The Parenting Reframe (Albiona Rakipi)

Separation anxiety is a normal part of childhood, but it can be difficult for both parents and children to handle. It's important to reframe separation anxiety as an opportunity to teach your child important life skills, such as how to manage their emotions and cope with change. When you approach separation anxiety with compassion and understanding, you're helping your child to develop a strong sense of security and trust.

Ways to Help Separation Anxiety

• Create a goodbye ritual. This could be something as simple as giving your child a hug, kiss, and telling them you'll be back soon.
• Practice short separations. Start by leaving your child for a few minutes at a time and gradually increase the length of the separations.
• Talk to your child about their fears. Let them know that it's okay to feel anxious, and that you'll be there for them when they need you.
• Reassure your child that you'll always come back.
• Make sure your child has a trusted caregiver when you're away.
• Be patient and understanding. Separation anxiety can be difficult for both parents and children. It's important to remember that your child is not trying to be difficult. They are simply expressing their love for you and their fear of being away from you.
• Be consistent. Try to stick to the same goodbye ritual and separation schedule each day. This will help your child to feel more secure and predictable.
• Be positive. Try to focus on the positive aspects of separation, such as the fun things your child will do while you're away.
• This is a way to teach your children that you, as a parent, have a life of your own as well. You shouldn’t feel guilty for this.

Resources:

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

For the topic of this solo episode I polled my audience to see what you wanted to hear about and the answer was unanimous: how to make morning routines easier. The hustle and bustle of back to school season can cause a lot of stress for kids and parents alike. New routines and schedules can be challenging to adapt to but making some small changes can help your family’s morning routines run smoothly right from the start. I have some unconventional tools that I use in my parent coaching to help make your morning and evening routines run more smoothly that I’m excited to share with you. 

When our kids end up making us late: 

• Being late can be very triggering for parents.
• When our kids can perceive we are stressed, they end up more stressed as well. 
• Practice being late while keeping yourself calm.
• Say to yourself, “I am safe if I am late today.”
• When you let go of the control and the power struggle to get out the door, things become easier for both you and your kids. 

Put the autonomy back on your child: 

• This is for kids who waste time doing other things instead of progressing through the morning routine. 
• The idea was created by Joe Newman, author of Raising Lions.
• Using your timer or stopwatch, allot a specific number of minutes to a morning task. Any time that your child goes over that allotment is totaled up and taken away at the end of the day from their free time.
• Always present yourself as “team kid,” not as punitive or that this is a punishment. It’s an opportunity to learn and grow about cause and effect.
• The child’s behavior changes on the second or third day because they want their free time to be theirs. 

Find out what things you can let go: 

• Think about all the things that go wrong in the morning from start to finish and decide where you can let go and give them more autonomy. 
• When we give strong willed kids some independence, they enjoy the feeling that they matter.
• Giving them a specific task and asking them for help is a great way for them to feel important and get them invested in what you need them to do. 
• Let go of things that cause struggles like clothing or breakfast choices. 

Give yourself enough time: 

• Even if your morning routine is taking longer than normal, having extra time will allow you to feel more calm. 
• You can always shift the time you allot as routines get easier and more fluid throughout the year. 

My upcoming offerings: 

• Make sure you are signed up for my email list for a free workshop in September all about The Time Conundrum - the feeling we don’t have enough time. We will talk about ruminating on anxious thoughts and the stress of parenting to reframe the way we think about time. My email list will be the first to know about this workshop! 
• I have opened up spots for my self-parenting program where you’ll get to work one-on-one with me to discover what is in your way to get to where you want to be the most. I give you a step by step plan to know exactly what to do when you start to feel lost, confused, or need a reframe. Three spots are available in September. 

https://theparentingreframe.com/application/

• I’m still doing child-centered parent coaching and have two spots available in September. If you have trouble with tantrums, behavior issues, or other parenting challenges, reach out! 

https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/p/free-discovery-call-ck6qf

Resources: 

Joe Newman - Raising Lions: https://www.raisinglions.com/about-joe

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

Follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe

Today we are reframing one of the most common things I see well-intended parents do; offering detailed explanations to your child, hoping this will encourage positive behaviors. We unpack why explanations are not the answer, and I ask you to consider the "why" underneath the behavior. 

What we go over on the most common parenting mistake: 

• Explanations are not the same as consequences
• Children are in a constant state of learning
• Developmentally appropriate behaviors and fostering healthy neurological development
• How to understand what your child's behavior is communicating
• Tackling challenging behaviors using simple and loving practices
• If you are ready to tackle your child's challenging behaviors, listen to this episode and start to unpack what your child's behavior is communicating to you.

Resources: 

I hope you found this episode helpful, for more parenting tips check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options

 https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

We will be discussing how to respond to tantrums in this episode. I did a recent post on tantrums and I talked about the three things not to do during a tantrum and I got a lot of questions on this. So this episode I am going over 5 questions that were asked. I am going over ways to help during a tantrum and also things I have learned to change in how I handle situations. I hope you enjoy it!  Please excuse my dog in the background, dogs have tantrums too!

How to Respond to Tantrums:

• 3 things not to do during a tantrum and why.
• Why we want to hold space for our kiddo during a tantrum.
• Why it’s important for kiddos to regulate their emotions and the effects it has on them.
• Ways to help during a tantrum.
• Make sure you are on my email list so that you can sign up for my first-ever Live workshop on tantrums, the information comes out this week!
• How to handle tantrums around 15 months. A little different than when they are 3.
• How framing the situation before a tantrum is helpful.
• How using PARR (Pause, Acknowledge, Respond, Reflect) during tantrums can help cope with the situation easier.
• Why keeping your calm is essential for your kiddo during a tantrum.
• Advice for a teacher on how to handle tantrums in the classroom.
• How I handled tantrums in the classroom in my past years of teaching.
• Great quote from Dr. Becky Kennedy, author of Good Inside, Don't necessarily parent to be fair, parent the needs of your child.
• Techniques to calm down during a tantrum.
• The Starfish breathing to help stay calm during a tantrum or after.
• Why I don’t like the saying “Use your words”.

Resources:

Make sure you are on my email list so that you can sign up for my first-ever Live workshop on tantrums, the information comes out this week! 

Check out Episode 7 with how to use the starfish method with my good friend Harmony Slater. 

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

Today we reframe what it means when a child resorts to hitting. When you have a child who hits, parents can carry a great deal of shame around this, impacting how you respond to the behavior. Learn how to remove self-judgment and address the behavior from a neutral place.

What I cover on how to get kids to stop hitting:

• Understand what your child is trying to communicate when they hit
• Why they hit
• How to address the behavior without overreacting
• How to come up with a plan to identify your child's specific needs and how you can help them through this phase
• Children are developing and learning. Hitting is a common behavior that many parents struggle with. Tune in to find out simple shifts you can make to help you work through this challenging moment.

Resources: 

I hope you found this episode helpful, for more parenting tips check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options

 https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

In this solo episode I’m talking all about self regulation and how to help kids self regulate. Self regulation is all about how to get your child to calm down when they aren’t calm. Essentially, how can we help our kids gain the ability to understand that a. They’re going to be ok, b. The outcome will likely be the same, and c. They are safe. I have six tips for self-regulation that I share with the parents I work with one-on-one and I’m sharing them with you in this episode! 

1. Co-Regulation: The idea we are working on regulating ourselves while our child is working on regulating himself/herself. When your child starts to exhibit a negative behavior, you might become uncomfortable or triggered by their actions. Co-regulation happens when we remain calm, when we recognize our own triggers, and we keep our boundaries. 
2. Boundaries: Boundaries are a structure that is predictable and consistent. Children are looking for things that are predictable in nature to keep themselves regulated. Boundaries help teach our children how to self-regulate while experiencing dysregulation. 
3. Validation: Validation is when we can understand why our child feels a certain way, not giving them a pass for that emotion or behavior. There is so much power in practicing validation in the long-term. 
4. Breathwork: Breathwork is a great way to practice self-regulation in times where your child is completely regulated. Then they can utilize this tool when they are feeling dysregulated. Blowing out candle breathwork, fire hose breathing, and other things that help the nervous system calm down are great ways to help with self-regulation. 
5. Sensory Toys: There are so many different sensory toys that can help kids while they are regulated and dysregulated. It’s a calming mechanism that can help people of all ages. Having sensory toys available such as fidget spinners or expanding tubes available at all times is a great go-to as children continue to learn more about how to self-regulate. 
6. Work on Regulation while They’re Regulated: Working on self-regulation during a tantrum won’t work 9 out of 10 times. Co-regulation is the best way to help work on self-regulation at the moment. 

What can you do in the moment when a tantrum is happening? 

1. Boundary-Empathy Sandwich - state your boundary, note your empathy (it’s hard to not get the thing you want), restate your boundary.
2. Remind yourself “I am safe and so are they.” - Many of us learned that showing sadness or other “negative” emotions as a child was met with reactions like “stop crying” or “don’t be upset.” This likely caused us to feel unsafe. Now, as parents, when our children have similar emotions, we have a strong response and want to remedy it as quickly as possible. This mantra will help you to steady yourself and stay calm. 
3. Take a break if you really have to - Give yourself a no-demands day to reset as you fatigue. This looks like loosening boundaries, not engaging in high-stress times, and relaxing. 
4. Say less - Don’t over explain your boundary and feel confident in your boundary. 
5. If they become physical, keep them and others safe - Stand up in a neutral position with your hands at your sides. Sometimes you need to pick them up and move them to another location to keep them safe. Other times you need to hold onto them. Remind them they are safe and physically calm their body. Tell them they are not allowed to hit you. 

Resources: 

Free Emotional Regulation Webinar: https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/p/free-download-emotional-regulation-for-parents

If you would like to do my 2 month 1:1 coaching with me to get a custom road map on how best to tune into your child’s needs, book a free call to see if we are a good fit:  https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/theparentingreframe_store/page/51536

Be sure to sign up for my Substack newsletter for longer and more specialized parenting content: https://albiona.substack.com/ 

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

Follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe 

This was such a great conversation with Nicole about enneagrams and how they affect parenting. Nicole is a Leadership Coach, Enneagram Expert, and Team Dynamics Consultant. She has so much knowledge and insight on the different types of enneagrams and how they affect your personal life, business, and relationships. If you are newer to enneagrams, she does a beautiful job explaining what they are and how to navigate life and parenting best while using them. 

What We Cover on Enneagrams & Parenting

• What exactly is an enneagram.
• Can your enneagram number change over time.
• How health and stress can give you a different number.
• We go over my enneagram results and how accurate they are.
• How parenting can affect your enneagram number.
• The tool that Nicole uses to help with challenging moments with her kiddos.
• How PARR was a tool that helped me with challenging moments.
• How long do you need to use the enneagram tool to get the best results.
• Nicole discusses if we should use the  enneagram on children.
• How enneagram comes into play with partners in parenting.
• Why having two different enneagram types as parents is a good thing.
• Why letting your children make mistakes is so important.

Find out more about Nicole: 

Free Guide:

Unlock Your Leadership Superpowers

https://myleadershipsuperpowers.com/

Enneagram Typing Sessions:

https://nicolemcdonoughcoaching.com/enneagramtyping

Website:

https://nicolemcdonoughcoaching.com/

IG:

https://www.instagram.com/nicoledianemcdonough/

FB:

https://www.facebook.com/nicole.mcdonough.925/

Resources: 

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

In this episode, I have a conversation with Robin Hilmantel, the senior director of editorial strategy at BabyCenter, focused on the gaps in postpartum care, the child care crisis, and how mothers are still carrying the load of parenting. BabyCenter is a website and app focused on providing answers and creating community around pregnancy, baby concerns, and childhood needs. They conduct research within their millions of members to be your partner in parenting well beyond the baby years. As a mother of three, she has insight into how moms face unique challenges each day.

What we go over with Robin: 

• The ways mothers usually feel the shift from pregnancy being all about supporting mom to all about baby after birth.
• How many moms feel unprepared to bring a baby home and care for themselves in the weeks following giving birth.
• The disparities in maternal care for different demographics and the variety of ways health care providers pass along mothers who voice their concerns to other providers.
• The difference in anxiety levels mothers experience depending on their maternity or parental leave from their jobs.
• How the United States differs from other countries in terms of maternity leave and parental leave.
• What to look and ask for when it comes to employment and maternity leave and how to advocate for yourself and your rights.
• Where moms can find connection with other moms for support and resources.
• Ways the child care crisis is affecting moms as they carry the burden of finding care for their children.
• The “Childcare Cliff” and how it has affected child care centers when funding is removed.
• Ways you can advocate for the change you want to see in regards to affordable child care and other systemic issues.
• New and changing social trends with pregnancy and motherhood.

You can download the BabyCenter App from the App Store on both iOS and Google or visit the BabyCenter website at https://www.babycenter.com 

Resources: 

Postpartum Support Survey: https://www.babycenter.com/presscenter/babycenter-emily-oster-postpartum-support-survey-press-release_41001496

Chamber of Mothers - https://www.chamberofmothers.com/

Check out the Team Supercrew book set: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BZZ1938R/

For more insight into parenting in today’s world, be sure to subscribe to my Substack: https://www.albiona.substack.com

And be sure to follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe and Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe for more parenting tips and advice.

Happy 2025! The past year has been really transformative for me personally and professionally and I’m excited for what this new year might bring. I want to thank all of you who take the time to listen to my podcast, read my Substack, or even watch a video clip on TikTok. It’s really affirming to know I’m reaching all of you in some way. 

A few updates for 2025 that I’m excited to share with you:

• New model for one-on-one coaching: I’m moving to a 12-week model, where you get 12 weekly calls with me. You’ll have me create scripts and plans to use in your home and answer questions as they arise. Only 1 spot is available for January!
• Group coaching is returning in February! This more affordable option offers the added benefit of gaining support from others in your situation.
• I’m launching a membership! I’ve been working on a membership and I want to make it as interactive as possible. It will be a hybrid of courses and live video calls. Stay tuned for more information! 

The Three Pillars to Connected Parenting

When we adopt a martyr parent mindframe, it doesn’t benefit your children in the way you think it does.

We pride ourselves on being really busy, but when we burn out, what happens to your family? 

A Process to Help Interparent Yourself

• Parenting is a process full of wisdom and transformation that we can apply to moments in our adult lives like loss and growth. 
• Using PARR to help us understand what our triggers are and cause us to have big reactions towards our kids. 
• There’s always something we can change instead of resigning to being too tired or too busy while having a reactionary response. 
• The five pillars of parenting yourself: master pausing, practice stillness, honoring simplicity, honoring change, trusting your intuition.

