The Look & Sound of Leadership (Essential Communications - Tom Henschel)
Explore every episode of The Look & Sound of Leadership
| Pub. Date | Title | Duration | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 02 Sep 2015 | Executive Presenting | 00:16:37 | |
Presentations are a golden opportunity to display your executive presence. Here are six behaviors that’ll help you command the room and deepen your brand. | |||
| 10 Jan 2019 | Executive Presence - Three Pillars | 00:17:54 | |
This month’s coaching conversation explores the three pillars of executive presence. In this episode's commentary, Tom mentions research about Executive Presence conducted by the Center for Talent Innovation. The key findings are available at: Three episodes grew directly from ideas in that white paper: The Executive Coaching Tips archive has a filter for "Executive Presence." It's at: Four additional episodes you might listen to are: Browse the entire archive at: Be in touch with us at: | |||
| 07 Apr 2016 | Power Tools for Teams — Plus/Delta | 00:16:44 | |
This month, The Look & Sound of Leadership gives you a tool for developing your team. A process that takes only minutes to learn, if practiced regularly, this exercise has far-reaching ripples. Welcome to "The Plus/Delta Tool." Other episodes to help you develop as a leader of teams are: Your Team's Best Interests - Part One | |||
| 09 Jan 2020 | Thinking Errors | 00:21:56 | |
This month’s coaching conversation examines phrases we use that lead us into self-deception. Tom and his client explore why thinking errors so often remain invisible and, once revealed, what other words might be possible substitutions. SHOW NOTES: “How To Raise Your Self-Esteem” by Nathaniel Branden “The Four Agreement” by Don Miguel Ruiz Related Tips & Episodes
This Tip is in five categories in the archive:
The archive is at: Get the HTML transcript: Be in touch with Tom at: From all of us, thanks! See you next month! | |||
| 07 Jan 2016 | High-Stakes Meetings | 00:16:07 | |
The goal of this episode is to give you a three-step process to help you succeed in meetings when you feel there’s a lot at stake. Step one: Clarify the Story. Four other episodes can also help with this step: “Sounding Executive,” “Communicating With Clarity,” “Executive Presenting” and, the mother of all communication tools: “Sorting and Labeling.” Step two: Do Your Homework. This step is different for everyone. Sometimes it means getting information from another department. Sometimes it means researching data. Sometimes it means talking to people who’ve gone before you. Most people seem to know what homework to do; the struggle is finding time. Because we’re busy we think, “Oh, I’ll let the homework slide.” But I promise – doing your homework will make you feel much more confident. That brings us to the final step: Managing Yourself. In this episode I mention several concepts to help you manage yourself that you can find in other episodes. “Assume Equality” is a critical self-management tool. Another, to help manage feeling like a victim, is called “Status.” Another is called “Choosing Stories Over Truth.” This month’s episode is all about preparing for a high-stakes meeting with a tough company president. Next month’s episode will be about what happened when I was finally in the room face-to-face with her. | |||
| 03 Nov 2016 | Under Executive Questioning | 00:14:50 | |
This episode addresses three issues that arise when you’re facing an executive team. First, what meaning are you making about the event itself? Is that meaning helping you or not helping you? If it’s not helping you, change it. | |||
| 11 Jul 2019 | The Focused Executive | 00:17:28 | |
This month’s coaching conversation focuses on a leader who finds herself in a storm of heavy seas. To help her find calm, Tom shares a technique from his past. You can grab the PDF that Tom mentions in this episode at: In the archive, this episode is tagged in four categories: Related episodes are: The archive of Executive Coaching Tips is at: Subscribe to the HTML version and get transcripts of each month’s episode at: Be in touch with Tom at: Thanks, all! See you next month! "The Look & Sound of Leadership" team | |||
| 07 Feb 2019 | Managing Former Peers | 00:17:49 | |
Internal promotions can be mixed blessings. Managing former peers has the potential to upset everyone. This month’s coaching conversation explores ways to handle this live grenade with aplomb. Two books mentioned during the commentary: Lots of related episodes mentioned: Relating to the issue of managing people who are upset: Deep gratitude to those who post reviews. Thanks! Browse the entire archive at: Be in touch with us at: | |||
| 11 Apr 2019 | Inviting Dialogue | 00:16:50 | |
This months’ coaching conversation is with a leader who genuinely wants open dialogue with his direct reports but finds he may have been unintentionally limiting his conversations. In the archive, this episode is tagged in four categories:
Six related episodes are:
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Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/
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| 06 Oct 2016 | Creating Safety for Hard Talks | 00:16:59 | |
You can’t be an effective leader if you are not able to have hard conversations that are successful. “Successful” means addressing tough topics in a way that will create change. One crucial skill to make hard conversations successful is attending to how things are being said. Without an awareness of the ‘how,’ things won’t be as safe as they could be. And if things aren’t safe, they won’t go deep. And if they don’t go deep, they probably won’t stick. Five other episodes that relate to these skills are: If you want to dig even deeper into this topic, two books to read are: “Difficult Conversations” from The Harvard Negotiation Project. The authors are Stone, Patton and Heen. And from the folks at VitalSmarts is “Crucial Conversations.” The authors are Patterson, Grenny, McMillan and Switzler. Both books are great. Lots of scripts. Lots of insights. Lots of tools. | |||
| 07 Sep 2017 | Acting on the Corporate Stage | 00:23:25 | |
This month's episode introduces "Acting on the Corporate Stage." That phrase was Tom's original branding phrase, before "The Look & Sound of Leadership" became his branding phrase. "Acting on the Corporate Stage" aims at helping you be perceived in the workplace the way you want to be perceived, which, of course, is the reason d'etre of every episode. Also this month, Tom shares reflections on attending his first-ever podcaster's convention. And his reflections are all about YOU! He also points you to two very different interviews on other podcasts: The Everyday Innovator with Chad McAllister, episode 137. He and Chad deconstruct the "Sorting & Labeling" tool. Very helpful! Fatherhood 360 with David Wissore, episode 11. While exploring how parenthood influences leadership, Tom reveals some very personal stories. The four related episodes this month are: The archive of Executive Coaching Tips is at: | |||
| 09 Jul 2014 | Personal Branding | 00:14:49 | |
Each one of us has a personal brand. Every day we reinforce our brands consciously or unconsciously. The tools in this episode will help you craft your brand with intention. | |||
| 05 Aug 2015 | A Breakdown of Listening | 00:17:18 | |
We all think we’re better listeners than we really are. Luckily, we all have the capacity to improve our skills. But not all listening is the same. Here’s a breakdown. | |||
| 01 Apr 2021 | Understanding Feedback | 00:27:22 | |
This month’s coaching conversation explores ways to make feedback more palatable. The secret: sort the feedback you receive into three distinct categories. Many ideas in this episode and last month’s episode are explained more fully in the book: ‘Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well – even when it is off base, unfair, poorly delivered and, frankly, you’re not in the mood.’” Related episodes are: Unblocking Feedback (from last month) In the archive, this Tip is tagged in three categories
Coaching For Leaders: Episode 518 Fidelis Leadership Podcast: Episode 37 Ultimate Leadership Podcast: 02/08/21
Subscribe to the HTML version at: Be in touch with Tom at: See you next month! From all of us on “The Look & Sound of Leadership” team — thanks!
