Explore every episode of The Offensive
| Pub. Date | Title | Duration | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 27 Sep 2021 | Episode 124 - See a Man About a Dog | 00:21:55 | |
As Ashwood City's form improves, Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall secures a new First Team Coach to work under Head Coach Sven-Goran Eriksson. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Ant McGinley as David Hall John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 18 Jan 2021 | Episode 101 - Who Swears Wins | 00:23:47 | |
The new regime under Sven-Göran Eriksson has provided a much needed impetus for Ashwood City Football Club. The turn of fortunes even reflects onto the Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan as he secures a rare appearance on a dedicated Ashwood supporters' podcast feed. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Sven-Goran Eriksson as Himself Alberto Iriarte as Beñat 'Benny' Bengoetxea Additional Voices: Nalan Burgess Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 21 Jan 2019 | Episode 021: Cheques, Spies, Videotape | 00:23:17 | |
A leaked disgruntled conference held with the written press by Rod Meadows hits home following suspicious activity during a sports science program at the training ground. Tension is rising at the club as the likelihood of selling Ivan Lloyd suddenly becomes very real. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall
Additional voices: Lucinda Shaw Luke Stevenson Joel Emery
Episode written by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery
WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 07 Oct 2019 | Episode 046 - Brussels Scouts | 00:21:14 | |
Ashwood City take on Tottenham Hotspur in the Premier League at the newly developed Tottenham Hotspur Stadium. Patrick and Woody are admiring not only the new stadium belonging to the North London club; but also one of their centre-backs. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 20 Sep 2021 | Episode 123 - Repo Man | 00:20:02 | |
The feel-good factor around the club is spilling over into the private life of Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan. Once besieged by abuse and torment, it would seem the fans have finally been appeased... Those popular new acquisitions however are coming at a costly price. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 05 Apr 2021 | Episode 111 - Simms City: Part 1 | 00:21:11 | |
Ashwood City face Manchester City in matchweek 30 of the Premier League. As the domestic season looks to be a fairly quiet one on the pitch for the Kent side; off the pitch the bidding process is in disarray as Harvey Simms and the Ashwood City Supporters' Trust turn up the pressure on Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Rhys Tees as Frank Finnan Additional Voices: Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell & Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery Music featured: 'Gravitated' by Edgar Hopp With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 13 Jan 2020 | Episode 061 - Wayne's World | 00:22:20 | |
The Premier League returns after a brief FA Cup interlude. For Ashwood City preparations for the visit of Crystal Palace have been disrupted by the disgruntled 'Wayne'. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Additional voices Lucinda Shaw Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 11 Mar 2019 | Episode 027: From Borussia With Love | 00:22:17 | |
Ashwood City are looking to entertain various potential corporate clients and sponsors for next season; permitting Premier League survival. As the club look to send staff on various networking trips - Jess and Woody have made their own personal excursion to a more prestigious venue. Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Episode written by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery
WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 28 Sep 2020 | Episode 090 - Forget Me Yacht | 00:27:13 | |
For matchweek three of the Premier League; Ashwood City take their perfect record to Craven Cottage. Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall and Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan, however, have other social commitments. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr Rachel Webber Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 25 Nov 2019 | Episode 053 - Desert Storm | 00:20:26 | |
Ashwood City are concluding a brief warm weather training session in Saudi Arabia ahead of the next Premier League matchweek. With a player revolt behind them; Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan and Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall are looking for the remaining conspirators. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Esmonde Cole as Howard Jagger Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison Nalan Burgess as Claudia Seymour Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 30 Aug 2021 | Episode 121 – Deadline Day: Part 2 | 00:27:25 | |
The English transfer window is closing fast and Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan is struggling under the pressure; during the once in a lifetime window for Ashwood City. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Amina Koroma as Dofi Akuffo Additional Voices: Joaquin Augusto Quinteros Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery & Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 30 Sep 2019 | Episode 044 - Riches Get Itches | 00:22:00 | |
Pressure is mounting on Patrick as financial conduct, club form and dressing room turmoil are all catching up with him, he pays a visit to the club doctor to seek some medical assistance. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr. Rachel Webber Esmonde Cole as Howard Jagger Additional voices: Luke Stevenson Directed by: Adam Jarrell & Paul Waggott Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 24 May 2021 | Episode 118 - Finale: Part 2 | 00:27:14 | |
It's the final matchweek of the Premier League season and Ashwood City Chief Executive Patrick Nolan finds himself with a new level of power. The dramatic events of the week before have not been taken lightly by Anaheim Sports Group as Patrick takes to The University of Ashwood to reflect on his recent endeavours. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr. Rachel Webber Ramone Dale-Cruickshank as Harvey Simms Adam Alexander as Adam Tate John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Additional Voices: Joel Emery Nalan Burgess Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 26 Nov 2018 | Episode 014: Board Games | 00:23:46 | |
Another defeat - this time away to relegation candidates Huddersfield Town, leaves Ashwood in the bottom three for the first time this season. The ownership begin to have mixed feelings about their Head Coach Felix Grosjean; leaving Patrick, Jess and Woody tasked with planning for the future. For Patrick, the vote of confidence from the board members takes an opportunistic turn...
