The Philosophy of Sex (Becuming)

It’s likely that at some point, you’ve found your morals have felt incongruent with a sexual scenario you’ve found yourself in. While this can feel pretty blindsiding, what would it mean to stop and think about it? Damon Young is an award-winning philosopher and author of “On Getting Off”, a book about sex and philosophy. In the book, Damon urges us to grapple with the complexity of sex in an honest and self-deprecating way. In this episode, Damon and Caroline discuss what it means to think about sex, the importance of humour in the bedroom, and embracing the ethical dilemmas sex gives rise to. Find “On Getting Off” and Damon’s other works here.

Recommendations from Damon:

Ocean Vuong, On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous 

Irving Singer, Sex

David Halperin, ‘What is Sex For?’, Critical Inquiry 43 (2016).

Anna Clark, Desire: A History of Human Sexuality

Arthur Schopenhauer, ‘Metaphysics of Sexual Love’, in The World as Will and Representation, Volume 2

Audre Lorde, ‘The Uses of the Erotic’ in Sister Outsider 

Carmen Maria Machado, Her Body and Other Parties.

Jordy Rosenberg, Confessions of the Fox.

Milan Kundera, ‘The Hitchhiking Game’ in

Laughable Loves. 

James Baldwin, Another Country 

Sharon Olds, The Connisuers of Slugs

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@becuming.me

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Have you ever thought about the relationship between time and pleasure? Sex and pleasure are temporal experiences, meaning how we relate to time can impact how frequently we experience pleasure both while we’re having sex, and when we’re not. 

As Philosopher Willam James suggested, time is something we can sense. “A day full of excitement will pass ‘ere we know it.’ On the contrary, a day full of waiting, of unsatisfied desire for change, will seem a small eternity.” 

Our consciousness is like a stream that can include, past, present and future sensations at any given moment. Our perception of time is dependent on our flow of consciousness; whether we are attached to what was, living in the moment, or are in anticipation. 

If we are in a constant state of distraction, experiencing pleasure will be extremely difficult. In a world where pressure on our pace of living and attention is seemingly ever-increasing, connecting with pleasures past, present, and future can be extremely difficult.

These concepts can be seemingly esoteric. But as this week’s guest, embodiment and somatics coach, Euphemia Russell reminds us, by understanding how we relate to time and spaciousness, we’re able to cultivate more pleasure in our lives. 

You might’ve heard Euphemia in our previous episodes. This week, we invited Euphemia back to unpack the themes of their new book, like what a pleasure spectrum is and how to cultivate pleasure and connection as individuals, and as a community. Euphemia talks about exploring the depths and boundaries of your pleasure. We also answer some guest questions about embodiment. 

Euphemia grapples with any of the harder-to-grasp elements of sex and sexuality and shines a light on the importance of reconceiving pleasure as not just something we experience during sex, but something that is available to us in unexpected moments.

You can find Euphemia’s book, Slow Pleasure here.

Connect with us:

@becuming.me

Becuming takes the frustration out of finding the perfect sex toy by sending you personalised recommendations. Check it out at www.becuming.me. 

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On the face of it, the sex industry appears to be a sex-positive haven. Growing rapidly, it's become a highly competitive industry and an attractive investment opportunity for those with a buck or many to spare. However, with this comes the expected; individuals willing to put profit over honesty and integrity. Despite appearances, the sex toy industry in Australia and elsewhere is hugely male-dominated. Greenwashing is quickly becoming part of the industry's rhetoric. Social ideas, like feminism, are being co-opted for marketing purposes by companies who appear to be doing less than walking the talk.

Layer on top of this the unregulated nature of the industry, and you have a recipe for attracting cowboys by the dozen. 

Selling sex toys is about more than selling pink dildos, sexual wellness and female empowerment. The idea of this being all it takes feels pretty outdated. 

No one is better placed to comment on these issues than Alisha Williams, the founder of Rosewell. Rosewell is a sex care brand based in Brisbane, Australia. Alisha started the company roughly three years ago, and the brand has become hugely popular. I'm constantly impressed by the level of knowledge and care that go into Rosewell products, particularly in their manufacturing and supply chain processes. 

In this episode, Alisha and I share our experiences working in the sex industry in Australia. We discuss what it's like working as two young women in a male-dominated industry, the social implications of branding and the current ethical plights of the sex industry.

If you'd like to learn more about these issues, I'd recommend listening to our episode on sex toys from season one. 

Resources:

Rosewell products: Rosewell

Follow Rosewell on Instagram 

Connect with us:

@becuming.me

Becuming takes the frustration out of finding the perfect sex toy by sending you personalised recommendations. Check it out at www.becuming.me. 

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Welcome to The Philosophy of Sex. Today we’re talking about consent. The idea of affirmative consent first attracted attention in the early 1990s. Since then, consent laws have been passed in a number of countries. Alongside legislation, women are often told to know what they want and know how to communicate this to their partners. While women asserting their pleasure sounds positive, it assumes communication guarantees safety and that a satisfying experience will follow. But might the pressure to give a fully formed and enthusiastic ‘yes’, be at odds with the ability to take risks and explore sexually? 