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| 20 Nov 2020 | Two dates & a gift — A bonus episode! | 00:04:23 | |
Two dates: Complete four questions to be entered to win an hour of free coaching with Tom https://essentialcomm.com/survey Thursday, December 3, 2020 Registration closes for “Leveraging Your Strengths and the Strengths of Others.” After decades delivering courses for our corporate clients, we finally created a course for you. Register at: https://essentialcomm.com/disc The gift is a 60-second practice to help you be strong and resilient. Take care of yourselves! From everyone at “The Look & Sound of Leadership” | |||
| 05 Dec 2019 | Don’t Take Anything Personally | 00:18:59 | |
This month’s coaching conversation wrestles with the eternal struggle to depersonalize the events in our lives that feel so personal. Is it even possible to actualize the adage, “Don’t take it personally?” Tom mentions two books that can help you manage yourself so you don’t take things personally:
In the archive, this Tip is in five categories: Perception – How You Perceive Yourself Perception – How You Perceive Others Personal Growth & Self-Development Five related Coaching Tips you can listen to are Lots to browse through!
The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Get the HTML transcript: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom: https://essentialcomm.com/contact From everyone at “The Look & Sound of Leadership,” thanks! See you next month! | |||
| 02 Oct 2014 | Thinking Errors | 00:14:58 | |
Thinking errors are tough to spot in yourself because they seem true. Usually we've believed them for a long time. Here are ways to free yourself from thinking errors | |||
| 07 Jun 2018 | Taming the Wild Child | 00:17:23 | |
This month’s coaching conversation features a high-performing client who sometimes wrestles with her fear. Knowing that her fear can diminish her, she seeks a way out. Tom also talks about the new course "Improv for Leaders” taught by improv master Jeremy Rowley. Related epsidoes this month: Every episode is available in the archive at: Subscribe to the HTML version at: Be in touch with Tom at: And thank you so very much for your reviews. Your contribution is beyond measure when you take a moment to post a review. Thank you! | |||
| 03 Sep 2020 | Psychological Safety | 00:25:44 | |
This month’s coaching conversation explores how leaders can foster psychological safety. Teams high in both safety and accountability enter a “Learning Zone” where high performance follows naturally. In this month’s conversation, Tom and his client mentioned “The Checklist Manifesto” by Atul Gawande. His proposition is a great formula for creating psychological safety. Related episodes are: “Don’t Take Anything Personally”
Subscribe to the HTML version at: Be in touch with Tom at: PLEASE COMPLETE OUR SURVEY You’ll be entered to win an hour of free coaching with Tom! Your input will help us build a better website for you. From the whole team at “The Look & Sound of Leadership” — thanks! See you next month! | |||
| 04 Feb 2021 | Blind Spots | 00:27:50 | |
This month’s coaching conversation features a leader too talented to lose but too troublesome to keep. Tom talks with him about blind spots and how he might reduce his. PDFs for you: Win an hour of free coaching with Tom. Complete our survey. The full archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast Related Archive Categories: Personal Growth & Self-Development
Self-Awareness & Self-Management
Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ Thanks for completing the survey. We’re excited to share the new website we’re building for you. Thanks again for posting reviews! Stay positive. Test negative. See you next month! | |||
| 08 Aug 2019 | The Talky Executive | 00:16:50 | |
This month’s coaching conversation wrestles with the obstacles that arise when you try listening to people who think out loud – often at great length! Related episodes are: In the archive, this Tip is tagged in four categories The archive of Executive Coaching Tips is available at: Subscribe to the HTML version at: Be in touch with Tom at: See you next month! From all of us on “The Look & Sound of Leadership” team — thanks! | |||
| 05 Apr 2018 | 360s: Weapons or Tools? | 00:21:09 | |
360-degree feedback can be intense. Or confusing. Like many reports, it often needs explaining, even if the information is familiar. This month’s coaching conversation explores the many sides of 360s. Curious to learn more about 360s? Listen to Tom's interview on "Coaching for Leaders." https://coachingforleaders.com/podcast/341/ Want to learn more about quantative 360-degree feedback reports? Contact Envisia Learning. envisialearning.com Want to learn about qualitative 360-degree feedback reports? Contact us. info@esssentialcomm.com Want to see a sample of a qualitative feedback report? Every episode is available at: Be in touch with us at: | |||
| 30 Apr 2014 | Achieving Authenticity | 00:14:43 | |
Leaders who are authentic display The Look & Sound of Leadership™. We follow them eagerly. But how to achieve authenticity? Here are five tools. | |||
| 12 Jan 2017 | Inhabiting Executive Presence | 00:17:08 | |
Getting to the next level of executive presence usually demands the adoption of new behaviors. This month's episode explores a three-step process that helps new behaviors become habits. Helping you change behavior so you can be perceived the way you want to be perceived is the raison d'être of this podcast. If it's time for you develop more effective behaviors, there is an entire category in “The Look & Sound of Leadership" archive that will accelerate your development. The archive is at: The category, "Developing New Behavior" is at: Five favorite episodes in that category are:
The episode called "Creating New Behaviors" has a PDF that goes along with it. If you'd like it, just ask. I'd love to send it you. Pop me an email at: info@essentialcomm.com | |||
| 11 Jan 2018 | Leadership versus Management | 00:19:33 | |
Are leadership and management really different? And does it matter? This month’s coaching conversation explores what separates leadership from management. And what connects them. And why it matters for you and the people you lead.Are leadership and management really different? And does it matter? This month’s coaching conversation explores what separates leadership from management. And what connects them. And why it matters for you and the people you lead. If you're interested in related episodes, you can search the archive under "Leadership" and/or "Management Skills." Those are at:https://essentialcomm.com/tag/leadership/ and https://essentialcomm.com/tag/management-skills/
Leadership behaviors:
Management actions:
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| 14 Jan 2021 | The Executive Executive | 00:27:23 | |
This month’s coaching conversation is between Tom and Courtney, another executive coach. What traits, they wonder, do effective executives share? If rising leaders wanted to reverse engineer what it means to be executives, what would they put in the mix? The five qualities Tom and Courtney identify are: Resilience -- get over hurts and setbacks Influence – build a natural reserve of strong relationships Organization – create lead-time and eliminate fire drills Scope – maintain the highest altitude possible; resist the weeds Speed of Thought – exert alertness and be mentally nimble
At the end of this month’s commentary, Tom lists six books, each one different, but all leading towards personal growth and professional development. They are… Change Your Questions, Change Your Life Crucial Conversations or Difficult Conversations
Want a free PDF of these titles, including who might prefer which? Click here and put “6 Books” in the subject line. We’ll send you the PDF.
