The Newlywed Show (Grace Jensen)

One of the biggest adjustments for newlyweds is getting to know your new side of the family, especially the in-laws. Getting to know and building a relationship with “the in-laws” is often seen as a scary step, but it does not have to be! 

We have all heard that the key to any relationship is communication, but what do we need to talk about exactly when it comes to in-laws?

Grace Jensen, with her husband Zach, share their thoughts and journey on how to navigate this time of learning to build strong and healthy relationships with in-laws, with a focus on recognizing differences and seeing them as strengths (11:22), how to show love in a way that they will understand (19:40), and setting boundaries (22:15). 

Their insights are wonderfully helpful for all newlyweds looking for ways to best handle the task of getting along with in-laws.

Resources:

“The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman: https://www.5lovelanguages.com/book/the-5-love-languages/ 

With marriage comes physical intimacy, but when a spouse is dealing with the repercussions of sexual abuse, this can bring up triggers and difficulties. In this episode, Grace Jensen and Kelbie Sorensen (@kelbiebeesleysorensen) discuss past sexual abuse, how to find coping mechanisms, and how spouses can support each other in getting better.

Kelbie shares her story of healing from the trauma of sexual abuse through a life changing retreat, therapy, and the practices of awareness (47:20), acknowledgement (51:49), and surrender (52:40). 

Resources: https://youniquefoundation.org/the-haven-retreat/ 

You’re a newlywed, married to your best friend. After the honeymoon phase, you and your spouse are ready to make friends as a couple, but where to start? Grace and Zach, with their good friends Marley and Jarom Madsen talk about how they meet new people, how they became friends, and what that’s like as a duo.

Making friends as a couple can be a rich, fulfilling experience. It's like having a built in wingman (12:16)! But Marley points out that you don’t have to make all new friends after getting married (20:05), and it’s totally fine to have personal friends that you don’t necessarily “share” with your spouse. Setting clear boundaries and adjusting as needed is key to maintaining healthy relationships with your friends and spouse (30:17).

Did you know that there are actually four distinct phases of a woman’s menstrual cycle each month? Here are tips and tricks to use each phase to the fullest in your relationship--in the way you communicate, what activities you choose to do together, and, of course, sex. Because as How I Met Your Mother reminds us, “A woman’s sexuality is a moving target.” 

Resources:

-The Woman Code by Alisa Vitti
https://www.amazon.com/WomanCode-Perfect-Amplify-Fertility-Supercharge/dp/006213079X

-MyFlo app
https://myflotracker.com/

-Fertility Friday podcast
http://fertilityfriday.com/

Being newlyweds when you're both in school can be challenging because most of us weren't raised watching both of our parents manage the ebb and flow of being students and working at the same time. And sometimes we forget our spouse is just as busy as we are! Grace and Zach discuss their journey of figuring out how their household would function, how they both would pay for school (13:34), and finding the best balance of work, school, and spending time together. Sometimes when school gets demanding and intense, sacrifices have to be made. The key to making your marriage and household function well is communication and teamwork, as Grace and Zach elaborate on in this episode.

Get to know the people behind the voices you've been hearing for the past few weeks! Grace and Zach sit down to discuss the lighthearted story of their love story and tell more about their life. They tell the story of their friendship and love, over the course of several years, through college, friends, and serving church missions. Their story illustrates their genuine interest in each other as individuals, and the role of God in their lives. 

Grace may have been ready to marry Zach before Zach was ready to marry her, but after a few years they both came around and real love fought through!

Grace also talks about what the inspiration behind the podcast was and where her fascination with all things marriage and relationships came from.

This episode is part 1 of a 2-part series with Jaimee (@jaimeesmart) and Colton (@the.story.of.colton.smart) Smart. In this episode we talk about how they met and got married, how Colton's dad passed away when he was 14, and how that impacted their dating relationship and marriage. Colton talks about what it was like for his family and how Jaimee supports him, and Jaimee talks about what it was like coming into a family where she never had an opportunity to get to know Colton's dad. They discuss how to be comfortable feeling uncomfortable emotions, and how that affects their relationship (23:30). Jaimee expounds on how she interacts with Colton when the anniversary of his father’s death or his father’s birthday comes up (27:42), with a focus on the importance of respecting what he needs exactly, and letting him feel what he needs to.

This episode is the second part to last week's episode, a continuation of the discussion of what to do when a spouse loses and parent, and how to help your spouse.  In January of 2018, Jaimee's dad suddenly got sick and passed away.

As soon as Jaimee’s father passed away, she and her sisters were bombarded with decisions to make in regards to funeral homes, burial preferences, etc (14:53), leaving them with no time to grieve. Jaimee had no idea what to ask from Colton, her husband (17:08). But Colton, instead of asking Jaimee what she needed, simply showed up and was there for her, no questions. 

This episodes again reinforces the importance of respecting your spouse’s feelings, as it was Colton’s “turn” to be there for Jaimee. Being there for your spouse in the little things is essential, as Colton states (40:10).

Grace Jensen and her husband Zach discuss both the helpful conversations to have before having sex for the first time as well as things to keep in mind as you are further figuring out your sexual relationship together. They start by suggesting helpful conversations to have about your sexual conditioning and what the meaning of sex will be in your marriage, and then give more practical advice for the wedding night and honeymoon.

They then cover how and when to have productive conversations about sex and important biological differences between men and women (Even some ones that will probably surprise you!). Considerations to make concerning sex during different phases of a woman's menstrual cycle and when trying to have a baby are also briefly covered.

Resources:
https://coconu.com/
https://www.amazon.com/Slippery-Stuff-Personal-Lubricant-Soluble/dp/B00009Q95R

Jaimee Smart (from episodes 7 and 8 on grief) returns to discuss mental health with Grace Jensen. Jaimee discovered through experience that once one partner comes into a marriage with mental illness, the illness becomes a part of both partners’ stories. Open, non-judgemental communication is key to helping the ill partner. You may be able to create game plans together to combat the mental illness that one spouse on their own wouldn’t have been able to see. Both partners need outside support when there is mental illness in a marriage, such as support groups, therapists, or trusted friends.

Grace and Jaimee then turn to talking about mental illness in extended family. Jaimee shares how controlling behavior is often an indicator of mental illness in parents. The pair discusses the importance of communicating boundaries and always being on your spouse’s team, as well as the benefits of medication. They end by reminding the listener that being mentally ill does not equal being broken. Asking for help or just talking about your mental illness could be life-changing, for you and for someone else.

World-renowned couples therapist Dr. Scott Woolley joins his daughter Grace Jensen to explain the science behind falling in and out of love. Simply put, love is fueled by emotional vulnerability being seen, accepted, and reciprocated. (6:10) Because emotional safety is essential to love, being able to repair emotional wounds is vital for a continued loving relationship. (13:18) Dr. Woolley and Grace discuss the process of digging deeper, pausing to gain perspective, and how emotional perspective is crucial to healing these hurts.Typical conflict styles are described starting at 20:10. “Hold Me Tight” by Dr. Sue Johnson is highly recommended, along with her online program, which can be found here. Dr. Woolley then shares “the secret to a happy marriage” when Grace asks him what he thinks of the mantra that communication is everything. (44:55)

Get Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson here.

Get Love Sense by Dr. Sue Johnson here.

Huge thank you to our sponsors for this episode!

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The magnetic Dr. Debi Gilmore joins Grace Jensen for an episode packed with tools for building and maintaining bonds. 

We first hear about how Dr. Gilmore’s passion for sharing the truth of attachment theory inspired her to create and teach a groundbreaking workshop called “Building a Lasting Connection”. It has been perfected over the last decade and targets couples in all stages. Participants learn interactively and bond intensely over the course of two days. Register for a workshop or request a workshop be created at buildingalastingconnection.com. You can also visit them on Instagram @buildingalastingconnection.

Grace then takes us back to talking about how attachment theory applies to adults. (14:35) Dr. Gilmore reviews different attachment styles and explains where they come from. (19:00) The two discuss the complexities of communication, as it’s the first step to fulfilling the (marvelously universal) need of connection. (28:00) 

Next, Dr. Gilmore teaches Grace the Four Mantras of Love, key concepts to communicate to your partner in order to sustain and strengthen your bond. (32:30) These mantras form the base of a pyramid that will be covered over this and the next episode. The second layer is “the mat,” a tool for slowing and deepening communication. (42:00) Each ring on the physical mat represents a different topic for each partner to share as they physically step on it and move further inward. 