If we look at the dominant culture around sex, in recent years, two requirements have emerged for good sex: consent and self-knowledge. This seems like progress. It takes women at their word and defuses the potential for sexual violence. But does conceit of absolute clarity place the burden of good sexual interaction on women’s behaviour?

In this episode, Caroline speaks with Katherine Angel to unpack the shortcomings of affirmative consent, 

Katherine is a writer and academic. She directs the MA in Creative and Critical Writing at Birkbeck University of London, where she teaches fiction, non-fiction, and critical work relating to sexuality, feminism, gender, and psychoanalysis. 

Katherine has a PhD in the history of psychiatry and sexuality from the University of Cambridge. She’s held multiple fellowships at academic institutions in Europe, the US and the UK, including Harvard and the University of London's Centre for the History of Emotions. Her research into 'female sexual dysfunction', American psychiatry,  sexology, and feminism has been published in journals including the History of the Human Sciences, Studies in Gender and Sexuality and Current Opinion in Psychiatry. 

From ‘No means No’ to #MeToo, Katherine shares her thoughts on consent and the complexities of female desire. A heads up that sexual violence, rape and assault are discussed during the episode, but no specific details are included. 

Resources:

Check out Katherine’s work here.

Connect with us:

@becuming.me

Becuming takes the frustration out of finding the perfect sex toy by sending you personalised recommendations. Check it out at www.becuming.me. 

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According to Pornhub data, Australia ranks 7th in the world for porn consumption. With data from other sources suggesting the average age of first consumption of porn is nine, it’s easy to see why porn use has become a contentious issue. So what gives porn its allure? What makes watching specific videos enticing? In light of what porn has the potential to reveal about human nature, can porn ever be merely entertainment? 

Today, to help explore what our porn use says about individuals and culture more generally is Giorgio Tricarico. Giorgio is a clinical psychologist and a Jungian analyst, and a member of the International Association for Analytical Psychology. He is the author of Lost Goddesses: A Kaleidoscope on Porn.

Giorgio argues porn is a complex symbol of our current world and a shining example of Jung’s idea of the 'Shadow' of the Western culture. While many books essentially show its negative sides; the risks of addiction and the danger of damaging the relationship between sexes, Giorgio’s work focuses on porn as a phenomenon of our times, exploring its many colours, trying to capture its inner logic and essence. 

Giorgio and Caroline discuss the social ideas that enabled the proliferation of mass internet porn, what our preferences and proclivities say about our psyches, and what Carl Jung’s idea of ‘Shadow’ has to contribute here. They also discuss what divinity and porn have in common, and the deeper layers of human experience that could be driving porn use.

Resources:

Giorgio’s work, Lost Goddesses: A Kaleidoscope on Porn. 

Recommended reading from Giorgio: 

"Gunther Anders' Philosophy of Technology: from Phenomenology to Critical Theory", by Babette Babich, Bloomsbury Academic

"The End of Meaning and the Birth of Man", Wolfgang Giegerich, Guild of Pastoral Psychology, 2004

"The Sacred Prostitute", Nancy Qualls-Corbett, Inner City Book, 1998

"Pornified: How Pornography is Transforming Our Lives, Our relationships, and Our Families", Times Books, 2007

 "The Principle of Individuation: Toward the Development of Human Consciousness" by Murray Stein, Chiron publication, 2013.

"Consequences of Capitalism: Manufacturing Discontent and Resistance", Marv Waterstone and Noam Chomsky, Haymarket Books, 2021

Connect with us:

@becuming.me

Becuming takes the frustration out of finding the perfect sex toy by sending you personalised recommendations. Check it out at www.becuming.me

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Today we’re talking about sex and technology. The world’s relationship with technology is complex and ever-changing. Dating apps, the pill, and digital mass porn, to name only a few, are technological innovations that have radically impacted our sexual lives and how we relate to each other. 

Technological innovations often inspire fear. Socrates worried about writing replacing oral culture. The hunter-gatherers probably moaned about the advent of agriculture. But who’s to say they weren’t right to moan?

In the 1850s, during the Industrial Revolution, transcendentalists warned how the advent of a mechanistic and technological age could impact humanity. Henry Thoreau wrote during the industrial revolution: “Our inventions are often an improved means to an unimproved end.” However ingenious an invention may seem, it will likely have unintended side effects and even shape who we are as people, in ways that are not always obvious or positive. 

At the same time, technology has also greatly enhanced our freedoms and choices for our bodies. It’s given us the ability to have more orgasms, to have children, to not have children, and to connect outside our usual social circles. Increasingly, it’s assisting in improving how we educate people about sexuality and creating new ways of managing sexual assault prevention and reporting.

So, in light of this, how should we develop technologies that relate to human sexuality and intimacy? What social problems can be solved using technology? Why do technological solutions so often feel like a bandaid for deeper issues? 

The challenges surrounding technology are often explored in black and white. This week Caroline has asked Bryony Cole to help analyse the grey areas. 