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall
Episode written by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery
WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. Thanks for listening, follow the club on twitter @AshwoodCity Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 12 Dec 2019 | Episode 057 - All's Well That Ends Well | 00:20:45 | |
It's the final game of the Europa League Group Stage and Ashwood City face Qarabag at home. In the lead up to kick off, the club hierarchy have arranged to shoot an advert. Adam Jarrell as Chris Well Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr. Rachel Webber Allon Sylvain as Eric van Smit Adam Jarrell as Kieran Broom Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell & Joel Emery
Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 13 May 2019 | Episode 035 - Finale: Part 2 | 00:23:35 | |
The game is underway. The only thing standing between Ashwood City and Europa League football is Fulham FC. Woody is still nowhere to be seen as the tentative first half draws to a close. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison Additional voices: Lucinda Shaw
Episode written by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. This is a Primley Limited Production. Copyright 2019 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 17 Dec 2018 | Episode 017: The Transfer Committee | 00:20:40 | |
With the transfer window opening in just over two weeks and with a new Head Coach lined up to replace the struggling Felix Grosjean; Ashwood are conducting their annual transfer committee. Amidst the chaotic player recruitment and research, Patrick is looking to sign his player that will secure funds for Thomas Fell and ensure Patrick receives 15% of the club for a cut price. Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
Additional voices: Rhys Tees Joel Emery
Episode written by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery
WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 22 Apr 2019 | Episode 032: Thrown to the Wolves | 00:26:59 | |
Whilst attending a team bonding week Patrick recounts to Woody his latest foray with Gary Briggs during the Easter weekend's victory against Wolverhampton Wanderers. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Directed by: Adam Jarrell
Episode written by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery
WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.
Listener discretion is advised Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 23 Aug 2021 | Episode 120 - Deadline Day: Part 1 | 00:22:57 | |
The opportunity to improve the Ashwood City squad for the 2021/22 Premier League season is slipping away. An old ally of Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan offers an unlawful alternative to their transfer woes. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Christopher Swift as Reuben Thomas Additional Voices: Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery & Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 04 Nov 2019 | Episode 050 - Lest He Forget | 00:22:09 | |
Ashwood City are playing host to the Champions; Manchester City on their final home Premier League game before Remembrance Day. A recent faux-pas by Patrick Nolan has prompted the Chief-Executive to keep a low profile on the matchday. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison Rhys Tees as Hutch Lewis Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 29 Nov 2021 | Episode 131 - Live by the Fraud, Die by the Fraud | 00:20:21 | |
Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan has secured a massive sponsorship deal with a cryptocurrency marketplace that even involves an unprecedented £200m stadium naming-rights deal. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jessica Tate Christopher Swift as Reuben Thomas Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell and Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 03 Dec 2018 | Episode 015: Good Klopp Bad Klopp | 00:20:40 | |
As Ashwood prepare for the visit of Liverpool, Patrick is infuriated following derogatory comments about Ashwood from Jurgen Klopp and various analysts within the mainstream media. In an effort to enact revenge and give Ashwood the upper hand in the game he and Woody take drastic steps. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall
Additional voices: Rhys Tees Nalan Burgess Jonny Blain Joel Emery
Episode written by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery
WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 01 Feb 2021 | Episode 103 - Deadline Day: Part 2 | 00:22:21 | |
On the final day of the January Transfer Window news comes to light that recent signing Kelvin Reid has had intimate relations with the wife of club veteran; Marco Nipic. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Ray Strasser-King as Kelvin Reid John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Alberto Iriarte as Beñat 'Benny' Bengoetxea Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 25 Feb 2019 | Episode 025: Tour de Farce | 00:20:17 | |
After being suspended from the club, Patrick is exploring ways to get back into power. Old friends in low places secure him a meeting with a lawyer to assist. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall George Still as Geoff Monroe
Episode written by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery
WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 08 Nov 2021 | Episode 129 - Soldier of Misfortune | 00:24:58 | |
Ashwood City take on Burnley at home in the final Dartley Park fixture before Remembrance Sunday. Chief Executive Patrick Nolan works closely with his communications team to ensure the memorial presentation is befitting of those who sacrificed their lives. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jessica Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Additional Voices: Thomas Mitchells Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 04 Nov 2018 | Episode 012: Snakes on a Train | 00:22:45 | |
As the scandal deepens and FA investigations continue, Head of Ethics: Benedict Rice, along with Chief Executive Patrick Nolan and the Vice Head of Football Operations Nick Bernardi have accompanied the playing staff aboard the train to Newcastle, as a show of solidarity for their upcoming fixture.