Want to win an hour of free coaching with Tom? Complete this short survey to be entered in a drawing. https://essentialcomm.com/survey/
To dig deeper into your own development, search the episode archive using these filters: | |||
| 06 Aug 2014 | Managing Up | 00:10:48 | |
We all want bosses who are sensitive to our needs. But savvy players know we need to manage our bosses at least as much as they manage us. | |||
| 10 Jun 2015 | Executive Gender Bias | 00:15:54 | |
The research is unequivocal: in the workplace, women play on a tilted field. Everyone contributes to work's off-center world -- even women! This episode explores ways to bring the tipping back in balance. | |||
| 06 Jan 2015 | Mentoring & Mentors | 00:12:06 | |
Finding good mentors – and using them wisely – can change your career trajectory. So can being a mentor to others. Here are actions for succeeding in both roles. | |||
| 03 Apr 2014 | Your Goodwill Bank Account | 00:13:50 | |
Certain people seem to have unlimited leeway when they make a mistake or miss a deadline while others seem to acquire black marks and penalties for the most minor infractions. This month’s episode explains why. | |||
| 09 Jun 2016 | Building Empathy | 00:16:49 | |
Empathy is a crucial component of The Look & Sound of Leadership. Some people have it naturally, others don’t. In either case, it can be developed and learned. This month's episode has lots of ideas about what empathy is, what it isn't, and how you can develop it. There are lots of resources discussed this month. A book called "The EQ Edge" by Stein and Book. A great 3-minute animation by Brene Brown about sympathy versus empathy. It's on the home page of her website: brenebrown.com. Look for the cartoon of a bear and a fox. Other epsiodes you might listen to are: Building Emotional Intelligence Dealing With Emotional Responses Self-Awareness & Self-Management You also might go to essentialcomm.com, select "Coaching Tips," then search two subjects in the archive : Managing Yourself Personal Growth & Self-Development Finally, if you or someone you know is in the middle of a job search, Tom did an interview this month with a wonderful career coach names Alyson Garrido. The interview has lots of helpful tips and tools. You can find it at: LA TalkRadio.com. The show is called "Get Yourself The Job." The show is in their archive for May, 2016. Be good to the people you're leading. And be good to yourself! Until next month, thanks for listening! | |||
| 03 Dec 2014 | The Honorable Executive | 00:15:38 | |
Executives create honor in the workplace not by declarations and speeches. Rather, honor is built in the display of small, consistent behaviors every day. This month’s Tip examines two of those behaviors and one over-arching factor. | |||
| 04 Mar 2021 | Unblocking Feedback | 00:22:05 | |
This month’s coaching conversation follows a client as he works to shrink his blind spot through feedback. He and Tom discuss lowering the barriers that stop us all from taking in feedback. In the episode Tom mentions “Thanks for the Feedback” by Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen. Tom also mentioned the PDF showing The Johari Window.
Related episodes are: Perception – How You Perceive Yourself
Five related episodes you might listen to are:
The full archive of episodes is at: Subscribe to the HTML version at: Be in touch with Tom at: See you next month! From all of us on “The Look & Sound of Leadership” team — thanks! | |||
| 05 Sep 2019 | Video Feedback & Executive Presence | 00:17:24 | |
This month’s coaching conversation centers on learning how to watch yourself on video. It might be uncomfortable at times, but the benefits are enormous. During the commentary, Tom talks about a checklist for you. It’s here. direct link: https://essentialcomm.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/Video-Review-Checklist.pdf Related episodes are
Executive Presence
Get the HTML transcript: Tom is at: From all of us here, thanks! See you next month!
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| 09 Aug 2018 | Managing Bad Behavior | 00:17:48 | |
This month’s coaching conversation focuses on a feedback technique that can help manage bad behavior. The coachee likes the technique so much, he wants to try it on his high performers, too! Related episodes: Discussing Difficult Behaviors Every episode is available in the archive at: Subscribe to the HTML version at: Be in touch with Tom at: To everyone who has ever posted a review for the show in iTunes -- THANK YOU! If you haven't yet, please do. Our survival depends on it. Thanks! | |||
| 06 May 2015 | The Narcissistic Executive | 00:17:56 | |
Narcissistic executives can be infuriating. And, unless you’re one of their favored few, they can be dangerous, too. These five actions will help protect you—and keep you sane. | |||
| 01 Oct 2020 | Personal Connections | 00:23:51 | |
This month’s coaching conversation follows a leader who worries that he’s not very adept when it comes to creating personal connections. He and Tom explore two skills and one mindset that will help ease his way. Related episodes:
In the archive, this episode is tagged in three categories
Help us build a better website for you. Complete our survey at: The archive of Executive Coaching Tips is available at: Subscribe to the HTML version at: Be in touch with Tom at: Thanks, everyone! From all of us at “The Look & Sound of Leadership” team — thanks! | |||
| 08 Dec 2016 | Combating Emotional Hijacks | 00:16:16 | |
When we feel threatened or in danger, an old part of our brains, the one that regulates emotions, hijacks our executive functioning. We say and do things we regret. In the workplace, this can have serious consequences. This month’s Executive Coaching Tip has seven strategies for stopping yourself from getting hijacked. The seven lessons in my conversation with my client, Kimberly, are:
If you want to work on combatting your emotional hijacks. other episodes you can listen to are:
The entire archive is available to you for free at: | |||
| 04 Oct 2018 | Leading Offsites | 00:18:46 | |
A senior leader wants to give one of his direct reports the experience of leading her own offsite. This month’s coaching conversation is about how a leader can foster an offsite with the power to create change. AN INVITATION: Send us questions for our upcoming Q&A episodes! Send your questions to info@essentialcomm.com In the episode, there are many resources to help you learn to lead activities with your team. The six mentioned in the show are: Five episodes to help you build your team leadership skills: Don't forget to send us your questions! | |||
| 05 Dec 2013 | Taming Email | 00:15:10 | |
An ongoing series of Executive Coaching Tips designed to help you be perceived in the workplace the way you want to be perceived. | |||
| 23 May 2017 | Readers’ Letters — Bonus Episode 2 | 00:15:44 | |
Tom exchanges emails with two listeners. One exchange addresses issues of personal boundaries in the workplace; the other addresses scarcity and abundance. This Bonus Episode is only the second one in the 9-year history of "The Look & Sound of Leadership." If you like this and want more, tell us. Contact us through the homepage at: Or by email at: The prior bonus episode -- with two other email exchanges -- is titled "Readers' Letters." It was posted in May, 2016. Find it in your feed. It’s not available on our website. (We’re working on that!) | |||
| 10 Oct 2019 | Agreeable Disagreement | 00:17:56 | |
This month’s coaching conversation follows an executive’s journey from a bulldozer, rolling over people and their ideas, to a thoughtful seeker of ways to get his ideas heard while also building positive relationships. Related episodes are: This Tip is in four categories in the archive: The archive is at: Get the HTML transcript: Be in touch with Tom at: From all of us, thanks! See you next month! | |||
| 15 May 2008 | Discussing Difficult Behaviors | 00:06:59 | |
| 08 Sep 2016 | How Teams Fight | 00:15:11 | |
Conflict on teams is a good thing. Really! Well, it's good if it’s healthy. This month, two techniques to help team members engage in healthy conflict: arguing about what's best for the business and turning hostile non-verbals into dialogue. Related episodes to help with these skills are: | |||
| 04 Sep 2014 | Pursuing A Promotion | 00:14:26 | |
We'd all like to be given a promotion merely because it's our turn. But earning a promotion is actually a job in itself. Mastering the four factors described here will accelerate the process. | |||
| 06 May 2021 | Tough Conversations | 00:25:33 | |
A leader, initially described to his coach as clueless, confronts a hard truth about himself. In the process, he gains a four-step tool to guide him through tough conversations. Core Concepts in this episode: 2. Express intention. Say why you’re having the conversation and what your concerns are. 3. Be clear. Be simple. Identify what you wish were different specifically. 4. Attend to the relationship. At every step, even in the conversation, consider the other person.