This episode is filled with lines you’ll want to write down as quotes and tools you and your partner want to have as soon as possible! Visit our sponsors’ websites below to grab their cute, classy items while helping support this show. 

Alice Loves Clothes: aliceshootspeople.com/shop - code “Newlywed Show” for 10% discount

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Though unrelated to today’s topic, Grace mentions and highly recommends the book “The Moment of Lift: How Empowering Women Changes the World” by Melinda Gates.

Dr. Rebecca Jorgensen, a psychologist of over 30 years, joins Grace Jensen to complete this two part series on building a lasting connection. She shares some of her experiences in sharing the principles of attachment theory and Emotionally Focused Therapy across vastly different cultures. (3:55) Dr. Jorgensen co-founded Building a Lasting Connection, the couples’ workshop described in Episode 12 with Dr. Debi Gilmore. Today Grace and Dr. Jorgensen cover the last three modules in the workshop’s program.

After Attachment and Communication, the third module is about Managing Differences. (14:05) Grace brings up the sensitive topic of whether irreconcilable differences actually exist (20:30), and Dr. Jorgensen reflects on the body’s incredible sensitivity to danger, whether physical or emotional. (24:30)

Fourth is Physical Connection. (42:00) This is not just about sex; non-sexual affection is extremely important for optimum human health. (44:55) Dr. Jorgensen and Grace agree that gaining more biological and scientific education on sex can help each partner feel more secure and be more responsive to each other in the relationship. (47:05)

The last module is Goals, which is about creating a safe interdependency, supporting each other in development as individuals and as a couple, and balancing those three areas. (55:45) Dr. Jorgensen explains the importance and positive impact of relational rituals and traditions. (58:30) Lastly, she reviews how the Building a Lasting Connection program provides couples with a format for effectively discussing and creating goals. (64:05)

Attending a session of the Building a Lasting Connection workshop would be an incredibly meaningful and lasting gift to your spouse. Two are still left this year! (9:25) Visit buildingalastingconnection.com for more information. They also have a Facebook page Building a Lasting Connections and you can find them on Instagram @buildingalastingconnection .

Huge thank you to our sponsors!

Shop Little Honey: shoplittlehoney.com - code “Newlywed Show” for 50% off your entire order! You can also find monthly giveaways on their Instagram @shoplittlehoney

Pretties by Courtney: prettiesbycourtney.com - feel fabulous getting their darling hair scarves and scrunchies for a 40% discount. (Code: “Newlywed Show”)

Zach Jensen and his parents Robin and Jan join Grace to share wisdom from thirty-eight years of marriage. They have a tradition of giving their kids a talk at three different points in their lives. Today we hear what they share in Talk #2, which is about traits important to maintaining a good marriage. 

The first one is loyalty. Jan tells the story of how she learned to be loyal to Robin in the way she talks to and about him. (14:10) Grace follows up with discussing how to be loyal to one’s spouse while being able to go to outside people to help work through issues. (16:45)

Robin next covers friendship and positive communication. (22:00) Friendship in marriage takes nurturing, and it gives you a foundation for difficult times. The attentiveness, kindness, and generosity shown initially should not deteriorate in marriage, and is due just as much to our family members as strangers. (23:45) 

The third section encourages couples to serve others, take the higher road, be aware of compromise, rationalization, and self-justification, and teach your children kindness and humility through example. (26:50)

Mutual support is incredibly important to a marriage, meaning that you have each other’s backs. (34:30) Make what is important to your partner important to you. (35:20) The couples finish up by discussing more ways on how to support and communicate. 

This podcast wouldn’t be possible without our wonderful sponsors:

Alice Loves Clothes: aliceshootspeople.com/shop - code “Newlywed Show” for 10% discount

Shop Little Honey: shoplittlehoney.com - code “Newlywed Show” for 50% off your entire order! You can also find monthly giveaways on their Instagram @shoplittlehoney

Carolina Schubert joins Grace Jensen to give tips on living with in-laws. She is both a marriage coach with various certifications and has lived with her in-laws for the past two years. 

Carolina recommends newlyweds wait a little bit before moving in with parents in order to establish their marital relationship. She lists important factors to include when considering moving into or out of an in-laws’ house. Grace and Carolina agree that clear expectations are a must, especially on privacy, time, and responsibilities. They also talk about what to do when expectations are not met.

Finally, they discuss Grace’s particular questions around her prospective living situation with her in-laws. We’re reminded that moving out of your in-laws won’t fix any marital struggles you may have; your mindset is a make-it-or-break-it part of your experience. 

The episode ends with Carolina’s heart-encouragement to all couples who live with their in-laws at least once. You can find Carolina at carolinaschubert.com and @carolina_shchubert on Instagram. 

Thank you so much to our sponsors Building a Lasting Connection and Pretties by Courtney! Visit them at buildingalastingconnection.com and prettiesbycourtney.com.

Today’s episode features Meghan and Mickayeen Farner, joining Grace and Zach to share wisdom they’ve learned about reconciling differences between processes, how each spouse naturally moves through life. Meghan is a go-getter Type A personality and Mickayeen is more laid back and focused on the fun. (7:55) 

First, they share the differences between pushing your spouse and pulling your spouse (10:40), and then spend a while talking about—simply put—setting expectations. (13:00) Mickayeen and Megan share how they’ve each learned to be conscious of when they’re the problem rather than their spouse. (19:50) 

Next, the two couples discuss how to best approach letting your spouse know you need something to change and how to have the conversation itself. (26:20) As an example of the humility marriage can require, Mickayeen shares an experience in which he sacrificed something he dearly loves for his family. (36:45) 

The importance of identifying and being aware of each partner’s strengths is also acknowledged. (52:25) (Gallup’s Strengths Finder can be found here: https://www.gallupstrengthscenter.com/home/en-us/strengthsfinder) That topic was raised while discussing the importance of playing the game of life with the mindset of having your spouse on your team, rather than being the enemy. (51:50 and again at 72:15, which is where the interview finishes off.) 

And this episode has bloopers at the very end!

This episode was sponsored by the “Building a Lasting Connection” workshop described in episodes 12 and 13! It is coming to Salt Lake City, UT on September 6 and 7 of this year and there are STILL spots available. Grab your tickets at https://www.buildingalastingconnection.com/ to learn from the creators themselves. Prepare to have an amazing, empowering, and connecting experience with your partner!

Alice Parkinson’s cute and classy clothing boutique also helps make this podcast possible. Don’t forget to check it out aliceshootspeople.com/shop and use the code “NEWLYWEDSHOW” for 10% off.

Dr. Scott Woolley, a marriage therapist who specializes in affairs, comes back onto the show to discuss the role the online world now plays in affairs and how to protect your marriage. He first explains what emotional affairs are (6:45) and the importance of setting up expectations and boundaries with your partner. (9:05) Grace then asks what motivates people to have affairs. (22:00) She mentions the podcast “Whine Down with Jana Kramer and Michael Caussin”, which can be found here: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/1119-whine-down-w-jana-kramer-29262403/episode/connecting-love-sex-30735819/. The book Dr. Woolley recommends, “Not ‘Just Friends’”, is by Shirley Glass and can be found on Amazon and Audible. 

The two then turn to how social media and dating apps affect marriages. (31:00) One example is that it’s much easier for people to look at other couples and be envious and unsatisfied, which isn’t productive or even based in reality. Grace quotes Brannon Patrick with advice on how to combat that: “If you want a healthy relationship then you need to grieve the loss of the marriage you think you SHOULD have and step into the one that you are in." 

Their next topic is the differences in what men and women view as being unfaithful, and why those are. (41:35) The cited study can be found here at Deseret News: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.deseretnews.com/article/900081779/millennials-and-gen-x-see-infidelity-differently-from-their-elders-heres-how-it-could-impact-their-relationships.amp.

Dr. Woolley then gives his closing thoughts and advice. (50:20) Grace mentions a movie that gives a clear example of an emotional affair. If watching that play out on screen would be helpful to your understanding, you can find it at https://www.amazon.com/gp/video/detail/B008Y6UTBM.

This episode was sponsored by the “Building a Lasting Connection” workshop described in episodes 12 and 13. It is coming to Salt Lake City, UT on September 6 and 7 of this year and there are STILL spots available! Grab your tickets at https://www.buildingalastingconnection.com/ to learn from the creators themselves. Prepare to have an amazing, empowering, and connecting experience with your partner!