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Sam Hallahan as Nick 'The Prick' Bernardi Oliver Dowling as Benedict Rice
Additional voices: Joel Emery
Episode written by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 26 Apr 2021 | Episode 114 - The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen | 00:34:27 | |
Off the back of a huge FA Cup Semi-Final appearance for Ashwood City; European football is thrown into chaos as The Super League announce their arrival on the world stage. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Rhys Tees as Frank Finnan Adam Alexander as Adam Tate Additional Voices: Joel Emery Nalan Burgess Luke Stevenson Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 03 May 2021 | Episode 115 - The End of an Error | 00:25:01 | |
The hierarchy of Ashwood City is turned on its head as the Supporters Trust gain significant progress due to some help from an old friend. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison Rhys Tees as Frank Finnan Adam Alexander as Adam Tate Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr Rachel Webber Additional Voices: Joel Emery Luke Stevenson Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 19 Oct 2020 | Episode 092 - Demolition Man | 00:31:06 | |
Fresh from the International Break as well as the possibility of 'Project Big Picture', Patrick Nolan embarks on his own project as he attempts to put the final nail in the coffin of the Ashwood City Youth Academy, albeit with a little help from some friends in low places. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Additional Voices Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell & Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 21 Oct 2019 | Episode 047 - Black Hawk Clown | 00:22:44 | |
The Premier League has returned from the international break and Ashwood City face Brighton at Dartley Park. With hastily made plans to find a sponsor for the former Gerry Harkness stand; the club face fierce protests and a possible boycott of the game. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Additional voices: Luke Stevenson Joel Emery Lucinda Shaw Alex Marshall Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited-- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 27 Oct 2021 | The Making of The Offensive | 00:34:03 | |
To celebrate Acast's Audio Fiction Week, take a peek behind the curtain of Ashwood City with this special behind-the-scenes look at the making of episode 126 of The Offensive. Featuring creators Joel Emery and Adam Jarrell as well as Paul Waggott (Patrick Nolan) and Helena Doughty (Jess Tate). Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell & Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 13 Dec 2021 | Episode 133 - The Fairytale of New York | 00:20:05 | |
In the fallout from his recent public faux-pas, pressure is mounting on Ashwood City Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan as he attempts to evade the authorities. A visit to a local children's hospital, however, may have given him the inspiration he needs. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jessica Tate John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 27 Feb 2020 | Episode 069 - Broom With a View | 00:27:16 | |
Ashwood City are in Basel, Switzerland for the second leg of their Europa League Round of 32 tie. In addition to already trailing 1-0 on aggregate, the side now have to deal with club captain Kieran Broom walking out on the team prior to kick-off. Allon Sylvain as Eric van Smit Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr Rachel Webber Adam Jarrell as Kieran Broom Esmonde Cole as Howard Jagger Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Additional Voices: Nalan Burgess Joel Emery Casting Director: Kirsty Gillmore Directed by: Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery & Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 11 May 2020 | Episode 081 - Fever Pitch | 00:32:26 | |
The first match of the season in the post-Van Smit era sees fellow Premier League strugglers West Ham United visit Dartley Park. Will the 'New Manager Bounce' materialise and allow Ashwood City to gain three valuable points? Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Joel Emery as Dan Watson Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Rhys Tees as Rob Jefferson Lucinda Shaw as Christine Williams Esmonde Cole as Howard Jagger Lance Fuller as Dwight Hayes Matt Jansen as Himself
Directed by: Adam Jarrell & Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell and Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 02 Nov 2020 | Episode 094 - Patrick or Treat | 00:24:53 | |
Following an away defeat to Wolverhampton Wanderers, Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall finds himself as an unwilling chauffeur to Head of Communications Jess Tate, as they make their way to the Ashwood City Halloween Party. Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Rachel Teate as Dame Georgina Pitt Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 24 Dec 2018 | Episode 018: The Christmas Special One | 00:40:53 | |
MERRY CHRISTMAS The Offensive will return on Monday 7th January with an FA Cup special. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Rhys Tees as Hutch Lewis Oliver Dowling as Benedict Rice Denis Michallet as Felix Grosjean Joel Emery as Dan Watson Episode written by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 08 Jun 2020 | Episode 085 - Finale: Part 2 | 00:38:49 | |