Bryony Cole is the founder and host of the Future of Sex podcast, where she explores the intersection between sex and tech. Since the podcast's success over the last seven years, she’s founded Sextech School, a program helping new sextech businesses commercialise. From interviewing owners of sex dolls to running sex tech hackathons, Bryony has been deeply involved in the sex tech industry since the early realisation of its potential value. She is a wealth of knowledge on how the relationship between technology and sex has developed, and how it continues to do so. 

Resources:

Check out Bryony’s work here. 

Listen to The Future of Sex Podcast here.

Connect with us:

@becuming.me

Becuming takes the frustration out of finding the perfect sex toy by sending you personalised recommendations. Check it out at www.becuming.me. 

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In September 2021, the International Organisation for Standardisation (or ISO) published its first design and safety requirements for sex toys after a two-year project.

The ISO project was kicked off by, today’s guest, Swedish surgeon Dr Martin Dahlberg, who realised he was increasingly performing operations to remove sex toys lodged in people’s rectums.

Martin is a surgeon at the Södersjukhuset Hospital in Stockholm, Sweden. He got his medical degree back in 2011, and has performed several hundred surgical procedures throughout his career. 

Sprinkled amongst them are those that involve the removal of rectal foreign bodies. That is to say, Dahlberg has surgically freed a number of objects from a number of butts over the years. At times, he’s even found himself in the position of operating on the same patient twice.

Dahlberg began comparing notes with his colleagues. In January of 2019, they put together an academic study concerning the prevalence of retained sex toys among the Swedish population. They found that the number of incidences was on the rise, particularly among men.

After reviewing a number of cases performed at his hospital, he found that the rectal insertion of vaginal toys was most commonly associated with major surgery.

While people getting sex toys, and a wild plethora of things, stuck in their butts, has objective comical value, a rise in the issue raises interesting questions around education and regulation that ensures people’s safety. 

Following the study, Dahlberg contacted the Swedish Standard Institute (SIS), a non-profit association that assists in developing standards across various industries. The aim was to add sex toys to the agenda.

Following a two-year project, the standards have now been released. To comply with the new ISO standards, manufacturers of sex toys must use “body-safe” material in the event of contact with the genital and anal areas, use a design to minimise the risk of injury during reasonable and predictable use, and provide sufficient information to ensure people’s safety. However, what effect do these standards have? Do sex toy companies even take the standards seriously?

A statement from Lovehoney Group, the parent company behind We-Vibe and one of the manufacturers that helped develop the safety standard, says it is up to each country’s regulators to enact laws to make the standard mandatory.

So who should be responsible for ensuring the safety of consumers bodies? Governments? retailers? or should customers be responsible for doing their own research? 

Connect with us: @becuming.me

Becuming takes the frustration out of finding the perfect sex toy by sending you personalised recommendations. Check it out at www.becuming.me. 

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The contraceptive pill has an interesting and, at times, ethically dubious history. Biologists John Rock and Gregory Pincus team up to develop the birth control pill, funded by two million dollars from philanthropist Katharine Dexter McCormick and spurred on by contraceptive crusader Margaret Sanger. 

For years Pincus had been searching for a project that might establish his greatness. While there were many possible risks in taking on the pill project, it concerned the area of science he knew best: mammalian reproduction. 

He knew that his progestins (synthetic progesterone) stopped ovulation in rabbits and rats. The next step was to test them on women. And to do that, he would need a doctor who could reassure patients they were safe. 

There had never been a medicine made for healthy people—and certainly not one that would be taken daily. The risks were enormous. Pincus settled on gynaecologist John Rock. Rock was attractive, well respected and most importantly, Catholic.

After teaming up, Pincus and Rock began trials in 1954. State laws prohibiting contraceptive research made it difficult to set up trials, so Rock and Pincus controversially first tested the drug on male and female patients at the Worcester State Psychiatric Hospital in Massachusetts and then on women in the slums of Puerto Rico and Haiti.

The first oral contraceptive pill (Enovid) was approved by the US Food and Drugs Administration on 9 May 1960. It was released in Australia on 1 February 1961 under the name Anovlar.

More than half a century on, the impacts of the pill are remarkable. It’s hard to think of an invention that has impacted women’s position in society more. Women were free of the social boxes and biology that had previously constrained them. They didn’t have to fear unwanted pregnancies and could have risk-free sex, just like men. From this, we saw the sexual revolution. 

Approximately 70% of Australian women of reproductive age employ some form of birth control. On the basis of 2013 data, 27–34% of women used oral contraception. This number has been steady for decades. 

Despite its ubiquity, dialogue about how the pill works and how it can impact women is rare. And as it turns out, its potential side effects aren’t insignificant. The pill has been found to impact the mood, stress response, and sexual appetite of many women who take it. The pill can change everything from how women cope with stress to who women want to have sex with. It’s also been associated with an increased risk of anxiety and depression, particularly in younger women. 

So how does the pill work? What effect does it have on the people who take it? And what run-on effects does this have for wider society?