Shop Little Honey also helps make this podcast possible. Find their handmade, one-size-fits-all baby bows at shoplittlehoney.com and get a 50% discount using code “NEWLYWEDSHOW”.

Grace and Zach Jensen sit down to give advice to any couples who may struggle during family vacations. (That is, if there are any but themselves--please let them know they’re not alone!)

Tip number one is to not take a vacation from preparation for your vacation; be sure to sit down before leaving, and review expectations and ways to support each other. (3:10) Grace and Zach each share more specific ways to prepare that they have found personally helpful. (3:55) 

Next on the list is how to make sure it’s a vacation for both of you. (10:00) Both spouses describe what vacation means to them and how they’ve adjusted to ensure both enjoy themselves. Remember, your love buckets remaining filled significantly decreases the chances of tension and fighting. Grace and Zach are strong believers in making time specifically for each other--vacationing with your spouse as well as your family. (17:55) Over all, as Zach wisely puts it, making the happiness of your spouse a priority helps make you happier and promotes security and love in your relationship. (20:25) If you find fights happening regularly, as Grace and Zach once did, identify the pattern and sources. (22:35)

The show’s host then introduces something new: a game! Grace and Zach play Would You Rather: Disaster Wedding Edition, and have a blast. (25:00) Again, they’d love to hear your opinions, ideas for more games, and any crazy stories you have!*

*You can reach Grace and Zach through email: thenewlywedshow@gmail.com, through DM on Instagram: @thenewlywedshow, or Grace specifically on her Instagram: @gracewjensen. 

Alice Parkinson’s cute and classy clothing boutique helps make this podcast possible. Don’t forget to check it out at aliceshootspeople.com/shop and use the code “NEWLYWEDSHOW” for 10% off.

Lastly, it would mean a lot to Grace if you showed your support for the show by sharing it with friends, following it on Instagram, or giving it a quick rating on iTunes. Thank you!

Grace’s friend Ali Crane sits down to share the tea on military life and long-distance marriage. Her husband of one year, Jaden, is a chaplain’s assistant in the National Guard and studying to become a psychologist for the army. (4:45)

Ali talks through their experiences, from having only four months together to start their marriage (14:00) to spending 17 weeks apart (19:00) to adjusting back to married life. She shares tips on how to best prepare for separation and how to take care of oneself as a separated spouse. (24:30) For the nitty-gritty of her hard-earned advice, listen to the episode. 

This podcast is supported by the darling store Shop Little Honey. Get a whopping 50% off your entire order by using code “NEWLYWEDSHOW” on shoplittlehoney.com. Monthly giveaways can be found on their Instagram @shoplittlehoney

Alice Parkinson’s cute and classy clothing boutique also helps make this podcast possible. Don’t forget to check it out at aliceshootspeople.com/shop and use the code “NEWLYWEDSHOW” for 10% off her already fair prices.

Despite technical difficulties, Grace and Zach sit down to discuss a topic they wish they’d had more information on early in marriage--goal-setting. To start off, they discuss the challenges and benefits of trying to do this within a marriage. (1:40) 

Next, they cover different styles people can have in setting goals, working on them, and being motivated to accomplish them. (6:30) Figuring out that these differences exist and what they are was super important for Grace and Zach! A helpful framework they now use is a system created by best-selling author and podcaster Gretchen Rubin. Her book “The Four Tendencies” can be found on Amazon and Audible, and the free quiz to find out your Tendency is here: https://quiz.gretchenrubin.com Grace and Zach describe each Tendency: Upholder (9:20), Obliger (10:20), Questioner (11:00), and Rebel (13:30). 

After talking about how each spouse helps the other in accomplishing goals (15:15), Grace and Zach move to practical tips. They share a system they created together early in their marriage, which equated goals met to spending money. (25:45) Grace reviews how habits formed early in marriage affect the goals you and your spouse have for your lives and family. (30:20) They talk about food, fitness (35:45), finances (42:30), roles/dreams (46:00), generosity (49:55), and religion (51:15). 

Finally, Grace and Zach remind us why intentional goal-setting is crucial to a healthy marriage and why healthy marriages are important for society. They thank you, the listener, for learning with and from them, and for working to make this world a better place. Rating this podcast, following it on Instagram (@thenewlywedshow), or sharing with friends would be deeply appreciated!

Today’s episode brings Grace and Zach’s practical advice on handling a situation any couple may find themselves in at any time. 

After giving background on their situation and experience (2:45), Grace and Zach share tips and tricks on how to accommodate dietary needs in one’s own home (8:05). They cover a variety of areas, including convenience, cost, attitude, and inspiration. As promised, access Grace’s favorite gluten-free and dairy-free foods here.  The foodies she mentions are Ashlynn Mitchell (@mamabear.fitness) and Danielle Walker (@daniellewalker).

Next, the couple talks about how to approach people outside of the home—particularly extended family—on your dietary needs. (21:35) It’s important to note that honoring your host’s efforts to support you through vocal gratitude makes a huge difference. (23:25)

Eating out with dietary restrictions requires the same process for a spouse as for someone single. (26:35) The spouse without restrictions is reminded that they are allowed to treat themselves to restaurants unfriendly to their partner’s requirements. (28:25)

Lastly, Grace reminds us to be aware of our mental and emotional relationship with food. (31:40) You don’t need to eat a food just because it’s in front of you. 

To wrap up the episode, our hosts then give us a little life update! (34:00) Zach could use contacts at Northrop Grumman in San Diego, and cute Jackie videos can be found on her mama’s Instagram @gracewjensen

To help this podcast continue and grow, please follow it on Instagram @thenewlywedshow, comment, share with friends—anything helps. And don’t forget to check out Pretties by Courtney at prettiesbycourtney.com and @prettiesbycourtney to get 40% off anything with code “newlywedshow”. Thank you for your support!

Zach hosts the show today, interviewing Josh and Kaitlyn Jensen on being in a marriage where one has been married before. Josh shares their first date(s) story (1:10) and Kaitlyn gives the timeline of her previous marriage (8:00). She describes the growth she experienced between her divorce and meeting Josh (9:50). 

They discuss how Kaitlyn’s divorce affected her and Josh while dating (17:50) and wedding-planning (22:30). Kaitlyn was conscious not to let the memory of her ex-husband taint things she still enjoys, and to be clear with her fiancé about her emotions and what was important to her. 

Next, Kaitlyn and Josh give advice on how to approach sex when one is a virgin and one is not (30:55). Then they talk about navigating the mention of her previous marriage, with each other (35:05) and family (41:45). Josh and Kaitlyn finish off the show with the heartfelt advice to avoid comparison and focus on your current relationship and love (49:40).

Thank you for listening to this podcast! Sharing it with a friend or leaving a quick review on iTunes would be deeply appreciated—it spreads the word and keeps this show going. 

You can also support the podcast by stealing quality, trendy, comfy clothes with a 10% coupon. Check out with code “newlywedshow” at https://www.aliceshootspeople.com/shop/ You can access more discounts and giveaways by joining the shop’s Facebook page, Alice Loves Clothes. 

Jake Vause joins Grace today to discuss an unusual but well informed financial philosophy. After sharing his background in finances, they start off by looking at the effect social media is having on today’s financial culture. They note the role that differences in location and generation play (6:00), and why money is a socially taboo topic (13:40).

Next Jake explains loans (21:00) and “good” and “bad” credit (24:30). He leads us through specific scenarios to help us see how going into debt on smaller items helps us to not get stuck with huge debt on bigger items. (26:40)

Finally, we learn how credit scores actually works (38:40) and get a step by step guide to building credit (50:00). The three talk about being financially harmonious in marriage (63:45), and Jake gives us his closing thoughts (67:00).

Thank you for listening to this podcast! Sharing it with a friend or leaving a quick review on iTunes would be deeply appreciated—it spreads the word and keeps this show going. 

You can also support the podcast by snatching up quality, trendy, comfy clothes with a 10% coupon. Check out with code “newlywedshow” at https://www.aliceshootspeople.com/shop/ You can access more discounts and giveaways by joining the shop’s Facebook page, Alice Loves Clothes. 

Marley and Jarom Madsen return to the show to give their perspectives on how divorced parents can affect marriage. Marley’s parents divorced when she was five, and continued to struggle communicating and interacting with each other throughout her childhood (10:00). We’re reminded that a pair having a bad relationship does not make them bad individuals (12:10).