Premier League survival hangs in the balance as Ashwood City take on Manchester United in the final game of the season. The Offensive will return at the start of the 2020/2021 season. Thank you for your continued support. Visit ashwoodcity.com and patreon.com/ashwoodcity for more. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison Esmonde Cole as Kyle Francis-Clarke Lance Fuller as Dwight Hayes Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr Rachel Webber Peter Drury as Himself Additional Voices: Joel Emery Ant McGinley Owen Maers Directed by: Adam Jarrell & Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell and Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery "Gravitated" by Edgar Hopp WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 30 Mar 2020 | Episode 075 - Rebel Without a Clause | 00:24:07 | |
In a time of unprecedented government support for businesses, Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan has taken the opportunity to make the most of the tax-payer funded assistance. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Lucinda Shaw as Christine Williams Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Additional voices Luke Moore Lynne Shaw Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery & Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 07 Jan 2019 | Episode 019: El Crapico | 00:21:16 | |
It's time for the FA Cup Third Round and The Kent Derby. Off the back of an encouraging run under new manager Rod Meadows the Ashwood City bus is stopped in its tracks outside Priestfield Stadium in Gillingham as the local crowds block its approach.
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall
Episode written by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 20 Dec 2021 | Episode 134 - The Christmas Special One IV | 00:30:53 | |
The Ashwood City hierarchy head to The Big Apple. Brazilian centre forward Kevin, however, is lost in New York. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jessica Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 28 Nov 2019 | Episode 054 - Slip of the Iceberg | 00:22:16 | |
It's Thursday night football yet again and Ashwood City are up against Rangers in Glasgow as their penultimate Europa League fixture sees them look to recover from their 4-0 defeat to Roma and their 3-0 domestic defeat to Leicester City. Last time out, Rangers boss Steven Gerrard neglected to shake Eric's hand, this time out Eric is looking to return the snub. Thomas Mitchells as William van Ginkel Nalan Burgess as Natasha Hardy Allon Sylvain as Eric van Smit Esmonde Cole as KFC Adam Jarrell as Chris Well Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 17 Jan 2022 | Episode 135 - (AF)CON AIR | 00:25:39 | |
As matchweek two of AFCON begins, Ashwood City Chief Executive Patrick Nolan and Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall fly out to Cameroon to ensure high profile talent Christian Akuffo is being taken care of. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr Rachel Webber Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Additional Voices: Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 24 Jan 2022 | Episode 136 - Deadline Day: Part 1 | 00:23:36 | |
Ashwood City host a thrilling Premier League clash with Wolves as Head of Football Operations Colin Walsh and Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall field unwanted interest in Kevin from a European super club. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Additional Voices: Joel Emery Joaquin Augusto Quinteros Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 31 Jan 2022 | Episode 137 - Deadline Day: Part 2 | 00:22:21 | |
Deadline day has arrived and Chief Executive Patrick Nolan is chasing the highly controversial offer from Real Madrid for star forward Kevin; much to the dismay of Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 07 Feb 2022 | Episode 138 - The Wrong Man | 00:23:07 | |
A jaw dropping exit by Head Coach Sven Goran Eriksson in the closing stages of Deadline Day leaves Ashwood City in disarray. A long term managerial search is in the pipeline, but in the short term the club need to choose a man for the job. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Ant McGinley as David Hall Christopher Swift as Reuben Thomas Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 14 Feb 2022 | Episode 139 - Fool's Gold | 00:25:10 | |
Chief Executive Patrick Nolan is working closely with Amazon Prime Video to ensure that the next season of 'All or Nothing' covers Ashwood City Football Club. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Nalan Burgess as Nina Bradshaw Allon Sylvain as Eric van Smit Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 21 Feb 2022 | Episode 140 - The Breakfast Club | 00:24:32 | |
In the early hours of the morning, Ashwood City Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall wakes to the news that club captain Kieran Broom has committed a public misdemeanour after being removed from a nightclub. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell and Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 28 Feb 2022 | Episode 141 - The Special One(s) | 00:25:30 | |
After a humbling defeat to Burnley at Turf Moor, filling the vacant managerial role has become an absolute priority for the club. Chief Executive Patrick Nolan, Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall, Head of Communications Jess Tate and Head of Football Operations Colin Walsh disperse amongst European cities to approach their managerial targets. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 07 Mar 2022 | Episode 142 - Deep Blue Sea | 00:25:22 | |
With global politics playing havoc with the stability of Ashwood City assets, Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan has his eye drawn to another Premier League club as Ashwood host Newcastle United at Dartley Park. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 14 Mar 2022 | Episode 143 - Anger Management | 00:21:51 | |