To answer these questions, Caroline enlisted the help of Dr Sarah E Hill. Sarah is an award-winning research psychologist and professor at TCU in Fort Worth, Texas. Working at the intersection of evolutionary biology, social psychology, and neuroscience, her research is aimed at understanding the role hormones, the immune system, and the environment play in sexual and relationship behaviours, especially in women. Her book ‘How The Pill Changes Everything’ was released in 2019.

Sarah and Caroline discuss the role of evolutionary psychology in helping us understand sexual behaviour, what the pill is and what it can change for those who use it.

Connect with us: @becuming.me

Becuming takes the frustration out of finding the perfect sex toy by sending you personalised recommendations. Check it out at www.becuming.me. 

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Hey, hello. Caroline here. After a brief hiatus, we’re back with another episode of The Philosophy of Sex! In this episode, I discuss sex and law with author, journalist, and activist, Bri Lee. 

A lot has changed within Australian consent law in the last 12 months. In June, NSW enacted affirmative consent laws that require people to give and obtain consent before sex. Victoria followed suit a few months later. After a disheartening 2021 awash with allegations of sexism and sexual violence within our political and legal systems, the newly implemented laws felt deeply consequential and monuments. 

When these new laws were introduced, I was simultaneously relieved, overjoyed, and concerned that they are merely a bandaid for a much bigger problem. Law helps us when something goes wrong. In some cases, it can be a deterrent. However, how do we prevent sexual violence from happening in the first place? And can the law be responsible for this?

While consent law is undeniably important, and a huge step forward, Bri and I discuss whether legislation alone can genuinely curb rates of sexual violence. We discuss the need for shifts in cultural attitudes and asking deeply uncomfortable questions like why predominantly men perpetrate sex crimes, and how we respond to this constructively. Bri and I also explore issues of bias, and whether ideas of objectivity serve or hinder the justice system. 

Bri is the author of three books, including Eggshell Skull, a memoir chronicling her time working as a judge’s associate while pursuing her own sexual assault case. She is currently completing PhD in law at the University of Sydney, where she lectures in media law. Bri has been a vocal advocate for improvements to consent law and sexual violence law, particularly in Queensland. 

This conversation happens in two parts. The first, looking at the criminal justice system from a survivor’s standpoint. Bri shares her story and explains the process of pursuing her own case. The second part explores the wider issue of reducing sexual violence in society, and whether the law is an effective method for creating such reductions.

This conversation is about consent, accountability and our many blindspots in working towards a world with less sexual violence. Before listening, please bear in mind this conversation discusses sexual abuse; however, no graphic details are shared.

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Has anyone ever called you ‘anal’, or maybe suggested you have ‘mummy’ or ‘daddy’ issues? Perhaps you’ve been the one to dish out these titles. 

For all these terms, we have Sigmund Freud to thank. Freud is widely regarded as the founder of psychoanalysis, a field of theory and therapy that grapples with the unconscious mind. In modern times, Freud is also often regarded as a woman-hating cokehead. 

His work has been the subject of decades of criticism and but also absolute praise. Irrespective of how you feel about Freud, the pervasive nature of his thinking is undeniable. Many of his thoughts still underpin Western ideas of sexuality. 

Over the years, countless interpretations, including entire sub-branches of psychology, have emerged in response to his work. His intellectual legacy is astonishing; traversing sexuality, dreams, development, and beyond. Poet W H Auden describes Freud as providing "a whole climate of opinion, under which we conduct our different lives." Despite this, popular understanding of what Freud actually wrote and said is rare. 

Today’s guest, Jamieson Webster, is someone who has spent significant time reading, contemplating, and responding to Freud’s work. Jamieson is a psychoanalyst and author based in New York. She has worked as an analyst in SoHo for many years, taught the subject at The New School in New York, and recently wrote Disorganisation and Sex, which explores the endlessly disorienting nature of sexuality. 

Jamieson views psychoanalysis through a philosophical lens, grounding many of Freud’s seemingly abstract ideas. Agreeing with Freud, Jamieson demonstrates that since psychoanalysis concerns things that make us uncomfortable, it will always face resistance.

In this broad conversation, Jamieson and Caroline discuss many of Freud’s central concepts, like the Death Drive, the Oedipus complex, Phallocentrism, and Freud’s often misrepresented views on gender. They also discuss what a psychoanalyst is, and what role they play in helping people understand sexuality. 

Learn more about Jamieson’s work here.

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The Philosophy of Sex, season two is here! In this episode, we’re exploring the complex relationship between sexuality and religion. You’ll hear from three religious leaders who’ve worked hard to reconcile their beliefs and their sexualities; Rabbi Denise Eger, Imam Mushin Hendricks, and Minister Josephine Ipkin. 

These three religious leaders defy expectations of what it means to exist within their respective faiths and show how modern characterisations of religion, and its relationship to sex, can be more rich and complex than we might imagine…

Learn more about Rabbi Eger

Learn more about Moshin Hendricks 

Learn more about Josephine Ipkin

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Becuming.me 

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Host and producer: Caroline Moreau-Hammond 

Editor and composer: Zoltan Fecso

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Back in March, we hosted our first live event with Australia's leading architecture commission, MPavilion. This week, we're releasing the recording with you all.