Marley recalls what dating was like for her (13:15), and then she and her husband describe her parents’ relationship today (17:15). They discuss how Jarom has been able to help the situation (23:25). Managing holidays are then discussed (31:50).

Next, Jarom and Marley open up about how the family divorce affects their relationship (40:00). Marley identifies her experiences as trauma for the first time (49:00). Jarom then describes how his mindset on divorce has changed (53:00). In closing, Marley shares how she went from seeing herself as incapable of healthy relationships to this loving marriage (58:00).

To keep up with the podcast, follow it on Instagram @thenewlywedshow. To show support, share with a friend or give a rating on iTunes. These small actions would make a big difference. Thank you!

Jason and Lauren Jensen join Grace and Zach to share experiences and advice on having full schedules while maintaining a good relationship. Jason is in medical school and Lauren is a new mother, among other things. They first dated long distance (5:15), which helped them know how to respect each other’s schedules, prioritize, and connect without being physically present (12:30). 

Lauren speaks of the need to find new purpose as life’s circumstances change (17:30). Jason notes the importance of crystal clear expectations and continuing to gauge how each person (and their expectations) change (27:50). Lauren acknowledges the difficulty of this kind of marriage (33:15) and validates emoting (36:45). 

Detailed, advanced planning is essential to balancing each spouse’s obligations, expectations, and needs (56:00). Lauren and Jason find technology extremely helpful in staying intentionally connected (58:40). 

The conversation takes a break here, to be continued on the show’s next episode.

Thank you so much to Shop Little Honey for sponsoring this episode! Don't forget to use code NEWLYWEDSHOW at www.shoplittlehoney.com for 50% off your first purchase!

This episode is the sequel to Grace and Zach’s discussion with Jason and Lauren Jensen on keeping up a strong marriage during a busy life. 

Jason and Lauren find technology priceless, using texting to stay connected and Marco Polo to share little moments (3:10). Lauren has learned how to celebrate and creatively take advantage of time they have together rather than bemoaning time they don’t have. (4:30). 

The two share ways they include Jason in their child’s life (5:50) and how they stay flexible and responsive to each other’s needs (6:40). Kind, humble communication is all the more important when you don’t have much time together (9:30). The difference between arguing and talking is clarified (15:20) and the importance of service is discussed (19:00). Jason and Lauren share the pivotal concept that each person’s effort at 100% looks different at different times (20:00).

The couple shares what they went through during Jason’s residency, including the death of Lauren’s brother Jeff. (23:00) Communicating his priorities to his work, Jason was completely there for Lauren (25:50). They then talk about moving to a new place (again) and exactly how Lauren quickly created a community of friends for herself (31:00). 

Moving on to after their daughter was born, Jason shares his pain over missed time with Holly and his strategies on how to stay connected (33:30.) One strategy for strengthening family ties is taking “mini vacations,” going out of the house on days off and making memories (36:20). Jason confesses feelings of jealousy towards Lauren and describes how he deals with that (39:30). Love in action, communication, and intention are essentials for the busy couple. 

Thank you for listening to this podcast! Sharing it with a friend or leaving a quick review on iTunes would be deeply appreciated—it spreads the word and keeps this show going. Follow on Instagram @thenewlywedshow and Grace Jensen @gracewjensen. She would love to hear from you!

You can also listen to this episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or TuneIn.

Chelsea Peterson, a marriage and family therapist and owner of Cache Valley Counseling, joins Grace to discuss a long-awaited topic: how to understand and maneuver different levels of desire in the bedroom.

Mrs. Peterson explains that partners differ in sexual desire far more often than not and that which partner is which can change (8:30). She then dives into the patterns that can arise when this situation is not handled well (12:05) and where the patterns can come from (18:20). (That’s when Good Girl Syndrome is explained.) Thankfully, Mrs. Peterson takes us through how to retrain our brains (31:00). 

The brake/gas pedal analogy is helpful in identifying what triggers changes in the bedroom (42:15). After the host and her guest go down a bunny trail about sex and  nursing (46:15), Mrs. Peterson helps us lessen judgement around sexual preferences (51:15). Grace reminds us of the long term nature of the sex game and the motivation behind working hard now (57:00). Next, Mrs. Peterson discusses how to maneuver life as a high-desire partner (60:25). In closing, Grace and Mrs. Peterson clarify that no one needs sex, but everyone needs emotional connection (82:45). 

Recommended resources on sex (the anatomy and relational sides) are as follows: 

Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski (on Amazon here)

And It Was Very Good by Our Earthly Parents (on Amazon here or email Chelsea at info@cvcounselingservices.com for a free PDF)

Attached by Amir Levine (on Amazon here)

Passionate Marriage by David Schnarch (on Amazon here)

“The Intimacy Podcast” with Rhonda Farr (link to Apple podcasts here)

 Instagram accounts:

@kristinbhodson (website here)

@finalysonfife (website here)

@marriagelaboratory (website here). 

Thank you for listening to this podcast! Sharing it with a friend or leaving a quick review on iTunes would be deeply appreciated—it spreads the word and keeps this show going. Follow on Instagram @thenewlywedshow and Grace Jensen @gracewjensen. She would love to hear from you! And a HUGE thank you to Cache Valley Counseling Services for connecting Grace with their therapists to bring information to you! You can reach them at https://www.cvcounselingservices.com/.

You can also support the podcast by snatching up quality, trendy, comfy clothes with a 10% coupon. Check out with code “newlywedshow” at https://www.aliceshootspeople.com/shop/ You can access more discounts and giveaways by joining the shop’s Facebook page, Alice Loves Clothes. 

Dr. John Brailsford, therapist of twenty years, comes onto the show to discuss how unhealthy relationship dynamics often form when a spouse is struggling with pornography and how to replace them with healthy dynamics. They start off by discussing the different reasons why men and women can become involved in pornography (14:10). Grace suggests that pornography use is a spectrum, to which Dr. Brailsford agrees (18:40). For more information on why pornography can be damaging, check out https://fightthenewdrug.org/.

He then describes the typical reaction of a spouse discovering their partner’s pornography use (28:50), and shares that this reaction is the biggest indicator of the relationship’s proceeding health (32:30). Simply put, for the benefit of everyone, compassion is key (33:50). During this discussion Grace mentions The Betrayed, the Addicted, and the Expert podcast and ACT therapy, which introduced the idea to Grace of being a spouse in accordance with your values (44:00).

The two then focus on the response of the spouse discovered (47:30). Dr. Brailsford expounds upon the differences gender energies can make in this scenario (48:00). He then lists various triggers and factors in pornography use (59:40).

Next, Dr. Brailsford shares his recommendation on what to do now that both partners are aware of the addiction (64:00). They spend a significant amount of time detailing the mindset needed for healing and growth (67:00). His final message is that doing your best as an individual to heal your relationship is far more important than whether the relationship is saved in the end (78:40). And a HUGE thank you to Cache Valley Counseling Services for connecting Grace with their therapists to bring information to you! You can reach them at https://www.cvcounselingservices.com/.

Check out our sponsors for today’s episode: Shop Little Honey. This mom-run boutique has just introduced the latest thing the people want: a bow subscription! You can get a wide variety of fun, themed bows for just $12.99 a month. Check it out at https://www.shoplittlehoney.com/.

You can also support the podcast by snatching up quality, trendy, comfy clothes with a 10% coupon. Check out with code “newlywedshow” at https://www.aliceshootspeople.com/shop/ You can access more discounts and giveaways by joining the shop’s Facebook page, Alice Loves Clothes.

Another way to support this podcast is to follow it on Instagram @thenewlywedshow. Sharing an episode with a friend or leaving a quick review on iTunes would also be appreciated—it spreads the word and keeps this show going. Thank you!

The founders of Centsei Financial Mikayla and Dan Ockey come onto the show to give tips on finding cohesion in finances as a couple. Before diving in, they relate the extraordinary tale of their meeting and courtship (1:45).

The two share their financial journey. While Mikayla grew up as a moderate spender and consistent saver (15:15), Dan spent extravagantly in college, amassing considerable debt in an astoundingly short period of time (16:50). Once married, they realized they needed to figure out a mutually agreeable plan (21:30). The process of figuring this out inspired Dan and Mikayla to create their current business, a third party to help collaborate different financial values and goals between couples. Unlike most of the financial world, they account for the emotion behind money, especially in regards to marriage (27:00). Once the newlyweds set up a plan, Dan and Mikayla were debt-free within six months. (32:30). They list everything they did to achieve that, and explain the perspective that made it possible (34:15).