A humbling 3-0 defeat at West Ham prompts Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall to review the game in the analysis room. Interim Head Coaches Chris Well, David Hall and the entire first team squad are in attendance for the match review. Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Ant McGinley as David Hall Christopher Swift as Reuben Thomas Adam Jarrell as Chris Well Adam Jarrell as Kieran Broom Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 21 Mar 2022 | Episode 144 - From Russia with Love | 00:22:29 | |
An unprecedented sanction has hit Ashwood City Football Club following the exposure of Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan's links to problematic Russian investment. With tight restrictions and panic setting in, Patrick must ensure he can get the UK government to ease the ruling. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 25 Mar 2022 | Introducing... Jackie the Ripper Season Two | Out Monday 28th March | 00:01:10 | |
From the creators of The Offensive. The chart-topping comedy drama retelling the Whitechapel murders returns for a second series. Search ‘Jackie the Ripper’ wherever you get your podcasts to catch up on season one now and follow @JackieRipperPod on Twitter. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 04 Apr 2022 | Episode 145 - Business As Unusual | 00:27:35 | |
Premier League football returns, as does a familiar face to Ashwood City Football Club... Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Christopher Swift as Reuben Thomas Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 11 Apr 2022 | Episode 146 - Force Mature | 00:20:13 | |
Ashwood City have rediscovered their form at the right time in the season. Next up, fellow sanctioned Premier League side Chelsea FC. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 18 Apr 2022 | Episode 147 - Sun's Out, Funds Out | 00:21:48 | |
Chief Executive Patrick Nolan MBE is enjoying a well-earned break in the Seychelles. Little does he know that a seismic decision Stateside will cut his trip short. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 25 Apr 2022 | Episode 148 - Manic Room | 00:22:13 | |
After a demoralising defeat to Everton at Goodison Park, the Ashwood City juggernaut has stalled... But the headlines are dominated by an offer from Patrick Nolan to purchase the rest of the club and the news has hit the fanbase hard. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery & Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 02 May 2022 | Episode 149 - Bid Adieu | 00:25:57 | |
Anaheim Sports Group are finalising the sale of 55% of Ashwood City to Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan, making him the outright owner of the club. As well as Anaheim Sports Group, Manchester City are also in town as Ashwood look to remain in the race for Champions League qualification. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 09 May 2022 | Episode 150 - All Good Things Come To A Friend | 00:24:08 | |
Patrick Nolan MBE has secured full ownership of the club as Ashwood City thrash Norwich and set up a tantalising final pair of fixtures against Brighton and Leeds. The new takeover however has a final few tweaks to the personnel before completion. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Additional voices: Nalan Burgess Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 16 May 2022 | Episode 151 - Finale: Part 1 | 00:20:22 | |
Ashwood City head into their final game of the 2021/22 season: a home tie against relegation battlers Leeds United. With a win Ashwood City would seal Champions League qualification for the first time in a generation. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Christopher Swift as Reuben Thomas Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr. Rachel Webber John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Ant McGinley as David Hall Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 23 May 2022 | Episode 152 - Finale: Part 2 | 00:18:49 | |
Ashwood City are leading 2-1 in a game they simply must win. Yet with just 15 minutes remaining they've been caught on the break with no one back to cover... Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Christopher Swift as Reuben Thomas Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr. Rachel Webber John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Ant McGinley as David Hall With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 27 Jun 2022 | Introducing... BOOM Season One | Out now | 00:39:17 | |
The makers of The Offensive are here to introduce you to their groundbreaking new drama, BOOM, starring Akie Kotabe, Sharon D. Clarke MBE and Omari Douglas. This is Episode 1, just search ‘BOOM’ wherever you get your podcasts to get all six episodes of Season One now! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 08 Aug 2022 | Episode 153 - 2022/2023 SEASON: The Nolan Era | 00:29:02 | |
Premier League football returns as Ashwood City host Fulham at Dartley Park. Chairman Patrick Nolan M.B.E is eager to kick off the new era with a bang, whilst newly appointed C.E.O Chris 'Woody' Woodall concentrates on cleaning the mess left by Head Coach Eric Van Smit's antics at the end of last season. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Allon Sylvain as Eric Van Smit Additional Voices: Joel Emery Kate Mason Luke Moore Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 15 Aug 2022 | Episode 154 - Apportunity Knocks | 00:21:09 | |