Create an Environment Conducive to Connection

• Showing our kids we are the ones in control of our lives and priorities. 
• There are moments when we can create meaningful connections with our kids but we need to be present and intentional about it. 
• It’s healthy for kids to spend time alone, and being mindful of the time we spend with them makes it more impactful. 

Honoring Your Ability to Process Complex Emotions

• It’s likely many of us learned to suppress or bypass complex emotions due to our upbringing. 
• Our discomfort when our own kids are having a complex emotion is something very foreign to us so we need to learn how to sit with it instead of trying to change or cover it up. 
• In moments of dysregulation you can say “I am safe and so are they.” 

Resources: 

Sign up for a FREE 20 minute discovery call to see if 1:1 coaching is right for you: https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/p/free-discovery-call-ck6qf

The Three Pillars to Connected Parenting article: https://albiona.substack.com/p/the-3-pillars-to-connected-parenting?r=dan8y

The Busyness Trap article: https://albiona.substack.com/p/spotting-the-busyness-trap

Self Regulation Workshop Free Download: https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/p/free-download-emotional-regulation-for-parents

PARR Workshop Free Download: https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/p/free-parr-workshop-download

Be sure to sign up for my Substack newsletter for longer and more specialized parenting content: https://albiona.substack.com/ 

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

Follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe 

I’m back with another solo episode and I’m giving you a recap of what I discussed in my latest workshop, Parenting on the Same Page. Many people struggle with conflict between their partners inside their homes on a day-to-day basis regarding parenting decisions. While they love and respect each other at the core, the heightened moments of emotion and stress can cause friction between two parents. I’m going to share with you the three tools you can implement today to help get back to parenting as a team.

All Feelings are Welcome. All Behaviors are Not

• What is the emotion or feeling your child is experiencing? 
• What is the behavior you don’t want to see? What is the behavior you do want to see?
• As you are calm and steady as the parent, you set clear boundaries for behavioral expectations.
• You need a game plan to address these situations and avoid reacting in an escalated way toward your child and each other. 
• How can you validate the feeling your child is experiencing while still holding your boundary? 
• How can you lean on each other in these stressful moments to help each other out?
• When you parent consistently on the same team, you will see a reduction of your child’s challenging behaviors.

Be Reflective of the Language You Use with Each Other

• Connect, don’t correct.
• Connective language is focused on yourself, your emotions, and your feelings, and finding a way to connect on a similar level with your partner.
• Have these discussions in moments of calm so you can both approach the conversation from a regulated place.

A Dysregulated Adult Cannot Help a Dysregulated Child

• If your immediate reaction is to become dysregulated when your child behaves a certain way, it will not help the situation. 
• You need to work through what the triggers are that cause you to feel dysregulated in stressful moments. 
• Using breathing and physical redirection can help you to calm down and pause. 
• Use PARR to become a more responsive parent.

Resources: 

- I have three one-on-one coaching spots left for 2024! If you sign up for coaching with me, I’m offering a free, 60 minute bonus session called “Optimizing Your Schedule” that helps you create a schedule that works for you and find your balance.

- Dr. Aliza Pressman, The 5 Principles of Parenting: https://draliza.com/ 

- Free Self Regulation Workshop download: https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/p/free-download-emotional-regulation-for-parents

Sign up for a FREE 20 minute discovery call: https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/p/free-discovery-call-ck6qf

Be sure to sign up for my Substack newsletter for longer and more specialized parenting content: https://albiona.substack.com/ 

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

Follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe 

On this week’s episode, I am talking to Dr. Cindy Hovington, founder of The Curious Neuron and the Reflective Parenting podcast. Dr. Hovington is a mom of three and has a doctorate in neuroscience. Her goal is to break down science-backed research on child development and parenting and turn it into applicable advice for parents. She is very passionate about parental well-being as she knows we have to take care of ourselves in order to be able to take care of our children. We discuss tantrums, setting boundaries, and strategies to keep yourself calm while meeting your child’s needs. This is the episode for you if you experience these challenges and want to understand more about the science of parenting.

Here’s what we talk about with Dr. Hovington: 

• How The Reflective Parenting Club was created to help parents find best practices while effectively managing emotions and stress.
• Acknowledging when we as parents are not sitting in the most calm emotional space and being able to pause and communicate these feelings to others.
• Parenting and changing behaviors takes time and does not change overnight.
• Using boundaries and discipline as a way to teach our kids what to do or not to do in order to set them up for success.
• Creating awareness around your own physical state can help calm stressful situations.
• How emotional states and stress can affect the overall state of your home and the way your child reacts in certain situations.
• Resetting challenging moments throughout your day to create moments of joy.
• Sharing your emotions with your kids can help create connection and evolve trust.

Resources: 

The Curious Neuron website: https://curiousneuron.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/curious_neuron

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/curiousneuron

The Reflective Parent Club: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Reflective Parenting Podcast: https://curiousneuron.com/podcasts/

For more insight into parenting in today’s world, be sure to subscribe to my Substack: https://www.albiona.substack.com

And be sure to follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe and Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe for more parenting tips and advice.

In today's episode, I am sitting down with Harmony Slater.  Harmony Slater, NBC-HWC, brings over 20 years of experience in the areas of wellness, nutrition, personal development, yoga, breathwork, mindfulness and meditation, as well as marketing and business management. Founder of two yoga schools and a thriving online coaching practice, she helps women identify their unconscious blocks and hidden emotional obstacles to release chronic pain and fatigue. As a breathwork expert, she integrates powerful breathing and meditation techniques with self-reflection to facilitate a complete mind-body integration.

She holds degrees in Philosophy and Religious Studies from the University of Calgary, is Coaching Circle Mentor with the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, and a Certified Ashtanga Yoga teacher from the Ashtanga Yoga Research Institute in Mysore, India. 

She’s a reformed perfectionist, recovering from anorexia and bulimia nervosa, which plagued her from an early age. Stepping into her own personal power after a mid-life divorce, while raising her son as a single parent, are among some of the experiences that fuelled her passion to live an extraordinary life and to help clients and students build their confidence to do the same.

Harmony regularly leads group coaching programs focused on breath work and meditation practices. She draws from her own life and health transformations to support her clients and train students in a deeply relatable way. Today we talk about why parents and kids need to incorporate breathwork into their day. 

What we cover on tools to help parents and kids manage stress :

• The science behind breathwork
• How parents can use it as a tool to combat overwhelm and exhaustion
• How to lean into it, so you're not overwhelmed
• Simple breathwork practices that are easy to commit to
• A beautiful and straightforward breathwork practice to teach kids
• Harmony teaches several workshops, masterminds, and works one on one with clients looking to find a better way of getting through their day.

Learn more about Harmony: 

Website: https://harmonyslater.com/

Finding Harmony Podcast: https://harmonyslater.com/finding-harmony-podcast

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/harmonyslaterofficial/

Happy 2024! This is the first episode of the new year and I’m so excited to be back with you. In this episode, I am talking all about raising strong willed kids. I feel so passionately about this topic that I am doing a group coaching program starting this month all about how to raise strong willed kids more effectively. The reality of the situation is conventional parenting advice just isn’t that effective when it comes to parenting a strong willed kid. Parents of strong willed kids seek out advice or methods to make their lives better and more manageable. However, the results of trying these conventional tactics leave them feeling defeated or scrambling for other ideas of what to do next. Here are just some of the topics related to raising strong willed kids that you won’t want to miss:

Giving Choices

• There’s nothing wrong with giving choices but the advice is over-given to the point where it isn’t useful anymore. 
• Too many choices is the opposite of what a strong willed child wants. 
• Strong willed kids want to feel like they’re the ones in charge. 
• When there are too many options, they begin to feel scared, out of control, and everything feels overwhelming. 
• Who is the safe person? Where is the boundary? 
• They are looking for stability and for someone else to be in power with them. 
• Strong willed kids value power over approval. 

Setting Boundaries

• With strong willed kids, boundaries have to be clear with clear actions or consequences when the boundary is broken. 
• We cannot rely on a lot of language or explanations because strong willed kids are smart. Explanations won’t change the outcome or the behavior. 
• You must hold the boundary for an extended period of time. On average, we give up trying after three attempts at a new method without a “positive” result.
• We associate dysregulation with something not working in our parenting and change our method or use fear-based tactics. 

Staying Calm

• A dysregulated child will not calm down with a dysregulated adult. The biggest thing you can do is stay calm when your child is struggling or having a big outburst. 
• A calm parent will help a child calm down ten times faster than a dysregulated parent.
• When the parent is dysregulated, the strong willed child’s negative emotions are either rewarded or completely shut down and do not learn how to process hard emotions. 
• We want to help our kids be able to sit with their emotions. 

Here are the details on January Group Coaching: 

• Group coaching is limited to a small group of only 10 people to help build connection and lean on one another. The goal is to grow a community where you feel supported and connected to other parents going through the same things as you. 
• I’ll give you real tools to implement in your home. It’s a hands-on approach to help you learn new methods for parenting your strong willed child.  
• There will be four sessions that meet once a week for one month. 

Resources: 

Sign up for the January Group Coaching waitlist: https://stan.store/theparentingreframe

Sign up for a FREE 20 minute discovery call: https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/p/free-discovery-call-ck6qf

If you would like to do my 2 month 1:1 coaching with me to get a custom road map on how best to tune into your child’s needs, book a free call to see if we are a good fit. https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/theparentingreframe_store/page/51536

Be sure to sign up for my Substack newsletter for longer and more specialized parenting content: https://albiona.substack.com/ 

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

Follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe 

The minute we become parents we feel like we have to have all the answers. Not only do we have to have all the answers, but we also need to right! In this episode I reframe what it means to "be right" and what would happen if we considered approaching parenting dilemmas with from a different perspective. We explore why this one simple minset shift has drastically changed the way I parent and live. 

What we unpack in this episode:

• Learn to listen and tune in to each unique situation
• Connect with your kids and others by gaining presence
• Reconsider how you approach parenting dilemmas
• Learn to pause and consider before responding

Parenting is hard. Let's reframe this process together. 

Resources: 

I hope you found this episode helpful, for more parenting tips check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

In today’s episode I get to talk to my dear friend Lauryn Laszczak, someone I consider a soul sister and an incredible woman that has taught me so much. Lauryn (Laz-check) is a Female Founder and Somatic Business Coach for Women. It is her passion to help conscious leaders redefine what “success” looks and feels like by living a slow and intentional life. She's spent the past 14 years building businesses and guiding women into a deeper exploration of themselves and the impact they’re capable of having through their business and slow living. Lauryn lives a slow, intentional, and meaningful life in Metro Detroit, Michigan with her high school sweetheart turned husband, three children and one angel son.

Trigger Warning: This episode discusses infant loss and grief as Lauryn describes her journey through losing her son and learning to heal. 

Here’s what we talk about with Lauryn: 

• The duality of loving your children on Earth while allowing the space and grace to honor and grieve a child that has been lost. 
• How grief and joy can coexist in the same place at the same time and how the losses form who we are as individuals.
• Feelings of shame and guilt many women feel throughout their lives and the ways you can learn to move past those feelings.
• Giving yourself permission to be still and slow down to cultivate intentionality in your life.
• How small mindset shifts and moments of consistent changes can help us to find more love, fun, and freedom in our lives.
• Being still and slowing down can look different for everyone and might include movement, using your voice, or being in certain spaces to enter a place of calm.
• How slow living forces us to protect our energy and allows our children to match the state we are in.
• Modeling and communicating boundaries and needs to your children reinforces caring for yourself as well as teaching them important life lessons.

Resources:

You can find Lauryn on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iam_lauryn

And at her website: www.laurynlaszczak.com

For more insight into parenting in today’s world, be sure to subscribe to my Substack: https://www.albiona.substack.com

And be sure to follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe and Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe for more parenting tips and advice.

This was such a special episode for me to interview Joe Newman, author of Raising Lions. Joe tells us his story of growing up with ADHD and how he came to write his book. We discuss the importance of understanding connection and power. Joe discusses why boundaries are so important and how our past childhood experiences affect how we parent. We go over so much more in this jam-packed episode. This is not one you want to miss. I know there is so much you will take away from this episode.  

What we go over with Joe Newman on Raising Lions:

• Joe’s story about how he wrote his book Raising Lions and the work he does.
• Why it is so important to understand connection and power with your child.
• Why eggshell parenting isn’t helping with behavior - when the parent backs away from challenges and does anything not to have a tantrum.
• The reason why strong-willed children need stronger boundaries.
• Why you need to take parts of old school and new school parenting to actually make it work.
• How giving too many choices is not helpful.
• Why doing less is more helpful.
• How Joe reframed timeouts to breaks.
• Breaks - what they really are and how and when to use them.
• Why no doesn’t mean no when you don’t set boundaries.
• How to get kids to take breaks when they aren’t listening.
• It takes time to undo children’s behaviors. It can sometimes take multiple experiences.
• It’s always us, as parents, it’s so critical to understand the dynamic of how you are dealing with your child.
• We are still at the beginning of understanding children. This requires stepping out of old paradigms and looking for what works for you and your child.
• Ask yourself, is what you are currently doing working? And if not, what can you do to shift the lens on what you are doing?
• Why ADHD children usually have sleep struggles.
• Kids need different things, some need approval, and others need power.
• Your child is not always seeking attention from you.
• Look at your behavior and past experiences as a parent. This affects your child.
• Children don’t learn cognitively first. They learn from experiences.

Learn more about Joe Newman - Raising Lions https://www.raisinglions.com/

Youtube Channel - https://www.youtube.com/@raising_lions

Bio - Joe Newman likes kids with attitude because he was one. In 1970 he was diagnosed with ADHD & medicated.  His book, Raising Lions, is the culmination of a 30-year journey working with the most difficult kids and a desire to bring a new, more effective perspective to our educational institutions and families.  He teaches parents and teachers simple, practical methods to understand and motivate all our children.  In 2018 UCSB conducted a year-long study on how his method improved student behavior, motivation, and engagement in Pre-K through 6th-grade classrooms.  He’s been a guest on Radio Andy (Andy Cohen), goop podcast, The Tools with Barry Michels, and many other podcasts.  He’s spoken to audiences across the U.S., in Canada, Europe, Hong Kong, Bahrain, and Saudi Arabia. In 2020, Raising Lions reached number one in its category on Amazon. 