Next, Mikayla and Dan describe who Centsei Financial is for and how it started (46:10). The program on budgeting comes in the form of short videos divided into ten modules, so not a big time commitment (54:10). They also offer a course on investing. 

Grace asks more about how to budget successfully, and the CAP method is explained (57:30). The tracking app Mint is highly recommended as part of that. Dan also reveals how budgeting is not about managing your money (65:10). They emphasize keeping perspective; no phase of financial planning or marriage lasts forever. Time will pass, and you will be more than okay.

Check out Dan and Mikayla’s courses at centseifinancial.com and @centseifinancial on Instagram. If you enjoyed this episode, it would be deeply appreciated if you helped others find the podcast, by doing something as quick and easy as texting it to a friend or rating the show on iTunes. Connect with the podcast on Instagram @thenewlywedshow or personally with Grace @gracewjensen. 

Your host has created the podcast listener’s dream resource! Every product recommended during the Newlywed Show can now be found in one place: https://www.amazon.com/shop/gracewjensen It’s clearly organized by topic and kept up to date. Enjoy!

Grace’s guest today is BeckyLynn Spotten, a therapist specializing in trauma. BeckyLynn first defines trauma, and explains how it’s linked to our core beliefs about life and who we are (6:10). She uses an analogy to show why and how trauma continually affects us (8:10). She lists its many, varied symptoms (12:00). Grace encourages us to recognize trauma within ourselves, despite how uncomfortable or scary it can be (16:15). BeckyLynn invites us to explore our past with compassion and curiosity. 

Next, our expert talks about what trauma can look like within marriage (18:30). Interestingly enough, we often remake childhood patterns in marriage (22:30). BeckyLynn also covers ways that trauma can cause marital discord (26:30).

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is an old but only newly accepted and scientifically supported form of therapy to help retrain the brain and heal trauma. BeckyLynn uses EMDR in her practice and explains exactly what it is and how it helps clients (30:00). Our host Grace is a benefactor from EMDR therapy herself. 

Finally, BeckyLynn answers how to stay healthy and helpful when you’re the spouse watching your partner relive trauma (42:10). This episode is a reminder that while trauma may be present in your marriage, you have so many tools to fix it. You are wounded, not defective. Remember compassion and curiosity. 

If you found this episode helpful, help others find the podcast. It can be as quick and easy as texting it to a friend or rating the show on iTunes. Connect with the podcast on Instagram @thenewlywedshow or personally with Grace @gracewjensen. And a HUGE thank you to Cache Valley Counseling Services for connecting Grace with their therapists to bring information to you! You can reach them at https://www.cvcounselingservices.com/.

Check out today’s sponsor: Alice Loves Clothes, a quality-focused, fairly-priced boutique from a stunning successful photographer. Check out with code “newlywedshow” for an extra 10% off at https://www.aliceshootspeople.com/shop/ You can access more discounts and giveaways by joining the shop’s Facebook page, Alice Loves Clothes. 

In case you haven’t heard, your host has created the podcast listener’s dream resource! Every product recommended during the Newlywed Show can now be found in one place: https://www.amazon.com/shop/gracewjensen It’s clearly organized by topic and kept up to date. Enjoy!

Grace and Zach settle down to have a conversation about serving as a couple and handling body image on Thanksgiving. They first talk about how serving together benefits your relationship. It’s a valuable gateway to meaningful connection (9:00), and prompts gratitude and humility (15:20). 

Then, they share a daily service opportunity provided by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in the month of December (18:30). Details can be found at lighttheworld.org. Justserve.org is also a fantastic resource and highly recommended. Grace talks about “giving machines,” which are part of the Light the World initiative (22:25). Their locations are listed at here. She reminds us to not feel guilty if scripted service is one thing too many to put on the calendar this year (25:00). 

Grace next speaks to individuals with anxiety around Thanksgiving, specifically in relation to food (33:00). Her first piece of advice is to prepare a grounding, warm, grateful thought to come back to in moments of rising anxiety (34:30). Grace speaks of a common mindset to avoid, reminding us that our amazing existence should not be defined by a calculator (38:15). Eat like we normally would on Thanksgiving Day (40:10). Our number one priority on Thanksgiving Day and every day should be to be kind to ourselves; food will come and food will go, but we always live with ourselves (41:40). Grace gives advice on how to handle triggering table talk (50:15), and ends with the powerful reassurance that not every Thanksgiving has to be like this (51:20).

If you connected with anything in this episode, please help share the podcast by rating it on iTunes or texting a screenshot of the episode to a friend. Grace deeply appreciates your vulnerability and support. Remember to check the show out at Instagram @thenewlywedshow and stay connected with Grace personally @gracewjensen

The booming business Shop Little Honey is still a staunch supporter of our show. And they’re having a Black Friday sale! This includes their monthly subscription and much more. Find darling presents for the youngin’s in your life at @shoplittlehoney or shoplittlehoney.com

You can also listen to this episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or TuneIn.

Grace and Zach are back, with tips on how to handle holiday traditions, balance family time, and keeping the gifts inexpensive but meaningful. They kick off the episode with a new segment called “We’re in it With You,” a time to describe a recent experiences in their marriage--either positive and negative--to let you know you’re not alone (2:30). 

The two then tackle the complex topic of how to share holidays between families (13:45). Grace and Zach focus on Thanksgiving and Christmas, but the principles can apply to all holidays. Think through the year and decide which holidays you as a couple think are the most important to spend with family. 

When both sides of the family live near each other, determine what aspects or traditions of the holiday are the most meaningful to each of you (15:50). Is Christmas Eve really important to one part of the family? Is time together on Christmas morning more important to another part of the family? Decide as a couple how to divide your time and energies. Next, determine how much your family willing to work with you (18:00). Communicate with all parties so plans and expectations are clear. You may need to experiment year by year until you find a system that seems to work best. Finally, our hosts remind us to reserve time for relaxing and being on vacation (21:45). You might need to say no to some activities.  As Brene Brown says, “Choose discomfort over resentment.” For more tips on how to create time together as a couple while on vacation with family, see episode 18 here.

Grace and Zach then discuss how to handle holidays when your families live far apart from each other (24:30). They acknowledge that the first several years of not being with your nuclear family might be hard. Hang in there—you’ll discover traditions and relationships with your spouse’s family that you’ll look forward to. Be patient with yourselves and other family members. Grace and Zach encourage using technology! (26:15) Skype, call, text with family not in the area--but do so in ways that show respect to the hosting family. Our hosts encourage the mindset of using the time with your spouse’s family to learn about and better understand your spouse (27:00). Reserve judgement on traditions that seem odd to one spouse (27:40), and be open to contributing a tradition of your own to your spouse’s holiday experience. 

Next, Grace and Zach talk about how to develop your own traditions (30:20). They throw out ideas for how to make cheap, newly-wed versions of things like Christmas trees and lights (32:00). Creating traditions with friends can also be fun, such as hosting a graham cracker house contest (35:55). Grace and Zach have started writing letters to each other and to Jesus each Christmas (37:15). The goal is to create traditions focusing on meaning rather than money (39:00).

The next topic is how to buy gifts for everyone in your life on a tight budget (39:45). The first tip is to use credit card points (41:20). Grace is a strong advocate for starting to shop early in the year and going for the meaningful gifts (43:00). Utilize your resources, like using the tools provided by your university or tapping into the talents and knowledge of friends. Another tip is to tag-team the shopping, you know, since there are two of you (50:50). Lastly, consider combining holiday gifts if it allows you to give a more expensive present (52:40).

The two end with a thought from each. Zach encourages a spirit of love and forgiveness during the holiday season (56:15), and Grace speaks to those who’ve had difficult experiences with Christmas (57:15). If you have a challenging relationship with your in-laws, DM Grace before Friday, December 6th to get your questions answered in next week’s episode. 

Couples therapist Dr. Scott Woolley returns to the show to discuss how to deal with intrusive in-laws. The interview is preluded by Grace and Zach’s new segment “We’re In It With Ya” (1:20). They analyze their communication skills during a vulnerable and sensitive situation (8:20). Grace then shares Dr. Woolley’s credentials (12:05).

Grace’s first question is why some in-laws feel entitled to deep involvement in their children’s marriages and lives (15:30) Dr. Woolley’s answer includes the in-laws’ own experience with their in-laws (16:40) and insecurity (20:15).