Ashwood staff are impressed with the delivery of a summer project by the new Ashwood City Chief Executive Officer. An envious Patrick Nolan sets out to undermine all the hard work done by Chris 'Woody' Woodall and the rest of the club. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 22 Aug 2022 | Episode 155 - A New Leaf | 00:20:37 | |
Ashwood City Chairman Patrick Nolan and CEO Chris 'Woody' Woodall enjoy the facilities of Broadley Country Club. All is not as it seems, however, as Patrick confides in his Chief Executive. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 29 Aug 2022 | Episode 156 - Deadline Day | 00:20:40 | |
League form has never been worse, their Head Coach has finally been charged by the police and a multitude of other crises emerge... Ashwood City are feeling the heat as Deadline Day approaches. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Allon Sylvain as Eric Van Smit Additional Voices: Nalan Burgess Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 05 Sep 2022 | Episode 157 - Toon Can Play At That Game | 00:29:00 | |
Ashwood City are the visitors at St James' Park in a must-win game for the Super Whites. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall & Kieran Broom John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Additional Voices: Joel Emery Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 12 Sep 2022 | Episode 158 - Lever Pitch: Part One | 00:23:14 | |
It's a momentous day in Ashwood City's history as they travel to the Nou Camp to take on Barcelona in the UEFA Champions League... The historic occasion is somewhat spoiled by a deepening financial crisis at the club. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr Rachel Webber Christopher Swift as Reuben Thomas Additional Voices: Joel Emery Darcey Ferguson Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 19 Sep 2022 | Episode 159 - Lever Pitch: Part Two | 00:26:22 | |
It's the day of the funeral for Queen Elizabeth II. In a momentous occasion for both the club and country, an opportunistic Patrick Nolan decides to showcase Dartley Park to a potential buyer. The Offensive will return after the International Break. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Thomas Mitchells as Simon Napier-Fox Adam Jarrell as Kieran Broom Additional Voices: Joel Emery Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 03 Oct 2022 | Episode 160 - Name and Shame | 00:23:06 | |
For the first time in its history, the Ashwood City Stadium has changed its name courtesy of a new revenue stream secured by Chairman Patrick Nolan MBE. The fallout from this momentous chapter in the club's history is hostile, to say the least. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Additional Voices: Joel Emery Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 29 Apr 2019 | Episode 033: Oman Where Art Thou | 00:21:10 | |
An immediate and unprecedented breakthrough in the future of Ashwood City as Omani billionaire Mohamed Al-Zawi prepares a £615m bid for the club. With the news spreading fast, Ashwood Head Coach Rod Meadows is preparing for life under the new regime. Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Elliot Gindi as Mohamed Al-Zawi
Episode written by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery
WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 10 Oct 2022 | Episode 161 - Flaw and Order | 00:22:04 | |
Senior management at Ashwood City attend a pre-hearing for the legal clash with Arsenal Football Club, as the fallout from the final day of the 2021/22 season continues to engulf the club in financial and legal turmoil... Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Karim Kronfli as Judge Gastrell Jennifer Tierney as Hannah Ingram Harry Attwell as Robert Granger Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 17 Oct 2022 | Episode 162 - Universally Challenged | 00:20:34 | |
During a dull Premier League fixture away to Chelsea, Ashwood CIty Chairman Patrick Nolan is offered a role within His Majesty's Government that could potentially allow him to gain the respect he so desperately desires. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Joel Emery as Hugh Chambers Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery & Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 11 Feb 2019 | Episode 024: A Domestic Coup | 00:21:16 | |
Gary Briggs, the newly appointed Ashwood City Chief Operating Officer is finalising his contract along with Alex Morrison, a Marketing Director, as the club add key additions to their office staff. The new arrivals however; struggle to fit in with club stalwarts Jess Tate and Chris 'Woody' Woodall. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison
Additional voices: Rhys Tees
Episode written by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery
WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 24 Oct 2022 | Episode 163 - Grand Pricks | 00:21:03 | |
Ashwood City Chairman Patrick Nolan M.B.E and Chief Executive Chris 'Woody' Woodall fly to Austin, Texas, to enjoy the US F1 Grand Prix. But the situation surrounding Club Doctor Rachel Webber provides an unwanted distraction from the day's events for Patrick Nolan. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr Rachel Webber Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 31 Oct 2022 | Episode 164 - Smit Happens | 00:26:22 | |
Unfortunate news regarding Head Coach Eric Van Smit forces the club to make a decision. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Allon Sylvain as Eric Van Smit Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr Rachel Webber Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 07 Nov 2022 | Episode 165 - The Damned Re-United: Part 1 | 00:22:15 | |