Related Tips & Episodes:
The library of all the past episodes is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ Thanks to all of you who are in touch and who post reviews. Much gratitude! See you next month! | |||
| 17 May 2016 | Readers’ Letters — Bonus Episode | 00:15:16 | |
A bonus episode! Tom shares email exchanges he had with two podcast listeners. One exchange is about handling people who interrupt presentations. The other is about defining tasks and responsibilities when they're not defined for you. During the podcast, Tom mentions two other episodes that support the ideas here: one episode is “Facilitating Open Dialogue.” The other is “Creating Devoted Followers.” If you’d like more bonus episodes like this one, let Tom know at info@essentialcomm.com. | |||
| 04 Aug 2016 | Taming Meetings | 00:14:51 | |
Meetings are often viewed as a necessary evil to be endured. But they can be engaging events that build people’s skills and accelerate the work. This month, a recipe for mixing up meeting magic. There is a four-meeting model discussed in this episode. If you want a graphic illustration of the model, just look at the online version in the archive: http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ or email me at info@essentialcomm.com Two books are also discussed in this month's episode: Patrick Lencioni's "The Five Dysfunctions of a Team" and "Death By Meeting," both essential reads for team leaders. | |||
| 02 Feb 2017 | Self-Limiting Beliefs | 00:15:51 | |
Self-limiting beliefs hold us back. We limit who we are so we don't shatter those beliefs. This month's coaching conversation serves up several strategies to help you push back against those demons. Along the way, we mention "Leadership and Self-Deception," a great book to help you on your journey. We also touch on the topic of "Coaching versus Therapy," something I've been talking about for years. You can find an epsiode about it in the archive. I also mention an interview I did with Eric Cacciatore on his podcast, "Restaurant Unstoppable" episode 298, in which he and I talk about management and turnover and motivation. It was a blast. Check it out. Related episodes: | |||
| 01 Jun 2017 | Short Sounds Confident | 00:17:07 | |
Holding each other’s attention is a constant challenge. But you can’t achieve The Look & Sound of Leadership if you can’t keep people listening to you. This month’s coaching conversation emphasizes three little slogans to make sure you aren’t driving your listeners away from you. All three slogans are just three words long: “Short sounds confident.” And “Communication takes effort.” And “Stop talking sooner.” There are so many reasons why embodying those slogans is hard. And, in truth, it’s easier for some people than for others. But everyone can get at least a little better at this. This month’s podcast will give you lots of practical tips – and some metaphors!—to help get you there. Past Tips are available at: Be in touch with us at: We love hearing from you. | |||
| 03 Dec 2015 | Showing Teeth | 00:15:05 | |
For many businesses, uncertainty and ambiguity is their new norm. In such anxious times, people long for leaders who will make tough decisions, stand behind those decisions, and protect their people. In some circles, this is called “showing teeth.” In this episode, I refer to The Center for Talent Innovation and their white paper on Executive Presence. I also refer to four related episodes: For more ideas about “Showing Teeth,” you might also check out all the episodes in the Assertiveness category of the Executive Coaching Tips archive. The Executive Coaching Tip that explains “unconscious competence” is Creating New Behaviors. | |||
| 09 Jul 2020 | Learnings From Video | 00:21:47 | |
This month’s coaching conversation follows a client exploring a surprising use for video, plus a game of imagination. The Marshmallow Test is explained in “Self-Awareness & Self-Management” Core Concepts in this episode: Some people are highly agitated these days. Their agitation is not about you. Don’t take it personally. You might find yourself more annoyed than normal. Don’t act on it.
RELATED ARCHIVE CATEGORIES
“Don’t Take Anything Personally” Leadership Behavior in Meetings
Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ Thanks this month to all of you who post reviews. See you next month! | |||
| 03 May 2018 | Readiness in Coaching | 00:24:14 | |
Why do some coaching engagements achieve positive transformations while others get stuck in the starting gate? This month’s coaching conversation explores who’s coachable, who isn’t, and why. The PDF discussed during this episode can be downloaded at: https://essentialcomm.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/ReadinessInCoaching.pdf https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/whos-coachable/ Aside from the “Who’s Coachable?” episode, four other episodes that echo the motifs in this month's Executive Coaching Tip are: Managing Disruptive Executives Managing Performance: Up or Out Every episode is available at: Be in touch with us at: | |||
| 02 May 2019 | Ask The Coaches - Readers' Letters | 00:26:25 | |
This month’s coaching conversation is between Tom Henschel and Mindy Danna who answer questions from our audience. Tom and Mindy have grown up together professionally. He runs Essential Communications where Mindy is a coach. She also works with the cutting-edge global consulting firm Cultivating Leadership. During the episode, Mindy mentions two books: Five related episodes are: In the archive, this episode is tagged in four categories: The archive is at: Subscribe to the HTML version at: Be in touch with Tom at: Thanks for your reviews and ratings! | |||
| 02 Nov 2017 | Conflict | 00:17:17 | |
Conflict is inevitable. But most of us were never taught the skills that would help us find our way through the dark corridors of this house called ‘Conflict.’ This month’s coaching conversation illuminates predictable patterns and practical tools to navigate successfully through Conflict House. The book Tom references in this episode: "Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most" by Stone, Patton & Heen. Related episodes this month are: In the Tips archive is a category called "Relationship Building." Many episodes there have useful tools, too. Help yourself. | |||
| 22 Jan 2021 | The Show Must Go On | 00:17:29 | |
In this special episode, Tom tells a story of being onstage one night in front of a packed theatre audience when the show most definitely did NOT go on. He also shares the lesson he learned from that calamity — a lesson he has subsequently shared with the hundreds of leaders he’s coached who need confidence as presenters. The archive of all the past episodes is available at: http://essentialcomm.com/
Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/
Be in touch with Tom at:
From all of us on “The Look & Sound of Leadership” team — enjoy! | |||
| 01 Jul 2021 | How To Build Self-Awareness | 00:26:18 | |
Self-awareness, like any muscle, can be built through discipline.In this episode, a leader learns two exercises to help build awareness of her thoughts and feelings. The two exercises discussed in this episode are detailed in a PDF that we’d love to send you. Send us an email and we’ll send back the PDF. The PDF also contains the Feeling Words Grid. Other resources mentioned in this episode: E.Q. Applied by Justin Bariso – a helpful, friendly book chock-full of exercises. Sort the episode library using the filter Feedback. Good feedback will build your self-awareness, for sure! Five episodes to listen to: #103 Self-Awareness & Self-Management #109 Building Emotional Intelligence Gratitude to those who are in touch and who post reviews. From the entire team at The Look & Sound of Leadership, be well. And thanks for listening. See you next month! | |||
| 08 Jul 2015 | In Sync Communications | 00:14:43 | |
When you’re communicating, you not only need to fly through the intricate patterns of your own information, you need to be sure we can thread that needle along with you. | |||
| 02 Apr 2020 | Branding Yourself | 00:22:30 | |
This month’s coaching conversation explores how to project your personal brand into the workplace. When done well it can seem like a Jedi mind trick – but it’s really just personal branding. Here are the five links Tom mentioned in the episode.