This conversation explores how design impacts our most intimate moments and how technology can be designed as a catalyst for connection. To help investigate, Caroline invited three panellists; RMIT professor and sex toy designer Judith Glover, founder of sexual wellness brand Normal, Lucy Wark, and author and sex-tech researcher, Jenney Kennedy.

The panel explores questions such as, how should we design technologies related to human sexuality and intimacy? Which sexual dilemmas can be solved using technology and which can’t? Why do technological solutions so often feel like a bandaid for more profound issues of connection and intimacy?

Learn more about MPavilion

Learn more about Judith Glover

Learn more about Lucy Wark

Learn more about Jenny Kennedy

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Becuming.me 

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Host and producer: Caroline Moreau-Hammond 

Editor and composer: Zoltan Fecso

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Today’s guest is Dr Avgi Skatepolou, author of “Sexuality Beyond Consent; Risk, Race and Traumatophilia”. 

Avgi maintains that society has become overly focused on healing trauma and needs to reroute its attention to what subjects do with their trauma. She calls attention to a series of challenging questions: Why is sexuality beyond consent worth risking, and how does risk become a way of engaging with the opaque parts of ourselves? And in what ways does eliminating risk remove the potential for erotic transformation?  

Agvi draws unexpected links between ideas that are so often seen at odd within one another; cruelty and care, sadism and ethics, trauma and expansion, and perversion and purity. Avgi writes about ideas typically relegated to the morbid, dark and unspeakable and sheds light on their potentially transformative powers, something she refers to as ‘erotic astonishment.’   

Blending philosophy, queer theory, and race theory with her extensive experience in practice as an analyst, she proposes that accepting the strange within, not to master trauma but to rub against it, may open people up to encounters with the enigmatic, astounding and unique forms of care.  

Buy ‘Sexuality Beyond Consent’ here. 

Follow Avgi here. 

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In 2018, the sex toy company Dame decided to advertise in the New York City subway, run by the MTA. 

In September, the MTA's ad agency, Outfront Media, began working with Dame on a campaign that would run in subway cars, showcasing sex toys against neutral backgrounds and featuring slogans that read, “Toys, for sex” and customer reviews.

By late November of that year, however—after Dame says it spent significant money revising and developing ads in an attempt to meet the ad agency's suggestions for approval—the MTA completely and abruptly changed course on Dame's campaign, as well as all other sex toy ads on public transit. The MTA rejected Dame's ad campaign, and publicly published guidelines on advertising that prohibited any “sexually oriented business" from advertising on MTA property.

Meanwhile, ads for viagra and other erectile dysfunction products continued to grace the eyes of countless New York commuters, with no questions asked. So in 2019, Dame sued the MTA for the arbitrary censorship they had experienced. 

This story demonstrates the countless hurdles and discrimination companies within the sex industry face in trying to market and discuss their products.  Whether it’s Facebook, Instagram, Tik Tok or billboards, talking about sex and pleasure in a frank and open way on the internet, and in the real world, is extremely difficult.

Alexandra Fine, the Founder of Dame, has navigated these challenges in many creative ways. After graduating with her master's in Clinical Psychology from Columbia University in New York, Alexandra founded Dame Products alongside engineer Janet Lieberman in 2014 with a line of vibrators aimed at closing the "pleasure gap."

Since then, Dame has raised upwards of $11 million and run a number of successful crowdfunding campaigns, leveraging platforms such as Indigogo and Kickstarter. At the company's helm, Alexandra possesses the resilience and energy required to bring light to an industry that many are attempting to hide. 

In this episode, Alexandra and Caroline discuss the various hurdles sex companies face, particularly when it comes to marketing and fundraising. Alexandra shares her experience suing the MTA and advocating for change within the industry. 

Learn more about here Dame here.

Follow Alexandra here. 

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Gloryholes have long been associated with gay culture. As a great way to maintain anonymity in contexts where gay sex is illegal or socially unacceptable, they come from a history of persecution. 

However, they're certainly not a new thing. There is evidence Gloryholes existed in ancient Greece, Egypt, and Japan, before being exported to Europe in the 1700s. Given their history of concealment, it shouldn't come as any surprise that Vatican city has one of the largest numbers of glory holes per capita. Gloryholes are a fantastic example of how social ideas influence human sexual behaviour. 

Emil is a Filipino-Australian artist, sex worker and HIV + health educator who, in 2021, began operating a glory hole as part of their art practice. Emil's work sits delicately at the intersection of race, gender, sexuality, art, and unashamedly being a slut. Their work is subversive, clever and sexy.

In this episode, Emil and Caroline discuss navigating gender and power dynamics in sex, being a generous lover, and how engaging in alternative sexual practices can support sexual healing. 

You can find Emil on Instagram at @babydilfx. You won't regret following them. 

Connect with us:

@becuming.me

Becuming takes the frustration out of finding the perfect sex toy by sending you personalised recommendations. Check it out at www.becuming.me. 