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

In this solo episode, I want to talk to everyone about the ideas of stress and feeling like there’s never enough time. Part of what prompted this topic is the US Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek Murthy, just issued an advisory on parents’ mental health and well-being, citing that many parents feel overwhelmed to the point of not being able to function throughout the day. While parenting can be stressful, there are things we can do to reduce those feelings and get back to feeling more balanced. I want to walk through my five self parenting tenets to get back to your emotional well being and find your inner peace whether you’re a parent who feels overwhelmed or you’re someone who feels like the day gets away from you and you could use some extra time.

Mastering the Pause

• Where are the moments of reactivity in your life?
• The more you pause, the less reactive you become and you can reflect on your fears surrounding your child’s behaviors.
• When you slow down, your child will also be able to slow down. 
• Overreacting in a moment usually escalates the situation rather than calming it down or stopping it.
• Pausing helps you stay calm and steady in a stressful moment. 

Practicing Stillness 

• Stillness does not mean sitting in meditation for a long time.
• It could be one minute of deep breathing, taking a few minutes to write in a journal, or taking a walk outside.
• When we practice stillness we are releasing our emotions and thoughts and giving it a space to go. 

Honoring Simplicity

• Try reframing your perspective to include gratitude when you feel stressed or overwhelmed. 
• Parenting is full of transient phases - what moment of joy are you missing out on by sitting in stress.
• How can you shift your schedule or routines to honor your needs rather than add to the irritation?

Embrace Change 

• Think about where you can embrace change to help take the pressure off of yourself. 
• There can be a lot of fear around change, but working through that fear can have wonderful outcomes. 

Trusting Your Intuition 

• The moment you’re in will get better. 
• Everything will always work out the way it’s supposed to work out.
• Release the feelings of doubt and trust what your intuition is saying.

Resources: 

FREE Workshop - Parenting YOURSELF: A personal process to Inner Peace

Wednesday, September 25, 2024 at 12pm EST

https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/p/free-workshop-parenting-yourself

Surgeon General’s Advisory on Parental Stress: https://www.hhs.gov/about/news/2024/08/28/us-surgeon-general-issues-advisory-mental-health-well-being-parents.html

Sign up for a FREE 20 minute discovery call: https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/p/free-discovery-call-ck6qf

Be sure to sign up for my Substack newsletter for longer and more specialized parenting content: https://albiona.substack.com/ 

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

Follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe 

When I coach parents, they often describe how and why they give their children choices. This idea is well-intended, and I know parents are trying to achieve positive results. There are some things parents need to be aware of when it comes to giving their kids choices. In this episode, I cover the three things every parent needs to know before they start offering choice after choice in hopes that it will tame their strong-willed, independent child. 

What we go over on giving kids choices and how it can backfire:

• When you offer a choice matters
• Why are you offering a choice
• Offering choices constantly will backfire
• How are you presenting the choice

Resources: 

I hope you found this episode helpful, for more parenting tips check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

What we talk about with Andra: 

• The connection between allergies of all kinds and eczema.
• How gut flora can trigger eczema in individuals. 
• Changing nutrition options for more digestible and seasonal foods.
• Methods of treating the skin in a holistic way to provide relief.
• Identifying what triggers eczema flare ups within your environment and how to make changes.
• Practicing moderation to keep eczema flare ups to a minimum.
• Things to avoid and stop using in your home to help prevent eczema flare ups.
• Inflammatory responses to foods and drinks.
• Advice about parenting picky eaters when it comes to nutritious foods.

You can find Andra on her website https://eczemakids.com/

You can also check out her podcast, Eczema Kids: https://eczemakids.com/podcast

Sign up for my Emotion Regulation Workshop here: https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/p/emotion-regulation-essentials

Check out the Team Supercrew book set: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BZZ1938R/

For more insight into parenting in today’s world, be sure to subscribe to my Substack: https://www.albiona.substack.com

And be sure to follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe and Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe for more parenting tips and advice.

We are talking on this mini-episode about how to respond to rude behavior from your children. This is a very popular subject, and I got a lot of questions and comments on this one. We will go into more detail on how to respond when your child is talking back rudely and why this can be so triggering to parents. We will also discuss how you should handle this differently with a child who is strong-willed and children who are seeking approval. 

What we go over on how to respond to rude behaviour:

• How rude talk is very triggering as a parent.
• If you don’t have a process to stay calm as a parent, this can lead to energy matching from your child.
• Why my method PARR is such an important practice to help stay calm in these situations. See below for the free training.
• Using PARR does not mean not holding boundaries; it is there to help you respond with a more positive response.
• Your kids are not in trouble for the way they feel. Having feelings doesn’t yield punishments. But there are consequences for their actions.
• We want to have consequences for our children, not punishments that feel punitive in nature.
• Dr. Becky says when you say your child is not respecting me, what you are really saying is my child doesn’t fear me.
• Using fear will work in the short term but has consequences in the long term.
• How using fear affects the child who is seeking approval.
• If you have a strong-willed child, fear-based methods will not work.
• Why over-explaining to your children does not help.
• 9 out of 10 times, when a parent says they didn’t get an explanation, you really needed to be seen and not ashamed.
• Make sure to sign up for my  webinar on how to help with your strong willed child, link below.

Resources:

You can grab the free recording here and learn what PARR is, how it can be implemented in your home, and what tools you need to transform from yelling, overwhelmed, and exhausted to responsive, connected and joyful.

My webinar on How to respond to strong willed kids will be on June 29th, at 5 pm EST/ 2 pm PST. Make sure you are signed up for my newsletter for all the information and here is the link to sign up for it. https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/p/live-webinar-raising-a-strongwilled-child.  

I reference Dr. Becky’s quote in this podcast, make sure to check out her Website, IG page and book for more helpful information on parenting. https://www.goodinside.com/

If you would like to do my 8-week 1:1 coaching with me to get a custom road map on how best to tune into your child’s needs, book a free call to see if we are a good fit. https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/theparentingreframe_store/page/51536

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

We are talking with Megan Accardo, a good friend, great business coach, and wonderful mom. She tells us all about her journey from infertility to adoption, to finally being a mom to baby Kylee. So many women are going through similar situations and Megan wants to help them know that they are not alone. She goes into her IVF journey, loss, and the decision on how she finally becomes a mom. I am so excited for you to hear this episode, Megan has some wonderful advice on how she navigated her long journey to becoming a mother. 

Megan’s Journey with IVF and adoption:

• Megan talks about her 9-year journey with IVF and infertility. 
• She talks about her health journey along the way.
• How it was harder not knowing why she couldn’t get pregnant. 
• The practice she did to handle not being able to carry a child. 
• How it came down to 2 choices for motherhood.
• Her journey with the adoption process and the stresses of getting there.
• The stress of the 10-day grace period for final adoption. 
• The exciting homecoming of baby Kylee
• Do you have a baby shower when you adopt, and other questions?
• How important it is to have a community. 
• The transition of going back to work with a baby. 
• Megan gives some advice to anyone who is going through the same things. 
• How can you let go of how it was supposed to be.

Learn more about Megan:

Power Your Purpose Podcast: https://www.meganaccardo.com/poweryourpurpose

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/meganaccardo

Website: https://www.meganaccardo.com/

Pod Party: https://coaching.meganaccardo.com/pod-party

Resources:

Friday March 3rd at 1 pm EST is my first live workshop - The Taming Tantrums Workshop. It will be 90 mins where you get answers to your tantrum questions and learn how to get through this incredibly challenging phase of parenting. If you can’t make it live, don’t worry…you will have access to the full recording afterward! Plus time for Q&As, Copy of Tacking Tantrums and Challenging Behaviours E-Book along with 2 bonuses. You don’t want to miss it! 

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options

 https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

In this episode, we are discussing picky eaters and tips to help with my friend and colleague Amy Hengstebeck, Director of Occupational Therapy at the Kaufman Children’s Center. She has expertise in feeding therapy, so I thought she would be the perfect person to bring on the show to talk about why our kids are picky eaters. She has some great tips to understand why and ways to help get them to try and eat new foods. 

Tips to help picky eaters:

• Why kids around 18 months - 2 years usually become picky.
• When picky eating becomes more of a problem.
• Sensory can be a big part of picky eating: different textures of foods, choking issues from certain foods, etc.
• How parents' reactions can help kids be picky.
• Why letting your baby be messy while eating is helpful.
• Some tips on spoon feeding to make it easier.
• When to start feeding meats and the foods you eat.
• Why do kids like crunchy carb food so much?
• How bringing some fun and silliness in helping kids understand different food is helpful.
• Ways to help bring new foods to your kiddos with play, little changes at a time.
• Tips on introducing new foods to a picky eater.
• Kids like predictability, so that can be harder with fruits and vegetables.
• When should the sippy cups go away, and tips on how to do it?

Resources:

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

Welcome to the parenting reframe podcast. I'm your host, Albiona Rakipi. I have been lucky enough to work with children and families for over 20 years. My bachelor's degree is in early childhood education and my master's is in speech and language pathology. I currently work as a pediatric speech and language pathologist.

And prior to that, I was an early childhood teacher for over 12 years and I loved every single minute of it. I'm also a parent to two wonderful humans. Parenting grants me the opportunity to make mistakes, learn, laugh, and sometimes cry. But I gained unlimited insights from my personal and individual growth. I need my kids just as much as they've needed me. Despite bearing the title of "Mom," they've helped me evolve in more ways than I could imagine.

On this podcast, we'll explore solutions to some of the biggest parenting challenges. ie, tantrums, potty training, challenging behaviors, neurodivergent learners, teenagers, bedtime, homework, expectations, et cetera. We'll chat with experts, parents, and even kids about what it means to parent and to be parented.

My hope is to create a safe space where parents can feel seen, heard, and supported through this wild journey that is parenting. There is so much information at our fingertips. How do we quiet the noise, dig deep and find the answers within to reclaim joy, peace and balance in our homes, at least most of the time? My only ask is that you stay open and curious. Welcome aboard, and let's reframe together.

We are talking about balancing being a mom and an entrepreneur in this episode with my friend Emily, another Detroit mom. This was such an exciting episode to hear Emily’s journey of the early start of social media management and where she ended up. We go over the positive and negative of social media,and safety for your children. We go over how Emily balances her life and work with baby #4 on the way, all while writing a fiction book. This is a great conversation to hear a success story from a mother doing it all, we need more of this to keep inspiring other moms to go after what they love to do. 

What we go over on:

• Emily’s exciting journey to where she is now.
• The high expectations we put on ourselves as mothers.
• What balance really looks like as a mother. 
• We discuss the book ‘On Our Best Behaviour’ by Elise Loehnen - she goes over how are value is rooted in our productivity.
• How to handle the writing without letting your head get in the way.
• Just keep doing what you are passionate about and you will get better as you go.
• You have to have a lot of courage and heart, there will always be critics but you just show up and keep doing what you are doing. 
• The only way to get better is to get comfortable with being green at one point and know that you will get better. 
• We need more mothers doing what they love with work and having a family to pave th way for other mothers to do the same. 
• The good of one is the good of the whole, every mother has their own personal story and there is room for everyone. Women need to get out of the competition and envious mindset of each other.
• Emily talks about the positives and negatives of Social media, especially after being a part of the original team with Social media management and ads. 
• We go over about sharing your children on social media. 
• Finding your balance on what works for you when using social media and which platform works best for you and your niche. 
• How having one main hub for your content is important. 
• Elizabeth Gilbert book ‘Big Magic’ - she believes that ideas are a living breathing thing.
• How mothers are the unsung heroes with the work they do every day.
• Emily’s journey of writing her fiction book. 

More about Emily Kay 

Emily Kay is a creative consultant who specializes in digital marketing and content creation for brands, and is also a professional writer who is currently working on her debut novel. 

She currently lives in metro Detroit with her husband and their three children, with their 4th and final baby due in October. 

LINKS:

Website: http://isntthatcharming.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/isntthatcharming/

Resources:

Here is the link to find out more about the book we discuss by Elise Loehnen https://www.eliseloehnen.com/onourbestbehavior

Here is the link to find out more about what we discussed on Elizabeth Gilbert’s book, Big Magic. https://www.elizabethgilbert.com/

If you would like to do my 8-week 1:1 coaching with me to get a custom road map on how best to tune into your child’s needs, book a free call to see if we are a good fit. https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/theparentingreframe_store/page/51536

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

We are talking to my dear friend, Amanda Prater. Amanda is a board-certified behavior analyst and has worked with several families on potty training. So many parents ask me questions about potty training, and I knew Amanda was the right one to talk to. 

What we go over on potty training: 

• Where do you begin?
• How do you know if your child is ready?
• How can we set ourselves up to be successful?
• What myths can we dispel?
• How can we show ourselves grace?

Resources: 

I hope you found this episode helpful, for more parenting tips check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options

 https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

If you have been wondering the best way to get your child to sleep in their own bed, this episode is for you. It is so important for the entire family to get the right amount of sleep and if co-sleeping isn’t cutting it for your family anymore, I am going over some helpful ways to get your child in their own bed in their room! 

What I cover on how to get your child to sleep in their own bed: 

• Adjusting expectations when starting this process (it can take longer depending on how long your child has been sleeping with you)
• Using smart goals for success
• Why a reward for the child works in this process
• Reasons why sleep is so important for your child (and you)
• The importance of choosing the right incentive
• The power of positive talk to your child and being excited with them
• Some super helpful tips on bedtime routines to help them go to bed easier
• End result: New lease on life for the family when you all get good sleep, everyone is less reactive & overwhelmed. The benefits are endless for the parents and the child.

Resources: 

I hope you found this episode helpful, for more parenting tips check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

In this episode, I had the pleasure to chat with Faten Saad, a social worker, mom of three, and my personal friend. Faten is the founder of Authentically at Peace, a social media platform, where she is dedicated to helping women through mental health issues and parenting struggles. She shares her insights about reframing parenting, how multigenerational trauma can affect the way we parent, and how she uses Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to help her clients and all moms reconsider the way they parent today.  

What we go over with Faten: 

• The overwhelm of parenting and how it’s attributed to nervous system dysregulation.
• How trauma presents in a parent’s journey and how to reframe those thoughts. 
• Reflecting on the way we were parented and how generational trauma can be passed down and affect the way we parent today. 
• Creating awareness around intergenerational trauma and realizing smaller events may have caused trauma. 
• Having compassion for yourself when you’re reparenting yourself.
• Taking feelings of blame and shame and looking at them from a place of curiosity rather than judgment in order to feel validation for your emotions.  
• Grounding yourself as a parent when your child’s behaviors or emotions make you uncomfortable and allowing them the space and support to work through those feelings.
• Labeling children’s attributes limits the ways we can parent them “terrible twos” 
• What setting boundaries look like for different types of parents and finding a middle ground.
• Common cognitive behavioral therapy tools parents can use in their everyday lives.

