Peeps to the ubiquitous egg-adjacent jelly bean, Easter candy is one of the sweetest parts of springtime. The vaguely pagan animal-centric traditions that come along with it really don’t make a ton of sense, especially in relation to the main event’s significance in Christianity, but we’re not complaining. So, let’s talk about oviparous lagomorphs, marshmallow baby chicks, and some of our fondest pastel-colored memories.

It would totally rule if you helped support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, You can also show your support by following us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at thisthingruleshow@gmail.com

Intro contains clips of Cadbury Creme Egg and Peeps commercials, and Mallrats.

It’s once again that time of year when those breakfast ghouls descend upon the cereal aisle. We’re of course referring to Count Chocula, Franken Berry, Boo Berry and their fairweather cohorts, Frute Brute and Yummy Mummy, as well as their newest addition, Carmella Creeper. We delve into the history of these bizarre breakfast mascots, including their controversies, artistic endeavors, and occasional appearances in major motion pictures.

Intro contains clips of old Monster Cereal commercials. You probably could’ve put that together.

Let’s face it, without a skeleton, you’d be a puddle of floppy wet stuff. Plus, without skeletons, Halloween decorations would be 90% pumpkin, and that would be stupid as hell. Let’s talk about these terrifying latices of rigid calcium and other stuff we all use to wobble our haggard wet gets across this miserable earth, and also, our favorite instances of skeletal and bone-adjacent characters in pop culture. You probably won’t learn anything about the human body this episode, but you might learn something about human bodies that have posthumously appeared in some classic films.

Intro contains clips from Andrew Gold’s “Spooky Scary Skeletons” (which was recorded in 1996, despite regularly being associated with a 1929 Disney short) Stevie Wonder’s “Skeletons” and an excerpt from Return of the Living Dead, which is an absolute blast of a film and if you haven’t seen it, get on that.

Gummi candy rules! But wait, what counts as “gummi?” Gummi bears, sure, but not gum. What about fruit snacks, Swedish Fish, Jelly Babies, and so on? It’s hard to say, but one thing’s for certain: that Haribo bear is suspicious as all hell. Still, we’re willing to let it slide because he makes such yummy little candies. We (“we”) actually did some research for this episode, and we’re happy to report that the origins of our favorite sweets and treats are as weird as we’d hoped.

If you’d like to read the wonky (but not Wonka-y) candy book Max keeps referring to, it’s Sweets: A History of Candy by Tim Richardson. You can also just watch Unwrapped, which is probably more appropriately junk foody in its presentation. 

Intro contains clips from commercials for Trolli Sour Brite-Crawlers, Amazin’ Fruit Gummy Bears, Bassett’s Jelly Babies as well as the terrifying mid-credits scene of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and the episode of The Simpsons with the Gummi Venus De Milo and Homer getting accused of sleeping nude in an oxygen tent to get sexual powers.

Whether you love labyrinths, mystery meatballs, funny sounding words or great deals on housewares and modular furniture, IKEA has it all. Join us as we follow the arrows on the floor through the history, charm, quirks, and shockingly dark side of the world’s largest furniture chain… that also sells cat leashes and hot dogs.

It would totally rule if you helped support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, You can also show your support by following us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at thisthingruleshow@gmail.com

Intro contains clips from a commercial for IKEA’s first American store, Fight Club and Deadpool.

The most iconic cat and mouse duo have been ruthlessly trying to kill each other for almost a century, and there’s something timeless about good old fashioned slapstick animal violence. Join us as we dig into the history of this timeless, hilarious, often messed-up, and occasionally flat-out problematic cartoon.

Also, friendly reminder you can help support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, follow us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at thisthingruleshow@gmail.com

Intro contains clips from Full House, The Simpsons and of course Tom & Jerry.