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Everyone's talking about sex. But, where's the information really coming from?

I’m Caroline Moreau-Hammond and this is a show called The Philosophy of Sex, where I want to talk more deeply about what sex means to us - and why?

This podcast is for anyone who’s interested in why we think and behave the way we do. 

What are the philosophies we’ve inherited through history?

How do we deal with Taboo?

What role does medicalisation play?

What is Tantra and BDSM?

How is technology transforming the sex toy industry?

We’re going to line up the facts, without judgement, to help you form your own Philosophy of Sex. Tune in, I’m sure it’ll make you see sex in a way you’ve never seen it before. 

We're on Instagram @becumingme

"It's not about normalisation, because it's normal to exist as we are, but it's about having the autonomy or the choice. That is what we should be pushing for." - Cheyenne M Davis

Credits:

Producer & host: Caroline Moreau-Hammond
Producer, editor & original music: Zoltan Fecso

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This episode explores the many forces that shape our sexual behaviour. From college campuses to public sex beaches, we scrutinise how Western philosophy, dualistic thinking, gender, and binary defaults have shaped the way we have sex. 

We examine hookup culture with author and researcher Lisa Wade. Her book American Hookup: A New Culture of Sex on Campus explores the casual sex ‘scripts’ found on college campuses in the US. Lisa explains what hook up scripts are, why they’re so prevalent on campuses and the impact this has on students.

Then, we’re off France, to a public sex beach with researcher and author Victoria Brooks. Victoria’s PHD and subsequent book Fucking Law: The Search For Her Sexual Ethics is an urgent call to question the inherited philosophies that we use to define our sexuality. Victoria talks about the shame and judgement that Western philosophy projects onto women’s sexuality. 

Philosophy professor Raja Halwani gives us an analysis of Kantian moral philosophy in relation to sex and desire. We start to see some conundrums emerge…

Euphemia Russell, a pleasure coach and author, breaks down the dualistic and gendered way we tend to think about sex. They encourage us to notice what we’ve inherited vs. what we actually believe. 

The first step to this, is pausing to notice...

Resources:

Lisa Wade’s book American Hookup: https://lisa-wade.com/american-hookup/

Victoria Brooks’ book Fucking Law: https://www.booktopia.com.au/fucking-law-victoria-brooks/ebook/9781789040685.html

Articles and books by Raja Halwani: https://philpeople.org/profiles/raja-halwani

Pleasure coaching and writing by Euphemia Russell: https://www.iwishyouknew.net/

Connect with us:
 
@becumingme
https://www.becuming.me/

Credits:

Producer & host: Caroline Moreau-Hammond
Producer, editor & original music: Zoltan Fecso

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Would you take an orgasm pill, if it existed? If you didn’t want to, what other roads to more pleasurable sex are available? In this episode, we examine the influences impacting how women relate to their pleasure. 

Women have been taught to have a voice and demand egalitarian treatment in all areas of their lives. Yet, this doesn’t seem to have extended to sex. Today we’ll be interrogating how we got here…

We hear from Liz Canner, creator of the documentary Orgasm Inc., about the race to medicalise the female orgasm. Sexologist Kassandra Mourikis also joins us to discuss how myths and misconceptions have left many people incorrectly feeling broken and abnormal. 

Two brave women, Laura Eustace and Francesca Gonzales, share their stories about working through sexual abuse trauma and fighting for their right to pleasure. 

As we unpack the many false truths surrounding female sexuality, from marketing tactics to pharmaceuticals, we explore the risks of exploitation and misinformation. 

Resources:

If you have experienced sexual assault or sexual harassment and feel you would like to speak to someone for support or information, 1800RESPECT (Phone: 1800 737 732) can provide counselling 24-hours a day, 7 days a week.

Laura Eustace speaks up about her trauma at The Flourish Project. Find her on Instagram @flourishprojectnz

Francesca Gonzales is a Melbourne based songwriter and vocal coach. Find her on Instagram @francescagonzales_

Kassandra Mourikis is a trauma-informed sexologist based in Melbourne - https://www.pleasurecentredsexology.com.au/

Liz Canner is the award-winning director of Orgasm Inc - http://www.orgasminc.org/about-the-filmmaker.php

You can watch Orgasm Inc here - https://vimeo.com/ondemand/orgasmcp

Connect with us:
 
@becumingme
https://www.becuming.me/

Credits:

Producer & host: Caroline Moreau-Hammond
Producer, editor & original music: Zoltan Fecso

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Google “sex and taboo” and you’ll be returned results like “It’s 2021. Why is sex still taboo?” It’s a fair question. It is 2021, so why is sex still taboo? 

In this episode, we explore the underlying purposes taboo serves when it comes to sex. We interrogate whether sexual taboos are fundamentally at odds with shame-free sex, and discuss how our erotic imaginations can contradict our ethical positions. Some taboos may contribute to sexual desire, but is there a way to explore them while reducing potential harm to others?

Over the next thirty minutes, Cheyenne M Davis, Sue Jaye Johnson, Jeanne Proust and Caroline talk about the imbalances and problems that emerge when taboos aren’t examined carefully.