Faten’s resources: 

• Dr. Gabor Matte - https://drgabormate.com/
• Dr. Nicole LePera - https://www.instagram.com/the.holistic.psychologist/?hl=en
• Dr. Shefali - The Conscious Parent - https://www.drshefali.com/the-conscious-parent/
• Patrick Teahan Therapy - https://www.instagram.com/patrickteahantherapy/?hl=en

You can find Faten on TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@authenticallyatpeace

and on Instagram -  https://www.instagram.com/authentically_atpeace/ 

She provides resources to positively impact moms through their parenting journey.

For more information about reframing parenting, check out my free PARR Webinar https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/p/free-parr-workshop-download

And be sure to follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe and Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe for more parenting tips and advice.

We are talking about how to respond to whining in this episode. Some of my most popular posts were on whining, so I wanted to dig deeper into dealing with it. It can be extremely triggering for parents, so we will go over ways to pause, acknowledge, respond, and reflect on how we respond to whining. I will give you some helpful exercises to help with the whining. I will also do a 60-minute workshop at the end of the month that you won’t want to miss, where we will go a little deeper!

We discuss how to deal with whining:

• How whining is so triggering, myself included!
• How whining is two-fold, we get triggered but still have to deal with the behavior. 
• Why we need to pay attention to our own triggers and how we respond. 
• How to move from reactive to responsible parenting.
• You are not separate from your child; it’s always an interaction resulting in some type of behavior. 
• We don’t want to place blame, just the recognition that we all play a part. How understanding this will help your family grow for the better. 
• How to use PARR (Pause, Acknowledge, Respond, Reflect) to help with whining. 
• Name your behavior when your child starts to whine. 
• Why not giving a consistent response isn’t helping.
• Why having a tool is essential to help you pause in stressful moments. 
• How I thought of whining kids before I had children; spoiled, bratty, or entitled.
• Once I realized my trigger, how I was able to change how I responded to whining. 
• You will make mistakes when dealing with triggers; just reset and try again.
• Whining is a secondary behavior to something else. 
• How to do a parenting audit.
  • When does the whining happen: time of day, near nap time, are they hungry, etc.?
  • Is it in response to something?
  • Find out the context of what is causing the whining.
• I will have a 60-minute workshop on whining at the end of March. Make sure you are on my email list so you will be the first to know when registration opens. 
• 3 different activities to help practice to help deal with whining when it’s not happening. 

Books referenced in the episode:

• Raising Lions - Joe Newman - https://www.raisinglions.com/
• Good Inside - Dr. Becky - https://www.goodinside.com/book/

Resources:

Make sure to sign up for my newsletter so you will be the first to be able to register for my 60-minute Whining Workshop at the end of March!

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

This was such a great conversation with my friend Elizabeth. We go over so many important topics: being a mom and an entrepreneur, dealing with the loss of parents and how it changes you, the importance of having a tribe in your life to help support you, societal norms that need to change, putting yourself first is not selfish but needed and so much more. Elizabeth goes over so many ways of thinking that have been normal for so long that need to change to help moms (and dads) live happier and healthier lives. 

What we cover on mompreneur, grief, community, and redefining mom life:

• We go over Elizabeth’s incredible journey and her multiple businesses.
• Stepping away from a 9-5 job and promotion to pursue her dreams with her business.
• How she dealt with the loss of both of her parents.
• Dealing with the grieving process.
• How she started Detriot Mom and the importance of community.
• Why finding your tribe is so important.
• Entrepreneurial life can be lonely, and ways to support yourself.
• Why done is better than perfect.
• Reasons why we need to have boundaries and stop people pleasing.
• Why Elizabeth has a coach and how it is essential to her success.
• Why focusing on yourself first is NOT selfish.
• Reframing “life balance” and how it is not always an even balance.
• Why independent play is essential for your children and you.
• Giving the right tools to your children that you didn’t get.
• Why changing societal norms is needed.
• Why expressing your needs is so important.

Learn more about Elizabeth:

Detroit Mom: https://detroitmom.com/

Lansing Mom: https://lansing.momcollective.com/

Retreat to Reclaim: https://pepper-hen-n7dc.squarespace.com/

Personal Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iamelizabethlewis/

Detroit Mom Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/detroitmoms/

Lansing Mom Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/retreattoreclaim/

Retreat to Reclaim Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/retreattoreclaim/

Resources: 

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

This is a mini-episode. We are going over tips to help alleviate the stress that comes during the back to school season. We know this can be a stressful time for our kids, which in turns makes it stressful for the parents. Our kids feel our emotions, so if we are stressed, they are feeling this. Practical tips on how to handle this will be shared. We also discuss getting back to a school schedule after the summer and how to handle being overwhelmed, knowing when to say no and why it’s important to break some of the rules during this time. I’m wishing everyone a great school year and if you need some extra help, you can book a call with me.

Back-school-tips to help parents and kids

#1 Tip: Take some time to check in with yourself and acknowledge your stress during this chaotic time of year. Your kids sense and feel your emotions. 

• When you have the kid that doesn’t like school, you tend to be more reactive. Instead learn ways to listen to your kids using empathy.
• Try to think of times when you have to do things you really don’t want to do so you can understand how your child is feeling.
• Give yourself a few moments a day to really see what’s coming up for you and how you are feeling.
• Use storytelling to help. Let your kids know how it felt when you went through it as a kid or how you feel when you’re starting something new. It’s a great way to connect.
• Talk to your kids about how they feel in general about going back to school.

#2 Tip:  Get back on your sleep schedule

• If you can, start 10 days before the first day of school and start shifting their bed time back in small increments so it’s not detected by your kiddos.
• If you weren’t able to do the shift, adjust your mindset to know that the first week back is going to be a little rough.
• Be prepared for big emotions until they adjust to their new sleep schedule. Use PARR, Pause, Acknowledge, Respond, Reflect to help with this.

# 3 Tip: Letting Go when you are feeling overwhelmed

• Going back to school can be a stressful time for both parents and children. Dealing with all the emails and meet the teachers, and buying all the supplies can be so overwhelming.
• I wrote an article for Detroit that goes over how to let go when life gets overwhelming, linked below. Here are some tips from it.
  • Really get clear on your priorities.
  • Do a rear view mirror test, Author Light Watkins has a test where you envision yourself 10 years from now and ask yourself what do you really want to remember about right now in this day.
  • This helps to really ask what do I need, which most mothers don’t sit with or ask themselves. It is so important for mothers to do this.
• Give yourself permission to break the rules when routines change, it’s hard for everyone.
• Don’t make it the week to set rules about screentime, it’s ok to break some rules for this week.
• Plan check-ins with yourself on how things are going. Go over what worked and what didn’t, what is really important.
• Take the time to see what is really a priority in your week, and say no when things don’t work with your schedule.
• When you do this and become really intentional about your time, you will really show up for what you commit to.
• I hope everyone adjusts quickly to going back to school and also has a great school year!

Resources:

If you would like to do my 8-week 1:1 coaching with me to get a custom road map on how best to tune into your child’s needs, book a free call to see if we are a good fit. https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/theparentingreframe_store/page/51536

My article referenced in the podcast. https://www.hourdetroit.com/fitness-wellness/learn-to-let-go-when-life-is-overwhelming/

Here is the link to Light Watkins site to check out his challenge that I talked about. https://www.lightwatkins.com/

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

In the latest episode, we are are going over parenting tools to be a better parent. I’m talking to reactive parents who are looking for a better way to navigate their day. My 4-step process PARR (pause, acknowledge, respond, reflect) is what I taught myself and ultimately other parents to move from reactive to responsive. I share personal examples and use this minisode to highlight the important aspects to PARR.

What I cover on the parenting tools to be a better parent

- The importance of recognizing why you’re reactive
- Identifying your triggers will help you to stay calm
- The first step of PARR, pausing, will look different depending on the phase of parenting you’re in
- How to decide the best way to pause
- Pausing and then acknowledging your state will shift the way you respond
- Reflecting is critical and you want to do it when you’ve had time away from the event
- PARR is effective with all communication partners not just your kids
- It can help you to become a better listener and more thoughtful in the way you show up not just for your kids but others

Link’s mentioned in the show:
You can book a free call here to learn more about coaching and how PARR can help you
The Free PARR download
Other Parenting Resources
Subscribe to my Substack Newsletter

In this mini-episode, we are discussing two different sides of tantrums or behavior our kiddos have with school vs. home. I have received both sides of this question where the kiddo does great at home but not and school and vice versa. In this episode, I am guiding you like I would if we were doing 1:1 coaching to help you ask the right questions to see why this behavior is happening and how to help you navigate how to help with these.

We discuss why my child’s different behaviors are happening, home vs. school:

• Guides to help with the different behaviors between home and school
• Every child is different, so this is just a guide.
• We go over children that don’t have tantrums at home but do at school.
• Question to ask, what is your child’s school learning environment and teaching style? What challenges are there for your child, and are they being challenged enough?
• Get the data on how they act at school; name it. And then see when it’s happening. This will require sitting with their teacher to better understand where it’s coming from.
• Find out if your kiddo is having issues sharing closer to lunchtime or when they are more tired at the end of the day.
• Consider adjusting bedtimes, adding more to their lunches, or maybe a snack is needed.
• Get a plan in place to see about changing this behavior before labeling them bad.
• Remember that kiddos are very accommodated at home; they don’t deal with wait times like at school.
• I remind parents that the issues children are dealing with are challenging for them to communicate with us.
• We must help our children build resilience, help them tolerate frustration, and develop problem-solving skills.
• Question to ask, especially for parents of neurodivergent children, are they in a place where they will thrive, or are they just trying to survive?
• Make sure to dig deeper into why the behavior is happening before putting all the blame on the school.
• Remember that school, in general, is designed for kids to conform.
• Why kids are acting up at home and not at school.
• Kids see other kids conforming, which can be overwhelming for your kiddos to follow, so when they get home to their safe place, they feel safe to express what they need and let their guard down. This results in tantrums and bad behaviors.
• It might be a good idea to see if there is a different class to help where it’s more your child’s speed.
• It’s a compliment to you as a parent when your child has tantrums or expresses hard emotions. It indicates they feel comfortable at home to do this.
• When a child acts up at home and not at school, it’s usually because they know the structure there. They can’t get away with it.
• Think about your boundaries in your home. Are you setting them and holding them, or are you repeating yourself repeatedly?
• Is there an agreement on parenting styles with your partner? If not, your child can be lost on what to do.
• Kids need a predictable outcome from both parents, even if they don’t like it.
• How are you connecting with your child throughout the day? Are you on your phone or computer when answering them? Are you asking them questions, being curious, and paying your full attention to them?
• Make sure you are validating their feelings about the boundaries you are setting for them.
• Look at the structure and routine of your home structure. If you have hectic mornings daily, this is setting your day up that way. Too much scheduled, too much snacking before bedtime, need to adjust bedtimes. Look at all these routines to see what you can help adjust to make it easier.
• Every family’s situation is so different. You should not be overwhelmed every day. If you are, reach out for help; 1:1 coaching, check with your doctor, mom groups, or carve out time for yourself.

Resources:

I have 2 -  1: 1 coaching spots opening up at the end of April. You can book a free 15 min call to see if this would be a good fit for you and your family.https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/theparentingreframe_store/page/51536 

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information.  https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

We are talking about tips for parents of strong-willed kids in this mini-episode. Some kids want approval, while others want power. As a parent, it can be very challenging to know how to help your child navigate their big feelings. Having strong boundaries for your strong-willed child is vital in helping them, even though this may be challenging for you as the parent. We will go over some ways to help. 

What we go over on tips for parents of strong-willed kids:

• Strong-willed kids don’t value approval; they value power. This really stood out to me from my talks with Joe Newman.
• A strong-willed child may be having significant behaviors, tantrums, and meltdowns. This means they need even stronger boundaries.
• When you have a first child who seeks approval and then a second child who wants power, you have to approach each child differently, which can be challenging.
• Most parenting models are based on the child who seeks approval, not power.
• When your child is acting up, they are asking you to help them anchor and calm down.
• Don’t talk in the moment. Set the boundary, show empathy, and then let them regulate their emotions.
• The longer you wait to set boundaries for strong-willed children, the harder it will be.
• Teach self-regulation practices when a child is calm.
• Joe Newman teaches breaks, where you let your child take a break for a minute so they can calm down. This helps teach them how to regulate their emotions.
• Coaching can be so helpful in navigating strong-willed children to get all the pieces of the puzzle to help your child and you out.

Resources:

Check out Episode 29 to hear the whole conversation with Joe Newman. This is not an episode to miss if you have a strong-willed kiddo! https://theparentingreframe.com/podcast-episodes/episode-29-raising-lions-with-joe-newman/

If you would like to do my 8-week 1:1 coaching with me to get a custom road map on how best to tune into your child’s needs, book a free call to see if we are a good fit. https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/theparentingreframe_store/page/51536

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

In this episode, we discuss anxiety in kids and parents with Kate Cornish, a clinically trained therapist and parent coach. Kate has a lot of expertise to lend to this conversation, as she works with parents of anxious, neurodiverse, sensitive, and misunderstood children. She’s also the parent of a neurodiverse child.

Anxiety can be incredibly hard to navigate. We want our kids to have the tools to work through challenging moments, but we also want to validate each experience. Kate weighs in and explains how parents need their own support system and framework so they can be the anchor for their child.

What we cover on ways to parent an anxious child:

• At what point is anxiety considered a disorder, where specialized support is needed?
• How can parents help their child work through anxious thoughts.
• How can parents reflect and examine their own anxiety and how it impacts their children.
• Why parents need their own framework and support to navigate anxious thoughts.
• Tips and tricks to help the whole family work through anxiety rather than being consumed by it.

Learn more about Kate:

Her mission is to help parents overcome their stress, frustration, and overwhelm, and instead become the calm, connected, confident parent they hoped to be. 

For more information, or to find out about working with Kate, you can visit her website at www.katecornish.com or find her on Instagram @mskatecornish. 