4 Ways to Improve Video Meetings
“That Discomfort You’re Feeling…” https://hbr.org/2020/03/that-discomfort-youre-feeling-is-grief
https://www.icfla.org/event/executive-coaching-sig/
Core Concepts in this episode: > Find language to help you talk about yourself > Talking about yourself is not a bad thing > Find words that spark an image of the brand you want to be. Think of them as often as you can. Related Archive Categories: Perception – How You’re Perceived
The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ Thanks everyone. Stay safe. Stay Home! Do it for the First Team! See you next month! | |||
| 14 Nov 2019 | Boundaries | 00:17:44 | |
This month’s coaching conversation explores how hard it can be to say ‘no’ sometimes. Together, Tom and his client come up with four strategies for setting better boundaries.This month’s coaching conversation explores how hard it can be to say ‘no’ sometimes. Together, Tom and his client come up with four strategies for setting better boundaries.
This Tip is in four categories in the archive:
The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Get the HTML transcript: Be in touch with Tom: See you next month! | |||
| 05 May 2016 | Personal Histories as Your Brand | 00:15:25 | |
How you brand yourself sticks with people a long time.Thismonth, a senior executive dreads having to brand himself duringaninterview – until he learns about the PersonalHistoriestechnique. In addition to giving you this simple yet powerful tool tohelpbuild your personal brand, this episode also references abookcalled "The Five Dysfunctions of a Team." Details about this book is at the end of the podcast. ThereIdiscuss that there are actually TWO books about theFiveDysfunctions. They're quite different. Here’s how. "The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fable" has ajuicystory about a team struggling to succeed. In the back of thebook,the author teaches The Five Dysfunctions and explains atarelatively high level how to overcome them. The tools in thisbook– including an assessment your team can fill out – areuseful. If you’d like to know how to build a high-performing team,thesecond book is even more useful. It’s called, "Overcoming TheFiveDysfunctions of a Team: A Field Guide for Leaders, ManagersandFacilitators." This book has detailed, step-by-step instructionstoguide to and your team to high achievement. | |||
| 03 Aug 2017 | Performing Like a TED Talker | 00:16:35 | |
Delivering a top-notch presentation requires you to master your ideas. Of course! But even more, you need to master yourself. Your audience won’t be able to lock onto you unless you are “in focus.” This month’s coaching conversation shows you how to get “in focus.” Related episodes are: Talking Like a TED Talker All Presentation Skills Tips are available at: A PDF summary of Chris Anderson's book, "TED Talks" is | |||
| 13 Jul 2017 | Prepping Like A TED Talker | 00:17:21 | |
Preparing a presentation raises many questions. How much are you going to rehearse? What will you actually do during your rehearsal? Are you going to memorize your talk? This month’s coaching conversation covers all that and more. Four core concepts this month:
In the archive is a whole set of Tips about “self talk.” It’s at: There’s another set about “presentation skills.” That’s at: Many different Executive Coaching Tips are referenced in this episode. Four related episodes are: The entire archive of Tips is at: | |||
| 04 Mar 2015 | Status | 00:12:40 | |
We all assign ourselves a certain status. Of course, that means we assign status to others, too. The question is: do people experience your status as appropriate? Or do you need to dial it up? Or down! | |||
| 12 Jul 2018 | Managing Trauma | 00:23:34 | |
This month’s coaching conversation focuses on developing someone who may be a trauma survivor. A team leader’s compassionate caution may not be in the survivor’s best interest. Related episodes: Every episode is available in the archive at: Subscribe to the HTML version at: Be in touch with Tom at: Thank you so much for your reviews. It's hard to convey how meaningful those are. You help keep the podcast alive when you post a review. Thanks! | |||
| 04 Jun 2020 | The Intentional Leader | 00:18:36 | |
This month’s coaching conversation wrestles with the obstacles that arise when you try listening to people who think out loud – often at great length! This month’s coaching conversation is wide-ranging. It includes a leader’s story about being buoyed by her team. She and Tom also swap answers to a favorite question of her team’s: “How’re ya coping?” They then explore managing stress through being present and intentional. Three questions to help you become present: What am I doing right now? What feelings am I having right now? What is happening in my body right now? Approach these questions with curiosity. Don’t ask with an intention to fix. The intention is just to notice. You can explore self-management and self-awareness in the archive using the filters: Personal Growth & Self-Development You can take a deeper dive with these five episodes: Self-Awareness & Self-Management The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ Until next month, wishing you health and safety! | |||
| 07 Jul 2016 | Conquering Fear | 00:16:15 | |
Fear is natural but insidious. It can carve caverns in the foundations of our confidence, weakening our capacity. This month, a client learns about three kinds of fear and a transformational question that tames fear. A seminal book to help master fear is "Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway" by Susan Jeffers. At the end of this month's episode, Tom tells a story about the amazing reach of podcasts. | |||
| 10 Dec 2020 | The Rising Executive | 00:19:23 | |
This month’s coaching conversation features a newly promoted leader. He and Tom explore the tools needed to build a strong team quickly. Lots of links this month! At one point in the episode, Rafael mentions his impostor syndrome. For tools about impostor syndrome, check out: In the commentary, I mention two books: This is the field guide that will show you how to work with your team. Other related episodes are: Your Team’s Best Interests – Part One Your Team’s Best Interests – Part Two There are three filters in the archive that relate to this episode: The archive of Executive Coaching Tips is available at: Subscribe to the HTML version at: Be in touch with Tom at: As I celebrate the end of this distressing year and look towards a brighter 2021, you are all in my thoughts. See you next month! From all of us on “The Look & Sound of Leadership” team — thanks! | |||
| 03 Mar 2022 | How Leaders Can ‘Play Better Poker’ | 00:18:51 | |
A missed promotion prompts a leader to complain to her CEO. The CEO responds by getting her a coach, which results in explorations of authenticity, self-awareness and self-management. Visit our Tools bin for free PDFs to help you achieve The Look & Sound of Leadership. This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library: Perception - How You Perceive Yourself Perception - How You’re Perceived Seven related episodes you might listen to are: #103 – Self-Awareness & Self-Management #85 – Stop Giving Away Your Secrets #51 – When Learning Makes Things Worse Thanks to everyone who posts reviews. And thank you so much for your kind words! Let us know how we can support your growth and development. Be in touch with us here. Until next month, be well! Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. | |||
| 07 Apr 2022 | Two Paths to Flow | 00:19:32 | |
A worried leader seeks help finding balance between going with the flow and giving himself a larger voice. Visit our Tools bin for free PDFs to help you achieve The Look & Sound of Leadership. This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library: Five related episodes you might listen to are: 59 Focus in the Face of Distractions 30Self-Knowledge as Leadership Tom also talked about two books in this episode: “Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience”by Mihaly Csikszentmlhalyi “The Trust Advisor”by David Maister, et al Thanks to everyone who posts reviews, and thanks so much for your kind words! Let us know how we can support your growth and development. Be in touch with us here. Until next month, be well! Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. | |||
| 05 May 2022 | How to Set Boundaries | 00:23:28 | |
Kindness is killing a leader’s ability to set and hold effective boundaries. She works with her coach to find her voice and along the way discovers an empowering image about boundaries. We’ve put lots of free PDFs in our Tools bin to help you achieve The Look & Sound of Leadership. This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library: Five related episodes you might listen to are: 216 7 Steps to Stop Emotional Hijacks 210 How to Grow Your Self-Management Much gratitude to the folks who post reviews. We appreciate your support you’re your kind words. Let us know how we can support your growth and development. Be in touch with us here. Until next month, be well! Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. | |||
| 09 Jun 2022 | Holding Boundaries | 00:20:52 | |
A leader, often reticent to speak up on her own behalf, learns tools to help her ask for what she wants without worrying she’ll incite a battle. This month we’ve created another free PDF for you in our Tools bin. This one is to help you use video playback to achieve The Look & Sound of Leadership. This month’s episode is tagged in the Podcast Library in these three categories: Related episodes you might listen to are: 86 Intimacy in Business: Setting Boundaries We send gratitude to the people posting reviews. Thank you for your support and kind words. If you have a question about your career and how coaching might help, be in touch with us here. Until next month, stay healthy and be well. Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. | |||
| 07 Jul 2022 | Conflict | 00:18:48 | |
Conflict is inevitable, but most of us were never taught skills to help us find our way through the dark corridors of this house called “Conflict.” This month’s coaching conversation illuminates predictable patterns and practical tools to navigate successfully through Conflict House. If you’re looking to develop your executive presence, our latest PDF is for you. It talks about the four factors every executive needs to be effective. It’s free. You can find it in our Tools bin. Help yourself. This month’s episode is tagged in the Podcast Library under
27 Repairing Damaged Relationships
Tom references the book “Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most” by Stone, Patton and Heen, from the Harvard Negotiation Project. As always, thanks to the folks who post reviews. We are so grateful for your support and kind words. If you have a question about your career and how coaching might help, be in touch with us here. Until next month, stay healthy and be well. Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team.