The two then turn to how to navigate situations where the in-laws encroach upon the couple’s time (24:45). Dr. Woolley recommends that the biological child of the in-laws does the talking when approaching their parents (25:15).  He also talks about what to do when only one spouse feels the in-laws’ behavior is unacceptable (27:05). A common trap is debating what is “normal,” when what really matters is how the behavior feels—does it feel respectful or disrespectful? (30:00) Relating to that, Dr. Woolley identifies a key question that drives most marital disputes (32:15). He also spends some time talking about the importance of being aware of cultural differences (36:10).

Next, in-laws intruding into the home is discussed (40:00). The nuances of how to talk to the in-laws are traversed again. Grace and Dr. Woolley then turn to dealing with in-laws whose opinions feel intrusive and controlling (45:05). After outlining strategies, he reminds us to keep perspective (53:30). Finally, Grace presents the situation of an in-law breaking boundaries that were set up for safety reasons (58:00). Dr. Woolley ends the episode with a message of hope (63:15).

Thank you for listening to this episode of the Newlywed Show! If you enjoyed it, it would mean the world to Grace if you did one of two things to help other people find the podcast: either screenshot this episode and share it with someone you think it would be helpful for, or leave a rating and review on iTunes. It makes a big difference! You can connect with the podcast on Instagram @thenewlywedshow and the show’s host @gracewjensen. Thank you again.

Today Grace and Zach share a variety of audiobooks and podcasts that may help you in your marriage and life. This week’s “We’re in it With Ya” story is of a conversation in which Zach used communication tactics he’s learning from “Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It” by Chris Voss with Tahl Raz (2:40). 

Our hosting couple first shares several podcasts and podcast episodes. The initial few are episodes from Dax Shepherd’s podcast series “Experts on Experts.” The interviews are as follows:

John Gottman (on his research about what predicts happy marriages)

Esther Perel (on sex)

Jennifer Newsom (on gender roles and stereotypes)

Adam Grant (on introversion, criticism, and more)

Grace also recommends these podcasts:

“The Betrayed, the Addicted, and the Expert” with Ashlynn and Coby (a couple) and Brannon (a therapist)

“The Rise Together Podcast” with Rachel and Dave Hollis

“Mormon Marriages” with Angilyn and Nate Bagley

Grace HIGHLY recommends this episode on motherhood from the podcast “Q.More” with Rosemary Card and Dr. Julie Hanks:

‘The Highest and Holiest Calling’

Next are audiobooks that can all be found on Audible. 

“The Good News about Marriage” by Shaunti Feldhahn and Tally Whitehead - A research-based book debunking negative myths on marriage. 

“The Power of Vulnerability” by Brene Brown - A collection of live speeches by a shame researcher. If feelings are not your favorite place to be, give Brene Brown a shot. Grace and Zach would not be married without her.

“The Gifts of Imperfection” by Brene Brown (narrated by someone else) - A foundational book for Brene’s work. 

“Daring Greatly” by Brene Brown - Focuses on the strength and importance of vulnerability. 

“Men, Women, and Worthiness: The Experience of Shame and the Power of Being Enough” by Brene Brown - A collection of live recordings on how men and women experience shame differently, and how they enforce each other’s shame stories.

“To Have and to Hold: Motherhood, Marriage, and the Modern Dilemma” by Molly Millwood - Shares research and information on how to better make the transition into parenthood as a couple. 

“Real Love: the truth about finding unconditional love and fulfilling relationships” by Greg Baer

“The Four Tendencies: The indispensable personality profiles that reveal how to make your life better (and other people’s lives better, too)” by Gretchen Rubin - A highly useful book profiling how different people are motivated. Grace and Zach talked about it in Episode 20.

“The Five Love Languages: the secret to love that lasts” by Gary Chapman - Required reading if you have any loved ones.

Grace and Zach end by wishing you happy holidays! Thanks for listening. If you enjoy this podcast, it would mean the world to Grace if you did one of two things to help other people find it: either screenshot this episode and share it , or leave a rating and review on iTunes. It makes a big difference! You can connect with the podcast on Instagram @thenewlywedshow and the show’s host @gracewjensen. Thank you again. 

Happy 2020! Today Grace brings you strategie on how to reconnect and get out of a relationship funk. Let’s get a good year going! Grace gives an update on her life (2:15). She and Zach have moved to San Diego and are enjoying being among family. 

The first tip on how to reconnect is probably the most obvious—weekly date nights (6:20). Newlyweds may not feel   this practice is important, but as life becomes more of a routine, connection should be a priority on the schedule. The next piece of advice is to create your own traditions (8:05). Third, meet weekly to talk about schedules, plans, logistics, and kids (9:45). This will allow couples to spend their date nights enjoying each other rather than discussing the domestic scene. Finally, one therapist recommended not complaining about your spouse on social media, and another even suggested having joint social media accounts (11:20). In talking about social media use, Grace recalls the need she felt early in her marriage for examples of happy couples with very different personalities. For those who feel the same need she recommends episode 16 of this podcast. 

Next, Grace shares couples’ New Year’s resolutions from friends and family to give you more ideas on how to realign. (14:15) If your spouse is resistant to goal-setting in the New Year, episode 20 will be a treasure for your marriage (15:20). One couple wishes to be more spiritually aligned with studying scripture together (16:05). Kelbie from episode 2 and her husband are setting micro-goals to pay off specific debt while making sure to enjoy life (17:45). An elderly widower commented on the importance of balance between goal-setting, connecting, and personal growth (19:00). Meghan and Mickayeen from episode 16 set yearly intentions and bi-weekly meetings to check in on their progress (21:05). Another couple reward themselves upon reaching milestones (22:15). 

Grace ends with a slew of ideas from other sources: record when you learn new things about each other (25:00), add a new couple to your social circle (25:25), take a risk together (25:40), write down memories of the last year (27:30), read and discuss a helpful book about relationships/marriage (28:50), choose a cause to volunteer for together (30:30), host a dinner party for other couples (31:25), break a bad habit together (33:00), commit to being spontaneous (33:15), monthly money talks (follow @ameskiefer on Instagram) (34:15), practice gratitude regularly (35:35).

Thank you for listening to this podcast! Sharing it with a friend or leaving a quick review on iTunes would be deeply appreciated—it spreads the word and keeps this show going. Follow on Instagram @thenewlywedshow and Grace Jensen @gracewjensen. She would love to hear your responses, questions, and ideas.

Another way to support the podcast is to use the Newlywed Show shop. This dream resource includes every product recommended throughout the podcast. Access now at https://www.amazon.com/shop/gracewjensen It’s clearly organized by topic and kept up to date. Enjoy!

Sofia Jacobsen (a.k.a. Sofie), a labor and postpartum doula, joins the show to guide couples through preparing for pregnancy and parenting. She’s been married seven years and has had five pregnancies and two kids (2:00). Sofie is the founder of the Mother Seed, an online community for modern parents (4:45). You can find it on Facebook and Instagram @themotherseed, and online at https://themotherseed.com. 

Sofie’s first counsel is to modify expectations (9:40). For example, your family may not be as enthusiastic as you want or you may feel exhausted rather than rejuvenated during pregnancy. Within this Grace and Sofie talk about prenatal and postpartum depression in both mothers and fathers (13:10), and expectations around post-birth recovery (17:30) and taking care of the newborn (19:50). They thoroughly cover solutions for all areas, particularly breastfeeding struggles. To find a local breastfeeding counselor you can search the database on https://www.ilca.org/why-ibclc/falc and https://www.llli.org/.

Given that your parents/spouse might not be as available or helpful as you might hope, Sofie suggests building your community (33:30). This could include WIC, babywearing chapters, local parenting groups, pregnancy/parenting social media accounts (You can find Sofie’s list here), LLL, professionals--even acquaintances! Practice redefining your definition of community so you can gain increased support and connection. Sofie encourages you to remember that you are never alone in your experiences (38:00).

Her next piece of advice is to practice listening to other people’s advice without absorbing too much (41:30). While some of it may be helpful, we all get plenty of unwelcome comments, stories, and suggestions. Sofie and Grace outline how to set boundaries, which includes not taking on others’ emotional baggage and responding intentionally. You know yourself, baby, spouse, and situation the best--trust yourself first (45:20). They promote a respectful tone in all conversation on different parenting and pregnancy paths (49:30).