In this episode, we dig into the nuances of sex positivity, kink and fetishisation, and explore the delicate relationship between power and privilege, and personhood and autonomy.  

Resources:

Read these articles by Cheyenne, breaking down toxicity and phobia in the kink community https://medium.com/unveild 

Find Cheyenne on Instagram - @cheymodee 

Read articles by Sue and other contributors on The Pleasure Report: https://thepleasurereport.substack.com/ 

Read more of Jeanne Proust’s work: https://jeanneproust.github.io/index.html
Listen to her podcast "Can you phil it" here.

Connect with us:
 
@becumingme
https://www.becuming.me/

Credits:

Producer & host: Caroline Moreau-Hammond
Producer, editor & original music: Zoltan Fecso

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When you hear the word Tantra, what comes to mind? Marathon sex sessions or ancient Eastern spiritual practice?

Depending on where you look, you might get the impression that Tantra is anything from a lifestyle choice, to sexual therapy, to a religious practice. In this episode, we explore the grey areas surrounding Tantra. 

Advocates of Tantra, such as Tantric practitioner Elisa Caro, report improved intimacy and healing from trauma, while others, such as cultural critic Vikram Zutshi, warn of cultural appropriation and the extreme reduction of esoteric philosophies. 

Along with Professor of Religious Studies, Sthaneshwar Timalsina, we discuss how Tantra has been adapted for secularised and capitalist environments, and what the potential impacts of this adaptation are. 

We’ll see how Tantra is becoming simultaneously subject to greater popularity and scrutiny…

Resources:

Find Elisa Caro’s work here - https://elisacaro.com/

Read ‘Tantra and The West’ by Sthaneshwar Timalsina: http://www.sutrajournal.com/tantra-and-the-west-sthaneshwar-timalsina

Read ‘The Pleasures and Perils of “Tantric Sex”’ by Vikram Zutshi: https://www.academia.edu/38756864/The_Pleasures_and_Perils_of_Tantric_Sex_

Connect with us:
 
@becumingme
https://www.becuming.me/

Becuming takes the frustration out of finding the perfect sex toy by sending you personalised recommendations. Check it out at www.becuming.me

Credits:

Producer & host: Caroline Moreau-Hammond
Producer, editor & original music: Zoltan Fecso

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

As an industry that has nearly tripled in size in the last three years, the future for sex toys is seemingly bright. With an influx of brands emerging and toy use becoming less stigmatised and more commonplace, we explore how the world of sex toys is rapidly changing. 

Lora DiCarlo shares how one mind-blowing orgasm led her to found her namesake company. 

Changing the way we think about sex toy design, industrial designer and Professor, Judith Glover shares her experience creating toys that put people’s pleasure at the centre. 

We also discuss how despite the growth and demand for sex toys, many barriers and discrimination exist against toy companies.

From increasing pleasure for those with disabilities to the orgasm gap, this episode explores how toys are so much more than a novelty or added extra.

Resources:

Find Judith Glover's work with DASHI here: http://dashi.rmitidsites.net.au/

Handi- Sex toys by and for disabled people: https://thatshandi.co/

Check out Lora DiCarlo's range of toys: https://loradicarlo.com/

Connect with us:
 
@becumingme
https://www.becuming.me/

Becuming takes the frustration out of finding the perfect sex toy by sending you personalised recommendations. Check it out at www.becuming.me

Credits:

Producer & host: Caroline Moreau-Hammond
Producer, editor & original music: Zoltan Fecso

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Would you consider yourself kinky or maybe more vanilla? Have you ever wanted to explore the world of BDSM, but felt a bit lost and intimidated?

In this episode, we explore the softer side of kink. By deconstructing some of the many misunderstandings surrounding kink and BDSM, we begin to see kink in a whole new light. 

Along with Professional Dominatrix and Gestalt Therapist Emma Steel, and author Janet Hardy, we traverse the nuances of power dynamics, communication, and safety.

Sex educator and disability advocate, Caz Killjoy, shows us the enormously vast ways kink can be experienced, sharing their experience of using kink to manage chronic pain and unpack harmful conditioning. 

We also discuss some of the conundrums that arise when the activities of underground communities become more mainstream, and the importance of education in preventing injuries and reducing harm. 

Resources:

Caz Killjoy has a bounty of writings on her website: https://connectwithcaz.com/

Caz co-founded The Disability and Sexuality Access Network: https://www.dasanetwork.org/

Emma Steel's website: https://en.lady-emma-steel.com/

The dungeon Emma co-owns - LUX: http://studioluxberlin.de/en/studio-lux.html

Read this interview with Janet Hardy and find her books here: https://www.bookdepository.com/author/Janet-W-Hardy

Connect with us:
 
@becumingme
https://www.becuming.me/

Becuming takes the frustration out of finding the perfect sex toy by sending you personalised recommendations. Check it out at www.becuming.me

Credits:

Producer & host: Caroline Moreau-Hammond
Producer, editor & original music: Zoltan Fecso

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You might remember Euphemia Russell from our first episode ‘Are we doing it right? Putting sex into perspective’.  This is the full-length uncut version of our interview with Euphemia.