Resources: 

I hope you found this episode helpful, for more parenting tips check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options

 https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

Staying calm as a parent isn’t always easy, I go over 3 of the reasons I see the most with this. It’s so important to discover triggers and blocks that you have to help reframe how to stay calm during stressful situations as a parent. We will go over this and so much more! 

What we cover on why it’s hard to stay calm as a parent:

• Why understanding your parenting triggers is so important in helping to stay calm.
• What my trigger was when my children were young and how I reframed it.
• How using my PARR method helps with dealing with your parenting trigger.
• Question yourself about how you stay calm when triggered; this will help how you address the behavior
• Work on identifying your parenting block, the things you tell yourself about how to be a good parent.
• Having a demanding job does not mean you are doing a bad job as a parent.
• Get clear on what you and your family really need.
• Why I do what I do as a parenting coach.
• There have been two very different parent camps, very judgemental and list to follow or the free-spirited, with no structure.
• Why you shouldn’t be ashamed that your child is lying.
• Why being able to get a handle on your ability to stay calm helps you to be a better parent.
• You can only work on how you respond to what you can’t control.

Resources: 

Here is the link to join The Parenting Reset, which will start in January.

https://theparentingreframe.com/the-parenting-program/

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options

 https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

In this episode, I sat down to chat with Kelsey Murphy, a dear friend of mine. She is a business coach who helps people start their own coaching/consulting businesses. She teaches coaches how to discover their passions and positively impact people’s lives. When I first considered coaching parents, I reached out to Kelsey Murphy for more insight because I loved her energy. She has so many great tips and information about how to get started on your own business ventures as a mom.

What we talk about with Kelsey: 

• Balancing motherhood with your personal and/or career interests.
• Reflecting on your own expectations and comparing them to what you want and need in your present season of life. 
• How to get over the hurdle of deciding how to start a business while managing the mental load of motherhood.
• Shifting your mindset from “I can’t” to “I can.”
• Holding boundaries and being intentional about your time. 
• Leaning into the excitement you feel for certain ideas and building it into your long-term future and values. 
• Managing feelings of mom guilt in the midst of working towards your own goals and fostering excitement for things you want to do.
• Reframing our ideas of what motherhood looks like for ourselves in the present moment as compared to how we were parented. 

Where to find Kelsey: 

Her website: www.Kelseymurphy.com

Or on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kelseymurphy/

Resources mentioned in this episode:

To Be Magnetic by Lacy Phillips - https://tobemagnetic.com/

For more parenting advice, check out my website www.theparentingreframe.com

And be sure to follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe

and Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe for more parenting tips and advice.

The most common parenting pain points are burnout and exhaustion. This is due to overthinking, resulting in indecisiveness (analysis paralysis) which then leads to being completely overwhelmed. Once we feel this way, we’re more likely to overreact or underreact. In this 6-week Program, we will tackle these issues and pull back the lens to see why this is happening. 

What We’ll Cover on addressing common parenting points:

• Why overthinking is one of the most common pain points and what it leads to.
• Are you counting to 3, but don’t know what to do when you get there?
• The importance of knowing how to respond to daily challenges.
• What is your response pattern? Do you overreact or underreact?
• Understanding your parenting story and how it can shift the way you parent.

What you’ll gain from my 6-week Empowered Parenting Program:

• How to understand what your parenting triggers are
• Stop overthinking
• Change the story you tell yourself about parenting
• Tools to help you navigate your daily challenges so you aren’t overacting
• Practical strategies that you can implement in your home immediately with big results
• Themes for each week: sleep, bedtime routines, morning routines, gaining cooperation, learning how to stop negotiating, sibling battles

You can join the waitlist for this 6-week program here! I hope to see you there!

https://theparentingreframe.com/the-parenting-program/

Resources: 

Join the waitlist for this 6-week program that was discussed in this episode. https://theparentingreframe.com/the-parenting-program/

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options 

https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

We are talking on this episode about how to help regulate your child’s emotions. This is not a skill children are born with it develops. We will go over some tips and tools on how to help your child navigate their emotions, and we also go over some ways to help you the parent stay calm. Please excuse my dog, every time I do an episode about tantrums, he has one too! 

What we go over on how to regulate your child’s emotions:

• What is self-regulation for a child?
• What are signs that a child has good or bad self-regulations skills.
• The core of why most children are having tantrums and issues is that they are needing to gain the ability to regulate their emotions.
• Joe Newman talks about how when a child has too much power, they don’t know what to do with it. They are really reaching their hand out to their parent when they have too much power and asking who is going to meet my hand, by enforcing a firm boundary and staying consistent. Check out Episode 29 for more about this. 
• Why children need strong boundaries. 
• How the different ways parents grew up affect parenting styles. 
• How suppressed emotions affect your parenting. 
• How being inconsistent with your child confuses your child.
• Why explaining during a tantrum is not helpful. 
• Make sure to validate and show empathy when your child is having big emotions. 
• If you are feeling anxious when you know a tantrum is coming, your child will feel this as well. This is when you have to stay calm and anchored. 
• What to do when your child is hitting you. 
• Know that the tantrums will get bigger when you start to let them regulate and be prepared to be calm to help them through it. 
• It is ok to walk away during a tantrum, as long as it’s not a punishment. 
• Why using my method PARR is so important to help stay calm when handling tantrums and hard emotions. PARR is Pause, Acknowledge, Respond, Reflect
• Really pinpoint what is coming up for you so you can navigate stressful situations more effectively. 
• It does get easier when your child learns to self-regulate, I promise you. 
• You have to let your child do the hard part, let them go through the emotions. 
• I am opening up more spots for my 8-week 1:1 coaching so make sure to book your free call, link in the resources below. 

Resources:

I reference Episode 29 - Raising Lion with Joe Newman, make sure to check out this episode for tips on how to set boundaries for your strong-willed child. https://theparentingreframe.com/podcast-episodes/episode-29-raising-lions-with-joe-newman/

If you would like to do my 8-week 1:1 coaching with me to get a custom road map on how best to tune into your child’s needs, book a free call to see if we are a good fit. https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/theparentingreframe_store/page/51536

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

In this episode I have a conversation with my friend, Dr. Rebekah Diamond. She is a pediatrician and the author of two books: Eat, Sleep, Tantrum, Repeat and Parent Like a Pediatrician. Dr. Diamond bridges the worlds of being a pediatrician with being a parent. She adds a lot of great parental insight into many aspects of parenting from the rigid research to the wild west of the internet.  

Here’s what we talk about with Dr. Diamond: 

• Why the toddler phase is so challenging for so many parents on a daily basis in relation to the advice being given.
• Parenting advice can be helpful but you can take the pieces that feel good for your own parenting and leave the rest. 
• Parental efficacy, or parental confidence, will directly translate to positive parenting for your child. 
• Different parenting styles and how parents can create their own parenting philosophy to tune into what you and your child need.
• The reasons why toddlers have tantrums and how to navigate these emotional episodes using different strategies.
• Setting realistic and developmentally appropriate boundaries and consequences for toddlers. 
• Balancing rewards and external motivators to help toddlers learn about life skills.
• The importance of a consistent bedtime routine with toddlers and how to implement it in your home.
• Viewing parenting issues from the stance from whether or not there is an actual problem and determining if you need to take action.
• Why separation anxiety is developmentally normal in kids and how parents can work through their emotions related to it. 

Resources:

You can find Dr. Diamond on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentlikeapediatrician/?hl=en

Parent Like a Pediatrician: https://www.amazon.com/Parent-Like-Pediatrician-Facts-None/dp/0806541636

Eat, Sleep, Tantrum, Repeat: https://www.amazon.com/Parent-Like-Pediatrician-Facts-None/dp/0806541636

Dr. Shefali podcast episode: https://theparentingreframe.com/podcast-episodes/episode-54-conscious-parenting-with-dr-shefali/

For more insight into parenting in today’s world, be sure to subscribe to my Substack: https://www.albiona.substack.com

And be sure to follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe and Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe for more parenting tips and advice.

In this solo episode, I’m talking about the three things that are an absolute must to know about emotion regulation. It can be challenging to parent a child who has big emotional reactions when things don’t go their way and I know the frustration that can build over time. I really want to talk about this topic to help parents who are experiencing this challenge within their parenting journeys and provide some insight into how you can make things easier for yourself. Here are the three parts of emotional regulation everyone needs to know and understand:  

1. What does your regulation look like? 

• Emotional dysregulation is really simple - it’s when your child can’t tolerate the emotional response that occurs. 
• There’s nothing wrong with your child when they have a big emotional reaction to something. 
• Your ability to regulate your own emotions as a parent while your child is dysregulated is incredibly important for managing the situation. 
• Using PARR when your child starts to have an emotional reaction so that you can stay grounded and calm and co-regulate your own emotions

2. Self regulation is a skill kids need to learn.

• Self regulation is a skill and something that needs to be taught. It’s not something kids inherently have within them. 
• It’s not realistic or fair to expect kids to be happy all the time.
• We often place our value as a parent on how happy our kids are but this can be a harmful cycle for both you and your kids.
• Giving your children the tools they need to self regulate is important, especially the older they get. 

3. You need a plan. 

• Dealing with strong willed children can feel unpredictable and like nothing works to change the situation or make it better. 
• Every time a child has a big reaction, we might change the way we handle the situation (yelling, being silent, escalating the situation, etc.).
• Kids seek out predictability to help them feel more comfortable and in control in these situations. 
• When you have a plan, you usually won’t overreact when there is a tantrum or big emotion happening. 
• Setting a boundary and restating the boundary can help reinforce your choices and allows your child to see consistency. 

Emotion Regulation Group Coaching

• I’m offering a group coaching program in mid-April all about emotional regulation. 
• This five-week program includes weekly meetings where I coach about different topics. The final week is a Q+A session to answer all of your questions about emotion regulation. 
• You get real-time access to me via Voxer during the five weeks to ask questions and seek advice.  
• The group is limited to 10 people to ensure I can have a great connection with each person in the group. 

Resources: 

Sign up for the Emotion Regulation Group Coaching waitlist: https://stan.store/theparentingreframe

Sign up for a FREE 20 minute discovery call: https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/p/free-discovery-call-ck6qf

Be sure to sign up for my Substack newsletter for longer and more specialized parenting content: https://albiona.substack.com/ 

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

Follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe 

In this episode we will go over some common parenting questions that came up in my last group coaching session. We had some amazing moms and we got to unpack a lot and get questions answered. There are so many benefits of working in a group, hearing other moms ask the questions you have, being able to feel supported, and seen. 

What I cover on common parenting questions:

• The idea of energy matching and how to handle the different ways that kiddos match your energy
• How we can present ourselves in the best way to yield the best outcome to help our child and learn from it
• How energy matching happens at all ages, what is it here to teach me, what am I bringing to the table as a parent
• How to use the PARR method to help with energy matching
• PARR: Pause, Acknowledge, Recognize, Reflect
• My story of how I used PARR to be a less reactive mom to my teenage son
• A mother’s story about her 5 year old son lying about taking a toy
• How to handle the situation when a child lies
• What should be the consequences when children lie
• What to do if lying is a continued behavior

Resources: 

I hope you found this episode helpful, for more parenting tips check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

In this episode, I had the chance to talk with the two authors of the Team Supercrew books, Julie Anne and Darren Penn. The Team Supercrew books provide a great roadmap for explaining emotions to kids that is age-appropriate and highly engaging. Team Supercrew was created when Julie Anne and Darren’s son was experiencing big emotions around age five. They sought out resources to help him grasp onto the concepts of emotional regulation. Eventually, they used their son’s love of reading and exploring to create the world of Team Supercrew and combined it with larger concepts to help kids understand the ways their emotions work. 

What we talk about with Julie Anne and Darren: 

• The method of writing used to create a story specifically for children to help them best understand different scenarios and emotions they will encounter.  
• How the illustrations on the page help a child pick up on subtle changes in character emotions and reactions throughout the story.
• How they came up with the first four book topics to help kids with the most prevalent challenges they face today. 
• Providing validation for a kid's emotions by naming the feeling and creating awareness about what causes these thoughts.
• Using the characters to show how the powers we all have within us can help us feel a sense of control in an uncontrollable world. 

Be on the lookout for Team Supercrew books 5-8 coming soon! 

You can learn more about Team Supercrew and buy their books on their website: https://www.teamsupercrew.com/

For more insight into parenting in today’s world, be sure to subscribe to my Substack: https://www.albiona.substack.com

And be sure to follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe and Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe for more parenting tips and advice.

This is a mini-episode where we talk all about helping our kids feel comfortable with making mistakes. Many of us have kids that are absolutely terrified of making even small mistakes in all kinds of situations. Tasks without a clear outcome, the possibility of there being a wrong answer, or simply being incorrect might lead your child to feel terribly, lash out, or become combative. When we take a wider look, we need to examine how we as parents feel about making mistakes. In this short episode, I go over the three pillars of how fear of making mistakes is created in kids and ways to help them get over these fears. 

The 3 Pillars for Combatting The Fear of Making Mistakes: 

1. How do you as an adult feel when you make a mistake? 

• Kids sense and feel more than they see and hear. 
• Think of the way your energy changes when you hear you’ve done something incorrectly. 
• Kids pick up on this and are tuned into your energy - tone of voice changes, lack of excitement, etc. This is especially true when they are a deeply feeling or highly empathetic child.
• Talk through it out loud with your child to see the positive end to the mistake and walk them through the process of how you’re feeling in the moment and how to feel better. 
• Don’t be afraid to admit you don’t have all the answers in the moment! 

2. How much space do you leave for your kids to make a mistake? 

• This is really important for kids who don’t like making mistakes and have an adverse reaction to it. 
• We as parents try to save our kids from making mistakes because we don’t like to see our kids struggling. 
• When you see the struggle happening, let it happen even though it’s hard. 
• Your kids need the experience of making mistakes. By doing this, they will be able to feel what it’s like to make the mistake, learn how to work through it, and ultimately learn that it’s okay to make mistakes. 
• Consider this: where is the perception of being right all the time getting in the way? Do you feel your child always has to be correct at school, a sport, etc.?

3. You want to be cognizant of how you treat other people when they make mistakes. 

• The way you behave in public situations like at a store or restaurant when someone makes a mistake is incredibly important. Your kids are perceiving the way you react to people making mistakes. 
• Many times it happens the most between couples with everyday tasks. Sighing, rolling your eyes, and how we communicate between each other when mistakes happen can signal to your child how they might be treated when they make a mistake. 
• You are their safety net and where they learn morals and values. Even in the safest environment, what does it look like when mistakes happen and how does the reaction come out? 
• It’s in the subtle ways we react that kids notice the most. 