Sofie encourages learning for your own empowerment, not only individually but as a couple (53:10). She suggests a variety of topics and methods, and reminds you to learn in the ways that are realistic and helpful for you as a couple. Some of these include women’s cycles, nutrition, and self care. 

Our professional doula’s final point dives into the importance of self care. Pregnancy often triggers unresolved issues within parents (56:30). Try to utilize the previous techniques and methods that have helped you in the past, be open with your spouse, utilize your community, and seek professional health. It takes a village to raise a child and it takes just as much work, community, and love, to raise a parent. 

Sofie ends with sharing her favorite resources on pregnancy and parenting. The books she specifically mentioned can be found on the Newlywed Show Amazon shop and more are listed on The Mother Seed here.

Thank you for listening! You can also listen to this episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or TuneIn.

Today’s guest is Ryann Kipping, a clinically trained Registered Dietitian Nutritionist, Certified Lactation Educator, and author of The Feel-Good Pregnancy Cookbook. You can find her at https://www.theprenatalnutritionist.com/ and @prenatalnutritionist on Instagram. 

Firstly, Ryann promotes conscious healthy eating long before pregnancy (7:00). Getting your body to maximum health before pregnancy stores the nutrition your body needs while it’s sick during (at least) the first trimester (9:50). Grace raves about Ryann’s simple, useful, affordable cookbook, which can be found here (12:00). Ryann also offers extensive 30-day meal plans (15:50). She has plans for each semester and those with specific diet needs.

Ryann then describes the P+ Method program (20:05). She made it to be an affordable, self-paced virtual program to replace sessions with Ryann herself. A link is here; enrollment opens January 30th and lasts about a week. Ryann is also offering a free five-day prenatal meal plan to listeners of the show!

Grace then asks what nutritious snacks our professional recommends (26:00), and whether caffeine is safe during pregnancy (29:30). https://www.caffeineinformer.com/ is recommended to find out the caffeine content of your drink. 

Thank you for listening to this podcast! Sharing it with a friend or leaving a quick review on iTunes would be deeply appreciated—it spreads the word and keeps this show going. Follow on Instagram @thenewlywedshow and Grace Jensen @gracewjensen. She would love to hear your responses, questions, and ideas.

Another way to support the podcast is to use the Newlywed Show shop. This dream resource includes every product recommended throughout the podcast. Access now at https://www.amazon.com/shop/gracewjensen It’s clearly organized by topic and kept up to date. Enjoy!

You can also listen to this episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or TuneIn.

Grace and Zach bring you a Valentine’s Day episode! (Yes, already! You’ll hear why.) Grace tells the story of their first Valentine’s Day together (2:15) and what they like to do now (4:30). The present tradition includes secrecy, so we won’t write down what Grace and Zach are giving each other this year. Grace does share what she gave last year though (5:30) and lists lots of other ideas (9:55). Zach then shares what he gave last year (21:30) and his ideas for the future (26:30). This episode includes a great variety of ways to surprise and show appreciation for a loved one—you’re welcome to come back to it for any special occasion. 

Thank you for listening to this podcast! Sharing it with a friend or leaving a quick review on iTunes would be deeply appreciated—it spreads the word and keeps this show going. Follow on Instagram @thenewlywedshow and Grace Jensen @gracewjensen. She would love to hear from you!

Dr. Jeremy Boden PhD, LMFT joins the show to share “The Most Comprehensive Online Marriage Preparation Program for Christian and LDS Couples.” The practical help his classes give students at Utah Valley University inspired him to make the concepts widely accessible (4:45). Dr. Boden explains why he is passionate about this timeframe for couples (9:45) and how he created the course (12:00). He emphasizes its goal of unifying couples (13:30).

His course offers eight modules with videos and “worksheets” (7:20). Grace clarifies what the worksheets are (18:30). The first module after the introductory one is about nurturing your faith as a couple (16:20). The second focuses on the importance of becoming your best self, (since happy and healthy individuals generally make happy and healthy couples) (22:45). The third principle is building and nurturing couple connections, which is more multifaceted than many people think (24:55). The next module covers the six foundational concepts of disconnection and repair—a critical skillset (27:40). Dr. Boden says, “Happy marriages are not about the lack of conflict, but the presence of consistent repair and positive connections.” Module 6 (and Principle 5) is this therapist’s speciality: how to start an amazing sex life after a life of abstinence (30:00). The second to last principle is managing finances as a team (33:30). The final principle focuses on stretching the principles and practices you’ve learned in the course throughout marriage (35:40).

The worth of this course and its cost are stunningly different (41:00). You can access the entire course forever for only $49 at https://marriageandfamilysolutions.teachable.com/. Dr. Boden will continue to create courses so keep up with him at https://www.drjeremyboden.com/. 

Thank you for listening to this podcast! Sharing it with a friend or leaving a quick review on iTunes would be deeply appreciated—your small actions help spread the word and keep this show going. Feel free to follow on Instagram @thenewlywedshow and Grace Jensen @gracewjensen. She would love to hear your responses, questions, and ideas!

Grace and Zach sit down to share the definitions of Brené Brown’s most important concepts. They would not be married without the work of researcher Brené Brown PhD LMSW, so listen up! Zach celebrates that the show hit 10,000 listens this week (5:20), and they share their “We’re In It With Ya!” story about accessibility (7:30). PSA: Every definition discussed in today’s episode can be found at https://brenebrown.com/definitions/.

The first words are the foundations of Brown’s work: “vulnerability” (17:20) and “shame” (19:00). Grace and Zach review them in the particular context of marriage. Next is “integrity,” which closely relates to “value” (23:40). Grace emphasizes the importance of practicing your values as a spouse, bringing you integrity. Brown has also defined “connection,” interestingly enough (28:10). 

One of Grace’s favorite concepts is “true belonging” (31:40). She and Zach spend some time picking it apart and discussing how it looks in marriage. They then discuss Brown’s controversial definition of “love” (38:40), something Grace is also passionate about. Lastly, the créme de la créme, is “wholehearted living” (45:00).

If you found this episode helpful, help others find the podcast! It can be as quick and easy as texting it to a friend or rating the show on iTunes. Grace and Zach would LOVE to hear from you--how you found the show, how it’s helped you, and your thoughts on the ideas it shares. Connect with them on Instagram @thenewlywedshow or personally with Grace @gracewjensen. 

Today’s topic involves a relentless obligation: feeding ourselves. Grace shares her tips for making meals that are cost-effective, healthy, quick, and partner-friendly. Her method is also called batch-cooking!

Grace’s first advice is to take a look at what’s in your kitchen and find out whether you have protein, carbohydrates, fruits, and/or vegetables (4:15). Having these four basics makes throwing meals together a much easier task. Our host covers how to make each category more accessible: vegetables (6:10), carbs (12:40), protein (18:40), and fruits (22:20). Lastly, she discusses tactics for the all-important breakfast (25:30).

Below are some of the specific recipes and instructions Grace mentions: 

Roasted Veggie Formula
-Preheat oven to 450 degrees Fahrenheit 
-Put chopped veggies in gallon Ziploc
-Add a few tablespoons of olive or avocado oil, a tablespoon or two of minced garlic, and some salt
-Close Ziploc and shake well
-Empty veggies onto a cookie pan and put in oven
-Roast for 20 minutes, a few minutes more depending on the vegetable

Instant Pot grain:broth ratios:
Quinoa (regular) 1:1.25, 8 minutes
Basmati Rice 1:1.5, 4-8 minute
Brown Rice 1:1.25, 22-28 minute
Jasmine Rice 1:1, 4-10 minute
White Rice 1:1.5, 8 minute
Wild Rice 1:3, 25-30 minutes

Organic Chicken Better than Bouillon on Amazon here

Purely Elizabeth granola on Amazon here 

If you found this episode helpful, help others find the podcast! It can be as quick and easy as texting it to a friend or rating the show on iTunes. Grace would LOVE to hear from you--how you found the show, how it’s helped you, and your thoughts on the ideas it shares. Connect with them on Instagram @thenewlywedshow or personally with Grace @gracewjensen. You can also find any products mentioned at www.amazon.com/shop/gracewjensen.

Grace's husband Zach hosts the show today, interviewing Dr. Scott Woolley on a variety of marital topics. His first question is on anxiety during the engagement period—why it happens (2:00) and when to listen to your doubts (6:30). They particularly focus on the struggle of knowing whether you’re in love with your partner (13:20).