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| 04 Aug 2022 | The Conflict Conversation | 00:19:13 | |
What’s helpful to say when you’re in an argument? How can you prepare to have an argument? This month’s coaching conversation dives deeper into the topic of “Conflict” which began last month. This episode has scripts and concepts for mastering The Conflict Conversation. We’ve created another PDF to support your leadership development. It’s a feedback model detailing actions and intentions for you. If you’re serious about your leadership, you have to be serious about mastering the art of feedback. Grab this Essential Tool and dig in. It’s waiting for you in our Tools bin.
Related episodes you might listen to are: #27 Repairing Damaged Relationships
Thanks this month, and every month, to those of you who post reviews. We are so grateful for your support and kind words. If you have a question about your career and how coaching might help, be in touch with us here. Until next month, stay healthy and be well. Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. | |||
| 08 Sep 2022 | Responsibility Charting | 00:23:20 | |
A team leader is tired of kerfuffles. In conversation with her coach, she learns to use a simple chart that generates almost miraculous results. The chart is available to you here. Please, help yourself. Other tools for leading your team that Tom mentioned in this episode include The Five Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni. You can download a sample of the team development tool based on the book that Tom mentioned. The Five Behaviors of a Cohesive Team assessment is available to you here. If you’re looking to pick Tom’s brain a little more, all his interviews are available to you in Conversations. His conversation on Keys to the Shop is available here. His conversation on Next Gen Leadership is available here. This month’s episode is tagged in the Podcast Library under Related episodes you might listen to are:
As ever, we cannot give enough thanks to those of you who post reviews. Thank you for your support and kind words. Got a question about your career and how coaching might help? Get in touch with us here. Until next month, stay healthy and be well. Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. | |||
| 06 Oct 2022 | How to Disarm a Trigger | 00:23:28 | |
A leader causing upset among her people is given a coach. In conversation, they examine what might be triggering people to be upset with her. The exploration leads to a simple, yet difficult, idea. Transcripts of every episode are available for download in our library. Tom mentioned two episodes with mindfulness tools. They are: This episode is filed in three categories in the library: Personal Growth & Self-Development In addition to the mindfulness episodes, five other related episodes are: 119 Creating Devoted Followers Listen to Tom’s conversation with Kim O’Hara on “You Should Write a Book About That.” Listen to Tom’s conversation with Marcel van de Hoef on “The Happy Investor.” Gratitude to those who POST REVIEWS. You are life-sustaining! Thank you! Got a question you think a coach could help with? We’re happy to talk! Get in touch with us here. Until next month, stay healthy and be well. Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. | |||
| 03 Nov 2022 | How to Turn on Your Executive Thinking | 00:19:23 | |
A senior executive worries that his lieutenants are not being taken seriously by the senior leadership team. He discusses with a coach how to help his rising leaders accelerate their growth. This is that conversation. We created a new free Essential Tool for you called “Executive Thinking.” It illustrates the “altitude” analogy Tom told during the episode. It also supports one of the four exercises you can do with your team. Additional Essential Tools that support other exercises are “Before You Write Your Presentation” and “Sorting & Labeling.” Liberating Structures is the free resource Tom was raving about. The specific exercise he mentioned was TRIZ. Tom has talked about Liberating Structures in the episodes “How to Re-engage a Team” and “Leading Offsites.” If you’re approaching year-end performance reviews, there are tools to support you – no matter which side of the review you’re on! – in Performance Reviews. Tom referenced two shows that can help you learn Sorting & Labeling. Coaching For Leaders with Dave Stachowiak: The Way to Make Sense to Others. The Everyday Innovator with Chad McCallister: How Product Managers Look & Sound like Leaders. This current episode is tagged in the library in three categories: Perception – How You’re Perceived In addition to the various episodes listed above, five that relate specifically to executive thinking are: 178 Executive Presence – Three Pillars
Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. | |||
| 08 Dec 2022 | How to Act in Your Own Best Interest | 00:21:41 | |
A team leader had a habit of jumping to conclusions. His most recent leap landed him in hot water. In conversation with his coach, he learns a tool for making better choices. We created a new free Essential Tool illustrating The Ladder of Inference. It’s in the Essential Tools bin along with all the others. Please help yourself. The “Don’t Judge Too Quickly” ads are on YouTube here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UP8NRgWtPaE&t=18s This current episode is tagged in the library in three categories: Perception – How You Perceive Yourself Personal Growth & Self-Development In addition to the various episodes listed above, five that will help you think about your thinking are: 210 – How to Grow Your Self-Management
With gratitude, Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. | |||
| 12 Jan 2023 | Finding a Lighter Path | 00:19:10 | |
A leader, stuck in an unhealthy cycle, searches for a way out. In conversation with his coach, he learns a four-square tool that just might work. A new free Essential Tool illustrating the four-square model is available for download in the Essential Tools bin. No login required. Help yourself. The model in this month’s episode is a variation on The ACT Matrix. Here’s our favorite YouTube video about The Matrix. The creators of The ACT Matrix wrote a book to help practitioners use the tool.