Euphemia Russell is a pleasure coach, facilitator and author.  In this conversation we examine wants and desires, social conditioning, inherited gender binaries, slow pleasure, and the unsexy reality of sex.

Visit Euphemia’s website https://www.iwishyouknew.net/ for courses, coaching, writings and the imminent announcement of their book.
 
Follow Euphemia on Instagram @euphemia.russell

Connect with us:
 
@becumingme
https://www.becuming.me/

Credits:

Creator & host: Caroline Moreau-Hammond
Editor & original music: Zoltan Fecso

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to The Philosophy of Sex, long-play, I’m your host Caroline Moreau-Hammond. You might remember the name Jeanne Proust from our third episode of season 1 ‘Why is sex still taboo?’. 

Professor and Philosopher, Jeanne Proust (no relation to Marcel Proust) is a post-doctoral teaching fellow at Fordham University and an adjunct professor at New York University and Pace University in the United States. She has studied Philosophy and Visual Arts in Bordeaux, Berlin, and Paris and her PhD dissertation at the Panthéon-Sorbonne focused on the pathologies of willpower, both in philosophical and psychological perspectives, but her interests are wide including, Ethics, Philosophy of Technologies, Bioethics, Feminist theory, and Aesthetics. 

Jeanne is an advocate for a widening of philosophical education beyond academic frontiers; she regularly gives public talks in philosophy and produces her own podcast, "Can You Phil It?” which aims to make philosophical texts and ideas accessible to a wider audience.

In this episode, Jeanne and I examine taboo, the important role transgression plays in desire, the trivialisation of sexuality and the need for more nuanced conversations about taboo and sexuality. 

Because we weren’t able to include everything in Episode 1 of The Philosophy of Sex, please enjoy our full interview. 

Resources:

Can You Phil It podcast: Apple & Spotify  

Recommended reading by Jeanne: 

Virginie Despentes, King Kong Theory, 2006.

Michael Sandel, What Money Can't Buy: The Moral Limits of Markets, 2012. 

Andrea Dworkin, Pornography: Men Possessing Women, 1981. 

Catherine Millet, The Sexual Life of Catherine M., 2001

Ann Cahill, Overcoming objectification, A Carnal Ethics, 2011. 

Connect with us:

@becuming.me

Becuming takes the frustration out of finding the perfect sex toy by sending you personalised recommendations. Check it out at www.becuming.me.

Credits:

Creator & host: Caroline Moreau-Hammond
Editor & original music: Zoltan Fecso

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to The Philosophy of Sex, long-play, I’m your host Caroline Moreau-Hammond. You might remember the name Lisa Wade from our first episode of season 1 ‘Are we doing it right?Putting sex into perspective’. 

Professor and Sociologist, Lisa Wade is an associate professor at  Tulane University in New Orleans where she teaches gender and sexuality studies. Before receiving her PHD in sociology at The University of Wisconsin-Madison, Lisa earned an MA in human sexuality from New York University and a Bachelor of Arts and Philosophy from The University of California, Santa Barbara.

Her recent book American Hookup is an open minded, compassionate and unflinching account on the new culture of sex on American University campuses. 

Resources:

Lisa Wade - American Hookup: The New Culture of Sex on Campus

Connect with us:

@becuming.me

Becuming takes the frustration out of finding the perfect sex toy by sending you personalised recommendations. Check it out at www.becuming.me.

Credits:

Creator & host: Caroline Moreau-Hammond
Editor & original music: Zoltan Fecso

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to The Philosophy of Sex, long-play. This week, we’re speaking with Janet Hardy from the sixth episode of season 1 ‘Hardcore tenderness. Reinterpreting what we think about kink and BDSM.’ 

Janet W. Hardy is the author or co-author of thirteen books about alternative sexuality, including the groundbreaking bestseller The Ethical Slut. She is also the Founder of the Greenery Press, a publishing house based in California, specialises in books on BDSM and polyamory, with over 50 titles in print.

Janet is an experienced BDSM practitioner and she’s been educating people from across the globe on how to engage in BDSM and polyamory for over 20 years. Much of Janet’s work has contributed hugely to establishing a gold standard in behaviour within BDSM and polyamorous communities. And while her work focuses on BDSM and kink, I believe her advice is applicable to anyone who wants to have fulfilling sexual relationships. 

In this episode, Janet and I discuss identifying kinks, ways to explore them and how to communicate these to a partner. We also unpack what society often misunderstands about kink and its hidden powers. 

Janet is a wealth of knowledge and speaks with the level of frankness essential for great sexual communication. I can’t recommend Janet, and her co-author Doisse Easton’s work more. Please enjoy our full interview. 

You can read more about Janet and her work here: 

http://www.dossieeaston.com/books.html

https://slutandsons.com/

Connect with us:

@becuming.me

Becuming takes the frustration out of finding the perfect sex toy by sending you personalised recommendations. Check it out at www.becuming.me. 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.