The World Cup break approaches and Ashwood City desperately needs a new manager to take the reins during the much needed downtime. Chris 'Woody' Woodall and Colin Walsh get to work with their array of scouting talent, Patrick however is distracted by an old acquaintance. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Christopher Swift as Reuben Thomas Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 14 Nov 2022 | Episode 166 - The Damned Re-United: Part 2 | 00:30:03 | |
As the Premier League fixtures wrap up before the World Cup break, Ashwood City owner Patrick Nolan is still trying to secure the services of Mauricio Pochettino. Meanwhile, the players await their international call-ups, and the club bids farewell to Chief Player Liaison Officer, Theo Clinton. The Offensive will return on Boxing Day 2022. For exclusive episodes between now and then – including a special World Cup bonus episode – subscribe to the Ashwood City Patreon for just $5 a month: www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Ant McGinley as David Hall Esmonde Cole as Kyle Francis Clark Additional Voices: Darcey Ferguson Adam Jarrell Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 26 Dec 2022 | Episode 167 - The Christmas Special One V | 00:53:13 | |
Merry Christmas from all of us here at Ashwood City. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Christopher Swift as Reuben Thomas Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Ant McGinley as David Hall Adam Jarrell as Kieran Broom / Chris Well Jemma Moore as Danielle Broom Additional Voices: Joel Emery Vanessa Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 02 Jan 2023 | Episode 168 - Super Trooper | 00:25:28 | |
A new year, and a new beginning for Ashwood City, as the second Dan Watson era gets underway with a visit from fellow Premier League strugglers Everton. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Joel Emery as Dan Watson Ant McGinley as David Hall Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell & Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 09 Jan 2023 | Episode 169 - Mixing Business with Pleasure (Beach) | 00:21:30 | |
Ashwood City take on SkyBet Championship side Blackpool in the Third Round of the FA Cup. Before the game, Chief Executive Chris 'Woody' Woodall takes Club Chairman Patrick Nolan to Blackpool Pleasure Beach. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Joel Emery as Dan Watson Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 16 Jan 2023 | Episode 170 - Woody's Roundup | 00:21:52 | |
Ashwood City Chief Executive Chris 'Woody' Woodall goes back to his roots on a scouting mission to recruit an up-and-coming player for the January transfer window. All voices by Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 23 Jan 2023 | Episode 171 - Deadline Day: Part 1 | 00:27:52 | |
The departure of Brazilian striker Kevin brings about yet more protests at The Credit Master Stadium. Despite a decent run of form in the league, the Ashwood CIty hierarchy find themselves locked in the offices, for their own safety. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Joel Emery as Dan Watson Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 30 Jan 2023 | Episode 172 - Deadline Day: Part 2 | 00:25:06 | |
A seismic day in the history of Ashwood City Football Club has arrived as the severe financial crisis, internal disputes, player disharmony and firesale of key team members comes to a head on a tumultuous Deadline Day. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Joel Emery as Dan Watson John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Christopher Swift as Reuben Thomas Additional voices by Darcey Ferguson Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell and Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Holy Smokes Media Ltd Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 06 Feb 2023 | Episode 173 - London Calling | 00:23:30 | |
After a brutal transfer window, Sir Patrick Nolan heads to the City of London to seek new money from old friends. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Thomas Mitchells as Simon Napier-Fox Adam Jarrell as Chris Well Additional Voices: Joel Emery Nalan Burgess Jennifer Tierney Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 13 Feb 2023 | Episode 174 - Live and Let Liverpool | 00:33:47 | |
Liverpool FC are in town as Ashwood CIty play their first home game since the catastrophic transfer window. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Joel Emery as Dan Watson Additional Voices: Joel Emery Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 20 Feb 2023 | Episode 175 - Nude Awakening | 00:20:33 | |
A day in the life of Ashwood City is interrupted by a protestor, who aims his fury at Club Chairman Sir Patrick Nolan. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Additional Voices: Joel Emery Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 27 Feb 2023 | Episode 176 - Blind Tate | 00:22:25 | |
Ashwood City Chief Executive Jess Tate spends her 'day off' visiting both her doctor and an old acquaintance, who may know more about the future of the club than Jess does. Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Joel Emery as Dan Watson Lauren Ingram as Fiona Weed Additional Voices: Joel Emery Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 06 Mar 2023 | Episode 177 - The Great Escape | 00:27:23 | |
Stuck in traffic after the second leg of The Champions Fixture against PSG; Ashwood City Chief Executive Jess Tate questions Chairman Sir Patrick Nolan about rumours surrounding the future of the football club. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Additional Voices: Joel Emery Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 13 Mar 2023 | Episode 178 - Stranger than Fantasy | 00:21:42 | |