Here are five episodes to help you get unstuck: 7 Steps to Stop Emotional Hijacks* How to Grow your Self-Management* * Indicates there’s a PDF in the Essential Tools bin to support the ideas in that episode. We are so excited to dive into the new year with you all! All the best, Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. | |||
| 02 Feb 2023 | Leadership v Management - 2023 | 00:21:21 | |
An executive, in conversation with her coach, wonders if leaders and managers are different. And whether it matters. This episode has lots of ideas flying around. To help you sort the tools and put them into practice, we’ve created an infographic for you to download. It’s in the Essential Tools bin along with all the others. Help yourself!
Five related episodes you might listen to are: We are so grateful to those of you post reviews. It only takes you a minute or two, but it makes a world of difference for us.
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| 02 Mar 2023 | The Sound of Leadership & Management - 2023 | 00:20:51 | |
In conversation with her coach, an executive explores whether leaders and managers use language differently in order to be effective in their roles.
Five related episodes you might listen to are: 138Managing Disruptive Executives Much gratitude to the folks who post reviews. We appreciate your support and all your kind words.
Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. | |||
| 06 Apr 2023 | How to Command a Room | 00:21:31 | |
Wanting to command rooms with her voice, a team leader turned to her coach for exercises. She learned the secrets of “RVP.” In this episode, five practices to help you develop a voice that will command a room are discussed:
The Zootopia clip that gets so much attention is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHKwnUa3txo This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library: Five episodes to help you command a room: 186 Video Feedback & Executive Presence 34 Keeping Repeated Material Fresh All our free infographics are in the Essential Tools bin. Thanks for supporting us with your reviews. Let us know how we can support you. Until next month, be well! Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. | |||
| 11 May 2023 | Staying Afloat in a Shitstorm | 00:26:01 | |
A highly effective leader finds herself in the middle of a terrible mess, not of her own making. When her coach marvels at her ability to stay calm amidst the chaos, she shares a lesson she learned from her dad. In addition to the tools discussed during this episode, Tom also talks about: “Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High.” Conversations with Coaches – Episode #184 Executive Coaching Special Interest Group This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library: Perception – How You Perceive Yourself Five episodes to help you manage during difficult times: 109 - Building Emotional Intelligence 152 - Combating Emotional Hijacks 75 - “Don’t Take Anything Personally” All our free infographics are in the Essential Tools bin. Your reviews supporting the show help us continue as an ad-free podcast. Let us know how we can support you. Until next month, be well! Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. | |||
| 08 Jun 2023 | Unlocking Executive Presence through Emotional Intelligence | 00:22:11 | |
During her first C-suite years, a leader burned a lot of bridges. Her boss, who’d traveled a similar path, gets her a coach and sets only one goal: repair relations through emotional intelligence.
Free downloads: Books and papers to sharpen your skills “Executive Presence: The Missing Link between Merit and Success” “The EQ Edge: Emotional Intelligence and Your Success” “Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well” “Executive Presence” from Center for Talent Innovation This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library: Personal Growth & Self-Development Five episodes to help you command a room: 109 Building Emotional Intelligence 69 Leadership & Self-Deception
Our deepest gratitude to those who post reviews. Thank you!!! Let us know how we can support you. Until next month, be well! Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. | |||
| 06 Jul 2023 | Taming the Defensiveness Dragon | 00:27:56 | |
At the end of her rope, a leader asks her coach for help managing a direct report who, she says, is the most defensive person she’s ever met. This episode was packed with tools. We’ve put them into an easy-to-understand infographic. Download it for free here. Kim Scott, the best-selling author of the electric book Radical Candor, wrote a short, friendly guide with tools for handling defensive employees. Find it here. Harvard Business Review’s Amy Gallo talked with Dave Stachowiak on this episode of the Coaching for Leaders podcast. As with every episode of Dave’s, this is indispensable. To work on “deserving” dive into The Four Agreements. To dig deeper into tools for taming defensiveness, search our podcast library in these three categories: Five specific episodes on this topic you could listen to are:
Sign up to get our monthly email with links to resources that support each episode. Calling all COACHES! Come join our Executive Coaching special interest group (SIG) sponsored by the Los Angeles Chapter of ICF. Check out our SIG and all the others here. Or shoot me an email with your questions. I’m at tom@essentialcomm.com. All our free infographics are in the Essential Tools bin. Your reviews supporting the show help us continue as an ad-free podcast. Let us know how we can support you. Until next month, be well! Thanks from Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership. | |||
| 03 Aug 2023 | Essential Skills that Shaped a Leader | 00:21:31 | |
A senior leader, having risen through the ranks, ends her coaching engagement by comparing notes with her coach about the skills that have helped her most. This episode identified seven essential leadership skills:
Resources to develop those last three: Commitment to Development
The Ability to Reflect Speak for Yourself
This month’s episode lives in our podcast library in these three categories: Executive Presence
Building Empathy
All our infographics are available to you for free in the Essential Tools bin. Let us know how we can support you. From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks! | |||
| 07 Sep 2023 | The Conflict Resolution Wheel | 00:24:56 | |
A co-founder, at odds with his partner (also his best friend!), reaches out to his coach for help saving the business and the friendship. The episode introduces The Conflict Resolution Wheel. Download it for free from our Essential Tools bin along with other communication tools like the Feeling Words Grid. The Wheel is based on a tool in the Couple Communication course, a program to help you understand and connect with your partner better. The course’s workbook, Talking and Listening Together, is meant for self-study. It’s available for purchase online. Another book Tom references in this episode is the classic Crucial Conversations. This episode is in our podcast library in three categories:
Creating Safety for Hard Talks
Thank you thank you thank you to those of you who post reviews. You make such a difference to us. Thanks for supporting the show! Let us know how we can support you. Until next month, from Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, be well! And thanks!
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| 04 Oct 2023 | Building Consensus – Savvy or Sin? | 00:27:06 | |
A leader, surrounded by people she knows and trusts, can’t seem to get traction with them. In conversation with her coach, she discovers an unexpected cause. The four tools Tom suggests as first steps for helping your team openly discuss ideas are:
The Gradients of Agreement tool supports the ideas in this episode. Download it for free from our Essential Tools bin along with other communication tools like Sorting & Labeling. Additional tools for team growth mentioned in this episode are the classic Crucial Conversations and Tom’s conversation on The cATalyzing Podcast. This episode is in our podcast library in three categories: Specific episodes that will help you develop your team are: Leadership Behavior in Meetings Power Tools for Teams: Plus/Delta Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. You can sign up here.
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| 02 Nov 2023 | Leading with Political Savvy – Part 1 | 00:27:09 | |
A leader feels stuck. She sees others winning resources she felt should have been hers, but she hates playing politics. What to do?
Here are five episodes to help develop your political savvy: 215 - How to Stay Calm Under Fire Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here.
Email me with your suggestions for what we should not miss in Japan this December! tom@essentialcomm.com
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| 07 Dec 2023 | Leading with Political Savvy – Part 2 | 00:21:41 | |
Tired of losing to more savvy players, a leader seeks to decode the secrets of playing politics, focusing particularly on company culture. | |||
| 11 Jan 2024 | 5 Strategies for Dealing with Narcissists | 00:18:17 | |
A leader is so furious with his self-absorbed boss, he considers quitting the company. He asks his coach to help him manage himself and defuse his triggers. In addition to the five strategies Tom talks about in this episode, there are lots more strategies in his conversation with Dave Stachowiak on Coaching For Leaders “How to Deal with a Boss Who’s a Jerk.”