It won’t happen overnight, but with small changes over time to the way you perceive and make mistakes as the parent, you will see sustainable and lasting change with your kids in the way they view mistakes as well.

Resources: 

If you would like to do my 8-week 1:1 coaching with me to get a custom road map on how best to tune into your child’s needs, book a free call to see if we are a good fit. https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/theparentingreframe_store/page/51536

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

Follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe 

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

This is a special episode for me. I am doing a parent coaching session with one of my first clients. I have had a lot of requests about what the inside of a coaching session looks like, so this is an excellent way to let you all see how I work with my clients. We will review the challenges of getting a 3-year-old to sleep through the night and alone. We will also discuss how to handle an older sibling having issues with attention when they feel the younger sibling is receiving more attention. 

 

What we go over in the live Parent Coaching Session:

• Sleeping challenges with a 3-year-old 
• Do what is best for your family, co-sleeping or in their room.
• Tip from Joe Newman, Raising Lions, how to handle “One more book.”
• Dr. Becky from Good Inside says when kids struggle to sleep independently, it’s another part of separation anxiety.
• Use of timers and limitations of what they are asking before bed.
• Use baby steps when trying to get your child to go to bed by themself.
• An unpopular opinion - for some kiddos, tv before bed is helpful. 
• Tips on setting the mood for bedtime.
• How having a game plan is essential for success. 
• Why taking away nap time might help. 
• Look at how baths affect your kiddo; sometimes, they are more stimulating than relaxing.
• How power struggles before bed can give kids more energy.
• How to handle an older sibling struggling with the attention the younger sibling is getting. 
• Ways to make special connections with your kiddo needing more attention.

Resources:

Joe Newman - Raising Lions https://www.raisinglions.com/

Dr. Becky - https://www.goodinside.com/

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

In this episode we discuss her book, On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and The Price Women Pay to Be Good. It was a dream come true for me to interview New York Times Bestselling Author Elise Loehnen. In this episode we discuss her book, On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and The Price Women Pay to Be Good. Elise discusses how her childhood, interactions in her professional and personal life as an adult, and working with her therapist inspired the idea for this book. We take a look at the ways women police themselves and others in order to be perceived as good and nice rather than mad, mean, or angry. This insightful and thought-provoking episode will leave you asking questions about the way you interact with the world around you. You won’t want to miss this one! 

What we talk about with Elise Loehnen on On Our Best Behavior:

• The reasons why women are coded for niceness and men are coded for power.
• How women use high achievement to try and attain a place of security.
• Patriarchy and how it shows up depending on gender in different ways.
• What are the codes of goodness? 
• Why the seven deadly sins cause women to conform to the societal requirement for niceness.
• How envy comes up in subtle ways when talking about other women and is the gateway to all of the other sins. 
• The ties between the different sins and how they can compound issues or feelings towards others. 
• Scarcity and the feelings of anxiety when others have or do what we want.
• Denying our wants and desires instead of owning them.
• What goodness looks like as a mom and how many moms get in their own way as a parent while trying to reach an unattainable goal.
• How we parent kids is affecting their ability to be creative, imaginative, manage being lonely or bored
• Why girls are more likely to mask and conform at young ages compared to boys of the same age.
• Raising daughters with the duality of good work ethic and being gentle and kind with yourself. 

Learn more about Elise Loehnen - https://www.eliseloehnen.com/

Get the book - On Our Best Behavior by Elise Loehnen

Follow Elise on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/eliseloehnen/

Subscribe to Elise’s newsletter, Pulling the Thread, on Substack - https://eliseloehnen.substack.com/

Pulling the Thread Podcast - https://chartable.com/podcasts/pulling-the-thread-with-elise-loehnen

About Elise: 

Elise Loehnen Fissmer is a writer and editor living in Los Angeles with her husband, Rob, and their sons, Max and Sam. She is the host of Pulling the Thread podcast, where she interviews cultural luminaries on the big questions of the day. She’s co-written 12 books, including five New York Times Best Sellers. Her first book under her own name, On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good, was also an instant New York Times bestseller. She’s held many other titles including the chief content officer of goop, editorial projects director of Condé Nast Travelereditor, and deputy editor of Lucky Magazine. These days, she spends her time writing, reading, consulting, doing board work, and fundraising for causes and politicians focused on environmental action, social justice, women and children’s health, and a more equitable world.

Resources:

I hope you found this episode insightful. For more conversations about motherhood and parenting, be sure to subscribe to my newsletter: https://albiona.substack.com/

Follow me on Instagram and TikTok: @theparentingreframe

If you would like to do my 8-week 1:1 coaching with me to get a custom road map on how best to tune into your child’s needs, book a free call to see if we are a good fit. https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/theparentingreframe_store/page/51536

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

In this episode, we discuss why we don’t want our children to be always happy. There will be hard times in our kiddos’ lives, and we need to sit with them, help them process their feelings, and learn the lessons it is teaching them. The hardest thing as a mom is to make everything better for our children, from toddlers to adults, no matter how old they are. In doing this, we are not allowing them to grow from the lessons. I am reframing ways how we can do this. It’s not easy. I personally know this, but our kids need to sit in the emotions and learn from the hard times instead of, as the parent, always trying to make it better. 

Reasons why you don’t want your children to always be happy:

• Ask yourself what’s wrong with not being happy all the time?
• We teach kids to avoid and run away from hard things. 
• Why it’s not helpful to not process the hard things
• The reasons why I want my kids to learn how to deal with the hard things. 
• Why we want our kids to look at hard situations and see what they can take from the problems to grow from it
• Ways that you can reframe how to talk about challenging situations with your kids, even when you are as upset as they are
• Help them learn the lesson they can take from the situation, and reframe it positively 
• When we just want to make our kids, we are creating a co-dependency. 
• What happens when they aren’t having a good time, they won’t want to tell you to make you feel bad.
• Why coming from a place of neutrality is vital for our kids and how it can help them work through the struggle.
• Why we can’t make bad feelings the bad guy.
• One of the hardest parts of being a parent is the restraint to let your kids go through hard times, but they need to sit with it and learn from it.
• Take the time to see how you handle hard emotions as an adult.

Resources:

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

Back by popular demand, Joe Newman is here for his third visit to The Parenting Reframe Podcast. Joe Newman was diagnosed with ADHD as a child and has made it his life’s mission to help parents figure out how to “raise lions,” kids who want to do it themselves. His book, Raising Lions, is one of my favorites and a resource I recommend constantly. In this episode, we discuss the biggest issues we are seeing while working with families today. This includes longer discussion about tantrums, and why we don’t completely agree on what to do when your child is having a tantrum. 

Here’s what we talk about with Joe: 

• Why play deprivation is a problem today and why kids need more time to play independently.
• Kids need to experience struggle in social situations to create change and learn how to better manage their experience on their own. 
• Providing all the answers for kids takes away an “I do it” moment and creates kids who identify as incapable and want things done for them. 
• The nature of attachment between parent and child changes over time and the parent has to allow it to happen in an open and supportive way. 
• How to reframe the negative perception of tantrums and child’s behavior.
• Why Joe and I disagree about whether or not to hold your child during a tantrum.
• Using a break as a self regulation tool to help kids get through a difficult moment and become more resilient. 
• Allowing kids to experience deprivation and challenges on their own without judgment creates more independent, resilient, and happy individuals. 
• Kids act as scientists to figure out their way around a situation so it’s incredibly important to hold your boundaries. 
• Practicing holding boundaries at home will make doing it in public easier and reduce your feelings of anxiety in the situation. 

Resources:

Joe Newman’s website to set up a consultation or discovery call: https://www.raisinglions.com/

Joe Newman on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/raisinglions/

Joe Newman on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@raisinglions1

Raising Lions by Joe Newman: https://www.amazon.com/Raising-Lions-Joe-Newman/dp/1453639683/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1686055923&sr=1-1

Raising Lions with Joe Newman podcast episode:  https://theparentingreframe.simplecast.com/episodes/raising-lions-with-joe-newman

A Raising Lions Q+A with Joe Newman podcast episode: https://theparentingreframe.simplecast.com/episodes/a-raising-lions-qa-with-joe-newman

For more insight into parenting in today’s world, be sure to subscribe to my Substack: https://www.albiona.substack.com

And be sure to follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe and Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe for more parenting tips and advice.

In this mini episode we are discussing two simple shifts that can help gain your kiddos cooperation. This episode is packed with examples of how to help you get off the Repeat and Warning train which eventually leads to yelling and feeling guilty. We go over the framework on how to help be consistent and get your kiddos to cooperate, toddlers to teenagers.  

We discuss how to get your children to cooperate :

• Why repeating ourselves is not helpful.
• How being triggered affects our frustration. 
• Understanding how you are responding to the situation is helpful in changing it. 
• Why you end up yelling to get your children to listen. 
• Why constantly repeating yourself leads to your kiddos realize you are not following through on what you are saying. 
• Pinpoint what it is that you keep repeating over and over, then come up with an action to assign with the direction you are giving. 
• The difference between time out and taking a break. 
• We go over an example of how to practice being consistent with your words. 
• A parent’s biggest superpower is staying calm. 
• Why validating their emotion is important, from toddlers to teenagers. 
• The problem with inconsistent responses. 
• Why it’s ok if your child is not happy all the time. 
• Reasons why having a coach is so helpful. 
• It can take a few times to help shift behaviors, being consistent is key.
• There is a different framework for helping each child, this goes all the way up to teenagers. 
• Why you have to have a game plan. 
• Boundaries are love! Get off the repeat and warning train!

Resources:

Make sure to sign up for the 45 min Stop the Whining, and start connecting Workshop on April 4th https://theparentingreframe.com/whining-workshop/

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

This episode was truly a pinch-me moment as I had the incredible opportunity to interview Dr. Shefali. Dr. Shefali is an international speaker, clinical psychologist, and author of seven books. She is the mind behind her two landmark books The Conscious Parent and The Awakened Family. She specializes in the integration of Western psychology and Eastern philosophy to give parents and families the best of both worlds. She is launching a brand new podcast called “Parenting & You with Dr. Shefali.” She coaches families live on each episode so what you are hearing is therapy in action. I learned so much during our conversation and I’m excited to share it with all of you.

Here’s what we talk about with Dr. Shefali: 

• The reasons behind choosing to talk with real parents in real time on her new podcast rather than speaking with experts.
• How to navigate the internal need to find all the “right answers” in parenting scenarios and shift to see how parents’ internal struggles are reflected onto their children.
• Tools for parents who struggle to regulate their own emotions in stressful parenting situations. 
• Recognizing what your personal triggers are in relation to your past experiences to create a more relaxed parenting experience. 
• Why some parenting advice or strategies might not immediately work for every child or family.
• Dr. Shefali’s perspective on how to respond and work with young children who have tantrums in the moment and how to stay regulated. 
• How to gain more cooperation from your children by building connections and partnerships with them.

Resources:

You can find Dr. Shefali on her Website - https://www.drshefali.com/

Parenting & You with Dr. Shefali Podcast: https://www.drshefali.com/podcast/

- Parenting Courses: 

Conscious Parenting 2.0 - https://courses.drshefali.com/thecp2method-full

Conscious Parenting Institute - https://institute.drshefali.com/

For more insight into parenting in today’s world, be sure to subscribe to my Substack: https://www.albiona.substack.com

And be sure to follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe and Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe for more parenting tips and advice.

I had the privilege of sitting down with the celebrated soccer coach, Demir Muftari. Demir has over 20 years of experience coaching soccer in various environments, spanning from youth soccer to semi-professional levels. He is a celebrated coach who is most respected for developing the players he works with to achieve the greatest level of success. He loves his job and helping players develop, overcome self-limiting beliefs, and learn how to thrive and trust themselves in high-pressure environments. He has helped place over 500 players in college soccer and has placed over 40 players in professional soccer. 

Demir was the Director of Coaching for the Vardar Soccer Club Developmental Academy since 2000. He led Vardar SC U18 to the US Development Academy national title in 2010 and was named US Soccer Developmental Academy Coach of the Year in 2009 and 2010. 

In addition to his youth coaching experience, Demir has coached at both the collegiate and semi-professional levels. Demir was the head coach of the Michigan bucks, currently the Flint City Bucks for six seasons, winning five national championships during that span. He was also named National Coach of 2014 and 2016 and finished runner-up in 2019.

Currently, Demir is the ECNL girls Director of coaching for the Liverpool Football Club International Acedamy 

What we cover on navigating sports and competition with our kids:

• Cultivating a competitive spirit in our kids, but healthily.
• Teaching the importance of the process and the journey
• What parents should consider when thinking about the best environment for their child to thrive
• Paying attention to what your kids are doing versus what they’re saying
• How lessons in sports can translate into our everyday lives
• And the most important question to ask your kids
•  

And on a side note, Demir is also my brother and one of my favorite people in this world. I lean on and turn to him often. We talk about my kids, Adrian and Hana, who play soccer at competitive levels. He has guided me through so many ups and downs on this journey, and I know you will find his words as helpful as I have. Without further ado, here is today’s conversation. 

Resources: 

I hope you found this episode helpful, for more parenting tips check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

This is a mini-episode where I went over questions from my audience to ask me anything about parenting. We go over how to handle breaks when your child wants to run away and how to help your 18-month-old understand the consequence even though they don’t understand language yet. We also go over how to handle sibling fighting and much more. This was a fun episode, and I will be doing more of these. If you have any questions, please reach out to me!  

What we go over on ask me anything about parenting:

How to help with your child when they run away when you try to do a “break,” per Joe Newman’s process in helping strong-willed kids to help correct or improve a behavior.  

A break is a way to help your child reset - it is not a punishment. This is to help teach self-regulation.  

How to stop the fighting between siblings.  

We go over my view on sibling battles and how it is very triggering to parents.  

How we have to teach siblings to disagree calmly and correctly.  

Why you don’t want to blame anyone and have questions to ask to help to understand why the fighting is happening.  

How to stop an inappropriate behavior immediately when they are not listening.  

Why whining is so triggering to parents, it can bring up thoughts of bad parenting.  

How to explain behaviors to my 18-month-old when they don’t have the language skills yet to understand it?  

Why explanations are not consequences  

How children learn through actions and experiences

We review an example of how to handle a tantrum without a lengthy explanation.  

Redirecting an 18-month-old is a helpful tool, and staying calm will help with these situations.  

How to get your child to stop headbanging or other behaviors when they are having a tantrum.