As the football world reacts to the BBC's treatment of Gary Lineker, Ashwood City have a social media issue of their own Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Joel Emery as Dan Watson Luke Stevenson as Gareth McAskill Additional Voices: Joel Emery Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 20 Mar 2023 | Episode 179 - The Stand Before Time | 00:21:33 | |
Ashwood City Football Club are hit by the news that the fabled iBET Stand has collapsed. The club hierarchy and local council clash over who's to blame. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Joel Emery as Dan Watson Additional Voices: Thomas Mitchells Natalie Green Nalan Burgess Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 03 Apr 2023 | Episode 180 - Uncivil War | 00:23:55 | |
Ashwood City clash with the local council over who's to blame for the collapse of the iBET stand. Meanwhile, Club Chairman Sir Patrick Nolan makes a momentous call on the club's future. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Matthew Malthouse as Tom Beattie Darcey Ferguson as Leanne Potter Natalie Green as Elaine Wright Additional Voices: Adam Jarrell Joel Emery Vanessa Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 10 Apr 2023 | Episode 181 - Risen from the Zoom | 00:20:10 | |
Ashwood City travel to The Emirates Stadium on Easter Weekend. Club Chairman Sir Patrick Nolan informs Chris 'Woody' Woodall and Colin Walsh of his Zoom meeting with the local council. Meanwhile, Administrator Tom Beattie has completed his dreaded 'Black Folder'. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Matthew Malthouse as Tom Beattie Natalie Green as Elaine Wright Chirstopher Swift as Reuben Thomas Additional Voices: Adam Jarrell Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 17 Apr 2023 | Episode 182 - All The Manager's Men | 00:30:20 | |
In the grips of a brutal CVA, further cuts are made and this time the coaching staff are targeted. Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall looks to offer a beleaguered Dan Watson all the help he can during a wobble in form as Patrick Nolan continues to distance himself from the crisis. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Matthew Malthouse as Tom Beattie Joel Emery as Dan Watson Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Holy Smokes Media Ltd. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 24 Apr 2023 | Episode 183 - Hove is where the Heart is | 00:23:51 | |
As the financial cuts deepen, Ashwood City are barely keeping the league form together at the most important stage of the season. Chief-Executive Jess Tate and Chairman Sir Patrick Nolan finally discuss the fallout from administration. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Matthew Malthouse as Tom Beattie Additional Voices: Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Holy Smokes Media Ltd. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 01 May 2023 | Episode 184 - Council Culture | 00:24:34 | |
Off the back of a 4-0 defeat to Manchester United, Ashwood City need a result on the pitch. Meanwhile, a decision by a local magistrate gives them a result off the pitch. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Matthew Malthouse as Tom Beattie Additional Voices: Joel Emery Thomas Mitchells Jemma Revell Lauren Hall Adam Jarrell Michael Lyons Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Holy Smokes Media Ltd. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 08 May 2023 | Episode 185 - Everton v Ashwood City | 00:25:16 | |
It's Matchday 37 in the Premier League and we join Peter Reynolds and Billy Richards for Everton v Ashwood City at Goodison Park. Voices by: Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Holy Smokes Media Ltd. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 15 May 2023 | Episode 186 - Full Time | 00:35:37 | |
Matchday 38 and just 90 minutes of football remain in the 2022/23 Premier League season as Ashwood City throw everything at survival. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Joel Emery as Dan Watson As themselves: Peter Drury Gary Lineker Alan Shearer Micah Richards Jules Breach Kate Mason Danny Jamieson Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell & Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell & Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Holy Smokes Media Ltd. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 22 May 2023 | Episode 187 - The Final Finale: Part 1 | 00:25:44 | |
Having been relegated from the Premier League, the season's proceedings come to a close. Including an outstanding Court of Appeal appearance for Sir Patrick Nolan and Ashwood City FC. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Matthew Malthouse as Tom Beattie Additional Voices: Harry Attwell Lauren Ingram Karim Kronfli George Still Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 29 May 2023 | Episode 188 - The Final Finale: Part 2 | 00:41:27 | |
The fate of the club and its staff hang in the balance as 5 years of mismanagement and greed come home to roost. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Joel Emery as Dan Watson Matthew Malthouse as Tom Beattie Additional Voices: Natalie Green Joel Emery Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Holy Smokes Media Ltd. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 29 May 2023 | Bonus: Episode 189 - Thanks for Listening | 00:42:35 | |
Behind the scenes for The Offensive finale. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||