Other episodes to help you manage yourself in difficult workplace relationshipsare:
Looking for a transcript of the show? Download it here. Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here.
Happy, healthy, safe new year! | |||
| 01 Feb 2024 | Finding Management Courage | 00:18:46 | |
A vice president, struggling to control his team of artists, learns a technique for managing bad behavior from his coach. He likes it so much, he uses it with his high performers, too. The tool described in this episode is simple to understand but may take a bit of courage to implement. Five episodes you might listen to are: #47 Discussing Difficult Behaviors #18 Holding People Accountable #138 Managing Disruptive Executives #127 Managing Performance: Up or Out A free infographic for Sorting & Labeling is in our Essential Tools bin. Help yourself to that and all the others. From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks! | |||
| 07 Mar 2024 | Conquering People Pleasing | 00:26:10 | |
Angry at himself for continually putting others’ needs before his own, a leader turns to his coach for tools. He learns a new way to think and a behavior to try.
This episode lives in the podcast archive in these three categories:
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| 04 Apr 2024 | Mastering Nerves | 00:23:36 | |
Before testifying in a high-stakes case, a theorist and his coach swap horror stories about their nerves hijacking them and the lessons they learned.
Here is the clip of Emma Stone battling her anxiety. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VkN0sPQ76E0 Email Tom and tell him he’s crazy here. For Coaches! 2 Resources!
Tom’s conversations with Neha Singh on “Bridge to Leadership” podcast are here and here. Please help yourself to the free resources in our Essential Tools bin.
Five episodes to help conquer your people pleasing tendencies: Grab a free transcript of the episode here.
From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks! | |||
| 09 May 2024 | Networking Conversations – Part 1 | 00:16:16 | |
An ambitious leader knows she’ll need to network to achieve her career goals. But, to her, networking feels slimy, so she asks her coach for help. Some core concepts from this episode:
Listen to Tom’s “Flow” and “Fall” stories on the Coaching Stories podcast with Dr. Sam Humphrey. COACHES!
https://www.icfla.org/special-interest-groups-2/ Be in touch with Tom here. Please help yourself to the free resources in our Essential Tools bin including one called “10 Rules of Networking.”
This month’s episode is in the podcast archive in three categories: Five episodes to grow your networking skills: Tom also mentioned an episode called Conquering People Pleasing. Grab a free transcript of the episode here. We share more resources in our monthly Essential News email. Sign up here. From all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks! | |||
| 06 Jun 2024 | Networking Conversations – Part Two | 00:23:52 | |
Knowing she’ll need to network to achieve her career goals, an ambitious leader asks her coach what a good networking conversation actually sounds like. Resources for Building Your Networking Skills Leverage the latest algorithm on LinkedIn with this research report. Coaching For Leaders podcast: “How to Grow Your Professional Network” Coaching For Leaders podcast: “Executive Presence with Your Elevator Speech”
Link to 10 Rules of Networking PDF in Essential Tools bin Sorting & Labeling Link to Sorting & Labeling PDF in Essential Tools bin The Look & Sound of Leadership: “Assume Equality” The Look & Sound of Leadership: “Being Concise” This month’s episode is in the podcast archive in three categories: Five episodes to grow your networking skills: 162 - Acting on the Corporate Stage 192 - Pursuing a Promotion 2020 Grab a free transcript of this episode here. Be in touch with Tom here. We share more resources in our monthly Essential News email. Sign up here. Listen to Tom’s conversation with Scott Ritzheimer on “Secrets of the High Demand Coach.” COACHES! Join us at the Executive Coaching Special Interest Group sponsored by ICF Los Angeles. You’ll get CCE’s, too! From all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks!
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| 11 Jul 2024 | Giving Upward Feedback | 00:22:01 | |
A leader and her coach discuss a three-step model for turning upward feedback into a learning conversation that might allow the boss to hear the message. This month’s coaching conversation explores whether feedback should be given upwards in the first place. If so, are there ways to deliver the feedback effectively? Download the free “Giving Upward Feedback” PDF. In the commentary, Tom tells a story about the Marshmallow Test being debunked. Here’s the column he mentions. This episode is tagged in the library in three categories: Five related episodes you might listen to are: 74 Dealing with Emotional Responses 99 The Disruptive Executive – Part One Be in touch with Tom here.
Grab a free transcript of the episode here. We share more resources in our monthly Essential News email. Sign up here. From all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks! | |||
| 08 Aug 2024 | Coaching versus Therapy | 00:23:19 | |
Tired of feeling like a fraud, a leader searches for help down different paths. She and her coach talk about how coaching is, and is not, like therapy. The leader in this episode wrestles with feelings of being a fraud. Tom talks about three resources to help manage that feeling: “The Executive Impostor” Episode #176 of “The Look & Sound of Leadership” Self-Esteem at Work by Nathaniel Branden & Warren Bennis The Confidence Code by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman Additional tools to support your professional development are these free PDFs from our Essential Tools bin: You can listen to Tom’s conversations on these two shows: “I Need at Coach” with Adam Packard “Take Five” with Paul Butler This episode is tagged in four categories in our podcast archive: Personal Growth & Self-Development Four episodes, in addition to “The Executive Impostor” listed above, that will help you dive deeper into the ideas in this episode are: Be in touch with Tom here. Grab a free transcript of this episode here. We share more resources in our monthly Essential News email. Sign up here. To all of you, from all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks! | |||
| 05 Sep 2024 | Mastering Anxiety | 00:18:41 | |
Battling perfectionism and anxiety, a leader asks her coach for help and learns a tool that helps her tame her terrors. This episode dovetails with many ideas in last month’s episode about Coaching versus Therapy. Tom talks about his own bout with anxiety and a near career-ending attack of nervousness in this episode from April. https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/mastering-nerves/ Pixar’s Inside Out 2 has a powerful depiction of a 13-year-old girl suffering a full-blown anxiety attack. The experience and its aftermath is moving. MindShift CBT is a free app designed to help you take charge of your anxiety and develop more effective ways of thinking. Dr. Steven Melemis, a mood disorder expert, wrote I Want to Change My Life, filled with practical exercises and a one-month step-by-step plan to start you on a road to transformation. In under two minutes, Tom shared a “golden nugget” on the “How to Survive and Thrive Podcast.” You can hear it here. This episode is tagged in three categories in our podcast archive: Personal Growth & Self-Development Five episodes with more tools to help you master anxiety are: #152 Combating Emotional Hijacks Curious about coaching? Reach out to Tom here.
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| 03 Oct 2024 | Building Listening | 00:22:53 | |
A vice-president gets kudos for likability but knocks for her inability to listen. With her coach, she talks about listening repeatedly. This episode features one of those conversations. The 3 listening mindsets:
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Five episodes you might listen to are: 136 - A Breakdown of Listening 229 - The Sound of Leadership & Management - 2023 232 - Unlocking Executive Presence through Emotional Intelligence Coaches! Download the pricing survey here. Join us at the Executive Coaching Special Interest Group. We welcome coaches at every stage of development. Check us out here: If you’re curious about coaching, reach out to Tom here.
Free transcripts of this and every episode are available here. More resources are available in our monthly Essential News email. Sign up here. To all of you, from all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, much gratitude! | |||