This is a normal behavior for children and does mean that something is always wrong.  

3 must-dos when they are in the middle of this behavior to help.  

Using PARR, Pause, Acknowledge, Respond, Reflect is essential in these situations to help your child regulate their emotions and yours.

My favorite Proteins for my smoothies: Be Well by Kelly & Garden of Life  

I was asked if I watch tv, and I love to watch tv! The Bear is my new favorite. Make sure to check it out.

My favorite Podcasts: Pulling the Thread, Raising Good Humans, Cathy Heller, We Can Do Hard Things  

Resources:  

We go over breaks from episode 29  with Joe Newman. Make sure to check it out if you haven’t. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/raising-lions-with-joe-newman/id1608790325?i=1000612430664

Podcasts that I reference:

Pulling the Thread https://www.eliseloehnen.com/episodes

Raising Good Humans https://draliza.com/

Cathy Heller https://www.cathyheller.com/blog/

We Can Do Hard Things https://wecandohardthingspodcast.com/

If you would like to do my 8-week 1:1 coaching with me to get a custom road map on how best to tune into your child’s needs, book a free call to see if we are a good fit. https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/theparentingreframe_store/page/51536

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

In this episode, we are talking with Stephanie Steinberg about her incredible career and being a new mom as an entrepreneur. We had a great conversation about juggling maternity leave while running two businesses. We discuss The Detroit Writing Room and how writers and creatives can find resources there. I loved learning about Stephanie’s journey and her approach to being a new mom. 

What we cover on entrepreneurship and motherhood:

• Juggling maternity leave as an entrepreneur.
• How to delegate while on maternity leave.
• How to navigate your work schedule with a newborn at home.
• The struggles with the formula shortage and not being able to feed your baby.
• We talk about how Stephanie created The Detroit Writing Room.
• The shift in The Detroit Writing Room due to Covid.
• What is next for Stephanie.
• What is Coaching Detroit Forward, and how it came about.

Learn more about Stephanie:

Stephanie Steinberg is the founder and CEO of The Detroit Writing Room, which offers professional writing coaches, workshops, book talks and more. She’s also the executive director of the nonprofit arm Coaching Detroit Forward, which organizes free writing and photography programs for Detroit high school students. Stephanie has been a journalist for over a decade and was previously the managing editor of SEEN Magazine. She also served as a features reporter at The Detroit News and a health and finance editor at U.S. News & World Report in Washington D.C. Stephanie is a University of Michigan alum, where she majored in Communication Studies and was the editor-in-chief of The Michigan Daily student newspaper. She is the editor of the book “In the Name of Editorial Freedom: 125 Years at the Michigan Daily” that was published by the University of Michigan Press in 2015. Throughout her career, she's contributed to various publications, including The New York Times, The Boston Globe, USA Today, CNN.com, The Huffington Post and others. 

Website:http://www.stephaniesteinberg.com/

Detroit Writing Room: https://www.detroitwritingroom.com/

Coaching Detroit Forward: https://www.coachingdetroitforward.org/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/steph_steinberg/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DetroitWritingRoom/

Resources:

I hope you found this episode helpful, for more parenting tips check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

In this episode, we are going to dive a little deeper into how to handle tantrums in public. I will give some different solutions and ways to approach this problem. This is a common issue that we all have. I go over how to take the time to see how we handle tantrums at home and ways to handle these situations in public. 

Tips for handling tantrums in public:

• The difference between tantrums in public vs tantrums at home. 
• Parents feel very exposed when tantrums happen in public, the reactions will change compared to at home. 
• Why your energy level is heightened in a public setting and how your child notices this.
• Why asking yourself how you handle tantrums at home will help when you are in public.  
• The difference between secondary re-enforcement vs. redirecting.
• The reasons why you want your kiddos to have tantrums at home; make sure you have empathy and are holding space for the tantrums. 
• There are certain times when it’s good to redirect your child’s behavior. 
• Tips on how to handle situations when you know that a tantrum will happen. 
• Frame the situation ahead of time with scripts to help avoid a tantrum, grab my freebie, How to Get your kids to listen, to help with this. 
• How to handle your kids from not hitting or throwing, why time outs aren’t my favorite for this. 
• Why talking during a tantrum does not help. 

Resources: 

Here is the link to join The Parenting Reset, which will start on January 13th, there are only two spots left.

https://theparentingreframe.com/the-parenting-program/

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

We are talking with Dr. Derek Daniels about stuttering in children. He focuses on public perceptions of stuttering and factors that influence the psychosocial experiences of individuals who stutter. We will review some excellent tips on how to help your child navigate this journey. 

What we go over about stuttering:

• How stuttering is misunderstood in our society with so much misinformation
• The definition of stuttering.
• There are some kids outgrow it, and some don’t.
• What is the best course if your child is stuttering?
• Why making space for the child to talk is so important.
• Don’t correct your child’s speech and let them enjoy talking.
• Watch how you are handling the stress and reactions in front of your child.
• Stuttering is not brain damage when we talk about neurological. Nothing is wrong. The brain is just more vulnerable.
• The aspects of stuttering that Dr. Daniels works on are stigma, acceptance, and advocacy.
• There are common microaggressions where people who stutter feel they need to defend themselves.
• Dr. Daniels tells his story of stuttering and what brought him to do his incredible work.
• Hiding and concealing were a big part of his life.
• The biggest takeaway from a child to an adult, it’s going to be ok.
• Just having conversations about stuttering is so essential to help break down the stigmas around stuttering.

Resources:

Learn more about Dr. Derek Daniels and resource for stuttering

Derek E. Daniels, Ph.D., CCC-SLP (he/him/his) dedaniels@wayne.edu

https://clasprofiles.wayne.edu/profile/dx5074

Associate Professor and Director of Graduate Studies (Graduate Officer)

Department of Communication Sciences and Disorders

Wayne State University

Vice President (V.P.) for Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion

Michigan Speech-Language-Hearing Association (MSHA)

Links of interest

American Speech-Language-Hearing Association-http://www.asha.org/

National Black Association for Speech-Language and Hearing (NBASLH)-http://www.nbaslh.org/

National Stuttering Association - http://www.westutter.org/

Camp Shout Out for Youth Who Stutter- http://www.campshoutout.org/

FRIENDS: The National Association for Young People Who Stutter-https://www.friendswhostutter.org/

MySpeech- https://myspeechapp.org/

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

I loved having this conversation with Alex, my nephew, on how to improve schools. Alex has a unique way of seeing things and wants to improve his school for the better. There are so many outstanding teachers out there. This conversation is not meant to discredit teachers. This is a different way to look at reframing things from the eyes of the student. 

What we go over on how to make school better:  

• Dirty water fountains, the school should have safer water for kids.
• Reframing how teachers ask if there are any questions
• Positive ways to encourage kids to ask questions
• Alex disagrees that recess should go away as a punishment. Kids need movement to get their energy out so they can focus in class
• Fun fact from Alex - the kids riding their bikes to school are more focused than those who don’t
• Teachers should be teaching about financial literacy
• Kindergarten was fun because the learned kids learned through doing and participating in activities
• Alex’s favorite subject is reading. We discuss ways to make reading fun and still educational
• Standardized testing is outrageous, in Alex’s words. Too much pressure on kids and not a great measure of what children actually know
• Ways to spend more time on socialization to help kids make new friends and learn how to be social

Resources: 

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

In this episode, I have the absolute pleasure of talking with Neha Ruch, the founder of Mother Untitled, the leading platform for ambitious women leaning into family life. A thought leader, writer and speaker on parenting, women, work and identity, Neha established Mother Untitled in 2017 after working for a decade in digital and brand strategy and earning an MBA from Stanford. Her new book, The Power Pause, examines how to take a career pause after having kids and is available now. We discuss how taking a pause in many stages of life has incredible benefits and the different ways it can look for moms.

Here’s what we talk about with Neha: 

• How the question of “What do you do?” has become intertwined in the fabric of who we are as individuals. 
• Ways to change the language surrounding each chapter of your life to a more expansive view.
• A career pause makes room to chart out other ways you want to grow personally.
• How “The Mommy Wars” started and the way the narrative has shifted and become more fluid over time. 
• The ways the COVID pandemic caused an examination of work and family balance.
• Tools to consider for a career pause when there are concerns about finances, work/life balance, and household contributions.
• Shifting the view of taking a step down from a career to gaining a collection of experiences.

Resources:

The Power Pause: How to Plan a Career Break After Kids--and Come Back Stronger Than Ever: https://www.amazon.com/Power-Pause-Career-Kids-Stronger/dp/0593716183

Overwhelmed by Brigid Schulte: https://www.brigidschulte.com/overwhelmed

Ellse Loehnen podcast episode: https://theparentingreframe.com/podcast-episodes/episode-40-on-our-best-behavior-with-elise-loehnen/

For more insight into parenting in today’s world, be sure to subscribe to my Substack: https://www.albiona.substack.com

And be sure to follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe and Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe for more parenting tips and advice.

This is the last episode of 2023 (can you even believe it?!) and I am so completely filled with gratitude for every single one of you who have grown my community this year. In this episode, I am talking all about coaching. I get a lot of questions in my social media DMs and my email inbox about what I offer as a coach and how the process works. I didn’t plan on becoming a parenting coach but once I started leaning into it and taking on one-to-one clients, my passion for coaching really expanded.

What one-on-one coaching looks like:

• Over a two-month period, you receive 5, one hour calls over Zoom.
• Calls are every other week so you have the opportunity to practice the tools we talk about. 
• You have full texting access to me in real time over the course of 2 months. I can walk you through scenarios that come up between calls in real time. 
• This process is very hands-on. I want you to be fully supported throughout our two months together. 
• This is a completely judgment-free zone. It’s a safe space; don’t hold back on your thoughts and feelings. 

Some of the things we cover in one-on-one coaching:

• Unpacking the root causes and looking at the strategies we will put in place. 
• How do we move from a reactive place to a responsive place? 
• How to meet our kids' needs while working on ourselves. 
• Things you don’t find in a parenting book like reparenting tools and mindfulness.
• Working on dismantling societal and cultural expectations to make the best choices for yourself and your family. 

Group coaching is returning in January! Here are some of the benefits of group coaching:

• More affordable pricing
• Meets once a week for a month - four sessions total.
• Themed sessions like gaining cooperation while simultaneously gaining connection.
• You’re surrounded by other parents who are in your shoes.
• Groups are capped at 10 people to create a small, well-connected group where I can offer the most support.

Coming up in 2024:

• Group coaching for parents of teens and tweens. How to connect, how to parent, and how to reparent yourself if you’re struggling with your teen or tween. 
• More webinars coming in 2024 as well! 

As always, I offer a free 20-minute discovery call to see if coaching is right for you. If you’re not quite ready to sign up for a group or one-on-one coaching, set up a time to talk with me about your needs and find out how I can help you. 

Resources: 

Sign up for a FREE 20 minute discovery call: https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/p/free-discovery-call-ck6qf

If you would like to do my 8-week 1:1 coaching with me to get a custom road map on how best to tune into your child’s needs, book a free call to see if we are a good fit. https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/theparentingreframe_store/page/51536

Check out my free PARR Workshop download with tons of great tools and resources: https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/p/free-parr-workshop-download

Be sure to sign up for my Substack newsletter for longer and more specialized parenting content: https://albiona.substack.com/ 

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

Follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe

The holidays can be a stressful time, especially for your children who are used to their routines. We want a perfect holiday, but sometimes we need to adjust our expectations of how that looks. Here are some tips on helping you enjoy the holidays a little bit more. 

Tips for a less stressful holiday:

• Adjust your expectations of how the holidays should look.
• Don’t force the thank you. They do not understand why.
• Let them know why they should be thankful, and model it for them.
• Tips on how you can say thank you after the fact.
• Consider where and what you are saying yes to.
• Check in with yourself on what really matters, not trying to have everything perfect. Make a list of have-to’s and then what you tell yourself has to be done but doesn’t. 
• Try to stick to a schedule. It’s ok if you can’t. Don’t beat yourself up. 
• Have a grounding practice to help stay calm. Check out Ep 7 for more tips on this from my friend Harmony Slater.
• Don’t add more to your plate; look to simplify things. Even a 2 min meditation can help. Whatever works best for you. 
• Starfish breathing benefits kids when they need to relax or start the day. 
• At the end of the day, anchor yourself and look back at 3 things that were wins that day. 

Resources: 

Here is the link to join The Parenting Reset, which will start on January 13th, there are only a few spots left.

https://theparentingreframe.com/the-parenting-program/

Check out Episode 7 with Harmony Slater on how to help stay calm. This is a good one to listen to this time of year. 

https://theparentingreframe.com/podcast-episodes/episode-7-tools-to-help-parents-and-kids-manage-stress-with-harmony-slater/

Here is the app I use for mediation.

https://apps.apple.com/us/app/the-breathing-app/id1285982210

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

I have some really exciting updates to share with you in today’s episode! I’ve been considering new ways to help and serve this community. Most of my life has been working jobs that have been in service to others, as a teacher, a nanny, a speech and language pathologist, and now as a parenting coach. I am excited to tell you what has been happening in my life recently and a brand new coaching offering.  

Life Update:

• I recently stopped working my conventional 9-5 speech and language pathologist job to focus my energy full time on The Parenting Reframe.
• While I loved my time at Kaufman Children’s Center, I realized it was time to move forward and pursue coaching and writing.
• I am so grateful for my time there and for all the people who supported me along the way. I learned so much during my time at Kaufman and wish that everyone could experience a work environment like the one I was a part of for so many years.

A New Coaching Offering:

• I am excited to announce that I will now be offering life coaching sessions utilizing a parenting process. The process is very specific, and also the topic of my book, which includes 5 critical tenets of living a more peaceful life.
• These tenets are meant to help you with reparenting, healing, transforming, embarking on a new way of being, and so many other things.
• This life coaching looks at you as an individual and you do not need to be a parent to work with me as a life coach.
• In life coaching, I will give you the tools to address these challenges through the lens of parenting. Parenting is a life skill and you can use the processes of parenting to help you through many different life events.
• What are the ways we can parent ourselves back to a place of peace and joy?
• You can work with me in two ways: either in a one-time session for a singular burning question or over a longer period of time, where we can work to more deeply transform your life, by identifying the patterns and seeds that keep you stuck.
• I am only opening four spots for life coaching.
• You can book a free 20-minute discovery call to find out more about life coaching and if it’s a good fit for you: https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/p/free-life-coaching-discovery-call

5 Tenets to Return to a Place of Peace:

• How to Master the Pause: pausing can change the trajectory of your relationships, your perspective on things, and help you to be less reactive
• Practicing Stillness: meditation, breathwork, and finding ways to ground yourself help you practice stillness and quieting the noise.
• Honoring Simplicity: when you recognize what is most important physically and mentally everything gets more clear and you can find an easier way through.
• Embracing Change: honoring the idea that you need to keep growing, learning, and finding new arenas to challenge yourself.
• Trusting Your Intuition: when the other four tenets fall into place, you are more able to listen to your intuition and trust yourself.