Zach’s next question is on how to adjust to living together and the many differences that often appear there (21:00). In fact dealing with differences seems to be a theme, as the next topic is different communication styles (30:45), and then different money practices (39:50). Finally, Dr. Woolley advises on how to talk about having kids (47:00).

Thank you for listening to this podcast! Sharing it with a friend or leaving a quick review on iTunes would be deeply appreciated—it spreads the word and keeps this show going. Follow on Instagram @thenewlywedshow and Grace Jensen @gracewjensen. She would love to hear from you! You can also access the Amazon shop mentioned here.

Grace and Zach report on their 12 Days of Valentines, a tradition they introduced in Episode 40.  Find out which activity they improvised and which activity they both did for each other!

Hello, I have missed you! We will back with our regularly scheduled Wednesday episodes March 24th, but in the meantime listen for a few updates!

Zach and I discuss six VERY common pieces of marriage advice-that are actually terrible! Why are they terrible? Do they have any kernels of truth in them?

I have thought about the content of this episode for a loooong time! Zach and I discuss both practical things to talk about as a couple before deciding to try to get pregnant, and what we wish we had known ahead of time about how pregnancy would challenge our relationship.

Chelsea Petersen, couples therapist and owner of Cache Valley Counseling, talks about how couples fall out of love, why she became a couples therapist, how to know when its time to go to therapy, which spouse usually reaches out first, and the role of sex in a committed relationship.

Cache Valley Counseling  Website

Cultivating Connections Workshop

10 Ways to Fire Up The Attention, Passion, & Desire In Your Lackluster Partner

Social Media:
Instagram @cachevalleycounseling

Facebook  facebook.com/cachevalleycounseling

Chelsea Petersen, couples therapist and owner of Cache Valley Counseling, describes how to re-ignite "pretty good" marriages, how marriages go stale, how to help a friend or family member struggling in their marriage,  and different myths around couples counseling.

Cache Valley Counseling  Website

Cultivating Connections Workshop

10 Ways to Fire Up The Attention, Passion, & Desire In Your Lackluster Partner

Social Media:
Instagram @cachevalleycounseling

Facebook  facebook.com/cachevalleycounseling

In honor of National Infertility Awareness Week, I talk about some basics around what infertility is and how common it is, quotes from celebrities addressing various aspects of experiencing it, what the single most important factor is regarding how experiencing infertility will affect your marriage, and how to use the ABC-X model to influence your personal experience of infertility,
The blog post I mentioned with different women's stories of having a miscarriage can be found here.
Text (760) 280-6174 to give me direct comments and questions about the show and have me text you direct links to each week's episode! I also have decided to combine the podcast and my personal Instagram, so find it all @GraceWJensen!

Zach and I snuggle up in an ancient armchair so I can get his live reactions to ten marriage myths and some encouraging marriage statistics!

You can keep up with me @gracewjensen on Instagram or by texting me at 760-280-6174. If you text me an episode idea that I end up using I'll VenMo you some $$!

The Good News About Marriage: Debunking Discouraging Myths about Marriage and Divorce by Shaunti Feldhahn

One of my favorite pieces of marriage advice to give young couples is, "Don't underestimate the power of liking each other even when you don't love each other!" I tell the story of why this is so important to me, and how it can help you transition out of the honeymoon phase and into mature love. The honeymoon phase and all of it's raging hormones eventually will ebb. I  give some tips about how to foster the friendship in your marriage, and bring back the best parts of the honeymoon phase into your mature relationship!

Text me at 760-280-6173 to suggest episode ideas (which I might VenMo you some $$ for!) and tell what platform you listen to the podcast on so I can send you the link to each week's episode! Follow me and the podcast on Instagram @GraceWJensen.

The article by Tesia Blake mentioned can be found here!

Dr. Jeremy Boden comes on to discuss how to best navigate political differences within marriage.

Links mentioned:
https://www.drjeremyboden.com/
https://www.drjeremyboden.com/landing-page
www.allsides.com
@allsidesnow

Zach and I share our personal story of how we would get stuck in the criticism/defensiveness spiral with each other and how we got out of it, with a special emphasis on how recognizing your partner's strengths makes a big difference!

IG: @gracewjensen

Use code GRACE20 at www.meetjovi.com for $20 off!

What did I do this weekend that got me thinking about family history? What can family history teach you about your spouse? How can it improve your marriage? There's research about how knowing your family history influences you?!

I give you some fun (mostly) free summer date ideas according to what your spouse's love language is, and I also share a little idea of how to honor Memorial Day if you're feeling a little guilty for not honoring the day more!

Budgeting can be so hard, with every guru having a different system, and most of them are, well, complicated. This week I convinced Zach to come and share how we simplified and finally found a stable budgeting and saving system we've used for the last year and a half! Feeling in control of our money, and being able to communicate about our finances and savings goals is so helpful! Learn tips for prioritizing your savings goals, so that savings are meaningful, and not just saving to save. Learn tips to help fund your retirement, and diversify your finances a little. To use our referral to get a Capital One credit card, click here.

 Also, I forgot to mention this on the episode, but if you're looking for an approach to money that is NOT Dave Ramsey, I really like @deeperthanmoneyco on IG! Speaking of, my account is @gracewjensen, come hang out with me!

If you enjoyed this episode, PLEASE rate and review on Apple Podcasts! It would mean so much to me!

Grace welcomes back Dr. Scott Woolley for this week's episode to discuss negative patterns couples develop in dealing with conflict. Dr. Woolley introduces the three main patterns of fighting in marriage, "Find the Bad Guy," "The Protest Polka," and "Freeze and Flee".

Grace and Dr. Woolley discuss why being able to identify the patterns in your own marriage allow you to change your perspective, and come together as a couple, or even individually start to address the patterns, to help change behaviors. They discuss how often, fights may seem to be about something surface level, but when actually addressed, can really about something much more vulnerable, such as self-worth, or feeling safe or supported in the relationship.

They then discuss how to allow ourselves to become more vulnerable, by acknowledging surface emotions and defense mechanisms, to really address the true problems that cause conflict in a relationship. 

Dr. Woolley addresses how to ask the right questions about how to change behavior, by figuring out why the fights start, and how to address them differently. He gives ideas for battle plans for couples to work together to improve how they address conflict in their marriage, and cause less hurt during. 

Grace adds several ideas of conferences, classes or seminars to attend to help boost a couple's skills with these techniques:
Hold Me Tight(er) Online
Building a Lasting Connection
Jeremy Boden’s Newlywed Course

Grace brings back professional doula, Sofia Jacobsen, to talk about all things postpartum, and introduce Sofia’s new online course.

Women are so amazing, and honoring our bodies after creating life is so important. Grace and Sofia cover everything from describing what is happening to the body from an anatomical perspective, to how to help recovery. They discuss the importance of proper nutrition and rest, and how that correlates with anthropological traditions.

They also talk about the emotional needs of a mother. Sofia offers tips for communicating more effectively with your spouse. Communicating needs, emotions and even about intimacy can shift after postpartum. Grace and Sofia also discuss getting help from neighbors and in laws and how to communicate if that help is. . . less than helpful.

Sofia also talks about the importance of building a support system of professionals.  Don’t miss this information packed episode! 

You can find Sofia on Instagram @themotherseed and at her website themotherseed.com!

It’s Zach’s turn to take the mic as he gives husbands and fathers all the things he wishes he had known before pregnancy and parenthood. 

Zach takes this episode in three distinct sections: pregnancy, labor and birth, and parenthood.

Zach reassures fathers-to-be that changes that occur  during pregnancy do go back to normal. Pregnancy brings a lot of changes, and it can feel like your wife isn’t the same person, but don’t worry, she’ll recover and be that person again. He talks about adjusting expectations with your wife’s diminished abilities to keep up with her normal routines and responsibilities. He also emphasizes the importance of helping your wife feel supported.

Zach recommends taking some classes or watching birthing videos to prepare for the delivery. He also talks about setting expectations for the birth plan so dad knows how to best support mom, and process anxieties and emotions that can come to new fathers.

Zach talks about some Brownie points for new fathers, and planning on how to help your wife with feeling supported post birth, from needing clothes, or how to help baby.

For all things Dad-to-Be, check out episode 59! 

In order to give you the best content possible, the podcast will be transitioning to a season format instead of a weekly one. Here I explain a little bit of the reasons why, and I can't wait to start publishing episodes again this fall!