Resources: 

Sign up for a FREE 20 minute discovery call to see if life coaching is right for you: https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/p/free-life-coaching-discovery-call

Be sure to sign up for my Substack newsletter for longer and more specialized parenting content: https://albiona.substack.com/ 

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

Follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe 

In this episode, I had a conversation with Dr. Jennifer Freed, the bestselling author of Use Your Planets Wisely and a renowned psychological astrologer and social and emotional education trainer. She has spent over thirty years consulting clients and businesses world wide on psychological, spiritual, and educational topics.

A few years ago I read her bestseller, A Map to Your Soul, and completely fell in love with my introduction to astrology through her book. She is a wise soul who knows exactly how to integrate astrology into your everyday life. She has a new product called “Cosmic Parenting” that is a birth chart for kids, adults, and families to learn about each other. We talk through a lot of different topics on this episode and you won’t want to miss it! 

Here’s what we talk about with Dr. Freed: 

• How psychology and astrology are a practical blending of healing and transformation. 
• The process of creating the “Cosmic Parenting” card deck to help families have a neutral and enjoyable way to learn about each other. 
• Using the cards to be a conversation starter with curiosity as the spark.
• How to utilize the “Cosmic Parenting” card deck as a tool to look at the different parts of yourself and have a playful investigation with the ones you love. 
• The necessity of constructive criticism to grow strong kids and families.
• Dr. Freed helps Albiona understand her birth chart.
• Feeling the freedom in parenting when you can say “I made a mistake.” 
• Teaching kids that failure and losing is a part of the process of getting better and more resilient in all aspects of life. 

You can find Dr. Jennifer Freed on her Website - https://www.jenniferfreed.com/

And on her Substack - https://substack.com/@drjenniferfreed

Feel free to send an email via her website: https://www.jenniferfreed.com/contact

Get the “Cosmic Parenting” card deck here: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/712663/cosmic-parenting-by-jennifer-freed-phd/?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email

For more insight into parenting in today’s world, be sure to subscribe to my Substack: https://www.albiona.substack.com

And be sure to follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe and Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe for more parenting tips and advice.

In this episode, I am had the pleasure to have Ana Lorena Fabrega, the author of the book "The Learning Game" on and talk about how she is reframing education. Ana is an edupreneur and writer who is passionate about rethinking education. She shares her insights on the current state of education, the skills kids need for the future, and how parents can help their kids thrive in school.

What we go over with Ana on Reframing Education:

• The traditional school system is not preparing kids for the future.
• Kids need to learn how to think critically, solve problems, and be creative.
• Parents can help their kids learn by providing them with opportunities to explore their interests and by being their biggest cheerleaders.
• There are many alternative educational options available, such as homeschooling, online learning, and microschools.
• Talk to your kids about their interests and how you can help them learn.
• Find an alternative educational option that is right for your family.

Bio:

Ana Lorena Fabrega is an  edupreneur, writer, and Chief Evangelist at Synthesis. Growing up, she attended ten schools in seven different countries. She then earned her BS in Childhood Education and Special Education from New York University and taught elementary school in New York, Boston, and Panama. Today, Ana Lorena, known by her students as Ms. Fab, writes online to over 200,000 readers about the promise of alternative education. You can follow her on Twitter at @anafabrega11

Read Ana's book "The Learning Game" https://afabrega.com/

Visit the Synthesis website to learn more about their online school.

https://www.synthesis

If you would like to do my 8-week 1:1 coaching with me to get a custom road map on how best to tune into your child’s needs, book a free call to see if we are a good fit. https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/theparentingreframe_store/page/51536

I’m back with a solo episode for the first time in a little while and I’m talking about the three pieces of parenting advice that I am loving right now. Parenting advice can be tricky because something might really resonate with you at one moment in time, but a year later you can feel completely different about the whole thing. With that in mind, these are three things that have been on my mind in this present moment that I think are not only applicable to parenting but also in life. There is a lot about parenting and life advice that go hand in hand. The way we parent our kids has to be in alignment with the way we parent ourselves, parent through challenges, and parent over the course of ups and downs. Here are the three things I talk about in this episode: 

Slowing Down

• Creating awareness around the pattern of over filling your schedule and recognizing when it’s happening and why. 
• Being more intentional about saying yes to things.
• Slowing down forces you to look at your inner self and what your needs are rather than constantly serving others. 
• In parenting, slowing down allows us to be more thoughtful and present rather than emotional and reactive. 

Express Empathy Towards Your Kids 

• Empathy is the ability to sit with another and allow them to express their feeling or emotion without the desire to change it. 
• Wanting your kids to calm down or change their emotions is not helping them learn the life skill of regulation. 
• We don’t have to fix or change anything, we can just let it be. Being held by someone who is just listening and supporting is the most comforting thing.

Inviting Moments of Discomfort

• The real way you learn about ourselves is through struggle. When we are in uncomfortable moments we learn things like resilience and flexibility. 
• Uncomfortable moments build a foundation of self trust that is an incredible life skill. 
• You never know what leaning into discomfort might bring your way and what doors might open because of it. 
• Encouraging your kids to try something that will put them in a slightly uncomfortable situation helps them grow their confidence.

Resources: 

My article about slowing down in parenting: https://theeverymom.com/parenting-coach-wellness-advice/

Listen to the Dr. Shefali podcast episode here: https://theparentingreframe.com/podcast-episodes/episode-54-conscious-parenting-with-dr-shefali/

Elise Loehnen’s podcast episode with Nicole Avant: https://www.eliseloehnen.com/episodes/h1mjtwhv3bo2nddnd6ikmoj8ogsbzf-nkwfb-lpty8

Be sure to sign up for my Substack newsletter for longer and more specialized parenting content: https://albiona.substack.com/ 

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

Follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe 

In this episode, I sat down to talk with Mikki Gardner, author of the book The People Pleasers Guide to Co-Parenting Well. Mikki is a certified life, and conscious parenting coach committed to walking alongside moms post-divorce and separation. She wants to help moms parent their children in a calm, clear, and confident way regardless of what their co-parent is or is not doing. She uses tools and strategies to navigate this process that come from her own personal experiences. Mikki firmly believes that every parent has the opportunity to create a harmonious environment for their child. 

What we go over with Mikki: 

• Moving out of the role as a fix-it parent and being able to sit in your own discomfort when it comes to challenges.
• Using the 3 A’s (Awareness, Agency, and Aligned Action) to help put a stop to the blame game when dealing with an ex.
• Stepping out of reactivity and stepping into response-ability to settle in and learn how to deal with feeling triggered.
• Not “should-ing” the situation to avoid assumptions or expectations from ourselves or others including our kids and co-parents.
• How to reframe our beliefs that our way is the right way to do things, especially in the context of co-parenting.
• The focus of many co-parents on what they have to do in comparison to what their co-parent does or does not do and shifting to what you want your home and relationship with your children to look like.
• Recognizing patterns to create a plan for a more peaceful co-parenting.
• Realizing divorce has a grief process attached to it that requires compassion, time, and reflection.
• Ways to calm your nervous system down in times of heightened stress or conflict.
• How over- or under-functioning can occur because of a lack of trust in ourselves and how to build back that confidence in ourselves.

You can find Mikki on Instagram -  https://www.instagram.com/mikkigardner

And on her website https://www.mikkigardner.com/

You can also check out her podcast, Co-Parenting With Confidence: https://www.mikkigardner.com/podcast

Check out the Team Supercrew book set: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BZZ1938R/

For more insight into parenting in today’s world, be sure to subscribe to my Substack: https://www.albiona.substack.com

And be sure to follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe and Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe for more parenting tips and advice.

On this week’s podcast episode, Joe Newman, author of Raising Lions, is back to talk more about his method and how it works. His first time on The Parenting Reframe Podcast is still one of the most popular and most-listened to episodes. Joe is a kid intuitive and understands the ways kids behave. If you have used words like challenging, strong willed, or spirited to describe your child, you should become familiar with Joe Newman’s work. In this episode, we dive deep into how to use the Raising Lions methods with teens and older kids. I asked my audience to provide questions about different scenarios, and our conversation covered so many wonderful parenting topics.

What we go over with Joe:

• Approaching challenging behaviors with older kids, such as using language that isn’t approved of or being disrespectful.
• Stepping away from scenarios to where you don’t know what to do in the moment but you don't like the interaction.
• How Joe’s Break method and Albiona’s PARR method lean into pausing or breaking in a heated situation for parents to be able to change their thinking. 
• Why over explaining things to kids can lead to feelings of “it’s not fair” or other behaviors that are challenging. 
• Teaching kids to self regulate, be respectful of others while expressing agency, and problem solve as they grow up in the world.
• How parents can help build autonomy for their kids without steering their thinking.
• Defiance and passive tantrums are a natural response when kids feel like they have lost autonomy
• The three steps of what to do when you’re in a time pressure situation, driving, or outside of the house and you need a break.
• Advice for teachers and parapros helping students at school who are defiant. 

You can find more information about Raising Lions at Joe’s website: https://www.raisinglions.com/

Joe Newman on The Parenting Reframe Podcast: https://theparentingreframe.com/podcast-episodes/episode-29-raising-lions-with-joe-newman/

For more insight into parenting in today’s world, be sure to subscribe to my Substack: https://www.albiona.substack.com

And be sure to follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe and Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe for more parenting tips and advice.

In today's solo minisode I’m talking all about strong-willed kids. I’ve been talking a lot about this in my emails and on my social media lately because I know it’s a topic that many parents struggle with. Strong-willed kids are the ones that I like to call fair fighters - they’re always keeping score and want to make sure everything is right in their world. But this can cause them to easily spiral out of control the second things don’t go their way. I want to share three key points that come up over and over again in one-on-one and group coaching in regards to strong willed kids.

If this episode resonates with you, consider signing up for my group coaching program all about raising strong willed kids and emotional regulation for kids and parents starting November 21! The link to register is in the Resources. 

Does Your Kid Value Approval or Power? 

• We set up an expectation and kids usually comply.
• Strong-willed kids don’t seek or value approval from authority or parents. It’s not important enough for them.
• Instead they value power but they don’t have the capacity to hold all of it. 
• They try to find out how much power they can have until they start to lose control.
• Strong-willed kids will then look for an anchor to keep them in a safe state when they start to lose control.

Explanations Don’t Work 

• We try to give kids the tools and the choices to understand why things are happening. 
• Explanations don’t deter a strong-willed kid from their actions.
• An explanation gives information but they are not lacking information. It may be a bigger issue of impulse control, tolerating frustration, sensory overload, or something else.
• If there is a lack of information, the next time they face something similar the outcome will be different. 
• Get to the root of what skills they need to develop to reduce the behavior you don’t want to see. 

Self Regulate Yourself

• It’s incredibly triggering for parents when a strong-willed kid is emotionally out of control. It’s important for the parent to self regulate themselves when the child is unable to.
• They are looking for someone to be calm in the storm.
• We have to create a really consistent, predictable structure through boundaries. 
• This structuring takes time and will take a while to set the expectations and make changes where needed. 
• Teaching them how to regulate their emotions is an important step to help your child foster their inner free spirit and communicate their needs and emotions.

Resources: 

Sign up for my Group Coaching Program starting November 21: stan.store/theparentingreframe/p/group-coaching-raising-strong-willed-kids-51n42

Joe Newman podcast episode: https://theparentingreframe.com/podcast-episodes/episode-49-a-raising-lions-q-a-with-joe-newman/

Sign up for a FREE 20 minute discovery call: https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/p/free-discovery-call-ck6qf

Be sure to sign up for my Substack newsletter for longer and more specialized parenting content: https://albiona.substack.com/ 

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

Follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe 

MetroParent asked me to write an article on The 5 Things I Would Never Do as a Parenting Coach, and I thought it would be fun to join the TikTok trend. I go over my top 5, and ways to reframe the situation to help you and your kiddos thrive. 

The 5 Things I Would Never Do as a Parenting Coach:

• Why I don’t make kiddos apologize for their behaviors.
• We go over why this is not teaching your children empathy.
• Even though your child’s behavior is not always great, this does not mean you have a bad kid or are doing a bad job as a parent.
• Why I will never feel afraid of making mistakes as a parent.
• How to use the 80/20 rule when you feel bad for yelling at your child.
• Why using the moments when you aren’t doing your best parenting is the perfect time to help teach your child about how to reset and repair the situation. 
• Why giving yourself grace is so essential for you and your kiddo.
• Why confidence is gained through competence.
• It’s hard, but we must let our kids go through struggles. 
• What experience stacking is and why it’s important.
• 5 - 6-year-olds should have better coping skills and fewer tantrums; if not, they just need extra help dealing with difficult situations.
• How I still have a hard time not stepping in to help with my grown children.
• Why I never try to control the outcome. 
• Your child’s path may be very different from what you expected. Pay attention to the reasons why.
• I tell a story from a professor from my college days about why giving our kids the space to learn works and is important for the learning process. 
• Why I would never parent from a rigid place.

Resources: 

MetroParent article - The 5 Things I Would Never Do as a Parenting Coach - https://www.metroparent.com/parenting/advice/what-a-parenting-coach-would-never-do/

Here is the link to join The Parenting Reset, which will start in January.

https://theparentingreframe.com/the-parenting-program/

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

Children don't just listen; we have to teach them how to listen, and for every child, that looks different. In today's episode, I give the listening do's and don'ts.

What we cover on how to get your kids to listen:

Do get ahead of it. Try to anticipate what your child might struggle with, and set up a framework before the activity.

Don't give multiple reminders.

Do attach an action to your direction.

Do take short breaks to help with emotional regulation

What does discipline mean?

Go easy on yourself. If you didn't follow through one day, it's OK! 

Gaining cooperation isn't always easy, but the more we can help kids when they're younger, the easier it gets as they get older.

Resources: 

I hope you found this episode helpful, for more parenting tips check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options

 https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/